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Their fingers hovered over the chat button. They were sweating, and certainly a dark shade of red in the face. It shouldn't have been this hard. It really shouldn't have been this hard, it was only a text message to somebody they talked to every day, after all, but it was hard to convince themselves that when that certain somebody was their crush. Sighing with one last stare at the profile, they threw their phone away to whatever dark spot of their room and screamed into their pillow. It was only going to be one question about the movie they were going to go to, why did they have to be such a pussy about it? It wasn’t like Susie wouldn’t want to talk to them, or anything.
In fact, it had to be the opposite. They didn’t even have to bring it up for Susie to ask how she could talk to them other than face-to-face, giving them her Deltagram account. She even changed the chat theme to the one with a bunch of hearts before they even got to say anything to her! Anybody else (anybody that didn’t have a crush on her, maybe) would’ve taken it as a sign to start a conversation. But well, they’ve never been one to fit in with the group.
They groaned and reached out to click their bedside lamp open. Light reached their eyes, causing them to squint them as they searched around their room for any signs of their phone that they previously threw. They had to admit; they were much more talented at this than Susie was. It didn’t take them a minute to find Noelle’s phone on the day Susie threw it out of panic when they were over at Noelle’s house to ‘search for clues’.
A wave of nausea hit their body when they picked the phone up with shaky hands and clicked Susie’s profile back again. Her profile picture was a pretty plain picture of herself taken from a weird angle. They thought she was pretty anyways, but they would really appreciate if she changed her background music to something that wasn’t a song that sounded like it was produced by Lancer.
you: hey
you: srry r u awake
This was all just a bad mistake. They subconsciously brought a hand up to cover their mouth.
susiezilla is typing…
susiezilla: yes
susiezilla: whats up
With that message, it was as if all the thoughts in their brain had been erased. Their brother was right on that night when he rambled about Dess to them, after all. Loving somebody really did make you stupid.
you: i was just wondering if you wanted to see the dragon blazers movie adaptation w me
you: its coming out this february
susiezilla: they made a movie adaptation????????
susiezilla: thats messed up man. it ruins the entire point.
They curled their fingers, biting their nails. It was hard not to giggle at that.
you: y’know who ur rlly starting to sound like rn
you: the literature teacher w her animes
susiezilla: SHUT UP
susiezilla: ill kill u
susiezilla: well maybe not kill but ill like.. bite off your hair yknow.
susiezilla: yeah.
susiezilla: anyways its really good that i made this account
Kris froze.
you: oh
you: i thought u didnt like deltagram because ‘its filled with 30 year old religious idiots that think they’ll get to heaven by posting on a stupid app about the angel every sunday’
you: ur words not mine
susiezilla: my opinion on it didn’t change but its nice being able to talk to u like this lol
susiezilla: we could talk all night and i wouldnt get tired
susiezilla: maybe physically i would tho n you’d have to carry me around classes tomorrow
They knew they were blushing now. They always hated that they had to be alone in their room now that Azzy was away for college, but if he was here right now, he’d tease them all week for how their face looked like.
you: no ur too heavy
you: youd crush me
you: i thought u didnt wanna do that anymore susie
you: i feel betrayed
susiezilla is typing…
susiezilla: heh
susiezilla: you know im stronger than you
susiezilla: so that probably would happen. sorry not sorry. but it wont be happening bc youll fall asleep on the first 15 minutes anyways
susiezilla: just like u did on the sleepover
you: hey thats cheating
you: i was tired from the dark world
you: besides u were half asleep too so dont even
They couldn’t help but snicker, kicking their feet. What were they even doing..?
susiezilla: whatever dumbass
susiezilla: whateveeeer where will we see the movie
susiezilla: they dont have a theater here right
you: i was thinking about going to a mall
you: theres one at the city like 30 minutes away from hometown mom can take us if i ask her
susiezilla: oh
susiezilla: i dont wanna bother your mom dude shes probably busy. she is a teacher
susiezilla: lets js pirate it
you: susie its fine its literally semester break
you: besides i dont wanna get a virus on my brothers computer he’ll be so mad when he comes back
susiezilla: 👍🏻
susiezilla is typing…
…
susiezilla is typing…
…
They sighed. Would this be an appropriate time to say it? Maybe, just maybe, in one possibility, they’d be able to go to that movie as a couple. They’d go on the 14th, get the couples deal popcorn package, if they just had the courage.
They could also not be able to ever see each other again. Susie would probably hate them, and she’d avoid their path. That too, was if they just had the courage.
you: there’s smth ive been meaning to tell u though
They locked their phone, covering their face until they heard the ring of a notification.
susiezilla: i’m listening
Their hands were sweaty and shaky as they typed out the text. It was gross.
you: do you wanna be my
She was going to hate them. Who wouldn’t? Who did they think they were to be worthy of her? They groaned, erasing back the letters.
you: how will we get in if the movie is r rated lol
susiezilla: thats what u were worried about??
susiezilla: dude just leave it to me
you: thanks susie
you: goodnight
They ignored the typing pop up, and the several notifications ringing in their ear after they pushed the phone under their pillow. The sound of their own sobs would soon cover it up.