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Much like every day after school, Vivid BAD SQUAD was at their typical meeting place, Weekend Garage, getting some practice in for an upcoming show.
As per usual, they put all of their energy into their music, as if it's the only thing fueling their lives. Some of them more than others, however.
More specifically, Akito.
They all know he has a bad habit of overworking himself to the point of getting sick, but... something was different this time. Since he arrived, Toya noticed him moving slower than usual. When he asked, Akito brushed him off with an obvious lie that the taller forced himself to accept. He knows that Akito likely wouldn't be telling him the truth, so he had no choice but to give in.
Each time he would step back after singing or rapping his lines, he'd shake his head with a few rapid blinks before continuing like nothing was wrong.
This did not go unnoticed either. He's never done it before, and Toya just knew he would have to have a serious talk with his lover after practice.
Unfortunately, it didn't look like they would be getting there today.
It was once again Akitos turn to sing, but the second he stood in front, it was as if his body simply... gave up. The mic he was holding slips out of his hand, his eyes shut, and he falls forward, slamming his head on the counter before hitting the ground below him. It looked similar to a puppets strings being cut as he completely ragdolls on the floor.
The sound of screaming quickly replaced their lyrics, the music no longer audible over the teens panic. An runs into the storage room to find her father, returning with him just seconds later. Kohane calls an ambulance while Ken— Ans father— tries his best to assess Akitos condition until they arrive. Toya remains close by, trembling as he grips onto Akitos hand as he prays that he wakes up.
"What the hell happened?" Ken questions the teens.
"I— I don't know." Toya shakes his head. "He just... passed out. He hit his head too..."
"I can see that..." Ken sucks in a pained breath when he sees the evidence of said impact on the teens head. "Geez... An, get me the med-kit."
His daughter rushes to grab it and practically tosses it across the room to get it there faster. The man does the best he can do cover up the wound until proper help shows up, at least getting the bleeding to stop.
When the blaring sirens finally get to their location, Akito is hurried to the nearest hospital along with Toya in the vehicle with them. Ken closes the shop for the day and drives the girls to meet them there.
On the way there, Toya messages Ena, Akitos older sister, and tells her what happened. She immediately answers and tells their parents. Akitos father is currently out of the country, but will return in a few days. Until then, it's just Ena and their mother.
Akito doesn't wake up until the next day. As expected, everything was extremely fuzzy to him. He couldn't see very well, his head hurt, he feels like he's having some out of body experience. The bright hospital lights definitely weren't helping, either.
"Akito..?" A soft voice calls out from beside him. Despite being quiet, it hurt like hell. He was feeling way too sensitive. He shifts his eyes towards the sound to see a slightly blurry mix of two shades of blue.
"...T-Tou—?" He coughs, his throat was on fire.
The figure next to him grabs what Akito assumes is a cup of water and helps him take small sips until the cup was empty.
"Aki... how are you feeling?"
Akitos shaky hands slowly creep up to his ears and cover them, nails digging into the side of his head as he curls into a ball with a whine. It's too loud.
Everything is too loud.
Toyas posture straightens in worry at the sight. He quickly presses the button for a doctor to come and see Akito and make sure he was okay.
When the staff arrive, they dim the lights for his comfort and check on some basic motor functions before moving to cognitive tests.
"Alright, Shinonome..." He speaks quietly, already noting some worrisome issues with his hearing. "Can you tell me what's hurting you at the moment?"
It takes Akito a full ten seconds to respond, which he only does by putting his hand up to his head.
The doctor lets out a pained sigh and writes some notes down. "Alright... since you're awake, we'll take you for a few more tests to figure out what happened, okay?"
Akito weakly nods. Within a few minutes he's wheeled over to another room where they remove his earrings along with any other metal he might have on him.
He's put into a giant, loud, metallic tube and told to just... wait.
So, he does. It's not like he could do much of anything else at the moment.
Once that was done, he's taken to another room and has a strange object put onto his head with hundreds of wires attached to it.
"This will help us see a bit more about what might have happened, okay? It's uncomfortable, but it's the best way for us to see." The doctor calmly explains as he's toying with the object.
During the monitoring, all Akito could think of is how badly he messed up at practice. He ruined it.
He's always been such a burden to his team, he knows that. His voice is never perfect, he doesn't have enough energy, he has too much energy...
He's tearing his team apart.
He was so focused on that, that he didn't notice the doctors hand on his shoulder. "Hey, what's going on?" The man could see his stress on the monitor. "You need to stay calm for me."
Akito shuts his eyes and nods, trying his best to listen. His body didn't seem to like that, as his leg started bouncing against the seat. He just... needed a way to get this stress to go away.
Next thing he knows, he's back in his hospital room. There's no weird contraption on him, he's not surrounded by machines he doesnt recognize, he's... alone.
He feels just as fuzzy as he did the first time he woke up. He was confused. He doesn't know what's happening to him anymore, his head hurts; his entire body hurts, actually. He just wants to go home.
After what he assumes to be an hour, the door opens and multiple people enter. Along with a doctor was his mother, sister, Ken, and his group mates.
"Ah, you're awake. How are you feeling?" The doctor checks his vitals as he speaks.
"...bad."
"That's expected..." the man hums. "Does anything hurt?"
Akito nods and points to his head just like before.
"Alright... just give a moment." The man heads across the room and begins searching through his notes and information.
As he's doing that, Akitos mother walks up to him. "Hey buddy... you doing okay?"
Akito doesn't answer, he doesn't really know how.
"Aki..." Toya speaks up. "Do you know why you keep passing out?"
"He isn't, actually." The doctor returns to the group.
"...what do you mean?" His mother questions.
"Well, he is, but it's not caused by normal means such as dehydration or exhaustion. Both instances were what we call 'vasovagal syncope'. It's a type of fainting disorder that happens when a persons body overreacts to certain triggers as a way to protect them." He explains. "These types of fainting spells can often be caused by sudden fear, pain, and even built up stress; which is exactly what happened with you." He gestures to Akito.
"He... has a fainting disorder..?" His mothers eyes widen in concern. "But... why? Did you find anything in the scans?"
"Nothing threatening, no. However, just before the second one happened, your brain and body showed a large amount of stress. Did that happen the first time?"
Akito shifts his gaze, it did happen. Nobody was supposed to know about that.
"I see." The doctor picked up on it easily. "And... have you been having any other issues lately? Any... headaches or dizzy spells?"
Akitos eyes squeeze shut as the pain in his head spikes for a moment. "Kinda..." he mumbles.
"Akito..." His mother puts her hand on his shoulder. "How long have you been having these issues?"
"...few months..."
"What..?! Why didn't you tell anyone?!"
Her raising her voice only made the pain worse, his hands fly to his ears to shut it out.
"Ma'am, please stay calm." The doctor urges. "He has a minor concussion from hitting his head, some of his senses are extremely sensitive at the moment."
"Right... sorry, Akito."
Akito carefully uncovers his ears once things were quiet.
"So, as i was saying..." the doctor continues, "he seems to be having stress related spells. Has he mentioned any of this to any of you?"
They all shake their heads.
All of them but Toya. "...he has." He admits quietly.
"Every time he did, though, he'd act like he was joking— like it didn't really affect him that much. I tried to tell him to rest, but... he didn't. He insisted on continuing practice as if nothing was wrong."
Akito looks away. Everything Toya said was true— painfully true. He's embarrassed, hes ashamed, he's... humiliated.
"I see..." the doctor hums, "By the way you're speaking, I take it... this happens quite often?"
Toya nods. "Not to this level, but... he has a habit of overworking himself until he gets sick. I guess... it went too far this time."
An and Kohane quietly nod in agreement. They've all seen it before, especially during practices.
"Alright... Well, Shinonome... you need to learn to manage your stress in safer ways. Overworking yourself is extremely dangerous, surely you know this?"
Akito nods.
"As your doctor, I can only help with the medical aspect of this... can I suggest therapy or even expressing yourself to your friends and family more? If this is causing you to collapse like this, it's clearly more than just typical anxiety or stress at that point. It's become somewhat of a weapon to your own body that you need to get rid of before it tears you apart."
The mans words hurt.
They really, really hurt.
Akito knows he's right; he knows he should listen. But having those things said to him... it only made him feel weaker, as if he can't take care of himself.
Maybe he can't.
Either way, he nods. That's all he's good for at this point.
With Akitos confirmation, the doctor leaves with his mother and Ena to discuss the next step.
"Akito..." An sits beside him on a chair. "Why didn't you tell us anything? We would've helped, you know..."
"I know..." the boy mumbles.
"Then... why didn't you say anything?" Kohane joins.
Akito turns away from his friends, not wanting to do so much as think anymore. His head hurts, his body hurts, he just wants to go to sleep.
Part of him wishes he didn't wake up in the first place.
"Aki..." Toya sighs. "Do you... want us to leave?"
That question brings Akitos mind to a forked road. He wants them to leave, to never come back, to just leave him to die.
At the same time, though... he never wants them to be out of his sight. He knows he's safer with them, that they care about him.
There's just one thing that Akito cant figure out.
Why.
Why him? Of all people, why do they care about him?
"Aki..?"
"please..."
He decided can't bear to hear their pitiful voices anymore.
He hears a collective sigh, chairs and shoes shuffling, a low voice comforting An, a door opening and closing, then silence.
Heavy, terrifying silence.
He remains still, like a weeping angel that has eyes watching him from every angle. He wants to move, but he can't.
Oh... there's that funny feeling again.
He's dizzy, his eyes feel like they're moving on their own, making the entire room spin.
This was what happened the first time, but of course he didn't tell anyone.
◇
"Akito, are you sure you're alright to practice today? Something is clearly bothering you."
"I'm good, really. Stop worryin' all the time."
"But, Akito, you know how this place works, don't you? We know something is wrong. I understand not wanting to tell us, but... at least go get some rest or something."
"Rin, seriously. I'm—" Akito suddenly pauses, shuts his eyes, and shakes his head before rapidly blinking.
"Akito..? What's—"
"I'm goin' home. This shit's pissin' me off anyway."
"Oh, okay... stay s—"
The second Akito returns home, he loses balance and leans against the wall for stability. "Geez, what's my deal?" he huffs. "First my head hurts, now this?"
As he's standing there attempting to regain both his strength and thoughts, he starts to feel... fuzzy. No matter where he looks, everything around him was blurred. He shuts his eyes to try and get it to stop, but he can still feel it— the lightheaded feeling from earlier. His entire body was slowly heating up and his hearing was becoming muffled.
He was trying his hardest not to panic; thinking that maybe it'll go away, but nothing was working. He feels his hand leave the wall, and the next thing he knows, he's waking up on his floor.
He slowly sits up, holding his aching head with his free hand. "The hell..?" He looks around, everything was clear again. He was still dizzy and slightly confused, but he didn't feel... however he felt before.
He checks his clock, however, and his heart sinks.
Ten. It's ten at night.
He knows for a fact he was in SEKAI at seven, and he didn't even stay that long.
Was he out... for three hours?!
No, that's no possible, right?
He grabs his phone and looks up whatever he can think of and quickly learns that it is, in fact, not very possible. Knowing that, he relaxes a small bit.
Then... why was it suddenly so late?
As more minor details pop up in his brain, he answers his own question.
After we woke up, he just... sat there for a while.
He doesn't exactly know why, but he was too exhausted to move, so he didn't.
What he does know, is that nobody can find out about this.
Nobody.
◇
"Damn it..." he hisses.
"Stupid. 'm so fuckin' stupid..." He finally lies back down, curling on his side under the thin covers.
He knows he should've just told them— Toya, at least, his own boyfriend. But no, he decided to be stubborn and keep it to himself despite knowing how dangerous it could be.
He's such an idiot.
Eventually, his family returns with the doctor and they begin discussing possible medication and treatments, all of which Akito dreaded.
Drugs? Therapy?
He doesn't need any of that.
He just needs...
He needs...
What does he need, exactly?
He doesn't even know anymore.
"Akito, are you listening?" Ena quietly gets his attention.
He nods, but his expression remains distant.
He can't even tell if the lack of focus is from the concussion or fainting, but does it really even matter? It's not like he can perform like this.
........
...perform.
...right.
He can't perform in this state.
He... can't do much of anything in this state.
He's useless, isn't he?
Completely.
Utterly.
Useless.
"Akito, what's wrong?"
Ena, again.
Why does she even bother?
He knows she hates him anyway.
Toya probably hates him too, doesn't he?
They all hate him. He knows it.
"Aki—"
"Shut up, Ena!" he suddenly snaps, clutching his head in regret immediately after.
Ena takes a step back.
"But... Akito—"
"...please..." he cries.
Fuck, he's crying.
Something he absolutely despises doing, especially in front of other people.
"I think... you two should head home for the night." The doctor suggests. "He's likely still sensitive from the concussion, so I can't have him get too worked up."
"...right, okay." Ena sighs.
"We're going, okay?" His mom gives him a quick kiss on the head. "We love you, bud."
All Akito does is look away in shame, he has nothing to say.
Once they're gone, the doctor stands at Akitos side, messing around with some wires Akito was too tired to ask about.
"I'll have to come and monitor you throughout the night, but I'll try not to wake you when I do. For now, just try to get some proper rest, alright?"
Akito nods, the doctor moves, turns out the lights, and leaves the teen alone.
He doesn't know how long he was lying there, but before he knew it, the sun was rising. He doesn't remember falling asleep. Did he sleep?
He's given up on trying to figure it out.
A quiet knock followed by the door sliding open snapped him out of whatever mindset he was in as the doctor enters the room.
"Oh, good morning." The man was cheery as always. "Did you sleep well?"
"...dunno." Akito mumbles as he sits up.
He felt bad for how he was acting yesterday, he might as well at least try to cooperate properly, right?
"That's alright." The man checks what he needs to and backs up. "Are you still in any pain?"
Akito shakes his head. He definitely felt better psychically than he did before.
"That's good!" The man quietly celebrates. "That's very good, actually. And, your head; any... dizziness? Blurred vision? Anything like that?"
Akito looks around the room to search for any of those signs, unlike the day before, there was nothing.
"...no."
"Wonderful." The doctor give Akito a warm smile. "Now... as for your other issue." He takes a seat next to the teen. "You may be healing fine physically, but... what's going on up there, huh?" He gestures to his own head for specification. "This entire thing is being caused by something you, clearly, have no intentions of telling people about, correct?"
Akito slouches and nods ever so slightly. He knows exactly what's causing it— stress and overworking himself. But, it's just him, it's not like he's someone special that needs to be worried about.
...he's not, right?
"Then, you also know that if you don't deal with that half of it, the other half might never go away. If it stays with you, it could cause even more issues down the line." The man remains as calm as he could, gently explaining Akitos situation. "You're still young, Shinonome... don't let this be the thing that takes you down."
The ginger thinks about the mans words for a solid thirty seconds, even after the doctor gets up to do something by a desk.
"...are they mad at me?" he quietly asks.
"Who..? The people that were here yesterday?"
Akito nods.
"They're not mad at you, they're worried. I mean, one of your friends was crying when they brought you in."
Akito tenses up.
Crying?
Over him?
"...who?"
"I didn't catch his name... but the young boy with blue hair. He was absolutely hysterical that day. I haven't seen someone that scared in a while."
"...Toya?"
"I believe so, yes."
Akitos heart shatters.
Toya... was scared?
He scared Toya? The one person he promised he'd never hurt?
He... hurt him?
"...oh." He breathes. "...sorry."
"I'm not someone you should be apologizing to." The man hands Akito a cup of water. "I know i sound like I'm being mean, but I'm only trying to help you understand the severity of your condition. Yes, it's common and relatively harmless; but if it keeps happening as often as it has been... you could put yourself into some real danger one day if it happens at the wrong time."
The doctor takes a second to make sure that Akito was listening before continuing.
"How long has this been happening, Shinonome?"
"...which part?"
"All of it. The stress, the headaches, the fainting; all of it. I need you to tell me so I can help you."
Akito hates submitting like this, but he knows he has to.
"...a while. Like... I dunno... a year?"
The man takes a stressed inhale. "Alright... and when within that year did you first collapse? And how many times has it happened since then?"
"...few months ago. And... like..." Akito tries his best to remember each time, and actually realizing the number made him feel even worse. There's no way it happened that much, right? "...fifteen..? Or something around that... Over ten."
"Okay... thank you." The man writes down the new information. "One final question; was there a specific event this started after or because of? Or is it only when you're simply stressed out?"
Akito goes to answer yes to the second part, but stops himself.
No, that's not right.
It was because of an event; their event. It all started because of one particular comment.
"Shinonome, you're the least interesting out of all of them."
Normal people probably would've let something like that go quickly and focus on improving, but not Akito.
He takes things to heart, dwelling on them until he deems himself 'fixed'.
And that's exactly what he did that time.
Since then he's been trying his hardest to improve, but he feels as if he's not getting anywhere; if anything, he's getting worse.
His team has told him that he's overreacting and not to listen to the comments, but he knows he's bringing them down; he's failing them.
"Shinonome? You still with me?"
Akito jolts and looks over at the man. "O-oh, yeah... sorry."
"It's alright, do you think you can answer my question? Is there a trigger for these spells?"
The teen hesitantly nods.
"Okay... thank you. I really appreciate your input today."
"...mhm."
"Visiting hours will open soon, are you alright with that? Or would you rather be alone today?"
After the day before, he'd be surprised if anyone even wanted to see him in the first place.
Even so, he nods. "...'ts fine."
The man gives him one final smile and nod before exiting the room to finish his rounds.
He's soon given breakfast, and the first visitor arrives.
Toya.
"Hey, Aki..." He sits down next to Akitos bed, speaking cautiously. "How are you feeling?"
Akitos eyes fall, there's too many things he wants to say— things he has to say. But... he doesn't know how.
So, all he comes out with is a quiet, pitiful "sorry".
He hears Toya let out a heavy exhale before smiling. "It's okay. I'm glad you're speaking to me, though."
"Tou'..." Akito whispers, "I... I fucked it up, didn't i?"
"What do you mean..?"
"Practice..."
Toya furrows his brows. "Aki, you didn't—"
"You can be honest, I know I screwed up—"
There was a heavy silence before Akito continued
"...just like I always do."
"Aki, you didn't screw anything up. Why would you even think that?"
"Look at me, Tou'. I'm in the hospital all 'cause I thought I'd be fine. Guess what— I wasn't. Now... we won't even be able to go to that event... it's all my fault..."
"Akito." Toya suddenly grabs Akitos face, forcing him to make eye contact. "Stop blaming yourself all the time. Yes, I wish you had told us— or at least me— about this. But... I understand why you didn't. Either way... I don't want you to think that any of us are upset with you because of it... we're just worried. We're upset at ourselves for not noticing how bad it was. I can't stand to see you like this all on your own... I'm your boyfriend, and the girls are our best friends... you need to rely on us more... please, Aki?"
Akito lets out a shaky breath. His heart hurts from Toyas words. To know that even after how royally he messed everything up, Toya still cares.
Does he really deserve this kindness?
"I..." he doesn't know what to say as his eyes shift away from his lover.
"Aki, look at me."
Akito slowly does as hes told.
"I love you. We all do, but me especially. Please remember that."
Love...
If... Toya says he deserves that... maybe it's true... right?
"I... love you too..." the ginger whispers back. "I... I—" Akito feels the too familiar feeling of tears beginning to surface as his heart rate speeds up, something Toya quickly noticed.
"Aki, calm down. Just breathe, okay?"
Akito shakes and lowers his head into Toyas chest. "I'm sorry... I'm so sorry..." Despite how hard he tried to stop, he ends up completely breaking down in Toyas arms.
"It's okay... I forgive you, I promise. You need to calm down, okay?" Toya rubs Akitos back, trying his best to make him relax.
They were so focused on each other, that neither of them heard the door opening, nor did they hear the three people walk in.
They didn't notice the crowd until one of them spoke up.
"...Akito?"
The boys jumped up and swung their heads to the familiar voice.
"D-Dad?"
Shinonome Shinei, a notorious bother in Akitos life.
"Hello." The man greets the boys, to which Toya quickly stood to bow.
"H-hello..! Sorry, we didn't hear you come in—"
"I noticed." The man had a rough edge in every word he said, something Akito had gotten used to.
There's just... one problem with this current situation.
Shinei doesn't know Akito and Toya are dating.
Hell, he doesn't even know that Akito likes men in the first place. Only his mother and sister do.
"U-uh... Akito..!" Ena tries to divert the conversation for her brothers sake. "We— we heard you're doing better today?"
Akito nods. "Yeah... a little."
"That's good..! Dad, why don't you—"
"Are you two dating?"
All three of the teens tense up.
Ena straightens herself up a second time. "Does— does that really matt—"
"Answer me, Akito."
The boys share fearful glances, both unsure of what to say.
Akito could feel the lightheaded sensation come rushing back. This has always been a scenario he dreaded for this exact reason, he knew he'd get stressed over it. He wanted to avoid it for as long as he could; but of course... fate decided to throw it at him now— when he's at his lowest.
Toya seemed to notice first; the way Akito was struggling to focus, the way he kept blinking, the way he could feel Akitos body heat rising even from a distance.
"W-we... we, uh..." Akito tries to speak, but it was useless. His speech was slurred, and even if he did answer, it's not like he'd be able to hear a response.
"Aki...to?" Toya hesitates with the nickname, afraid to say it. "Akito, relax... please?"
"What's wrong..?" Ena questions.
"I— I think it's happening again..." Toya answers. "This is what happened the other day, too."
Akito looks up with heavy breaths, grabbing onto Toya to stabilize himself. He can't see much, but he could just barely make out his fathers disappointed face from just behind Toya.
That's all it took.
"Akito?!"
"Shit," Ena rushes out of the room to find a doctor while Toya tried his best to push Akito back to lie back properly.
When the doctor arrives, he helps stabilize Akito and turns to the visitors. "How did this one happen?"
Everyone in the room glances at Shinei.
"...I see. Well, Sir... please try to refrain from stressing him out if possible. It could do some serious damage if not monitored."
The father nods and the doctor leaves once Akito was safe on the bed.
"Are you serious?" Ena stands up to the man. "Why would you do that? We told you what happened, and you go and— what— try to test it or something?"
"I was just curious."
"Curious or not, you shouldn't have asked like that! Are you happy now? You get to see what happens if he's stressed, congratulations!"
"I don't get why you're so upset, Ena."
"Because Akito could've died the other day, and all you seem to care about is who he's dating!" She yells. "Not a 'how are you' or 'are you feeling okay'— nothing! God, you— you're such a narcissist, you know that?!"
"...loud..." A quiet groan was heard from the bed, making Toya rush over to it.
"Aki? Are— are you okay?"
"...head hurts..."
"I know... just relax for a bit, okay?" Toya gently brushes the hair out of Akitos eyes that soon close.
"...'kay."
Once Toya was sure that Akito was properly resting, he asks the man to have a conversation in the hall.
Shinei agrees and the two leave the room, leaving Ena and their mother to watch over Akito for a moment.
"...sorry, Akito." Ena whispers. "I didn't think he'd do... that. But... I should've known something would happen, huh?" She sighs. "I'm sorry..."
Akito carefully opens his still sensitive eyes to look at his sister. "...why?"
"Why what?"
"...why do you care?"
Ena furrows her brows. "Because you're my little brother. I know i give you hell all the time, but... I do love you. And... if you're suffering like this, I'm gonna be here for you... y'know?"
"...yeah." The boys shuts his tired eyes. "...thanks."
Ena gently rubs his shoulder. "Anytime."
The door soon opens and Toya enters alone.
"...where is he?" Ena asks.
"I... asked him to leave." Toya sighs. "Aki, I'm sorry, but... I told him the truth. You can yell at me when you feel better, but... I just needed to."
He sees the lump that is Akito turn to face him from the bed, listening.
"I told him about us and what happened, he reprimanded me for... a few things, but... I don't think he'll be bringing it up again any time soon."
"What makes you say that?" Ena tilts her head.
"I... heh, i... Akito's going to be mad, but... I offered to help pay for his medical bills."
"What?! Ah— fuck—"
The group turns to see Akito sitting straight up, holding his head in regret.
"You— you bribed my dad?"
"...in a sense, yes. But... I did it so he'd see that I'm serious about this— about you."
"Tou' I know your family's rich, but come on..."
"Toya..." Akitos mother walks up to him. "You really don't have to do that. I can take care of it."
"No, I... I want to. I mean... I feel slightly responsible anyway for not doing anything to prevent this from happening in the first place."
"Tou—"
"I'm doing it, Akito."
Akito groans, but gives in. He's not in a state to argue anyway.
"Are... are you really sure?" The woman asks.
Toya nods. "Yes. Please let me help."
The woman and Ena glance at each other with worried expressions before sighing. "Alright... if... if you're really sure about this..."
"I am." Toya smiles. "It's the least i could do for him."
Akito quietly scoffs from his bed. "Man, 'the least' would be givin' me a hug or somethin', but 'ight..."
Without another word, Toya walks up to the bed, and gives Akito a small peck on the lips, leaving the ginger wide-eyed when he pulls back.
"Wh-what—"
All Toya does is smile down at him. "Better?"
Akito blinks in shock. "...y-yeah..?"
"Ooh~" Ena teases. "Look at you~ getting all romantic."
"Shut it." Akito hisses before hiding his face behind his hand.
For once, the air in the room felt light as quiet giggles filled it.
◇
Akito was in the hospital for another week before being discharged.
Toya and Ken both chipped in to help with the medical expenses, which Akitos mother is forever greatful for.
Akito tried to convince Ken not to, but his excuse was "it happened in my café under my watch, so I have to take some responsibility."
Akito found that excuse to be absolutely ridiculous, but accepted it nonetheless.
Two weeks later, after Akito swore up and down he was not going to therapy, Toya suggested something else— simple breathing exercises and ways to calm down when he feels himself getting overwhelmed. He hasn't had to use anything more than the breathing tricks yet, so there's no guarantee they actually work. They would all, honestly, like to keep it that way.
Reluctantly, Akito started telling his teammates when he felt strange or weak; they all responded with kindness and understanding, something that he still doesn't think he fully deserves, but gave in to each time.
He knows it's good for him.
He's passed out twice since being discharged, both times caused by him thinking back to that same event.
That was before Toya, being the genius he is, gave Akito said exercises to help with that.
At the moment, he's about to learn just how helpful they can be.
The group is once again back practicing at Kens café after hours, and Toya has already started picking up the signs of Akitos breakdown; watching him carefully just in case.
So far, Akito has been doing a good job at taking deep breaths and settling himself, but Toya can tell he won't be able to do it on his own much longer.
The girls have learned these tactics as well in case Toya isn't around; but if he is, they usually leave it to him— Akito prefers it that way.
During Akitos most recent turn singing, he messed up multiple notes, only upsetting him even more.
"Damn it..." he huffs, leaning against the wall once his turn was over.
Toyas turn.
He puts his all into his lyrics and quickly stands to Akitos side after making no mistakes.
"Aki, relax." He whispers.
"No, I— I fucked that part up—"
"It's fine, we're just practicing, mistakes are going to happen."
"Not fine—" Akito hisses in pain and shuts his eyes. "...fuck."
Toya gestures for the girls to lower the music, which they do immediately.
"Aki, calm down. You're going to collapse again if you don't."
"I know, I just—" Akito takes deep, forced breaths like he usually does but they just wouldn't work.
Why won't they work?
"I-I don't—" Akito begins to panic, "T-Tou', I— it's not working—"
Toya curses under his breath, he really hoped Akito wouldn't get to this point again, but he guesses it's still too early to wish for that.
"It's alright, just— just listen to me, okay? I want you to do exactly as i tell you. You can do that, right?"
Akito nods.
"Good, first... is your vision blurry?"
Akito shakes his head. "Not— not yet..."
"Great, I want you to tell me three things that you can see around us, okay?"
"U-uh..." Akitos eyes dart around, looking at everything around him. "T-table..." he looks down at his hand, "mic..." and back up at the café, "coffee..?"
"Good job," Toya smiles, "Now, three sounds you can hear, anything works. Close your eyes if you need to."
Akito closes his eyes and tries to focus on whatever he can hear. Outside, "cars..." inside, "music..." close to him, "...you."
"Perfect. One last thing, okay?" Toya backs up slightly. "Move three different parts of your body, as if you're stretching them out. Take deep breaths as you're doing it."
Akito looks down at his body before slowly moving his wrists in circles, making grabbing motions with his fingers, and stretching his neck to either side; taking deep breaths between each movement."
"There you go..." Toya closes the distance. "How do you feel?"
"...good." Akito felt... fine, actually. He was still a bit shaky, but he didn't feel as if he was going to pass out anymore.
"So, it worked?"
Akito slowly nods. "Thanks..."
Toya gives him a warm smile. "That's good. I'm proud of you."
Akito looks around to find the girls off to the side, looking at him with a mix of worry and relief. "...sorry."
"No, it's okay..!" Kohane responds immediately. "We were just trying not to distract you. Are... you alright now?"
The ginger nods. "Yeah, I... I'm good... now."
"Do you... still wanna practice?" An questions. She knows he'd feel bad if they stopped because of him, so she decided to see if it's what he actually wanted.
"Ah... maybe... a break would be nice..." Akito awkwardly chuckles. "Gotta calm down, y'know?"
The rest of the team give agreeing nods and they spend some time resting and getting their— mainly Akitos— mind off of things before going back and having a problem free end of practice.
Sure, it might take him a while to fully get over this, but at least he knows that maybe... sometimes asking for help is... well... helpful.
He just wishes he learned that sooner.