Work Text:
Coffee is a daily part of most people's lives. Originating in Ethiopia, the popular morning beverage has become an undeniable part of culture for many countries. French, Colombian, Indian. All people throughout the world have their own take on the caffeine-based elixir. And, as times change as they do, more and more modern additives find their way into the common relaxant that is coffee. Hell, I myself am drinking a cup of coffee right now that is the global importance of this beverage.
Now, regardless of what kind of coffee you have, what kind of roast you have, flavorings and other products have evolved to conform coffee into a drink meant for anyone. Starbucks, for crying out loud, is an international chain that sells more sugar and cream than actual coffee. Of course, the best coffee is black coffee. Unless you're weak. Except for mochas. I can respect mochas.
Steam fogged up Angela's reading glasses as she brought her mug to her face, taking a long sip of relief as she read over the speech. Earlier, when she had been pouring her third cup of morning coffee and really just minding her own business, her beautiful goddess of a wife had remarked, "I don't understand how you can drink that stuff. It's not very good." Well. Mercy's beautifully crafted powerpoint presentation was going to change that, the day be damned.
A quick tap on the save button and the doctor carried her laptop out to the living room, where Fareeha and her daughter were waiting. Not for the presentation, for brownies. She had promised them brownies. It slowly became evident to the two that there were no brownies to be had as set down her computer, hooking it up to the television and turning it on. Hana was the first to speak up.
".....Where are the brownies you promised?"
"Well." Angela turned to face the two as she opened the power point and a large cup of coffee appeared on screen. "Actually, you don't need to be here. The brownies were a lie. I lied to you. This is just for your mother. I'll make brownies after dinner." D.va was crestfallen. "I'll put cream cheese in them."
".......Better be worth it." Hana mumbled as she got off the couch, still dressed in her pink onesie pajamas and dragging her turnip of a stuffed animal behind her as she went back upstairs. Pharah raised her hand.
"I don't want to be here either."
"Ja, but i love you and I can't bare to see my loved ones not see such a simple truth." Angela pulled a laser pointer from her pocket, using it to gesture at some thick text on the screen. 'Coffee is good and you should like it.'
"......How long is this going to take?" Fareeha shifted on the couch, grabbing a pillow in an attempt to get comfortable for the long haul.
"Approximately six hours." Mercy pushed up her glasses, making her look like a college professor, sporting the proper mixture of authority and lethargicness and all.
"Huh. You cut back this time."
"Ja, I am very considerate. Anyway. We will begin with the history of coffee. Originating in Ethiopia, the popular morning beverage has beblahblah blah blahblah blah blah." This went on for at least an hour.
"You see, mochas can technically be black coffee with hot chocolate mix poured into it, although that is referred to as the 'prolonged hikers' mocha. And-" Angela stopped in the middle of her sentence, interrupted as Fareeha walked from the kitchen back to the sofa, holding a steaming cup of tea. "....You left? When did you leave? Is that tea?"
Pharah shrugged, blowing on the boiling liquid. "A while ago. I got thirsty. Keep going."
"......" Mercy switched to the next slide in her power point, gesturing wildly with her laser pointer. "Coffee, okay?! That's the point here. Look." The doctor rapidly clicked through several more slides, all of which were just blown up pictures of coffee beans before arriving at another slide of text.
"Reasons coffee is better than tea. Number one."
"Babe." Fareeha set her teacup on the armrest, crossing her legs. "I think you have an addiction."
Mercy pursed her lips as she looked back and forth between her wife and her eighty slide presentation. "Do not." Pharah raised an unconvinced eyebrow.
"Really? Then prove it. No coffee for the rest of the day."
".....I don't think we need to do that. Please, sweetheart. I can't believe you think I have a problem." Angela chuckled, shaking her head before taking a sip of one of the many cups of coffee she had brought along for the presentation. Half of them were empty.
"Then." Fareeha grunted as she got up off the couch, taking one of the mugs and walking to the kitchen sink. "This shouldn't be a problem." Visible beads of sweat appeared on Angela's face as Pharah tipped the mug, the barrier of water tension nearly bursting as the liquid bulged on the rim. The security guard looked at her wife, who was trying not to look as panicked as she was, and gave the cup a slight jostle, just enough for a few drops of coffee to splash into the sink.
"S-sweetheart! You're wasting good food! I. Uh. Please stop." Fareeha continued to drip the brew down the drain, unrelenting. "Sweetheart. I'm telling you to stop. C'mon. For me."
"I am doing this for you. Just a simple test." Fareeha gave the mug a quick tip, a swig's worth of coffee splashing into the sink as Angela twitched, trying to steel herself.
"Mein hund, I will tie you up under my desk for a whole day. Stop this right now."
"Sorry, babe." Fareeha shrugged, dismissing the perverted thoughts as she focused on what was important. "Any other time I would love that, but." The mug was tipped yet again, sending half the contents into the void. Angela shrieked and dove into the kitchen, grabbing the cup and ripping it away from its assailant. "I think you have a problem that needs addressing." Ziegler whimpered, crouched in the corner with both hands tightly wrapped around her precious.
"Alright. First hour without caffeine starting....now." Fareeha clicked a button on her stopwatch, both her and Hana standing in the doorway of Hana's room as Angela sat in the middle of a pile of bean bags and stuffed animals.
"Why are you doing this? And why Hana's room?"
"Closest thing to a padded cell we got." Fareeha shrugged as she slowly closed the door, locking a padlock on the doorknob followed by a chair, just for good measure. Hana held her laptop in her arms, grinning like a dick.
"I set up the surveillance feed like you asked me to. Let's sit and watch. This is gonna be some top tier comedy."
"You should be more concerned about your mother.” Fareeha would never say she agreed on the comedy aspect, but she totally did. the two sat themselves in the hallout outside the door, watching a full color camera feed from Hana's room. The gremlin popped open a bag of Doritos she had brought from inside.
"Want some?"
The first half hour went by pretty smoothly, Angela just knocking on the door, saying they're overreacting, threatening not to make brownies, how she shouldn't have to put up with this bullshit. It was almost enough to make Hana convinced. "Uh, mom? Are you sure she has a problem? She seems pretty okay to me. Maybe we should let her out."
Fareeha shooked her head. "I'm sure. Just wait for it."
Angela looked around Hana's room, resigning herself to being stuck here. The posters on the walls were pretty nice, at least. Covered with the visages of melee professionals and counter-strike teams, it gave off a homely feeling. And the stuffed animals were pretty soft, too. Not a bad scenario.
"Who am I kidding." Angela mumbled to herself as she laid back on a pink bean bag, scratching her arm uncomfortably. "This is hell." She glanced around the room, the piles of garbage here and there. Surely her daughter drank coffee every now and again. Maybe a coffee-flavored energy drink. Her mini-fridge looked enticing.
"Is she going into my fridge?! She can't do that!"
"Do you have anything in there?"
"Just my mix tape." Hana made a over-the-top hand gesture. "Cause it's fire."
"That's not how fridges work." Fareeha crushed her daughter's joke flatly.
"...No. There's nothing in there. Sometimes I use it to cool my CPU when it overheats."
Angela groaned as she fell back into a pile of blankets. The fridge had been a bust. All the other snacks in the room had seemed to have been removed. The doctor stared up at the ceiling, plastered with pictures of indie games and pokemon.
"How does she get them up there? She's so short." Mercy scratched her neck, an anxious feeling making her unable to sit still. "....Fuck, I really could use a cup."
Fareeha glanced at the stopwatch. Two hours.
"Um." Hana stopped eating chips with a sudden look of concern. "What if she has to use the restroom?"
"She went before. And it's not like we're giving her any coffee so she shouldn't have to go anytime soon" Pharah was interrupted by some loud pounding on the door behind her. The laptop showed Angela leaning against the door.
"Sweetheart?! Sweetheart, let me out. Could you just- Could I just get a cup of coffee? Half a cup. Half a cup would be fine."
"Sorry. babe!" Fareeha called over her shoulder. "I'm helping you. Just try not to break the door down!"
"Help me?!" The camera showed the doctor sliding down against the door, holding her knees. "This is insane. This is illegal. You're breaking geneva conventions here." Hana couldn't help but laugh. "Hana? Darling? You're out there too, right? You've been saying you need to get a new water cooling system, right?! It's yours. Get me out of here."
"You will not." Pharah looked at her daughter sternly. Hana rolled her eyes.
"Don't worry, I already got one. One of the perks of being a celebrity."
".....Both my daughter and my wife are super rich what am I doing with my life." The ex-military desk jockey of a security guard mumbled to herself. "Anyway! Good. Thanks."
"OI" The door banged. "LET ME OUT, I'M DYING in HERE!"
"I'll let you out if you let me throw all the coffee in the dumpster."
A few more hours later and Fareeha unlocked the door, finding Mercy curled up in a corner. She brought her a shock blanket and a cup of tea before bringing her back downstairs to the couch. "How do you feel."
"...Better with coffee." Angela took a long sip of the drink, not nearly as refreshing as a cup of joe.
"That's fine. Acknowledging your addiction is half the battle. Just drink your tea."
".....Can I get a cup of coffee?"
"What's wrong with tea?"
Angela grumbled into her mug. "This is why coffee people are better than tea people. Coffee people would never lock you in a room for hours."
"But they would tie you up and blindfold you."
" Completely different."
The day went on, dinner passed, and Angela eventually got down to making those brownies. Except she used espresso instead of the required two cups of water.
“Here, Sweetheart~. Brownies are done~” The doctor stood proudly in front of her wife; sitting on the couch.
“Oh, sweet, thank you.” Fareeha took one off the plate Angela was holding, popping it into her mouth without a second thought. She gagged. “JEsus..WhaT?”
“Have another.” Mercy stared at her spouse with a deadly gleam in her eyes. “They’re specially for you.”
Fareeha trembled on the couch for the next three hours, shaking from her force-fed coffee high. Angela sat next to her, grinning as she nibbled on one of the brownies herself. “A daily part of life~”
