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My Mind is a Galaxy by bleuvelvet
Fandoms: The Falcon and the Winter Soldier (TV), Thunderbolts (Movie 2025)
02 Apr 2026
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Summary
Bucky Barnes starts his new life as an Avenger, and tries to keep his thoughts away from John and what they'd almost had three years ago.
John Walker just wants to do some good and move on with his life, without the shadow of his past failures haunting him.
Neither of them are completely successful.
Series
- Part 3 of Blame it on the Constellations
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Bookmark Notes:
8/8
SIIIIIIII CARAJO SÍ
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My Mind is a Galaxy by bleuvelvet
winteragent being messy exes—
“Right.” He sighs. “Well, things are a little more complicated than helping stop a terrorist group together while being a dick to him, then breaking his arm.”
Yelena stares at him. “You broke his arm?”
“It wasn't just me,” Bucky says defensively. “Sam was there, too.”
“That doesn’t make it okay. Or better.” Yelena pauses for a second, looking as if she was considering something. “I understand the urge to hit him, but breaking his arm seems a little excessive.”
—
“But, it’s not that simple!” Bucky waves his hands in front of him, like he’s trying to ward off an attack that he knows is coming. As much as they argue, Yelena has always been oddly protective of John. “We got to know each other- I got to know him- and I kind of… fell in love with him,” he admits, turning his face away from her and trying not to blush.
Silence greets his confession. Then, “What?”
Bucky shrugs. “He’s funny- a lot of times without meaning to be, but he’s sharp too- and awkward, he knows his way around power tools, and he’s caring. God, he cares so fucking much. About everything. Protecting people, doing the right thing, what the public thinks of him. He just wanted to help people, but I didn’t want to see that and I pushed him. Tried to make him angry, because I was angry, and when he finally did break, I shoved it in his face, beat him up, and left him on a dirty warehouse floor.”
Yelena stares at him. “Hoo, okay, there is a lot to unpack here.”
A pained laugh escapes Bucky. “I’m aware.”
“And he let you into his house after all that?”
Bucky looks down at his hands again, unaware of the faint smile curving his lips. He’s twisting his fingers together again. This time, he doesn’t stop them. “Yeah. Like I said, he’s a good guy.”
“I know that.” Yelena stares across the short distance at him. “I knew that when he teamed up with his would-be killer to get out of a hole they’d all been sent to die in. He was an asshole, but he did his best to protect us all.” She settles back into the couch again, this time kicking her shoes off and tucking her feet up in front of her. “So, you barge into his home, demand a place to stay, he lets you and you get to know him, and then you sleep with him? Do I have that right?”
—
John looks away as hurt washes over him anew. “What’s the point of this conversation exactly? To point out all the ways I’m not Steve-fucking-Rogers again?” He’s so tired of the comparison, and his temper briefly flares. He’s not Steve. John is well aware of that. He’s not Sam either, and he’s well aware of that, too.
“No!” Bucky strides swiftly around the island, planting himself directly in front of John. “I’m trying to tell you that you got it all wrong, that first time.” He reaches a hand up, but stops just short of actually touching John. “I’m trying to tell you I don’t love you because of the ways you remind me Steve.” He takes a deep breath. “I love you for all the ways you’re not like him at all. I love you for being you,” he says quietly. “It was never about Steve for me. It was always you.”
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