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Oliver hated Gotham. Has it always been this messed up? He didn’t think so. Then again, the last time he was in Gotham for longer than a day or two was back during his college days, when he and Bruce would take advantage of the fact that they had a whole manor to themselves. Oliver was too wasted to notice much about Gotham besides its gloomy architecture, and stormy skies, but he’s pretty sure it's only gotten worse over the many years since his youth.
What kind of city, just doesn’t react when a super villain is wreaking havoc. Gotham, apparently. Oliver had to stop at three stop signs, to let people walk pass the crosswalk. And there was this old little granny, who went so slow, never mind that there was a literal explosion wrecking the building behind her. She looked back once, blinked, then continued her snail’s pace across the street.
After what felt like an eternity, Oliver got to the meet up destination. The rest of the gang were crouched in a side alley across from an abandoned warehouse. There were way too many warehouses in Gotham. Another one of the city’s many faults.
Oliver looked back and forth for a second, trying to find a place to park the Arrow car. All the spots were filled. Oliver spotted one open place, right under a no parking sign. He shrugged. What police officer in their right mind would be patrolling outside the very obvious villain hideout (there was green smoke even puffing up from the warehouse’s windows) looking to give people parking tickets. He pulled into the spot.
Oliver grabbed his gear, jogging over to the alley.
Batman glowered at him, “you're late.”
“I had to park the Arrow Car, traffic was hell.” Oliver said.
Everything in Gotham was hell.
“Arrow Car?” Flash said with a snicker.
“Yeah, speedy, not all of us can run everywhere.” Oliver said, “I bet Bat’s here has a car with a dorky name too. Like Bat-Car.”
“Batmobile.” Batman corrected.
And fuck. That was so cool. Way cooler than the Arrow Car.
Batman continued to give Oliver his scariest glare, like he could read his thoughts. Or maybe he was still mad about the whole being late thing.
“Geez, bats, chill with the glare, could you stand to say a little “thank you” I’m helping you out here.” Oliver said.
“I don’t need help.”
Oliver rolled his eyes, that's a no to the “thank you” then. Men from Gotham are insufferable. Brucie was the only good one of the whole bunch.
Wonder Woman shot Batman a frown, “The Riddler, Joker, and Scarecrow are working together. And Robin and Batgirl are busy with the Teen Titans. I understand that you dislike having other supers in your city. But you do need the help.”
“Hn” was Batman’s only response.
“How about we go over the plan, now that everyone is here.” Superman said with a smile, he was always trying to mediate the conversation, like the damn boy scout that he was.
Batman nodded gruffly toward the glowing warehouse across from them, “Riddler’s clues lead there, there will be an elaborate setup, and challenges to solve. Wonder Woman, Superman, and I will go in on foot, solve the riddles, work our way to the center.”
“And Riddler, Joker, and Scarecrow will be there?” Wonder Woman asked.
Batman nodded.
Flash frowned, “are you sure, I saw some nasty destruction on my way here.”
Oliver nodded, thinking of the exploding building behind the old woman. “Something equally big is happening outside of the warehouse.”
Batman huffed, “a distraction. The major players will be in that warehouse.”
Superman smiled, always trusting. Oliver wasn’t so sure. Green Lantern seemed to think the same. Because he asked, “how are you so sure they’ll all be there, splitting their forces would be the more logical thing to do.”
“They’ll be there. The clues led here. They will be there.” Batman said in a tone that broached no argument. “Green Lantern and Flash will deal with the distractions. Get the people to safety, control the damage, then meet back at the warehouse for the final confrontation.”
Flash nodded. “Sounds like a plan, bat.”
The distractions were all well spaced out all across Gotham. Flash loved any excuse that let him run.
“What exactly am I supposed to do?” Oliver asked.
“You’ll be backup at the warehouse.”
“Backup?” Oliver asked in offense.
“I mean, it makes sense,” Green Lantern said, “there’s not much you can do with a bow and arrow. You need speed and,” he waved his ring around as if to say magic green structures, “to effectively evacuate people and help. And it's better to let the people with actual powers face the big bads head on. Joker and Scarecrow have some crazy, messed up toxins.”
Oliver wanted to scream, he was so much better than some long distance backup. And he wasn’t the only non-powered hero around. Batman was freaking human. At least Oliver was 80% sure he was human.
But one didn’t go against the justice league founders, never mind that Oliver had been working on the team for nearly as long. They were the holy trinity, an indestructible alien with a heart of gold, a warrior goddess of extreme patience trained to fight gods, and scariest of them all, Batman.
So Oliver nodded, though he hated being placed as backup, he felt like he had no choice.
He hadn’t felt this peer pressured since the time his childhood friend, Bruce, convinced him to egg the principal's house back at boarding school. No, actually the time with weed and pineapples was worse. Or that one time with the motorcycles. Or…
You know what, never mind, Oliver was apparently very susceptible to peer pressure. At least when it came to Bruce and his crazy plans.
And now apparently with Batman and his, well not crazy but annoying, plans.
“Great,” Superman said with a smile. “I guess it's go time then.” he held his hand out in the middle of the group.
God, Oliver thought, Supes was such a goody toe shoes, team player. He was probably on the football team when he was in high school, along with all the boy scouting.
Flash immediately placed his hand in the middle, with the eagerness of the one nerd in school who never got included with all the jocks but desperately wanted to fit in with them.
Lantern joined in as well as Wonder Woman. Oliver crossed his arms, he was a billionaire, not some child.
Batman seemed to have the same thought, for he huffed and said, “no.”
Superman looked over at him with heartbroken eyes, and pouted. Seriously, big blue pouted. Wow, it was pitiful, really.
Superman had been in love with Batman for ages, it was obvious really, the way the man followed the bat around with lost puppy dog eyes. Too bad it would never go anywhere, Supes was the essence of innocence, he doubted the man had any game at all, and Bats well. He was freaking Batman, he didn’t smile, or laugh. Oliver doubted the guy had actual emotions. At least, nothing all lovey-dovey.
“Let's go,” Batman said, still refusing to put his hand in the middle like Oliver.
“Let’s go!” Flash called, taking Batman’s own words and using them for their chant and throwing his hand up in the air. And then speeding away.
Oliver sighed, pulling an arrow out at the ready. He began to trudge over to the warehouse with Superman, Wonder Woman, and Batman.
—
Oliver was bored out of his freaking mind!
All he had done for the past hour is lurk around, trailing after Wonder Woman, Batman, and Superman, bow at the ready, while they went off and solved these stupid riddles. What kind of villain just made riddles and games. And why the hell were they putting up with this madness. The whole thing screamed distraction. Something to waste their time, while the villains went off and wrecked havoc.
Why the hell was Batman so convinced that all three villains would be lying in wait? Bat’s was supposed to be the smart one, his villains were supposed to be freaky and well-educated, half of them were freaking doctors. None of this made sense.
The wonder trio managed to solve the most recent puzzle. Something involving holographic images, Oliver wasn’t really paying attention. The room flashed briefly with light as one of the dark, mysterious doors of the warehouse flew open.
Oliver tensed, raising his bow, and getting ready to actually be useful. A bright sign flashed above the door, pick your poison, it said in all its freaky amusement park glory.
Honestly, Oliver thought, these villains are so childish.
Oliver lowered his bow.
Batman strode forward into the room, Wonder Woman strode in after, closely followed by Big Blue. “It's a rather tight fit,” Superman said, “It might be better for you to stay out there, Green Arrow.”
“No problem,” Oliver ground out.
As they disappeared into the room, Oliver leaned back against the grimy warehouse wall, propping his armed bow up on his knee and glaring at the flashing sign. Pick your poison.
After exactly 206 seconds, Ollie counted, he was so bored, disaster struck.
Oliver saw a flash of green at the corner of his eye, he spun around from the sign bow raised, and pointed. GL held his hands up peacefully, “Woah, no need to be so defensive,” he said with a smirk.
Oliver glowered, the one bit of action, and it was just Green Lantern. He started to lower his bow.
Just then though, finished up with the evacuations just like Green Lantern, Flash sped into the room, a blur of lighting energy, brushing right past Oliver. And Oliver, his senses tensed to the nines from all the waiting reacted.
His fingers released from the string of his bow, the arrow half notched and lowered rocketed forward, and knocked through the air from the speed of the Flash careened into the glowing sign, pick your poison.
The sign flashed and sparked, and an earsplitting alarm started to go off, it sounded like the fire alarm. Green Lantern summoned up a giant green fist, slamming it into the blaring alarm. The high-pitched sound cut off, but the damage was done. The sprinklers had been set off, a rusty sludge of water (because of course Gotham’s water was fucked up too) started to pour down on them all.
Green Lantern quickly vanished the fist, and moved closer to the Flash, summoning a green umbrella to protect them.
Oliver, who was halfway to drenched in the filth that was Gotham’s water supply, glared at them. Green Lantern's eyes widened behind his mask, “ooh, sorry bro.”
He expanded his umbrella so it was now comically large, protecting all three of them.
Just then, the door under the poison sign opens. Oliver bites back a sigh, bracing himself for the Bat’s glare, he really didn’t want to deal with a lecture right now.
The Holy Trinity stumbles through the door, soaking wet.
Forget about a lecture, Batman’s going to freak, say hello monitor duty for the foreseeable future, he thinks.
Oliver drops his bow, kicking it to the side, he raises his hands and looks up at them… And oh shit!
Oliver may have gotten soaked in the horrors of Gotham’s water, but the trinity face something else entirely. The water is quite literally fizzling off of the three heroes, burning and sparking in the air, leaving the space full of a metallic heavily, chemical tang.
The chemicals seem to be burning away at the heroes. No, literally, they seem to be shrinking. Before any of them can go over to help, even flash with his speed of a nanosecond, the watery chemical, cocktail concoction has evaporated, leaving the three mightiest heroes, the holy trinity of the justice league…
Young.
Oliver blinks, thinking he's seeing things, his hands lower unconsciously and drop to his sides. This can’t be right. But there’s no denying the facts, Wonder Woman and Superman’s faces shine with youth, shit they look no older than eighteen. Oliver can’t tell with Batman, the cowl masking the majority of his face, but his shoulders seem narrower, not nearly as broad as they are in full adulthood.
The six of them just stand there staring at each other, Green Lantern seems to be on the cusp of losing it to laughter, Flash is slack jawed in shock. Superman’s face is one of pure unadulterated confusion and Wonder Woman’s expression is quickly shifting into one of guarded confusion to one of anger.
Wonder Woman steps forward, fists raised, “who are you,” she demands, “where are we!”
Oliver steps forward, ready to explain. Wonder Woman tenses, and in a span of a second she moves. She slams her raised fist into Oliver’s face, sweeps her leg under his feet, she crouches down with the momentum, grabbing his dropped bow and stands just as quickly, bow notched with an arrow (how the hell did she manage to grab one of his arrows too) aimed at his fallen form.
Oliver raises his hands quickly in surrender from where he lies knocked to the ground.
Wonder Woman’s glower intensifies, “who are you!”
“Green Arrow!” Oliver shouts, “and this is Green Lantern, and Flash,” he says, nodding to each in turn.
“What kind of names are those?” Batman asks.
Wonder Woman whips around, bow and arrow pointed at him now.
Batman just smirks, “I’m just as clueless as you, princess.”
Oliver blinks, he’s not sure what’s more surprising, the image of a smirking batman or a batman admitting he’s clueless.
“How do you know I am a princess?” Wonder Woman says.
Oliver frowns, maybe not as clueless as he claimed, Batman, a detective as always.
“Didn’t, just a girl such as yourself, deserves to be treated like royalty.” Batman says, his words almost flirty.
Diana frowns, like she is unsure how to process Batman’s words. Oliver is struggling too, maybe the Gotham water got to him and he’s hallucinating.
Wonder Woman lowers the bow to her side, and lifts her chin up and straightens her shoulders out into an image of authority.
“I am Diana, princess of Themyscria,” she says, turning a circle to address all of them, “a feared, Warrior of the Amazons. I demand answers.”
Superman, raises his hand, like he is in a freaking school. Diana frowns in confusion for a second, before nodding at him.
“Ugh hi,” Supes says, smiling and giving a little wave, “I’m Clark, Clark Kent. And I’m not sure what's going on. Does anyone have a phone by chance, my ma must be worried sick.”
Green Lantern’s face twisted, trying to hold back his laughter even more, Flash stares, and whispers, “Ma?”
Wonder Woman frowns, “what’s a phone?” she mutters under her breath.
Oliver, just throws his head back against the filthy warehouse floor, not even bothering to get up and lets out a long groan, “identities, Supes, identities” Oliver says, “man, Bat’s is going to give us the killing lecture of a lifetime.”
“Oh, sorry,” Clark says with a confused frown, turned quickly into a smile, “I’m… Supes? I guess. I would still like to call my ma.”
The laughter Green Lantern was holding back erupts forth, echoing across the warehouse. Oliver clambers to his feet with a sigh.
They all just stand frozen, as GL catches his breath, “sorry, this is just too much.” after GL regains control, his face sets, and he says, “look, this is going to be hard to believe, but we're all friends, coworkers of a sort. We're superheroes, hence the whole, strange names and secret identities. You three,” he said gesturing to Diana, Clark, and Batman, “got hit with, well I’m not really sure, some sort of chemical, and you're now all younger, by about ten or so years.”
Wonder Woman frowned, but nodded, “prove it.”
Green Lantern paused for a second, “use the lasso, you’ll know I’m telling the truth.”
Diana’s eyes, dropped to the lasso hanging from her waist in surprise. With care, she grabbed the loops of golden rope.
“Are you going to tie him up?” Batman asked.
GL nodded, “Don’t worry, it’s nothing bad.”
“Completely consensual,” Flash added. GL hit his arm.
“It's just the only way to prove the truth, it's kinda hard to explain.” GL finished.
Batman shook his head, “No, I get it.” he said, then his head tilted to the side, and he smirked, “kinky.”
Oliver stared in horror, Bat’s did not just say that!
Diana, dropped the lasso back to her side in a rush, her cheeks going red, though Oliver couldn’t tell if it was from embarrassment or from anger. “I believe you.” she told Green Lantern firmly.
Embarrassment it was.
Oliver got it, he was feeling pretty embarrassed himself. Usually this kind of stuff didn't phase him, he was used to flirty and sexual comments like that from Brucie, but this was Batman, it just was wrong. Oliver was still half convinced that this was all a hallucination.
“Ughh,” green lantern was staring at Batman like he was a stranger, “yeah, great. We should probably go fight the supervillains. I know this is all very confusing for you three, and sudden. But there are some major villains, hiding out in this warehouse, waiting for us.”
Flash nodded, “super bad guys.”
Oliver wanted to groan and bang his head into the warehouse floor again. Did Flash and GL seriously think that they would be able to help? Sure, they might be the holy trinity of the justice league, but they’re only eighteen. When Oliver was eighteen he was off, partying and being loads of irresponsible with Brucie. No way he would be up to playing superhero at a moment's notice.
They all nodded along, Diana’s expression was fierce.
“Of course,” Superman said.
“Wait, seriously?” Flash asked.
Green Lantern kicked Flash in the shin, “They said they would help, don’t ruin it.”
Flash pouted, stepping away from Green Lantern.
Oliver rolled his eyes, “I’m on Flash’s side, how are you guys not at all phased by any of this.”
Diana raised her chin proudly, “I have been trained since birth to fight. I knew that one day Ares would rise again, and I would need to vanquish the evil he has plagued mankind with. I am honored to fight among you,” Diana’s eyes flashed then, bright and violent “though save Ares for me, he is my opponent and mine alone, I will water the gardens of my home island with his blood.”
Oliver gulped, and took a step back.
Clark just smiled shyly, “I’m an alien, I’m used to weird things unexplainably happening.”
Oliver nodded, that actually made sense. He turned towards Bat’s already expecting his answer. It would probably be somewhere along the lines of I’m Batman. That seemed to always be his answer, as if it explained anything. It was infuriating, really.
“What about you?” he asked anyway.
Batman shrugged, “I trust you, Ollie.”
Oliver blinked, he couldn’t possibly have heard that right. Batman, my middle name is fucking paranoia, trusted him?
“Ollie?” Flash questioned, head whipping towards Oliver at lighting speed.
And oh shit, “ya just revealed my identity! How the fuck do you even know my identity?”
Oliver felt on the verge of a panic attack. First superman revealing his name, first and last even, now this! Man, Batman was going to lecture them so bad after this whole mess. Could Batman even do that? He was the one technically who revealed Oliver’s identity in the first place.
Batman shook his head in disappointment.
Yeah, this was Batman, Oliver was totally going to still get a lecture.
“Honestly, Ollie,” Batman tskked, and god did that sound familiar, why did it sound so familiar, “I have known you since we were in diapers. You may be ancient now, dressed like a knock off Robin Hood, and with a beard that is truly preposterous, have I not told you how hideous it is yet?” Batman shook his head, “point is, of course I recognized you.”
Oliver felt like his brain was short-circuiting. Lost between being offended, and just damned confused.
“Diapers?” Flash said in horror.
Green Lantern shook his head, “Can’t picture it, just can’t. Spooky as a baby, wild.”
“We know each other?” Oliver asked, his brain felt like mush.
Batman frowned, and thank goodness for that, things almost seemed normal again. “Of course, do you really not recognize me, Ollie. Is it the cowl?” he asked, reaching up towards the mask.
“No!” Oliver screeched. “Stop, leave the mask on!”’
Never mind a lecture, Batman would break his no kill rule if his identity was somehow revealed.
Young Batman dropped his hands, looking confused, “I didn’t get ugly in the future, did I?”
Oliver didn’t know how to respond to that, “look lets just get this mission over with. Did you find a clue or some way to get through this hell maze before everything descended into chaos?”
“Yes,” Diana said. “What creature walks on four legs in the morning, two at noon, and and three in the evening? That is the riddle, there were three doors in the room each with an animal symbol on them, so the answer must be either a frog, a tiger, or a bat.”
Green Lantern frowned, “the answer is a man though. Crawls as a baby, walks like normal, then has a cane when they are old.”
Diana nodded, “but what is a man most similar to, of those three animals, I have never met one before, so I do not know.”
Batman smirks, “never met a man before? Well don’t let yourself be fooled, not all of us are as dashingly handsome as me, though Clark over here really isn’t helping make my case.”
Clark flushed bright red, “ugh… supes. I’m Supes. We're supposed to use our secret identities."
“Superman actually,” Oliver says, trying to distract from whatever the hell is going on right now.
It doesn’t work.
“Superman.” Batman says. And how the hell did he make a name sound suggestive.
Oliver thinks he is going to throw up. And Supes somehow gets even brighter red. How was that even possible?
“I think I need to clean my ears out,” Flash groans.
Green Lantern nods with a shudder. “Same. lets just get this over with, what door are we supposed to use. The frog, the tiger, or the bat?”
And oh… Good God, Oliver feels like an idiot. Or really Gotham feels like a city of idiots. “It’s the fucking bat isn’t.”
Superman frowns, “I don’t get it.”
“It’s because he’s freaking Batman!” Oliver exclaims pointing at B. And oh, now he feels hypocritical using B’s most used non answer as an answer.
Young batman nods along, “makes sense.”
“How the hell does that make sense?” Oliver asks.
“Ugh…” superman tries to interject, “your the one–”
“I know I’m the one who said it’s the bat… it’s just. Why!!” Oliver says. “Why the fuck do all the clues resolve around B, why the hell was older you so fucking convinced that the three villain’s would be all lying in wait, when it makes far more sense for them to split up and continue wreckign havoc. I just don’t get it!!”
Young Batman shrugs, and it is so much like something the older batman would do that Oliver is convinced he is going to give one of his I am Batman, non-answers again, but then he smirks and the whole effect is ruined.
“They're obsessed with me,” Batman says with all the playboy swagger to put even the great Brucie Wayne to shame.
Green Lantern frowned, “that can’t possibly be right.”
Batman just shrugged and gestured to the door.
Diana squared her shoulders, “let us go butcher these agents of Ares.”
Superman paled, “Ugh, sure,” he said, “but gently.”
Diana shot him a glare, and Green Lantern released a small chuckle.
They all filled through, under the broken pick your poison sign, and headed straight towards the right most door, with a little bat emblem carved into the wood. For a second Oliver was sure he was wrong about the clue, because it just couldn’t be that obvious.
They swung the door open to reveal a large empty warehouse room. The riddler, scarecrow, and the joker all standing right there.
Oliver can’t believe Batman was right.
Diana in all her angsty hormonal fury charged into the room, sword raised, setting free a raged filled scream. Oliver notched an arrow, sending it flying. Green Lantern summoned up a fist, already set to set it swinging and he dove into the room. Flash started zooming at superspeed into the fray. Superman lifted off from his feet and flew in.
And Batman just stood there stunned.
Oliver glanced over at him as he grabbed another arrow from his quiver. “You all right there?”
“We're superheroes. We're really superheroes. I didn’t think you guys were being serious.”
Oliver’s eyebrows shot up in disbelief. “What did you think was going on?”
Batman shrugged, “I thought this was some sort of role play thing.”
“Role-play?” Oliver’s voice went shrill and his eyebrows got impossibly higher, they were starting to peak out from behind his mask.
Batman smirked, reveling in Oliver’s horror. “Of course, what else was I supposed to think? I’m dressed up as a furry. Diana’s outfit is dangerous as sin, and have you seen Clark.” His eyes strayed over towards Superman, Batman shook his head in disbelief. “He flies, fuck, that’s hot.”
Superman stumbled for a second in the air, and almost got shot down by Joker’s cannon gun. His ears were bright red.
Oliver released his arrow, it grazed past Joker’s shoulder, buying Supes time to get his head back in the game.
Oliver and Batman joined the fight. The three villains kept targeting Batman trying to get his attention, they really were obsessed with him. Thankfully young Batman seemed to be able to hold his own.
“Man, how are you still such a good fighter,” Oliver complained, as he ducked a punched attack from the scarecrow and shot an arrow after him.
“Muscle memory,” Batman replied, then looked over and noticed that Supes was in ear shot, smirked and suggestively said, “fighting isn’t the only thing I’m skilled at.”
Unfortunately, or maybe fortunately Superman wasn’t the only one in earshot. Scarecrow, riddler, and joker all whipped away from their fights with the other heroes to stare at Superman in outrage.
Batman rolled his eyes, “huh, jealous much.”
With Superman acting as the perfect distraction for all of the villains' anger. Wonder Woman was able to sneak up behind the three of them. She boomeranged her sword against the wall, whipped out her lasso, and lunged forward fists raged. It all happened instantaneously. Diana’s lasso wrapped around the joker and slammed him into a wall. Her sword rocketed away from the wall and the hilt crashed into Scarecrow's face. And Diana punched the riddler right in the jaw.
All three of them were out cold.
“Okay great, the villains are taken care of,” Green Lantern said, stepping back slightly from Diana, both awe and fear clear across his face.
Flash nodded edging slowly behind GL like he wanted to use him as a shield. “Now we just need to figure out how to get the three of you back to normal.”
Oliver agreed full heartedly. He wanted the wonder trio back to normal ASAP, he already felt like he had deep emotional scarring from this whole ordeal. He needed an emotionally mature Wonder Woman back, and don't even get him started on Bat’s, he hasn’t even fully processed the insanity of him as a teenager yet.
“How do we do that?” Superman asked.
“Easy,” Batman said. “We were probably hit with a mixture of drugs from these villains,” he said pointing to the cases labeled joker venom and fear gas that were littered around the room. “I just need to take samples of each of the villains toxins, cross contaminate them, and compare it to samples of our blood then reverse engineer an antidote”
“How do you know how to do that?" Superman asked in awe.
“There was this bioengineer major, Pam, she was hot, long red hair, legs for days. I wanted to impress her.”
Oliver made a sound of disgust. He regrets all his annoyance over bat’s lack of responses. He would rather hear I am Batman any day over this purgatory.
The antidote takes about only 15 minutes to make. Apparently Batman just carries all the stuff needed, needles, and syringes and a freaking compatible bunsen burner in his utility belt, like a damn Mary Poppins with her carpet bag.
Batman prepped the needles, and a truly awfully grey sludge of a mixture intended for superman with his impenetrable skin.
Sitting down on the crates left in the wreck of the warehouse, Batman handed the sludge to Supes, and injected a needle into Diana’s arm who watched him with narrowed eyes the whole time, after that he quickly took the second needle rolled up his sleeve and injected the antidote into his own veins.
The three of them seemed to convulse for a second and flash made a face of disgust. After a minute or so had passed, the three of them had settled down their features returning to that of their current age.
Superman’s face scrunched up in confusion, as he looked around the room, “what happened? We were just about to solve the riddle…” he trailed off noticing the three unconscious villains, bound in rope.
Wonder Woman’s and Batman's eyes followed Superman’s line of sight.
“The battle is over.” Wonder Woman said she was surprised yet calm, merely looking curiously over at Oliver, GL, and Flash in question.
“Report,” Batman growled, back to his usual gruff self.
Flash quickly explained how the three of them had been de-aged, through the strange chemical mix up.
Batman fixed his bat-glare on Oliver, when Flash got to the part of it being Oliver’s fault for shooting the arrow.
“--look,” Oliver interrupted, “we got you three back to normal and defeated the bad guys, so no harm done.”
“Some harm done actually.” GL said.
Oliver winced, “ugh, yeah. Superman may have, kinda, revealed his identity.”
“And, by that,” Flash added, “he means that he completely did, first and last name even.”
Superman’s eyes widened, “oh, gosh, sorry B.”
Batman shrugged, “It was bound to happen eventually, the glasses are a truly horrible disguise.”
Superman’s eyes got impossibly even more wide.
Oliver frowned, “wait you already knew. How??”
“I’m Batman.”
GL crossed his arms, “hold on a moment, young you also knew Green Arrow’s identity, do you know all of our identities?”
Batman was deathly still for a moment as they all looked at him accusingly.
Finally he shrugged, “I’m Batman.”
Flashes mouth dropped open, opening and closing like a fish. Wonder woman nodded like she expected this.
Green Lantern pinched the bridge of his nose, “you know what, I’m done spooky. This has been a fuckign crazy day, of course you know. I’m going home, see you all at the next meeting.”
He waved to them all, ducking out of the warehouse, Flash followed close behind him.
Diana smiled, “I’ll see you all later, Batman. I am glad you allowed us to help.” as she too headed out.
Taking that as the dismissal it was, the rest of them scattered.
Oliver was glad, he was ready to get the hell out of Gotham and never think about this day again.
—-
Oliver jogged over to his Arrow car, he was ready to leave Gotham and never return. Yeah his childhood friend Bruce lived here, but he would just insist that they meet up in star city, or anywhere else besides this cursed city.
Speaking of cursed royally fucked up cities, oliver had a freaking parking ticket. Some idiot cop decided that should be wandering around in the shady warehouse district in the middle of a triple rouge attack to hand out parking tickets.
Oliver didn’t have time to deal with this. Not after everything that had happened today. And you know what, he wasn’t going to deal with this.
Oliver pulled out his personal phone quickly pulling up the contact and pressing call.
The phone was picked up on the second ring.
“Ollie,” Bruce Wayne greeted.
“Brucie,” Oliver greeted in return, “look, do you still have that in with the police commissioner here in Gotham."
“What?” Bruce asked, his voice had lost the cheery carefreeness that it usually had, getting unusually serious, “of course. What happened? Are you in trouble?”
“Nothing big, I just got a parking ticket, a freaking parking ticket.” Oliver complained.
Bruce laughed, “Honselty Ollie,” and God where did Oliver hear that before, “I can't believe you got a parking ticket, what are you? A teenager again?”
Oliver’s head was spinning, running through every memory he had of Batman, of Bruce. They were so freaking different, but then today, with teenage batman. The flirting, the way he knew Oliver and called him Ollie. “No, no fucking way…”
“Ollie are you all right.”
“No, quite frankly I’m not,” Oliver said, shaking his head, “your fucking Batman!”
There was a moment of silence, and then Oliver swears he could hear Bruce smirking over the line. "I know I have a reputation, but even I wouldn’t go as far as to sleep with Batman.”
“Bruce.” Oliver said.
“I’ll see you in fifteen, we’ll get your parking ticket settled, and have ourselves a little talk.”
“What, why?” Bruce may be his best friend, but Batman was freaking scary, nothing good happened when he wanted to talk “You can just handle it from your end and I can get out of this forsaken city.” Oliver tried.
“Fifteen.” Bruce repeated before hanging up.
You knew it was serious when B started with the whole monosyllabic thing.
Oliver lowered his phone, dragged a hand through his hair and banged his head against the window shield of his car.
Fuck, Oliver was so getting lectured.