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"Holy fuck," James spluttered, setting his cup of coffee down on the coffee table and standing up to get a closer look. "Is that real?"
Sirius rolled his eyes. "Yes, it's real. I have the sore back to prove it."
James snorted. "I think that's more of a sore arse than a sore back."
Sirius whirled around and slapped James's shoulder. "Shut up! What am I going to do?"
James's eyes were alight with mischief. "Well, you could always get a cover up."
Sirius immediately shook his head. "No thank you. This one was painful enough. Besides, it has to be, like, properly healed to get it covered up. I've only had it for a day."
"I never took you to be such a wuss," James replied, flopping back down onto the sofa and leaning back. Sirius groaned and sat down beside him, burying his head in his hands. "It won't be a problem anyway, mate. It's not like he regularly sees your lower back."
Sirius raised his eyebrows. "James, I wear crop tops pretty much twenty four seven."
James covered his mouth with his hand to hide his shit-eating grin. "Well then let me introduce you to t-shirts. Why his name anyway? You couldn't have gone with anything less obvious?"
"Marlene's idea was to get the lunar phases," Sirius admitted woefully, "but I think that would have been pretty obvious too."
"So instead you decided to get drunk off your arse and have Marlene tattoo you a Moony tramp stamp?"
Sirius ran his hands down his face. He was genuinely quite miserable.
"Are you going to help me or not?"
James's laughter echoed around the room. "Sure. I'll go get you some of my t-shirts."
"Thank you," Sirius grumbled, reluctant to thank James for anything but also knowing that if James didn't help him then he'd have to go to Peter and Peter's fashion sense was even worse.
James got up and headed to his room. He came back with a heap of t-shirts, polo-shirts and jumpers.
"Take your pick."
Sirius wrinkled his nose. "Do I have to? Do you have a moth infestation or something because I've never seen so many holes in my life."
"Hey." James frowned. "Beggars can't be choosers. Pick a few, you git."
Sirius sighed and did so. He ended up choosing mostly plain things, although it pained him to do so. Most of his clothes had designs on them. He liked to think it added a level of self expression that James simply lacked.
In retrospect, getting drunk with Marlene was never going to be a good idea. For one, she'd been pestering him about getting a tattoo for ages and, as a second reason, she was a crazy drunk. Whilst Sirius tended to get all affectionate and people-pleasing, Marlene liked to dare people to jump of bridges (Dorcas actually broke her leg) and snog their best mates (Sirius still remembered the uncomfortable feeling of having Mary kiss him sloppily one Friday night out at a club).
So, it shouldn't have come as a surprise to him that his lovesickness and her complete lack of restraint lead to this: a tramp stamp reading Moony in big, bold letters.
He would probably have to get that cover up or else have it removed with magic, which was said to be far more painful than actually getting it tattooed in the first place so he wasn't keen on that idea.
The problem was that Remus could absolutely under no circumstances learn of Sirius's gigantic crush on him. It was embarrassing, not to mention that they'd been friends since year seven and that would make everything a whole lot more awkward when Remus inevitably didn't feel the same way.
It was a blessing that Remus and Sirius didn't live together like originally planned. It was supposed to be them and then James and Peter in the same building but Peter moved in with Emmeline Vance and Lily was already roommates with Mary and Marlene with Dorcas so Remus had taken one for the team and said he'd live alone. He'd always been the one who much preferred his own company anyway, whereas James and Sirius thrived off of social interactions.
Sirius went to sleep that night late, not being able to think of anything except his impending doom. He had to be able to keep it from Remus, even if he was usually terrible at keeping secrets from his friend. It was for the sake of their relationship after all.
"Why are you wearing James's clothes?" Lily asked the second she saw him. She'd popped round for a cup of tea on her way back from work, claiming she hadn't missed either of them despite having taken the long route on her way home just to see them.
Sirius hoped his face didn't look as warm as it felt. "No reason. Just felt like it."
Lily raised her eyebrows.
"Come on, Lily-pad," Sirius said, putting on his cocky demeanour. "You wear Mary's clothes all the time."
"Because we're the same size," Lily said. "James is, and no offence, broader than you. His sleeves are down to your elbows."
Sirius shrugged. "I fancied something different."
Lily sighed. "Fine. You win. You out-weirded me."
Sirius did a fist pump in his mind. He waltzed over to the coffee maker and brewed himself a cup, gulping the stuff down in fifteen seconds despite the burning in the back of his throat. Maybe if he scorched his tongue he wouldn't have to keep lying to Lily Evans. The woman was incredibly astute.
"Hello, my flower," James said as he came into the room, still pulling on his socks and hopping about as he did so.
Lily sighed even louder. "Hello, James."
James pouted, which, in Sirius's opinion, was adorable. Lily clearly didn't share that opinion.
"No pet name for me?" James asked, placing a hand over his heart as he gave her a quick kiss. Sirius averted his eyes. He didn't need to see that.
"Nope," Lily said bluntly.
"But Reg always gets one!" James protested.
"Because she likes Regulus better than you," Sirius piped up.
"Not true," Lily argued. "I just find him less annoying."
Sirius wasn't exactly happy that two of his friends were dating his baby brother but, to be fair, they were all perfect for each other. Annoyingly so, in fact.
"Oh, before I forget," Lily said, turning to Sirius. "Remus told me to tell you that he's coming round this evening."
Sirius felt the blood draining from his face. "What?"
Lily scowled. "Alright, don't look too excited. I thought you'd be happy. You love when he invites himself over."
"He had a long night the day before last," James interjected. "He and Marlene found the firewhiskey."
"Maybe it's best if he doesn't come," Sirius added. Lily's face took on a very determined and very curious expression that meant Sirius and James were in deep shit.
"What did you do?" she demanded.
"Nothing!" Sirius said, his voice just a pitch too high.
Lily started advancing towards him and he took a couple of stumbling steps back.
"What did you do?" she repeated.
"Nothing," Sirius said, wincing. "Just… Nothing."
"Does it have something to do with you taking my boyfriend's clothes?"
"No?"
Lily whirled around and faced James. "James Potter, tell me."
James glanced at Sirius with wide, apologetic eyes. Sirius felt a lurch of panic.
"No, Jamie, don't you dare," he said but it was too late.
"Sirius got a tattoo of Remus's name!" James blurted out.
Sirius bumped his head against the nearest cabinet, closing his eyes. He heard the squeak of Lily's shoes as she turned on her heels once again.
"You what?"
Sirius slowly opened his eyes, peering at her gobsmacked expression, her mouth slightly ajar with the corners of it starting to twitch into a smile.
"You got Remus's name tattooed on you?" she repeated.
"Technically," Sirius said in an effort to save face, "I got his nickname tattooed on me."
"Oh my Godric," Lily breathed. "You see how that's worse, right?"
"How is it worse?" Sirius complained.
"You got the affectionate nickname you chose for him as a kid permanently inked on your skin. Where is it?"
Sirius braced himself. "On my lower back."
James nodded. "It's basically on his arse."
"Prongs! Stop dropping me in it!"
Lily was silent for a second and then she burst out laughing. "Seriously?"
Sirius groaned. "Yes, seriously. It was a stupid, drunken idea, okay? I'm going to get it covered."
"You have to tell him," Lily said.
"Nope, not happening."
"Come on! It's pathetic at this point, all the pining. He deserves to know."
Sirius couldn't believe the nerve of her. "No one deserves to know! It's my secret."
Lily folded her arms. "You don't think Remus Lupin, the man who has a chronic misinterpretation of everyone's feelings towards him, deserves to know that he's loved?"
Sirius blanched. "Don't guilt trip me into this."
Lily pressed on, gaining traction. "You don't think he deserves to be looked in the eye and told that he's wanted? That he's adored?"
"Fine!" Sirius snapped. "Fine, I'll tell him. But I reserve the right to say that I told you so when he rejects me and I'm miserable. I'm only doing it for his sake."
Lily grinned. "Fine by me."
—
That evening came quickly, far too quickly in Sirius's opinion.
Lily went home shortly after she managed to persuade Sirius by the power of tugging on his heartstrings to confess. James went with her.
Lily was right. Remus deserved to be told that he was loved wholly and completely. Sirius only hoped that one day Remus might appreciate it.
Remus arrived at seven, hanging up his coat on the coat rack and neatly lining up his shoes with Sirius's. He walked into the house like he had done a million times before and went straight to the kettle to make himself a cup of tea.
"Alright, Sirius?" he asked, turning the hob on.
"Yeah, yeah, I'm fine," Sirius replied in a way that, if it were personified, would probably be equivalent to tripping over your own feet.
Remus, however, just smiled at him teasingly. "You're fine? What happened to telling me about the tragedies of your day?"
"Nothing really happened," Sirius said.
Remus leaned against the counter. "Sirius, nothing ever really happens. You just tell me about mundane stuff."
Sirius gasped, placing his hand over his heart in an action he'd learnt from James. "How dare you?"
Remus laughed and the kettle started to whistle.
"Are you going to tell me why you're wearing James's shirt?" he asked, turning the hob off and pouring himself the hot water into his cup, already prepared with a teabag.
"No," Sirius answered after a pause.
Remus shrugged. "Alright. Be a love and get me some milk, would you?"
Maybe it was the fact that Remus indirectly called him love or maybe it was Sirius's persistent haste to do anything and everything for his friend but Sirius instantly went to grab the milk from the top shelf of the fridge. It wasn't ridiculously high up — Sirius wasn't that short no matter what James and Remus said — but it was high enough that his shirt rode up and his jeans were pushed down slightly.
Remus started choking on the air.
Alarmed, Sirius whirled around, abandoning the milk and going to his friend's side, patting him on the back. "Are you okay?"
Remus shook his head, eyes watering as he thumped his chest. "Padfoot…"
Sirius frowned. "What? Are you dying? Oh Godric, please don't be dying."
"No, I'm not dying," Remus said. "I just didn't realise you got a tattoo."
Sirius's life flashed before his eyes. "What? You saw it?"
Remus shook his head again. "I saw the top of it, only a few lines. Can I see it properly?"
Sirius would have liked to have said absolutely not and get out of my flat right now but this was Moony, his Moony. He couldn't hurt his feelings.
"Okay," he said, sucking in a deep breath, "but can I say something first?"
Remus's eyebrows drew together. "Of course."
"Okay," Sirius said again. "You and I… We're best friends, right? And that's never going to change?"
"Of course not."
"Good. Great. Because, you know, on account of us being such good friends, we don't keep secrets. I mean, there was the time you didn't tell us you were a werewolf but we figured it out pretty quickly and honestly it wasn't a big deal so this isn't going to be a big deal at all compared to that. I promise. I think."
Sirius looked right into Remus's eyes, which were brimming with concern. He could do this. Moony deserved to know.
"And I'm telling you this," he continued, "not because I expect it to change anything but because you deserve to know and it explains a few things. Remus, I like you."
Remus tilted his head to the side. "I like you too? We're friends, why wouldn't I?"
"No, not like that," Sirius said. "I mean, yes like that but also I like you romantically. Like, as something different to friends."
Remus froze for a moment and Sirius was more than a bit concerned that he'd just majorly fucked up so, in true Sirius Black style, he kept talking.
"And I'm only telling you because I think it's better for us to be open and honest," he blabbered on, "and because I did something a bit stupid."
"What… What did you do?" Remus said faintly.
Sirius flinched. "Ah. See, Marlene and I were drunk and you know how she bought that tattoo machine so she could practice for her apprenticeship from home and also tattoo frogs on herself… Well, she kind of tattooed your name on me, Moony. Or, rather, I got your name tattooed on me."
Remus's eyes widened, his cheeks flushed red. There was a painful silence for a few moments until Remus mumbled, "Can I see?"
Sirius blinked. "Oh, yeah. If you want."
He turned around and lifted up his shirt.
Staring at the wall, he pictured a thousand scenarios in which this ended in heartbreak. It was one thing to tell someone you had a crush on them. It was another to say that and then reveal the tattoo of their name that you got on your back.
"Sirius," Remus said softly. "You're shaking."
Sirius cleared his throat. "Well, you're a bit quiet back there, Moony. Look, I'm sorry. I'll get it covered up or removed, whatever's better. Whatever you want, I'll do it. I'm so sorry."
"Don't be," Remus said so quietly that Sirius didn't think he'd heard him right.
"Sorry?"
"Yeah, that," Remus replied. "Don't be it."
Sirius lowered his shirt again and turned around. What he saw on Remus's face wasn't disgust or repulsion. It was something glimmering and gentle.
One of Remus's hands went to Sirius's waist, the other going to the hem of his shirt to lift it up again and reveal the tattoo that Remus could only still see because he'd suddenly pulled them both very close.
Sirius's heart was in his throat.
"Moony?" he said.
"Padfoot," Remus answered, voice still low but sure and steady. When he ducked down to kiss Sirius, Sirius was sure he was dreaming.
Holy fuck, he thought to himself. Is this even real?
Remus's hands were sure and steady on Sirius's hip and on the small of his back. His mouth was soft but insistent, kissing Sirius again and again like he'd just found a new source of air to breathe. Sirius was still but only for a second before his hands were flying to Remus's hair, tangling in his curls and dragging him closer.
This was heaven. He had to be asleep right now. There was no way. What he'd done was crazy and Remus was kissing him about it.
"You're not mad?" Sirius said, breathing heavily as they parted. Remus kissed him again.
"No, love. It might be the most attractive thing I've ever seen in my life."
Sirius laughed. "You can't be serious."
"No," Remus said, "I'm not Sirius. You are."
"That's terrible."
"And you like me anyway."
"I do. I really do."
Neither of them noticed that Remus's tea was growing cold, not as they kissed, not as they gripped each other tight, not as they walked back to Sirius's bedroom and not as the door slammed shut behind them.