Chapter Text
Robert Robertson the 3rd swore he wasn't gay.
No, let me correct that - Robert Robertson the 3rd knew he wasn't gay.
It'd been girls all his life: he loved their hair, their eyes, their lips, their waists - hell, he'd even been into Mandy at one point, but backed off quick when she said she wasn't interested. When he was a kid, he always thought that the girls on the TV series his dad put on were absolutely gorgeous. He'd made out with a girl who's name he couldn't remember in the back of a club when he was 18 to take the edge off, and a couple more after that. He'd been in love with a few girls in the past too, but hadn't dated since his last ex dumped him in his shitty, bleak apartment, sleeping on a plastic chair, (recently upgraded to sofa, thanks to the Z-Team).
In short, it had always been girls.
So why, when he was lounging on Chad's far too comfortable sofa watching him and Alice play dress up with some of her stage outfits, was he questioning something that had been a constant all his life?
It started as a joke. A silly, harmless joke.
Alice had texted him asking him to come and 'score their outfits' (whatever that meant) at Chad's, and Robert, with nothing better to do, had said yes. Stupid, stupid, stupid Robert had said yes. Just hanging out with friends off the clock, he had thought. What could go wrong?
A lot, apparently - for him, at least.
Alice and Chad were having a great time doing each other's makeup, trying on silly wigs and tight catsuits, thigh-high boots and elbow-length gloves, black, sparkly fishnets and denim booty shorts. They were strutting around, hyping each other up with rave (or maybe K-pop? He wasn't really sure) music blasting through a shitty speaker balanced precariously on the mantlepiece. He welcomed the atmosphere, liking the liveliness that came with visiting the Z-Teams' dorms, as it was a warming contrast to his own void of an apartment.
Alice, he didn't have a problem with. She was in her element and looked great while doing it. She had always been a naturally confident person, for as long as he'd known her at least, but Robert figured it came with her job and the music she made. This was one thing he loved about her - she always did the talking when he didn't feel like it.
The issue, however, was Chad.
Robert didn't think he was too far off his usual persona, with the stupid, plunging V-neck of his superhero costume and the stupid, see-through mesh of his top half that Robert absolutely had no opinions on and had absolutely never appeared in his dreams more than once.
And yet, something about him was effortlessly...
...Okay. Something about him was effortlessly sexy.
The way he held himself with shoulders back and popped hip, hands draped over his hipbones where the bodysuit he was wearing left windows due to the low-slung shorts. The way his usually slicked-back hair was cascading down his shoulders and across his back, reflecting the multicoloured lights Alice had found a YouTube video for and was now playing on the TV. The way the fishnets were clearly a little too small, making criss-cross patterns where they dug into his thighs and made the muscles bulge. The way the eyeshadow glimmered on his eyelids and cheekbones, matching the soft, pink-tinted lip gloss that was making it hard for Robert to keep his eyes off of his lips. The way he was staring at him with those gorgeous copper eyes, and his accent that was starting to become something he loved as he talked-
"-Robert. Earth to Robert. Hello? Bob-bob? Anyone in there?" he said, waving a hand in front of Robert's face. Robert blinked, shaking his head and coming back to the world - unfortunate, in his opinion.
"Yeah? Sorry, zoned out." he half-mumbled, still slightly dazed at the sudden interruption to his daydreams.
"Bitch," Alice spoke up, flicking through filters on her phone to find a good one, "you are here for a reason, not to sit around and zone out. Rate our fits." she instructed, snapping a few pictures of herself and setting her phone down on the arm of the sofa to sit into her hip, striking a painlessly charismatic pose, before wrapping an arm round Chad's shoulders.
Robert squinted at them for a moment, taking in the bold, but actually good outfits, subtly pulling one of the pillows next to him over his lap as he stared at Chad's hip windows for a second too long. Alice raised an eyebrow at him, but thankfully the muse himself didn't seem to notice. He nodded, clearing his throat.
"Well," he started, "I think giving either of you less than a 10 would be a crime."
Chad wooped, high-fiving Alice probably way too excitedly for a rating from Robert, of all people. "As it should be!" he exclaimed, and Alice pulled him into a side hug.
"Damn right! We are sexy motherfuckers," Alice said, bumping her hip into his.
Robert could agree with that far too much for his liking.
Speaking of which - the fact that he was even attracted to Chad in the first place had now started to catch up with him, and not just through his dick. He'd always been into girls, and only girls, never even thinking about another guy in that way before. Or actually, had he? No, no, he hadn't. All those times he'd caught himself looking at some hero's suit and how tight they seemed to get around the thighs, or a random Louis Vuitton model on a billboard with blonde hair and glistening highlights were just flukes, right? Situations he'd accidentally ended up in. Just his brain being deprived of affection. Lust, not love, if you will.
He couldn't be gay, not if he still liked girls.
But it didn't put his mind at ease.
"I think I'm gonna head home for the night guys, Beef needs feeding and I need to make sure Chase didn't kidnap him," he saaid, half-yawning and standing up, shifting his posture to hide the situation in his boxers. Alice nodded, flicking through something on her phone and turning down the K-pop/rave music a little.
"Night, Robbo, don't die on your way home or whatever," Chad teased, patting his head and causing more self-doubt to fire through Robert's mind.
"Yeah. Thanks."
He found himself sat against the sofa, Beef in his lap as he absentmindedly stroked the dog. The mellow moonbeams filtered through his poorly assembled blinds, forming little patches of light on his floor, reminding him just how late it was. He should at least try and go to sleep, even if it didn't work, as he had work the next day, where he'd have to see Chad in his stupidly revealing costume.
And yet, he didn't move from his position where he was sat staring at the white wall ahead of him, silently hoping it would give the answers he wanted.
The white wall stared back and remained silent.
Was he gay?
No - his attraction to Mandy had been real. He absolutely still liked girls, but could he like boys too? Was he even allowed to do that?
Curiosity eventually got the better of him and he pulled out his phone to quickly type into the search bar 'i think i like boys and girls please help'. Lots of results came up, but they all said the same thing - bisexuality: attraction to both males and females.
So it was a thing. He wasn't alone in this weird spiral he'd pulled himself into. It was explainable, and nothing was wrong with him. At least for now, he's okay with this realisation, and would spend another night staring at his ceiling listening to Beef snore as he tried to turn his brain off. Tomorrow, he knew that the moment he sees Chad, he'll work himself into a state and probably run away again, but that's future Robert's problem.
Right now, though, he clambered onto the sofa and settled under a throw blanket, with a sense of finally belonging to himself at long last.