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*Our story begins on a seemingly peaceful day in the Amazing Digital Circus, we see Gangle and Zooble walking around the main area, talking to each other*
Zooble: So.. What do you think we should do for our wedding?
Gangle: I was thinking maybe something romantic, but also peaceful, maybe a nice quiet wedding with just our close friends there?
Zooble: Sounds good to me, maybe we could-
*Suddenly, their peace is interrupted by the sound of a distressed howl, Gangle shouts and jumps up in fright, she clings onto Zooble*
Zooble: What the hell?!
*They then hear a familiar voice shouting from afar*
Luseal: Jax! Get back here!!
Jax: Get away from me!! *He screams in terror*
*They suddenly see Jax dash into the area looking absolutely terrified, Luseal then jumps out at him from behind a pillar and wraps her legs around his neck, Jax shrieks in fright and starts trying to pry her off*
Jax: Get off me!!
*Gangle looks shocked, while Zooble just looks weirded out*
Zooble: …What the f*HONK* is going on?
Luseal: I’m just…trying to get him to brush his teeth! *She says in a strained voice*
Jax: You’ll never take me alive!
Luseal: Look, you have to stay healthy! *She shouts in exasperation*
*She reaches under her hair and pulls out a toothbrush*
Luseal: Besides! You wouldn't want Pomni to be repulsed by your dog breath!
Jax: Wha- I don't have dog breath!
Luseal: Jax, I sat next to you when you were sleeping on the couch, it smells worse than an actual dog's! Now open your mouth!
*She pins him to the ground and stuffs the toothbrush in his mouth, he coughs and sputters and toothpaste gets absolutely everywhere, Zooble and Gangle get splattered*
Gangle: Ew!
Zooble: Son of a b*WOOF*tch!
*Luseal then pulls mouthwash out from under her hair and pours it into Jax’s mouth, he spits it out and gags in disgust, his teeth surprisingly aren’t yellow for once now, Luseal catches her breath*
Luseal: Phew.. There, much better. Now that wasn’t so bad, was it?
*Jax gets up and huffs, his ears are hanging low and he looks displeased*
Jax: Yes. Yes, it was.
Luseal: I'm sorry Jaxie, but when it comes to your health, I'm not holding back.
Jax: Well, did you have to scrub my mouth like that?
Luseal: You didn’t exactly give me a choice, did you?
*Zooble and Gangle are now covered in toothpaste, the latter cringes and the former glares*
Zooble: Thanks for that, jacka*HEEHAW*.
Gangle: Not again!
Luseal: Oh! Sorry, Zuzu, sorry, Gangs. I’ll help you with that.
*She summons a water tendril and soaks them, it rinses them off, Gangle spits out some water*
Zooble: Thanks, I guess.
*Right then, Pomni, Ragatha, and Kinger come in*
Pomni: Hey there, Bunbun.
Jax: ‘Sup, Pompom? *His now-white teeth are visible*
*Pomni cocks her head*
Pomni: Is…that a glitch affecting your teeth’s color, or…
Luseal: Oh, don’t be silly, I just brushed them.
Jax: Brushed, nothing. You frickin’ scrubbed them like there was no tomorrow!
Ragatha: Thank you, Luseal, I was kinda afraid my nose would melt.
Kinger: In fact, you’re the only one with a nose!
Luseal: Uh..Kinger, I have a nose too.
Kinger: Oh, yeah.
Pomni: It’s…a bit weird to see you with white teeth, no offense.
Jax: I know, right? I’m gonna bite into something yellow the first chance I get.
*Caine and Bubble pop into the room*
Bubble: Hi-diddly-ho, neighbor-inos!
Caine: It is I!
*This scares the heck out of everyone except for Kinger, Gangle jumps into Zooble’s arms*
Kinger: Your name is I? I thought it was Caine.
Zooble: Oh, God, what now, Caine?
Caine: What time is it?!
Jax: Time for you to get a bell?
Caine: No, silly! It’s adventure time! Today, we’re gonna meet some ninja tortoises in the sewer!
Pomni: So…you’re just ripping off TMNT?
Caine: Wha- Don't be ridiculous! This is a perfectly original idea!
*Everyone glares at him, clearly not buying his words*
Luseal: Ok.. Let's have a vote. Would everyone rather do Caine's rip-off adventure or…
*She looks at Gangle and Zooble and she smiles at them*
Luseal: Go with Gangs and Zuzu’s wedding?
*Gangle looks touched by this, she raises her hand first, and everyone else follows suit, in Kinger’s case, he puts up both hands*
Bubble: I can’t vote, I don’t have any hands.
Kinger: My hands are in the air like I just don’t care!
*Luseal smiles at this, Caine on the other hand looks peeved*
Ragatha: I mean, you can’t argue with that, can you? It’s a fair vote.
Zooble: Yeah. Rules are rules, Paine.
*Pomni lets out a laugh-snort upon hearing this*
Gangle: And me and Taffy were really looking forward to this, you know.
Caine: Why, you…you…!
*And then he gets an idea and a grin comes to his face*
Caine: …Okay, fine! You two lovebirds will get just what you deserve.
*Zooble looks at him hesitantly*
Zooble: …What do you mean?
Caine: Just you wait and see! I’m not going to spoil the surprise!
*Zooble gives him the dirtiest glare*
Zooble: You son of a-
Gangle: Uh, Taffy, at least he’s letting us get married, we should take that over nothing.
Zooble: Yeah, you’re right.
Ragatha: That’s the spirit.
*Caine snaps his fingers and a portal appears*
Caine: Step right in!
*Gangle hugs Zooble’s arm*
Gangle: Finally…it’s time.
*They step into the portal first, Luseal squeals with delight and skips inside next, and the others follow suit; on the other side, there is a big room full of beautiful decorations such as fairy lights, flowers, and candles, everything looks all fancy*
*When Gangle and Zooble emerge, the former is wearing a white dress with ribbons and the latter is wearing a tuxedo, Gangle gasps in delight*
Gangle: Oh, this is…just gorgeous…
*Zooble sees Gangle’s new outfit and the horns on their head stick up straight*
Zooble: Holy crap…Not as much as you.
*Gangle giggles softly and blushes*
Gangle: I think you look great with or without the tux.
*At that moment, Luseal jumps out of the portal, she’s wearing a darker blue gown and her hair is in a rose bun, her eyes sparkle when she sees the place*
Luseal: Wow! This place looks absolutely magical! Just look at those fairy lights!
*Kinger comes in, wearing a tweed suit*
Kinger: Fairies? Where?
*Jax steps out of the portal next, he’s wearing a Marie Antoinette-style dress*
Jax: Hey, this doesn’t look half bad.
*Zooble sees him and lets out a big laugh-snort*
Jax: What?
*He looks down and sees his dress*
Jax: Holy what?! Not this crap again!!
Luseal: Hey, it’s not that bad, it’s stylish.
Jax: Couldn’t I have been put in something cooler?!
*Pomni steps out next, she’s wearing the exact same dress as him, Jax sees her and his ears curl into a heart, he starts to thump his foot and twitch his tail*
Jax: My God!! *He says in an enamored tone*
*Pomni chuckles at this*
Pomni: You know, you don’t look so bad yourself. And now, we’re twinsies.
*Jax catches himself and chuckles awkwardly*
Jax: Huh? Oh, yeah. Guess you’re right.
*Luseal snickers at this*
Luseal: You sure do like to show off how much you love her, don'tcha?
Jax: M-Maybe.
*Ragatha comes in last, she’s wearing a Cinderella-styled dress, she looks at her surroundings*
Ragatha: Looks like this wedding will go just as planned.
*And just then, they hear a voice*
Evil Ragatha: Ahahaha! Think again!
*They all turn around and see the Evil Big Tops*
Evil Pomni: ‘Sup, a*HEEHAW*holes?
Gangle: Wh-What’re they doing here?!
Luseal: Oh great, it's these g-
*She then sees Evil Jax and waves at him*
Luseal: Oh hi! *She says with a smile on her face*
Evil Jax: Hey! *He says as he waves back at her*
*Caine then pops up in front of them, everyone except for Bazooble yelps in fright, Evil Jax jumps into Evil Pomni’s arms*
Caine: Welcome to Matrimony Madness! Here’s your assignment! You gotta make sure the wedding is running smoothly while keeping the Evil Big Tops from ruining everything!
Zooble: I knew there was a catch! Thanks for nothing, you c*COCK-A-DOODLE-DOO*ck!
Kinger: But he’s not a chicken, he’s a…I don’t know.
Luseal: Don't worry, Zuzu, we'll make sure everything goes ok.
Evil Luseal: I'd like to see you try, a*PBBBBBBBT*hat!
*Jax growls at her, his eyes change into diamonds and his fur gets all shaggy, strangely, Evil Jax's eyes and fur change as well, much to his shock*
Evil Jax: Wh-What the?!
Jax: You again! You’re gonna get a taste of the werehare if you come close to Pompom or Lusy!
Evil Luseal: The what now? You’re just trying to scare me, aren’t you? It’s not working.
Jax: No, I’m not! I can prove i-
Caine: I wasn’t done explaining this yet! Ragatha, you’ll do the big speech!
*He hands her some papers*
Ragatha: So I’m the officiant? Oh, what an honor.
Caine: Luseal, Jax, you’ll make the cake!
*Luseal’s expression brightens up, Jax smiles a bit, his ears perk up, and his eyes and fur go back to normal*
Luseal: Ah sweet! We get to do some baking!
Jax: Now we’re talking.
*He turns to the Evil Big Tops and does the “I am watching you” gesture*
Bazooble: Ya wanna swap eyes with me?
Caine: As for you, Bazooble, you get to be the ring and bracelet bearer!
*He tosses them a pillow with a ring and a bracelet on it*
Bazooble: Is that something ya eat?
Zooble: Don’t you f*BOING*ing dare!
Caine: Kinger, you'll be the saxophone and organ player!
*He tosses him a saxophone*
Kinger: Been a while since I did that.
Ragatha: You’re a man of many talents, aren’t you?
Pomni: Hold on, don’t I have a role?
Caine: Not at all, my dear, you’re just along for the ride. See you all later!
Pomni: What?!
Luseal: Wait, that's not fair! She'd be left-
*Before, she can finish her sentence, Caine disappears*
Luseal: Out…
*Pomni scoffs and crosses her arms*
Pomni: F*HONK*ing Caine…
Luseal: I'm sorry Pomni..
*She looks at Jax, who has a death glare on his face*
Luseal: If you want to, you can help me and Jaxie make the cake.
Pomni: I’d be glad to.
Luseal: Great! The more the merrier! Is that ok with you, Jaxie?
*Jax smiles at Pomni*
Jax: Oh, that’s more than okay. It’s awesome.
*The two go off to the kitchen, Coach Dictatorer sees Ragatha reading her papers, she cocks an eyebrow*
Ragatha: Ugh. This barely even has anything to do with Zooble and Gangle. It’s just stroking Caine’s ego. I think I’ll make my own spin on this.
*She finds a pen and starts working on another version of it*
Coach Dictatorer: Evil Orbsman, I order you to replace her speech with this.
*He hands him different papers, Evil Orbsman salutes him and takes it*
Coach Dictatorer: Evil Ragatha, provide a distraction.
Evil Ragatha: Of course, hahaha! Ragatha, look! There’s a centipede on your back!
*Ragatha loses her grip on the papers and drops them to the floor*
Ragatha: WHAT?!
*She starts flailing around and practically clawing at her back*
Ragatha: GET IT OFF!! GET IT OFF GET IT OFF GET IT OFF GET IT OFF!!!
*As she continues to freak out, Evil Orbsman picks up the papers she just dropped and replaces them with the ones he’s got, he then slinks away*
*Gangle and Zooble see Ragatha flipping out and approach her*
Gangle: Ragatha! Wait! There’s nothing on you!
Ragatha: …There isn’t?
*She sighs in relief and then looks at her speech, her smile then fades*
Ragatha: “I’m a discount Raggedy Ann”? Wha…?
*Zooble hears Evil Ragatha laughing, they look up and see Evil Orbsman giving the real documents to Coach Dictatorer*
Evil Orbsman: Here you go, sir. *He says in a filtered voice*
Coach Dictatorer: Excellent! Now throw these in a fire, Evil Ragatha.
Evil Ragatha: It would be an honor! Ahahaha!
*Zooble growls in fury*
Zooble: Those f*BONK!*ing a*HEEHAW!*holes!
Ragatha: Oh, no! How could I let that happen?!
Gangle: Don’t worry, we’ll get them back for you.
*She and Zooble start to run towards Evil Ragatha*
Evil Ragatha: Catch me if you can! *She shouts as she tauntingly waves the papers at them*
*Zooble detaches their arm and throws it at Evil Ragatha, their hand then punches her in the face and she falls to the floor, ragdolling like mad*
Evil Ragatha: The pain!
*Gangle runs towards the deranged ragdoll and wraps her ribbon arms around her, Evil Ragatha squirms in her grip*
Evil Ragatha: Unhand me at once!
Gangle: No way! Nothing’s gonna ruin this wedding!
*She drags Evil Ragatha to the door and throws her out, she then lands in a dumpster*
Gangle: And stay out!
*She slams the door, Zooble is proud of her*
Zooble: You did great, Garnet.
*Gangle smiles at them*
Gangle: Thanks, Taffy.
*Ragatha walks towards the papers on the floor and picks them up, she sighs in relief*
Ragatha: Thank goodness we got these back, that could've ended in disaster.
Zooble: Tell me about it.. We better keep an eye on the others to make sure they don't try anything else.
Gangle: Agreed.
*They then start to walk back, we then cut back to the main area, we see Luseal walking towards Evil Jax, who's sitting at a table talking to Evil Pomni*
Evil Pomni: Hey there, b*WOOF*tch.
*Luseal gives her a weird look before turning to Evil Jax*
Luseal: Hey um.. EJ? Can I call you that?
Evil Jax: Yeah, that’s okay with me. What’s up?
Luseal: I uh.. I just want to know.. No matter what happens today, we're good, right? Cause uh.. Things might get messy today.
Evil Jax: How so?
Luseal: Well-
*She sees that he has fangs, which he doesn’t normally have*
Luseal: What in the…?
Evil Jax: What? What’s wrong?
Luseal: …N-Nothing.. Just be careful, I’ll see you later, bye.
*She then quickly dashes off, leaving Evil Jax confused*
Evil Jax: Bye..?
*Evil Pomni is now standing on her head for no reason*
Evil Pomni: What a f*HONK*ing weirdo, huh, Evil Bunbun?
Evil Jax: I guess, yeah.
*We then see Luseal running towards the kitchen, breathing heavily as she does so*
Luseal: Guys! You won't believe what I just s-
*As she runs into the kitchen, she sees Jax tearing open a bag of sugar with his teeth which have changed into fangs*
Luseal: Uh…
*Jax then turns towards her with the paper from the bag still in his mouth, him and Luseal awkwardly stare at each other for a bit*
Jax: What?
Luseal: N-Never mind, let’s do this.
*Jax and Pomni exchange confused looks and shrug at each other, Luseal then grabs a bowl and pours red velvet cake mix into it*
Luseal: Could you get some eggs and sugar?
*Pomni gets the eggs, while Jax gets the sugar, Luseal looks at the sugar bowl and licks her lips*
Luseal: Man, that looks good…
Jax: Lusy! Stay focused!
Luseal: Y-Yeah. Now we need some frosting and sprinkles.
*Jax gets a jar of sprinkles, while Pomni gets a bag of pink icing*
Pomni: I thought it’d be fitting since Zooble is pink.
*Luseal stares at it hungrily*
Luseal: It’s perfect…
*She squeezes out a bit of it and licks it off her hand*
Jax: Uh-uh-uh! We need to save this for the actual cake!
Luseal: Sorry Jaxie..
*She grabs the jar of sprinkles and tries to open it, but she can't seem to open the lid, she growls as she tries to take the cap off, but to no avail*
Luseal: Dang it!
*She then looks at Jax*
Luseal: Jaxie, can you open the sprinkle jar for me, please?
Jax: Sure.
*Luseal hands him the jar and he starts trying to open it, but he too has trouble getting the cap off, he growls in frustration as he does this, his ears then perk up as an idea pops into his head*
Jax: Hmm..
*He closes his eyes, suddenly, his right arm changes, claws grow from his fingertips, it’s fur becomes shaggier, and it becomes muscular, he looks down at his arm and smirks, he then turns the cap with his werehare arm and it finally comes off*
Jax: Yes!
*We then see Evil Luseal spying on them through the doorway, she cocks an eyebrow*
Evil Luseal: What the f*BAM*…?
*Back with Evil Jax, he’s still talking to Evil Pomni*
Evil Jax: To be honest, I don’t really want to sabotage the wedding, I just want to see how it goes.
*Evil Pomni stares at him in awe, the pompoms on her hat stick up as her eyes turn into hearts*
Evil Pomni: Holy sh*PBBT*! What a hunk!
Evil Jax: What?
*He looks down and sees his arm, which is now super muscular and he has claws, he yelps in fear and falls right out of his chair*
Evil Jax: What’s happening to me?!
*Evil Luseal hears him and comes running*
Evil Luseal: Evil Jaxie, what’s wrong?!
*Evil Jax shows her his arm*
Evil Jax: Look at my arm!!
Evil Pomni: What’s wrong with that? I think you look f*ZOOM*ing hot.
Evil Jax: This isn't hot! It's terrifying!
*Evil Luseal gets a nasty glare on her face, she turns back towards the kitchen, she clenches her fists as her hair starts to flare up*
Evil Luseal: …He did this…He'll pay for this! *She says to herself*
*She stomps towards the kitchen and finds Pomni using the mixer on the concoction, Evil Luseal glares at her*
Luseal: Hey Pomni, can you help me with the frosting please?
Pomni: Sure! I'll be right there!
*She leaves the bowl behind, Evil Luseal tiptoes towards it, she pulls a mushroom from the Everlast Woods adventure out of her hammerspace hair*
Evil Luseal: Soon, everyone’s gonna go out of their minds…
*She’s about to drop it into the concoction, when Jax turns around and sees her*
Jax: Hey! What’re you doing here?!
*Evil Luseal looks up and glares at him*
Evil Luseal: Avenging my brother you sick freak! Now he’s turning into some monster because of you!
Jax: What?!
Evil Luseal: I don't know what you did to him, but if you think I'm just gonna let that slide, you've got another thing coming, bunny boy!
Jax: That wasn’t my fault!
Evil Luseal: A likely story!
*She shoots fireballs out of her hands at him, he jumps out of the way, Luseal and Pomni immediately stop what they're doing and turn towards the fight at hand, their eyes go wide in shock*
Luseal and Pomni: Jax!
*Jax hides behind one of the counters, Evil Luseal growls in fury, by this point, her hair is a roaring flame*
Evil Luseal: Where are you, you filthy pest?! I'm gonna rip you limb from limb and then burn your remains into dust!
*Jax looks at his hands and unsheathes his claws, he then sneakily runs past Evil Luseal and scratches her in the back, she shouts in pain as this happens*
Evil Luseal: You stupid-!!
*She rubs her hands together and a flaming beam shoots out of her palms, she ends up missing Jax and gets Pomni instead, causing her to shriek in agony*
Jax: Pompom!!
*Luseal shrieks in fright and quickly douses Pomni with a water tendril, the latter pants heavily*
Luseal: Are you okay?
Pomni: I’ve been better.
*Evil Luseal chuckles at this*
Evil Luseal: Not exactly my preferred target, but it'll have to-
*Suddenly, Evil Luseal gets cut off when a hand grabs her by her throat, she chokingly gasps in shock*
Evil Luseal: Wh-What the..?!
*Jax’s fur begins to get shaggier and his pupils turn into diamonds, he growls at Evil Luseal with a look of animalistic rage in his eyes*
Jax: I warned you not to mess around! Now you’re gonna get it!!
*He then winces and groans as his body begins to cramp up, his teeth get sharper, his arms get even more muscular, as do his legs, which become more wolf-like and grow claws, Evil Luseal looks terrified*
Evil Luseal: Oh, sh*AWOOGA*!
Pomni: Get her, Bunbun!
Luseal: Oh geez, she's dead..!
*Jax’s muscle mass increases and he tears through his dress, he howls to the sky and then holds Evil Luseal up to his face, growling*
Evil Luseal: Uh…nice rabbit…
*He throws her down to the floor, Evil Luseal shouts in pain from the impact, Luseal and Pomni look at each other*
Luseal: Uh.. Should we help, or do you think he's got this?
Pomni: I think he’s got this. *She says with a smirk on her face*
*Jax then kicks Evil Luseal into a shelf with his powerful legs, a bunch of items such as pots and pans fall on her, stars and Jax heads float over her head*
*Back with Evil Jax, he’s still talking to Evil Pomni*
Evil Jax: I wonder what Evil Lusy’s doing in th-
*And then he starts to feel a leg cramp, he yelps*
Evil Pomni: What? What’s going on?
Evil Jax: I don’t know, I just- GAH!
*He looks at both of his legs, they’re getting bulkier and digitigrade in nature, he gasps*
Evil Jax: Oh my God…!
*He then falls out of his chair when the soreness gets to be too much, he clutches his mouth as his teeth turn into fangs and he squeezes his eyes shut as tears of pain and fear leak out of them*
Evil Pomni: Holy f*BOOM*!
*She approaches him and takes his hand, only for his claws to sink into hers, she winces in pain, but bears with it for his sake*
Evil Jax: Why is this happening?! *He says as he wails*
Evil Pomni: Breathe through it, man! You got this!
*He opens his eyes, revealing that his pupils are diamond-shaped, he screams as his torso gets more muscular and he becomes much taller and his tail becomes more wolf-like, she stares at him in amazement, her eyes turn into hearts, and her jaw hits the ground at how handsome she thinks he is*
Evil Pomni: Hubba-hubba…
*Evil Jax lets go of her and rises to his feet, he howls at the heavens and pants, Evil Pomni then faints out of the sheer amount of love in her heart, she has a flustered smile on her face and her face is bright red*
*Evil Jax looks around frantically*
Evil Jax: Does anybody have a mirror?! *He says in a much deeper voice*
*Bazooble turns to him and points to a punch bowl*
Bazooble: Duh, does this count?
*Evil Jax sees his reflection in the surface of the liquid and screams in horror, he knocks the punch bowl to the floor and huddles in the corner, whining like a sad puppy and curling up in a fetal position*
Evil Jax: No, no…!
Bazooble: Do you not like punch or something?
*Back in the kitchen, Evil Luseal snarls in fury, an aura of fire emanates from her as she stares at Jax with a look of pure rage*
Evil Luseal: That's it!! I've had it with you!! You think you're so scary! Don't make me laugh!
*She clenches her fists*
Evil Luseal: You ain't got the guts! You're a pathetic weakling..!
*The aura around her changes into a blazing inferno*
Evil Luseal: YOU AIN'T NOTHING!!!
*She screams in fury as she launches herself at Jax, only for Luseal to summon a water tendril and splash her with it, Evil Luseal shrieks in pain, the fire around her disappears, and her hair flops down limply*
Jax: Get her, Pompom!
*Pomni looks around for something to use, she finds some stretchy taffy lying on the table, she wraps it all around Evil Luseal, she snaps her teeth at Pomni in an attempt to bite her, but Pomni quickly pulls her hand back*
Pomni: Oh no you don’t!
*Evil Luseal is now tied up, she tries to squirm out of her restraints, but Pomni drags her to a nearby closet and slams it shut, she takes a chair and puts it against the door to keep her from breaking out*
Pomni: Phew! That should keep her out of our hair.
Luseal: Man…It's weird to think that she's another version of me..
Jax: Yeah. She’s everything I don’t want you to be.
Luseal: And I will never be like her.
*Jax smiles at her*
Pomni: And I gotta say, Bunbun, you really let her have it! That was totally cool!
Jax: Well, we wouldn’t have won without your finishing touch, or Lusy’s distraction. By the way, Lusy, thanks for saving me from her.
Luseal: No problem, Jaxie. Anyway, it’s time to get this cake in the oven.
*She places it in there and dusts her hands off, just then, she hears Evil Jax crying in the distance and she becomes concerned*
Luseal: Could you two keep an eye on the cake? I gotta check on EJ.
Jax: Yeah, sure. I don’t really want to see him anyway.
Luseal: Great! I'll be right back.
*She then dashes out of the kitchen and goes into the main area, she takes a second to catch her breath*
Luseal: Man, I guess that fight took more out of me than I thought..
*She sees Evil Pomni lying on the floor with a huge smile on her face and looks confused, she then looks up and sees Evil Jax curled up in a ball, gently crying, she gasps softly*
Luseal: Could it be…?
*She carefully walks towards him*
Luseal: EJ..?
*Evil Jax turns away from her*
Evil Jax: Don’t look at me, I’m hideous. *He says in a shaky voice*
Luseal: I knew it! *She thinks to herself*
*She gives him a look of concern*
Luseal: What? That’s not true.
*Evil Jax puts his face in his hands and whines*
Evil Jax: I don’t even know why this happened..!
*Luseal sits next to him*
Luseal: Well…I think I might. You see, Jaxie’s got a glitch that lets him become a werehare. Since you’re his counterpart, I'm assuming you were affected by it too.
Evil Jax: Wh-What if I’m stuck this way forever?
Luseal: Oh, you won’t be. Jaxie learned to control it and now he can change at will, and I’m sure you’ll learn to control it too.
Evil Jax: I-I hope so.
*Evil Pomni is starting to wake up, she sees Evil Jax and her eyes widen in glee*
Evil Pomni: Oh, f*HONK* yeah, there’s my man!
Luseal: Besides, I think you look cool as a werehare anyway.
Evil Pomni: Cool, nothing! He’s drop-dead gorgeous!
*She wraps her arms around Evil Jax and rubs her face in his fur*
Evil Pomni: So! F*ZOOM*ing! Fluffy!!
Evil Jax: You really think so?
Evil Pomni: I ain’t bullsh*PBBT*ing you, Evil Bunbun! This is just a bonus!
*Evil Jax chuckles and smiles a bit*
Evil Jax: Thanks, Evil Pompom. And thank you too, Lusy.
Luseal: Anytime, EJ.
*Coach Dictatorer clenches his fists in frustration*
Coach Dictatorer: God f*SPROING*ing d*BOING* it! My soldiers are dropping like flies! Well, besides Bazooble, Evil Jax, and Evil Pomni, but I can’t trust the first two to do anything cruel and the last one is too busy gushing over her boyfriend to do anything useful! Looks like I’ll have to take matters into my own floating hands!
*He notices Kinger’s saxophone lying on a table and he gets an idea, he takes out some gum and chews it despite his lack of a mouth, Evil Orbsman looks at him weird*
Coach Dictatorer: What? You don’t have one either. *He says in a muffled voice*
*He then spits the chewed-up gum into his hand, Evil Orbsman cringes in disgust*
Evil Orbsman: That’s…kind of icky, to be honest. *He says in a distorted voice*
Coach Dictatorer: The ends justify the means, you know. Don’t question my plans!
*He then sneaks over to the table and sticks the gum into the saxophone, he sneaks off and then Kinger comes back*
Kinger: Time to practice!
*He starts to play the saxophone, and bubbles come out of it, when they pop, music comes out*
Kinger: Well, this is a bit different, but I like it!
*Coach Dictatorer slaps his forehead*
Coach Dictatorer: Curses! Foiled again! I’m going to have to find some other way to ruin the occasion!
*He then sees Gangle and Zooble talking to each other and giggling, he glares at them, he then notices a bottle of stupid sauce sitting on the table next to him, he picks it up and aims it at them*
Coach Dictatorer: Freeze!
*The lovers turn around to face him, he starts to open fire with it, but then Zooble opens up their umbrella arm to shield themselves and Gangle*
Zooble: Nice try, dipsh*PBBT*, but nothing’s gonna ruin our wedding!
*They then knock the bottle out of his hand with the same umbrella arm and then squirt him with it instead, he gets a dazed look in his eyes*
Coach Dictatorer: Uh-oh, spaghettios…
Zooble: Now get the f*BANG* out of here.
*They drag Coach Dictatorer by the collar and kick him out, he lands in the dumpster right on top of Evil Ragatha*
Evil Ragatha: Get off of me, you buffoon!
Coach Dictatorer: I’m not a baboon, I’m a chest piece… *He says in a slurred voice*
*Zooble closes the door*
Zooble: Okay, did we get rid of all of those schmucks?
Ragatha: I think so. I don’t see any more of them, besides Bazooble and Evil Jax.
*Unbeknownst to them, however, Evil Orbsman is hiding in the back row and spying on them, he’s waiting for a good chance to strike*
Zooble: About time. Now we can get this started.
*Gangle looks at Zooble and rests her head on their shoulder*
Gangle: It sure was a long time coming.
*And right then, Jax and Pomni come out with the red velvet cake, it’s got pink icing and sprinkles on the top, Jax is now his regular self again, Luseal’s eyes sparkle when she sees it and she squeals in delight*
Luseal: Oh, it’s even better now that it’s done!
Pomni: I don’t bake that often, but it’s pretty fun with you guys. Maybe we should do it more often.
Jax: Good idea, Pompom.
*He sees a bowl of macaroni and cheese in the table that’s full of food, he stuffs it into his mouth with his bare hands*
Ragatha: Jax! You’re supposed to wait until it’s time to eat! And besides, that’s gross!
*Jax shrugs and smiles, his teeth are yellow again*
Pomni: Eh. I’m too used to him having yellow teeth.
Ragatha: Okay, everyone, get to your places!
*Everyone takes their seats, Evil Jax then bursts into tears and waterfalls gush out of his eyes, Evil Pomni shields herself with an umbrella and pats him on the back*
Evil Pomni: Let it all out, Evil Bunbun.
*Kinger rushes to the organ and starts playing “All I Want for Christmas is You”, everyone looks at him weird, while Zooble gives him a glare of disapproval*
Zooble: …Kinger, it is the beginning of February.
*Kinger then clears his throat awkwardly and starts to play “Here Comes the Bride”, the lights get a bit dimmer, and with that, Ragatha goes down the aisle first with her papers in hand and Zooble goes down next*
*Luseal cuddles up to Jax*
Luseal: Oh, isn’t this sweet?
Jax: Yeah, guess so.
*We then see Gangle walking down the aisle with a bouquet in her hands, Zooble looks at her with a smitten look on their face, and then Bazooble comes in, carrying the pillow with the ring and the bracelet*
Evil Orbsman: Now’s my chance! *He thinks to himself*
*He sneaks down the aisle, Jax’s ears perk up and he notices him*
Jax: Huh? I thought we got rid of him!
*Evil Orbsman lies down in front of Bazooble, the latter trips and drops the ring and the bracelet into a vent in the floor, everyone gasps in horror and Kinger stops playing the organ*
Bazooble: Oops.
Gangle: No!!
Zooble: Son of a b*WOOF*tch! There’s still a godd*BUZZ*mn straggler!
*They turn to Evil Orbsman, who looks rather smug*
Zooble: Why, you-!
*But before they can even do anything, Evil Jax stands up and snarls, much to Luseal and Jax’s surprise, and Evil Pomni’s amazement*
Evil Jax: What the F*BOING* is wrong with you?!
*Everyone gasps at the fact that someone as sweet as him is actually swearing, Evil Pomni is proud of him*
Evil Jax: How could you ruin the mood like that?! Can’t you see they’re happy together?!
*Evil Orbsman’s eyes widen upon seeing his new werehare form*
Evil Pomni: Ha, give it to him straight!
Jax: Uh..Since when was he-
Luseal: Apparently your glitch also affected him. *She whispers to him*
Evil Jax: What pleasure do you get out of bringing people down to get yourself up?!
Evil Orbsman: Um…uh…
Evil Jax: You know what?! I’ll bring you up!
*He punches Evil Orbsman so hard that it sends him flying and he smashes right through the roof, leaving an Evil Orbsman-shaped outline in his wake*
Luseal: I’ve never seen him so mad..
Jax: Me either. I think I underestimated him..
*Evil Jax sits back down and sighs*
Evil Jax: Sorry I lost my temper there.
Evil Pomni: Are you f*BONK*ing kidding?! You were great!
*Gangle is still distraught*
Gangle: No, no, no! How’re we gonna get those back?! We were so close!!
Zooble: Hey, Garnet, don’t forget about what I can do.
*They remove their arm and reach into the vent, they pull out the ring and the bracelet, Gangle sighs in relief*
Gangle: Oh, thank God.
Ragatha: Okay, that really is the last of them. Moving on.
*Ragatha clears her throat, Kinger resumes playing the organ*
Ragatha: Digitally beloved, we are gathered here today to join Zooble and Gangle in holy matrimony.
*Gangle begins to tear up, and to their surprise, so does Zooble*
Gangle: Are you…?
Zooble: Nah. I got some dust in my eye from the vent. *They say in a shaking voice*
Ragatha: They’ve been in the circus for so long, and despite all the rough adventures and self-doubt, they’ve helped each other heal. Now Gangle isn’t ashamed of her tragedy mask, and Zooble has come to accept their new body.
*Luseal tears up at this*
Luseal: Oh geez.. It's so beautiful..
*Kinger is tearing up too, but it’s not out of joy, he sees Queenie in Gangle’s place and himself in Zooble’s place*
Kinger: Oh…Firefly… *He says in a shaking voice*
*He begins to sob quietly, Luseal notices this and gets up*
Pomni: Where are you going?
Luseal: I’ll be right with you. Just give me a sec.
*She approaches Kinger, who has his face in his hands*
Luseal: What’s the matter?
Kinger: I…I miss my Firefly. My Queenie. *He says through his sobbing*
*Luseal looks saddened by this, she gives him a gentle hug*
Luseal: I know how it feels to lose someone close to you… But I know that she's still with you, even if you can't see her..
Kinger: That’s why I collect insects, so I feel close to her, and it works.
Luseal: I'm sure she'd be so proud of how far you've come..you’re still strong on the inside. You’ve comforted us in the past, despite everything, so I’m just gonna return the favor now.
*He hugs her back*
Kinger: Thank you, Luseal. Thank you.
Luseal: Anytime.
Ragatha: Whether or not they ever manage to escape, they feel better knowing they’ve got each other.
*Jax looks at Pomni next to him*
Jax: Hey, is it okay if…
*Pomni takes his hand*
Pomni: Sure, Bunbun.
Ragatha: If anyone objects to this marriage, speak now, or forever hold your peace.
*There is only silence, Ragatha then looks at Jax*
Ragatha: Wait…you’re not objecting?
Jax: Heck no, I’m not gonna stoop that low.
*Zooble gives him a stern look*
Zooble: You better not.
Ragatha: Well, anyway, Zooble, do you take Gangle to be your digitally wedded wife?
*Zooble wipes a tear from their eye*
Zooble: I do.
Ragatha: And, Gangle, do you take Zooble to be your digitally wedded spouse?
*Gangle sobs a bit*
Gangle: I do!
Ragatha: Then by the power vested in me, I hereby pronounce you spouse and wife.
*Zooble slips on their ring and Gangle slips on her bracelet*
Ragatha: You may kiss the bride.
*Zooble and Gangle kiss, everyone cheers*
Luseal: Yes! Finally! They did it! They're married!
Jax: ‘Bout time.
*Gangle then throws her bouquet into the air, Ragatha tries to catch it, but Pomni ends up catching it instead*
Pomni: Yes!
*She then winks at Jax, he blushes and chuckles, Ragatha looks a bit disappointed that she didn’t get it, but she smiles for her friend anyway*
Ragatha: Nice job, Pomni.
*Kinger then wipes his eyes and starts playing the saxophone, bubbles float out of it and upbeat music plays when they pop, some of them make a beeline for the cake, Jax sprouts his claws and slices it with them*
Zooble: Kinda unorthodox, but it works, I guess.
*They all start to eat the cake, Luseal squeals with joy*
Luseal: Aw, man! It’s just as good as it looks!
Gangle: I love that it reflects our colors. It’s really clever.
Zooble: Luse, Pomni, thanks for your help.
*Zooble is clearly reluctant to thank Jax*
Zooble: And…thank you too.
Jax: You’re welcome.
Luseal: It was quite a hassle getting the cake done, but if anything, that just makes it taste better.
Ragatha: I think that might be the first time I’ve ever seen you cry, Zooble.
Zooble: Oh, don’t be ridiculous, it was dust.
Gangle: Aw, it’s okay to cry, Taffy. I do it all the time, you know.
*Luseal gets up*
Luseal: Now who wants to hit the dance floor?
Evil Pomni: F*ZIP* yeah!
*She takes Evil Jax by the hand and pulls him there, they start doing the tango, or they try to at least due to their differences in height*
*Gangle and Zooble start waltzing, Jax and Pomni do the foxtrot, Ragatha is the only one without a dance partner, she hangs back and sighs forlornly, Luseal notices this and approaches her*
Luseal: Hey, Ragatha? Wanna dance with me instead?
*Ragatha brightens up*
Ragatha: Don’t mind if I do.
*Luseal takes her by the hand and leads her to the dance floor, they both dance together for quite some time, until Caine suddenly appears with Bubble*
Caine: Hey!
*Everyone screams, Evil Jax jumps into Evil Pomni’s arms, only to knock her over and crush her*
Evil Pomni: Get the f*BOOM* off!
*Evil Jax gets up*
Evil Jax: Sorry, sorry! Force of habit.
Caine: Party’s over, my train tracks!
Bubble: I like trains!
*He yanks the saxophone out of Kinger’s hands and throws it over his shoulder*
Luseal: Oh come on! Things were just starting to get really good!
*Caine snaps his fingers and a portal appears*
Caine: There’s only so much fun one can have at these gatherings.
*Luseal scoffs, only for Evil Jax to tap her on the shoulder*
Evil Jax: Thanks for the support you gave me, by the way.
*Luseal’s expression softens and she smiles at him*
Luseal: No problem, EJ.
*She quickly hugs him before stepping into the portal, the others go in after her, on the other side, they all go back to their regular designs*
Caine: I’m sure everyone loved the speech I wrote, it’s all about how I’ve made your lives so much better!
Ragatha: Yeah…sure they did.
*She looks back at the others and winks*
Caine: Yay! Everybody loves me after all! See you soon!
*He and Bubble disappear*
Zooble: Just keep telling yourself that.
Pomni: That actually went pretty well.
Luseal: Hey, Zooble? Gangle? Sorry it wasn’t the peaceful and quiet wedding you wanted.
Zooble: No need to apologize, it was one of the best outings I’ve ever been on.
Gangle: And besides, I’m just glad I got married to my Taffy. You know what? I think I’m gonna wear this bracelet all the time from now on.
Zooble: Same here, with this ring.
*The two spouses then walk off together, holding hands*
Luseal: Aww…you know, Jaxie, they remind me of you and Pomni.
Jax: Aw, c’mon, we’re not nearly as sappy as them.
Pomni: Though…is being sappy really a bad thing?
*Jax looks a bit sheepish*
Jax: Well, when you put it that way, maybe not.
Kinger: It’s never bad to be sappy! I love tree sap on pancakes!
*Everybody laughs at his general goofiness, and everything’s peaceful in the Amazing Digital Circus once more*
(The end)