Chapter Text
You feel around the walls, your fingers dusting the rough and chipped paint. Your inner thoughts seemed to surface and project themselves loudly in the front of your mind, where was the door? You sigh before stopping at the feeling of hard plastic bumping into your fingertips. You reach for the switch blindly and flinch, feeling light hit your skin as your sensitive eyes twitch unblinkingly. You can see dim grayish shadows, some darker than others as you navigate the room. The light barely helping to navigate you in the room.
This was just going to start out to be such a wonderful day, wasn’t it?
You couldn’t figure out where the door was, it just all meshed together like the worst version of 'Where's Waldo' ever created. Only this wasn’t a sea of people, it was just you, in a sea of greys and blacks. Looking for a single white door that didn’t even resemble a shape in your blurry mess called vision. You weren’t surprised, you couldn’t see two inches in front of yourself light or no light. Your depth perception had been gone for a while, your eyes flicked back and forth in the empty space uncontrollably. They looked glazed over as you blankly stared at a chuck of wall, feeling around for an edge.
Your fingertips hit a corner and you groan, not again. You were sick of these damn corners, you were surprised you hadn’t hit your closet, or your desk. It was disorientating to wake up on the floor after a rough night, and not know where the heck on the floor you’ve awoken. You try again, this time you drag your nimble fingers across the trim of the wall. You were dimly surprised to not have gotten a splinter by now as you run into the door.
You smiled weakly as you grabbed the handle and swung it open, quietly slipping through the now ajar door into a hallway. You adjust your dress, and felt it for wrinkles once more, none so far. You hoped it was clean as well, it felt white that would make it extremely easy to stain, and you would be none the wiser. You just crossed your fingers and hurried to the bathroom, where you cleaned up, brushing your hair, cleaning your teeth. You walked out of the bathroom once you were satisfied that you were as clean as you were going to get.
You twirled a bit, spinning your hips as you felt the air around you swish. You smiled a bit, liking the feeling before you dropped the smile and continued on your path. Your feet padded down the hall silently, past your mother, who was most likely passed out on the couch based on the snores. You hand curled around the rough strap of your bag and you hoisted it onto your shoulder as you quickly tugged on your shoes.
You stuffed your keys into your bag and a cereal bar into your mouth before pulling on your small jacket. Black? It felt rough, maybe pleather? You didn’t bother to over think it, it kept you warm, and that was all that mattered as of now.
You walked out of the front door, closing it as you took your steps slowly feeling the pavement with the soles of your shoes. You think they were boots, but you weren’t sure since it felt like normal cloth. They could also be high tops with thick soles. Either way they were hardy, and strong, that's all you cared about.
You turned on your heel, keeping your toes brushing the concrete. You knew that you would wear down the tips of your shoes, if they weren’t already that is, but you would risk that. You would rather have to worry about getting new shoes than trying to make sure you didn’t accidently walk off into the street. Honestly speaking, who would win really, you or a car?
Yeah, you guessed the car too.
You trudge down the walk, listening closely to the cars and feeling every pitiful gaze or hateful glare directed towards you. Unknowing to the number of people that ignored you, you couldn’t feel people’s stares when they weren’t looking at you. You frankly didn’t know how you knew when they did? Your school was only down the road, which you liked, it wasn’t the best one, but it was proficient in its purpose. The only bad thing being the stupid fact that some people blamed you for needing extra help, help and funding that could apparently go to their kids. Spiteful, hateful adults with spoiled, hateful kids.
Didn’t they realize any extra money was more than likely going to sports rather than books or school lunch anyway? It was ignorant of them to think otherwise, than again, being stupid has never stopped them anyway…
You held your head high, your eyes set to where you thought the horizon line belonged. You wouldn’t let them hurt you with their words, it would be useless to let them anyway. You belonged here just as much as they did, and you didn’t care about your short-comings. You were proud to be you, no one could ever change that, right?
You stopped as you felt the sidewalk dip down, causing you to stumble forward, it was the road to the front doors. Crossing the street was always what scared you the most, the cross walk had a light, but really, what help was a flashing green light that you couldn’t even see? You refused to show your apprehension as your gaze hardened in stubbornness and you waltzed across the curving street. You let yourself take a breath as you feel the sidewalk cracks once more against your thick soles. You don’t know why you always expected something to happen, you really didn’t, were you just paranoid? You couldn’t tell anymore, so you didn’t think about it.
You walk past school’s main parking lot just as the buses let out their occupants. You curse your timing as, in what feels like no time at all, bodies are pressing in on you from all sides and pushing you out of their way as they rushed to get to the school’s entrance. You sighed as you wished that you would’ve go to drop off lane... then again you didn’t as you knew some of the PTA moms dropped their kids off there. They were so cruel to you, their words at least were. You didn’t even know where an adult could get the idea to spout such awful words to a child.
Then again, you didn’t really wonder about that, you just accepted it as a piece of your daily life and moved on.
Your hands brushed against your covered arms as you curled against yourself, shoulders slumping slightly. Your confidence, that you had built up so carefully over the weekend, was plummeting as you heard the whispers with your sensitive hearing. Not that your hearing was better than any normal person's, you just learned to pay attention and listen. Everyone could do it if they wanted to, but they didn’t care to really. More occupied talking than to actually think about what would happened if they actually listened for once. You shook off your pessimistic thoughts as you headed off to a bench that was beneath a tree on the front yard of the school. It was quieter and nicer to wait there for school to start then in those filthy and loud school halls.
You pulled your body up onto the cool wood and closed your eyes and enjoying the morning breeze as it brushed through your hair, it felt so nice. You reopened your eyes, not really caring about that fact much, it only made the world a bit brighter. Grey shadows and dark shadows were still mixing together from light sources. There weren’t any colors, but you were thankful for the fact you could see something other than the blankness, that indescribable color that was even worse than black.
You wished you could see white, you knew the color from your dreams. Those beautiful colors, you couldn’t name all the shades, but white soon became a favorite of yours. It felt warm and fuzzy, it almost even felt bright. That’s why, even though it was hard to clean, you loved to wear white, it just made you feel happy, like a little light in the night sky.
You thought you could feel more eyes on you, but you deemed them as only your imagination as you tried to get your eyes to focus on your hands. You only saw blurs anymore, but that didn’t stop you from trying. However the feeling persisted, continuing as you turned your head away from your hands and got off the bench. You brushed your fingers on your watch with a butterfly touch, trying to read the the hands of the clock without moving them. Class was going to start in five minutes.
You kept your steps light as you counted the steps, purposefully dragging your feet to create sound for you to follow in the quickly receding crowd. The scraping sound bounced around the walls, giving you a good idea where you were as you slipped in the door and your form disappeared to the school.
The halls were loud even with the very few amount of kids there as you trudged through the halls to your English classroom, you liked it the most there out of all your classes. Quiet, and the kid seemed to be the nicest in that class oddly enough. The librarian that taught the class was also very nice. She treated you like a normal kid and gave you some really good braille books from her personal shelf, not from the school.
You felt her smile at you as she walked over to your desk in the decently sized room, a wooden space next to a small window which gave you a lot of sunlight. It was warm there, you always liked window. Stained glass too. The reflections with different colors against your skin always had different heat signatures. It felt so weird and cool.
You even made your own with glass shards and a mirror one time, with the supervision of the art teacher.
You heard as the teacher walked over and placed a book on your lap, “A fantasy, I think you’ll really like it. I did.”
You felt the raised font of the book, flipping the page to get it in braille. Just a Dream. You smiled, this would do. You placed the book into your bag and let your legs dangle from your seat easily as you waited for your class to file into the bright classroom and begin the day.
Maybe today wouldn’t be that bad.