Chapter Text
Ilya was back early this year. He couldn’t stand any more time in Russia and had made an excuse to return to Boston in early September. It was weird, being back in the city he adored– because he did love Boston– but not having practice. Hell, half of his team wasn’t even back yet. They were taking their final few glorious weeks to vacation, rest, and get the hell away from hockey before the new season started.
Typically, Ilya would be partying, fucking around, getting high– the usual debauchery he enjoyed filling his time with. But something was off. For once in his adult life Ilya had no desire to party, to fuck beautiful women or men, to go drink and smoke. Ilya had not idea what was wrong with him and he had no idea what to fill his time with. He had started exploring the city more, visiting museums, coffee shops, taking walks early in the mornings just to think. Boring. He was becoming boring.
This is how Ilya found himself walking through a farmer’s market at 8 am on a sunny September morning. The sun was bright and warm but the first hints of chill were beginning to creep into the air as autumn approached. Ilya looked around at all the different booths and stalls as he walked. He could smell freshly baked bread and coffee, see the produce, eggs, and crafts lining tables. He really did like the farmers’ market. It had such a sense of calm… of community. Everyone was so nice and he–
Suddenly Ilya was doubled over trying not to vomit as he breathed through getting punched in the balls. What the FUCK had just happened?
“OH MY GOD MAISIE NO!” He could hear someone yelling and then there was fur and a wet nose all in his face and a sloppy dog tongue licking all over his face.
“Oh my fucking god I am so sorry! Are you okay!? Maisie, come here RIGHT NOW!” A frantic voice cried out. Ilya caught his breath enough to see a small blonde woman frantically grabbing a celestial patterned leash and trying to put herself between an incredibly excited border collie and Ilya.
“Your dog… just punched me in the balls–” Ilya said, unsure of if it sounded like a surprised statement or a question. The dog was back jumping and licking. A big wet tongue made a swipe up his face getting both his mouth and his nose. Ilya spluttered and wiped his face.
“Jesus fucking… Maisie, no! Sit.” the woman ordered. The dog put her bottom on the ground slowly, trembling with excitement.
“Down.” The woman said and the dog lowered to the ground partially. She looked like she was in more of a pouncing position than a resting position. One wrong move and she would be on Ilya again.
“Maisie. All the way.” The woman said, voice sounding strained. The dog flattened itself onto the ground and put its head on its paws.
“I am so so so sorry! Are you okay?” The woman said, turning her attention to Ilya now that the dog seemed settled for a moment, “She can be a real nightmare. I don’t know what’s with her and punching people in the crotch. She does it all the time and I cannot get her to stop. It’s like a beacon. She sees a guy and thinks ah yes, time to assault hiim.”
“Is okay,” Ilya said, finally straightening up, “she is… ah… eager.”
“You could say that I guess, haha. Are you okay, though? Seriously?” The woman placed a hand on Ilya’s arm.
“Yes, I am okay. What is her name?” Ilya asked looking at the dog now that he wasn’t on the verge of puking.
“Oh, this is Maisie.” The woman said. At the sound of her name, Maisie’s tail started thumping aggressively on the pavement.
“Maise! May I pet her?” Ilya asks, a grin splitting his face. He loved dogs. Even dogs that punched him in the dick.
The woman laughed. “Absolutely, if you want to.”
Ilya spent the next few minutes kneeling on the pavement and petting Maisie who was so excited. She was pressing her side into him and licking his face and ears and hands, trembling with excitement.
Ilya had found out the woman’s name was Ellie when she introduced herself. She had not recognized Ilya, which was refreshing. They had chatted about Maisie and Ilya had learned that Ellie brought her to the farmers’ market every Saturday to practice polite social skills. Ellie wanted Maisie to become a therapy dog, but Maisie loved people a little too much to pass the training.
“Still needs practice, but very good girl,” Ilya had said as he kissed Maisie’s fluffy face.
“Yeah, I know right. She’s hot mess.” Ellie had laughed.
Ilya hadn’t known what had possessed him, but he had asked Ellie. “Maybe I help her practice manners? I love dogs but do not have one.”
“Um, yeah sure! I think that would probably be good for her if you want to.”
Ellie instructed Ilya what to do/not do as she worked with Maisie. He had sat on a bench as Ellie walked Maisie by him multiple times, encouraging Ellie to ignore him. Then he had walked up to Maisie and Ellie slowly as Ellie encouraged Maisie to stay seated. The hardest was ignoring Maisie when she would jump. Ilya wanted to snuggle, pet, and play with her but Ellie had told him he had to stand up and turn his back to her anytime she started jumping. They continued like that for an hour or so until Maisie had finally laid down underneath Ellie’s feet on a park bench and let out a long groan.
“She is tired.” Ilya observed
“Yeah, a lot of mental exercise today!” Ellie said then made a face. “Hey, um, I realized I don’t know your name!”
“Ilya. Ilya Rozanov.” Ilya had said, waiting to see if she would recognize his name.
“Cool! Is that… European? Russian?”
“Yes, Russian.”
They had continued to chat for a while until a fan had spotted Ilya and approached him for a selfie. Ellie watched curiously as more people started approaching, noticing Ilya after the first photo was taken..
She sat criss cross on the park bench, Maisie ignored the approaching fans surprisingly well. After, Ellie had asked what Ilya did, admitting she did not know who he was.
“I play hockey.” Ilya answered simply.
“Really?” Ellie sounded shocked. Not shocked like in awe, but shocked like she never would have suspected. Ilya looked at her curiously.
“Oh, um sorry. I just mean… Okay so don’t take offense but like you definitely aren’t giving professional hockey player vibes right now. I was getting more broken hearted traumatized bisexual who reads poetry and tries to make sadness seem romantic.”
Ilya stared at her wide eyed. What the fuck?
“I mean, okay. You look freaked out. My bad. I mean it’s just the fit, the vibe? You look like a sad gay golden retriever.”
“A… what?” Ilya blanched then without thinking, “How do you know I am bisexual?”
“So you are!” Ellie chirped, “Gaydar for the win, hellyeah!”
Fuck. Fuck fuck fuck. Fuck.
“I mean– no. I - what” Ilya must have sounded panicked, but he was so surprised and scared English left him and he couldn’t explain. Ellie looked at him concerned.
“Hey woah, it’s okay. I’m so sorry. I wasn’t trying to out you or anything.”
“I do not, I am not– No one can know.” Ilya finally managed.
“Who the fuck am I going to tell? I mean I guess I could make a tumblr post about it or something. I bet the hockey tumblr would like lose their shit, but I’m not going to do that to you.”
Ilya opened and closed his mouth like a fish. What was tumblr? Ellie started at him and then took a breath.
“Hey, okay. It’s okay. Um. Tumblr is a website, kind of like twitter and instagram. It’s filled with nerds, fandom stuff, a bunch of indie hipsters, and porn. There are people on there who ship all sorts of things and so I’m sure there’s someone running a gay hockey tumblr who would lose their shit right now, but I’m not going to tell anybody! It’s none of my business. I’m going to guess that hockey isn’t totally gay friendly or anything and you’re from like Russia so that probably makes it hella dangerous for you and like I’m not out to like my family or anything either so I get how that would totally suck so I’m not going to tell anyone. But I do have to say I’m really proud I clocked it.”
“You… What… This is very difficult to understand,” Ilya said, sitting and staring at Ellie as she leaned back on the bench. He couldn’t put together all these English words, but he caught on to one thing “You are not out either?”
“Yeah, hey, fellow bisexual here.” Ellie said shooting finger guns in Ilya’s direction.
Ilya took a breath. He was floored. He had never experienced anything like this. “How–”
“How did I know about you?” Ellie asked, grinning.
“Yes,” Ilya said.
“Eh, just a vibe. I mean, first of all I pride myself as a member of the superwholock fandom and Sherlock is such an obsession for me. I spent a lot of time on tumblr figuring out how to read people. Maybe I’m also just good at pattern recognition. But anyway, first, my dear Ilya. You are dressed completely gay. Very queer coded, y’know. I thought that was on purpose? Like you were signaling other queer people.”
“No, what? What is gay about my clothes??”
“Well first of all, you’re wearing a pair of teal athletic shorts that hit you mid thigh with some high top converse. Secondly, you’re wearing a Panic! At the Disco Too Weird to Live Too Rare to Die tee shirt which has the iconic Boys/Boys/Girls song on the album with a black checked flannel with the sleeves rolled up. And you have a fucking chain around your neck with a backwards ballcap and sunglasses. Gay. It’s the gayest fucking outfit I have ever seen. Well, maybe not the gayest. But it definitely reads as I like boys and girls.”
Ilya looked down at his outfit. He hadn’t thought about it.
“Secondly, you were at farmers market by yourself and you’re a man. Thirdly, I saw you checking out some guys ass an hour ago and you were both checking out but also very respectfully engaging with the women who came to get selfies with you.”
“So because I looked at man and was nice to women I am bisexual?”
“Yeah basically. Add in the outfit and just sort of your mannerisms from the day and I clocked it as bi. Like I said though, I’m not going to tell anyone.”
And that was how Ilya had made himself a chaotic bisexual best friend. Ellie had given Ilya her number in case he wanted to see Maisie again, or talk. She promised she wouldn’t out him to anyone. And it had snowballed from there. Over the span of the next three weeks Ilya had begun texting her, they hung out when Ellie wasn’t at work. Ellie showed him tumblr. And Ilya had slowly begun to open up to Ellie. She was uncannily observant and blunt and funny. Ilya liked her a lot.
Ilya had her and Maisie over for dinner at his penthouse. They went to the aquarium. They went to the farmer’s market. Ellie took him to book stores and introduced him to the show Supernatural. By the time October and the beginning of the season came around, Ilya was shocked to discover that he had a best friend. A best friend who knew he wasn’t straight. A best friend who knew nothing about hockey.