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Beads of sweat started to form in Gao Tu’s forehead. Both his hands were shaking as his eyes were glued on the two pregnancy test kits he’s been holding. It is as clear as daylight— two lines appeared in every kit he had tried since he woke up this morning. His mind was buzzing, ears ringing as he started to feel his stomach churn again.
These past few days, he is always getting a stomachache and he has been feeling nauseous. At first, he thought it was only gastroenteritis or that he had eaten something bad. But now, staring at the red lines, he is clearly at a loss. He cannot even describe what he is feeling right now.
Is he shocked? Definitely yes! Despite clearly remembering what really happened in that one fateful night, he never expected it would turn out like this. Considering the fact that he had been abusing pheromone inhibitors, getting pregnant would be like an unexpected phenomenon. Like, a one in a million chance.
Is he anxious? Well, he is anxious and afraid at the same time. He is afraid that if Wenlang might find out the truth about Gao Tu’s reason for resigning; that if Wenlang find out that he was indeed that ‘Omega’ he had a high compatibility with; that if Wenlang finds out that because of that unfortunate night, an unwanted life— at least for the Alpha— was conceived, he might hurt the baby. Wenlang might hurt Gao Tu and their baby.
But despite all those things, Gao Tu feels this little happiness slowly blossoming inside of him. He feels selfishly and shamefully happy as he places his hand, slowly caressing his stomach. It still felt flat and he could only run his fingers on the crevices of his abdominal muscles but he can feel this tiny, little life that will be depending on him from now on.
This tiny, little life that from now on, will mean the whole world for Gao Tu. He will do everything for this child. He will give everything to him; provide him love and care— something he never got to experience with his debt-drunk father.
“Don’t worry Little One, Papa will always be here for you.” Gao Tu mumbled as he felt a tear wetting his cheeks; realizing he is already crying from all the overwhelming feeling he is experiencing right now.
—
It was already past 9 AM. Gao Tu should have been in Wenlang’s office, serving him his daily white tea— boiled, not seeped to the right temperature. It’s always been like that, everyday, Gao Tu would make Wenlang’s tea and sometimes he also gives him some sweet treats to pair it up with the tea which the Alpha always finds cute.
Wenlang heaved a sigh. If Gao Tu is running late, he always makes sure that he calls or just simply sends a message to the Alpha but this time, no call nor message came; the last one Wenlang received was a ‘Good Night too, President Shen’ as Gao Tu’s reply to his message. Also, Gao Tu did not video call him this early morning to check on Wenlang.
Wenlang phoned the reception outside his office to ask if Secretary Gao had already clocked in but just when he was about to put down the phone, Gao Tu, with his head down, and a clipboard on his left hand, entered the president’s office.
Wenlang’s brows furrowed as his nose met with that familiar smell he despised and oh boy, his mood— already sour because his beloved secretary was late and he was worried about him— worsened. Like, something inside of him suddenly erupted like a volcano; like a ticking time bomb ready to explode and destroy everything; like a typhoon that wanted to wipe out the whole HS Group building.
Gao Tu sensed the Alpha’s sudden mood change— releasing strong pheromones that got the Omega cautious because right now, Gao Tu started not taking inhibitors or suppressants already because it might be detrimental to his baby.
Their baby.
“Gao Tu…” Wenlang called out, his voice colder than usual.
He knew it. Gao Tu already knew that he will receive another earful from Shen Wenlang; that he will be there standing across the president’s table accepting every word, sharp words that will come out of Wenlang’s mouth. Words that despite it cut him deep inside, Gao Tu would gladly let himself be hurt.
But before the Alpha could spew poisonous words at him, Goa Tu hurriedly placed the tea set in front of his boss that took Shen Wenlang’s attention. It immediately extinguishes the invisible fire that is about to happen inside the office as the Alpha starts pouring himself the tea his secretary brewed for him.
He took a glance at Gao Tu and heaved a sigh as he swallowed the words he was supposed to say. Again, Shen Wenlang almost got angry at Gao Tu for no valid reason. The Alpha himself cannot even understand why he always reacts that way when it comes to his secretary.
The white tea Gao Tu brewed miraculously calmed the anger within Shen Wenlang. With just a sip, his mood becomes lighter and the Omega already took notice of it. Still, Gao Tu is having doubts whether to tell him the things he wanted to say to Shen Wenlang.
There was a stretch of silence between them. It was so quiet, so deafening and it felt like Gao Tu was choking. He felt like if he wouldn’t be able to get the things that have been running on his mind, he would drown in it.
“President Shen…” Gao Tu whispered under his breath; hands gripping on the white envelope he had been hiding from Shen Wenlang.
The Alpha was so occupied with his work; reviewing financial reports, marketing proposals and such that he already forgot his secretary was literally standing in front of him, across the table.
“Shen Wenlang…”
And that’s the only time Shen Wenlang’s attention is back to Gao Tu. The Alpha had noticed his secretary had been standing there for too long.
“Why aren’t you seated, Gao Tu?”
He asked, eyes alternatingly looking at Gao Tu and the papers on his desk.
“I…”
There was an evident tone of hesitation in Gao Tu’s voice. Trembling, his palms are starting to feel wet; his heart beating so loud he can almost hear it and his throat starting to burn.
“Gao Tu, are you not feeling okay?”
The Alpha’s question got him back from the spirals of question in his mind. Can he do it? Can he hand the resignation letter to Shen Wenlang? Does he have the courage to say ‘My Omega is pregnant. I need to take care of him.’ to the Alpha, just like how he practiced saying it a thousand times last night in front of the mirror?
Does he have the courage to leave Shen Wenlang?
He doesn’t have it. He doesn’t have any courage to leave Shen Wenlang. But must; he needed to. Gao tu, even though he doesn’t want to, must leave his Alpha. For the sake of his unborn child. For the sake of their unborn child.
Gao Tu took a deep breath. Okay, he can do this. Don’t let the nerves get you Gao Tu. Just say the words you’ve been practicing. It’ll be okay.
Silently, Gao Tu placed the envelope in front of Shen Wenlang. The Alpha raised an eyebrow, questioning the presence of the piece of paper on his table but at the same time, opening and started reading it. His eyebrows furrowed as he read intensely what was inside the envelope. Gao Tu on the other hand, is so ready on his feet to walk away.
“Why?” is what Wenlang just said while placing down the paper.
Now it’s time for you to say your alibi, Gao Tu said to himself, swallowing that invisible lump in his throat. He can do this. He can definitely say it.
My Omega is pregnant. As simple as that.
“I’m pregnant.”
No.
Shit.
He messed up.
“What?” Shen Wenlang reacted, his voice sounded icy.
“What did you just say?! Pregnant?! You, Gao Tu, pregnant?! Are you playing pranks on me right now?!”
Shen Wenlang roared and Gao Tu swore that it was the loudest he had heard since he started working under him. The Omega is used to the Alpha’s outburst but not this one. He was obviously startled, taken aback that he didn’t even notice himself taking a few steps back; hands, no, his body started shaking out of fear.
“I-I…”
Gao Tu tried to speak but nothing was coming out of his mouth. He messed up. He fucking messed up and now he feel like he unintentionally and unwillingly bared himself in front of the Alpha. He is starting to feel distressed, afraid and he just wanted to run away. Run away from Shen Wenlang right now.
But he wanted answers. Shen Wenlang wanted answers right now. Pregnant? Him? But Gao Tu is a Beta. How can he get pregnant? Or did he mean the Omega he’s living with got pregnant? Either way, Shen Wenlang clearly wants answers as to why Gao Tu needed to resign. After years of working as his secretary, with all the salary and benefits, why would Gao Tu suddenly want to resign?
If Gao Tu’s really pregnant, that means he’s an Omega and not a Beta. But why can’t he smell his pheromones? All throughout those years, why can’t Wenlang get even just a whiff of Gao Tu’s pheromones? Inhibitors and scent blockers. Those must be it. Gao tu must be using those things throughout the years. But if he’s been using those since the day he got to know Shen Wenlang— and the Alpha, not even smelling his pheromones— that means, he had been taking big dosages? That means, Gao Tu has been abusing and risking his health all along.
Then, suddenly, a familiar sage scent hit Shen Wenlang’s nose. He looked at Gao Tu and worried immediately. The Omega is now as pale as a ghost; his breathing ragged; his body trembling as he tries to find something to get hold on to just not to collapse in front of the company president.
“Gao Tu?”
Shen Wenlang walked around his table and towards Gao Tu. He wanted to squeeze answers out of him right now. Hell, Shen Wenlang wanted to get angry at Gao Tu, not because of him pretending to be a Beta through the years, but him abusing his body with those inhibitors and scent blockers.
“No.” Gao Tu said weakly as he took steps away from the Alpha. He cannot afford Shen Wenlang to smell his scent right now. He cannot afford Shen Wenlang to realize that he is indeed that Omega that he got to spend the night with at X Hotel.
“You’re not okay Gao Tu.” he said with so much worry in his voice. Damn, Gao Tu is not really okay right now.
“I-I’m fin—”
“You are not fucking fine for fuck’s sake Gao Tu!”
And a sudden wave of the Alpha’s pheromone bursts inside that office. Unintentionally and without any control of his emotions, Shen Wenlang carelessly let his pheromones out. He then only realizes what he had done when Gao Tu got a hold on his chest; clenching it tightly, gasping for air as tears started to fall from his eyes.
“W-Wenlang… Stop… P-Please… Your pherom—”
But before Gao Tu could even finish what he was saying, everything went into a spiral as his vision started to blur and the only thing he could hear was Wenlang’s voice fading in the background.
—
“He’s an Omega.”
“Who?”
“Gao Tu. Gao Tu is an Omega, Hua Yong. He isn’t a Beta.”
After what Wenlang had said, the other line went silent. Well, who wouldn’t be?
“Hua Yong, what should—”
“Took you a while to notice Gao Tu is an Omega.” Hua Yong said on the other line, making the Alpha confused.
“You knew all along?”
Wenlang was about to burst into another angry episode but realizes he’s not alone in the room. Gao Tu is also there, resting, in the hospital bed, with an IV line on his hand. And Shen Wenlang could only heave a sigh out of dismay.
“Shen Wenlang, I’m an Enigma. My senses are way more superior than S-class Alphas like you.”
“Then why didn’t you tell me?” the Alpha asked in frustration.
“For what? To sabotage Secretary Gao’s career?”
Shen Wenlang squeezed shut his eyes. It felt like his head was gonna split in seconds because of everything that is happening right now.
“Now, what are you gonna do Wenlang? You hate Omegas right? So, are you gonna fire him?
Fire? Fire Gao Tu? No, he wouldn’t do that. Why would he fire Gao Tu? Especially right now that he’s pregnant and he clearly needs to prepare for the child’s needs.
“He’s pregnant.” Wenlang swallowed hard. The other person on the line just hummed. “Gao Tu is pregnant and he wants to resign.”
“Did you agree?” Hua Yong asked as if he didn't know what his friend would answer.
“Of course not. If he were to resign, how can he prepare for his child’s needs? For pre-natal appointments with his doctor and other things?”
“Wenlang, why would Gao Tu need to worry about that if he has an Alpha who is going to take care of him, right?”
And it felt like Shen Wenlang was hit by a truck by the sudden realization. Gao Tu is an Omega; a pregnant Omega. Of course he has an Alpha.
Gao Tu has an Alpha?
The thought of Gao Tu having his own Alpha made Shen Wenlang incredibly jealous. The mere thought of Gao Tu smiling, laughing and holding hands with other Alpha made Shen Wenlang burn with jealousy. And if indeed Gao Tu already has an Alpha mate, what would Shen Wenlang do?
“I hope you’re not thinking something crazy, Shen Wenlang. Knowing you, I know you would do things for your secretary.”
After that, the line went dead. Wenlang was there, in the middle of the hospital room— hand gripping tightly on his phone— staring at the sleeping figure right in front of him.
“Gao Tu…” he said under his breath. “You don’t have an Alpha, right?”
But who is he to fool himself? Gao Tu clearly has an Alpha because how could he get pregnant in the first place if he doesn’t have an Alpha. And that fucking idea, no, fact, is someting Shen Wenlang doesn’t want to accept and believe right now.
He had known Gao Tu for so many years. They go way back in high school. They were classmates; not friends nor enemies but Shen Wenlang indeed had many memories of him. No. Shen Wenlang’s high school memories only consist of Gao Tu. The paper plane, the lemonade, the snacks Gao Tu secretly puts on Shen Wenlang’s table. The number of times Shen Wenlang goes back and forth to the convenience store even though he doesn’t buy anything in there just because he wanted to see Gao Tu; just because he wanted to make sure that he is okay.
Shen Wenlang carefully sat beside sleeping Gao Tu. He still doesn’t look okay. He’s so pale and now that he got a closer look, Shen Wenlang realizes that Gao Tu already had lost some weight. He looks so fragile that the Alpha hesitates to touch his hand because what if he suddenly breaks? What if he hurts him?
“A-Lang…”
It was faint, almost inaudible but Shen Wenlang heard it.
“Tu? Gao Tu? Are you, are you okay?” Shen Wenlang asked frantically, secretly wiping the tears lingering on the rim of his eyes.
“I’m sorry…” Gao Tu said weakly; his voice shaking and almost on the point of breaking.
He never wanted to lie. He never wanted to lie to Shen Wenlang. But he needed to do it. He needed to lie about him being an Omega because he needed to survive.
“I’m sorry I lied.” Gao Tu added.
He tried to get up but he is too weak. Realizing he is lying on the hospital bed, it only made Gao Tu feel worse about himself. He already lied to his boss and now he is making Shen Wenlang worry; taking his time that is supposed to be for the company.
“You can get mad at me, Shen Wenlang. Not like this that you are qui—”
“Where’s your Alpha?” Shen Wenlang asked. He needed to know about Gao Tu’s Alpha. He needed to know if that fucking Alpha can and is able to take care of Gao Tu and his child.
“I cannot tell…”
“Why? Is he someone I knew? Gao Tu, please tell me. I need to know.” He needs to know. Shen Wenlang is dying to know.
Gao Tu pursed his lips. Now that he is in this tight situation, he cannot run away from Shen Wenlang anymore. His original plan to resign and never to show his face again to the Alpha has immensely failed.
If he tells him the truth and about the thing that happened in the X Hotel; if he tells Shen Wenlang that he was the Omega that night; if he tells Shen Wenlang that he is the Alpha that got him pregnant, what would happen?
“Gao Tu…”
The Omega shifted his gaze to Shen Wenlang when he felt the Alpha’s grip on him tighten. All this time, he didn’t notice that the Alpha had been holding his hand; his thumb brushing lightly on the back of his hand, softly comforting him. Shen Wenlang is all doing this while he is looking at Gao Tu with so much worry and care and it’s all confusing to the Omega because he knows Shen Wenlang hates Omegas and he also hates children.
“It’s okay if you won’t tell me right now. I won’t ask anymore. But please I need to know if he takes good care of you. Or if he has a stable job or income to take care of you and your child. I need to know, please, Tutu.”
Hearing Shen Wenlang saying those things; asking him those questions pricked Gao Tu’s heart. And now, he’s starting to doubt himself if what he’s doing is right or wrong.
“If he cannot take good care of you, then let me.”
What? Is he hearing it right?
“Please, Gao Tu, let me take care of you and your child.”
Gao Tu clearly heard what Shen Wenlang had said. He heard it, loud and clear. And it made him feel guiltier because right now, the Alpha is already begging in front of him. Begging Gao Tu to allow him to take care of him and his unborn child. Shen Wenlang is ready to risk it all for the Omega and for the child— who is his child actually— despite the fact that he believes Gao Tu already has an Alpha.
“But you hate Omegas.” Gao Tu said, his eyes trying to find any disgust on Shen Wenlang’s face but failed tremendously because right now, he only sees an Alpha who is so ready to take responsibility for everything.
“Not you Gao Tu. I can never hate you. You know that.” Shen Wenlang fired back.
“You hate kids.”
“I don’t hate kids, Tu.” Shen Wenlang just hated the fact that he cannot have kids with Gao Tu because he was a Beta until he found out that he was indeed an Omega.
“But you said it yourself. You don’t want ki—”
“I don’t want kids if they aren’t from you.”
Gao Tu was lost for words. He wanted to say something but closed his mouth immediately. And it’s so funny how he wanted to slap himself just to make sure he isn’t dreaming right now because why is Shen Wenlang suddenly acting like this?
Like what Gao Tu? Like what you wanted him to be? Right?
Shen Wenlang sounded like he is so ready to take on the role of Gao Tu’s Alpha which is ironic because indeed he is the Omega’s Alpha. Shen Wenlang is so ready to be a father to Gao Tu’s child. Their child to be exact and right now, the Omega just realized that there is one more thing he needed to tell or admit to Shen Wenlang. And if after he tells him the truth and the Alpha will get angry at him, Gao Tu will fully accept the consequences.
“Wenlang…” Gao Tu called out.
“Yes?”
Oh Shen Wenlang is so attentive. He is so ready for whatever Gao Tu was about to say.
“That night at the X Hotel. The Omega you spent the night with.”
“Yes, what about it, Tu? Why are you suddenly bringing that up?”
Gao Tu gripped on the sheet and closed his eyes. It is now or never. If after this, Shen Wenlang will fully lose his trust on Gao Tu then he won’t blame anyone but himself because he had lied. If Shen Wenlang gets angry, then Gao Tu is willing to take every word that will come out of the Alpha’s mouth. If after this, Shen Wenlang will say he won’t take responsibility for the child, then Gao Tu will accept it.
“Wenlang, I’m sorry I lied to you.”
“Gao Tu, what do you me—”
“It was me. That Omega at X Hotel, that was me.”
And Gao Tu felt as if his world crumbled when he felt Wenlang’s warm hands slowly leave him. He felt as if his heart was pulled out of his chest when he felt the bed move; the Alpha rising from his seat and walking towards the door.
He knew it. He fucking knew it. He definitely expected this kind of outcome. But why does it hurt so bad? Why does it hurt so much? It hurt so much to the point that Gao Tu’s hands started trembling as tears started to fall from his eyes. It hurts so much it felt like he was stabbed by a thousand knives— twisting and opening wounds endlessly.
Now, he has lost the only person he had loved. And it was entirely his fault why it happened.
“I’m so sorry…” Gao Tu repeats in between sobs. “I’m so sorry A-Lang. I’m so sorry.”
“Tutu…”
Gao Tu immediately raised his head only to meet with Shen Wenlang eye to eye. He’s here. He didn’t leave. Shen Wenlang is here.
“Wenlang…”
And Gao Tu’s sobs got louder and louder as he cried while Shen Wenlang was caging him in his arms. He’s here. Shen Wenlang is here. His Alpha is here and he is comforting him right now. He is in his Alpha’s arms right now.
“There, there…” Shen Wenlang said as he started caressing Gao Tu’s back, trying to comfort the distressed Omega in his arms.
He never meant to make Gao Tu cry. It is just, after hearing what the Omega has confessed to him, he didn’t know what to do. He actually doesn't know what to feel because honestly, as much as he wanted to really get mad at Gao Tu for keeping the identity of the Omega at the X Hotel, he cannot. He really cannot get mad at Gao Tu.
“I’m so sorry A-Lang. I-I lied to you. I’m sor—”
“Shh… it’s okay now. It’s okay now TuTu. I’m not angry so please stop crying now. You don’t want our baby to get stressed, right?”
And that got the Omega instantly stopped crying as he realized he was clutching on to the Alpha so he awkwardly removed his hands anchored on Shen Wenlang’s waist. The Alpha, noticing the gesture, softly cupped Gao Tu’s cheeks and gently wiped the tears in his eyes.
“Good boy.” the Alpha remarked.
“Y-You’re not really mad?” Gao Tu asked and even if he asked Wenlang again and again, the answer would always be the same.
“I should get mad, right? But the funny thing is, I can’t Tutu. I cannot really get mad at you. I cannot even understand why I cannot get mad despite all the lies. Maybe because I know in myself that you really don’t have any choice but to do it. You didn’t lie just because you wanted to. You lied because you needed to and those are two different things Tutu. And I will say it again, I’m not mad. If you were to ask what I feel right now, I actually feel happy. I don’t know. Maybe it’s because I’m going to have my own family with the person I love.”
After saying all those things that well left the Omega speechless and dumbfounded, Shen Wenlang felt like something was lifted off of him. It was the same for Gao Tu. Every worry, doubt and unwanted thoughts were immediately washed away. And it was as if the two of them could finally breathe. It was as if after being under the deep waters of their unanswered, unreciprocated feelings for each other, they finally got to see the surface; got to see the light and got to be able to feel the fresh air surrounding them.
“Wenlang…” Gao Tu broke the silence as he looked at Shen Wenlang, eyes all puffy but he still looked so cute for the Alpha.
“Hmm?”
“Are you sure you—”
And the Alpha just elicited a hearty laugh because of how persistent his Omega.
“Hey, don’t laug—”
But the next thing Gao Tu felt was a pair of soft lips on his and Shen Wenlang pulling their bodies closer together as they shared a kiss. A warm, sweet and tender kiss.
“I love you, Tutu.”