Chapter Text
Fireflies danced on the horizon as Jay and Tim pulled into the motel parking lot, gravel churning under the wheels of the car until it slowed and stopped. 9:52 PM, a normal person's bed time. Not for them though. Their routine was swift, as if it had been practiced a hundred times before- Tim takes a shower, Jay starts his editing, then Jay takes his shower around 12 while Tim … does whatever Tim does. Jay wasn’t sure what it would be that night. Sometimes he reads, sometimes he falls asleep before Jay finishes his shower, sometimes Jay’s too wrapped up in his own mind he can’t even note what Tim is doing.
Tonight was different though, as Jay stepped out from the passengers side. He made it to the motel room door, stopped just outside of it, and turned around, realizing he hadn’t heard Tim's steps behind him. Jay just watched as Tim settled against the trunk of the car, lighting a cigarette between his lips. Jay blinked, debating on joining him, before settling on it. He sauntered over, feet dragging on the loose gravel, joining Tim on his left side.
“You don’t have to wait for me.” Tim said, taking a drag. Jay just hummed, stuffing his hands in his jacket pocket. He felt crumbs and a curled up receipt in the cloth, he needed to do laundry.
The two just stood in silence, the only sound breaking it was the occasional car whirring past, or Tim's smoky breaths. Sometimes, a dry smokers cough, (though, Jay's hair stood on end each time, the cough being a calling card for the faceless creature. A warning that things were about to go wrong. But then again, when did things ever go right?).
“It’s a pretty night.” Jay said absent mindedly, watching the lightning bugs dance across the long, unmowed grass that cut off the parking lot. One here, one there. “Reminds me of summer break, back when I was a kid.”
Tim flicked his cigarette, ash falling from the glowing end. “Oh yeah?” Tim turned to him slightly.
Jay nodded, a breathy laugh leaving his throat. “Yeah, me and my siblings would run around the back yard trying to catch them.” He recalled it the best he could, but it was now foggy and distant. His stomach ached with the broken memory, nostalgia seeping into him. A time he could never go back to, childhood innocence died in that yard.
“My sister would sometimes catch them and put them in jars. Y’know, the kind with the holes in the top with a stick and a leaf.”
Tim nodded, “Yeah I’m familiar. They never lasted long.”
“Yeah, I feel bad about it now.” Jay began to fiddle with the crumpled receipt, eyes mesmerized by the fireflies dance. “We’d always be surprised that they died. None of us were the sharpest tools in the shed.”
Tim shrugged, “Well you guys were also young, so I mean.”
Jay thought for a second, stilling any movement he once made. “Yeah. Guess we didn’t really understand… life back then. Or death I guess.”
And they didn’t until the family dog. That was the day that Jay understood death, his mother had tried to wrap it up neatly as “going to sleep”, but Jay was too inquisitive for that. Eventually, his mother caved, and he found out what death really was. Something cold, unforgiving, permanent. Something that just takes, something that hurts. A looking threat, a shadow that never leaves. A sickening promise.
Jay continued to watch the fireflies, until Tim stubbed his cigarette out. “Ready for bed?” He asked, blowing the final remnants of smoke out.
Jay let out a small hum, “I think I’m gonna stay out here for a while. I don’t want to go back in yet.”
He expected Tim to leave him alone outside, but Tim didn’t move. A warm feeling swamped through Jay, his organs squeezing with fluttery feelings. It felt nice to share a space with someone. To know that they wouldn’t leave. There was safety in numbers, that must be why Tim stayed with him. It’s not like Jay was a riveting person to be around. Still, he appreciated his companions' company, small talk passing through the air breezily. Talking about nothing. Talking about everything.
They watched the fireflies until they disappeared into the grass.