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“Judy!” His throat ached with cold and panic. He could barely take a breath in without it slicing his lungs open.
“It’s too late.” Gary whispered. “She’s gone.”
“No, no, no, no.” His tears were dampening her fur, and his sobs were making it impossible to take a breath in, but he couldn’t stop. He couldn’t stop.
There was the sound of a crack, right where he sat. Then, Gary’s voice, panicked, “Come away from there! You’re gonna fall!”
And Nick thought, I already did, and let the void welcome him in.
He gasped awake with a start, sitting straight up and clawing at his chest. He blinked at the green and blue checkered comforter Judy’s parents had gifted him for his birthday, “So you can feel cozy and warm even in those dreary city winters!” Mrs Hopps had said with her bright, sweet smile.
They’d also told him something about getting a matching one for Judy…
Before he knew what he was doing, his phone was at his ear. The dial tone only worsening his anxiety, when finally, her sleepy voice came through, “Mhm-hello?”
Nick’s muzzle scrunched up as he tried not to cry.
“Nick?” Her voice was laced with worry, now. “Is everything okay?”
He swallowed, trying to make his throat work through the tightness. “Yeah, uh— sorry.”
“It’s okay,” Her voice was so gentle. “You know you can always call me. We’re partners, after all!”
He blurted, “I had a nightmare— about you,” he winced, feeling his heart speed up, before he finally finished the sentence. “Not waking up.”
“Oh.” There was a long silence after that.
Nick thought he should be feeling embarrassed and… regretful, probably. About waking her up for no good reason, and putting himself through what he was sure would be a heart to heart that would make him want to skip town as soon as Judy so much as looked at him with those big, soulful eyes.
But all he could feel right now was relief. That she was right there, breathing right next to his ear, safe and sound in her little shoebox apartment at the other side of town.
“I have some of those too, sometimes.”
Nick couldn’t help the hurt noise that came out of him, “About you being hurt?”
“Oh, not those,” a pause, then, “They’re mostly about you not forgiving me for what I said at my first press conference… or about me not getting to you in time when the ice broke. My nightmares are about losing you, too.”
“Oh.”
“Yup.”
“Wow.” Nick blinked wide-eyed at his comforter as he traced an embroidered nighthowler. “What a pair we make, huh, Carrots?”
“Mrs Fuzzbee is probably right about us being a little codependent.”
“Probably,” he agreed.
“We will never tell her so, though.”
Nick grinned. “Concurred.”
He’d known. He’d always known that Judy had never wanted anyone else but him as her partner, but he couldn’t say he was against hearing her say it, too, from time to time.
Nothing like knowing the person you loved most in the world couldn’t stand being in a world without you in it, too.
“Oh, and Nick?”
“Yeah?”
“Don’t ever apologise for calling me. I’m always here for you. Always.”
Nick chuckled, feeling warm in his chest as he snuggled back down in his bed. “Same here, Carrots. Same here.”
“Good.”
And well, if Nick fell asleep with a smile on his face… who could blame him? It was to the sound of his favourite bunny snoring down the other end of the line.
-
The next time it happened, Nick dreamt of Judy falling.
The dial tone went off three times before she finally answered, “Mhm-Hi, Nick.”
He shivered a little at hearing his name spoken with such naked affection, “Hi.”
She waited, ever-patient or already falling back asleep. Either way, Nick didn’t fight the smile stretching over his mouth.
“You know what I was thinking?”
“Tell me,” that tone again. So tender, Nick felt it like golden honey dripping in his mouth.
He shook his head, trying to get a hold of himself. “I was thinking that we should visit your parents again.”
“Oh my,” Judy laughed, “And why would you want to do that? I thought you were going to run away screaming by day two of last time we went!”
“You exaggerate,” Nick says, primly. Even if she was kind of right, because, genuinely, he liked her family just fine, was even fond of all two-hundred-and-ninety-three of them, but, again. There were two-hundred-and-ninety-three of them and for someone who’d been on his own for most of his life? It was just a tiiiiiiny bit overwhelming. Still. “I miss your dad’s blueberries.”
“Hah! I knew you had ulterior motives.”
“Well. You know me, and you love me anyways.”
“Sure do,” Judy says as easy as breathing. “And always will.”
Nick sighed, feeling soft and warm, “I’m glad you’re my pack.”
Judy hummed again, “I’ll get you one of Gideon’s pies when we go.”
“Woah, you really want me to start singing sonnets in your name, huh? That’s alright, I already have one, hear hear:
Oh, Judith, dear Judith,
why must you be so fair and kind
And torture my soul so?
Oh, Judith, you enter a room and
suddenly, I have no use for knees.
Thine smile shines brighter
Than a lighthouse
Tis the light to welcome me home…”
Her giggles were music to his ears, “That was… actually not that bad. Did you practice it?”
“Uh-huh. Every night, before bed.”
She laughed again and somehow from the sound and inflection of it he could tell she was about to fall asleep again. Which was perfectly fine. He looked forward to falling asleep to the sound of her quiet snuffles, but…
“Hey, Judy?”
A yawn, “Yeah?”
“There’s no black abyss under you bed, is there?”
There was a brief pause, then, fondly, “No, Nick, there’s no abyss anywhere in my room.”
“Check for me, will ya?”
He was mostly joking, but the sound of rustling and squeaky mattress springs told him she’d actually gotten up to check and it made his heart swell impossibly big.
His phone pinged with a notification and he tapped it to see a photo of Judy’s room, still and quiet in the darkness of the night. No black abyss to see anywhere.
“Thank you.”
“Mhm, no problem.”
-
The next time he had a nightmare it was worse.
He knew it was all a terrible dream but he couldn’t wake up.
He was holding Judy’s lifeless body, feeling the limp weight in his arm and still stuck in a loop of asking the same questions, over and over again, “What happened?”
“Why?”
And, “How?”
Because worst of all, he hadn’t been by her side.
And it was all Chief Bogo’s fault. He’d been the one to forcefully separate their flawless teamwork.
Only because they’d appeared to be a little codependent.
And because they’d just gotten a pair of new recruits that had shown the same signs of co-dependency — on the account of them being childhood best friends, and Bogo wanted them to acclimate to the rest of the force as soon as possible.
Nick had been with Patrick in the other side of town, patrolling the streets and being a great seasoned officer, showing him shortcuts while recounting all the cases he and Judy had to use them for.
It’d been a quiet day!
No chatter on the radio alerting him to the danger that Judy had obviously been in!
“What happened?!”
Caroline was crying, deep, wracking sobs that shook her entire frame. Nick wanted to shake her, make her talk but— Judy was in his arms and he didn’t want to let go.
He couldn’t.
“This is a dream.” He told himself looking away from her grief. It had to be. It was. He was sure of it.
Right?
His breathing was coming too fast; he could feel it from how he kept jostling Judy with it.
“Wake up,” he whimpered, looking at her. He cupped her head in his paws, vision blurring. “Wake up, please.”
“I’m so sorry, Nick.” Caroline was sobbing, Patrick holding her tight in his arms.
This couldn’t be real.
But then, why did it feel like it was?
“Wilde.” It was Chief Bogo. “I’m sorry.”
Nick snapped, “You should be!” He felt like he was drowning in a wave of rage so hot he thought his brain might catch fire. “It’s your fault! YOUR FAULT!”
And just as quick the wild, hot rage was gone. His strength left him all at once.
There’s no point, he thought, curling up over her and hugging her close.
If you go, I go.
-
Nick woke up whimpering into his pillow. The tears falling over his muzzle burning paths of grief he never wanted to feel again.
Reaching for his phone and hitting the call button was a practiced move at this point. And probably the only reason why he didn’t drop it even with how much his paws were shaking.
Judy answered with, “I’m okay, Nick.”
Nick sniffled. “Couldn’t wake up for a while.”
“Oh, darling,” her voice was so soft, even just hearing it from his phone was enough to reel him back from his panic and grief.
“It was awful.”
“It wasn’t real,” she promised.
Nick rolled over his back, holding the phone firm on his ear as he blinked up at the ceiling. He took deep breaths, guided by Judy’s gentle voice and finally, sighed.
“Patrick is a great guy, and I actually don’t mind patrolling with him...”
Judy hummed, “Caroline is such a sweetheart, too. Very eager to learn, listens to everything I tell her but isn’t afraid to question me when she doesn’t understand something…”
“But…”
“But.” Judy agreed.
“Tomorrow, we’re going to Chief’s and getting him to swap us back,” he winced at how desperate his voice sounded. “Okay?”
“Yeah,” Judy sounded so relieved it made Nick’s worry disappear. “I miss you, too.”
Nick smiled and closed his eyes.
“I’m sure Caroline’s great and all, but I don’t trust anyone else to keep up with you while you save the world. You need the best. And I am obviously the best.”
“Yes, you are.”
He thought she might’ve meant to sound put upon. But instead, all he could detect was unbearable fondness that worked wonders to relax him back on his bed.
“I’m glad we’re partners.”
“I love you, too.”
Nick wasn’t really eager to go back to sleep, afraid of whatever else his brain might cook up. But it was okay, Judy stayed on the call with him until sunrise.
+1
Being together in all the ways people could be together came as easy as breathing.
All it took was a kiss and some — impossible to hide — jealousy for the confessions of all confessions to finally be said out loud.
Deciding to move in together was even easier.
Because of course they would. It was a sensible choice.
They’d both save up money, see each other as often as they both wanted to and Nick actually got to have a hands on approach making sure that Judy didn’t work herself to death.
It was great. Perfect, even.
They still bickered, still fought, still got on each other’s nerves but it was only because no one knew them as well as they did and because no one cared for the other as much as they did.
They were each other’s family, pack and fluffle. And it was worth everything.
Even hurts and feelings being spoken out loud so that they could fix it as soon as possible and move on together.
Nick also, finally, was able to unlock the sweet respite of a whole night of sleep.
He still had the odd nightmare here and there, but most of the time now they were just vague wisps of discomfort, easily forgotten as soon as he awoke and sensed her just there. Right beside him.
“‘nother dream?”
Judy had become alarmingly good at sensing his discomfort even when she was deep in her sleep — and it never stopped filling him with wonder.
“Yeah, but I’m good now,” he said, curling over his side to tuck her in against him, as close as they could possibly get.
Judy hummed, mumbling incoherently but definitely contentedly.
There really was not a single thing Nick would not do to keep her safe, comfortable and happy.
“Hey.”
“Yeah?”
Nick curled even closer, until he was practically on top of her, “You go, I go.”
Judy kicked him.
“Hey!”
She kicked him again, straight on the chest so he was pushed back, but there was still no distance between them because she’d resorted to sit on him and grab his face firmly between her paws. “Stop saying that.”
Nick frowned. “It’s true.”
“I know,” Judy shook him for emphasis. “But it doesn’t matter because, every time you do something stupid to save me from doing something even stupider, I will save you back! So no one is going anywhere.”
Nick grinned. “Wow.” He wrapped his arms around her to hold her firmly to his chest. “Miss Hopps knows all the ways straight to a guy’s heart.”
“Your heart,” Judy pouted. “Yours is the only one I care about.”
“Straight through.” Nick said and went boneless as if he’d really been hit by an arrow.
Judy giggled softly and nuzzled in under his chin.
Ah, yes.
What was a nightmare against this?