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“This run was even worse than the one before it.”
Doyoung flops back on his ass from where he was crouching over the laptop screen to monitor the number they just ran through, dragging his hands up into his hair over and over again, frustrated. None of the dancers or stage managers around him really argue with the comment, which he finds annoying even if he knows it’s actually good they’re being honest. He can feel everyone’s eyes on him now, and that’s annoying too. Well, of course they’re all watching him, it’s his rehearsal for his show. Doyoung sighs deeply and crawls to his feet again, taking time to do it, entire body sore from hours of practice.
“Okay, we’re beyond the point of improvement.” He scratches at the back of his head and shuffles his foot against the taped X on the stage below him as he declares, “Let’s just call it a night.” He waits for the gathering of people to disperse before trotting to the stage stairs himself, not wanting to look anyone in the eye - whether to hide his own disappointment or avoid seeing their own, he’s not sure. Maybe they sense the mood or maybe they’re just tired, but everyone leaves Doyoung alone as he gathers his things from backstage and pulls on his discarded hoodie and hat.
Not wanting that luck to run out, Doyoung heads straight out the back stage door and into the night - or more like, very early morning - even though he’s not yet sure where he’s heading. He pulls out his phone and sighs at the time. It’s really only a few hours before he’ll have to be back here and do it all over again. And if he doesn’t refresh himself in some way, that rehearsal is going to be as useless as this one had devolved into.
Too exhausted to think, the singer opens the food delivery map just for inspiration, just to see what’s nearby and open. He stares down at the map a long moment, something close to a thought stirring within him, and brings the phone to his ear with just a few taps before he can change his mind.
“Hyung?” A sleepy voice picks up after several rings, really more a slurred grunt than an actual greeting.
“I’m sorry to wake you,” Doyoung starts honestly, waving and starting to jog as he spots one of the managers heading for a car in the parking lot, “I just wanted to let you know that I’m coming over so you wouldn’t be startled when you hear me come in, okay?”
“Okay…” The sleepy voice echoes, and the phone rustles like he’s maybe turning over in bed, maybe tucking the phone in with him as he lays down again.
“Go back to sleep and I’ll see you soon, so don’t be startled, okay?” Doyoung reiterates as he climbs into the manager’s van before hanging up, nibbling his bottom lip a moment as he grapples with the decision. He already told him he’s coming, so there’s nothing he can do about it now, even if he feels bad about how late it is. Doyoung leans over to the manager to show the address on his phone. “Can you drop me off at Donghyuck’s?”
When Doyoung keys himself into the place he toes off his shoes and drops his bag before making his way straight back to the bedroom. The door is slightly ajar and when Doyoung swings it open Donghyuck is propped up on his elbows in bed and staring owlishly back at him, rigid.
Doyoung makes a sympathetic noise at the sight. “Did you forget that I called?” He shuffles over to pet at the singer’s bedhead, to show him that it’s him, and even just in the few seconds as he approaches he sees Donghyuck relax again, slumping back against the pillows.
“You called?” Donghyuck slurs, still half asleep even now, rubbing the heel of his hand into one eye, then the other, trying to focus on blinking blearily up at his surprise guest.
Doyoung huffs a little laugh, endeared, he should’ve known better than to think Donghyuck was awake enough to absorb what he was telling him on the phone. He just didn’t want to be such a monster, barging into this soft, warm, quiet sanctuary uninvited. In the middle of the night. But now that he’s here, Doyoung can’t help but admit to himself that this is exactly what he needed - a soft, warm, quiet sanctuary. Donghyuck looks so comfortable in his bed tucked among the blankets and pillows, eyes drooping with sleepiness even as he tries to peer up at him - just the concept of knowing this vignette is happening a few blocks from where Doyoung’s been toiling away preparing his solo concert, is already healing.
“Come sleep?” Donghyuck asks, pulling back the covers to invite Doyoung in, tilting his head up at him like he’s not actually sure why his hyung has just appeared to him and he’s only guessing. Doyoung isn’t exactly sure of his intentions, either, he hasn’t really thought past coming and seeing sleepy Donghyuck just to be reminded that not everyone in the world is as miserable and frustrated as Doyoung is currently feeling, but if he’s here to leech off his dongsaeng’s comfort, getting in that bed definitely can’t hurt.
Doyoung really considers it, too. His entire body is considering it, he’s so beyond exhausted it hurts just to stand, it hurts to be awake and breathing and thinking. But even in that state, Doyoung can’t bring himself to put his sweaty skin and outside clothes in that soft, warm bed.
“I need to wash up first,” Doyoung pets at Donghyuck’s hair again, then reaches down to pull the blankets back up around him, “Go back to sleep, Hyuckie.”
“Come back, okay?” Donghyuck sighs and smacks his lips as he turns over on his side and is instantly asleep again, but Doyoung nods his answer anyway before turning and heading for the shower. He knows what the singer means, and he doesn’t have to worry, Doyoung won’t be staying in the guest room - there is something about Donghyuck’s bed that is screaming his name, he could practically hear it from the rehearsal hall.
Doyoung showers quickly, turning the water hotter any time his mind starts to wander back to rehearsals. Deep down, logically, he knows it’s fine. It’ll all come together, and the last few runthroughs are always a disaster of overcorrecting and overexhaustion that don’t really mean anything, he knows that. He knows all that, but it still doesn’t feel great. He still feels frustrated, and tired, and that pit of anxiety and childish fears that he’ll never be good enough threatening to bubble up from deep within himself.
Instead, he boils himself in Donghyuck’s shower and uses his shampoo. When he’s tried off, he picks through the younger’s walk-in closet until he finds some sweats and a hoodie that he thinks were his in the first place to put on. He feels bad about the noise, but he blow dries his hair anyway so it won’t be wet on Donghyuck’s pillows.
It’s so easy to care for Donghyuck. Easier. Doyoung is too exhausted at this point to pretend he doesn’t know why he’s doing what he’s doing - why he’s here. It’s selfish, but it’s also nice. So nice and easy with Donghyuck. That’s what he thinks as he finally returns to the bedroom to carefully crawl into the bed with his dongsaeng. It’s plenty big enough for the both of them, huge really, but it doesn’t surprise him how quickly Donghyuck snuggles up to his side, wrapping an arm around him and tucking his cheek into the crook of his shoulder, breathing deeply like he’s enjoying the smell of fresh shampoo. Doyoung breathes in too, getting a lungful of that same shampoo smell but warmer from the top of Donghyuck’s fluffy head tucked beneath his chin, and just like that, he’s asleep.
“There’s a hyung in my bed.”
Doyoung finally stirs from his sleep hours later at the sound of Donghyuck’s voice, muttered somewhere near his chest where the younger has glued himself onto him, both an arm and a leg flung firmly around Doyoung now, making them just a tangled pile of limbs beneath the covers.
Doyoung slept deep and dreamlessly, and he smiles sleepily as he realizes that, relieved, stirring and stretching what he is capable of moving within Donghyuck’s koala-grip. “You don’t remember me coming in?” He teases, peeking one eye open to grin down at the younger, but when Donghyuck blinks blearily up at him and hums thoughtfully like he really doesn’t, Doyoung smacks his shoulder with an incredulous laugh. “What is wrong with you?”
Donghyuck laughs and flops back against the pillows, and Doyoung reaches down to ruffle his bedhead affectionately. “Well, I’m glad I didn’t scare you, at least…” He admits, conjuring the frozen expression of Donghyuck sat straight up in bed last night before sending it away again with a shake of his head.
“You couldn’t scare a fly, hyung,” Donghyuck coos, somehow both nudging him teasingly and cuddling closer to his side.
Doyoung just rolls his eyes with a laugh and rolls onto his back to grab his phone off the nightstand behind him, ignoring the whine it earns him from his clingy teddy bear for daring to put some space between them. They both scroll on their phones like that for a while, Doyoung checking his rehearsal schedule for the day and adding reminders to his calendar app, Donghyuck propping his chin and his phone on Doyoung’s chest as he seems to be scrubbing through a Dream content that was just posted to Youtube, monitoring his performance.
After a while of watching through his lines, listening to the members laugh, rewinding to watch it all again, Donghyuck eventually sets his phone aside with a sigh and hugs himself tight to Doyoung’s side again, digging his face into his shoulder. He grabs Doyoung’s phone out of his hand and sets it aside, too, then brings that now-free hand to his lips to kiss the back of it before directing it to the top of his head next, encouraging his hyung to pet him again, which he does. Donghyuck kisses Doyoung’s shoulder where his face is pressed next, pecking it a few times when he realizes he isn’t going to be shoved away for it, because Doyoung doesn’t.
There are people who are physically affectionate, and then there’s Donghyuck, who Doyoung is certain is the most physically needy person on earth. The singer’s need to hold and cuddle and hug and kiss is seemingly insatiable, or at least Doyoung has never found the end of it, and he knows he’s got to be the biggest enabler since he never has been able to tell Donghyuck no. How can he when their youngest seems to need skinship like he needs air? And when others shrug him off so easily. Doyoung thinks it’s much easier to give him what he wants.
Donghyuck crawls half on top of Doyoung as he cranes up to kiss him on the lips next, an affectionate peck, quick like he’s checking if he’ll get away with it, and when he does, another.
Doyoung reaches up to brush his fingers through the younger’s soft curls again, finally taking a good look in the morning light and asking, “Did you change your hair?”
Donghyuck nods his chin where he’s rested it on Doyoung’s chest again, peering up at him. “We have an album jacket shoot later.”
Doyoung hums thoughtfully as he pets at the fluffy bedhead, admiring the reddish tint to it, subtle on Donghyuck’s dark brown hair, but flattering. The we must be Dream since it’s not a schedule Doyoung knows about; he knows the group has a comeback coming up, but it still feels selfishly disappointing that Donghyuck has plans today, too, that they really can’t just lay here in bed together all day. Wanting Donghyuck warm and cozy and waiting for him at home whenever Doyoung needs an escape from reality would be giving the younger a run for his money in terms of absolute neediness, and Doyoung shakes the thought away before declaring instead, “We should eat.”
“Do you want to go somewhere?” Donghyuck asks, rolling over to grab his phone from wherever he tossed it again.
Doyoung tries to imagine it, the pair of them getting dressed and getting a car and finding a table at a restaurant as more and more people begin to gather in the periphery with their phones pointed at them. “Let’s just order something,” he sighs.
Donghyuck seemed to anticipate the answer and is already scrolling on the delivery app, nodding as he pulls up a menu. “There’s a place I’ve wanted you to try.”
Doyoung leaves it at that, trusting Donghyuck to order for them both and venturing out from under the covers to wash up first, only poking his head out from the bathroom once to whine to the singer, “Nothing fried!” He knows his stomach can’t take it today, with such a long and undoubtedly frustrating rehearsal looming. The anxiety is there if he thinks about it for more than a minute, so he tries not to, focusing just on the simple stuff, the physical stuff. He starts vocal warmups in the shower, sucking in lungfuls of steam and letting it loosen up his chest, blowing it out through his lips set in an ‘O’, engaging his core on each exhale.
When they switch off so Donghyuck can shower Doyoung pulls back on the borrowed sweats and pads into the livingroom, flopping on the couch to catch up on some of the million notifications on his phone. His manager says good morning and asks if he wants a ride to rehearsal, her subtle way of checking where exactly he is. There is a slightly guilty feeling that Doyoung doesn’t have the time or energy to examine as he responds that he’s at Donghyuck’s and gives her the address to pick him up on the way to rehearsal.
Donghyuck comes trotting out with damp hair and crosses straight to the front door, retrieving the delivery from the hallway and handing one of the bags over to Doyoung when he comes to help. They both set up at the table in the living room and sit on the rug, and although his stomach is growling at this point Doyoung listens diligently as Donghyuck walks him through everything he ordered for them and the reasoning behind it, what he’s tried from this place before and liked versus what they will be trying for the first time today, and what he wants Doyoung to try first. It’s a stew, spicy but not heavy with a heaping serving of extra kimchi on the side, and Doyoung eats hungrily with spoonfuls of rice between each bite, nodding and humming his approval his Donghyuck so the younger can turn his attention to his own food.
Doyoung pounds half of it down in silence before gaining enough strength from the food to set it aside and grab the tv remote, flipping through Netflix for a few minutes until he finds a random drama to throw on. They’re both more interested in the food but they half-watch it between pointing out bites for the other to try, and commenting on the flavor.
“It’s really good,” Doyoung repeats for the fourth or fifth time as he’s finishing up, laughing and waving his hand at the look Donghyuck gives him over the top of the soup he’s slurping down the last of, insisting, “No really, this is our new spot I think!”
“Next time we’ll get the kimchi jeon too,” Donghyuck insists around a mouthful of food then tosses down his empty container on the table with an Olympian grunt and flops over in the older singer’s lap, patting his full stomach.
Doyoung finishes a few bites after and stretches out with a groan, laying back against the couch and muttering one last time, just for good measure, “It’s really good.”
Donghyuck groans in agreement and rolls over on his side, hugging his middle. “Manager-nim’s going to have to roll me into the van,” he sighs.
Doyoung tucks his chin down to peer at him, resisting frowning. “Are they on the way?”
“Yeah.” Donghyuck sits up and sighs again, then rallies to crawl to his feet. He turns back to offer both hands down to Doyoung, pulling his hyung up as he asks, “Are you leaving too?”
Doyoung nods. “I have to get back to rehearsal,” he confirms, turning his attention to cleaning up the table.
“How’s it going?” Donghyuck asks as he joins in piling up the empty containers and used napkins.
“It’s… ah.” Doyoung trails off into a huff of a laugh, shrugging, making his frustration from the night before clear enough. But it feels pointless to whine and complain to Donghyuck, Doyoung knows he could do it but Donghyuck doesn’t need to hear it, he’s heard it all already before. But Donghyuck is actually looking at him, waiting for more detail, so Doyoung finally shrugs and sighs again, elaborating, “It’s a different experience, preparing a 360 solo stage. We have to consider every angle, everything is taking three times as long.”
Donghyuck considers the information a moment, then nods. “It’s going to be really cool.” The sincere evaluation makes Doyoung laugh and shake his head as they shove the last of the trash in the can in the kitchen and wash their hands. He knows Donghyuck really means it, too, and somehow it makes Doyoung feel a little lighter. It sounds familiar - like the little voice inside Doyoung that’s been telling him all along the way that of course it’s all going to work out, like it always does. Doyoung’s never thought about it before, but that voice does sound like Donghyuck’s. Even if the state of the rehearsals right now is not making Doyoung feel confident that it’s going to be really cool, it’s easy to listen to Donghyuck. Easier.
Doyoung’s phone buzzes in his pocket, and he pulls it out to frown at the screen. “She’s pulling up, I better head down.”
Donghyuck whines and throws his arms around Doyoung like he’s not going to let him go, leaning his full weight into him and letting Doyoung hold him up like a toddler suddenly deciding to go no bones. He smacks a few kisses to Doyoung’s neck and shoulders, then rubs his face into the soft fabric of his hoodie, sounding muffled as he says, “Thanks for this, hyung, I really needed it.”
Doyoung is surprised by the comment, staring off thoughtfully over the top of Donghyuck’s head as he hugs him back and sways them both together. How could Donghyuck thank him after all Doyoung’s done is impose, greedily and selfishly leeching off of whatever time and comfort and healing he can squeeze out of his dongsaeng.
I really needed it. Doyoung can’t help but wonder what he’s given Donghyuck. Finally he just shakes his head and laughs, squeezing Donghyuck tightly as he teases, though it’s really sincere, “That’s what I was going to say!” He presses a kiss to the top of his head before breaking away to shoulder his bag by the door, prompting the younger as he pulls on his shoes, “Go pose prettily, okay?”
“That’s a given, isn’t it?” Donghyuck laughs, grinning, then gives Doyoung a shooing motion as he echoes, “And you go sing prettily!”
“Is that a given?” Doyoung tilts his head with a little grin, waving over his shoulder before stepping out into the hall and heading out. It doesn’t always feel like a given, but if Donghyuck says it is, maybe it is.