Chapter Text
The cake tasted wrong; Arthur could sense its sweetness dance on his tongue, and he swallowed it down with a suppressed grimace.
It was way too sweet, lemon mixed with cherry. Truly an awful combination. Arthur was quick to set the small fork back onto its plate with a frown on his face.
It was a beautiful day. The sun stood high and bright in the sky; not a single cloud dared to intrude on its warmth. There was chatter all around; somewhere in the far back sat a music box, playing a cheesy tune while the birds in the trees chirped every now and then. In any other scenario, Arthur would've grabbed the nearest princess and invited her for a dance, but his stomach twisted at the mere thought of moving, and not even his imaginative knight-king status could help him right now. He tore his gaze away from the heavily decorated cake, blinking rapidly as the sunlight hit his eyes in an unexpected way.
"Ayy, ma man!" A heavy hand landed on his shoulder, and he felt his throat tighten up just at the thought of socializing right now.
"Sire Ogun," Arthur greets instead and turns his head to meet his friend's gaze with a forced smile. He'd try to be gentle, just for a few hours. The man in front of him wore a tailored suit, fitting him perfectly and making him look taller than he already was. The fabric was smooth and expensive; Arthur knew because he wore similar attire. After staring at himself in the mirror this morning, he decided that pastel yellow didn't suit him at all, but he wore it anyway.
"Ready for the big moment? Sol, I hope I don't mess up anything. Did you see Tamaki? I need her for the speech," Ogun rambled, and Arthur barely even understood his words.
"I've spotted her by the rose bushes," he simply answered, because it didn't really matter if he actually saw her by the bushes. Ogun would find her anyway, and they would stand close to the altar with microphones in hand, each reading endearing and touching words from little notes in their hands. He felt awful for resenting this day so much.
As quick as Ogun appeared, he was already gone again, leaving Arthur behind with that stupid piece of cake.
Arthur avoided looking over the guests to the main event of it all. Truthfully, he'd rather be anywhere but here, but that would be unbecoming of a knight.
Still, the scene in front of him made his bones ache and his lungs tighten. The entirety of Company 8 were dressed in those ugly pastel yellow suits, holding cake or a glass of champagne, laughing and cheering on something he didn't know of. Benimaru and Konro, who had shown up in more traditional clothing, were conversing with Hibana over the decorations; at least that's what Arthur assumed. Even Sho was mixed into the crowd, desperately trying to save himself from Hina and Hika, who were chasing after him with mischievous looks on their faces. He should go out there and find someone to talk to, mix into the crowd, and blend in with the happy guests.
Each step towards people felt heavier than the last one, and Arthur gave up and stood next to the cake. Everyone looked so joyful. They had every right to be, and he felt worse by the second for being such a downer.
Arthur won't allow himself to be jealous; he won't even be angry or insulted, but there was a sense of grief inside of him that he couldn't stop. Like the sea when it decided to take back the sand that lay ashore, he felt his heart grow heavy. His chest heaved with every breath he took, and for the first time in his life, he didn't have an imagination ready to save his drowning thoughts. Before Arthur had the chance to wallow in his sadness even more, the wedding bells rang.
The one thing that Arthur dreaded more than anything else. He forced himself to take his assigned seat, one at the very front, reserved for special guests and family members. Arthur would've rather sat in the back next to the rose bushes.
The flower crown was crooked and barely holding itself together. Still, Shinra's furious blushing was unable to deny when Arthur handed him the mixture of red and blue. Blue Alpine flowers covered most of it, simply because they were so much more common, but the red lilies that sat between them were beautiful nonetheless. Arthur softly grasped Shinra's hand, who now wore the childish gift with a ridiculous amount of pride.
Now, Shinra stood in front, in a black suit tailored with fancy buttons and expensive linings. No flower crown adorned his stubborn hair. He was too old for flower crowns, too old for experimental relationships. His black strands were gelled back, neatly put in their place. No longer did he look as young and rebellious as he did years ago. Arthur figured that becoming adults had changed them both.
The shoes that Shinra wore were ridiculously shiny; Arthur remembers helping him pick them up from the store last week, and in his right breast pocket sat a small yellow rose. Arthur's gaze got caught on his best friend's expression, eyes shining in awe and lips pressed together in anticipation.
Ogun stood a few meters on the side, chest proudly puffed up. Originally, it should've been Arthur's role to stand there with the mic, telling the guests what a wonderful couple the two made, letting them sink into happy and fond memories of who they have been and will be.
Arthur remembers the way Shinra's face had fallen into disappointment as he told him he wouldn't be able to give the speech. He didn't really remember what reason he had given his best friend, but Shinra had insisted on him at least sitting in the front row. Arthur was sure that Ogun did a better job than he ever could. He had always been good at words; even at the academy, Ogun had been the one to sweet-talk the instructors into giving them just one final chance whenever the three had gotten into trouble.
It hurt to think about a time before the cataclysm. Arthur knew that it was outright wrong to dream about the time they had before, when the world had been in shambles and he and Arthur had shared the bottom bunk in the cathedral. The same cathedral that was no longer a fire force station but an academy. Their new world was beautiful; Shinra had taken care of that.
Next to him, Akitaru, who was no longer Captain Obi, made a soft gasp. As if on cue, the entire crowd turned their heads towards the aisle.
She was beautiful, truly beautiful.
Sweet, in her white dress that dragged on the floor like soft leaves in autumn. It was fairly simple, at least for a wedding dress. The neckline was modest, and the sleeves were bell-like and made her already soft stature look even gentler. Arthur watched as she grabbed Hibana's arm, walking down the aisle with her. She was the picture of elegance and grace.
Her veil flowed behind her like a cloud; the sunlight fell upon it and drenched the yellow rose petals that had been handwoven into the fabric in gold.
"So pretty, makes it look like gold sometimes…" Shinra whispered, hand reaching out to tuck a stubborn strand of hair behind Arthur's ear as his breath ghosted over the blond's lips.
Every step that Iris took made Arthur feel heavier. Her eyes were blue, lips coated in a red shade that her bridesmaids had picked out months ago just for her. Her round face was kind. Iris had always been the most delicate and softest among them all. Shinra used to compare her with a sunflower, always turning towards the sun. He had probably been right. She was practically glowing, the entire world seemed to turn just for her. Arthur understood why he chose her.
Arthur could never hate or harbor negative feelings for her; he wasn't that type of icky person and Iris didn't deserve it. She was so sweet, so much sweeter than he could ever imagine himself being. Still, sometimes, when the self-pity stopped being soft and started turning sharp around the edges, he’d drift back to summer evenings, when they would gather for dinner or movie night. He could still hear Tamaki’s voice, already swaying a bit because they had been celebrating her birthday and she had already downed three shots of sake. She had pointed out that if Arthur had been born a girl, he and Iris would’ve probably been twins.
"We need to stop."
"What— Stop with what?"
"This. Us. I can't ask Iris out if im still fooling around with you, stupid knight. Do you think she likes flowers?"
Because maybe that was it. Maybe that was the quiet, stupid, unspoken thing that had tipped the scale.
Maybe Shinra hadn’t chosen Iris because she was kinder. Or softer. Or more beautiful.
Maybe she’d just looked right standing next to him. Maybe she had just been born in the right gender.
As Konro spoke the vows for the happy couple to repeat, Arthur felt something sour in the back of his throat.
Shinra looked so in love. That was all that mattered, and he wasn't in the place to be selfish, especially not as a knight. Arthur could feel the cheering and yelling fall into the background; his focus lay solely on the man a few meters away from him. He could feel his hands come up slowly, pressing against each other as he tried to match the rhythm of the clapping around him. His eyes stung, but he'd be able to play it off. At least he hoped he would.
Shinra looked happy, so happy. His arms lay around Iris' waist, staring at her so lovingly that Arthur felt like turning away. Everything felt heavy, and then he watched as those red eyes flickered upwards, just once. For barely a second, their gazes seemed to meet. Shinra's eyes were full of wonder and joy, as if to say, 'Look! Look what I did!'
Arthur smiled back at him briefly before swallowing down the lump in his throat as he saw the married couple finally kiss.
Arthur didn't leave the wedding early. He stayed and watched and participated in games and ceremonies, excessive chatter, and laughter. He felt hollow because after it was over, he'd have to go back to his own home. Alone, once again. He wasn't sure if his heart would take it.
The cake tasted sour the next time Arthur took a bite, chewing on the sticky consistency. Lemon cake had always been his least favourite, and now he knew why.