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It was a typical day at Hogwarts, with everyone going about their day as per usual. That was, except two certain students.
These two students were Kenny McCormick and Stan Marsh. A Hufflepuff and a Gryffindor. They were planning something as part of a match-making prank.
"Did you get the powdered moonstones?" Stan asked, mixing in the rose thorns with the concoction in the cauldron.
"Mhm," Kenny hummed, voiced muffled from his yellow and black scarf tied around the bottom of his face.
"Good," Stan said, smirking evilly. They had made a new type of love potion. This one was made to work permanently. The two people who drink some from the same batch fall deep in love with each other.
As of now you're probably thinking, 'Hey, who is it that these two wizards want to hook up?' Well, dear reader, they are hooking up their two best friends. The thought of Kyle Brovfloski, a Ravenclaw, and Eric Cartman, a Slytherin, being in love was hilarious to Stan (although Kenny thought it'd be cute to see them together). Especially because the two hate each other.
"Okay, it's done," Kenny said, "but now that it is done, how will we get it to them? Also, if the effects are permanent, how do we fix them after this is over?"
"I have two glasses of butterbeer; we can lace them with it. And as for how we'll reverse this..." Stan trailed off, scratching the back of his neck in thought. "...Well. We can cross that bridge when we get to it."
"Okie dokie," Kenny hummed, pouring some if the potion into the glasses.
"Let's do this," Stan yelled, bursting out of the closet just in time to see everyone leaving their classes. He and Kenny quickly took the glasses and slipped into the crowd as to not be out of the ordinary.
-
"So, why did you want us out here?" Cartman asked, sounding extremely annoyed.
"We just wanted to hang out, y'know," Stan replied casually, holding up the two laced drinks. "Butterbeer?"
"Don't mind if I do," Cartman practically yelled, all annoyance gone from his voice and replaced with happiness.
"Kyle?"
"Eh, why not?" Kyle shrugged, taking the other glass from Stan.
Cartman downed his in one go, while Kyle took his time and sipped it lightly.
Once they were all finished, the boys got up and went to their respective house dorms. Stan and Kenny practically losing sleep from excitement for the next day.
-
As potions class rolled around-the class the boys shared-Stan and Kenny were not so patiently awaiting what the other two would act like around each other. Both of them excitedly talking to the other.
Once class had started, the two had their eyes glued to the pair who had consumed the love potion. They were surprised to see that the pair were still arguing and bickering as they always do. Still calling each other horrible names and slurs, and still looking like they were going to punch each other.
"I don't understand," Stan whispered to Kenny, rubbing the back of his head. "We gave them our love potion; why didn't it work?"
"Don't you see, Stan," Kenny whispered back, slapping the other on the shoulder. "Our love potion didn't work because they were already in love with each other!"
"But they can't, they hate each other. Look at them fight."
"Dude, they are in love. That's the only way our potions effects wouldn't, well, affect them. They are in love!"
-
Two days later, Kenny and Stan walked in on Cartman and Kyle making out in one of the bathroom stalls.
"Hot damn, you were right."