Chapter Text
"Paimon thinks we should take the shortest route."
"There are too many obstacles to climb, it would be faster to take the usual path.”
It had been barely a day since Aether and Paimon had checked in into Whangshu Inn to make preparations for their journey to their next destination, Sumeru. Traveling through Liyue was one thing, but there was no point in rushing.
Their previous trip to Inazuma had been exhausting, both emotionally and physically, and they needed to rest a bit before setting out again. Their steps had led them to Wangshu Inn, a better place to rest than a simple night under the stars - even though star gazing wasn’t so awful to Aether. When they arrived, they had seen only the familiar faces of the employees, but no sign of a certain adeptus nor the one of an archon. Maybe they’d have more chances tonight?
“Paimon, we’re not in a rush, we’re supposed to relax ! Don’t you want to take your time just this time?”
“Paimon’s stomach IS in a rush. And if you don’t give it something to eat, Paimon will become the next grand menace for Teyvat !”
Usually, Aether would’ve laughed. But for the past few days, everything seemed… tasteless. Dull. His quest seemed less and less reachable, as if an abyss were forming itself, deep and dangerous. As if Lumine didn’t want to be found. Was his journey in vain? Was he doing all this for nothing? And all this blood… everywhere he went, the blood was there and flooded as if it just waited for him to come.
For the past few days, he kept up appearances. He was the hero of two nations, the famous traveler, known by all and recognized wherever he goes ; but never felt like he was like it. Everyone kept reaching to him, asking his help as if he was some sort of angel, as if he didn’t need any help as well… But he had to, because they all seemed to see in him some sort of hope. But as the days passed, he kept being more and more… depressed?
I’m not depressed.
Aether raised his head, trying to regain composure by looking at where he was going. He didn’t knew anymore how to have a “normal face” or to “act casually”, but he tried his best. Even though his chest hurts painfully as if Rex Lapis put the biggest and strongest stone in it and his throat is tight and dry as the Sumeru desert. And even if he had this painful feeling, he had to act as if it wasn’t there. He had to. For the sake of all those that needed and still need his help.
Paimon, still thinking of her rumbling stomach, kept moving ahead of him while grumbling about how emotionless Aether was regarding her starving to death. Maybe was he too good at hiding his emotions.
Arriving at Wangshu Inn, Paimon rushed to the counter to order food as quickly as possible, leaving Aether behind. As she finished ordering the astronomical amount of food she wanted to swallow, Aether approached her as he had been waiting for her.
“I’m going upstairs. I’m not really hungry and a bit tired.”
“Hm-kay !”
Paimon was absorbed by the menu, trying to find something she would like to eat too. The right time for the traveler to leave.
Heavily climbing the steps to the bedroom, the heaviness in his chest became increasingly noticeable, making it difficult to breathe. Only a few steps remained to reach the door, and then there would be no more need to wear his mask, no more pretense.
Only a few steps and he would be at peace. Only a few steps and he would be able to huff… Only a few steps… one more step…
He nearly tripped and caught himself just in time, turning his back to the wall as his body shook with each ragged breath. One hand on his chest, hunched forward, he forced his eyes closed to focus on his breathing. Why was this happening? And why now? Why here? He was just incredibly exhausted, so why was his breathing playing tricks on him? As he thought about all the people around him and the risk of someone seeing him in this state, his breathing worsened as he clutched his clothes to his chest. His ears were ringing, his head was spinning, and his eyes were held shut so tightly they hurt, and still, there was nothing he could do about it.
In an almost superhuman effort, he grabbed the room key, unlocked the door, and immediately rushed in, letting himself slip against the door as his entire body felt like turning into stone.
Was he going to die? He couldn’t die here, right now… But nothing would change if he were… There was nothing left to do for him. No hope for himself, for any future. He was trapped in the body of a hero he wasn’t with the blood of past friends under his shoes and the one of ennemies of the seven nations on his hands. He was surrounded with people searching for hope as he craved for friends and acknowledgement.
He was seen as hope as he was searching for it.
And as the only friend he thought he ever had in this world seemed to abandon him day by day, ignoring how bad he was feeling and how emotionless she thought he was, he couldn’t help but think of how this world would be better without him. With his knees drawn up to his chest and his head resting on them, he tried to calm his heart and his breathing by forcing himself to press his hand against his torso. His nails tore at his skin and his vision blurred between tears and the air he couldn't breathe.
If he was about to die, he didn’t knew if he was ready for it. Maybe it would be a relief, too horrible to bear. Torture was far more horrible than death. But he had no way to stop it anymore. It was too late.
He thought back to all the good memories he'd experienced. All those moments when he'd felt good, like he belonged. Those laughs with Barbatos, or Venti as he liked to be called… Mondstadt was truly peaceful and pleasant. That fireworks display in Inazuma with Yoimiya. The Lantern Rite with Xiao... and all those precious moments with him. The battle at Liyue Harbor... when he saved him from a fatal fall.
But all those memories were gone. He couldn't do anything anymore. And as his breathing became increasingly labored and he gave in to despair, another memory returned.
"If you awake to a knife at your throat, if monsters dig their claws into you, if death comes knocking at your door… call out my name… I will be here when you call.”
Slowly, with difficulty, a groan emerged from the traveler's throat before he quietly uttered a word, a name.
“… Xiao…”
A shape appeared directly from a black mist at the bedroom window. It all seemed unreal, the real blending with the false as Aether struggled with a pain he was now running from.
"Traveller?.."
The shape ventured into the room before stopping abruptly.
"Aether?!”