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As much as Mydei is proud of his Kremnoan heritage, there are a lot of things he must face. His fears for example. Fear isn't a word that's supposed to exist in the Kremnoan language, and yet, despite this, he'd have to face them sooner or later. Face 𝑡ℎ𝑖𝑠 sooner or later.
The trial comes soon enough when Phainon invites him to see his family in Aedes Elysiae. No issue with that right? Mydei has never had any qualms when it came to the not so often times Phainon spoke about his family.
When Phainon enthusiastically tells him his family lives on the outer islands of the mainland of Okhema, he didn't look up from his computer. Only paused and continued typing, mumbling a soft 'hmm'. When he said they'd have to take a ferry across the river(because driving there will literally take them half a day and why do that when they can traverse there in an hour or two?) he all but sits up straight, fixes Phainon with an incredulous look.
"Is that a problem?" Phainon asks, sitting across from him, the coffee table in front of them. At Mydei's silence Phainon nervously scratches the back of his neck, blush rising to his cheeks. "It's just, I've told them so much about you, and they're eager to meet you. You don't have to say yes if it'll make you uncomfortable. I just-"
"Phainon. I'll go." Mydei says, meeting his gaze. Mydei tries not to let his discomfort show. Of course he'd love to see Phainon's parents. Phainon doesn't talk a lot about his past, but it would be good to see the parents of his amazing boyfriend. Not to mention his hometown.
At those words, Phainon practically beams. As much as he doesn't voice it, Mydei loves seeing his boyfriend happy.
There is only one issue. Maybe a big one. One he hasn't confided in Phainon yet.
Mydei disliked huge bodies of water. Ponds. Rivers. Oceans. You name it. Showers and baths are different in the sense he can't avoid those or else know, It'd be inappropriate to not bathe every day(besides he loves being clean).
But a boat going across a river? The very thought of it makes him shudder, makes him feel like he wants to suffocate.
On any other occasion, there was no way you can not get that man board a boat voluntarily.
It isn't until he meets Phainon- calm, patient, encouraging, and loving- that Mydei slightly drops his guard and takes a chance. It's why Mydei goes out of his way to avoid boats, bridges over huge spans of water, or buildings anywhere near any huge body of water. Maybe it's his fight or flight response kicking in in response to those things. Maybe he's being a bit obsessive.
He doesn't make it known at first in the beginning of their relationship, doesn't volunteer that fear of his to Phainon at first. How was he supposed to?
It's on a Sunday evening when they're waiting on a ferry ride to Phainon's home island. Phainon has been eager, staying close to him practically at the hip all day. Not that Mydei minds. They've been going out for about six months and Phainon is 98-99% sure he is going to wed and marry this man of his dreams. What better way to prove that than to show Mydei off to his family?
They both stand at the terminal waiting for the ferry to arrive. Phainon can't stop smiling.
"It'll be great. You'll definitely love my mother's cooking. And she'll definitely love yours too because doesn't everyone?"
Phainon usually gets very talkative when he gets nervous and/or excited. It's almost cute. Mydei though? As much as he'd love to finally meet the Khaslana's, there's this deep pool of dread in his stomach as he watches the boat dock and the people around them board. He tries not to show it though.
"Yeah, I guess…" Mydei scowls, shouldering his bookbag. Phainon is beside him, waving for Mydei to follow as he's rooted to the spot.
"Cmon. We only have a few minutes before it leaves. The next one isn't for another six hours." Phainon grabs his wrist, walking them towards the gates of the ship.
'There's no such thing as fear in the kremnoan language.' Mydei tells himself. Kremnoans stand up to their fears. Mydei isn't afraid. He can do this. It's just a damn boat.
As he watches Phainon excited and eager that it makes Mydei almost feel guilty- he can't help but think that he doesn't want to ruin this for him. For them.
Mydei bites the bullet, lets Phainon drag him across the small bridge and onto the deck, all the while his pulse in his ears and he can feel his heart beat at the sound of the lapping waves crashing against the boat.
"It should only take an hour or two to get there." Phainon says, walking them to the interior of the deck where people are sitting, chatting, noses stuck to their phones, relaxing. Mydei sighs, tries not to flinch at the sound of the loud horn of the ferry disembarking from the mainland.
How they can be so relaxed Mydei has no idea. He almost envies them.
"Let's sit over here," Phainon points to a window seat in a corner. Mydei stops, gives Phainon a hesitant look.
"No," Mydei says reluctantly, stops in his tracks.
"No?" Phainon says, raising a brow. "Why not? We can get a clear view of the mainland and everything!"
"I'd rather not, Phainon." Mydei says, closing his eyes then looking away. He feels kind of ridiculous about this. They're safe. They're on a boat, away from the deck. There are precautionary measures to ensure everyone's safety if the boat somehow manages to sink(which is rarely).
Phainon walks up to him, cocks his head to the side. There's a long moment of silence before concern grows on his features.
"Are you okay?" Phainon asks, voice softer. He takes note of Mydei's scowl, the way he avoids Phainon's gaze. How flighty he's being.
"No," Mydei admits. They're standing in the middle of the doorway, people giving them annoyed looks as they walk around them.
"Let's sit over there." Mydei says, walking them towards the center of the deck, away from the windows. Phainon follows. Mydei wishes he doesn't have to hear the rushing of the waves and the roaring of the boat as they walk.
When they take their seats, Mydei tries to relax, leans his head back against the wall and closes his eyes. The warmth of Phainon's solid form leaning against him grounds him in a way that's almost soothing.
"Hey, talk to me," Phainon says, nudging his knee against his. Mydei can feel the weight of Phainon's concerned gaze, like a weighed blanket draped over him giving him comfort. He can always be honest with Phainon. Has always been. This should be no different.
"I just," Mydei starts. He opens his eyes to stare at the ceiling of the inner deck. "I don't like water. Huge amounts of it. I find it…overwhelming to be around."
"Oh." Phainon says after awhile. He moves closer, shifts his weight so that his arm reaches over and pulls Mydei closer towards him.
"I…didn't know." Phainon says, softer in his ear. He almost sounds guilty. "I'm sorry- I shouldn't have dragged you on here. Had I known-"
"Hah. Do you know how long it takes to drive to the islands by car? At least 6 hours…"
"…I would've thought of something," Phainon holds him closer. Mydei sighs, leaning more in to Phainon's touch. It's comforting.
"It's okay." Mydei says. Phainon is still giving him that worried look.
"I'll make sure nothing happens to you," Phainon nuzzles into his neck. "I'm confident nothing bad will happen. Even if it did, I'll be right here with you."
They sit there in silence for a little while before Mydei snorts, his shoulders start shaking from laughter.
"What's so funny?" Phainon asks, bewildered.
"What the hell is this, the titanic? Don't get all sappy on me now." Mydei puts a hand over his mouth to stifle his laughs.
"Oh, so now I'm the sappy one?"
"Yes," Mydei says in between controlled laughter. Phainon feins annoyance but realizes he can't be. It's impossible. Not at all time like this. Not at Mydei.
"You love it though." Phainon points out leaning in his space. He moves to kiss Mydei on the cheek.
"Okay, okay." Mydei says, laughter slowly subsiding. He's very picky about where he does pda.
"Nah. I think I should distract you some more."
"Phainon there are people literally sitting opposite us and staring." Mydei groans. Usually he wouldn't give a fuck about what people thought about them. He just doesn't want them to get kicked off the boat for their indecency.
"Let them."
"You're impossible." Mydei tries to move away from another kiss. He loses. Right at that moment, Phainon softly grips his chin and connects their lips in a slow meeting of their lips. He loves the way Phainon kisses him. There's always intent and love and sincerity behind them that Mydei can't help but fall deeper in love. It makes his heart race.
"And you love me for it." Phainon says confidently, staring at him, blue eyes dark. Mydei rolls his eyes. "Yeah whatever."
They stay huddled next to one another, and Mydei slowly dozes off to the soft swaying of the boat in Phainon's embrace. At some point Phainon has taken out his phone, and while Mydei is slowly dozing off, snaps a quick picture. He smiles. He's definitely keeping this.
The captain of the ferry pulls the horn of the ship, the sound ringing long and loud. Mydei blinks awake, sees there are people walking towards the front of the boat.
"Ready?" Phainon asks, standing. Mydei stares at Phainon's offered hand then up to his face.
"Yeah."
When they make their way to the front of the boat and wait for the gates to rise, Phainon takes his hand in his and squeezes lightly.
"Hey, look." Phainon points towards the horizon, the sun setting before their eyes in a orange dusk. There are oranges and purples and yellows dotting the sky, the horizontal canvas using the sky as its background for the many buildings on the islands. Anxiety temporarily forgotten, he stares back at Phainon.
"Beautiful, isn't it?" Phainon pulls him as they walk off the boat.
"It is," Mydei agrees. He takes out his phone to snap a few pictures of the scenery before the sun completely sets. Mydei would not have done this by himself. He's glad he has someone who cares enough to guide him through this fear, especially since what waits on the other side of the islands is totally worth the trip.