Work Text:
There’s a stillness in the air when Jean closes the front door. It presses in on him from all sides, something heavy and dark that makes the hair stand up on the back of his neck. “Reiner?” He tosses his keys into the bowl nearby and frowns. There are no paws running to greet him either. “Boots? Ghost?” He clicks his tongue, but the silence presses down harder when he gets no response. His jacket hits the floor as he hastens for the master bedroom.
The blackout curtains are fixed firmly in place, not a drop of light spilling into the room. He gently presses the light dimmer and turns it all the way down, frowning at the unmoving lump in the bed. “Babe…?” His heartbeat locks in his throat as he hurries over and kneels down. Reiner’s eyes are closed, but his eyes are moving too fast beneath his eyelids. “Reiner.” He repeats, gentle but firm. Before he can consider reaching a hand out, dull golden eyes snap open and Reiner’s breath hitches.
“J…Jean?” He rasps, licking his cracked lips.
“Hey. Yeah, I’m here. I'm going to touch you now, okay?” He waits for the nod of consent before he reaches over, carefully cradling Reiner’s cheeks between his palms. “Hey,” he whispers as he soothingly strokes his index fingers down Reiner’s cheek. “Hey, honey. I’m home. It was just a bad dream.”
“When did you get home?” Reiner’s brow furrows and Jean gently smoothes over the crease with the pad of a finger.
“A couple of minutes ago.” A soft purring noise catches his attention and he drops one hand, slowly peeling the covers back. A snowy white head blinks up at him, pale blue eyes watching him. Ghost has tucked herself into the crook of Reiner’s arm, somehow wriggling her small body between his arm and his chest so she’s purring right up against his heart. He knows if he looks lower, he’ll find Boots stretched out from Reiner’s hip to his knee. “Give me a second to change and I’ll come climb into bed. Yeah?”
“Sure.” Reiner’s eyes flutter shut again. With a quiet hum, he sinks back down against his pillow and Jean slips his hands free. He readjusts the covers around Reiner’s chin and kisses his forehead before getting back up and heading into the bathroom. Stripping down to his boxers, he splashes water on his face a few times and then fills the water bottle that’s sitting on the sink. At least Reiner used it today. He sets it on the nightstand next to Reiner and quietly goes over to their dresser, slipping out a tank top to pull on. “Wait.” Reiner’s voice scratches from his throat and Jean carefully shuts the drawer. “I…I want…”
“It’s okay,” Jean soothes. “Skin. I got you.” He smiles softly back at the lump in the bed and then glances back at the dresser. Reiner’s med box for today is half empty, the PM pills still right where they’re supposed to be. “When’s the last time you ate?”
“Noon. Finished the sandwich you made me.” The sheets rustle faintly. When he turns around again, Reiner’s facing the middle of the bed and the sheets have been pulled back for him.
“Good. I put in an order for Thai for dinner on the way here, it should arrive in the next half hour.” Stretching himself up, he grunts and pops both shoulders before climbing into bed. Ghost blinks at him, still nestled against Reiner’s chest, and dark green eyes peer up at him from Reiner’s hip where they’re peeking out of the sheets. “If you put those claws in me, you’re dead.” Jean warns, pressing close and easing a thigh between Reiner’s legs. As Reiner curls into him, the weight on his hip shifts halfway into Jean’s and he smiles. Purring resumes against Reiner’s chest only now it spreads through Jean’s own.
“How was work?” Reiner’s fingers stroke Jean’s bicep and he hums, resting his head on Reiner’s as he wraps an arm around his lower back.
“Too many meetings. Glad to be home.” He says honestly. “How was today?”
“Rough.” Reiner admits.
“Doc said it might take a few more days for the meds to kick in. Feel any different?” He brings his free hand up, carefully brushing back Reiner’s hair from his forehead.
“Thoughts aren’t too bad. Mostly been tired.” Lips brush over his collarbone.
“Nightmares still happening?”
“Kind of. It’s more…this feeling, I guess. If it is a nightmare, I don’t remember it.” Reiner shifts and his breath gently fans over Jean’s bare chest. The covers are pulled up over them and Jean hums, burying his nose down against Reiner’s hair that still smells like his shampoo from this morning. “Thank you.”
“For what?” He traces idle shapes in the small of Reiner’s back and feels Reiner’s body shake from an unreleased laugh.
“Being here. Makes days like today easier.”
“Promised you I’m always going to be here. Fuck the last guy.” The words are a quiet growl and this time Reiner audibly chuckles.
“He could never hold a candle to you.” Reiner murmurs, brushing his fingers down Jean’s arm until they’re palm to palm. “You really ordered Thai for dinner?”
“Of course. It’s your favorite.” Jean kisses his hair and traces a finger around the shell of Reiner’s ear. “I would have come home today if you called me.” Due to his adjusting to the new meds, they’d both agreed that Reiner should take the day off work to try and rest and see how he felt by the end of the day after a groggy weekend. Jean hates to see him like this, but he hopes there’s a light at the end of the tunnel. Even if Reiner can’t see it yet.
“I know.” Reiner sighs softly. “It wasn’t so bad until after lunch. I really was just…tired.”
“I don’t doubt you.” Jean promises quickly. “This is just a reminder.”
“I don’t think I’ll ever forget you’re here for me.” Reiner shifts a hand between them and gently taps against his own chest, directly over the ink that’s mirrored on Jean’s skin. An oath. “Fuck. I’m so tired.” He mutters, rolling back and dragging his hand over his face. “Feel like I’m wasting all my damn time sleeping right now.”
“Not a waste. Your body is adjusting.” Jean reminds him patiently, sliding an arm under his head as he watches his partner. “Do you want to move to the living room and put on a movie?”
“I can’t promise I’ll stay awake for the ending.” Reiner tilts his head and blinks slowly at him a few times. “Can we make a nest?”
“How about you stay here and I’ll make it?” Jean offers. Sitting up, he scoops Boots up and ignores his mewl of protest as he slings the cat around the back of his neck. “I refilled your water bottle. Drink some of that and come join me when you’re ready.”
“I can help.”
“You can after you drink your water.”
“What are you, my mom?”
“Keep sassing me and see what happens.” Grinning, Jean gets to his feet before Reiner can swat at him. “Bring the pillows when you come. I’m grabbing the blankets from the spare room.”
“Yes, mom.” Reiner tosses him a mock salute and Jean flips him off. Curling his fingers around the head of the black cat now draped over his shoulders like a cape, he retreats to the second bedroom to gather what they need for a quiet night in.
By the time he’s covered their couch in blankets and pillows, Reiner has emerged. Ghost is cradled against his chest, no doubt purring up a storm, and Jean smiles fondly at the sight. She’d barely been the size of a teacup when they’d found her in a storm and he can still remember golden eyes silently pleading with him to take pity. She’d been a welcome addition to their quiet home. Boots, her brother, had appeared on their porch one morning and never left. For the first two weeks, the only place he’d wanted to sleep was inside Reiner’s work boots. The name had stuck.
“Food should be here any minute.” Jean says, checking his phone. “How are you feeling?”
“A little more alert. Went ahead and took my meds.” Reiner’s brow furrows as he looks down and sees his armful of cat. “Oh. I think I left my water bottle.”
“I’ll get it.” He kisses his husband’s forehead on the way out of the room. He’s barely picked it up when there’s a knock on the door.
“On it,” Reiner tells him. Jean makes it in time to see him fishing money for a tip from his wallet at the door and hands it over to a slightly flustered looking delivery girl. Her blush deepens and she scurries away leaving him frowning at her retreat. “Something I said?” He closes the door and Jean chuckles, stepping up behind him and wrapping his arms around his waist.
“You’re too damn gorgeous.” He kisses the soft spot behind Reiner’s ear and nuzzles there. “Go pick a movie. I’ll grab plates.”
“Good idea.” Turning his head, Reiner plants a chaste kiss on his lips and relinquishes the bag of food in exchange for his water.
There’s a random action movie frozen onscreen by the time Jean’s got everything split over two plates. Reiner lifts the edge of the covers and he slides under them, setting one in Reiner’s lap and the second in his own. Ghost blinks up at them from the floor and Boots, now perched on the cat tree, mewls pitifully. “Don’t look at me like that,” Jean scolds. “You don’t get fed for another half hour.”
“You always say that and still they ignore you.” Reiner cracks a grin and Jean huffs, wondering if he’s going to have to fend off Ghost or her brother tonight. Despite his most valiant efforts, the assholes refuse to leave him in peace while he eats. It definitely doesn’t help that Reiner sneaks them scraps when he thinks Jean isn’t looking.
“Shut up and eat your damn food.” He grumbles. Chuckling, Reiner does as told and Jean tries not to slump with relief as the balloon of anxiety pops in his chest. If Reiner can still laugh, things are already looking up. The last round of meds had stolen that from him, turning him into a mindless zombie that had barely been able to function. Jean had all but dragged him to his psychiatrist, demanding a change before he had to see Reiner completely disappear right in front of him.
Now, with new meds and a new psychiatrist, Jean’s hopeful again. Things aren’t perfect. Reiner’s depression is always going to be a present fixture in their lives. But, he thinks as he glances at his husband, it’s a storm they’ll continue to navigate together. As Reiner laughs again at a dumb pickup line used by the main character, Jean takes a deep breath and lets his attention slide to the screen. When Reiner’s knee nudges against his own under the pile of blankets, he looks over and raises an eyebrow. “Stop worrying.” Reiner says, eyes still fixed on the screen. “I told you this isn’t the same.”
“I know.”
“So trust me like you always do. Honesty, right?”
“I do trust you.” He remembers the phone call where Reiner’s breath had rattled across the line and he’d admitted that he wanted to do something permanent. Jean’s throat tightens from the memory and Reiner presses his knee more insistently into him. He’s shaken loose and nods his head, flexing his fingers around the corner of his plate. It takes a moment for him to smile, but when he does Reiner returns it and looks at ease again. His husband returns to his dinner, but a single word is spoken and ricochets in the space between them. It lands solidly against his ribcage.
“Breathe."
Jean exhales.