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Pain. Blinding, stabbing, overwhelming pain. For a second it's all she can feel, all she can think about. But a second is all she can afford, so Sloane forces her eyes open. She moves her hand over her abdomen, but there's so much blood, and when she tries to apply pressure she finds she's not strong enough.
"Thoirt," she thinks.
"Hold on, dear one, help is coming."
She wonders briefly if this is how Liam and her parents felt. They all knew their deaths were coming, on some level. But Sloane pushes thoughts of her family away. If this really is it, she'll see them soon enough.
Instead she thinks about the living. Of the kind man buried under rules, just so he could try to make sense of the world. The brown eyes that made her feel like the most important person in the world whenever they landed on her across a room. The curls she would card her hands through on the rare nights they got to be together. The bravery it takes to re-learn everything you thought you knew, just so you could be better. She thinks of the letters hidden in the pocket of her rucksack, because she brings them with her wherever she goes. She wishes now that her own letters were different, that she'd been brave enough to put those words in writing, the ones she was working up the courage to say out loud the next time they saw each other.
She's interrupted from her thoughts by the slam of knees on the ground next to her. The movement jostles her body and brings a new wave of pain.
"Shit, Sloane." Ridoc's voice says, he leans over her and his face comes into her vision. It's not the face she wants but she's grateful not to be alone.
Ridoc moves her hands out of the way and applies pressure to the wound, and she can't keep help but shout at how badly it hurts.
"I know," Ridoc says, his normally jovial voice softer and soothing. "I'm going to get you to the mender, okay?"
Sloane knows that she'll pass out in the process of being moved to a dragon, whether from the pain or the blood loss. She needs to get this out while she still can. She needs someone to know. She needs him to know.
She reaches out and grabs Ridoc's uniform. "Dain," She says.
Ridoc leans closer. "What?"
"Dain," she says again, "I need-"
"You need a mender. Did you hit your head?"
"No. I need you to tell Dain that I'm sorry. I need you to look out for him" Her eyes well with tears.
Ridoc's eyes widen for a moment before he looks back down at her with concern. "Hey, no," Ridoc says, "None of that. You can tell him yourself."
Sloane coughs and she knows that there was blood, because Ridoc applies a bit more pressure.
"Tell him I love him," she says.
"Tell him yourself," Ridoc says. He picks her up and her vision blacks out.
"Please," she says to her dragon, "make sure he knows." She loses consciousness before Thoirt can reply.
Ridoc's in the waiting room with his squad, well except for Violet, because she needed to be briefed on the battle. Imogen and Garrick have joined their group as well. All they can do is wait.
Dain and Sloane. Ridoc can't believe he missed that. In his defense, one of his best friends did recently become Duchess of the largest province of Navarre and her husband went full bad guy, so he's been a little preoccupied. He's just grateful there had been a mender stationed here. He shudders to think of what could have happened.
Dain rushes into the room like a windstorm. His eyes are frantic and his hair is a mess, like he's already been tugging on his curls.
"How is she?" he asks. Looking around the room for whoever's in charge.
"She's still unconscious." Rhiannon says.
Dain runs his hands over his face.
"What the hell are you doing here, Aetos?" Garrick asks. Ridoc's eyebrows rise at the harsh tone, but Dain doesn't even acknowledge him.
"Can I see her?" He asks, looking at Rhiannon and Imogen. He doesn't have time for anything other than making sure Sloane is okay. He needs to see her with his own eyes.
"You're not her Wingleader anymore. You don't have to pretend to care." Garrick replies.
Dain turns to Garrick, eyes blazing, "I'm not pretending." His voice is hard. Garrick rolls his eyes. Sloane doesn't have any family, which means that he and Imogen and Bodhi, hell even Violet, they're her family now. Which means it's Garrick's job to protect her, and he might not have been able to keep her safe from venin and wyvern, but he sure as hell can protect her peace from the whiny rule follower who never seems to leave them alone.
"Garrick," Imogen says softly. Sloane might not have said anything, but Imogen isn't blind. She sees how Sloane looks at Dain, and you'd have to be an idiot not to notice that Dain is absolutely wrecked right now.
"She was a bloody mess when they brought her in," Garrick says, and Dain flinches. "She doesn't need to be bothered."
"The healer is doing a quick check, but you can go in after she's done." Ridoc says.
Garrick whips his head to look at Ridoc, "And who put you in charge?" He crosses his arms in front of his chest. Daring Ridoc to challenge his authority.
Ridoc looks him right in the eyes. "Sloane." Garrick looks taken aback, but Ridoc continues, "She was asking for him pretty much as soon as I got to her. She knew it was bad." Dain closes his eyes as the second person mentions just how serious Sloane's injury is.
Ridoc turns his attention from Garrick to Dain, "Her last words before she lost consciousness were for Dain."
"What were they?" Dain asks.
Ridoc shakes his head, "You should hear it from her."
"Ridoc," Dain starts, but the healer walks in before he can continue.
"She's doing okay," the healer says to the group.
"Is she awake?" Imogen asks.
"Not yet, but I think she'll come to soon." she offers a reassuring smile to the group.
"We can see her?" Dain, ever the rule follower, asks for permission.
"Yes, but maybe not all of you at once." She looks around at the large group assembled for Sloane. Baylor, Avalynn, and Lynx, all move to get up, but Ridoc puts a hand out to stop them.
"Dain first," he says, "he's literally the only person Sloane wanted." Lynx nods, but Baylor grumbles. Dain offers a grateful smile to Ridoc, and heads into the room.
An uncomfortable silence has settled into the waiting area; it's too quiet for Garrick.
"Sloane and Aetos," he says incredulously, "How did that happen?"
Ridoc leans back in his chair until the front legs are off the ground and turns to Garrick. "Some people, when they have feelings for someone, they act on them."
Rhiannon snorts.
Imogen kicks Ridoc's chair so the front falls back to the ground. But hey, if he's learned anything today, it's that people should just tell each other how they feel.
She looks so peaceful. That's the first thing Dain thinks when he sees her. They hardly get any time together, and they're in the middle of a war, so everyone's stressed and sleep deprived. But now Sloane's eyes are closed and her breathing is even, and he can almost pretend that she's finally getting some well deserved rest, instead of recovering from major injuries.
He steps closer to the cot and brushes her hair back with his hand. He takes a deep breath.
"I love you," he whispers. "I'm such a coward for not saying it sooner, but I need you to know that I love you. Your determination. Your sense of justice. Your compassion. That streak of life in your eyes. So please, wake up, so I can tell you."
He picks up her hand and gives it a squeeze. He takes a seat in the chair by her cot, but doesn't let go of her hand. He needs the tether to her. He presses a kiss to the top of her hand.
Please be okay. Please be okay. Please be okay. The words repeat in his brain on a loop, even as he can see her breathing with his own eyes.
"She'll be fine." Cath says, there's a hint of irritation in his tone, but Dain ignores that.
"We won't know for certain until she wakes up." Dain replies. He's terrified of getting his heart broken, of losing Sloane before he's even gotten to learn what life with her is truly like.
Dain's not sure how long he sits like that, paralyzed with worry, desperate for hope, and clinging to Sloane's hand willing it to move. It feels like no time at all and forever when the door to the room opens and Dain's terrified he's being kicked out. That Garrick's decided to pull rank, or that Imogen's fed up with waiting.
Ridoc steps into the room with a water skin and a ration bar.
"Violet asked me to give these to you," Ridoc informs him.
Dain nods his head. He's not willing to let go of Sloane's hand right now, and, somehow, Ridoc seems to get this. He sets the items on the table to the side of Dain's chair.
"What did she say?" Dain's voice is rough and he can't bring himself to tear his gaze away from Sloane to even look at Ridoc when he asks.
"I meant it when I said you should hear it from her."
"Please," Dain begs. He looks over at Ridoc now, tears welling in his eyes. "I need to know."
"I think you already do." Ridoc says gently.
Dain looks up at the ceiling, willing himself not to cry.
"I didn't tell her either." Dain says quietly, he's looking down at the ground. "We're in the middle of a war and I was stupid enough not to tell her how I feel."
"She knows, too, Dain."
"You can't know that."
"Just trust me." Ridoc gives Dain's shoulder a squeeze and then walks back out of the room.
It hurts a lot less when Sloane wakes up. She's sore, but she no longer thinks she's dying. She opens her eyes and sees her hand enveloped in a larger one. Dain's staring at the wall. His face looks blank, but Sloane knows him. She knows his brain never shuts off. Knows his mind is probably a storm of worry.
"Hey." She says, and her voice sounds rough to her own ears.
Dain jumps and then turns to Sloane his face lit up with joy at the sight of her, even though Sloane is certain she looks terrible.
"Sloane." Dain says her name like a prayer, like he's in awe. Sloane never used to think she was lucky. Malek's taken too much from her, but right now, looking in Dain's eyes, she thinks she must be blessed by Zihnal because she's the luckiest girl in the world.
"I'm sorry," she says, "I must've scared you." She rubs soothing circles on his hand with her thumb.
"You're okay he says," letting go of her hand to cup her face, "you're awake."
"I love you." Sloane blurts out. Because she can't not say it.
Dain's face breaks out in a smile, "I love you too, gods Sloane, I love you so much, and I should've told you sooner."
She shakes her head, "No, I should've too. I just, I was laying there and I knew before then, that I loved you, but I couldn't believe that there might be a world where you don't know."
He runs his thumb over her cheek. "I've told you before Sloane, you're life. There's no world where I don't love you."
She pulls his hand off of her face and kisses it. Dain leans down and kisses her.
"I love you Sloane," he says again.
Sloane can't help the smile on her face. Dain thinks it might be the best thing he's ever seen.
The healer thinks Sloane will be able to leave before the end of the night, and Dain finally feels the last of the tension leave his shoulders, lets himself fully believe that she'll be okay.
He should probably let the others have a turn seeing Sloane before Imogen or Garrick actually kill him. That's when it occurs to him.
"There's something else you should know."
Sloane's brow furrows, "What?"
"Everyone else knows now…about us."
Sloane laughs, "I mean, I was the one to tell Ridoc. And Ridoc does love to gossip, he told me once it was one of his many talents."
Dain lets out a weak laugh, "Yeah, but Garrick and Imogen, your whole squad knows, and I know you wanted-"
"Good," Sloane says, "I'm glad they know. I'd tell the whole world that your kind heart is mine, and my stubborn one is yours."
Dain smiles at her, and this, Sloane thinks, this is what she wished for when she was too scared to hope.