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”Tighnari.”
A small voice had approached him, the Forest watcher turning around to glance down at the little Dendro Archon standing before him. “H-Hello Lesser Lord Kusanali? Is there anything that you need?”
Nahida, or better known as the Lesser Lord Kusanali had finally been able to freely roam around Sumeru after she had been freed from her 500-year long confinement in the Sanctuary of Surasthana. After her release, she had been often seen walking around Sumeru City and other various locations around the area.
The Archon looked around for a moment, Gandhara Ville was filled with people within every corner. She frowned before turning back to look up at the young man. “Let’s find a quiet place to discuss this shall we. There are too many people here.”
Tighnari obliged, following the young girl as they made their way behind a boulder, the sound of the river rushing through his head.
”What is it that you would like to speak about Lesser Lord Kusanali? Collei is out on her patrol right now and I don’t want to leave my post for too long just in case. Cyno is busy with his own personal matters and you know how I am with Collei.”
Nahida giggled. “Always so caring and diligent of others, that’s the Forest Watcher for you! Don’t worry, rest assured that I won’t keep you for long. But the reason why I asked you to come here to speak to me in private was because I need to ask you for a favor.”
Tighnari’s ears seemed to perk up. A favor from the Dendro Archon? This must be important.
”Of course, I’m always willing to help.”
”I wouldn’t expect anything less from you. Well, two weeks ago the Akademiya received a “leave-of-absence” letter from Hat Guy in the mail, he stated that he would be taking two weeks off from attending classes.”
So Hat Guy was ditching his classes… a little absurd, that guy always had good grades. He used to write academic papers for fun, what happened now?
”It has been nearly a month now since he last showed up, and he has not given any further notice or responded to any of the letters the Akademiya has sent to him. If this persists, he may be resigned from the Akademiya itself.” Nahida’s tone was serious, concern riddled within her tone as Tighnari frowned.
”That is a cause of concern, but have Durin or Albedo checked up on him? I’m sure that they could report back to the Akademiya about his whereabouts and status.”
Nahida shook her head. “Durin told me that he had chosen to live in Mondstadt with Albedo, only visiting every month and Albedo doesn’t visit Sumeru unless it’s for a research paper or for vacation..”
Tighnari’s ears drooped a little. “That’s just sad, you mean that he’s all alone in his house? He doesn’t seem like the guy to be casually socializing with others, I mean, when Sethos tried to befriend him, he barely had anything to say.”
Nahida’s face remained gravely serious. “I am worried that something may have happened to him. I have already sent out a letter to the Knights of Favonius in Mondstadt, perhaps Durin and Albedo may like to know of Hat Guy’s status.”
Tighnari thought for a moment. “I can go check up on Hat Guy if you would like? I know the city can be hard on my ears, but if I wear earplugs I should be alright. I just need the address.”
Nahida’s playful expression returned back to her face. “That’s wonderful, I knew I could always rely on you. Here, this is Hat Guy’s residency and his spare key.”
_________
Standing in front of Hat Guy’s abode the next day was one of the most daunting things Tighnari had ever done in his lifetime. Despite wearing the earplugs he bought from Dori a week ago, he could still hear everything going on around him. He almost worried that she had scammed him.
After knocking on Hat Guy’s door a few dozen times, the young man decided that he would just invite himself inside, apologizing under his breath as he stepped inside his house.
It was a fairly simple abode with little decoration, albeit the ones that were there were thanks to Durin and Albedo.
Shoes sat neatly beside the door and there was an eerie stillness lingering in the house. Tighnari’s ears twitched, trying to pick up any sound that would be Hat Guy’s. He had taken out the earplugs hoping that he would be able to hear more.
His biggest concern was that he had ran away from Sumeru or worse, had died. But he didn’t smell anything out of the ordinary or too strange so maybe hope was still there.
He walked towards the back of the hallway, the floorboards creaking with every step. His ears twitching and turning, trying to detect even the slightest of sound before he heard something shuffle in the room at the end of the hallway.
Tighnari knocked on the open door twice before entering, “coming in—“
Almost immediately he was met with the sight of a nearly corpse-like body on the bed, the young raven-haired boy barely moving, barely breathing.
Hat Guy wasn’t wearing his hat and his clothes were traditional Inazuman-Style Pajamas. He did not rouse when the Forest Watcher had called his name.
Tighnari immediately ran up to him, he had only been gone for about a month, how in the world did it get to this point? When did it get this bad?
”Hat Guy? Hat guy please wake up.” Tighnari muttered, shaking the puppet until he seemed to rouse. The boy rolling over as he weakly glanced up at the young man.
”Mm.. what?” His voice was hoarse from the lack of use, his regular cunning and harsh edge completely gone as Tighnari realized just how bad his state was.
”Hat guy, what happened in the last month? Is everything alright, tell me what’s going on?”
Wanderer slowly sat up, his frame smaller than usual and his face a shade paler than previous times Tighnari had seen him.
”Hat Guy. I need you to answer me, please. You’re not in any trouble with the Akademiya or anything, but please talk to me. Have you even been taking care of yourself at all?”
The Raven-haired male couldn’t face him, his gaze droning towards ceiling as he collapsed onto his bed. It was visibly apparent that he no longer had enough energy to do anything as the Forest Watcher panicked.
”Stay here Hat Guy, I’m going to make something for you. You just stay put, don’t push yourself if you don’t have the energy to go.” Tighnari said, heading down to the kitchen to make a half-assed sandwich for the Puppet to eat.
How did it even end up like this?
Did Durin and Albedo know of his condition? Nahida said that she would send back a letter to the Knights of Favonious to let the two know of Hat Guy’s Condition. Durin could get to Sumeru within 3 hours, but for Albedo it would take him a day and a half to arrive. The Forest Watcher hoped that they would come back soon.
How did he deteriorate that quickly over such a short amount of time?
Enough of those thoughts, the young man had someone to take care of. He walked back to Hat Guy’s room with the food, seeing that he had sat up again, glancing at the window across from him as he didn’t seem to react to the Forest Watcher coming in.
”Hat Guy, I made you a sandwich, with your favorite, Rukkashava mushrooms. Can you look at me?”
The boy slowly turned his head, his eyes dead and his face completely emotionless, slowly obligating as he ate the sandwich. Tighnari quietly observed him, seeing just how similar he was to Collei when he had found her in her own abode having a similar episode.
What did he do with her back then? Right, he remembered that he had cooked for her and brought her back to his house to live with him and Cyno for a while. During that time, Nilou would often come over to accompany her. Sometimes if Collei’s mental state was bad enough, Nilou would help bathe her and take care of her if Cyno and Tighnari were not available, or if she did not want them too.
Despite being one of her many closest friends, Collei always seemed to feel a little uncomfortable or even nervous around the two young men. Such past traumatic experiences had scarred her terribly.
But Collei had gotten better within a matter of time and care and she had returned to her regular duties.
He considered bringing Hat Guy back to his and Cyno’s shared home that night. The poor boy’s state too pitiful to ignore as he looked away, but ultimately decided that staying with Hat Guy until he recovered or someone else came back along would be the best situation for him now.
Tighnari stayed with the boy for the rest of the day, talking to him about everyday things and mundane topics even if he didn’t say anything back.
When night came around, he had fed the boy another sandwich and pulled him to brush his teeth, to which he had complained about.
He decided to take the couch that evening, drifting off into a dreamless sleep as he noted that he would have to alert Collei and Cyno about his new predicament.
Tighnari awoke the next morning to the sight of someone new sitting before him, adorned in a fancy outfit, dragon-like horns, and purple hair.
So this had been Durin hadn’t it. He had seen him around a few times but never really got the chance to speak to him before.
”Ah- Ah! You’re awake. Who are you? My name is Durin, I’m Hat Guy’s best friend.” Durin nervously stated, his eyes slowly droning ear-wards as the young man smiled at him.
”Hello, pleased to meet you. My name is Tighnari, I’m one of the Forest Rangers in Avidya Forest. Although I do live in Gandhara Ville instead.” The young man couldn’t help but feel that his name seemed a little bit familiar…
”I assume that you’re here to see Hat Guy as well? I flew here as soon as I got the letter, Albedo couldn’t come though. He said that he was busy mentoring Sucrose with a project.” Durin said, his eyes still fixated on Tighnari’s ears.
”I am, in fact I was called down by the Dendro Archon herself to come check in on Hat Guy. Apparently from what I can remember, Hat Guy applied for leave at the Akademiya for two weeks, but it’s been over a month since he has been in attendance.” The young man explained, thinking back to what happened last night.
”I came around last night, I ended up finding him in pretty poor shape. He seemed to be extremely weak and lacked any ounce of strength. Sitting up took a lot out of him and he was quite unresponsive when I tried talking to him. Maybe it was because we aren’t quite acquainted yet, but something just didn’t feel right.”
Durin was listening. “Hat guy… I don’t even know what happened during that month. I was totally back in Mondstadt, but maybe staying in Sumeru should’ve been the right decision.”
”Don’t blame yourself Durin, nobody couldve predicted what happened and right now we need to try and get Hat Guy back onto his feet, or at the very least get the situation at the Akademiya solved.” Tighnari stated, his ears twitching as Durin’s gaze kept drifting ear-wards.
”At the very least right now, we should try and get him to a bath or bring him out of his room. We don’t have to take him outside, but we should bring him to the dining room.” Tighnari said, getting up from his seat as he motioned for the Young dragon to follow.
Durin couldn’t help but admit that there had been a strange atmosphere in the household, which had been super odd since Hat Guy had been nowhere to be seen.
As he entered Hat Guy’s room, he had seen the boy lying on the bed and ran up to him with urgency. He shook the puppet until he roused.
”Ugh… Durin? Since when did you get here?” Tighnari noted that the boy seemed to have more energy and strength today. This was good progress, but his recovery was very stagnant and if this continued on for a few more days, he would bring him back to Gandhara Ville for further treatment.
Durin embraced the boy in a tight hug, “I heard about what happened, It’s a terrible shame I wasn’t able to be there with you. Just what’s going on here Hat Guy? I thought you said you were going to be fine studying here on your own?”
Wanderer pushed the Dragon away, his eyes dull and his frame smaller than usual. “I’m fine Durin, there was no need to rush all the way over here to Sumeru and trouble yourself for no damn reason.”
”Trouble me? Hat Guy, you’re my friend and I care about you. You took care of me even before I became a human so it’s only right for me to repay the favor no matter what. And when I received that letter from Lisa, I rushed over here as quickly as I could.”
Hat Guy didn’t utter a word, but he glanced over at Tighnari as his scowl deepened.
”Maybe we should run you a nice bath, maybe that can help you take your mind off of things. They can help metaphorically “wash off” bad memories. Let me go get the bath running. Additionally, Sumeru City sell some nice-smelling Shampoos and Conditioners, they are made with the extracts of fruit local to only Sumeru.” Tighnari chimed in, Durin agreeing as he pulled Wanderer up onto his feet, seeing just how much smaller he had gotten.
Durin frowned, making a face close-adjacent to crying as the Raven-haired male immediately noticed. “If you want to say something, just say it. I’m not stopping you.”
”Hat Guy… did you ever plan on telling me..?”
Wanderer felt like he had been shot in the heart, he didn’t dare utter a word but he gazed at the ground with tears brimming in his eyes.
He considered Durin to be a friend, but also he didn’t want to confide in him with all his secrets. Telling others about personal matters was a one-way ticket to getting it used against you, he knew that well back when he had been part of the Fatui.
He had been close to Tartaglia in the past, but one time had tried, he really tried to open up to him.
”I wish I had a heart.”
Something he had meant both physically and metaphorically. All his life, he had just felt hollow, empty, like a puppet without its strings.
”You do though? Do you not?”
”I’m not a mortal unlike you.”
”But you do though? When you visited my household, you spent time with Teucer and you even played a fun game of hide and seek with him. I think that’s having a heart.”
Scaramouche’s gaze was piercing and harsh, Tartaglia watching in confusion as his cruel gaze brimmed with tears and then dripped down his cheek. His anger turning into sadness as the lump in his throat grew and grew. Childe had freaked out and panicked, rushing over to try and comfort the puppet.
”You don’t get it. You don’t get it at all…”
All he remembered was rushing out of Tartaglia’s room in a huff, shoving some Fatui Agents harshly aside as he locked himself in his own room.
”Ah— Hat Guy, Durin. The bath is ready, if you would unrobe yourself. I promise I will turn my back and not look.” Tighnari called out, Hat Guy didn’t budge.
”I can help you unrobe Hat Guy. Just stay still.” Durin chirped, assisting his friend in taking his clothes off as Wanderer was left in the nude.
”Hat Guy… have you even been eating enough? You’re almost all skin and bone.”
”I don’t need to eat, I’m a puppet. Any physical changes that occur to me happen by my will.”
Durin clung to his friend’s arm as they walked to the bathroom, Wanderer getting into the tub as Tighnari helped him settle. He tried making some small talk, but it was all Durin who had responded to him.
Wanderer hid his face between his knees, if he was crying, he couldn’t determine which was bathwater and which was tears.
The sensation of Tighnari or Durin bathing him and washing his back and his hair was such an alien feeling to him. He never got this treatment even when he had been back in the Fatui.
After helping him out of the bath and drying him off with a towel, Tighnari had helped the Puppet redress. Wanderer laid on his bed and didn’t move another inch.
Durin’s sniffling caught his attention and he briefly turned around to see him, he wanted to tell the boy to shut up or quit worrying about him, but nothing seemed to come out of his throat.
Tighnari had called for the young Dragon from outside of the room and thus left Wanderer all alone again.
As they had left, the puppet had shuffled up into a sitting position and wrapped his arms around his midsection, closing his eyes and resting his head against his knees as he tried to envision someone holding him.
He recalled that back in the Fatui, he would often hold himself when working long hours with Dottore in his laboratory. He didn’t dare to shed any tears there, he always held it in until he got back to his room.
When he had been friends with Tartaglia, the only time he held him was when they were sleeping together, but even then, there was no actual love or compassion behind the action. It had all been pure lust.
Why did he do it? Was it because he wanted someone to hold, was it because he wanted to be held? Or was it the satisfaction that Dottore never gave him.
Dottore tried to make him a God, but when his experiment failed, he went M.I.A. and abandoned Scaramouche to be in Lesser Lord Kusanali’s hands.
He thought about Niwa, the young boy who died (betrayed) him. Human mortals were so weak, so fragile, so stupid. Oh how he loathed them all.
But most importantly he hated a true God, his creator, his mother.
Raiden Ei, and her puppet form the “Raiden Shogun,” oh how he hated (loved) her.
Back when he had only been known as Kabukimono, he had been appointed to hold Ei’s gnosis, but the puppet would often shed tears in his sleep.
Ei felt that he was completely unsuitable to host her Gnosis out of a guise of being “too weak” and too reluctant to dump him away, had locked him in a Pavillion where he would sleep forever.
”Abandon him? Yae… I just possibly cannot do such a thing.”
”Ei, you have your Puppet don’t you? If you yourself as Ei do not have the courage to do it, why don’t you appoint the Shogunate to do it. I’d always be willing to help you.”
”That’s a good idea… I’ll see what I can do.”
Wanderer was sure that he was droning off by now, snapping out of his daze as he glanced at his body.
Everything seemed to be fine until he had seen strange new markings on his arm, horizontal lines… these were physical manifestations of his negative emotions. The Raven-haired male’s eyes brimmed with tears.
”Hat Guy, Tighnari left, he said that he was going back to report back to Collei and Cyno. He told me to bring you over to Gandhara Ville within a week just in case… Hat Guy—?”
Tears ran down Wanderer’s cheeks, hiding his face away as Durin immediately ran up to check up on his dear friend.
”These human emotions… so pointless. Not a human… don’t need to feel..” Wanderer sobbed, doing his best from keeping his cries from turning into wails as Durin held him tight.
”Don’t be afraid to feel… feeling is Human. Emotions are what makes one’s humanity belong to them.” Durin half-assedly rambled, feeling every sob that Wanderer emitted. This had been the first time where he had seen Wanderer break down.
Hat Guy had seen him cry multiple times before but for Hat Guy to cry himself, it was almost unheard of.
In fact it almost scared him a little.
A hand reached up to touch Durin’s chest, resting on his artificial heart as Wanderer could feel the warmth emitting from it. His sobs quieted down as Durin curiously watched.
”I used to wish that I had a heart.”
Durin didn’t know how to respond, so he just let Hat Guy do the talking instead.
”I was only created to be a vessel, thrown away when Beezebul couldn’t find anything useful within me.”
’Beezebul? Who was that?’
”I used to want the human emotions puny mortals had. God I was so stupid back then.”
”If I had a heart, that would mean my existence in this lousy world would have a meaning. That my existence wasn’t just to be a placeholder or a tool for something. Even now as I have a vision of my own, I still have a lingering hope for something I will never have.”
Durin didn’t know how to respond to such a statement.
”Hat Guy… even though you don’t have a physical heart, I still think that you have a heart of your own.”
”Back in Simulanka, you were the first person that befriended me, even before Fairy Nilou, Cat Box Kirara, and King Navia ever did. You were the first one that called me by my name.”
”You helped me out a lot back there. I think that was you having a heart for me, having a heart isn’t always physical.”
”When I tried to jump off Stormbearer Mountains, you caught me, you brought me back to the house back in Monstadt. When I was going back to sleep that night, Hat Guy, you held my hand and comforted me, but so did Albedo well… both of you guys did.”
Wanderer was deathly silent, looking up as his eyes looked completely tired and devoid of any life.
Durin frowned, “Hat Guy, let’s go to Tighnari’s place. You know Sumeru better than I do so you can lead the way.”
The raven-haired male sighed, wiping his face as he complied with the young dragon’s guidance. “If we leave right now, we can make it by 10.”
”Come on let’s go Hat Guy! I hope I can meet Collei, I heard she used to live in Mondstadt, I really want to talk to her to know why and how she moved to Sumeru.”