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The hallway was bustling with students on their way to lunch. The casual chatter and hurried footsteps carried over its way to the staff room where a certain green haired individual resided.
"Midoriya! Let's go! It's time for lunch, seriously I've started to worry that you'll end up looking more like Shouta these days!", Mic exclaimed towards Izuku who had been hunched over his desk marking his students, packets of nutritional jelly scattered over his desk next to the piles of paper.
"Ah, sorry I'll be there soon. I'm almost done!" Izuku laughs, "I've been busy with a case lately so haven't had much time to finish marking these tests."
"I see. Well don't take too long, Listener! Skippin' meals ain't good for ya', ya' know?"
"Will do! Thank you!", he replies.
Mic leaves the room and silence takes over his presence like a blanket. The chattering of the students sounding far away siginifies that they have reached the cafeteria, waiting for their turns to receive their meals from Lunch Rush.
The green-head goes back to marking his papers, humming a soft tune with a smile just as gentle, tapping his red shoes along with it.
Scoff
The sound echoes in the hallway and reached Izuku's ears. He looks up from the paper, wondering where the voice came from. Perhaps he wouldn't be feeling a little concerned if it hadn't sounded slightly wet as if the person had been crying.
Izuku gets up, pushing back his chair, making his way towards the door. He opens it and steps outside in the hallway, standing there for a second wondering which direction he should check first. He gets his answer as he hears a muffled sigh coming from his left. Making his way towards the staircase, the sound of his footsteps rebound in the hall until Izuku reaches his destination.
"What's the matter?" He asks the boy sitting in front of him on the staircase, head pillowed on his arms placed over his knees; his face is hidden as black hair spills over. The boy only stiffens and burrows further in his arms, giving no response other than a hitched breath.
Feeling worried, Izuku goes over and sits near the black-haired student on one of the steps but not too close, not wanting the kid to feel cornered.
"Did something happen?" Izuku questions him once more, his voice not louder than a whisper. Limbs began to unravel and bloodshot eyes slowly came to view.
"I'm fine, there's nothing to worry about", sounding hoarse and strained, possibly from crying for a while.
Well, that's a phrase too familiar for comfort; the teacher thinks to himself, internally sighing. Worry begins to crawl its way through remembering the times he said that exact phrase himself despite the fact that nothing had been fine, using it as a way to fool himself; Lie enough and it eventually becomes the truth.
After being able to see his face, Izuku recalls seeing him during the sports festival, remembering that he was one of the general course students. Kurosawa shiho-kun if I'm not wrong. I can't leave him like this, he thinks to himself.
"I see, that's good then! Ah, can you do me a favor?" The teacher begins to pat the pockets of his suit in search for something.
"Huh?"
He begins to ramble as he hands out a packet of melon bread towards the kid, "Here! I bought this bread today but I didn't realize that I accidentally got the flavour I don't like. It might end up going bad since none of the other staff members like it, so could you please take it instead? Oh, but you don't have to eat it. If you don't want to, I'll figure out something, no worries!"
Kurosawa begins to fidget, unsure whether to accept the offer but ultimately decides to take it, "Eh?....uh, w-well sure."
"Really!? Thankyou!" Izuku exclaims
"Hmm," he looks back, admittedly feeling a little awkward.
The two of them sit together in silence as the black-haired kid finishes the piece of bread. The crackling of the wrapper mixed with the sound of soft breathing took up the air without a complaint. Izuku wonders while supporting his chin on his hand, stealing a glance at the student exactly what could have happened that led to him sitting here with nobody but himself, exuding an aura of grief and misery.
"They say you feel worse on an empty stomach; How're you feeling now?" He asks once Kurosawa is done eating.
"You're kinda nosy, aren't you, sensei?" He says while wiping the crumbs off the side of his mouth, blue irises finally look up towards the teacher.
Izuku softly laughs, agreeing with him as the student sighs
"I've had a lot on my mind for the past couple of days and the stress of the upcoming finals didn't make it any easier", he looks down his hands as he wrings his fingers, eyebrows furrowing. Kurosawa continues, "I ended up taking out my anger on him even though he just wanted to help. I bet he doesn't even want to see me anymore."
Izuku listens to him and offers a quiet hum, signaling that he's listening
"..I don't know what to do anymore. It's not like it's the first time we've fought, but it felt different this time." His voice started to wobble.
"Have you tried making up for it? An apology perhaps?"
"Didn't you hear what I said? I said he wouldn't want to see me anymore!"
Kurosawa starts getting agitated looking like he's ready to sprint away any second now. Holding an angry expression but deep with pain as he looks at Izuku. The green head doesn't falter and replies,
"Sometimes the best thing one can do is apologize and admit that they did wrong. That's the least you can owe him, right? The rest would ultimately be up to him."
Perhaps there had been lingering empathy in his tone that brought Kurosawa out of it, believing that the teacher might have had a similar situation occur to him.
"Sensei, you sound like you're talking from experience"
"Is that so? Well, the situation's a little different, but you're not wrong!" Izuku replies and takes a heavy breath, "Let's just say I've had a fair share of arguments with my childhood friend myself."
Kurosawa's eyes light up the moment he mentions said childhood friend, a look on his face contrary to how it had been before, "You mean dynamight, right? He does seem like the type to instigate arguments based off how he acts on camera", he laughs.
"Maybe when we were younger but the last few times have been on me actually..." He says looking away while passing his fingers through his messy hair as they get pulled on the strands.
"Wait seriously? Judging from your personality, I didn't expect that, no offense!" Kurosawa's eyes widen
"I mean, I'm human too, I'm not beyond arguments afterall! Although, I am a bit ashamed to admit it..."
The two of them talked for a while without realizing that lunch time was nearly over. Izuku sends him off to his class once the bell rings; he looks out of the windows where the trees could be seen and with a faraway look on his face, he begins to think back on the events that took place nearly a year ago, memory vivid as if it had occured yesterday.
The streetlights providing a gentle glow as the light hit its surroundings on a quiet night. The trees surrounding the park rustle in the breeze; the leaves whisper in response to the chirping of crickets creating melodies that fill up the air. The stars that twinkled and shone above in the sky had been an audience for the stories that were being created below.
Sitting on one of the swings was Izuku wearing a simple t-shirt and jeans, goosebumps rising up his arms as the cold wind struck his skin. His head in his hands harshly pulling at his hair enough to yank a few strands out.
'Great going Izuku. God, you're such an idiot; it took you years to finally get in a good place with Kacchan, but you just had to let your emotions take over and ruin everything, didn't you?'
Izuku berates himself, a continuous loopback playing in his mind starring a certain blonde walking away from him without a word after Izuku screamed at him for what? Showing concern over the away he had basically shut himself away from everything, not letting himself get reminded of everything that had happened during the war and pretending that none of that mattered to Izuku.
But of course it did, after all Izuku had spent more energy on trying to forget the events that occurred during those days rather than facing it head on to finally move forward in his life without fearing about looking back. Katsuki had been trying to get him to open slowly in roundabout ways, hoping that Izuku wouldn't feel cornered and make things worse. But, eventually he must have realized that it hadn't been working and finally tried ripping the band-aid off, however, it led to Izuku having a heavy mental breakdown.
The harsh untrue words he spoke only in a fit of anger towards Katsuki played like a record in his mind, deeply regretting as his eyes started tearing up at the thought that his childhood friend, his former classmate, his rival, his closest person would go back to hating him. It happened once and it might happen again all because Izuku was a fool who didn't know how to take care of himself.
Lost in his thought, he didn't hear the footsteps that began to get closer until something struck the top of his head making a clanging sound. Surprised by the attack, he flinches and straightens his back, looking around the ground in search of the object that hit him. It had been a can of iced coffee, displaying a large orange cross mark on its surface, a design oh so familiar to Izuku.
'Oh, this is the brand that Kacchan signed an advertisement deal with', Izuku thinks to himself remembering the way Katsuki vehemently denied accepting the deal for a while until he ultimately caved in. Izuku begins to gain awareness of his surroundings once he feels the presence of someone standing in front of him. Upon looking up, he sees crimson irises glowing in the moonlight and looking back at him
"Have ya' cooled down enough, nerd?"
It took a moment for Izuku to realize that he's not hallucinating and it is indeed Katsuki that's standing in front of him. Still in disbelief he finds himself unable to find the answer, his mouth opening and closing without any word coming out. Katsuki sighs as his face softens and goes over to pick up the can from the ground to hand it to Izuku before he sits on the swing next to him. Katsuki opens his can with a clank and takes a sip.
"W-why-how-but...uh", Izuku says intelligently
Katsuki fluent in the language of a muttering, bumbling nerd, snorts. " You sure have a mouth on you don't you? It's unbelievable that nobody knows you can act like a little piece of shit too." He says referencing to what had occurred a few minutes ago. Izuku looks away, ashamed of himself and opens his can as well, taking small sips of his coffee. He doesn't say anything for fear of saying something wrong again.
They sit together in silence as the swings sway slightly; Katsuki finishes his coffee and gets up to throw away his can, using his quirk to create a small enough blast for it to fall into the garbage bin near the entrance of the park. Izuku, still feeling tense from earlier, startles at the noise and looks up.
"You." Katsuki starts
"..yeah?"
He takes a heavy breath, "You need to stop doing this." Izuku continues to listen. "I'm not one to give advice on shit like this, but I know enough that keeping all of this to yourself is only gonna blow up in your face one day or another. That thing that happened earlier is just a small proof of that."
"I know.."
"Do you? Because that's not what it seems like"
"..."
Izuku doesn't offer a reply to that. Katsuki turns to him with a searing glare in his eyes, as if he can see within his soul, which he had buried beneath the husk he built outside. "There's only so much I can do, Izuku." Katsuki stands up and stands in front of him. "I've reached the end of my ropes, now it's your turn to take the next step"
When Izuku goes back to looking down at the ground without any response, disappointment and helplessness start to carve its way within Katsuki, not knowing what he can do to help the man sitting in front of him. It upset him to know that he isn't able to recognize the Izuku he used to know anymore ever since he put up this mask over himself and begins to question if he'll ever be able to. Feeling frustrated, he shifts intending to walk away before Izuku whispers.
"....I'm scared", a whisper so soft that Katsuki almost thinks to he imagined it.
"So much happened that day and I don't think I'll be able to handle it if I let myself think about it."
"You know that won't-can't work, Izuku. You can't just-"
"You don't understand!"
Katsuki stops when Izuku screeches. He looks up at him with tears falling down his cheek, his breathing laboured and uneven.
"You died, Kacchan!"
Oh.
"You died that day! Your heart was–and it was all because–I should have been faster! But I wasn't–I wasn't there on time and it's all my fault!" Izuku struggles to form coherent words as he wails, holding himself tightly while he bitterly screams towards the earth, "Some hero I was, right? Letting you get killed like that, hell, even I became a m-murderer! I couldn't even save the kid in front of me!"
Katsuki is at a loss as to whether it would be right to listen silently or comfort him. He decides, "Oi, you can't possibly believe that's true. Besides, I made the decision that day you don't get to take that away from me"
But Izuku refuses to listen and goes on like a broken tape, "It is...it was all my fault". He pauses for a moment, trying to reign in his breathing.
"Kacchan.....I want to be a hero and I'm so grateful for the suit, even more than you can imagine"
Katsuki senses a but,
"But, I don't think I'm allowed to be one anymore", Izuku hiccups.
And a part of Katsuki breaks away as he hears him say that; he feels his chest beginning to tighten up. Izuku sits still on the swing, trying to calm himself down while Katsuki continues to stand over him.
A few moments pass by until Katsuki decides he's not giving up easily. One of his greatest strengths is that he doesn't back down no matter what; it's the reason why villians fear him just by hearing his name. His resilience is especially true when it comes to a certain nerd.
"You know what, fuck that! I can't believe I just heard you say that. Nope. Absolutely not, Nuh-uh. You're unbelievable! Terrible! How could you do this to me!" Katsuki spins around, kicking stray rocks near his shoes. Izuku looks at him incredulously; he gets surprised enough at the childish display that he forgets that he had been having a mental breakdown just a few seconds ago.
"Wha- Kacchan? Are...you okay?"
"You're an idiot."
Katsuki steps closer until he crouches down in front of him and looks him straight in the eyes.
"First of all, get your head out ya' ass, you're not the center of this world. I'll keep on repeating this until you realize that what happened to me was in no way your fault"
"But-"
"No buts and I'm not done yet," Katsuki interrupts. "Second of all, do you think you're the only hero out here who hasn't killed to save before? You think All Might hasn't taken a life before himself?"
That puts Izuku to a stop and takes a quick breath, his eyes wide
"He said so himself, remember? He had put an end to All for One with his own hands. It was only later that we found out he managed to live"
Katsuki continues
"And it's not just him, fuck, Izuku I'll list out all the heroes who have done the same just for you to understand that it wasn't an easy choice and it's often the last option we have, but it was one you were forced to make for the sake of everyone"
Tears begin to well up once again and it burns. It burns so deeply.
"A burdensome responsibility was placed on you even though you were just a kid. We were just kids." He is gazed upon by Katsuki with an emotion that he is unable to put his finger on.
"But you're not alone on this. You never were"
A hand slowly stretches in front of Izuku
"So take the leap forward and I'll be there to catch you"
Izuku's hand begins to lift and finds its way to Katsuki's. His hands were softer and slender compared to Izuku's, although his quirk was centered around his palms, his skin had never seemed to be rough and calloused, showing that Katsuki had always been good at maintaining self-care. All of a sudden, he gets pulled forward and crashes into familiar arms. The can of coffee falls and spills, both of them now sitting on the ground. He feels one of Katsuki's hand radiating warmth over his back and the other tangled in his hair.
A memory begins to rise up of a day that had been so cold, rain falling over him, his body getting heavier as he loses strength and begins to fall. Yet once again, before he could crash, the same arms he is in right now cradled his tired body, warmth seeping into his bones making him cry for the hundredth time this night.
"I'm sorry! I didn't mean what I said earlier! I'm sorry!" Izuku apologizes for getting angry with him for unfair reasons when Katsuki was simply showing concern before he had walked away.
Arms tighten around him, " I know"
It had been just two words but relief spread thought Izuku knowing that Katsuki understood him without needing more reasoning. He cries even harder and his wailing surrounds the park as Katsuki continues to hold him gently.
"...Stay by my side, please?"
Snort
"Idiot. You don't have to ask, I'll be clingy as fuck."