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He knows from the beginning that the easiest way to talk to Mr. Wayne would be to go next door and knock, Tim can be direct when he has to, but Dick is a more approachable target and he tells himself that the decision to talk to him first is purely practical and has nothing to do with him being scared.
It's a setback he can manage, at least he thinks it is, without Batman and Robin there's a lot Tim's not sure of anymore.
But he quickly realizes that tracking down someone trained by Batman isn't the easiest thing, usually he likes a challenge but it's been months already without a single glimpse of Batman in Gotham and brief appearances by other heroes aren't the same. Tim can't accept that it's over, not until he talks to Mr. Wayne and tries to make him understand just how much Batman means to Gotham, and to him.
For weeks it was a source of constant stress, he'd found the sale information for an apartment building purchased by Dick Grayson but he had no way to know which apartment was his and getting out to Bludhaven for a day to talk to Dick was one thing but he didn't have the time or resources for an actual stakeout. It's not until weeks later that he manages to hack into a private file with tenant names that he sees that one apartment is rented to one Wallace West.
Press about the Wayne family has been practically nonexistent since- since Jason- since Ethiopia. The notable, and clearly intentional exception, was that Dick Grayson had come out on National Television to announce his engagement to his childhood best friend. The public story was that they met doing some kind of science competition field trip and according to Tim's research that was a real thing that happened which made it a perfect cover story.
But Tim knows who Robin is and if you know that it's not exactly hard to figure out that Kid Flash, or Flamebird now, is Wally West. Statistically its unlikely that Dick would happen to have two best friends who are redheads and have a similar height and build, not to mention the way the timing lines up on a few too many counts if you know what to look for. There's even something to be said about the way they look at each other, if you watch literally any video of them together it's kind of obvious.
So Dick Grayson buys an apartment building but he wants his information to be private so one of the apartments is in his fiance's name? Wally isn't a public figure besides attending a couple galas as Dick's date, he's not recognizable to the average person, it makes sense.
Now all Tim needs to do is knock on the door.
He didn't expect it to be so hard.
Logically it shouldn't be, he opens doors every day without issue, there's no reason this needs to be different.
But it is, Tim can still remember the circus and Dick's arms wrapped around him, even though he was practically a baby. Hugs have always been noteworthy enough to stand out when he gets one and Dick had given him such a nice hug. It had been the perfect amount of pressure and he hadn't smelled like perfume or anything gross, just a little like popcorn and sawdust. Dick won't remember Tim, he's not stupid enough to think he would, but he remembers Dick and the thought that something that was so important to him didn't really mean anything to anyone else still kind of hurts.
Then there's the logistics of what he's asking, to convince Bruce Wayne to be Batman again after Jason's death and maybe to get Dick to be Robin because Gotham needs Batman and Batman needs Robin and Tim needs them both. Dick probably doesn't want to be Robin anymore, because he has a new identity and a life in Bludhaven but maybe he can at least convince Bruce to be Batman or help him find a new Robin?
It's not very smart to walk into something like this without concrete goals but there are so many variables and-
"Excuse me, can I help you?" The voice is kind and obviously concerned but Tim still startles, clutching his backpack tighter as he spins to face the person standing behind him. It's Wally, his eyebrows are a little pinched together, a subtle frown as he adjusts the strap of his red backpack. "I'm uh," god he shouldn't stutter, no one will take him seriously if he does, Tim squares his shoulders and forces himself to look right at Wally's very green eyes to show that he is being serious "I'm here to talk to Dick."
Wally's surprise is obvious, even to Tim "Did he like- get another sibling and not tell me?"He says and Tim kind of just stares at him because he's surprised enough by the comment that he hadn't practiced a response for it earlier. "I'm Timothy Drake, I live next door to Wayne Manor and I- I need to talk to him about Batman, it's important" That is what he practiced but Wally's mouth falls open and Tim still doesn't know what to do, his hands shaking as he clutches the strap of his backpack.
Maybe he should've waited for Dick to say that part? He was planning this interaction around talking to him, not Wally, but he should have been smart enough to have a response for Wally as well if he answered the door.
He's barely said a word and he's already ruining things and this is too important to mess up-
Tim feels his hands twitch but he presses back against the itch, desperate to save the situation "He lives here, with you, doesn't he?" Tim shouldn't have phrased it as a question, he should sound more confident if he wants adults to listen to him but something he can't name changes in Wally's expression as he places his hand gently on Tim's shoulder. "I have no idea what you're talking about kiddo but why don't we head inside, Dick should be home soon."
It's better than he expects after making such a mess of everything so he nods numbly and lets Wally steer him inside. Their apartment is simple and cozy but clearly lived in, full of mismatched furniture and goofy photos, Tim almost cries when he sees one of Dick resting his chin on Jason's head as his brother pouts. His parents would hate it but Tim thinks it's charming in a warm eclectic kind of way.
Despite that he's too nervous to make proper conversation but Wally doesn't ask him anything anyways, besides if he wants hot cocoa, so fifteen minutes later he's sitting at their kitchen counter drinking the best hot chocolate he's ever had and eating a small bowl of goldfish crackers while Wally texts just slightly too fast to be plausible for a normal human.
It's silly but Tim can feel his shoulders loosening a little, things aren't going as bad as they could be and a few minutes of quiet helps him asses the situation and adjust his plan. He feels slightly better when Dick opens the door but most of the nerves return when he sees how stressed he looks, casting Tim a mistrustful glance as he wraps one arm around Wally, kissing his freckled cheek in greeting.
Tim's cheeks burn, he's never seen boys kiss before, even just on the cheek, it's nice.
Then Dick is there and he's sitting at the bar stool next to Tim, frowning.
Should Tim start talking or wait for Dick?
It's his thing so he should say something right?
"I need to talk to you," He says quickly, right as Dick opens his mouth and Tim realizes he messed up again but he swallows and powers through "about Batman and Robin." Dick's expression is very careful, that's the only way Tim can think to describe it. "If you have a problem for Batman you should probably talk to Commissioner Gordon, he's the only one who has a way to reach them."
Tim stares back.
"I know you're Robin," Tim says bluntly, "or at least- you were Robin, before being Nightwing. And I'm not going to tell anyone I promise! I've never told anyone before. I just really need you to talk to Mr. Wayne because Gotham needs Batman and Robin for real, not just other heroes filling in, it's not the same. And it must be so hard since Jason died but it's important and I think you should come back and you should be Robin again, at least part time, or help him find someone who can be and- and I know it's a lot to ask and I'm sorry but I don't know how to convince him alone and he always listened to you when you were Robin!" Dick stares at him, his mouth is open and Wally looks similarly shocked where his freckled hand rests on Dick's shoulder. Tim feels his eyes brimming with stubborn tears "Please don't tell me you're not I- I know it, because you can do a quadruple summersault."
He's pathetic, weeks of planning and he is still acting like such a child, he doesn't know how to explain how important this is. That Batman and Robin are everything and he already lost Jason and he can't-
"Hey Timmy take a deep breath okay?" His hands flap once at his sides before he clenches them into fists and Dick's blurred face appears in front of his. Tim nods and tries to listen.
"Okay, you're doing good" he says softly as Tim hiccups once, pressing his palms into his eyes as he tries to pull himself back together "I'm sorry" he says as Dick watches him carefully. "It's alright, you don't need to apologize but I- I need to know how you figured it out."
Tim swallows "I saw you do a quadruple summersault at the circus when I was a kid and a few years later you did the same thing as Robin on TV, only a Flying Grayson could do that move so I put the pieces together. It was just an accident- I wasn't trying to figure it out, I know how important it is that it's a secret-
"Tim breathe," he does, lets Dick squeeze his hand comfortingly "I think we need to head back to Bristol to have a conversation with Bruce about all of this." It's what he wanted, but his stomach still twists into anxious knots. "It's sweet that you care so much about Gotham and about Batman and Robin, but the situation is kind of complicated."
Tim nods, he understands that much at least "Because of Jason" he whispers and Dick nods again "Yeah because of Jason but he- Tim you can't tell anyone this, there are reasons Bruce hasn't done any press, but you've kept our secrets before and I think we can trust you." Tim stares, something warm and so overwhelming building in his chest at Dick's words, and he nods rapidly, unable to get a word out. "Jason isn't dead, he was hurt really badly but he's recovering . When he was brought into the hospital in Ethiopia it was leaked and we've been working really hard since then to ensure his privacy while he heals. Someday it'll come out but he needs the time to get better without pressure, do you understand?"
He does but he's too shocked to say anything he- he'd cried when he heard, curled up under the covers in his bed and sobbed into his pillow until he fell asleep. He didn't really know Jason, just in passing, but Tim had clung on to every moment he'd spent near him. Jason and Dick were special, and Tim was never freer than when he was near them, more than once he'd imagined they were his brothers.
Even though he knew it was childish.
Was he going to meet Jason?
It has to be bad if he's still recovering, maybe he's in a coma- but Dick hadn't talked about it in that way and Tim just doesn't know. It's not what he expected and right now it's too much, Tim isn't good at unexpected things, he thought he'd prepared for all the variables but he feels itchy and anxious and hopeful and he can't find it in himself to make good conversation even if Wally and Dick try to make small talk.
They give up eventually, which is enough for Tim to be embarrassed on top of everything else but not enough to find his voice apparently, instead they start trading looks like it's a whole language and at one point Dick starts signing to Wally. Tim wishes he understood it but he's not going to learn just by watching, maybe he'll try when he's home tonight, after this is over.
With that thought in mind he spends the rest of the hour and ten minute drive thinking about going home alone at the end of the night, even if he convinces them it won't be back to how things were right away and besides taking pictures Tim doesn't have anywhere else to go besides his empty bedroom. At least his brain feels like it has re calibrated enough to be functional by the time they arrive and Dick opens the car door for him at the end of the long gravel drive leading to Wayne Manor's massive front door.
It's impressive, even to Tim, and he swallows and clutches his bag tightly as Dick comes to stand at his side. "It's okay Tim, no one is mad at you" he promises for probably the third time and when Dick takes his hand Tim can't bring himself to let go even though he knows he should be stronger. But more than anything he wishes Dick would hug him again and it takes everything in him already not to ask, to let himself be led quietly up the steps without making more of a fuss.
Dick unlocks the front door and Tim follows him into the cavernous entrance hall, somehow it looks even bigger empty than it does during a gala and Tim can't help tightening his grip on Dick's sleeve. He's so focused on the stairs he doesn't notice the elevator until the doors are opening.
He doesn't even look at Mr. Wayne, eyes skipping automatically to Jason.
Jason who is sitting in a red wheelchair with more scars than the last time he saw him, slightly shorter hair, but undeniably alive. Tim doesn't think he can breathe.
"Who's this?" Jason's nose is scrunched up and suddenly Tim doesn't care that it's inappropriate or childish, he's running forward and throwing himself at Jason. Understandably Jason makes a surprised little noise but he doesn't shove him off, just wraps his arms protectively around Tim's shoulders as overwhelmed tears soak into Jason's jeans.
"Uh that's Tim" Dick says and Tim clings on tighter, like it's a dream he's going to wake up from. All alone in his bed in the big house pretending Jason is alive, is holding him. It's so pathetic and he doesn't even care. "Cool" Jason sounds more confused than excited but Tim still feels all warm and melty inside like he did at the circus when Dick hugged him.
Fingers slip through his hair and Tim lets Jason gently direct his head between the other boy's knees, not even listening to the low rumble of voices as he swallows and squeezes his eyes shut until his cheeks are somewhat dry. Still he doesn't move, scared to even breathe in case Jason stops playing with his hair.
"Lets watch a movie" Jason says abruptly and Tim sniffles, looking up at him, still knelt awkwardly on the floor in front of Jason's chair "But I'm supposed to talk to Mr. Wayne I-" he looks at Dick helplessly but he just smiles "I think I can fill B in on the important stuff Timmy, why don't you and Jason chill in the game room for a minute?"
Tim feels his eyes widen at the loss of control but he can't turn down that offer, nodding, not quite believing this is real as Jason smiles at him and gestures for Tim to follow him.
The Wayne's game room is crazy, it's all big cushy leather couches and blankets and snacks and a popcorn machine. Tim feels his eyes widen, he can't believe Mr. Wayne lets them keep such a cool space outside of their rooms and he feels like he's in one of his daydreams when he turns back to Jason and he's putting the brakes on his chair, using his arms to push himself up and transfer onto the couch, a brief expression of discomfort crossing his face as he pulls his legs up onto the cushions.
"Oh" he says it without meaning to and Jason squints at him as Tim's cheeks go hot "I just- you're not paralyzed" it's such a rude thing to say but Jason just laughs "No m' legs are just fucked up" he agrees and Tim isn't sure what to say to that but Jason is looking at him all intensely again. "Tim do we- do we know each other? You look really familiar."
Tim thinks he might explode, hands flapping once at his side before he tamps it down but he sees Jason's eyes flick towards the movement. "Not- not really" he clutches his backpack tighter "We've met but you don't really know me." He corrects a moment later and it probably sounds creepy but Jason just raises an eyebrow at him, Tim's chest aches.
He cares so much about Jason and he thought he was dead and he's not and now he maybe remembers Tim and all he wants is to hug him for real but he can't because however much Tim cares about them he's just a stranger. But he knows Batman and Robin are special and they're the best part of his life and all of this is important Tim knows it is. But a smaller quieter part of him can admit that he doesn't know what to do without them, following Robin, taking pictures, it's the only good thing in his life. The only thing that really belongs to him.
"You know me though, don't you Tim?" Jason doesn't sound upset but Tim can feel his eyes filling with tears, hands going fidgety in that way he can't control "I take pictures of you" as soon as he says it he knows that's not going to help his case "I mean- not in a creepy way! I take pictures of Batman and Robin and you- you helped me once when some guys tried to take my camera. You said everything was going to be okay but you were hurt and it wasn't."
Jason's eyes are wide and blue and Tim realizes he probably didn't know Tim knew their identities.
God why can't he do anything right today? His parents would be so embarrassed and Tim is too.
"You- where the fuck did Dick find you?" Even though Jason seems a bit shocked he doesn't look angry "Holy shit you're literally a mini Bruce" Tim blushes, he thinks that's a pretty good compliment even if he'd rather be compared to Jason or Dick. "I came to his apartment to talk about Batman because- because he hasn't been going out and Nightwing and Superman aren't the same. Gotham needs Batman and Robin and I thought he wasn't going out because- because of what happened to you."
A flash of discomfort creeps across Jason's face and Tim isn't sure he's ever felt so furious at himself and his stupid inability to be normal. "That was a rhetorical question" Jason says a little flatly, knees bunched against his chest as he ducks his head "You- know what happened?" Tim shakes his head rapidly, eyes going wide "Not anything important! Just- just what was on the news before. I thought you died" he admits quietly and then, because he can't help himself "I really missed you."
His breath hitches on a sob and Tim can't believe how today has gone, he planned it for so long and nothing has gone how he expected and none of his backup plans saved it and now he's sitting in a game room with Jason and it's everything he ever wanted but he still misses him and he doesn't have any right to and it's all too much.
"Oh Timmy" Jason puts his hand on Tim's shoulder and and before he can think better of it he's crying again and then Jason is hugging him, a little awkwardly but Tim is too far gone to care or stop himself from latching on to Jason with all his strength. "I'm sorry I just wanted things to go back to normal" he cries and Jason sighs and squeezes Tim as he hiccups quietly.
"Timmy why does this mean so much to you?" Tim swallows, a little surprised by how on the nose the question is "I don't know," he sniffs even though he knows he does, but it's Jason and he can't lie to him "I know I'm not really a part of things but it's nice to feel like I am, even if it's just a little bit. I like taking photos and Robin was always nice to me."
He might be pathetic but he doesn't think any of it is offensive, only Jason looks like he wants to kill someone. "I'm sorry" he drags the sleeve of his sweater over his face, peeking out at Jason. "You didn't do anything wrong!" he snaps and he almost sounds offended "Tim where are your parents?" He doesn't expect the question, just blinks "Oh um- I'm not sure I think they were in Thailand? But you don't have to call them I- I live close I can just go home, I'm used to getting around myself and I can walk back. I- I'm sorry I bothered you."
Tim tries to stand up but Jason tugs him back down, practically in his lap. "Nope you're a baby, babies don't get to walk home alone" he should be offended at that but Jason has an arm slung over his shoulder so he isn't sure how angry he can be, mostly he just feels flustered. "I'm not a baby and I'm definitely old enough to walk home" he says even if he really doesn't want to.
"Okay and how long have your parents been gone" a little more nervous now Tim squeezes his hands into fists "It's not like that, they're very busy, they do lots of important work and they usually tell me where they're going and even send post cards! Plus Mrs. Mac brings me food once a week and I'm very mature for my age-"
Tim stops when he sees how angry Jason looks but it's right then that the door opens and Dick and Mr. Wayne are standing in the doorway. Tim straightens up abruptly, trying to dry his face and look less pathetic but Jason tugs him back down, back into his lap, and hugs Tim tightly. His eyes go wide but his body relaxes into it.
"I'm keeping him" Jason says determinedly and Dick snorts even as Jason glares at him and rests his chin protectively on Tim's head. Mr. Wayne sighs "I wasn't going to send him home Jaylad" he says softly and after a moment of hesitation Jason scoots them both over enough for Bruce to sit down, Wally and Dick piling onto the corner of the couch as Tim swallows and tries to straighten up with Jason still hanging off of him.
"It's Tim right?" Mr. Wayne says with a kind but tired smile as Tim stares at him wide eyed. It's the closest he's been to him, as Bruce Wayne or as Batman. "Dick told me you like photography and while I can't say I approve of your method you know how parents are about pictures of their kids, I'd love to look at them if you were willing to share?"
Tim stares, he must be dreaming, he's going to wake up any second now. But he waits and he doesn't, the only thing that changes is the weight of everyone's eyes on him.
"Yes, I'd be happy to show you Mr. Wayne!" He scrambles for his bag but Mr. Wayne's large hand settles on Tim's knee "Please call me Bruce" he says and Jason harrumphs in agreement, leaning over Tim's back as he nods to Mr- to Bruce, Jason's chin settling back on the top of his head.
It's a dream, Tim tells himself again, but for once he doesn't care about the logic of the situation or what he should be doing or how childish the whole thing is, he doesn't ever want to wake up.
He wants to stay in this soft room with friendly bickering and Jason Todd's arms around him for the rest of his life.