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16th of May; 7 am
Dennis knew something was off the moment he stepped into the PTMC and Robby was nowhere to be seen.
Usually, his attending was always in the pit before all the residents were even changed into their scrubs. Robby always said something about “setting a positive example”. Even when Dennis slept over at his place and drove to work with Robby, the older man was always already chatting with Dana when Dennis left the changing room. That was kinda also to make sure no one from the team would be suspicious if they kept arriving at the exact same time.
After all, they’ve only been seeing each other for half a year and Robby is still kinda Dennis’ boss. And much older. Santos was nagging Dennis all the time about Dr. Robby’s favoritism of the younger man all the time anyway, he didn’t want to give her more reasons to keep doing that.
The pit was slowly filling itself with more of his colleagues, Mel chatting with Langdon, Samira looking as if she was about to fall asleep again, yet still no sight of Robby.
He thought about asking Dana or any of the other nurses if they knew anything, but stopped himself to not raise any suspicions about the pair.
He knew about the gossip, especially coming from Princess and Perlah, the way they were whispering behind their backs when Robby‘s hand lingered on Dennis' neck a moment too long, how he always made sure to check in with Dennis during a particular hard shift first, before talking to the other residents.
He knew how they were calling him Dr. Robby‘s favorite .
They simply just didn’t know how right they were about it all.
„Is Dr. Robby sick or something?“ Javadi asked no one in particular, when the doors coming from the ambulance bay were slamming open, hard enough to straddle everyone around.
„Male victim in his 50‘s, motorcycle accident, a sedan crashed into him. Thrown about fifteen feet. No helmet. GCS fluctuating, eight on scene, dipped to six en route. Breath sounds diminished on the right. O₂ sats hovering low nineties with a non-rebreather. BP’s been soft.“
Oh god
Dennis takes a deep breath, everyone else already running towards the incoming patient and the EMT‘s.
It could be him. But that doesn’t mean it has to be.
Building up courage, he walks towards the other’s, when he hears Mel shrieking.
„That’s...that’s Dr. Robby!“
Dennis doesn’t believe her until he pushes through the others, still on auto-pilot mode, and sees it himself.
There he was. His partner, his boyfriend, his Robby, bleeding and unconscious on a stretcher, an oxygen mask covering his bloody face.
There is a swelling bruise already forming on his right cheek, the cheek Dennis used to caress just two days ago.
It’s Samira who, to his surprise, snaps into motion first, voice cutting through the shock.
“Trauma bay one. Let’s go.”
She and Dana start rolling him away, Princess being quick to follow. He notices Langdon staring but not moving, not until Mel carefully, but with urgency, shakes his shoulder. „We need you now.“, she hisses and Langdon nods, both of them running to the trauma bay.
Of course they all have a relationship with Robby that goes way further than the usual patient-doctor relationship. This was their mentor, the person who listened to them after the worst shifts any of them would ever experience, the one who made sure they ate and slept enough. This was hard for all of them but they still got their act together. For Robby.
So Dennis started moving.
He went to the head of the bed, hands moving automatically. Fingers at Robby’s jaw, careful but firm, checking the airway. His thumb brushes Robby’s pulse point at the neck. It was fast, faint, but it was there.
“On my count,” Samira. “One, two—”
They slide Robby over. Monitors are attached, numbers blooming across the screen in green and yellow. The heart rate is too fast. The oxygen saturation is not where it should be.
Dennis doesn’t let himself look at his face for longer than a split second. He can’t bear to look at him like this.
Clothes are cut away, exposing bruising that’s already blooming across Robby‘s chest. Dennis’s eyes flick over it, cataloging without sentiment. Asymmetry. Shallow rise on the right. Electrodes are slapped on his chest, the numbers are bad. Not catastrophic yet, but bad in the way that tells Dennis they’re running out of time.
“Breath sounds?” Dennis asks, as calm as he can.
“Left is present,” Mel replies. “Right is diminished.”
“Let’s get a portable chest X-ray,” he says. “Prep for intubation.”
“I’ve got him,” he says, as calm as he can. Trying to not let it show how panicked he is actually feeling. He needs to treat Robby like a patient and focus.
He checks pupils—unequal, sluggish. He notes it, files it away. He adjusts the oxygen mask, leans closer, listening to the uneven hitch of Robby‘s breathing.
“Pressure’s dropping,” Dana calls out.
The X-ray machine hums into place. The image flashes up, and there it is. Air where air should not be, the right lung collapsed in on itself like it’s given up.
Dennis’s jaw tightens.
“Pneumothorax,” he states the obvious.
He tries not to think about how Robby explained this to him once, tracing anatomy on a napkin during a secret and rare lunch they had in Robby‘s office, his voice, patient and fond. God, he hoped he could hear him explain literally anything ever again.
“Get the chest tube tray,” Dennis orders. “Now.”
The room obeys him without question.
For the briefest moment, Dennis’s eyes lift to Robby‘s face. His lashes rest dark against his cheeks. Even unconscious, he looks distressed
Dennis swallows.
“I’m here,” he says, so quietly, only for Robby.
He knows, if the situation was reversed, Robby‘s focus would be laser sharp, using everything in his power to save Dennis. So he does the same.
The trauma bay is full now.
Too many people who know Robby. Too many eyes that soften for half a second before snapping back to work. Technically, it’s only a simple accident with injuries they treat daily but it’s still somehow the most catastrophic shift for everyone in this room already.
Dennis’s hands are steady but inside his head, everything is screaming.
That’s my boyfriend.
The thought comes unbidden and almost absurd. It doesn’t belong here. It has no place in a trauma bay, no place between oxygen saturation and blood pressure and the terrifying math of how fast a human body can fail.
But still, everytime he looks down to the stretcher he can’t help but think „That’s my partner. That’s the man I sleep next to. That’s—„
Dennis shoves the thought down hard.
There will be time later to unpack the insanity of all of this.
“You want to tube first or decompress?” Samira asks him, still taking her role as a senior resident seriously by trying to include him.
Dennis doesn’t hesitate. “Decompress. He’s not oxygenating.”
“Agreed,” Samira says immediately.
Dennis steps aside just enough to let Mel in, but he stays close, too close maybe, at least if it was any other patient.
His eyes never leave Robby’s face as Mel works, quick and efficient, sliding the tube into place.
There’s a hiss as trapped air escapes and for a split second, the oxygen saturation ticks up.
Dennis allows himself to exhale for a split second. Robby being brought into their E.R was as much a curse as it was a blessing. Mentally, this would leave a mark on all of them. No one should see their mentor like this. But also, this pushed them extra hard. And because of Robby they were one of the best doctors in all of Pittsburgh. Maybe it would all be okay.
Then the monitor alarms.
Mel is the first one to get her focus back. “Pressure’s dropping.“, she calls out
“Heart rate’s falling.” Mohan adds, the distress in her voice audible
Dennis’s gaze snaps to the screen, the numbers sliding downward
“No, no, no.” he mumbles, immediately leaning in, his fingers at Robby‘s neck again.
Nothing.
He checks once more, harder this time, because denial is such a wonderful thing.
Still nothing.
“There‘s no pulse.” Dennis chokes out, looking helplessly at his friends and being met with several eyes full of fear.
He never expected to say these final sounding words about his love.
“Starting CPR,” Mel says, already moving towards Robby but Dennis is there first. He is the one who needs to do this. If, god beware, Robby would not survive this, he at least needs to know that he did everything he could in his power to save him.
He is so incredibly grateful none of the others know about their relationship because then he would have been kicked out of the trauma bay for a conflict of interest.
Dennis climbs onto the stool without thinking, hands finding Robby‘s chest with muscle memory, training and something feral underneath it.
And then he’s compressing.
The first push is brutal. There’s resistance—too much, too rigid—and then the unmistakable give beneath his palms.
Dennis feels it.
He locks his arms and keeps going, rhythm perfect, depth exact.
He knows he’s doing it correctly but he can’t stop thinking about how he is breaking his boyfriend's ribs. That he is actively hurting him.
This is really Robby‘s chest under his hands.
This is the chest he’s slept against, when it was still warm and solid and alive.
This is the heart he’s listened to in the quiet moments, steady and reassuring when he can't fall asleep.
This is the body that taught him how to do this, how to be better, how to trust his instincts.
“Shock advised,” the machine chirps.
“Clear,” Mohan calls out.
Dennis leans back, hands hovering just above Robby‘s chest to step in immediately again.
The shock lands.
Robby’s body jerks, violent and wrong.
“Resume compressions,” Mel says.
Dennis is already moving.
His arms burn and he is sweating. His breath comes too fast, but his hands never lose the rhythm.
He thinks, distantly, that this is the most competent he has ever been in his life. That if anyone could see him now, they’d never doubt him again.
He would rather be the world's shittiest doctor and never having to do this again.
“Pressure’s coming up,” Dana cautiously says, Mel immediately orders for the pulse to be checked.
So Dennis stops. His hands, the only thing that are keeping Robby alive right now, are shaking when he pulls away.
For one horrifying second, there’s nothing but silence and the ringing in his ears.
Then it appears. It’s faint and weak. But it’s there. It’s enough for them to make it feel like a small victory.
“I’ve got it,” Dennis says, voice cracking, having to stop himself from letting out a sob. “I’ve got a pulse.”
He lives. His own hands made Robby‘s heart beat again. Just like Robby himself makes Dennis‘ heart beat faster, he made it beat at all.
The entire room exhales.
“ROSC,” Mel confirms. “Let’s secure the airway and get him upstairs.”
They move fast after that, intubation, lines, just what they would do with any other patient. And finally, Robby is stabilized enough to survive the transfer.
The minute Robby was wheeled out of the room into surgery, it was like all the adrenaline, all the stress and the pure chaos of having to do CPR on your boyfriend, next to your shared colleagues who don’t even know that you are dating, finally caught up on Dennis.
He knows he needs to let the surgeons do their job now but it feels wrong to give Robby away into hands that aren’t his own, that he can’t watch every step, every cut they do on his wonderful boyfriends body.
And he also knows that he needs to get his act together and help the next patients who were impatiently waiting for their deserved treatment but he couldn’t get his feet to move.
But right now, he couldn’t keep his eyes away from the empty space where Robby just lay on a stretcher minutes ago. Or from the monitor that showed him the flatline of his love’s heartbeat, still feels Robby’s ribs breaking under pressure of his own hands. God, he desperately wanted to push the monitor away and never enter trauma bay 4 again but in reality, he didn’t move at all. Not until his legs felt too heavy to carry all this weight and he slowly slid down the wall, hugging his knees tightly to his upper body.
He found the love of his life in this place and now he might just lose him there as well.
“Whitaker.”
He looks up. Trinity was watching him, face neutral but concern showing in her eyes. “You good?”, she asks and Dennis nods automatically. “Yeah, that was a tough one but…yeah.”
"Don't bullshit me.”
“Huh?”
“Dr. Robby means a lot to all of us but Dana and Langdon, who’ve known him for a lot more years than you do, are better at keeping it together than you are right now. “
Fuck it. Robby might die anyway. He truly didn’t have any more to lose. “He’s my boyfriend, Trin. We are dating.” Fuck. Saying it out loud was supposed to feel freeing and nice but it just crushed his spirits a bit more. His boyfriend is currently fighting for his life. Not just his boss or his mentor, no. His fucking boyfriend.
There weren’t a lot of times where Dennis experienced Trinity Santos being at loss for words but this was the closest he has ever gotten to seeing his friend too stunned to speak.
„You know it’s kinda on you that we got together.“, he looked up to her and wetly smiled, tears still lingering in his eyes. „That one day in november, it was raining so heavily, you were sick and not at work so i had to take my bike home. When he saw me going out in the rain like this, he offered to drive me instead. And when I mentioned that you were sick, he thought it would be better to have dinner at his place. You know, so I don’t get infected. And then we had dinner and god, did you know Robby could cook? Because he can make the best pasta sauce I‘ve had in my life. And of course, when you have pasta you also have some wine and you know I‘m a lightweight and he kept making so many compliments about my progress and I just blushed the entire time and when he noticed that he called me cute and then I just went over and fucking kissed him. And you probably never noticed I never got home because you were out cold with a fever but yeah, I stayed over. And again, and again, and then we had fights over how inappropriate our relationship was, and then I slept over again. And now we are having the best secret dates i could‘ve dreamed of, god Trin, I‘ve never met a man like him before. I’m the youngest of 5 children, there is a lot you need to do to make me feel special but Robby does it at ease. He‘s truly the best and now I might lose him because his stubborn ass thinks driving a motorcycle is cool.“, he started crying during his confession.
Tears were rolling down his cheeks because he loved Robby so much and he made him so happy but also because he was so fucking terrified. He tried to harshly wipe his tears away with his fists but he looked like a mess anyway. His curls were all over the place, his eyes were burning red and his smile was the saddest in the world.
„Dr. Michael Robinavitch did wine and dine on you and it worked.“ Trinity concluded and slowly lowered herself to the ground, sitting shoulder to shoulder with Dennis.
It was still insane to him. That somehow, against every rule and every sensible instinct, they fell into each other anyway. And now one of them was on death’s door because he refused to take his car to work.
“He was so close, Trin. He was just 2 miles away from the hospital. 2 miles! Who crashes just 2 miles before arriving at work? This doesn’t make sense.”
“I mean, normally you also don’t die at your workplace and then get brought back to life by your scandalously younger lover.”
Dennis chuckled. “It’s not…scandalous. He’s just a little bit older.”
“Dennis, he is super old!”
“You, Trinity Santos, are the one person who does not get to judge me.”
“Shut up!”, Trinity slightly hit Dennis on his forearm, chuckling. “Yolanda is an attractive middle aged woman. Dr. Robby is geriatric.”
Dennis just smiled at her. “Thank you.”, he whispered, looking at her earnestly. “It was hard enough keeping this a secret when working together everyday. I don’t know if I would make it through the day without having someone to talk to. About how much he really means to me.”
“Don’t get too soft on me, Whitaker. But like, invite him to our place for dinner or something when he gets better. Yolanda can come too. It would be so messy and I wanna see it unfold. Maybe we should invite Mohan and Abbott too?”
He knew Trinity was saying all these things to get his mind off, to make him feel lighter. But he can’t stop thinking about the possibility that he might never get better and he never gets to show him his tiny room in Trinity’s apartment. That was the one thing Dennis was excited about the most, once they were open about their relationship. He thought about taking Robby to his place when Trinity was out for a date or something, but the risk was too big. His room wasn’t even that special but he wanted Robby to know every single thing about him so desperately, he wanted to lay his soul open in front of the other man, to get even closer. But that hasn’t been possible yet.
They talked about the day where they would stop hiding again and again. Lying together in Robby’s bed, the older man kept Dennis close to his chest, mumbling about an uncertain future. “When you’re a senior resident…then we could be open about it. I don’t want to destroy any of your career chances in trauma by everyone saying you slept your way to the top.” Robby kept saying over again, giving Dennis a smile that said “keep pushing. It will be rewarding.”
“They will say it anyway.”, Dennis mumbled, burying his face deeper into Robby’s chest. “Might as well just get it over with now. And besides, I’m doing the same job as everyone else. Sex did not give me any advantages so far.”
“You know how hospitals work, Den. They will be sooo jealous that I get to date the attractive young doctor, while they are stuck with their unhappy marriages. And when people are jealous, they start making things up to make themselves feel a little better. I want to protect you from that.”
Dennis briefly wondered if Robby had many similar experiences like this when he was dating Collins, but he never asked. He didn’t want to compare what they had to any previous relationship Robby had before.
Their moment was disturbed by the regular happenings of the emergency room as someone was screaming for a doctor. Trinity jumped up immediately, pulling Dennis up with her. “I know it’s gonna be a tough day. But you already made it through the worst part. You are a worried boyfriend but you are also a doctor. Yeah?”
And that’s the cruelty of it, really. The ER doesn’t care that your boyfriend just died and came back to life through your hands. So he nods.
Tough, he tells himself, the way Robby always does. You’re tougher than you think.
An hour later, Dennis uses a rare moment of silence to go up to the one person in this hospital who probably already knows what he is so desperate to hear.
Dana is flipping through a clipboard, her calm demeanor being disrupted by some stressful wrinkles on her forehead. When she notices Dennis creeping up to her, her expression immediately softens when she looks up to him. “Hey.”, she says gently, stroking his forearm. Everyone here probably thinks nothing about him being a bit more stressed out by the situation. They probably think he is soft like that and after all, he had to do the CPR. That’s what Dennis is hoping for, at least.
“Do you…”, his voice cracks, just slightly. He clears his throat, looks up to Dana with pleading eyes. “Do you know how he’s doing?”
“I just called my favorite nurse in the ICU, Marina.”, Dana said quietly. “She said he is intubated and sedated. Chest tube is holding. Neuro is watching him closely and they can’t say for sure if he is out of the woods yet. But the surgery was successful and they are hopeful.”
Dennis lets out the biggest breath he had ever been holding in. “Why didn’t anyone inform us?”
“Probably to not disturb your work ethic by disrupting you all the time.” Dana says with spite. “If there is anything you need, kid, don't hesitate to ask me, yeah?”.
Dana is the one who knew Robby the longest. Chances are high that she knows about them anyway. After all, she is Dana.
“I really just want to go upstairs. I want to sit with him.”
“I know.”, she says softly. “I can try to make sure you get 10 minutes with him without anyone bothering you. ICU is strictly monitored but we can make this work.”
“Dana-”, he stops himself mid-sentence. He is already dating his attending, sneaking into ICU shouldn't be much worse. He settles for the most sincere “Thank you” and Dana gives him a warm smile.
Some hours later, maybe around 1pm, Dana pulls him aside. It’s like the universe knew that their day was already hard enough, so it’s luckily an otherwise pretty quiet day.
“Marina just called, his vitals continue to be stable, stronger heartbeat than just hours ago. Neuro is sure there is no brain damage. He is still on the ventilator and the chest tube is still in. He is heavily sedated but Marina said a short visit would be okay. Because he is strong.”
Dennis nodded eagerly, already on his way to the elevator when Dana called for him again.
“And Dennis?”
“Yeah?”
“You’re good for him. It’s nice to have someone who cares like this about him. Update me when you come back please. I’ll cover in the meantime.”
The walk up to the ICU is the longest short walk Dennis ever had to take. He knows that stable is good. And he knows that Robby‘s injuries are common and the recovery rate is high. He still fears what’s going on behind room 10 in the ICU.
There, Robby lies in the hospital bed, pale against white sheets, a ventilator tube taped at the corner of his mouth. There’s a bruise blooming along his cheekbone. The chest tube emerges from his side, bandaged and secure, the collection chamber hanging quietly at the bedside.
The doctor in Dennis immediately studies the monitors. Heart rate is steady and his blood pressure is acceptable. Oxygen saturation is good, for a pneumothorax at least.
It’s nothing Dennis hasn’t seen before but still his knees almost give out on him.
It's weird seeing Robby without the easy confidence he carries everywhere else. Seeing him so still.
Dennis moves to the bedside and carefully sits down, studying Robby’s blemished face.
This is the man who taught him how to read a trauma bay at a glance. Who challenged him, pushed him, believed in him long before Dennis fully believed in himself.
Dennis reaches out and gently takes Robby’s hand, careful of the IV.
“Oh Robby,” Dennis breathes, the sound coming out of him like another sob. “You scared the hell out of me.”
He presses his thumb lightly against Robby’s knuckles, “I was thinking,” he says quietly, “this is a hell of a way to get out of your shift.”
He smiles slightly, continuing to caress the older man’s hand with his thumb. God, he always loved Robby’s big, strong hands, so rough yet always so careful they were holding him. Dennis never felt safer than with Robby’s hands around him. He hopes that right now, he can return this feeling for Robby.
“I was good,” he continues softly. “I mean… did everything right. Everything you taught me. I didn’t freeze. I didn’t screw it up. You kinda saved your own life by teaching me.”
His grip tightens, just a little bit, to ground himself and get a reminder that Robby was still there with him.
“I broke your ribs,” he whispers, tears threatening to well up again. “I’m sorry. I know you’d tell me not to apologize, but I am.”
Dennis leans forward, resting his forearms on the edge of the bed, bowing his head until his forehead nearly touches Robby’s hand.
“I don’t know how this happened,” he murmurs. “One day I was just trying not to embarrass myself in front of the chief of the E.R., and now I’m sitting here hoping you wake up so I can yell at you for driving a goddamn motorcycle.”His throat tightens. He breathes through it. “It’s nothing but a miracle that there isn’t any brain bleeding. Who drives with a helmet you idiot.” Dennis grins when he thinks about the look Robby usually gives him when they have this discussion.
“I don’t know how I’m supposed to go back down there and act like this didn’t almost kill me as well.”
Dennis lifts his head again, tears streaming down his face again.
“But you’re alive,” he says firmly. “You’re still here. And when you wake up I’ll tell you every single day from now how much I love you. Even if it’s in front of everyone from the team. I couldn’t care less about my career or the gossip right now, I only care about you.”
He squeezes Robby’s hand again, careful of the lines.
“You don’t get to leave me,” Dennis tells him, voice wobbly but determined. “Not like this.”
There’s a soft knock at the door.
Dennis straightens immediately, going back from the worried boyfriend to a coworker who is checking on his mentor.
A nurse peeks in. “I’m sorry,” she says quietly. “I need to check his vitals.”
Dennis nods. “Of course.”
He stands, reluctantly, stepping back to give her room. Before he lets go, he brushes his thumb once more over Robby’s knuckles.
“I’ll be downstairs,” he says softly, hoping the nurse can’t hear him. “Get better.”
It was a miracle that Dennis was able to finish his shift without any other incidents. Dana officially informed the rest of the team on Robby’s condition and while it was still a shock for most of them, they all left at 9pm because there was nothing they could do right now. Dennis did sneak into his room again, just sitting by his side for a few minutes, abusing his power as a doctor by not having to care about ICU visiting hours.
Nothing really changed. He was still sedated but he overheard one of the nurses saying that he will probably be stable enough to slow down the sedation in the morning.
He made sure no one was looking, when he gave Robby a quick, yet soft kiss on the forehead, trying not to touch the stitches on his temple.
At home, he cried the entire night. He was exhausted to the core but everytime he closed his eyes he saw Robby’s lifeless body under his hands. But not sleeping was a price he was willing to pay if it meant knowing Robby would somehow be okay.
Morning comes and Dennis enters the hospital at 6am sharp, going straight towards the ICU. The nurses give him a look but no one dares to say a thing. Maybe the rumor about him being Dr. Robby’s favorite already made its way up to the other floors.
He doesn’t look too different from the night before but there is something that is catching his attention.
Robby’s fingers twitch! Dennis is by Robby’s bedside at lightning speed, nearly tripping over the chair next to the bed.
There is another twitch, way clearer this time.
“Robby?” Dennis whispers, so carefully, as if he was too loud, Robby would stop moving again. He strikes out his hand and covers his smaller hand on Robby’s.
And there it is. A faint squeeze. It’s weak and uncoordinated but definitely intentional.
Dennis’s vision blurs instantly, eyes getting wet for what feels like the 200th time in the past 24 hours.
“Oh my god,” he breathes, voice cracking. “I’ve got you, love.”
The nurse at the desk must notice the change because she’s suddenly at the door, peering in. Dennis lifts his head, eyes bright.
“He squeezed my hand,” Dennis says, barely containing it. “He’s waking up.”
She nods, already moving. “Let me grab the doc.”
Robby doesn’t open his eyes. Not yet. But his brow furrows slightly, like when he’s trying to focus on reading a book in bed, even though he is about to fall asleep. Dennis leans closer, bringing his mouth near Robby’s ear.
“You’re safe. I’m right here.”
Another faint squeeze.
Dennis laughs softly through the tears he refuses to let fall. “Of course you need to set a record for waking up the fastest after a heavy sedation. I thought I had some time to get changed and come back at 9pm before you wake up.”
Suddenly footsteps approach and the ICU attending, Dr. Carson walks in, but Dennis barely registers him. His entire world has narrowed down to Robby.
Robby’s brow furrows deeper, lashes fluttering like he’s trying to remember how to open his eyes. Dennis leans in closer, his free hand hovering over Robby’s arm because he doesn’t know where it’s okay to touch anymore.
“You’re doing great,” Dennis murmurs, the way Robby has said to him a hundred times during long nights and bad cases. “You don’t have to rush. You scared everyone enough already.”
Robby’s fingers curl around Dennis' hand, like they did a thousand times before.
Dennis lets out a laugh that’s halfway getting choked up into a sob. “I could recognize the way you hold my hand with my eyes closed.”
And then, finally, Robby’s eyes crack open.
They’re unfocused at first, glassy and confused, drifting around the room. Dennis feels his chest aches. He’s seen this look several times on patients. He never imagined seeing it on him.
“Hey,” Dennis says quickly, trying to ground Robby. “Hey, look at me. It’s Dennis. You’re okay.”
It takes a few seconds. Then Robby’s gaze stutters and finds him.
Robby’s grip tightens.
“Oh,” Dennis breathes, smiling through tears now. “There you are. Hi.”
Robby can’t speak yet, not with the tube, but his eyes soften immediately. There’s confusion and pain and exhaustion but there is still that warm and familiar look in Robby’s dark eyes.
Dennis leans closer, dropping his forehead gently against Robby’s hand.
“I know,” he says quietly. “I know. You’re in the ICU. You were in an accident. You’re safe. You coded, but you came back. You don’t have to worry about anything right now. I’ve got you.”
Robby blinks slowly. Once. Twice.
His thumb brushes faintly against Dennis’s knuckles.
That does it for Dennis. Fuck everyone who’s currently starring at him.
Dennis bows his head, pressing a kiss to the back of Robby’s hand.
Dr. Carson clears his throat, visibility confused by the scene playing out in front of him. “Looks like he’s waking up nicely. We’ll let him settle, then assess for extubation later if he keeps this up.”
Dennis nods, not really focusing on anything but Robby right now.
“You did so good,” he whispers. “I’m so proud of you.”
Robby’s gaze never leaves his, his fingers continuing to give more weak squeezes.
Dennis shifts closer, careful of the IV lines and tubes, and keeps talking to his boyfriend. Soft nonsense and reassurance. He will wait with the heavier talks they also need to be having for when Robby is more coherent. Right now, it’s enough for him to sit there and hold a hand that’s getting a squeeze back.
It’s the 19th of May when Dennis finally hears Robby’s voice again.
As always, he goes up there before his shift, talking to Robby about the last shift, some anecdotes from the farm, and how much he loves him. There is not much Robby can do but being able to hold his hand properly is enough for Dennis, for now.
It’s not until Dr. Carson comes in just after 6:30am to tell them that they want to take Robby off the vent.
Dennis nearly forgets how to breathe. “Today?”
“If he tolerates it. His vitals look good. We will see how he does.”
Dennis looks down at Robby, whose eyes flick between the two of them.
“You hear that?” he murmurs, grinning “You’ve been showing off.”
Robby’s lips twitch faintly around the tube.
“Robby,” he says softly. “I’m going to hold your hand. They’re going to take the tube out. It’ll be uncomfortable, but it’ll be fast.”
Robby squeezes his hand once. Ready.
The tube comes out in one smooth motion. Robby coughs immediately, harsh and wet, face twisting as his body reclaims itself. Dennis doesn’t let go for a second, rubbing slow circles into his skin.
“Easy,” he murmurs. “That’s it. You’re okay. Cough it out.”
After a few rough seconds, Robby’s breathing evens. Oxygen cannula replaces the ventilator. The room feels suddenly quieter, like the danger has stepped back a few feet.
Robby swallows, throat working painfully.
“Dennis,” he croaks.
It’s hoarse and kinda does not sound like Robby’s voice but it's still unmistakable his voice.
Dennis laughs and cries at the same time. “Yeah,” he says, instantly leaning closer. “Yeah, I’m here.”
Robby blinks up at him, eyes glassy but clear. “You look terrible.”
Dennis snorts. “Still so charming.”
That earns him a weak smile from Robby. It’s weak but it’s the first time that he sees it without a tube in between it in 4 long days.
Dr. Carson clears his throat gently. “He’ll be sore and his throat will hurt. Welcome back, Dr. Robby. Don't overdo it.”
They are both nodding, not really interested in medical facts they already know. How could they focus on anyone else but each other?
“You saved me,” Robby rasps.
Dennis shakes his head immediately. “Nope. Not doing that conversation right now. We all did and you were fighting so hard. For now I’m just glad to have you back.”
They give Robby a few sips of water later. Ice chips. Pain meds carefully adjusted so he’s comfortable but still awake. The chest tube stays—for now—but everything is moving in the right direction.
By the time the clock hits 6:45 a.m., Dennis slowly starts getting up.
“I have to go downstairs,” he says softly. “Just for work. You know the 7am shift you kept missing the past few days. I’ll come back whenever I can.”
Robby frowns faintly. “Did you sleep the past few days?” That was Robby. Half dead in a hospital bed with a punctured lung but still worried about Dennis' bloodshot eyes. He loved this man so much.
“You know I barely even get enough sleep when everything is fine. I will survive.”
Robby looks at him, then nods. “Go then,” he murmurs. “I’ll still be here.”
Dennis smiles, bright and tired but full of love. He presses a quick kiss on Robby’s chapped lips before moving towards the door.
“I love you,” he says, without fear, for the first time in days..
Robby’s lips turn into a wide smile. “I love you too.”