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It ate at her, and Morgan didn't like things eating at her. Of course, she also didn't like to talk about when she'd done something stupid, but if she was going to have to pick between the two she'd definitely go with the latter. Especially with Adam, who'd seen a lot of the stupid things she'd done – at least the more recent ones – and was still willing to quit his job for her.
Besides, once they got back to the station they'd have to be too careful to even have this conversation, not to mention the whole needing to focus on the murder thing.
She let out a breath, looking over at him. "I'm sorry for freaking out back there."
His eyes were gentle as he glanced at her. "You thought you were going to die. It happens."
She narrowed her eyes at him, annoyed she had to explain. "I don't freak out, even when I think I'm going to die. I was held hostage, with my daughter, and didn't freak out that badly!"
There wasn't a flicker of surprise in his expression. "You didn't secretly feel responsible for the hostage situation."
The words knocked the air out of her lungs, annoyance vanishing like it had never been there. She didn't think anyone had ever understood her as well as Morgan seemed to. "That's exactly what happened." She squeezed her eyes shut. "I'd missed something, and the fact that I hadn't put the pieces together in time was going to get us both killed."
She mostly did a decent job fighting off the "You're a failure" brain demons, but this would have been a failure to end all failures. The only worse mistake than getting Adam killed would be getting one of her kids killed. Even if she somehow survived it, there would be no coming back from that.
And no, it hadn't happened. But it didn't change the fact that, in that moment, she'd seen that possibility clear as day. Then promptly lost her shit over it, which hadn't exactly helped the—
Adam's voice cut through the thought spiral. "First off, we'd missed something. If anyone's responsible for that little scare back there, it was both of us. Second, we both have people backing us up who help us out when we miss things, including entire teams of people who have skills that neither of us do." His tone stayed just as even as before, but there was the barest hint of steel underneath it.
When he gentled it again, it felt like a hug. "Third, you never need to apologize for freaking out in front of me, no matter what the reason. That's what partners do – watch each other's backs. You'd do the same thing for me if I needed it."
She swallowed, throat tight. "You wouldn't freak out. You'd get more and more tense until I was worried you'd snap a muscle, and I'd finally drag you off to somewhere private and force you to talk to me about it."
His sudden smile warmed the whole car up. "Exactly."
Oh.
A word rose up in Morgan's throat, one that she'd definitely thought about in relation to Adam Karadec but hadn't planned on saying for a good long while. Not that it would even be a surprise – they'd both already said what basically amounted to long-term commitments to each other – but she'd wanted to hold something back. Let herself wait to partition out at least one part of all this until she felt like she was ready. And besides, thanks to her realization and Daphne's excellent digging they were less than an hour away from wrapping up this murder. It really wasn't the time.
But Adam never seemed to hold anything back from her. He deserved someone brave enough to treat him the same way.
Morgan took a deep breath, eyes fixed firmly on his face. "I know this is a terrible time for this, but I love you." She swallowed, voice rough as she tried to clarify. It had been a long time since she'd said this to a guy. "I'm in love with you. Both."
Adam went very still, his face immediately sliding to "I'm keeping all my emotions in a death grip" as his hands tightened on the steering wheel. None of this changed as he waited until he could pull over, but the tears that pricked Morgan's eyes as she waited with him were only happy. She knew him well enough not to be worried.
The minute he knew it was safe, he turned off the car, and lunged across the distance between them for a kiss, it didn't exactly work, since he'd forgotten he was belted in, but Morgan had unbuckled herself early and helped him out just in time to practically crawl into his lap. He just pulled her close, kissing her like it was his only mission in life, and she let herself get lost in it as she kissed him back with everything she had. How could she be afraid, when Adam kept rewarding her bravery with wonders like this?
When they broke apart, he stared deep into her eyes. "I love you." His voice was a rasp. "And I'm in love with you. Both."
She squeezed her eyes shut, the tears slipping out as she leaned her forehead against his. "That's really good to hear." She swallowed. "We should definitely come back to this when we don't have a murder to wrap up."
"Yeah." He lifted a hand to cradle her cheek, thumb stroking gently. "But we don't have to go just yet."
When he pulled her into another kiss, she happily gave in.