Work Text:
“Matsuda-kun?” Ryouko asked from her place in the disheveled hospital bed, “Do you ever think about love?”
Yasuke answered with a long, drawn out sigh and a lazy glance up from the shoujo manga he was reading, “What kind of stupid question is that?”
“Well,” Ryouko blushed slightly, “I think about falling in love all the time. I just wondered what you thought about it.”
“First of all, there’s no way you’d be able to tell that you thought about falling in love because everything in that pathetic brain of yours comes out fifteen seconds after you learn it. Second of all, my thoughts are none of your business.”
Ryouko seemed to get defensive, “I know I think about love!” she declared, “I know because I feel it in here,” she placed both her hands over her heart.
Yasuke snorted, “You don’t know anything that hasn’t been told to you.”
Ryouko glared at him, but it was gone in a second, “I know what I feel when I look at someone I love. So are you going to answer my question?”
“Do you even remember your question, you stupid girl?”
“I do. It was ‘do you think about love?’” she said, looking proud that she had recalled it, “So do you?”
Yasuke opened his mouth, but an alarm on his desk blared and he rolled his computer chair over to his desk to turn it off.
“Your hour’s up. Leave.” Yasuke said bluntly.
“But--” Ryouko protested.
“I have other appointments. We’ll continue this conversation tomorrow, if you remember to bring it up.” he jabbed.
“But, Matsuda-kun--”
“You have ten seconds to leave or I will have someone remove you, you dirty slob.”
Ryouko was on her feet in a second, “I-I-I’m not dirty!”
“But you’re a slob? Great. Now go.” Yasuke made the shoo motion with his hands. Ryouko huffed and stomped out, most likely going to forget this entire encounter in about twenty minutes.
Once she was gone, annoyingly leaving the office/infirmary room door opened a bit, Yasuke had only minutes to prepare for his next appointment. He quickly fixed the bed and took a seat back in his swivel chair right before the door squealed the rest of the way open.
In the doorway, Super High School Level Hope, Izuru Kamukura, stood looking as unamused as ever. Aside from a blank stare, today, he was wearing his school uniform, which was surprising.
“You actually went to class today.” Yasuke said as more of a statement than a question.
“Yes. My brain and body are both capable of being in a classroom environment.” Izuru closed the door and took a seat on the bed.
Yasuke set his manga aside on the desk by his alarm and shook the computer mouse. The computer screen lit up.
“How was it?” he typed in his passcode quickly and began looking through his computer files.
“Boring. I’ve already mastered the skills the instructor was teaching my class today. The others acted as if what she was saying was hard to master.”
Yasuke pulled up Izuru’s charts in one of the many files on his computer, “Which subject?”
“Trigonometry.”
“Ah.” Yasuke tapped his foot impatiently as Izuru’s information loaded on his screen slowly.
“Yes… You know, I think I may enjoy going to class.”
Yasuke’s head snapped toward Izuru, who had taken it upon himself to lay down on the bed and stare at the ceiling, “What?”
“I said I may enjoy going to class. Are you having trouble hearing me?”
“No. Why?”
“Well, because you said ‘what’ which normally means you didn’t hear me the first tim--”
“No, no. Why are you enjoying class?”
“Oh.” Izuru said, “because it’s a good place to nap.”
Yasuke was silent for a full thirty seconds. Of course.
“Ah. That’s… good.” he turned back to his computer to see that the file was fully loaded, “Anyway, are you ready for the questions?”
“Yes.”
“Alright.” Yasuke scrolled down the page until he hit the list of questions he was required to ask Izuru during each examination, “First one--”
“I know. It’s ‘how have you been sleeping’ and my answer is fine. You don’t need to ask them anymore. I could just list off my answers to save us time.”
“I’m required to ask them all. As much as I’d like to save time, I need to do my job properly.”
Izuru only sighed.
“So, how have you been sleeping?”
“Fine.”
“Can you elaborate? I need more than just ‘fine’ to write in your file.”
“Okay. Then write ‘Izuru has been sleeping fine.’”
Yasuke shot Izuru an unamused look, but Izuru didn’t see it, “Okay, smartass.” Yasuke typed what Izuru had said into the document and added a few filler sentences to make it seem more detailed.
Yasuke scrolled down again and read from the document, “Have you had any nightmares in the past week?”
“Yes.”
Yasuke checked the ‘Yes’ box and clicked the text box beside it, “What about?”
“Well, it’s a recurring nightmare--”
“Why haven’t you told me about it before?”
“Do you want to hear about it or not?”
“Yes, sorry. Go on.”
“Okay, so it starts with me walking into the lab building,” Izuru said and Yasuke began typing Izuru’s words quickly into the document.
“Okay.”
“And I climb the stairs to the third floor,”
“Okay.”
“And once I reach the the floor, I head for this room for my appointment,”
“Alright.”
“And so I approach the door and push it open and you’re in here.”
“Okay.” Yasuke finished typing and waited. When Izuru didn’t say anything he said, “What else?”
“Oh. That’s all.”
Yasuke was puzzled, “I thought you said it was a nightmare.”
“It is.”
“How?”
Without missing a beat, Izuru said, “Because you’re in it.”
Yasuke blew air out through his nose and shook his head, highlighting the typed section that he had just wrote and deleting it. He unchecked the ‘yes’ option in the nightmare category.
“You’re being a pain in the ass.” Yasuke muttered.
“Me? Never.”
“Anyway,” Yasuke said, changing the subject and scrolling down the document again, “Have you had any suicidal or homicidal thoughts?”
“Only when I see you.”
“I’m going to take that as a no.” Yasuke checked the ‘No’ box next to the question, “Next question: Do you or have you had frequent migraines or headaches?”
“Yes. As a matter-of-fact, there’s one in this room with me right now.”
“For fuck’s sake.” Yasuke muttered, “Can you please take this seriously?”
Izuru sighed and sat up, “Yes. And the actual answer to your question is no.”
Yasuke checked the ‘No’ box. “Have you had any seizures?”
“No.”
“Have you had trouble with your vision?”
“No.”
“Have you noticed a lack in appetite?”
“No.”
“Have you had trouble remembering things?”
“No.”
“Have you had any trouble focusing?”
“Only when I’m bored.”
“Okay, final question: Have you been hearing or seeing things?”
“Yes. I heard and saw everything that just happened, didn’t I?”
Yasuke gave Izuru an unimpressed look. Izuru looked like he was holding back a smile.
Yasuke couldn’t remember ever seeing Izuru laughing or smiling. Usually his dry jokes were delivered with a straight face and blank stare. But this time? This time Izuru’s red eyes were shining.
Suddenly, Izuru’s bored look was back again, “Why are you looking at me like that?”
Yasuke hadn’t even realized he was staring. He looked back to his computer, trying to seem busy, “Like what?”
“Like… how Otonashi-san looks after she leaves her appointment with you.”
Yasuke blinked. Ryouko. He’d completely forgotten about her as soon as Izuru had walked in here.
“What do you mean?”
“I don’t know a lot about the human emotions I haven’t experienced, but I’d like to call it admiration maybe.”
“Admiration.” Yasuke said, mostly to himself. What an interesting concept.
Izuru was quiet for a moment before he glanced at the clock, “I think my appointment is over, isn’t it? Am I free to go?”
Yasuke pretended to scan the document one last time before saying, “Yeah. We’re done.”
“Alright.” Izuru stood up, stretching his arms over his head, “I’ll see you next week.”
“Alright.”
Izuru left quietly, making sure to close the door behind him. Once he was gone, Yasuke closed his file and leaned back in his chair, a single word echoing in his mind.
Admiration.
Izuru had been close when he said that, as Yasuke did admire Izuru but not as a talented human being as much as romantically. He thought it wasn’t anything to get hung up about, but he wasn’t so sure now that it could be identified that easily.
And maybe Yasuke had a lot more than admiration for Izuru. Maybe it could be called something else entirely. Maybe it could be called--
“Matsuda-kuuun!” Ryouko’s voice filled the room suddenly and Yasuke turned to see that she was standing in the doorway, a determined look on her face.
He groaned inwardly, but was happy for a distraction, “What do you want?”
“I’m here to finish our conversation!”
“What conversation?”
Ryouko pulled her small notebook from her pocket and flipped through the pages, “Um… our conversation about… ” she stopped on a page, read it, and then looked up, “if you think about love?”
Yasuke hadn’t been counting on her writing that down. He sighed.
“So, do you?” she asked.
Yasuke’s mind flashed to a moment only minutes ago where Izuru had been sitting on the bed, his eyes bright from a bad joke and the corners of his mouth turning up. He thought of how he felt when Izuru spoke to him or asked him about his work. He thought about how he desperately tried to keep his heart from beating too quickly whenever they were close. He thought about the countless hours he spent wondering what it would take to make Izuru feel anything toward him. He thought about how he was in love with Izuru Kamukura.
“Well? Do you think about love?” Ryouko pressed.
“No.” Yasuke lied.