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She felt the jolt before she heard anything, arms flying on their own to bring the other closer, hands running through silky hair even before her eyes opened.
Shiho’s breathing was broken and gasping against her neck, something wet and distantly uncomfortable, but she couldn’t care less, not while she was still trembling in her arms.
“Shhh,” she whispered softly, thumb rubbing against the corner of her eyes as she tried to move to make them more comfortable. “I’ve got you, I’ve got you now, it’s ok, I’m here…”
She could feel the gasps getting wetter, closer to sobs, as trembling hands clenched painfully into her shirt, fingers digging into soft skin beneath.
Ann tried so shuffle her even closer, her own arms trembling from how hard she held onto Shiho.
She forced herself to relax her hold, going back to running a hand through dark hair and the other rubbing comfortably against a still shaking back.
“You’re in our hotel room.” She started, lilting her voice lower, softer. “In Hokkaido. Where we are vacationing.” She continued, fingers steady. “It’s just the two of us here. Away from everything. From everyone. Just you and me, Shiho, and the damned cold of winter because we didn’t bring nearly enough covers. Just you and me. No one else.”
There was a little hitch, a flick of something wet against her throat — but slowly, very slowly, Shiho’s breaths felt like coming back to normal. A painful sob still wrecked her once or twice, but it was at least a little further apart, now.
“I’ve got you, darling.” She repeated, whispering against the silky strands of hair against her face. “Come back to me.”
Holding the trembling and terrified form of her girlfriend in her arms, Ann often wondered if she’d chosen wrong, two years ago. Maybe death was too soft a punishment for him, but if it meant that Shiho would never have to be afraid of him again…
But she held on, ran her hands through her girlfriend’s hair, and ignored that little thought. It had been two years, and Shiho was so damned strong. Ann didn’t think anything could have fixed this, not truly, and she didn’t want a magical fix, anyway, she just wanted…
She just wanted to offer Shiho a little bit of peace.
Just wanted Shiho to know she was loved.
“I’ve got you…”
And it hurt. It hurt so damn much that she would always know this had come to pass to someone who meant the world to her, but she was also so damn glad to be allowed here. In Shiho’s bed. Holding her. Feeling her heartbeat pressed so closely to her own.
It would always hurt, and she would forever wonder if death could have done anything for them, but it would also always be worth something to have Shiho’s wet face pressed close to hers, Shiho’s voice still trembling just a bit but oh-so-confident when she whispered back:
“I know. I know, Ann. I love you too.”
The hurt would not go away — but neither would their love. And if that meant holding Shiho after a nightmare, or kissing her tears away…
Well. There were worse things to devote the rest of her life to.