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Among the students in this all-boys boarding school in Philadelphia, you’d be hard-pressed to find anybody more famous than Nathan Milton.
Heard he used to be a hotshot back in early 2015, in his old high school in Idaho. Lotta girls would kill to catch his attention and date him, and lotta boys consider him either a king or the biggest rival. Rising star of his old high school’s football team, got elected Captain and all after he basically won the entire season with them. His parents have a lot of influence over the school, to boot.
Problem was, he’s obsessed with a female teacher. A married lesbian, at that.
Her name’s Amara Young, 44-year-old chem teacher and wife of Luci, as well as the adoptive mama of Nathan’s old classmate Robin. Jackhole somehow got it in his head that she is his, and started a full-blown rivalry against her, punctuated by lavish gifting and absolute lack of patience around other men. Didn’t help that she’s not his teacher, since he’s taking classes meant to prep him for MBA majors while she teaches chemistry. Her maternal caretaking behavior around students didn’t help his composure.
Anyway, their little feud went on for about a year before Nathan confronted Amara over at her office. Crazy bastard got jealous of little Robin being so cuddly with Amara to the point where he lunged at Amara multiple times, crashing into the walls every time she dodged. Fight ended with him hospitalized from the sheer amount of hits he’d sustained. His parents decided that enough was enough and transferred him here.
Believe it or not, the guy looked like he was dead inside when he first enrolled in this school. He didn’t engage with any of his peers and refused to pay attention to any of his classes. His grades were in a freefall from the get-go, and even club activities failed to get him rolling. I kid you not, somebody passed him a volleyball during recess, and he simply tossed it away.
His actual activities aren’t any better. He spent much of his time sitting in his dorm room, looking up his smartphone and watching images of Amara that he’d secretly taken while he was stalking her. Some teachers here tried to pluck his phone, but he just snaps every time we do that. Still, he’s kept his peace throughout every night… at least until four months in.
He started screaming her name, I kid not. Running around hallways, proclaiming that Amara is “his” and all, and before long, everybody and their mama knows who Amara is. Some boys began taunting him over it, and he started lashing out and brawling with them. Problem for him was, his only moves are lunging and punching. So, everybody baited him into lunging via provocation and dodged outta the way, causing him to crash into everything.
Walls. Trees. Lockers. Just about every part of this school now bore prints of his face, locked in permanent jealous fury. But the highlight was the lunges themselves, as the sheer amount of dedication to his doomed lunges brought everyone no end of schadenfreude.
Eventually, some boys caught the funniest lunges on camera. They’d taken all of those and put them together in a video titled “The Lunges of Darkest Romantics” and posted it online, and… let’s just say it went viral in days. Made our school into the talk of the world, turned us from some “snobby” private school into a world-famous academic institution housing the most unhinged student there ever was.
Not that we’ll complain about the free publicity stunt, though.
Anyway, Nathan’s behavior had gotten worse in the days following that video upload. He’s doubling down on his jealous rage, his parents got called, and he soon tried to reach out again. So, in a bid to appease him, we’ve contacted his school and asked them to send Amara over to visit our school.
“…and that’s why you’re here,” I finish.
“Wow, that’s… a handful, Mr. Melvin,” Amara responds, chuckling. “Though, speaking of Milton, is he available at the moment?”
“Yeah, he’s in the teacher’s lounge,” I gesture at the door. “Come in!”
When Amara enters, Nathan immediately touches himself up, trying to look presentable despite the damage his face sustained from his lunges. He was shaking, and I was worried he’d get the zoomies once he sees his crush. Luckily, he’s still seated.
“Uh… hey, Lunger of Darkest Romantics,” Amara greets him, jerking a thumb at me. “Mr. Melvin here told me you want to see me.”
His overjoyed smile turns to a glare once he hears the moniker.
“You think this is funny?!” he screams, suddenly standing up. “Do you have any idea how humiliating this is?!”
“Milton, come on,” Amara raises a hand. “You knew this would happen if you kept going with your obsession. Haven’t I repeatedly told you I’m off-limits AND not interested?”
“Yeah, well, you don’t understand!” Nathan roars. “You don’t understand what it's like to be obsessed!”
“I do, and it’s causing you to destroy yourself,” Amara hisses. “Look at you, Milton. Your own obsession has doomed you to crash into everything. Is that okay with you?”
“But I can't help it!” he yells again. “I NEED YOU!”
Amara sighs. However, her frown slowly turns into a menacing smile.
“Well… let me ask this, then,” she says softly. “What if I’m old enough to enter menopause before I can bear your children?”
I almost fell over when Nathan suddenly lunged at her. Amara leaps out of the way, causing him to fly through the window and fall into the volleyball court. We called the ambulance afterwards.
The students say that lunge was the last clip they needed to make a sequel to the original video, and I’m happy for them. I think Amara’s just glad he’s finally out of her hair for good, though.
Besides, I will admit that seeing his face printed onto the school’s volleyball court made me laugh.