Chapter Text
‧₊ ♪˚⊹ DENKZ!⚡️(@pikapikadenkz) — pleasegoaway (@shinsou.h ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁shi)
Unknown Number: KIRI
—> sent 2:07pm
Unknown Number: I KNOW THIS IS RANDOM AND I JUST GOT UR NEW NUMBER BUT
—> sent 2:08pm
Unknown Number: PLS HELP. BAKUBRO IS HUNTING ME DIOWN I VANT AEE ANYTNING
CONTROL UR BF!!!!
—> sent 2:08pm
Unknown Number: AND BEFORE U ASK NO I DIDNT STICK MY TOES IN HIS FOOD AGAIN!! :((((
THIS TIME IDK WHY HES MAD
—> sent 2:09pm
Me: What.
—> sent 2:17pm
Unknown Number: DONT ACT DUMB PLS JS COME
HELELP
HES GRABBING
WMY FEHET
—> sent 2:26pm
Me: Who are you?
I couldn’t care less about this situation, but whoever this ‘bakubro’ guy is, probably has a reason if he’s mad.
—> sent 2:39pm
Unknown Number: SURE BROCHACHO IM NOT FALLING FOR TBIS AGAIN
—> sent 2:41pm
Me: Ffs.
I don’t know who you are. And I’m not whoever this ‘kiri’ guy is.
—> sent 2:43pm
Unknown Number: OKAY I FINALLY GOT AWAY.
No thanks to ur help 😒😒
Mina had to come and JEEZ was that bad to watch
But anywayazzz
—> seen 3:02pm
Unknown Number: Apparently someone ate his last cup of instant ramen…… which might’ve been me,,
But I did NOT deserve to get chased around the campus!!!!!!
AND I didn’t even know it was his!!! :(((
—> seen 3:03pm
Unknown Number: Kiribro? U there?
—> sent 3:07pm
Me: You’ve got the wrong number.
And excuse me for asking, but why the fuck would you put your toes in someone’s food?
—> sent 3:16pm
Unknown Number: O shit
Is this really not u kiribro????
—> sent 3:21pm
Me: No.
—> sent 3:25pm
Unknown Number: PLS say ur jk and i didnt just text a random person all of fhat… D:
—> sent 3:26pm
Me: You did. How did you even get my number?
—> sent 3:28pm
Unknown Number: OOO NOO Im so sorry dude!!!!
Wait
r u a girl??
I swear I put in the rite nunber!!!!
So sorry !!!
—> sent 3:29pm
Me: It’s fine.
And why are you asking?
—> sent 3:30pm
Unknown Number: I dunnooooo
mybe we were meant 2 be! Wink wink 😉
Why else would fate have brought us together?
Tho I guess ur gender doesn’t matter 😅
—> sent 3:31pm
Me: Why would my gender not matter?
And you don’t know me. Your idiocy brought us ‘together’.
—> sent 3:32pm
Unknown Number: heyyy!!!
That’s mean..
wait, is this secretly kaachaann?
Now that I think about it, I can totally see you saying ‘DONT CALL ME THAT DUNCE FACE’
But in a more mysterious, nonchalant tryhard way
Yknow?
—> sent 3:34pm
Me: One, I don’t know who ‘Kacchan’ is.
Two, I would not say that.
Three, why are you still talking to me?
—> sent 3:35pm
Me: Dunce face seems fitting for you, though.
—> sent 3:36pm
Unknown Number: Is this ‘gang up on me’ day or what!!! :((
And why not?!! We could be soulmates, or enemies, or future best friends!
—> sent 3:38pm
Me: No.
—> sent 3:42pm
Unknown Number: why not??!
—> seen 3:43pm
Annoying Rando: Hey, let’s play a game!!!
And before you get all GLOOMY on me, it’s for fun!
—> sent 6:32pm
Me: Fuck off.
Why are you still texting me?
—> sent 6:46pm
Annoying Rando: (*꒦ິ꒳꒦ີ)
Ok negative nancy..
And again, I dunno! I’m boredd
—> sent 6:47pm
Me: I could be a fifty year old man whose only goal is to hack your account. And don’t call me that.
—> sent 6:50pm
Annoying Rando: You do text like a grandpa…
—> sent 6:51pm
Me: Excuse you.
—> sent 6:52pm
Annoying Rando: But I know you’re not.
I may be stupid, but I’m not DUMB! >ᴗ<
—> sent 6:52pm
Me: That makes no sense.
—> sent 6:53pm
Annoying Rando: Shhhhhhhhh mystery person
Now let’s play a game 😉
Wait, what’s ur name?
And u didn’t answer what gender u r!!
Not slick bud 🥱
—> sent 6:54pm
Me: Don’t you have friends to talk to? Like that ‘Kiri’ or something?
—> sent 6:57pm
Annoying Rando: Yeah, but I’ve been with them all day! And you’re interesting! I can tell we’re gonna be BESTIES !! ૮₍˃̵֊ ˂̵ ₎ა
—> sent 6:57pm
Me: No thanks. I don’t make friends. Especially not with someone like you.
—> sent 7:00 pm
Annoying Rando: Someone like me?
You CAN call me funny and charming in a different way…
But I guess this works 😎 ♪‧₊˚
And you HAVE 2 know that doesn’t work
it only makes me more excited!!
—> sent 7:01pm
Me: Whatever.
Can you leave me alone now?
—> sent 7:06pm
Annoying Rando: No can do, bud!
—> sent 7:07pm
Me: I’m not your bud.
—> sent 7:09pm
Annoying Rando: Not yet 😉
Now, chillax and let’s play my game!
—> sent 7:09pm
Me: Who the hell says ‘chillax’?
I should just block you.
—> sent 7:11pm
Annoying Rando: Calm downnn
Why r u so angry 😤
And you wouldn’t block me! Im too entertaining
—> sent 7:12pm
Me: Yeah, entertaining to watch and laugh at.
—> sent 7:12pm
Annoying Rando: So I’m funny?!!
I got ‘Mr. Nonchalant Tryhard’ to call me funny, and it’s only been a few hours!
—> sent 7:13pm
Me: …That’s not what I said. And, not my name.
—> sent 7:15
Annoying Rando: Yeahhh yeahhhhh brotato
—> sent 7:15pm
Me: I’m just gonna ignore you.
—> sent 7:16pm
Annoying Rando: Awhhh
But not block me?
Hmmm 🤨
I think you’re starting to like me!!
—> sent 7:17pm
Me: I don’t know who you are. You don’t know who I am. You’re starting to piss me off.
The only reason I haven’t blocked you is because I don’t have anything better to do.
—> sent 7:20pm
Annoying Rando: Awh man
Well, i’ll make sure to change that 😎
You’re gonna LOVE me
—> sent 7:21pm
Me: It’s not gonna happen.
—> sent 7:21pm
Annoying Rando: Mhm sure buddy
Anyways
Since you’re not telling me ur name or gender im gonna keep calling you Mr Nonchalant Tryhard
UGH Nvm that’s too long
Mr. NT
—> sent 7:23pm
Me: That’s stupid.
—> sent 7:25pm
Annoying Rando: Which makes it work!
—> sent 7:25pm
Me: Funny.
—> sent 7:25pm
Annoying Rando: Can you pleaseee just tell me your name?!!! I don’t wanna call you Mr NT, it kinda sounds like nut…
—> sent 7:26pm
Me: Earn it.
—> sent 7:28pm
Annoying Rando: …dam
Seriously?!
Also, I’m getting major dude vibes, so I’m gonna assume you’re a boy
—> sent 7:30pm
Me: Again, earn it.
I’m not giving out stuff about me to a stranger for free.
—> sent 7:32pm
Annoying Rando: UGH
WHYYYNEHEJSHAK
—> sent 7:33pm
Me: I still don’t know you. You could be a serial killer for all I know.
—> sent 7:34pm
Annoying Rando: Hehe
I’d be so cool, wouldn’t i?!!!
—> sent 7:34pm
Me: Nevermind. You’re too idiotic and energetic for that.
—> sent 7:35pm
Annoying Rando: See! We’re bonding!!!
Ur starting to fall for the my charm 😏😈
—> sent 7:35pm
Me: What.
—> sent 7:35pm
Annoying Rando: OMG I JUST REALISED
How about
If i tell u my name
You tell me yours!
—> sent 7:35pm
Me: I still don’t trust you.
—> sent 7:36pm
Annoying Rando: UGH okay wait
—> seen 7:37pm
Annoying Rando: IMG.PNG1827
(The photo consists of a young male adult with bright, blonde hair with a highlighted black lightning bolt dyed in his bangs. He’s wearing what seems to be a simple yellow hoodie, with a white shirt underneath. Tanned skin contrasts well against the gold in his eyes, with subtle freckles scattered against his cheeks. There’s a small, barely noticeable scar that’s hidden underneath messy hair. He holds a goofy expression: sticking out his tongue as he holds up a peace sign, winking.)
—> seen 7:38pm
Me: You shouldn’t send random people photos of yourself.
—> sent 7:45pm
Annoying Rando: I’m cute, aren’t I?!!
Admit it mystery boy
You like my looks, hehhhh??!?!
You went so quiet 🤫
—> sent 7:46pm
Me: I have no trouble admitting when someone’s somewhat good-looking. But your personality ruins it.
—> sent 7:48pm
Annoying Rando: You think im cute tho,
Dont ya??
—> sent 7:48pm
Me: Maybe. But you’re still as unbearable and obnoxious as before.
—> sent 7:50pm
Annoying Rando: Woa
I didn’t expect you to actually admit it heaehsjq
Well, it’s only fair you do the same!!
—> sent 7:54pm
Me: Hm.
—> sent 7:56pm
Annoying Rando: i DID earn it!!!
—> sent 7:56pm
Me: Fine. I’m a guy. My name is Shinsou Hitoshi.
—> sent 7:58pm
Annoying Rando: Oooooooo i see i see SHINSOU
My name is Denki Kaminari!
But don’t i deserve a pic 2 SHINSOU?
Since i sent one SHINSOU
—> sent 7:58pm
Me: You did that on your own. Therefore, I don’t owe you anything. And stop saying my name.
Your name sounds like calamari.
—> sent 7:58pm
Annoying Rando: WHAT
THATS NOT FAIR
And fine SHINSOU
n yeaahhh i get that ‘calamari’ thing a lot
Not necessarily a bad thing tho!
—> sent 7:59pm
Me: Yes, it is. Now bye.
—> sent 8:00pm
Annoying Rando: ???????
NOOOOOO
HEY
WE WERE BONDING
Whered u gooooo
GET BACK HERE STRANGER
SHINSOU
SHINNNNNNSSOUUU
AURUFJWOW
OR ELSE
IM GONNA START SPAMMING YOU
In 3
2
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Im
Gonna
Start
Sending
Memes
If
You
Don’t
Respond
[IMG.PNG292]
This is me rn
[IMG.PNG927]
[IMG.PNG677]
Heh…. Six seven 🤑🤑
PLEASE
GET
BACK
UGHH
SHINSOUAUAU
Ykw
Fine
LEAVE UR POTENTIAL FUTURE HUSBAND TO ROT
But im not going down this easily 💪🏻
—> seen 8:09pm
M⚡️DENKIBRO: DUDE
THE MOST EMBARRASSING THING HAPPENED TO ME
HELP SERO
🍃SEROBRO: dude what did you do
did you piss bakubro off again?
that was HILARIOUS
⚡️DENKIBRO: OH Shush tjat was totally uncool!!!!
And why do u always assume I did somethin?!
🍃SEROBRO: did you srsly just ask that?
⚡️DENKIBRO: …Yeaahhhhhhh that’s lowk fair
Anyways
So you know how bakubro was chasing me?
🍃SEROBRO: lmfao yeah
mina recorded it
you guys looked so dumb
⚡️DENKIBRO: Yeah yeah whatevs
So
I was tryna text kiribro
Bc who
the heck else
is gonna calm down bakubro?!
🍃SEROBRO: fairs
idk how kiri does it.. its like taming a dragon
⚡️DENKIBRO: HTTYD MENTIONED!!
DID U DO THAT ON PURPOSE??
🍃SEROBRO: course i did brah
anyways carry on
⚡️DENKIBRO: MY DUDEE
Anywaysszab
So yk kiri got a new number right bc he broke his phone
🍃SEROBRO: that was scary bruh. how is he that strong!?
⚡️DENKIBRO: Reals! #needthat
🍃SEROBRO: hehe be careful dude.
bakubros gon kill u if he hears that
⚡️DENKIBRO: Our bro is 1000% husband material!
🍃SEROBRO: true that
⚡️DENKIBRO: So I put in the number cuz i need his help
And i text the number
N Im a rush right?
And im sayimg like rlly embarrassing things
Cus normally
Kiri would never shame me for being a coward
And i mentioned the time where i put my toes in bakubros food
🍃SEROBRO: i cant keep defending u bro
that was wild 😭
hilarious tho
u always do the dumbest stuff bruh
⚡️DENKIBRO: That was… an accident
ANYWAYS
So im saying all that
And bro
BRO
BROSKIII
🍃SEROBRO: ??
wait
hol up
dont tell me..
⚡️DENKIBRO: WRONG. NUMBER.
BROO
I WAS IN SUFH A RUSH
I PUT IN THE WRING NUMBER AT THE END
🍃SEROBRO: BRO
oh my gosh 🤦♂️
i cant even be surprised atp
no offence broski
but you are an idiot sometimes
⚡️DENKIBRO: I KNOWWW
BUT LIKE
IT WASNT RLLY MY FAULT BC I WAS IN SUFH A RUSH
🍃SEROBRO: eh
It is hard to focus when you can hear bakubro screeching from afar
⚡️DENKIBRO: Seeeee!!
But then the guy responds and he lowk seems cool
And we start talkimg
But hes on some nonchalant tryhard shi
🍃SEROBRO: wait
you didn’t just leave after??
⚡️DENKIBRO: I was bored
And this guy seemed cool
Even if he definitely has a brick shoved up his ass
🍃SEROBRO: istg ur gonna get hacked one day
⚡️DENKIBRO: Nonono but like
We started talking
And turns out
We’re the same age
I figured out his name
But he’s like
SO secretive
🍃SEROBRO: i mean
a random stranger did just text him
for all he knows
ur also a hacker
⚡️DENKIBRO: Fairs fairs
But i showed proof i wasnt
🍃SEROBRO: …
did you send him a photo of yourself??
⚡️DENKIBRO: 👍
🍃SEROBRO: WHEYY
DENKI
PIKACHU
IDIOT
KAMINARI
DUDE
⚡️DENKIBRO: OK B4 U START FREAKING OUT
He didn’t do anything weird
His name is Shinsou Hitoshi
and hes the same age as me
i think
🍃SEROBRO: shinsou hitoshi??
did u just say
shinsou
hitoshi
⚡️DENKIBRO: Ok im scared now
What plot twist is next?!
Pls don’t tell me he’s some sort of criminal
Oooo or a celebrity
i AM on that money grind..
🍃SEROBRO: denks
do NOT text that guy anymore
⚡️DENKIBRO: ??? Y
Is he actually a criminal??
🍃SEROBRO: I can’t say anything but
from what I’ve heard
that guys in some shady stuff
don’t text him anymore, ok denks?
⚡️DENKIBRO: Huh?!!!!
🍃SEROBRO: gotta go now bro
my break is over
but
don’t text him
srsly don’t
please denks
⚡️DENKIBRO: U still haven’t said why!!!!
SEROOO
What rhe flip is this cliffhanger bro
Ugh
Im definitely questioning you tomorrow!!
Me: Potential future husband? You’re ridiculous.
—> sent 02:34am
Annoying Rando: SHINSOUUUU
FINALLY
Took u ages!!
I kinda thought u blocked me or smth
Have u finally realised that im too fun to resist?
—> sent 02:37am
Me: …Why are you even awake?
And that’s not why I responded.
You’re lucky I didn’t block you.
—> sent 02:45am
Annoying Rando: Why are YOU awake mister?
Also I still don’t have the face to the name Shinsou :(
—> sent 02:46am
Me: You’re really not going to let this go, will you?
—> sent 02:47am
Annoying Rando: Nope!
Also… how old are you??!
—> sent 02:47am
Me: I’m 64 years old. I live with my fiancé and my grandchildren are visiting.
—> sent 02:48am
Annoying Rando: …oh
OH UHMM
SORRY
UHHH
PLS DONT LEAK THA PIC
—> sent 02:49am
Me: I’m joking.
Can’t understand good humour?
—> sent 02:50am
Annoying Rando: oh thank GOD
U SCARED ME THERE DUDE
—> sent 02:50am
Me: You’re lucky that wasn’t my actual age.
I’m 21. You look around my age.
—> sent 02:52am
Annoying Rando: See wasn’t so hard was it?!
And same!
OMG
WHENS UR BDAY
We might be bday buddies!!
—> sent 02:53am
Me: You’re way too energetic during the night.
And I think I’d rather throw up than be your ‘birthday buddy’.
—> sent 02:53am
Annoying Rando: Ohh come onnnn
And I can’t help being energetic
My ADHD is acting up 🤷
Now, what’s your birthday?
—> sent 02:54am
Me: Why are you interested?
Go to sleep.
—> sent 02:55am
Annoying Rando: You first!!
And stop asking questions! This is for fun
And again, who knows?
We could be soulmates!
At the least friends, you seem so uptight 🤔
—> sent 02:55am
Me: It’s late. I can’t sleep. Some idiot I don’t know is texting me about random things they don’t need to know.
I’m leaving now.
—> sent 02:56am
Annoying Rando: :((((( Shinsouuuu
You do seem tired
So i’ll leave you for now
—> sent 02:57am
Me: Good.
—> sent 02:57am
Annoying Rando: That won’t make me give up tho!
Be prepared for tomorrow! Im totally gonna get an answer.
Also, your name sounds cool!👌😎
—> sent 02:57am
Me: …Whatever.
Get some sleep.
—> sent 02:59am
Annoying Rando: You care!!!
Baby steps, shinbro, baby steps
—> seen 03:00am