Chapter Text
Meeting the rest of the Shiba’s starts with yelling, an explosion, and even more yelling. All told, Ichigo isn’t sure what he expected.
Between Ichigo being so injured and Kana struggling for the first few days to get a hang of navigating with her newly impaired vision, not to mention to finish healing through the various bruises and the sprain to her leg from the hollow attack, it had taken Kaien a week to get them back to his family’s main compound. Or their family’s compound now, Ichigo supposes.
"Unlike the Kuchiki’s we Shiba’s prefer not to live in Seireitei,” Kaien explained. Not that it overly surprised Ichigo, having met his Kuukaku and Ganju.
Which is how they found themselves now, standing in front of the main building, watching as smoke forms clouds over the building a little to the right of the expansive Shiba lands. Kaien watches on with his usual grin but his reiatsu is tinged with what Ichigo’s come to recognise as concern. “…don’t mind the explosions. Those are common around here,” Kaien says, rubbing the back of his neck.
From where she’s wrapped around Ichigo’s back, Natsu giggles. “That sounds like fun,” she whispers in his ear.
Kaien pretends not to hear even though she’s not nearly as quiet as she believes.
“I don’t think your Kaa-san would appreciate you blowing things up,” Ichigo whispers back, because the beam from Natsu is worth the eyeroll from Itarou at him playing along with her childish game.
“Kaa-san doesn’t haveta know,” Natsu argues.
A cough from Kana who’s standing next to Kaien with a distinctly unimpressed look makes Natsu wilt and hide behind Ichigo’s neck.
“What the Shiba’s get up to is their business,” Kana says magnanimously, “but you won’t be getting involved with anything exploding or otherwise. Shiba-sama has very kindly allowed us into his home, and we’ll not be endangering that home, or the people in it. Am I clear?”
“Yes Kaa-san,” Natsu says, Itarou’s agreement chiming in.
Kana quirks a smile while Kaien chuckles. “You can just call me Kaien, Kana-san,” Kaien says. “It’s going to be rather difficult otherwise, given all the Shibas.” It isn’t the first time Kaien has said as much, but Ichigo can tell from the way Kana looks right now, she hadn’t truly realised how many Shibas there were.
Ichigo can’t blame her. He’s also feeling overwhelmed by how many people he can feel and see. Kuukaku had always reminisced over just how many Shibas there were before their fall from grace, but Ichigo had figured that was melancholy and exaggeration. He’s regretting not believing her now.
“Very well, Kaien-sama,” Kana relents.
“Can we eat something now, Kaien-sama?” Itarou asks, looking up at the shinigami from where he’s holding Kana’s hand.
At the mention of food, Natsu perks up and squirms with excitement. Concerned that she’s going to fall, Ichigo shifts the little girl until she’s in his arms princess style instead, rolling his eyes at how entertained she seems by the way he easily flips her around. Still, it’s good to see the kids in high spirits after everything that happened.
“Food, food, food!” Natsu cheers.
Kana sighs at her children. “I’m sorry, Kaien-sama.”
“Don’t be!” Kaien assures, finally ushering them inside the house, ignoring the curious looks from the various servants. “It’s been a long day and there hasn’t been much food to go around this week. Being around me can’t have helped either, what with my reiatsu and your own reiatsu reserves being empty.”
Offering a smile, Kana nods and doesn’t argue. “We’re in your debt,” she says instead.
Kaien waves her off but doesn’t say anything else.
They follow the hallway right and enter into a large room. The smoking hole in the ceiling might explain the earlier explosion. Ichigo doesn’t bother listening to whatever argument it’s sparked, but he does note the sheepish grins they give Kaien as they wave to him.
Kaien shakes his head fondly and grins when he waves back but he doesn’t pause in ushering them through into another hallway and then a slightly smaller room. There are several low tables with chopsticks on rests already in place. Small pots of tea and jugs of water dot the table with cups stacked next them.
At the sight of Kaien, a servant rushes over and bows. She’s a young girl with dark brown hair and eyes to match. “Kaien-sama! We’re glad that you’ve returned safely!” Her eyes dart over to Ichigo and back, and her body practically vibrates with anticipation.
“It sounds like you didn’t trust me to come back safely, Chika-chan,” Kaien teases, ignoring her flustered apologies. “But yes, I’ve come back with our newest addition. Ichigo, this is Chika-chan. Her mother is the head-chef here. Chika-chan, would you mention to Riko-san that I have a few extras and we’d really appreciate whatever she can whip up quickly.”
Chika grins brightly and bows. “Of course, Kaien-sama! Okaa-san will be thrilled to hear the news!” she says. She pauses to offer a deep bow to Ichigo before darting off.
It’s rather disconcerting and all in all, Ichigo would prefer not to be bowed at like he was someone important ever again. Zangetsu cackles in the back of his mind, clearly amused by how uncomfortable his shinigami is. Asshole.
Turning to them, Kaien offers a slightly apologetic smile. “Everyone is going to know about you before the days out, Ichigo-kun,” Kaien says. “You guys too.”
Ichigo grunts. Not like he was going to stay a secret in the first place. “Where will Kana and the kids be staying?” he asks, as they all take a seat.
“The servants and retainers have a separate building towards the back of the compound. I’ll take you over after we eat something and we’ll find some spare rooms to set them up in,” Kaien says. “Once you’re better, Kana-san, you’ll be expected to pitch in where you can, but don’t hesitate to let me know if anything is troubling you. Ichigo cares for you, so I do as well. I don’t want you being uncomfortable.”
Part of Ichigo blanches at the idea that he’s adding burdens onto a family who doesn’t even know him and that, realistically, he doesn’t know either, but he holds his tongue. If keeping his mouth shut means Natsu and Itarou can grow up safe and healthy, then it’s a small price to pay. And what’s a little extra guilt when he already has a mountain of it?
Zangetsu radiates irritation at his thoughts, but doesn’t say anything, which Ichigo is thankful for.
Kana smiles. “I wouldn’t have wanted to stay here for free. Thank you so much, Kaien-sama. I will do my best to recover quickly so that we’re not a burden to you.”
The conversation pauses as Chika rushes in with a tray in hand. An older woman trails behind her, grey hair in a pixie cut and an amused look on her face. “If you drop that food, Chika-chan, I’ll be most unimpressed,” she calls out in warning, when Chika clips the corner of one of the low tables on her way over.
Chika flushes. “I’m sorry, Okaa-san,” she says, still barely slowing in her mission.
Her mother shakes her head, mumbling under her breath.
Before long, the table is filled with bowls of rice and miso soup, and platters of tempura fried vegetables and meat.
Itarou and Natsu eye the table with wide eyes.
Tugging on the sleeve of Ichigo’s shihakusho, he glances over to see Natsu looks up at him, eyes practically sparkling. “Can I really eat something this fancy?” she whispers.
His lips quirk. “Of course you can,” he says, already reaching across the table and placing some chicken and vegetables on her rice. “Eat. Itadakimasu.”
Maybe he should have waited for Kaien to say something. There’s probably some old rule about the most important person starting the meal, but Kaien isn’t telling him off, and Ichigo doesn’t really care when his own stomach aches with emptiness. His reserves still feel abysmally low compared to usual and the food might help with that. He remembers something about normal shinigami or spirits needing to eat when they have reiatsu. Not for the first time, he wishes he listened more to everyone’s stories about Soul Society.
Or that Kisuke hadn’t put him in this position in the first place. That would have been better.
Kana does the same for Itarou, filling his bowl with a healthy mix before taking food herself. The excited comments from Itarou snap Ichigo from his thoughts.
With her first bite, Natsu lights up and begins eating through her food with lightning speed. Ichigo commits their excitement to memory as he begins to eat his own food. It’s not as good as Yuzu’s cooking but it’s a lot better than anything he’s eaten in… he’s not sure how long.
“Ichigo, Ichigo,” Natsu says through a half-full mouth.
“Finish chewing first, Natsu,” Kana scolds.
Natsu huffs and does as she’s told before she looks up at Ichigo with expectant eyes. Pausing in his eating, he raises an eyebrow at her.
“Do you think that I could learn to cook yummy food like this?” she asks.
There’s a longing in Ichigo’s blood at that comment. Suddenly, he’s not in the Shiba compound but back at home, eating with Yuzu and Karin before their mother died, and Yuzu is saying those exact words. It tears through him like a blunt knife through paper—roughly and with no finesse. His breathing feels completely wrong but then he blinks and he’s looking at Natsu again and she’s eying him expectantly, waiting for a response. Swallowing, he nods. “Yeah. You definitely could.”
Natsu beams and then returns to eating her food, but Ichigo feels the Kaien’s gaze heavy over his person. Thankfully, he doesn’t say anything, instead diverting everyone’s attention to asking what Itarou might want to learn, since Natsu wants to learn cooking.
Ichigo doesn’t speak for the rest of the meal.
It’s late evening when Kaien comes to find him. Ichigo had wandered off once he was sure that Kana and the kids were safe and settled, and somehow, he’s ended up a little bit away from the main buildings, across a small bridge on a little island surrounded by a meandering pond-turned-river. He senses Kaien’s approach as he watches the koi swim.
For a while, neither of them says anything.
Finally, Kaien breaks the silence. “I’m not going to ask, you know,” he says. Ichigo doesn’t reply but he continues on unperturbed. “I’m sure you’ve gone through plenty of shit and it’s not easy to get through that, and if you want to talk, I’m here. But I’m not going to make you.”
Glancing over at Kaien, Ichigo analyses him. There’s a sad understanding in those eyes. Not the understanding that comes from being in Ichigo’s position the way that Shinji and Shunsui look. Or looked, Ichigo supposes, now. They’re the eyes of someone whose seen people like him before. Endless patience and comfort. Somehow, that makes Ichigo’s skin crawl more. Anger is so much easier to deal with than this shit.
He doesn’t respond and for a while, they just stand in silence, enjoying the breeze and thinking on their own. Finally, Ichigo sighs. “Is that all you came out here for?” he asks. It’s blunt, borderline rude, but he’s only being honest. He’s tired. The kind of tired that comes from years of endless fighting and the loss of a fucking soul bond and every other bond that he had because here in this world, he’s alone, and every time he thinks about that it’s so overwhelming. The crushing desire to go home counterbalanced by the desire to fix everything—to protect everyone in a way he couldn’t have in his own time. It’s a lot for any sane person, let alone someone that hasn’t been entirely sane for a long time.
Kaien smiles at him. “Mostly, yeah. Can’t have my baby cousin being this wary of me all the time.”
Ichigo’s brain screeches to a halt at the reference to their ties. His melancholy is pushed aside for the moment as he rounds on Kaien. “Baby cousin?” he asks, unimpressed.
If anything, Kaien looks entertained by the offended look on his face and the way Ichigo unconsciously bears the weight of his reiatsu down on the other man. Kaien winces but otherwise doesn’t seem nearly as affected as Ichigo would have expected. Either everyone was right about him being a genius with great power, or Ichigo is still operating at a fraction of his power, for whatever reason. He’s leaning more towards the latter. Nothing about his idiot cousin is screaming ‘genius’ to him.
“Yeah. Baby cousin. You’re young and lost, and I’ve found you so you’ll be adopted by my branch of the family, but I thought little brother might be a bit much for you, so baby cousin!”
Kaien has the audacity to look so damn proud of himself as he says it and Ichigo’s hand twitches over not-Zangetsu’s hilt. It would be so easy to knock this idiot out right now. He fights down the urge. Kaien isn’t like his people. He probably won’t have the reflexes to dodge like Kisuke would, or the ability to parry Zangetsu with a bare hand like Shinji could thanks to hierro. “I’m not a baby, Kaien,” he says.
Kaien pouts—and he’s trying to call Ichigo a baby?!—and then looks down at him with twinkling eyes and an imperious smirk. It’s eerily similar to the look Byakuya used to wear sometimes. “Well, as Clan Head, I’m exorcising my rights, and that’s that.”
“What the fuck?” Ichigo says emphatically. Closing his eyes, he focuses on the whisper of Ossan trying to calm him and ignores Zangetsu’s goading. Re-opening his eyes, he narrows them but forces himself to let go of his irritation. Not his strong suit, but he’s learnt a few things through the wars.
His eyes snap to the side at the feeling of new reiatsu approaching. “Kaien, you bastard. We’ve been waiting for ages! You’re meant to bring the new kid back with you for dinner, you idiot!”
Kuukaku’s voice is both a familiar balm and another cut to his tenuous grip on reality.
Kaien grins sheepishly, dodging slow enough that her hit to the back of his head is much lighter than it would have been otherwise. “Sorry, Kuukaku-chan. I got distracted chatting. Ichigo, meet Kuukaku, my sister.”
Looking at Kuukaku, he clocks her person carefully, detailing every difference. She has both of her arms, and she looks much lighter than when he last saw her. He deliberately pushes away the images of Ganju dead in her arms, bloody hole through his chest- stop thinking about it.
“Good to meet you, Ichigo-kun! We’re always happy to add another to family. Don’t spend too much time with this idiot, I think he’s contagious.” Kuukaku ignores Kaien’s squawk of offence with a grin. “When you’re ready, come inside and we’ll introduce you to the rest of the family. I know Ganju, our little brother, has been super excited to meet you.”
With that said, Kuukaku turns and begins stalking back to the main house. Ichigo’s heart aches at the familiar whirlwind that is Kuukaku and her no-nonsense demanding attitude. She’d pissed him off, but Ichigo didn’t love her any less for that.
“Sorry about her,” Kaien says, when he’s certain she’s out of earshot.
Ichigo huffs an almost laugh. “Are you all like that?”
Kaien grins. “Most of us. We’re an outgoing and friendly bunch. Kuukaku is one of a kind though,” he says. He looks impossibly fond when he says it and Ichigo softens a little himself.
“You’d better keep your crazy family under control while we eat,” Ichigo says, heading back towards the main house after a beat. A small part of him is pleased at the way Kaien rushes after him, almost slipping into shunpo.
“Oi, don’t walk off on me like that,” Kaien whines.
Seriously, how is this guy an adult? Recalling vaguely the direction of the dining hall, Ichigo heads towards it, Kaien humming to himself as they walk side by side once he’s caught up. They pause outside of the room, and Ichigo winces at how loud it sounds even behind the shut doors. Shouting and cheering. Much louder than Ichigo prefers his meals. But it also reminds him of better times. The times early on in the war when everyone was still alive, and they all ate and drank together and tried to pretend the world around them wasn’t going to complete shit.
‘They’re alive again, Ichigo,’ Ossan reminds him gently, shaking him from the memory of Hiyori tackling Shinji for stealing a piece of her karaage.
“Hey Ichigo,” Kaien says. His voice is more serious than it had been. Ichigo pauses in opening the door, tilting his head at Kaien. “Don’t forget. It’s not ‘your crazy family’ anymore.”
“Hah?” Ichigo asks.
“It’s our crazy family.” Kaien smiles sadly. “We can’t replace the people you’ve lost, but the people in this room? They’re your family now too. Just as long as you want us to be.”
Ichigo is momentarily stunned by the reminder. That’s right. This is his family now. Or at least, sort of.
Thankfully, Kaien doesn’t pester him for a response. He just flings the door open and calls out a loud hello, distracting everyone from Ichigo’s presence for a few minutes. Ichigo will never admit it, but he appreciates the chance to regain his composure before he enters the room.
When he finally steps inside, he feels much better. Or rather, he feels surer of himself. The room quietens as he steps in, and Kaien pauses in drinking his way through bottle of sake. “Ah, right. Everyone, meet Ichigo, our newly recovered Shiba. He’ll be living here from now on, so make him feel welcome,” Kaien announces.
“I’ll toast to that!” someone yells from a table towards the back of the room, and Kaien laughs brightly with some others, raising his bottle and then going back to gulping it down. Someone from across the room calls back, “You’d toast to just about anything, you old bastard!” and then it turns into a verbal battle across the room.
Scanning the room, Ichigo spots Kana at a small table and opts to sit with them instead of over by Kuukaku who offers him a lazy wave. He nods back to be polite before settling next to Itarou.
“Ichigo!” Itarou greets. He’s not grinning as bright as Natsu, but he looks more cheerful than the last time he saw the boy.
At his look, Kana grins. “They had a nap this afternoon and they’re feeling much better.”
“The bed was soooo comfy, Ichigo!” Natsu says, regaling him with how cloudlike it was and how much she felt like a princess, punctuated by Itarou commenting here and there. Ichigo let them talk, focusing on the familiar voices in a room that’s overwhelmingly full.
He fights the urge to twitch every time something loud happens, or he feels someone brush against him. He’s hyperaware that there’s the door he came in through, a couple windows to his left that lead out into the halls of the compound, and another door eight metres away at the back of the room.
“Is your room as cool as ours?” Natsu asks, drawing Ichigo’s attention back.
Ichigo hums. “Dunno. Haven’t seen it yet.”
Itarou blinks up at him with wide eyes. “Can I see your room when you do get to see it?” he asks.
“No fair!” Natsu complains. “I want to see Ichigo’s room too!”
Putting a hand on Itarou’s head, Ichigo quells the fight before it gets out of hand. “If Kana is okay with it, you can see my room tomorrow. Tonight, you should rest.”
Natsu whines loudly but Itarou nods in understanding. There’s a slight downturn of his lips that indicate he’s unhappy about it, but he’s trying to be good. It makes Ichigo’s heart ache at how similar it is to the way Karin would try not to look upset when he came home with bruises and cuts.
“If you two are good, and Ichigo-dono is okay with it, then you two can see his room tomorrow,” Kana agrees, unwavering even in the face of Natsu’s wide eyed stare. Ichigo is forever impressed by how mother’s all have that same ability to say no to their children.
“Fiiiine.”
Kana nods with pleasure at her agreement, a soft smile tugging at her lips.
The rest of their meal passes easily, and before long Itarou is yawning, blinking tiredly through half-closed eyes as he struggles to stay seated at the table. Ichigo catches him when he lilts forward dangerously.
“Time for bed, I see,” Kana says with a laugh when Natsu isn’t much better.
“Nuh uh,” Natsu says, “I’m wide awake!” Her vehemence is ruined by the way her body falls against Kana’s, curling towards the safety and comfort of her mother with a pleased smile.
Kana’s eyes flick to Ichigo’s and her lips twitch. “Is that so?” she says.
Ichigo doesn’t chuckle, but he’s helpless against the smile tugging at his lips. He commits this moment to memory.
Careful not to shift Itarou too much, Ichigo gets up from his seat and gathers Itarou into his arms. “Are you going to be okay with her?” he asks, nodding towards Natsu.
Kana laughs and nods. “This is not the first time this has happened,” she assures him. With practiced movements, Kana gets up from the seat and begins to herd Natsu out of the room, guiding the half-asleep girl with a gentle hand to dodge the various still drinking and eating patrons. Before they leave the room, Ichigo offers a wave to Kaien while Kana pauses to bow properly. They receive a nod and a wave in return.
It’s silent between Kana and Ichigo as they walk through the halls. Ichigo doesn’t mind, merely enjoying the peace. Now that he’s out of the dining room, he feels a lot more relaxed. How long as it been since he was last surrounded by so many people that he didn’t trust for any reason other than to kill them? Probably high school. A simpler time, he thinks sardonically.
“Do you want me to take Itarou from you?” Kana asks.
Blinking, Ichigo realises that they’ve made it to their room already. With a slight shake of his head, Ichigo follows her into the room and places Itarou gently on the futon that Kana directs him to. Itarou pouts in his sleep before it smooths as he snuggles into the blanket that Ichigo tucks around him. Ichigo snorts.
On the futon a little away, Natsu sleepily smiles at him. “G’night Ichigo. Make sure to play with us more t’morrow. I wan’a see your room,” she mumbles out, words a little hard to decipher on account from how her face is squished in to the soft pillow.
Kana laughs quietly and places a kiss on her daughter’s forehead. “Sleep, Natsu.”
Natsu doesn’t reply, already fast asleep.
Awkward and unsure, Ichigo nods towards Kana. “I’ll let you rest now,” he says. Retreating towards the door, he pauses when Kana coughs. Looking over his shoulder, he raises an eyebrow.
Kana smiles softly. It tugs at the scar across her eye and Ichigo swallows against the rising guilt he’s been pushing aside since the hollow attack. “Thank you, Ichigo-dono. For everything.”
Is this how Kisuke always felt when Ichigo thanked him? Because the searing burn of those words was worse than hearing Kana scream about how she blames him for every misfortune in her life. He feels a pang of sympathy for his Kisuke before recalling that his Kisuke is the reason Ichigo is in this situation in the first place. Then the sympathy fades to something closer to vindication.
“There’s nothing you should thank me for,” Ichigo says, pushing away the simmering anger and focusing on Kana. The fact of the matter is, Ichigo didn’t protect her and the kids fast enough. He wasn’t strong enough, yet again. He doesn’t deserve her thanks.
Kana shakes her head. “You’re wrong, Ichigo-dono. You saved us. We’d be dead without you. And now we even have a new home. My children will grow up healthier and safer than I could have ever asked for,” she argues softly but firmly.
Ichigo swallows. Logically he knows she’s right, but it’s not enough. It’s not enough to make up for all his failures. Chad, Ishida, Orihime and his sisters. Rukia, Renji, Hiyori, Mashiro. So many lives lost, all because he’s still not enough. And he’ll never be strong enough to bring them back. Not the ones that were his anyway.
“Ichigo-sama?” Kana prompts. There’s concern in her eyes and Ichigo turns away from it, suddenly aware that he’d lost himself in front of someone again. He needs to stop that.
‘Then stop facing backwards and face forwards,’ Zangetsu snaps from in his mind.
Ichigo doesn’t respond. He wishes it was that easy.
“It’s nothing, Kana. Sleep well.” Ichigo doesn’t wait for her to reply before he sweeps out of the room. It’s not quite shunpo at first, but within moments he’s flying across the Shiba courtyard.
He doesn’t really have a destination in mind. All he knows is that right now, he needs to get away. This is… all a lot. Too much. Like it always does, Ichigo’s chest aches with the severed soul bond. It rings brighter—hotter—at times like this. He grits his teeth against it; flies further, moving faster. He is shunpoing now, or maybe he’s using hirenkyaku or sonido. He’s not entirely sure, he just knows that it’s helping. The wind whips against him, almost painful as he pushes himself.
His body aches at the intensity of the movement. He’s still not fully recovered from the attacks. No matter how much he rests, he doesn’t feel quite back up to par. Hasn’t since being flung into this new timeline.
He’s so distracted by his need to just move that he doesn’t notice someone else is around until a voice calls out the incantation for Hainawa.
His mind goes blank and, for a second, every movement is instinctual. It barely takes a thought to break the kidou and then he’s swinging around, Zangetsu in hand. Another zanpakutou meets his own in a crashing ring of steel against steel.
“Ichigo!”
The haze clears at the shout of his name and Ichigo winces at way Kaien’s eyes bore into him, filled with empathy and concern. Fuck.
Withdrawing his blade, Ichigo shunpos a few steps back and watches Kaien carefully. “What the fuck, Kaien?”
Kaien’s eyebrows crease. “I should be asking you that. What’s going on? Are you okay? Is there a hollow attack?” he asks.
Ichigo scoffs. ‘Not unless you count me and my fucked up zanpakutou,’ he thinks.
‘Oi, fuckin’ rude!’ Zangetsu complains. It relaxed him, this is familiar ground. Arguing with his spirits is normal. About the only normal thing he has left.
‘You’re so melodramatic.’
Ichigo rolls his eyes mentally.
“Ichigo?”
“No, Kaien. There’s no hollow attack,” he says, refocusing on the man in front of him.
Kaien frowns even more. Ichigo can almost see the second Kaien realises that it’s just Ichigo himself being distressed.
“Do you… want to talk about it?” Kaien offers.
Ichigo scoffs. “Definitely not,” he says. “There’s nothing to talk about.”
Nothing that Kaien could make sense of at least. How would that conversation even go? ‘Hey, I’ve just travelled back in time or into a new dimension because my soul bond partner decided that should happen and, in the process, he tore both our souls apart. Oh, and also, I didn’t even know we were bonded until after it happened. And on top of that, I’m coming from a time when half my friends were dead, the universe was literally falling to pieces, and half those people don’t even exist yet.’
Yeah, not happening.
The worried look in Kaien’s eyes doesn’t go away, but he doesn’t push. “Alright,” he agrees.
It’s silent between them for a while. Slowly, Ichigo begins to relax against his better judgement. There’s something about Kaien. Maybe it’s because they have such a similar reiatsu. Maybe it’s because he’s family. Maybe it’s because he knows that so many of his future friends trusted this man wholly and completely. No matter the reason, Ichigo feels more at ease around him.
“Oh, I still have to show you to your room,” Kaien says, breaking the silence at last. He grins, even though it doesn’t meet his eyes like it usually does. It’s clearly an attempt to move past the silence and awkwardness between them. Ichigo appreciates it, even if he feels bad for putting Kaien out like this. Maybe agreeing to join the Shiba’s wasn’t a good idea.
“The staff have been in a flurry trying to organise it. They wanted you to feel welcome and at home, so they’ve pulled out all the stops,” Kaien continues. “I can’t wait to show it to you.” There’s an unspoken ‘when you’re ready’ at the end of the statement and Ichigo nods slightly.
“They didn’t need to do that,” Ichigo says. He’s not worth the effort.
Kaien shrugs. “Of course not. But they wanted to,” he says. “It’s not up to you to decide for people where they put their energy or the decisions they make.”
Ichigo bristles against the scold before letting the fight fade. Kaien’s right, of course, but it doesn’t make him feel any better.
‘Oh shove your self-deprecation, King, or I’m going to take over so that Kaien doesn’t have to deal with your sorry ass,’ Zangetsu threatens.
It an empty threat. Ichigo and Zangetsu both know that he won’t actual do that—won’t risk upsetting the tentative balance of their soul any more than it already is. Still, Ichigo snorts at the idea. ‘You’d be more of a menace to him,’ Ichigo says.
He ignores the squawking in response and the thrum of content amusement from Ossan.
“Something funny?” Kaien asks. His eyes are following Ichigo’s every movement. It’s kinda creepy, but Ichigo gives him a pass given the events of the night so far. It’s not like he comes off as the most stable person around right now.
“No,” Ichigo says. “Let’s go back. Show me this fancy room or whatever.”
Kaien lights up and evidently the issue of Ichigo snickering to himself is dropped. He always forgets that none of the shinigami are like him. They don’t—or can’t—talk to their spirits without jinzen like he can. He’s special. And he doesn’t want to try and explain that to someone that can’t even begin to comprehend how fucked up Ichigo’s entire soul is.
“You’re going to love your room. And once you’ve had a chance to settle in and we file the paperwork, you’ll be added to the clan registry and officially a Shiba on paper. After that, we’ll hold a party to celebrate!” Kaien rambled on as they began to lazily shunpo back to the compound.
It takes a while for them to get back. Ichigo hadn’t realised just how far away he managed to get before Kaien stopped him.
He eyes the fukutaichou critically, assessing the Shiba and his reserves. Maybe it’s just because he’s used to overpowered megalomaniacs and taichous that have a lot more experience compared to Kaien, but he wouldn’t have pegged the man as an expert in shunpo. It makes sense though, given his easy connections to the Shihouins. Still, to catch up with him in a flurry like that, Kaien must’ve trained his ass off.
“You’re fast,” Ichigo says, cutting off whatever Kaien was about to say next.
It takes a second for Kaien to catch onto what he means before he grins. “Of course. I have to be to protect my squad,” he says.
Ichigo swallows. Soul King help him, he can understand why Rukia and Kuukaku always said they were so similar, even more so than just when it comes to looks. It makes it so hard to hate his… well, technically he is Ichigo’s cousin, right?
“You’re fast too,” Kaien says. His tone is light but there’s a question being asked. Not demanded, Kaien isn’t pushing.
Still, Ichigo finds he wants to give Kaien something. He deserves that much.
“A shopkeeper taught me. He was an ex-shinigami or something,” Ichigo explains. None of it is a lie. Kisuke had never truly reclaimed his position in the Gotei and while he reconnected with members of the Gotei, he never took over a squad again. Not even in the depths of the war when Ichigo took over for Byakuya.
Kaien’s eyes narrow. “There’s no such thing as an ex-shinigami. You don’t just- retire or something,” he says.
Ichigo shrugs, a slight smirk tugging at his lips when he feels the confusion and intrigue in Kaien’s reiatsu. “Tell him that. Not like I was asking for questions given the situation.”
Snorting, Kaien shook his eyes. The caution drains in an instant and his grin is back. “No, I guess you wouldn’t, being a brat in the outer-Rukon,” he agrees.
Ichigo doesn’t correct the misconception. Thinking of the outer-Rukon Ichigo looks over at Kaien. “Is it normal for shinigami to be so… hated?” he asks.
Kaien had been mostly well-received by the Chiyo and her fellow villagers, for all they were ruffians, but there was a distinct air of caution and distrust between them. After seeing the way Kana was attacked by shinigami, well, the entire thing wasn’t giving him confidence in the the purpose of the Gotei.
The skin between Kaien’s eyes pinches. “It’s… complicated,” he says.
Ichigo doesn’t say anything, just stares at Kaien in silence. He’s not glaring, but he doesn’t so much as blink until Kaien gives in and begins talking. It’s not like it can be any more complicated than being a shinigami-hollow-quincy hybrid raised as a human that’s travelled back in time.
“Look, shinigami exist to help keep the balance of the worlds. In the past, that hasn’t always translated to them making the best choices for those in Rukongai,” Kaien says. His voice is low and solemn and Ichigo almost regrets asking. But this sort of thing—it’s exactly the sort of thing he needs to know. “I wish that it wasn’t the case. I want to protect the people of Rukon as much as I want to protect my own squad. But it’s just not always possible. The Gotei is complicated.”
Humming, Ichigo doesn’t say anything else as they shunpo the rest of the way back to the compound. The look on Kaien’s face doesn’t fade until they’re safely inside the gates.
“Enough of that, let me show you to your room!” Kaien says. The cheer in his voice
rings false, but Ichigo doesn’t call him on it.
He memorises the twists and turns they take before arriving in front of a set of rooms closest to the path that leads to the bridge and the river he was watching earlier.
At Ichigo’s curious look, Kaien shrugs. His eyes are soft now. “When I told the staff you preferred your solitude, they decided this was the best room for you,” he says.
He goes to complain about it being unnecessary, even though he appreciates the thought, but Kaien places a hand over his mouth, grinning widely.
Ichigo’s fingers twitch, and it takes all his self-control to not wrench Kaien’s hand from his face and throw him several metres across the compound.
Kaien must realise something’s wrong because his hand drops away quickly, and he rubs the back of his neck sheepishly. “Sorry,” he says.
Ichigo grunts.
“But, before you complain, you should open the room and have a look,” Kaien continues.
Heaving a sigh, Ichigo prays for patience as he slides the shoji door open. His eyes trace the room. It’s simple but spacious, with a small wooden table and a handful of floor cushions to the side of the room, a pitcher of water and cups already laid out. There’s a futon set up already with light green sheets, but that’s not what really catches his attention. The room has a desk built-in below the window, paper and ink already laid out and a handful on books on the self of the desk. When was the last time he read a book?
A cough breaks Ichigo from his thoughts, and he bites back irritation at Kaien’s beaming face.
“They were right about the desk and books, huh?” he asks.
Ichigo grunts.
“I wouldn’t have pegged you for a guy that enjoys reading, but Riko-san insisted after meeting you. I should know better than to second guess her,” Kaien continues, chuckling. He hesitates for a second, wavering. “Unless of course you can’t read and you’re just excited to learn?”
Ichigo narrows his eyes. Does he look like that much of an idiot?
“It’s okay if you can’t-” Kaien rushes to add, an apology on his lips.
Ichigo rolls his eyes. “I can read,” he says finally. It’s so difficult understanding what’s normal and what isn’t here. What year was it in the human world, that the education is this abysmal?
“Great!” Kaien says. He doesn’t ask Ichigo how he learnt, and Ichigo doesn’t offer the information. Instead, Kaien cheerfully waves towards the closet that Ichigo hadn’t taken notice of. “There are clothes in there for you. Feel free to wear whatever you like. We tried to dig up stuff that would fit, but we can go shopping for proper stuff later. I know Kuukaku will be thrilled to give you a hand.”
Ichigo shivers at the idea, but nods. He can’t think of anything worse than going on a shopping trip, especially with someone like Kuukaku.
It’s silent for a second before Kaien coughs nervously. “Right. Uh, I’ll just leave you to settle in. If you need anything, just call out and a servant will give you a hand…”
The Shiba head backs out of the room, still grinning.
Looking back from the room, Ichigo winces. He’s been so quiet about everything. After all his protests, he should probably say something, right? Yuzu would scold him for being impolite if he didn’t. The thought brings memories that are equal parts bitter and happy to mind. Even still, just as the door is sliding shut, Kaien fading from view, he swallows and calls out. “Kaien?”
The door pauses, slightly open still. “Yeah?” Kaien looks at him, mostly shadowed by the paper door.
Ichigo swallows against the emotions warring in him. “Thank you.” It feels awkward to say and not enough. Still, Kaien is like the sun, beaming at Ichigo like he’s given an entire speech.
“Of course, baby cousin!”
The door is shut before Ichigo can even think to shout at him for the nickname.
What an aggravating person, he thinks, looking over at the small desk again.
Ichigo’s lips twitch.
“Woah, your room is so cool, Ichigo!” Natsu shouts as she runs around the room, enthralled by the books and the few scrolls hanging from the walls, and the little table in the corner of the room with an expensive looking vase on it. Itarou follows behind his sister pretending he’s not just as excited, looking at everything with sparkling eyes.
“Can you read, Ichigo?” he asks, as his small hands clutch the bound cover of one of the books.
Ichigo grunts as he walks over to Itarou, abandoning his post of the door. “Sure.”
Itarou’s sparkling wide eyes look up at Ichigo like they’re looking at him in an entirely new light. “That’s so cool! Then, what does this say?” Itarou asks, flipping the book open on the desk to point at the characters just inside the book.
“The Tale of Genji,” Ichigo reads, then snorts. Of course.
Derailed from her investigation of Ichigo’s closet, Natsu runs over to them. “What’s the Tale of Genji?” she asks.
Ichigo hums. “It’s the tale of Genji, the son of an emperor, and his life,” he summarises. It was a novel he knew well from high school, and it was almost amusing how much he hated it then but would love nothing more than to read the familiar pages again now.
“Can you read it to us?” Itarou asks.
“Yes, read to us, Ichigo!” Natsu parrots.
Ichigo sighs, acting put out but highly entertained by the puppy eyes being directed his way. He always was a sucker for kids. “How about this. If you two are good today and don’t cause anyone problems, then I’ll read some to you tonight,” he offers.
There’s much whining from the two about wanting to hear him read now, but Ichigo just stares at them impassively.
Coughed laughter attracts their attention. Ichigo glances over to an amused Kuukaku and Kana standing in his doorway. Their arrival isn’t a shock—he’d felt their approach. Kana’s faint reiatsu is quickly becoming one of those he recognises instantly, in the same way Kuukaku’s is one he could never forget, even slightly different as it is now.
“I believe Ichigo-dono has already been kind enough to agree to read to you later,” Kana says, lightly scolding.
Natsu’s lips drop into a pout while Itarou wilts. “Yes, Kaa-san,” they both mumble.
Gently, Ichigo ruffles their hair. “Go on with Kana,” he says, pushing them towards the door. Kuukaku wouldn’t be hunting him down for no reason. For all her easy-going attitude, she’s a busy woman.
“But Ichigoooo,” Natsu complains, “we wanna play with you some more!”
“Sorry brats, but I’m stealing Ichigo-kun away for a bit,” Kuukaku says with a snort, grinning at the pouts they direct her way this time.
Ichigo raises an eyebrow at her wave for him to follow her.
“We’ll see you later, Ichigo!” Natsu calls over her shoulder as the kids are herded away,
“They like you a lot,” Kuukaku says, once the group is out of sight.
Ichigo shrugs. “I saved them,” he says. They’re just kids, they’re clinging to the safety he offers and the familiarity in a new place, he doesn’t explain.
Scoffing, Kuukaku hits him in the back of his head. The movement isn’t so fast that he can’t dodge it, but Ichigo allows it. Relishes in the small piece of familiarity it offers him.
“You’re selling those brats short,” Kuukaku admonishes. “But whatever, we can deal with your appalling self-esteem another time. For now, Kaien mentioned that you might need to go shopping for some things. We’re wasting daylight.”
Ichigo frowns. “We don’t need to. This is good enough,” he says, looking down at the plain black kimono he’s donning. What he wouldn’t do for human clothing instead. Jeans and a t-shirt were so much easier and more comfortable. Still, he doesn’t need to look back to Kuukaku to know she disagrees. He can feel it in the way her reiatsu shivers in disgust.
“Rule number one of being a Shiba, when I offer to take you on an expense paid shopping trip, you don’t get to refuse,” Kuukaku informs him cheerfully.
He opens his mouth to protest before Ichigo wilts. He knows Kuukaku. Or knew her, once, long ago. And this Kuukaku, she’s younger and more carefree, but she’s still the same at the core. This is an effort in futility. “Fine,” he grunts after a second.
Kuukaku grins and wraps an arm around his shoulder dragging him down the hallway with glee. “Perfect. Then let’s go already!” she cheers.
For a minute, Ichigo allows the contact before slipping away from it, fighting the way his skin crawls. He doesn’t remember Kuukaku being this touchy before. Kaien is the same. A Shiba thing?
Ichigo tries to remember if his father was ever like that, but he can’t remember that being the case. He was always tough on Ichigo, more likely to throw a punch than offer a hug. But with the girls… yeah, he could see it. At least if either of them had allowed it. Karin would have sooner punched their father than accepted a hug for no reason, he knows.
“Not much of a talker, huh?” Kuukaku says, glancing back at him.
“Not when I don’t need to.”
Kuukaku sighs dramatically. “How boring. We’ll wear you down.” She grins wide and unburdened, and Ichigo’s heart aches with happiness at the sight.
Maybe this whole ‘sent back in time’ thing won’t be as terrible as it felt at first.
A few days pass and Ichigo is beginning to settle into life at the Shiba compound. It’s peaceful, apart from the near-daily explosions. There’s no shortage of people in the compound on any given day, but they mostly leave him alone, especially after the first couple times where he only grunted in acknowledgement of their greetings. Thankfully, none of them seem offended. These days, the younger ones just wave and the older ones nod and offer understanding smiles.
Still, there’s something about this place that just doesn’t sit quite right with him. Something that itches at his skin and keeps him on edge. Like someone’s lurking behind a corner, watching him and waiting for the right moment to strike. It’s disconcerting.
Or he’s become paranoid in his insanity. It’s as good as an explanation as any other at this point.
That doesn’t stop Ichigo from patrolling the grounds each night. He doesn’t really need that much sleep, and the images that haunt his mind every time he tries are a waste of his time. Circling the compound every night and making sure everyone inside is safe is much more productive.
Ichigo is doing exactly that when he feels it. The fluctuation is slight, but it’s enough for Ichigo to recognise his kidou wards going off. Without a wasted movement, he turns around and shunpos across the courtyard in seconds. Why would someone be in his room?
Distantly, he’s glad for the handful of kidou wards that the combined power of Kisuke, Hachi and Tessai had beaten into him. They were proving worth their weight in gold now.
Spotting the shinigami figure, Ichigo focuses on dampening his reiatsu into nothing. He slips out of shunpo with ease and lands behind the dark figure. There’s something in their hand that Ichigo can’t make out in this lighting. A knife, maybe? He doesn’t wait to figure out what kind of weapon it is. Silently, he lifts Zangetsu, still sheathed, and brings it down on the back of the intruder’s neck.
They fall forward easier than Ichigo is expecting. “Ow, what the hell!”
The familiar voice makes Ichigo pause. He scowls deeply. The tension fades from his body, but it’s quickly replaced by the way anger thrums in his veins. Zangetsu mimics the feeling back through his blade, practically begging for blood, even now. How long has it been since he went so long without cutting down several hollows? How long since he spent this long without Zangetsu’s mask being pulled on just to keep him going?
Ichigo forcibly shakes the bloodlust from himself as he walks over to his desk. Lighting a candle, he turns to glare at the offending intruder. “What the fuck are you doing, Kaien?” Ichigo demands.
The yellow glow illuminates the room enough, but it’s not great. Ichigo can’t quite make out the expression on his cousin’s face. What he wouldn’t give for some modern age lighting in this room, he thinks.
“What am I doing, what are you doing?” Kaien asks, rubbing at the spot where Ichigo hit him. He doesn’t sound too pained, so Ichigo pushes away any guilt that tries to surface.
“I asked you first,” Ichigo says, wincing at the lack of maturity in the sentiment.
Kaien huffs, but then he’s grinning brightly. “Well, I thought I’d come see my favourite cousin, of course!” he says. “I haven’t been around the past couple days, so I thought I’d make it up to you with a present. I didn’t expect to be attacked.”
Ichigo doesn’t need to see Kaien’s face to know that the older shinigami is pouting again. He’s probably got that look in his eyes right now too. The one that’s understanding and sad and lacking in any hostility, even in this situation. Maybe it’s for the best they don’t have normal lights. Anything is better than having to see those eyes.
Running a hand through his hair, Ichigo sighs tiredly. “And I didn’t expect my cousin to break into my room, so we’re even on that front,” he says.
This would have been much easier if he’d considered whoever might have been breaking into his room was doing it with good intentions. But during the war, if he allowed someone access to his room, they knew not to alert the wards. He didn’t need to check if the one triggering them was friend or foe, because he knew from the trigger alone. Evidently, that’s a habit he’ll need to work on. What if this had been someone that wasn’t Kaien?
Despite his best attempts, Ichigo can feel guilt welling.
‘Focus in the now, Ichigo. Kaien is watching,’ Ossan reminds him.
Shaking himself, Ichigo considers everything Kaien said before flinching. “I don’t want a present,” he adds. He’d been so distracted that he hadn’t fully comprehended his cousin.
It’s quiet for a minute while Kaien lights another candle at the small table and then invites himself to take a seat, grinning all the while. Ichigo’s eyebrow twitches.
“You haven’t even seen the gift yet, so you can’t turn it down,” Kaien says.
Ichigo huffs. He doesn’t need gifts. It’s been a long time since he got excited over something like that. And he certainly doesn’t need whatever Kaien might’ve picked out for him.
Kaien smiles at him softly, and his eyes are kind in that knowing way again which grates against Ichigo in every way. “Come on, Ichigo. At least look at it first.”
“Fine. But if it’s stupid, I’m throwing it at your head.”
Kaien beams like Ichigo’s offered him something precious by agreeing. Weirdo.
Sitting with Kaien, Ichigo pours them both a cup of the sake that he’d bought while out with Kuukaku. It’s worth doing, just to see the surprise on Kaien’s face, even if it also irritates the hell out of him. He's not so rude that he won't shar, even if his guest is unwanted and uninvited.
Kaien picks up the cup and downs it first before placing something on the table. It clinks softly.
With narrowed eyes, Ichigo waits for Kaien to pull his hand away before he blinks in surprise.
“How did you-” he starts, unable to swallow his surprise. On the table sits a handful of shuriken, in different styles. They’re not too simple, but Kaien hadn’t chosen overly ornate ones either. Picking one up, Ichigo blinks at how balanced it feels in his hands. “They’re good quality.”
Kaien snorts. “Of course they are. I wouldn’t get you subpar shuriken,” he says, obviously offended.
“Still, how did you know I use shuriken?” Ichigo asks, already slipping them away, adding to the handful he already has on himself.
His cousin grins sheepishly. “Lucky guess,” he says.
Ichigo narrows his eyes. He might not be the best liar, but he knows how to tell when someone is lying to him. He learnt fast thanks to Kisuke’s inability to ever say something fucking true. And Kaien is definitely skirting something right now. The question is whether or not to let him get away with it.
The shuriken sit comfortably on him, a weight he hadn’t realised he missed so much, and Ichigo sighs. “Fine, whatever.”
Kaien visibly relaxes, grinning. “I’m glad you like them,” he says.
Shrugging, Ichigo pours him another cup of sake, needing something to do with his hands. “They’re nice shuriken, what’s not to like?”
If Kaien was the kind of person to squeal, Ichigo has no doubt he would be right now, with how happy he looks. Sheesh, what is up with this guy?
Then Kaien looks discomforted, perpetual smile twisted downwards just for a moment. It’s disconcerting and Ichigo decides in this moment that he never wants to see it again. Kaien should be happiness and grins and playful jibes not… sadly serious. It’s wrong.
“Ichigo, you should probably avoid bringing your zanpakutou everywhere with you,” Kaien says finally. His words are strained, almost like he can’t believe he’s saying them.
Instantly, the shuriken make a little more sense. They’re less of a gift and more of a bribe. Still, Ichigo bristles at the idea of leaving Zangetsu behind when he goes anywhere. That’s his partner. It’s not even that he needs Zangetsu to take down most threats. He’s good enough without a sword to not rely on Zangetsu’s abilities. But it still feels wrong. He’s had a zanpakutou by his side at all times for years now. Without it… Ichigo swallows. Still, he can understand what Kaien’s trying to say none-too-subtly.
“Is this all you came here for?” Ichigo asks.
Kaien pouts but doesn’t complain at the lack of agreement; there’s understanding in his eyes again. “Trying to kick me out already?” he whines.
With a pointed look at the moon high in the sky and the—for once—silent compound, Ichigo looks back at Kaien. “It is late.”
Sighing, Kaien pours himself another cup of sake. Ichigo considers complaining but technically the Shiba’s paid for it, so he doesn’t bother. “But I wanted to talk to you about your welcoming party.”
“Welcoming party?”
Kaien nods. “I told you, right? Once you’ve been entered into the registry, we’ll organise a welcome party.”
It had slipped Ichigo’s mind, but it sounds like a giant pain in his ass. “Can’t we just skip it?” he suggests.
He might have been wrong about Kaien not being the kind to squeal, Ichigo thinks as his ears ring. Kaien’s offended screech is both dramatic and far too loud. Ichigo glares and is rewarded with a slightly sheepish look.
“We can’t skip your welcoming party,” Kaien says.
“Why the fuck not? I’ve been welcomed already. What’s the point in throwing a party for it?” Ichigo asks. The idea of an entire party dedicated him to rubs him the wrong. Not to mention, there would definitely be too many people and too much chaos for his taste.
“We’re Shibas,” Kaien says, like that’s an answer. Considering his relatives disposition and what Ichigo remembers of Kuukaku and Ganju’s habits, maybe it is. Still, that doesn’t make him any more pleased thinking about it.
“I don’t want a party,” Ichigo reiterates.
Kaien pouts. “C’mon Ichigo, everyone’s already been so hard at work planning. They’re inviting half the Gotei and then some.” He’s whining again. “It’s going to be fun!”
“Nothing about that sounds fun,” Ichigo grouses.
Kaien pouts more, but Ichigo pointedly turns away from him. The door to his room is still open and he can see the wooden zen bridge a little away, the water in the stream glowing under the moonlight. It’s a pretty scene. Maybe he should draw it sometime. He’s not the most artistic person, but he used to enjoy watercolours. Or he thinks he did. Sometimes it’s hard to remember what he enjoyed before all the wars.
A loud sigh fills the room, but Ichigo ignores it.
“Well, it’s up to you,” Kaien says finally. He sounds a lot more sober now and Ichigo pangs with guilt at the idea that he caused that. His cousin is only trying to throw a party, and he is here bringing down the mood.
He grits his teeth as the guilt builds with the silence. Fucking fuck everything.
“Fine,” he says at last.
Kaien lets out a confused noise, mid-sip of his sake, so Ichigo meets his eyes. “Throw your stupid party, or whatever.”
Blinking, Kaien’s eyebrows furrow. His cup makes a soft sound as it’s placed on the table. “We don’t have to, Ichigo. You’re clearly against the idea.”
Can’t fucking win with this guy, Ichigo thinks. “Well, I changed my mind. So stop pestering me about it,” he grunts.
Kaien’s concern doesn’t fade from his reiatsu, even as he grins at Ichigo. “It’ll be the best party you’ve ever attended,” he vows.
Ichigo snorts and thinks distantly of chaotic visored and drunken shinigami taichous. He doubts that, but he doesn’t say as much out loud.
“Sure, Kaien.”