Chapter Text
The summer heat had started getting to me, my shirt sticking to my back from all of my sweat. It's been super hot out all summer, like “i could cook something on the concrete” kind of hot all summer. And being forced to leave my house everyday doesn't make this summer heat any better for me. Or any of the kids outside in general, including my friends. Even Patrick. Even though I didn't like him, it would be a pain in the ass to be out in this kind of heat for long periods of time. Especially for how long he'd been out in it. Or everyone could at least hope he was inside somewhere. Preferably not dead or being beaten by some psycho. If he had been kidnapped, but he had just been missing. Nobody knew if he was just stuck somewhere in a forest with a broken leg unable to move, or just trying to get away from everything in Derry running away from all his problems. If he even had any. He didn't believe in problems for himself. For others it was a different story. He thought he was some sort of god who could do no wrong. Which was complete bullshit but I liked feeding into his delusions for the fun of it all.
Patrick hadn't been answering any of his texts or calls since summer began or hanging out with our group at all. Which is concerning because he always wants to be around us. He's like an annoying fly that never leaves you alone. We'd been to his house once or twice but his mom just said he wasn't home and was probably staying with another friend for a bit or something. But we knew that was bullshit because Patrick didn't have any other friends besides us. Every other kid in Derry was scared of him and wouldn't even look in his direction. And as far i know none of us would even let him come over to our houses let alone sleep in our beds. Besides me. Me and Patrick had sleepovers sometimes when he would sneak into my window at night, or when I stayed at his place not wanting to be around my dad.
It's been more than a week now that summers started and Patrick's been m.i.a and we were all getting really curious on where he'd gone this time. He's disappeared before but never longer than 4 days. Normally he'd be at some random girl house or staying awake walking down dirt roads or in the forest. But never gone for this long without anyone knowing where he's gone.
At some point my dad had told me Patrick's dad had called our house phone asking if he'd been around our place lately because they were trying to get hints of where he might currently be. Which is weird because Patrick's dad hates 2 things, mainly me and my family. And secondly Patrick. He never cared for Patrick, not even when Patrick was young. His dad had never liked him, he told me his dad had hit him on a few circumstances, and told me the first time his dad had hit him was on his brother's birthday. His brother Avery was just turning 2 and Patrick was 8 at the time, but man he was just as fucked up than as he is now. He hated his brother and claimed he was “the only other real person” besides himself and that “he needed to go” because he wanted to be the only “real” person and be a god. He'd always been fucked up like that for as long as i could remember. I'd known Patrick since we were 7 and I had watched him crush frogs under his boots while walking to school. So he decided that day to be the only real person and take out his brother. He grabbed a nearby pillow and suffocated his brother to death. When his parents found out they were pissed, and his dad hit him for the first time. His dad had hated him since that day. His mom didn't hate him because she started to tell herself Patrick would never do something so cruel and just didn't want to believe it so she didn't. She thinks Patrick is just so sweet even when he screams back at his parents. But that was the first of many times his dad had gotten physical with him. He hated his dad and wanted to beat him shitless everytime he hit him, but he liked something about the pain the swings brought him, he would always say they made him “feel alive” but who even cares what Patrick says, hes too fucked up anyways.
As much as I hated Patrick the whole time we had been “friends” , the silence without him was more painful than him flirting with me or making psychotic remarks about cutting open animals and watching their bodies rot and decay over time periods.
It felt weird actually having girls approach us because he wasn't there to glare at all the girls with his creepy grin to scare them away. And as far as his friendship went with our group none of us would ever admit we actually missed him being there. At least never me. I had a reputation to uphold and I couldn't have people finding out I missed him. They would think i was a faggot. I would rather die than have people think i'm a faggot. That thought alone made me want to topple over and throw up
“Henry?” I snapped back to reality when I finally heard Belch and Victor trying to get my attention by saying my name right in front of my face.
“What?? What do you guys want?!” I barked back like I might've been talking about Patrick aloud.
“You weren't talking and we thought you might've zoned out or something. Sorry for getting in your face” Victor said but he said it in a way that sounded like he wanted to ask if i was thinking about Patrick. But he didn't wanna ask because he thought I might bark back and be all angry with him.
I mean I would but I wouldn't just say it. Not now. I didn't want to upset both of them even more because everyone's being so emotional right now with not knowing where Patrick is. But what's the point anyways. Nobody actually cares about him besides us. Besides me. But I wouldn't let anybody know that out loud.
“Yea, i just zoned out thinking about stuff. just continue walking” i replied back dryly not wanting either of them to ask me any further questions.
And it worked because they both went silent. Almost too silent. They turned back around and started glancing around the streets as we walked. looking for something. Scanning the areas around the street and the alleys we walked past. Like they were searching for something. For someone. For Patrick. But it's not like they were going to find him now. The police had already searched all of Derry. Or at least that's what my dad told me. But he's a lying bitch and always hated Patrick. Would always call him a “little fairy” and say I shouldn't be hanging out around him because he might turn me gay and he was just a "psychotic piece of shit” who pretended like he was god or some bullshit. Most of it was true but it still hurt to hear him calling Patrick stuff when he was gone. Not gone. Still out there. Just not next to me right now.
I kept telling myself he was probably living in the junkyard because that's the only place he actually liked to go when we would hangout. Every time he would show up at my bedroom window, on my roof, asking me to hang out and go to the junkyard with him because he was bored. I always said yes to him because I never had anything better to do and it's not like I wanted to be in the same house as my dad. So I went there everyday to look for him. Scanned every inch of that place everyday. Never found him but told myself he'd be there the next day. He never was. But I wasn't going to give up on him. Not now. Not ever. Until I found him. But it's not like I went around telling people that. Because that would be gay. We continued walking down the hot cemented sidewalks reaching no destination in particular, but the edge of Derry, which was always guaranteed when we went out together because stupid Belch and Vic never knew where to really go when Patrick wasn't here to decide for us. Normally while Vic and belch were arguing over whether to just go get food or harass kids again, Patrick would chime in and say we should go to the junkyard. Always that stupid damn junkyard. I still don't know what the appeal of that place was to him. the stupid disgusting smell of dead animals that always lingered there mixed with the rest of every metal thing within a 200 foot range. “So.. where do we go now?” Belch asked really stupidly because the only answer to that question we normally got was the junkyard but none of us seemed to want to say it because it was reserved for Patrick to say. But he wasn't here right now was he? “The junkyard.” i said in a pan dead tone because if they weren't going to say it someone had to. We all knew it was where we would end up anyways so better make it there sooner than later. “Uh yea that's the answer we were looking for. Thanks for pointing out the obvious hen..” that came from Vic and those were the last words that came out of any of our mouths for the next 30 minutes while we walked to the opposite side of Derry towards the junkyard. /p>