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Angela looked up from her chemistry set, working from the coffee table that day as she heard the front door open, then slam shut. A few seconds later Fareeha walked into the living room, carrying a handful of envelopes.
"Get any good mail today?" Mercy asked absentmindedly, more focused on some quivering flesh in a petri dish. Fareeha tossed the bills on the table, frustrated. One landed right on Angela's experiment. "HEY!" The doctor quickly moved the mail, gently prodding the crime against nature with a gloved hand. "This shit is delicate, watch what you're doing!"
"And what, exactly, are you doing? Is that thing.....alive?" Fareeha laughed lightly at her own insane question, there was no way that blob of pink was a living being. Unless it was. Pharah quickly stopped laughing and stepped as far away as she could without leaving the room.
"Just a side venture. Organs are valuable. Let's see what came in the mail~" Angela ripped off her rubber gloves and picked up the first of many envelopes. "Water bill, electric bill, internet....Why would all these bills come at the same time? It's like when a bunch of professors schedule exams on the same day, I swear..." Mercy paused for a second before sliding a green test tube out from its stand on the table. "Well, a bit of carbonic acid will fix things. We'll claim they got lost in the mail~"
"....Babe." Fareeha took a step closer, reassured that Angela's experiment wasn't a sentient being. "I don't think that would solve anything. Aren't you a famous medical scientist? You should have plenty of money. We both know my cruddy desk job isn't enough to pay all this."
"It's the principal of the thing...also my P.R. manager said I should keep grants and donations focused on their actual purpose. That's why I'm growing produce. I'll buy him a car later and get him to shut up, but for right now I shouldn't make him upset." Angela shrugged, but Fareeha was just relieved she wasn't going to make his wife go missing or anything.
"Wellllll......We could...ya'know.." Pharah rotated her wrists, trying to suggest her plan without actually saying it.
"Sell produce." Mercy nodded as she held up the purple-ish looking meat. Probably a liver. Fareeha shook her head immediately.
"Please, no. Stop calling it that. Ugh. I was going to say we should ask Hana, alright. Just ask Hana. You always make everything so extreme."
"Extreme as in BMX or extreme as in Jackass?" Angela raised a brow as she started cleaning up the coffee table, slipping the organ into an icebox as the rest of her equipment was stuffed into a box.
"I don't..I don't know. Don't ask me that. I'm still too disturbed to think right. Let's just go upstairs. Why would you do that in the living room. You have a lab. Jesus."
The pair walked upstairs, Angela making a quick stop inside her lab, which didn't do any good for Pharah's uncomfortableness from the sight downstairs. A few seconds later, Fareeha knocked on the door to Hana's room. "Hana? You free to talk?" She cracked open the door, Angela right behind.
The couple was blasted with heavy bass as they opened the door, watching before their eyes Hana raving to the music in a business suit and sunglasses. It was two minutes before the music quieted down enough for Fareeha to make her voice heard. "Uh....Hana?"
D.va whipped around, lowering her sunglasses, looking over them at her parents, her cheeks turning red. "How long have you been here?" Fareeha looked back at her wife to double-check.
"Most of it?"
"Yeah, definitely most of it."
"Okay." Pharah nodded before turning back to her daughter. "Most of it."
"What..I..What the fuck." Hana glanced at her open laptop before crossing her arms. "I'm kinda busy right now, what do you want?"
"Well, your mother and I just wanted to talk." Angela smiled, stepping forward and sitting on the bed.
"Don't sit down."
"That's right. Just a small conversation." Fareeha agreed as she closed the door, leaning against it.
"Don't close the door."
"Oh, wait! Are you doing one of your streams?! I want to watch!" Angela clapped, smiling with motherly love as her daughter stared at her in embarrassment. "Carry on with whatever you were doing, don't mind us!"
".......One sec." Hana spun around, jamming an apology into the chat box of her stream, among all the followers talking about the guest appearance of her parents. "Okay. What do you want?"
"Well, we were going to ask you for money, but now I think I'd rather be a part of your show!" Angela grinned, saying the things her spouse was too stoic to.
"....I am kind of interested, yes." Fareeha looked at the laptop from the door, rubbing her chin.
"Ohmygod fuck me. Fine, whatever. Just. Look at the camera properly." Hana sighed as she resigned herself, fixing her sunglasses before turning back to her computer. "Hey guys! Sorry for the interruption but we're ready to continue with D.va's 200 million subscriber special~! Today I have with me....as a surprise guest. My parents! Say hi, mom."
"Oh this is adorable! Hello!" Angela could barely contain herself as she waved, excited. Fareeha gave her hand a small raise from where she was standing, trying to look cool.
".....Lame." Hana muttered under her breath. "Alright, folks! The Team Fortress two stream will continue in a few hours, but until then, I'm going to hand it over to Dieter! Give it up for the rabbit!" Hana reached under her desk, retrieving the hare from who knows where and setting it on the keyboard. "Alright, you two. Out. Out. Outside, now, let's go. Out." Hana opened the door, ushering her moms into the hallway.
"Aweew, I was having so much fun though." Angela pouted as Hana shut the door, cornering them in the hallway.
"What do you guys want? It was money, right? Okay, here." D.va dug around in one of the inside pockets of her business suit, pulling out a fat roll of cash. "Here. Now leave me alone. Next thing I know they're going to be asking for you guys to appear again.”
"I was having a great time, if I’m being honest." Fareeha gently took the money, stuffing it inside her pocket. "Also, been meaning to ask, but why are you wearing my suit?"
"200 million subscriber special. I got to live up to the internet's expectations, homeslice."
"I hear you on that" Angela gave their daughter a fistbump. "Damn scientific community always breathing down my neck."
"Well, thanks for the help, Hana. McDonald’s later?" Fareeha smiled as she ruffled D.va's hair.
"Yeah! Also, why did you guys need cash? Is everything okay? I can get you a couple million with a few donation buttons."
"Aw, nah, it's not that serious. But thank you." Fareeha gave her a reassuring slap on the back before elbowing Mercy in the ribs. "Doc here just has her salary backed up due to some controversy or somesuch. Don't worry about it."
Hana stared up at the two competent adults, feeling quite small compared to the problems they had to face everyday. She tugged at the sleeves of her suitcoat. "Uh...If you want, you can come back inside.....I guess...."
"Aw, hell yeah!" Angela pumped her fist in celebration as they followed Hana back into the room. Sitting side by side on the bed, Mercy held Dieter in her lap as Hana set things back on track.
"Alright, folks, welcome back. Hope you enjoyed Dieter time. Anyway, got my parents on the show, so if you want to ask them a question do it now."
"Oh!" Angela raised a brow as she looked at the words speeding through the chat box. "Are those your fans talking? I can't quite read them." Hana held her back as she tried to lean over her shoulder.
"Mom, please, there is some terrible shit in here just sit back down. Ahem." D.va glanced at the hundreds of messages per second, picking one at random. "Looks like we got our first question. How long you guys been married? "
Fareeha pursed her lips as she quietly entangled her hand with Mercy's, linking their fingers. "I think it's....been four years? Or close to that."
"Our four year anniversary is coming up soon~" The doctor smiled as she pressed Pharah's hand to her check. "We've never been more in love!"
"Gross. Alright, next question. Is Hana wearing your suit? Dude. Snitch."
Fareeha paused, assuming the answer was obvious. "Yes?"
"This is so much fun~" Ziegler giggled, cuddling up closer to Fareeha.
"Mom, please. Next question...uhhh.." Hana scrolled through the ever expanding stream of messages for something she could actually say with a straight face. " Where did Dieter come from? "
"Oh my god. Okay." Fareeha set her hand on the bed with an air of finality. "So i'm just going about my day, right? Business as usual. Then your mother comes home with a snowshoe hare she caught while she was out photographing the snow or whatever. A wild rabbit! And then she insisted we keep it!"
"Best decision of my life." Angela grinned as she scratched Dieter behind the ears.
"Catching that rabbit was a better decision than marrying me?"
"Alright, next question!" Hana laughed awkwardly, trying to defuse the situation before an argument broke out. ""Uh.... How are you two so cute? Okay, seriously? C'mon, guys." Hana pinched the bridge of her nose as her moms blushed in the background. "Don't answer that. Uh. How did you two meet? Much better, thank you." Hana gave the camera a tired thumbs up.
"Oh, well. I was in the military at the time. I met Angela overseas while she was stationed there as a doctor. She wasn't medical personnel, I never quite knew what she was doing there, to be frank. But i'm glad she was there." Fareeha ended her sentence with a kiss on her partner's cheek.
"I had a freelance medical department at the time, researching some of the diseases you can’t find in other parts of the world. And then one day, this beat up soldier stumbles into my workplace, a bullet in her shin! I had to do something."
" 'Had to do something' yeah right, and then you wouldn't let me return to my division for a few weeks. I was fine."
"You had a bullet. In your shin. A bullet . Whatever. Do your fans want to know anything else, sweetie~?"
"No, no. I..I think we're done here." Hana smiled as she blocked the computer screens, nine out of every ten questions being about the bedroom. "Thanks for stopping by!"
"Be sure to come down for dinner in a few, sweetie~" Angela kissed her daughter's cheek before leaving the room, holding the door open for Pharah; who was busy messing her child’s hair before following. Hana let out a long sigh as the door closed.
"So, two things. Number one. Fuck you guys. Number two. Let's get to playing Team Fortress two. In an hour. I dont want to be late for dinner. Catch y'all on the fip, D.va out." The stream clicked close with the press of the mouse, Hana stretching and relaxing as she finally took a break. She could smell dinner cooking downstairs, and after taking off the suit coat she went to join her family for supper, the door creaking close behind her. When she got back, the internet was on fire about her parent’s past. She gave it a look before ignoring it all, streaming Team Fortress two instead. “Fuck ya’ll, my parents are not answering anymore questions….for a while.”