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The amount of times his best-friend helped him was honestly unrepayable. He was the most honest and thoughtful man he had ever met. Sometimes, he found himself desiring to be more with this man, to mean more to him like how he means so much to Virgil.
Honestly, he’s helped Virgil so much that he knows almost everything about Virgil! And yet, the most Virgil knows about him was his basic hobbies or interests. He knew how much he adored astronomy but very specifically not astrology, how much he adores biology and chemical engineering, hell - the guy has a degree in it! He knows he likes puzzles and problems to solve, he knows he likes poetry and writing, but prefers reading or studying. And most of all, he knows Logan loves learning things but hates change.
Logan. A man he’d want to make a speech at his wedding… or honestly… to be the groom. Virgil’s gaze was tethered to the ceiling, unfocused and lost in thought. His lips slightly parting as he exhaled through his nose, eventually turning his head to the side, staring at his bedroom wall. The foot of his bed awkwardly close to the door out of his room, his desk in the opposite corner to his bed, and drawers and shelves mostly in his vision as he looked off the edge of his bed.
God, he couldn’t help but wonder just how many times he’s done this. Laid in bed, stared at the ceiling, his desk, or his shelves, and thought about Logan. He trusts Logan so unbelievably bad, to the point Logan probably knows more about Virgil than Virgil knows about himself. There isn’t a thing Logan doesn’t know. There isn’t a thing that Logan hasn’t helped Virgil overcome… The only reason his bedroom wasn’t a total mess was because Logan stops by every month just to help him clean up if he can’t do it himself.
So incredibly thoughtful. Virgil couldn’t help but think that there was nothing he could do to compare. He’s set up so many things for that man just to try! But then Logan would hit back harder with something even better, even if Logan didn’t think so. Virgil sighed and pulled off his headphones, letting the music he was listening to slowly drown out from his head. He swung his legs over the edge of his bed and let his feet hit the carpeted floor, he wanted that carpet removed forever ago but the apartment landlords wouldn’t let him get rid of it. He was afraid there’d be things under it or he’d lose stuff easier because of it, but Logan had helped him calm down about that worry.
Virgil held back a smile, biting his lip before exhaling meekly. Virgil stood up and nabbed his phone. Walking out his bedroom with one thought in mind, one person in mind.
Well, it’s not like he hasn’t done it before. Virgil has shown up at Logan’s apartment numerous times before, and hey, he did text Logan he was gonna come over. He couldn’t help but let out a giddy little chuckle at the thought of Logan preparing extra room on his couch or maybe bed for Virgil to sleep over. Ready to comfort the anxious man.
But as Virgil left his apartment and arrived at Logan’s on his motorcycle, he couldn’t help but notice the silence. He checked his phone - Shit, Logan hadn’t even seen the message! Maybe he was asleep early tonight? Virgil knocked again, no answer. He grumbled nervously and rocked on his heels as he stuffed his hands into his pockets. He sighed, leaning down to grab the spare key from under the mat. Taking a shaky hand to unlock the door and cautiously go into the apartment. He shut it behind him and left the key on the door-side table.
“…Logan?” Virgil reluctantly called out in a careful tone. Virgil hummed to himself anxiously, he was seriously hoping Logan wasn’t asleep, it’d be a lot more awkward if he was and he had just woken the poor dude up on accident by… honestly, breaking and entering.
Virgil looked left toward the kitchen and then to the lounge room to his right, huh. Logan’s place was messier than he remembered… he looked past the couch and at the closed door to Logan’s bedroom. He carefully maneuvered around to the door and gently knocked, no answer again. He opened it slowly and took a peak into the dark room before he noticed Logan lifting his head up at Virgil in a tired way
Anxiety shot down Virgil’s spine, his brows instantly knitting together. “Shit! Sorry, L! Thought you’d be awake…” Virgil lowered his voice into a hush “Shoulda known better…” Virgil scoffed at himself.
“It’s fine. I wasn’t sleeping.” Logan lowered his head back onto his pillow, one arm under the pillow, one arm on top. He was in a plain black t-shirt and dark blue shorts, the blanket covering only his legs. Geez, his room was a mess too… Looks like some papers and things had fallen off his desk.
Virgil made a small noise of general concern before opening the door to let the lounge room light in, not turning the bedroom light on as to disturb Logan a little less. He made his way to Logan’s desk and started picking up the papers for him, maybe he got a bit angry at something and just chucked stuff around? It’s not entirely above Logan to do that…
Logan stared at Virgil from the bed, his gaze unfocused but still relatively fixated on Virgil. God, he hasn’t checked his phone in weeks. All he could do was hope Virgil wasn’t texting much, then again, Virgil rarely did to begin with. Fuck, but what about the others? Why was Virgil even here? Did Patton send him? Logan let out a small sigh “Are you in need of something Virgil?”
Virgil made a little hum in a questioning tone before answering “Oh, uh… not really. Just wanted to stop by… You doin’ okay?” Virgil placed the papers and books back onto the desk as neatly as he could before turning to look at Logan.
“…Good. Because I’m honestly in no mood to help right now I’m afraid.” Logan dodged the question. He flipped around on the bed to face his bookshelves instead, kicking the blanket up higher a little bit with his legs, not moving his hands… He didn’t feel like it.
“Uh…” Virgil paused. Was Logan okay? Virgil took a step closer, fiddling with his hands in front of his abdomen. “Something happen?”
“No.” Logan answered plainly. A blank stare plastered on his face, his glasses on his bedside table with two empty cups of coffee.
Virgil tilted his head slightly before his gaze shifted back to Logan. Then what’s up with him? Was… Oh. “…Did I do something wrong?” Virgil asked in a slightly hoarse voice, his gaze turning to the floor.
Logan’s gaze softened, slowly maneuvering himself to shakily sit up as if it took the most amount of effort he could muster. “Oh, goodness… No. No, of course not, Virgil.” His voice softened as well, a lot less harsh and cold. I suppose he didn’t realise just how cold he was acting before.
Virgil let out a gentle exhale. “Alright… then, what’s up with you, L? I know you when you get angry, and you don’t get all… sulky.” Virgil pointed out, leaving his voice hushed. He didn’t feel like talking any louder than needed. He stepped closer to the bed and leaned on it for a moment before settling himself down on the edge, sitting sideways so he could still look at Logan.
Logan let out a slightly annoyed sigh. “I don’t wish to ask you of anything, Virgil. I wouldn’t want to burden you.” Logan pulled up his legs to his chest and wrapped his arms around them, keeping his gaze away from Virgil which was rather unusual.
Virgil’s eyes softened, brows furrowing up with concern, eyes hooded over. “Dude, all I’ve done is burden you with my problems.” Virgil paused… I guess this was a moment he could possibly start paying his imaginary favour-debt “So, you can burden me… I’m asking for you to…”
Logan let his gaze center before moving it to Virgil, his face and muscles relaxing. Logan couldn’t help but let out a small exhale of air as a form of laugh. “I suppose you aren’t wrong. I just-“ Logan cut himself off, taking a moment before groaning and leaning back, falling back onto his bed. He rolled over onto his side, facing Virgil but not looking, instead glumly looking at his desk and computer. “I don’t… want to feel like I have to rely on you. That isn’t to say you can’t rely on me and that you should be embarrassed or ashamed of it, but… I don’t want to rely on anybody but myself.” Logan lowered his tone, as if trying to hide his own words.
Virgil frowned slightly. Wait, so how many times has Logan needed help but didn’t ask solely because he thought he could handle it on his own?
“Which I know is… illogical in nature. But my stubbornness and independence demand for me to solve my own problems.” Logan paused… gaze settling back on Virgil. “But I suppose it becomes an issue when I can’t figure out what is wrong with me.” Logan’s voice cracked slightly at the end. He wasn’t good at talking about his issues. Not as good as Virgil had become at least, he was glad Virgil could trust him so much and rely on him. He just… didn’t want to feel the same and take Virgil’s time.
Virgil couldn’t help the shakiness that overcame him, lip trembling, his own voice cracking. “Logan… you-“ Virgil tried to clear his throat, he didn’t want to cry. He’d feel selfish. “You… don’t need to do everything alone… if anyone knows how that feels, it’s me.” Virgil situated himself fully on the bed, deciding to lay down beside Logan on his side to face him.
Logan stared with hooded eyes, tired eyes. “I’m…” He paused. He didn’t want to ask for help, didn’t want to feel like he had to… But, he honestly did. He needed to. And who better than Virgil? “I’m struggling to just get out of bed, Virgil… I… can’t do most of my work anymore, everything is irritating me, and I feel constantly dissociated with no reason why. I don’t… I don’t know why I’m struggling so much.” Logan’s voice cracked, his eyes glassing over as tears began to prickle his vision. Logan let his face warp gently, eyebrows furrowing up, pressing together, his mouth frowning. That damn lump in his throat made it so hard to talk.
Virgil sucked in a breath through his nose, trying to keep himself together. He felt horrible for Logan… What was he supposed to do? To say? How was he supposed to help when not even Logan knew what the issue was.
“I… honestly can’t take care of myself right now, Virgil…” Logan tried to swallow the lump down. “I hate to ask… but, some help would be nice.” Logan’s voice cracked further. A tear rolled down to his ear due to his laying on his side, another tear rolling past his nose bridge.
“…” Virgil stayed silent for a moment, staring at the rather disheveled man in front of him. “I’ll help.” Virgil’s voice was quiet, slightly shaky. “I’ll do anything to help you, Logan…” Virgil moved to brush some of Logan’s uncharacteristically messy hair out of his face, moving to cup his cheek, to wipe the tear from the corner of his eye.
“…Thank you.”