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"It's been a long time since we meet, hasn't it?" An elderly woman with honey white hair was smiling gently at Nathan.
The wind was blowing harshly against Nathan as he nodded blanking. Well, that was what it looked like from the outside.
Nathan has never been good at expressing his emotions, but Hellem always seems to know. Knowing him since he was just a child it seems reasonable.
"Hold on!!!" From behind them there was heavy footsteps and heavy panting.
A man with dark hair was panting while grinning to them both. "Well, it looks like you and grandmother haven't changed at all."
"And it looks like you haven't broken your habit of being late. Especially to your lord's death anniversary." Hellem said with great disappointment to Mick.
Despite her disappointment in her voice, she looked very relief that he was doing okay after many years of not seeing each other.
"Hey now, I already feel bad for being a few minutes late, don't push the knife deeper." Mick rubbed his head awkwardly while looking away from Hellem eyes obviously feeling guilty.
Nathan was watching all of this happening from the sidelines. Nathan couldn't help but feel nostalgia from this. He has truly missed the times when they were together. But one person was missing, but he was no longer with them anymore.
"Well, no matter, shall we go Nathan?" Hellem said gently to Nathan very differently from the tone she used on Mick.
Nathan nodded at her before his thoughts could catch up to him. The three of them walk up a hill to a lonely gravesite. The emperor never put Kishiar's body with the royal family.
Even in death it seems like the emperor, Katchian, wanted to have one more win on Kishiar. Even though Kishiar has been very submissive with Yudrein Aile taking his place and even in the end, his death.
Yudrein Alie. A name he has knew but didn't. A man he never trusted especially when it came to Kishiar. But his lord seems to have all his trust in Yudrein.
Nathan could never understand Kishiar and his feelings towards Yudrein. Nathan has always seen Yudrein as dangerous and very ill-tempered man.
The multiple complaints from the Cavalry members just seem to confirm that. His lord, though, never gave Yudrein a grave punishment for the fights he caused in the Calvary.
He had never agreed with Kishiar about anything related to Yudrein. He could never understand Kishiar. What did he see in Yudrein?
Nathan could admit that Yudrein had great improvement since he first entered the Cavalry. Proven by the sudden request of a spare by Yuder.
Nathan agreed since he saw no point in declining. This would be his greatest fault in agreeing.
In the next moment, the once concealed sword aura was coming out of his wooden sword. Surprising himself and Yudrein.
The memory of Yudrein barley dodging before the sword aura could hit him still linger in Nathan mind. For one to dodge a sword master attack, they must be talented.
Nathan still feels the embarrassment about the accident. When telling Kishiar about the accident, Nathan expecting punishment, was surprised to see his lord laughter.
'Yuder has greatly improved. Such an interesting person.' Seeing Kishiar smile and laughter was a surprise for Nathan. He doesn't smile as often as before, but Yuder always seems to make him smile one way or another.
But then Kishiar proposed a question to him.
'In the future could you defeat Yuder Alie?'
It was a silly question not to be taken seriously, but it made Nathan think. Before he would have said yes immediately but now...? Could Nathan defeat Yuder? Nathan never meant to unleash his sword aura but something about one of Yuder attacks made him feel like he was in danger.
Yuder Aile has improve greatly, too greatly for Nathan comfort.
He was always on high alert since that accident. Never trusting Yuder for a second.
The sound of Hellem and Mick talking broke Nathan out of his thoughts as they got closer to the gravesite.
Upon arriving, they seem not to be the only ones to visit Kishiar.
There with a white commander uniform stood Yudrein Aile.
Nathan stood there surprised. He had never once seen Yudrein come to see Kishiar on his anniversary death. It's been 4 years since Kishiar died. So, it's been 4 years since he last saw Yudrein.
He had grown a little taller since he last saw him. His hair has grown out at the back of his head. There was a scar on his neck that wasn't there before.
And...
His face. He seems more mature. He had eyebags that weren't there before.
He finally turned around feeling eyes on him.
When their eyes met it was like seeing a new person that wasn't there before. But Nathan couldn't say he knew Yudrein confidently before he became commander.
Yudrein stood awkwardly looking at Nathan and then to Hellem and Mick.
Mick, not understanding the very obvious awkward atmosphere, was trying to make light conversation with Yudrein.
"Hello there! Are you here to visit also?"
"..."
"Ah..not much of a talker?"
Yudrein without answering Mick, was already walking past the group.
Nathan and Yudrein eyes never left each other as Yudrein walk past Nathan. Nathan slowly turns to see Yudrein back slowly disappearing from view.
Nathan heart was racing.
He thought Yudrein would be violent to them, especially to himself. But..it's been far too long, he realized. It's been four years since they last met.
In those four years, Nathan could feel and see that Yudrein has matured. More than Nathan could have ever imagined. It felt so weird to see such an ill-tempered man turn into such a cold one.
He thought Yudrein would at least have some questions about Kishiar. Why did Kishiar leave without saying anything to him? Why did Kishiar accept his fate by his hands? Why didn't he fight back for his position as commander?
Nathan could answer them but at the same time not. Kishiar never fully gave him a good answer to his actions. Nathan could only guess on what he knows about Kishiar. You could say Nathan didn't understand his lord as much as he wanted to.
Even if Nathan served him since they were both young. He couldn't help but feel like Kishiar was always hiding his emotions from Nathan. But Nathan knew Kishiar always had a reason for everything he did.
Kishiar has always been smart. Nathan knows that. So, when Kishiar gave the command not to disturb Yudrein after his own death. He couldn't understand.
Why be so accepting to an assassination plan? Why be so accepting to be killed by your own lover?
Nathan knew about their complicated relationship ever since walking into the nightmare of that office when their heats align. Even if he didn't walk into them, working besides Kishiar, it was obvious that Kishiar had fallen for Yuder.
But it seems like Yuder had no clue to this emotion.
"Wow, such a ray of sunshine." Mick said sarcastically, obviously not liking being ignored.
Mick voice finally woke up Nathan from his thoughts.
Feeling like he was being stared at, Nathan looked around to see Hellem staring right at him.
"Hmm..you seem to know each other, Nathan. Care to explain?"
It seems like Hellem is as observant as ever.
"That was Yudrein Alie."
Mick jaw dropped as Hellem looked unsurprised at the information.
"Huh...So the feeling was right. Such a handsome face, it looks like me and Kishiar have the same interest." Hellem half joking said.
"Grandmother this isn't the time for jokes." Mick let out a sigh.
"Who is joking? Certainly not me."
Mick rolled his eyes before looking back at where Yudrein was once at. "So that's what he looks like. I wish we didn't have to meet in this circumstance. Ah, that was awkward.”
Nathan had to agree, he never wish to meet Yudrein again after his lord death, but it seems like fate had its own plans.
"Well, anyways I think we have more important things to do. Like visiting our lord."
Mick confidently walked inside the graveyard while walking past unknown nobles, forever forgotten history. His steps stopped at a single grave.
"Kishiar la Orr. Loving son and brother."
The wind dramatically rushes past them as they stare at the grave. It wasn't like they didn't know about the plan assassination attack.
Kishiar told them straight on, that he was content with being killed by Yudrein.
Despite the disagreement of some members in Peletta, Kishiar stayed firm with his decision.
Being killed by Yudrein was at least a less painful death than a painful death by exploding. Maybe it was for the greater good that he got killed by him.
If only they had more time.
If they had more time, maybe Nathan could have figured out how to cure Kishiar.
If only Kishiar didn't get hit by the red stone, he would have more time.
Nathan regrets not being there when Kishiar was investigated the red stone. He could have done something.
Anything.
Before anyone could say anything, Hellem put down pure white poppies on Kishiar grave.
"His highness would not like to see us moping over his death. He is a very straight forward man to his goals. Let's not think about what we could have done and instead celebrate how much Kishiar has done for us."
Hellem smiled at the gravestone while Mick let out a sigh.
"Yeah, you're right. He would really hate to see us moping like this. So...after this let's go out drinking...?" Mick unashamedly said as Nathan and Hellem look unimpressed by the statement.
"What with those expressions?? You know Kishiar would be very delighted to see us having a good time drinking together."
"You really need to fix that drinking problem. You are going to die before me and I'm an old woman."
"IT IS NOT THAT BAD."
"Who are you raising your voice like that too?"
As Nathan blocked out their voices, he looks at Kishiar grave with deep thoughts.
When Kishiar died, he didn't know what to do with himself. Of course, he still stays in Peletta to help around. That was his home despite it not being his birthplace.
Nathan was always grateful to Kishiar. For everything. He was lucky to even catch Kishiar interest. Kishiar taught him everything, to reading, to writing and even how to wield a sword.
His whole life was devoted to Kishiar word. His orders. No matter how absurd it is.
So, when Kishiar last order was not to blame himself for what he was about to do.
Nathan couldn't help but have mixed emotions.
To not blame himself for not convincing Kishiar to not get killed by Yudrein.
To not blame himself for not convincing Kishiar to not step down from his commander's position.
Kishiar last commander was the hardest to achieve.
But maybe he said that to Nathan so that Nathan can live on.
For another reason, to live on.
Suddenly an arm was wrapped around Nathan neck."Hey Nathan, don't you agree we should go out and drink after this?"
"Don't listen to his stupid mouth Nathan. He is speaking nonsense."
Nathan unexpectedly nodded his head. "Yeah, let's go."
Hellem and Mick were flabbergasted at Nathan answer. Before Mick burst out laughing.
"Well, it is 2 vs 1 grandma. Looks like I win."
Hellem side eye Mick before sighing. "Yes, I suppose so. But you are paying. Me and Nathan are not paying whatsoever."
"Of course, what a great gentleman like me would ever want others to pay."
"That one time where you ran out of the bar where you left me and his highness-"
"OKAY OKAY. Let's just go.." Mick said grumpily at being called out by Hellem.
Nathan felt himself smiling a bit at Mick and Hellem nonsense.
Maybe now, it was finally time to let go.