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"Caz?"
"Caz, get up."
"Caz, seriously, you're scaring me."
"Cassius!"
The boy shoots up in his bed, breaths heavy.
"Geez, finally! Are you okay? You were shaking like a leaf."
Cassius' eyes dart around the familiar room of his commune, one with too many beds with too little people to fill them. He looks up at the one that woke him, another Rabbit.
Rabbits aren't supposed to speak.
"They're not around, you can talk."
He shakes his head. Going against them has consequences, punishments his body is too weak to endure.
"Fine..." his acquaintance sighs, "But... are you okay, though?"
He nods. It was just another nightmare, the same one he's been having for years.
He's a rabbit.
He jumps away.
The wolves follow close behind.
They grab him, digging their claws into his flesh and tinting his gray fur with red.
They rip his jaw in two, destroying the one part of him that still worked as intended.
His eyes were too sensitive to the light, he couldn't join the outside meetings without getting headaches.
His eardrums were on full blast, he could hear everything yet sometimes nothing at all.
He's lost the ability to taste food. He doesn't know what anything tastes like anymore.
His finger pads have been rubbed raw against the concrete from hours of forced prayer to a god he didnt believe in.
All he could ever smell was fear, hatred, rage, hunger.
They're going to eat him.
Then he wakes up, often at the hands of another follower.
He's never been one to believe in coincidences or even dreams holding the truth locked away behind a mind that will forget it when the morning comes.
But this was real.
He could feel it— everything they did to him in and out of his sleep.
He never asked for any of this.
He was forced into this life when he was just five years old at the hands of a woman he never wanted to call his mother.
He may have been born from her, but she had never done a single thing to deserve that title— the title of parent.
What kind of mother would force her son into a community like that?
What kind of parent would watch as their child was tied down and silenced by men twenty years older than them?
What kind of monster would sit there with a smile on its face, laughing while its own flesh and blood gets torn apart by those same adults for its entire childhood?
What did he, an innocent child, do to deserve this?
Nothing.
"Caz, breathe."
Oh, right. There was someone next to him.
They were treated nicer then him. Why?
He never understood what the Wolves did. They were the cruelest towards him.
Was it because he was weaker?
For a teenage boy, he has less muscle than others, making him easier to toss around— easier to use.
He hates them.
The Wolves, the Rabbits, all of them.
He should've run when he had the chance.
'Just listen to us, and you'll be okay.'
Five.
'You need to be quiet. We wouldn't want the others to hear, now would we?'
Eight.
'You're doing so good, I'm starting to think you wanted this.'
Ten.
'You're so pretty for a boy, are you sure you're not a girl?'
Thirteen.
'If you were a girl, i'd make you my wife—'
Fifteen.
'—my personal breeding slave.'
He should've run.
He needs to run.
But... how? This place is surrounded by Wolves— by killers. It's almost impossible for someone to leave once they're in.
Usually, the only way out is... death.
He's never been afraid of dying. He's more scared of the pain and process, but he knows it would be worth it in the end.
By now, the person next to him had left, they've given up on trying to get him to respond. He looks around, searching for a way out, something he could use.
The Wolves hide anything dangerous, making sure the Rabbits can't run away.
Dread fills his body when he realizes there was truly only one way to do this.
He needs to speak.
A simple yet dangerous task, one that's bound to destroy him— but that's exactly what he wants.
He takes a moment to think about whether or not he was genuinely ready for this.
'I need to get out.' He reminds himself.
"I need—" he coughs, his vocal chords screaming from not being used properly in years, "I need to run away."
He lets out a heavy exhale and begins his walk to an area he knows many Wolves will be— the courtyard.
Rabbits aren't usually allowed in the courtyard, they belong in their rooms.
"Cassius," a sharp, heavy voice finds him, "what are you doing here? It's late, you should be in your room."
On instinct, Cassius freezes and raises his shoulders, trying to make himself seem smaller. Just like a real rabbit.
He slowly turns to face the Wolf, fear surging when he realizes which one it was.
'I'd make you my wife—'
The teen shudders at the memory.
"You're so tense all the time..." The older man approaches the Rabbit with a smirk on his face, gently sliding his fingers across Cassius' shoulder. "I can help with that, you know~" he chuckles.
Cassius shakes his head, making the man hum in confusion. "Oh? You're denying?" he scoffs, "It's funny; the way you think you have a choice." He leans down and traps the teens arms by his side before crashing their lips together.
The Rabbit screams out in the kiss, trying his hardest to sqiurm away to no avail.
"Fighting will only make it worse, darling." The man chuckles when he backs away. He grips Cassius' wrist and drags him to a hidden area, throwing him against the wall as his lips find the teens neck.
The mans movements were rough, precise in their path as his hands trail lower along the teens crotch.
He needs to speak, he needs to yell, he needs to scream.
So, he does.
"St‐stop..!" He cries, shutting his eyes out of pure fear of how the Wolf will react to his rebellion.
The mans actions come to a full halt at the Rabbits words. However, it wasn't because he listened; it was because he heard.
A Rabbit spoke— against him, no less.
"What was that?" He demands.
Cassius lets out loud, heavy breaths before opening his mouth.
"Please..." he begs, tears streaming down his face.
The man narrows his eyes in a sick amusement. "Interesting." He gently hooks his fingers under the boys chin, forcing eye contact. "You're being awfully disrespectful... surely you know what happens when you break the rules. Right, Cassie?"
Cassie.
The name only he gave the teen to make him feel like a girl.
The name Cassius hates the most.
"Well? Since you suddenly enjoy talking so much, tell me what happens." His hand drops to the teens throat, holding it with minimal pressure— an unspoken warning.
Cassius swallows, the feeling on his throat making him nauseous.
"Go on, sweetheart... speak." He tightens his grip ever so slightly.
"I—" he winces, "I don't— don't want this..!"
"Is that so..?" The man hums and lowers his eyes, looking between them. "I fear your body doesn't agree with you." He chuckles and traces his finger along the teens betraying body. "She's so excited to see me~!" He leans to Cassius' ear. "Just be a good girl and let me have some fun, yeah? Maybe... I'll forgive this little stunt of yours."
Cassius cries out and tries his best to avoid the mans touch, every effort useless. "N-no!" He yells, "Don't touch—" he words are cut off by the hand around his throat tightening.
"Annoying." The man growls as his other hand grips the teens crotch, making the boy cry even louder. "If you don't shut up, Cassie, I'll make you regret ever having vocal cords."
This was it; it was working. He's getting what he wanted— anger.
Just a little further...
"No," he repeats, "you— you're no leader." He grits his teeth when the hand tightens more, the mans nails digging into the sides of his neck. "You're— you're a—" he coughs, "you're a monster."
With that, the man snaps; squeezing with all his strength.
"You think you're so fucking special, huh?" His nails begin to draw blood. "You think because I have a little fun with you, that you'll get some sort of special treatment? You're dead fucking wrong, Cassie."
Dead?
He was definitely starting to feel dead. With the way his breath was limited by the grip on his airway, he knew he was tumbling to the edge much faster than he thought he would.
His vision was beginning to go black around the edges, the rest blurred by tears. Just as he thinks it's finally over, his breathlessness turns into pain as the mans nails— his claws— dig into his throat, opening it up.
He screams, the volume loud enough to break glass. The mans fingers enter his throat, harshly searching for something. With each finger, the bigger the entry point gets, tearing his skin apart with sheer force.
He could feel everything; the fingers, the tears, the blood trickling down his body from each movement. After an excruciating five minutes, the man finds when he was looking for, hooks his fingers around it, and tugs.
Cassius could no longer make a sound.
With each pop, each crack, each squelch of his blood, all he could do was let it happen. The Wolf soon pulls hard enough for an even louder popping sound to be heard and his hand was torn away, letting the teen fall to the floor.
Cassius couldn't move, he couldnt speak, he couldn't breathe.
This is what he wanted... right? He's going to die now, right?
"Cassie... my sweet, sweet Cassie..." The man kneels down to the boy, holding his prize out in front of him. "It's truly sad that things came to this... I enjoyed feeling you— making you mine..." he sighs. "I guess all good things must come to an end eventually."
He lifts the Rabbits face and leaves one final kiss on the boys lips with genuine emotion for the first time, as if he was actually disappointed. When he pulls away, Cassius could barely see him anymore, he could feel his body shutting down.
"It was nice knowing you, Cassius." The man stands up, turns, and leaves.
He just walks away, part of the teens body still in his hand.
It didn't take long for Cassius' body to fall to the side with a loud thud, head slamming into the concrete ground beneath him.
His final moments felt bittersweet.
He was glad to finally be out, but he quite literally died trying.
Either way... he won.
He got out, just like he wanted.
His eyes don't even close, his vision simply goes black and his body completely ragdolls against the floor.
"Hey, Cass... it's okay, wake up buddy."
His eyes shoot open, hand flying towards his throat as he sits up.
He looks to his right, a calendar neatly hung on the wall.
He looks to his left, Akari— his roommate and teacher— calmly hovering his hands over the teen, reminding him that he was safe.
The first thing he does is jump into Akaris arms, holding him with all the strength he has. Times like this, he wishes he could cry out and scream, but he can't. Since he arrived in this new world, his appearance reflected his old self too perfectly.
Eighty percent of his face was taken over by a gray and purple fuzzy rabbit mask that he cannot remove— as if it's part of his real face. He has no mouth, no nose; just an eye and a large rabbit ear. He was forced into silence once more, just like back then.
At least now, he doesn't have to worry about finding other ways to communicate— he was allowed to.
The elder rubs his back as tears cover their sweater. "Shh... it's okay bud... It was just a dream." They whisper, doing their best to comfort the teen. "They're not here, you don't need to be scared."
Nearly a full five minutes later, they separate. Cassius sits back on his bed as Akari dries his tears.
"Better?"
The teen nods.
"That's good," Akari smiles, "Wanna tell me what happened?"
Cassisus' eyes fall and he weakly points to his permanently bandaged throat.
"Oh... that one again?" Akari knew exactly what that meant by now.
Cassius nods.
"I'm sorry, bud..." Akari gently rubs the teens shoulder. "Just remember that they aren't here, okay? They can't hurt you anymore."
The teen nods one final times and signs a small 'thank you' to the other.
"Of course, Cass. I have no problem helping you out, you know that." Akari sits next to him. "We both went through hell during our childhoods, it's only right that we look after each other, don't you think?" They ask with a warm, comforting smile. They could probably still see the fear surrounding the teen and wanted to make it go away.
Cassius has always been curious as to what emotion surrounds him on a normal day, but was never sure how to ask.
It's not like he can speak.
Curiosity is killing him, though. He and Akari have been practicing sign language so... maybe he can try? He's not great at it, but it's worth a shot.
He makes a small waving gesture to signal wanting to speak and Akari gives him their full attention.
'Me... emotion... always?' was what he managed to get out.
"Hm?" Akari tilts their head in thought before making a loud gasp of realization. "Oh! You want to know what emotion i see around you most often?"
Cassius quickly nods, genuinely surprised the elder managed to understand him.
"Well, usually I see fear like I do right now." Their eyes travel around the teens body rather than directly at it. "Recently though, I've been seeing small sparks of happiness mixed in. I know you're usually on edge, so it's nice to see something else every now and then." They give the boy a smile. "Have you been happy recently?"
Cassius wasn't sure how to respond, he can't remember the last time he was genuinely happy. But... maybe he has been.
He's been enjoying his time with Akari and the others... maybe... that's what happiness felt like?
'What... happy... feel?'
"Happiness... hm..." Akari thinks hard about their words before speaking. "Like you, I never knew happiness until I showed up here, so... I may not know much more than you, but... I think happiness is having fun, enjoying what you're doing and never wanting it to end; like you're floating around and never want to come down. Does that make sense?"
Cassius thinks back to each time the group had gone out, the people he's met at school, even just the conversation he's having right now.
He... feels happy.
Akari sees his eyes soften. They could tell that if he had a mouth, there would be the smallest trace of a smile on it.
"That's good." The teen didn't even need to answer, Akari could see the green showing itself even more than just a few seconds ago. "You deserve to be happy, Cass. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise."
'You... happy too?' The teen tilts his head.
"Me?" Akari chuckles, "Yeah, I'm happy too." They look down at their hands with a quiet sigh. "I might not be able to see it... but i can feel it."
Akari has mentioned before that even when they feel certain emotions, they're unable to see them like they can with others. They are surrounded by a constant black smoke that doesn't shift whatsoever.
They let out an exhale before looking back at the teen. "By the way, you have school today, remember?" They point at the clock. "Go on and get ready."
The teen slouches in protest, but stands and searches through his closet nonetheless.
He hears Akari chuckling before the door opens. "Have fun today, bud." they say before the door shuts behind them.
'...fun,' he thinks to himself. 'I can do that... I can have fun; i can... I can be happy.'
He could feel himself wanting to smile.
He can finally live how he wants.
He can be a rabbit without consequences; without living in fear of Wolves; without being torn apart for so much as being a Rabbit.
He can finally be happy.