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Steve put on a fake smile as he saw the familiar expression on his date's face as she saw him. Excited grin falling into a frown, eyes turning wide. The whole are-you-joking expression he had become bitterly used to. He watched as she turned to her friend, glaring at her. He couldn’t hear her words, but knew it was along the lines of, “Really? You get Bucky Barnes and I’m stuck with this pale, scrawny twig? I did not agree to this!”
Steve Rogers had heard it a hundred times before.
“Stevie? Whatcha lookin’ at- oh, they’re here!” Bucky grinned excitedly and ran towards the two girls, throwing an arm around each girl’s shoulder, pretending to be completely oblivious to their previous dilemma. The brunette who was Steve’s date tried her best to fake a smile, but Steve saw right through it. Years of this had gotten him accustomed to spotting them. Still, he smiled and waited as the two walked over with his best friend. He watched as Bucky murmured in his date’s ear, no doubt flirting.
“Annabel, Marilyn, this here’s Steve,” Bucky said, grinning widely as they approached him. “Steve, these are Annabel and Marilyn.” He removed his arm from Marilyn and gently nudged her towards Steve. She barely moved at first, trying to drag her heels along the ground as much as she could before giving up and letting herself be pushed over. She gave Steve what he supposed was supposed to be a smile, but it was more of a grimace. Still, he politely greeted her and Annabel, who gave him a real smile. Probably because she wasn’t the one who was on a date with him.
“Alright, what do you girls wanna do first? We can play some games, go on the coasters, the Wonder Wheel, whaddya think, huh?” Bucky said, flashing them a charming smile. He and Annabel walked down the path, arm-in-arm, Steve and Marilyn following closely behind. ‘Course, Marilyn made sure to stay at least an arm’s length away from him.
“Ooh, I like the idea of games! You wanna play one of them shooting games for me, Bucky?”
“‘Course, I could! Hey, Steve, how about you try to beat me?” Bucky suggested, grinning widely, trying to lift Steve’s spirits. While these double dates always failed, Steve had to give his best friend some credit for keeping a good attitude through all of them.
Steve wanted to say, no, we both know you'd beat me by a mile. What he did say was, “Yeah, sure, I’m up for beating your stupid ass.” It was worth it to see Bucky’s smile light up.
They headed over to the game booth, and they each slapped down some change and grabbed one of the “guns.” The bell rang, signaling it was time to start, and both the men leapt into action. Bucky, of course, was doing far better than Steve, due to his lack of depth perception, hand-eye coordination, and… well, his everything, really. At least, Bucky never let Steve win, though, because that would be a bigger blow to his dignity than anything else.
The man at the booth chuckled when their time was up, giving Steve a look up and down. He shook his head and tossed Bucky a big ol’ teddy bear, who happily handed it to Annabel, who looked like she was about ready to faint. Marilyn just gave Steve a withering glare, and Steve clenched his jaw, looking down at the ground.
After a few moments, he felt a hand clap on his shoulder, and he would have startled if he weren’t so used to the action. He looked up at Bucky, who gave him a reassuring smile. Of course, Bucky noticed every little action Steve did, every stupid emotion flicker on his face. Steve just put on another false smile, not going unnoticed by Bucky. He frowned only for a moment before catching the girls look over at them.
“Come on, girls, let’s go find some more games to play, I’m sure Stevie can beat me at something.”
Turns out, that something didn’t come for nearly two hours. And what was that something? A goddamn shell game. Of course, Steve Rogers couldn’t beat Bucky Barnes at anything requiring any sort of physical skill, but he could beat him at remembering which cup a ping-pong ball is under.
It was something, so he gave Marilyn the small stuffed dolphin he’d won. You know, to compete with the many balloons, stuffed animals, and other prizes that Bucky had won Annabel. She quickly snatched it from his hands and didn’t even bother to hide her glare anymore. “Can we do something else now? Like go on the rides or to the beach?”
“Marilyn!” The girl looked over to Annabel, crossing her arms. Annabel continued in a hushed voice, grabbing Marilyn’s hair and tugging her to the side, “Don’t be rude!”
“But look at him!”
“Oh, for the love of God, stop being so shallow!”
“Please, that’s easy for you to say! Look who you’ve got, while I’m stuck with-”
“Is there a problem, ladies?” Bucky quickly interrupted, glancing carefully at Steve, who was starting to wish he was being beaten up in a back alley than be on this date. Bucky had been looking forward to this date so much, but of course Steve was ruining it. He always did.
“No, we’re great! Right, Marilyn?” Annabel said, her teeth clenched, her arm wrapped around her friend’s far too tightly.
“Yeah, we’re fine,” Marilyn grumbled, stomping towards Steve.
“Come on, I bet you’re just hungry. We could go grab some hot dogs over at Nathan’s, then we could go down to the beach, and save the rides for later. We could go on the ferris wheel at sunset!”
“That sounds amazing!” Annabel said excitedly. She smiled politely towards Steve and gave Marilyn a small glare.
Marilyn sighed before putting on another false smile. “Of course. Come on, Steve, let’s go.” She grabbed his hand in a death grip and began tugging him along. His eyes widened and he quickly turned back and tried to give Bucky an apologetic glance. He quickly hurried his footsteps and tried to keep up with his date.
Ten minutes later, they were all sitting at a table outside. Steve sat across from Bucky, and the girls sat across from each other. Bucky was now flirting with both the girls, while Steve tried and failed to keep the toppings of his hot dog from spilling all over himself. He narrowly avoided mustard falling onto his lap, quickly shifting over before it could stain his pants. He glanced up to see if the girls had seen, but they were (luckily) completely absorbed in whatever Bucky was saying. Bucky, however, had an amused glint in his eye that let Steve know he’d seen. Steve felt his cheeks heat up and he glanced down at his lap.
“Hey, Steve, remember that time you got a rise out of Mr. Nicholl in ninth grade?” Steve grinned, the first real one all afternoon, and nodded as Bucky continued. “He was talking about some English thing, who knows at this point. Apostrophes, soliloquies, shit like that, and Stevie was drawing, like he always does when he’s bored, and Mr. Nicholl comes up behind him and he’s like, ‘What’s that you got there, Rogers?’ And it’s, it’s a damn-” Bucky cuts himself off with his own laughter. Steve’s grin widened, having completely forgotten about the instance, but loving the fact that Bucky seemed to remember every detail. Bucky tried again, “He’s gone and drawn a big cartoon version of Mr. Nicholl holding a skull like he’s in some Shakespeare play, and Stevie’s drawn him with his head all blown up, adding extra detail to those three hairs on Nicholl’s head, and Nicholl turned so red! His jaw went all stiff and he rubbed his head with his hand like he did when he was trying to calm down, like he had any hair to comb his fingers through, and he’s just shouting at Steve like there’s no tomorrow. Stevie’s just sitting there silent, ‘cause he knows the drawing’s accurate as hell, but he’s not gonna say that, so he just let himself be shouted at and took the detention with his head held high. Didn’t stop him from drawing Nicholl with steam blowin’ out of his ears, though. It was the funniest thing I’d seen all year, I nearly started cryin’ tears.”
Bucky was laughing the whole time, and for the first time, Steve saw Marilyn look at him in a way that wasn’t complete disgust. He gave Bucky a grateful smile, but as modest as he was, he mumbled, “Wasn’t nearly as good as the time you started sassing Mrs. Walters across the road.”
“Nah, Stevie, that didn’t compare to any of your shit. Half the time you’re not even trying to piss them off. You're just doing whatever you wanna do.” There was something almost admiring in Bucky’s tone, and it made Steve grin sheepishly.
“It gets me in loads of trouble, though,” Steve shrugs, but he couldn’t wipe the grin off his face.
“Oh, no, Steve Rogers, how dare you save girls from guys they’re not interested in? How dare you? Real troublemaker, you are, sure,” Bucky teased. Marilyn straightened up in her chair even more and began to look at Steve with actual interest. Steve gave Bucky an appreciative smile. Bucky just smirked, nodded, and lightly kicked Steve’s shin under the table.
Unfortunately, this brief haven of something bordering on acceptance or toleration did not last long. Not when they decided to go down to the beach and go for a short little swim.
Because once Bucky’s shirt was off, the girls did not stop staring.
Neither of them, of course, batted an eye when Steve removed his shirt and stepped into the water. (It was summer, so he didn’t have to worry about catching a cold.) (Probably.) The girls giggled and joked with Bucky, while Steve just stood to the side, wading through the water.
Bucky, of course, because he would always be Steve’s best friend, tried to get Marilyn to talk to Steve, but she just shook her head and smiled sweetly towards the taller (and fitter) man. (This obviously pissed Annabel off, but Marilyn clearly didn’t care.)
Steve had decidedly given up after about twenty minutes. This double date was just another failure. A success for Bucky, of course, because when wasn’t it? Steve was a hopeless case, though, so he just began wading back to shore.
“Hey, Stevie, where you going?” Because of course Bucky would notice.
Steve turned around and waved him off, trying to wipe any sign of distress from his countenance. “S’nothing. The water’s just a little cold, s’all. I’m just gonna take a little break,” he said, smiling apologetically.
Bucky nodded, but Steve could see he was a bit suspicious. But being Bucky, he just gracefully juggled the girls’ attention while Steve more-or-less trudged to their things. He shrugged his shirt back on, ignoring the grains of sand that fell down his back.
He watched as both the girls giggled, even his own date, at whatever Bucky was saying. Steve couldn't really blame anyone, though. Bucky was trying his best to help Steve out, but who would want to date Steve Rogers if he's standing next to Bucky Barnes?
Steve curled his knees to his chest before changing his mind, instead extending his legs out and leaning back across the towel. The warm rays of the sun helped him relax. He let his eyes flutter shut and let out a deep breath. His muscles slowly unraveled themselves and he let himself think about other things.
He thought about drawing on the fire escape, warm rays beaming down. He thought about snuggling up to his best friend in the winter when he could feel yet another cold coming on. He thought about the stray kitten they’d found the week before. They’d cleaned the poor thing before bringing her to a shelter for safety. Both he and Bucky had found her adorable, but they both knew that they couldn’t keep her, not when they already had to pay far too much for Steve’s medical expenses.
He wondered what it would be like if they could have kept her. Surely his sketches of random strangers from the streets below their apartment and Bucky in various poses would change to the ball of fur. She was small and grey, her eyes a light green with a hint of hazel. He could imagine her cuddling on his lap while he drew. He could imagine Bucky playing with her, dangling a string and swinging it around whenever the cat came near.
He sighed. The scenario was much better than the reality. In reality, Steve was stuck on bedrest half his life and the other half he was trying to scrape as much money as he could so he could feel like he wasn’t leeching off Bucky. And then Bucky tried to think of things where they could have fun, go on dates, go to bars, but Steve only dragged them down, whether it was because he got into a fight or people just didn’t like him.
Really, he didn’t care that much about the dates anyways. Sure, it sort of stung when the girls only gave him grimaces and instead hung onto Bucky, but it wasn’t exactly like he was dying to be dating. Steve wasn’t aching to have a girl to call his own (not that she would belong to him; that would be objectifying, but you get the point). Sure, it might be nice to be with someone someday, but he didn’t care too much.
Bucky, though, seemed like he wanted everything to go so well, and that was really what made him feel bad about the situation. If it wasn’t for Steve, this date would be going fantastically. Every other date would have gone great, too, because it sure as hell wasn’t Bucky screwing them up.
“No, Annabel, I don’t care! I get that you like him and I want to help you, but please! How is it possibly fair that you get him and I get- him?”
Steve peeked an eye open, going unnoticed as the girls continued to bicker.
“Marilyn, you know I’ve been waiting for this for weeks, can’t you just-?”
“No! I’m sorry, Annie, I really am, but no. I hate this.” Steve couldn’t say he was surprised, but he still felt guilty. Speaking of which- there comes Bucky.
“Is there a problem?” he asked, even though Steve knew that he knew exactly what was going on. It had only happened a hundred times before.
“No-” Annabel started, but Marilyn cut her off.
“Yes. Look, I’m sorry, Bucky, but I’m just not interested in your friend. I’m going to go,” she said, throwing both Annabel and Steve a pointed look. Steve’s shoulders sagged.
“Well, that’s a real shame,” Bucky said, and Steve could tell by his posture and expression he was growing tired of this, and it only made the guilt build up further. “I’m sorry you haven’t had a good time. Let’s just call it a day, then?”
“Bucky-” Annabel argued, but he waved his hand.
“It’s fine, it’s fine. We can try another time, right?” he said, smiling sweetly, and she slowly nodded, though reluctantly.
“Alright,” she said. She glanced between him and Steve. “I hope you boys have a lovely day.” She then turned around and joined Marilyn, walking away, but not before lightly hitting the other girl.
Slowly, Steve rose to his feet sheepishly once the girls had left. He let his gaze move away from them and towards Bucky, who was frowning and looking at him. Deflating, Steve sighed. “Buck, I’m sorry,” he said, looking at the ground. “I didn’t mean to ruin everything again.”
Bucky’s frown deepened as he quickly shook his head, stepping towards Steve. “Stevie, you didn’t ruin anything. If anything, that girl Mary did.”
“Marilyn.”
“Doesn’t matter! She was rude, doesn’t deserve you. I’m sorry I keep setting you up people like that, ‘m a lousy wingman.”
“Bucky-”
Bucky interrupted him by placing a hand on his shoulder and looking him in the eyes. “I’m serious, Steve, you didn’t ruin anything. You’re fine. Besides,” he said, cracking a grin, and then Steve found his shoulders tucked under Bucky's right arm. “We don’t need the girls to have fun. Now come on, I’m ready to go on the Cyclone.”
Steve and Bucky were all giggles as the taller one helped keep the smaller upright. His head was spinning quite a bit, and he was honestly surprised he hadn’t thrown up at all. Steve loved the roller coaster, even if he hadn’t gotten to go on it many times, but it definitely made him feel a bit nauseous every time he rode it. He had vomited before, and he quickly realized not to eat right before going on ever again.
“You okay, Stevie?” Bucky asked, grinning widely as he supported his best friend’s weight.
Steve smiled and nodded, trying to keep his balance. “I’m fine, I’m fine.” Slowly, Bucky released his grip and Steve was able to step forward on his own again. Once he did, he giggled once more. “God, that never gets old.”
“And you didn’t blow chunks this time,” Bucky helpfully supplied.
Steve shook his head and rolled his eyes. “One time,” he muttered.
“One’s more than zero, my friend,” Bucky said, smirking.
Steve sighed and shoved his shoulder into him, and Bucky’s feet hardly moved off-course.
Bucky let out a quick cackle before, “What do you wanna do next, then? Assuming it’s not blowing chunks, I mean.”
“Buck.”
“Okay, okay, I’m sorry, I’m done,” Bucky giggled, throwing his arm around his friend’s shoulder again. At Steve’s unbelieving glare, his mouth dropped open. “I promise!” Steve rolled his eyes, and Bucky continued again, “Seriously, though, what do you want to do? Go on the carousel again?”
Steve raised an eyebrow. “Right. That mother was giving you death glares, Bucky.”
“Look, s’not my fault the little girl didn’t reach the pink pony before I did, Rogers,” Bucky said, and Steve couldn’t help but laugh.
“You’re horrible,” he said, but there was a glint in his eyes that betrayed his words. “But really, I think the Wonder Wheel.”
There was a slight shift in Bucky’s arm as he said, “You sure? The air’s kinda thin up there.”
“Bucky, please, I’ll be fine. It’s a ferris wheel, not Mount Everest,” Steve said, raising his eyebrows at his friend. Bucky sighed reluctantly and tightened his grip around Steve.
“Yeah, okay. Wonder Wheel it is,” Bucky said and steered them towards the ride.
Minutes later, they found themselves climbing on, and Steve couldn’t help the grin on his face. They didn’t get to go to Coney Island often, and he’d never actually gone on the ferris wheel before. He couldn’t wait. He would get a spectacular view that he would probably never get tired of drawing. The crowds of people below, the ocean, the sky. It would be even better if the sun setting but it was four in the afternoon. Still, Steve knew the view would be stunning.
Beside him, Bucky shook his head while smiling. “You’re thinking about drawing it, aren’t you?” Bucky said as they slowly began to rise, the door shut next to them.
A grin formed on Steve’s lips and he glanced at Bucky sheepishly. “I- yeah.”
Bucky’s smile grew wider and he shook his head again. “You haven’t even seen it!” he said, and knocked his shoulder against Steve, jostling the smaller man. Steve simply shrugged, unable to hide his smile.
“But I know it’s going to be amazing. The sky looks incredible right now,” he said, slipping his hands into his pockets, craning his neck to look at it. I could draw that and the beach, or I could draw the crowd around the Cyclone… maybe I could even paint it! I’ll have to see what I’ve got, I don’t have many paints left, but maybe I could. If I can’t, I could just use pencils. Paints just have better color, though. Oh, wow…”
He was left speechless as they rose higher into the air. There was a bit of a rush in his body caused by being up high, but it felt good more than anything. And Christ, everything looked amazing. He could see the top of the carousel spinning and everyone running around. There were kids chasing each other with candy in their hands and there were families bustling around to every game and ride. Teenage couples with each other on the beach and crowds shuffling by the Cyclone and the carousel. He’d never seen a place so full of life.
He grinned and turned towards Bucky, who was silently staring at the ground with his mouth hanging open. His fingers were curling around the metal grid of the carriage as he blinked owlishly at everything below them. Steve smiled as Bucky’s gaze rose to the sky, where the clouds were drifting through a brilliant blue. It was absolutely beautiful and Steve was glad his best friend was appreciating it.
This was so much better than the date was. It was better than any of the good dates were, not that there were many of those. There was no worry to impress anyone, there was no worry about dealing with glares and snide comments… It was just Steve and Bucky, and well, that was just better than pretty much anything.
Looking at the distant waves, Steve thought.
He thought about his fight with David Seward last week. He was a neighbor in his and Bucky's building, and Steve had come across him harassing a teenage boy for money. He had immediately taken action, of course, and thrown a punch to Jacob's fat nose. Jacob had immediately punched Steve back, giving him an instant black eye. The teenager got away and Steve was quickly on the ground. He fought and kicked, landing another punch on the man’s nose, but he was definitely being battered. But then Bucky came around the corner and came forward. He quickly punched Jacob in the face and kicked him in the groin. Jacob fell to the ground with a whimper. “Pick on somebody your own size,” Bucky had said, before rushing Steve home to make sure he was okay.
He thought about a few months ago, when he’d had a ghastly case of the stomach flu. He'd been keeled over the toilet bowl for three days. Bucky had brought him cup after cup of water, even taking the second day off work. Steve felt horrible, from both the vomiting and causing Bucky to miss work. “You kidding me?” Bucky had said. “I needed a break from loading Ms. Schvinsky’s shelves anyway.” Steve had then proceeded to throw up, groaning. As he retched, Bucky soothingly rubbed circles on his spine, telling him he’d feel better soon, he’d be okay.
He thought about just the other day in their apartment. Steve had been lying on his stomach, sketching Bucky as he was listening to the radio. Bucky had a peaceful expression, and it was one of Steve's favorite looks on him. Not worrying about money, about Steve’s health. Just calmness and a small smile. It was the perfect kind of moment.
Bucky was just so… good. Times with him were better than any other, even if he worried too much when Steve was sick or moved too much when Steve was drawing him. Steve never had to worry about being alone when Bucky was around. With Bucky, he always had his friend, his best friend, his family, his home.
Smiling contently, Steve pulled his gaze away from the glistening water. “Hey, Buck,” he said, his voice quiet as he turned to look at his home. He couldn't wipe the grin off his face at the way Bucky's mouth hung open and his grey eyes sparkled.
Bucky slowly pulled his head back up, his jaw closing shut as he kept his gaze on the ground. Gradually, he tore away and finally looked at Steve. His eyebrows were raised in question, his eyes were wide, and his lips were upturned and so close.
Whatever Steve was going to say, it was gone now. A quiet gasp escaped his lips as his eyes connected with Bucky’s. They both looked at each other for a moment, neither knowing what to say. Suddenly, the view below them didn't even compare to this one.
Bucky blinked owlishly again, his smile slipping as they stared. His lips parted as his eyes quickly glanced over Steve’s lips. His best friend’s name escaped from his mouth in a whisper. “Stevie?”
Steve let in a sudden intake of breath, subconsciously licking his lips. He couldn’t exhale, the air building up inside him, his chest swelling up and his shoulders rising. He swallowed, noticing that Bucky’s eyes followed the motion before flickering back up to Steve’s. Slowly, too slowly, painfully slowly, Bucky’s hand rose to cup Steve’s jaw. Steve could hear him take in a breath as he tilted his head forward.
Carefully and gradually, Steve leaned forward and slotted his lips in between his best friend’s.
It didn’t last long, but it felt amazing. It was warm and soft, and Steve’s fingers quickly met Bucky’s, curling around each other. Bucky’s eyelashes brushed against his cheek and Steve squeezed Bucky’s hand. He leaned towards him, applying more pressure to his lips. Steve breathed in Bucky’s warmth as he closed his eyes, basking in the brilliance of the moment.
Reluctantly, Steve pulled away, Bucky’s lips following his for a moment. When they parted, Bucky opened his eyes, which glinted with a fond sparkle. His face broke out into a grin and soon Steve found his forehead leaning against Bucky’s as they breathed in each other’s air. “What was that?” Bucky whispered, his voice filled with awe and disbelief.
Steve glanced down at the floor of the carriage sheepishly. “I just-”
His chin was drawn up by Bucky’s hooked finger as he was forced to meet Bucky’s eyes, his face flushing red. Bucky’s thumb rubbed along Steve’s jaw, and his hand that was intertwined with Steve’s squeezed tightly. Bucky’s eyes were warm as he smiled, and Steve soon found his own lips curling up to mirror Bucky’s. His noisy breathlessness filled the air between them as Bucky leaned their foreheads together again.
“What are we doing, Stevie?” Bucky whispered. His smile didn’t quite leave his face, but confusion was clear in his countenance.
Steve smiled, albeit sadly. A year ago, he wouldn’t have thought he’d been in love. Hell, this morning, he hadn’t thought he was in love. But he’d been in love ever since Bucky Barnes had saved his ass in Hell’s Kitchen when they were thirteen. “You’re my home, Buck,” he whispered, his voice cracking with the words.
Bucky was silent for a moment, just sitting there and processing those few words. Steve didn’t dare breathe, only staring and gauging Bucky’s reaction to his confession. After a few moments, Steve dropped his gaze to the ground, avoiding Bucky’s stare.
But then his lips were covered with Bucky’s again. He quickly leaned forward into Bucky, shutting his eyes, letting out a breath into Bucky’s mouth. His best friend took this as an opportunity and deepened the kiss, pressing harder and encasing Steve’s lips in his own. His hand that isn’t wrapped around Steve’s tangled itself in the blond’s hair, pulling him closer. Steve didn’t resist, leaning into Bucky and opening his mouth to invite him in. Bucky accepted the invitation and slipped his tongue in. It’s warm and Steve melted in the safety of his home
They parted as the carriage began to move again, and Bucky rubbed his thumb across Steve’s hand. “You know you’ve always been my home, Stevie,” he said, pressing a kiss to Steve’s cheek, beneath his right eye. “You always have.” He paused, gripping Steve’s hand tighter. He looked down at the ground for a moment, then, “I love you so much, you know? Just whenever I’m with you, I feel so...”
“Warm,” Steve finished, and Bucky looked at him with adoration.
“Yeah,” he whispered, leaning in again. “Exactly.”
“I love you,” Steve murmured, before meeting Bucky’s lips once more.