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Okay, Jude.. Deep breaths.. Don't.. Just don't freak out over this.. It's totally okay. The wedding is only three days away and you can totally fix this.
"Jude.." Maddie's voice sounds on the verge of breaking as she keeps stuttering.
"I-- I tried to c-change it but I've lost the receipt and--"
"Tell me one just thing Madeline."
I watch her close her eyes as she inhales sharply through her nose.
I take hold of the jacket, lifting it up with my thumb and index, the hatred growing wider across my features.
"Does this look royal blue to you?"
She doesn't reply. She just looks at me with those big frigthened eyes.
“No..” She shakes her head as she keeps looking at her feet, unable to look at me.
"This is fucking prussian blue, Madeline!"
"I'll fix it."
then the vomit of words wouldn't stop slipping out of my mouth so I go on and on with my rant.
"I asked for royal blue suit and It has to be Royal blue! What the fuck do I do with something that's not royal blue?!"
She nods as she sighs, before take the suit and its cover out of my hands and when she turns her back towards me, heading towards the front door without even saying a word.. then the guilt starts creeping through me, hitting me square in the chest.
“Wait.”
She turns around with the expression of someone who has just rolled her eyes, a frustrated frown flashing across her features.
“What?”
"Fix this.." And then, realizing that maybe I've been to harsh on her, just line on the rest of the minions.. "Please, Maddie, please fix this."
"I will, J." She says with a soft smile that makes me feel like a epic asshole right now..
"I didn't--"
I'm not used to this..
"You can all go to the beach house--"
"The one in Santa Monica?" I give her a nod and a bright smile breaks on her face as she gives a loud shriek, her hands covering her mouth.
"Are you serious?"
"Yes." I tell her. " You have worked hard.. I couldn't make it without you gals.."
And it's true.
Maddie, Taylor and Connor's cousin Kiara, one of the latest member of my crew, worked day and night, helping with every detail of this wedding so I guess, they deserve some rest while we're on our honeymoon.. Which, I'm really looking forward to by the way.
Two weeks away at Paradise island Resort located in North Male Atoll' with my gorgeous husband. I can't possibly refrain the sigh escaping my lips everytime the thought crosses my mind.
"But now, fix this mess."
"I will, I will, I will!" She chirps with bright voice before leaving a kiss on my cheek.
"We won't let you down, J. "
"You better.."
As soon as Maddie leaves, my phone rings and I feel a warm glow inside when Connor's face appears on the screen.
"I miss you! "
He laughs and he's beautiful.. Now that he's on a damn working meeting in Los Angeles, just three days before our wedding, I feel the need to have him here With me, Being the only one able to calm down the raging storm of nerves.
"Hello to you too."
"When are you coming back?"
Straight to the point, isn't it..
He makes a suffering sound as he tells me.
"You know when.. I'm sorry baby."
"B-But you're coming back the day just before our wedding and I can't even see you.."
I'm not even ashamed of how needy and unreasonable I am being in this exact moment.
"I'm sorry, Jude."
The sadness flashing across his eyes gives me a physical pain settling in my chest.
"It's okay.."
It's not really but..
"I can't wait to see you."
This is the truth, and that's what matter the most, especially when he smiles at me like that so bright and happy that makes me want to raise a hand and touch it even though I know I'd be touching the cold screen..
My finger makes contact with the phone's screen and he closes his eyes, shifting a bit just like he's leaning into my touch, like I'm physically touching him. The sight hits me like a kick in the stomach.
"Connor?"
He opens his eyes, looking right at me.
"Yes?"
I smile and I'm relieved to see that he's smiling too.
"Can you believe we're getting married?"
"No." He says, his eyes starts getting glossy as he gives a nervous laugh.
"It still seems unreal to me."
"I feel the same." I tell him. "But.. Then, I get to wake up next to you every morning and it's like a reminder that this isn't a dream.. infact It's a thousand times better than a dream."
He looks at me agape with eyes blown wide, his bottom lip trembles like he's trying to refrain a laugh.
"Don't fucking dare, Stevens."
He bits his lip as he shrugs his shoulders.
"Wow.. That was--"
"Are you seriously laughing right now?!"
"I-- I'm sorry, baby.. It's just.." He gives a lovely giggle as he says.
"That was pretty intense. I.. Have to say, I'm fascinated by this side of you."
The asshole is smirking..
"You know, Wedding vibes and all that shit.. That's probably gonna disappear after the wedding.."
he nods his head as he counters.
"Of course my love."
He laughs happily as he shakes his head in amusement.
"Consider this a one time thing."
"I definitely will."
"Okay."
"Okay." He repeats my exact same word and then I catch him staring at me with intense gaze, his bottom lip being dragged across his teeth and a very naughty light sparkling in his eyes.
"What?"
"What are you wearing right now?"
My mouth falls open in dismay at the question leaving his lips.
"Are you trying to have phone sex with me?"
"Well.." He shrugs cooly with a --fake-- innocent edge in his voice.
"It's been a while since.." And then he slowly moves his hand downwards as to..
"Connor Stevens, I told you."
He groans in frustration as he gives me a deadpan glare.
"I'm telling you.. This celibacy thing is bullshit."
"You're just saying that because you're horny."
"How I'm supposed to not Get all worked up when you look like that?"
I can't hold back the wave of laughter escaping my lips at that question, my eyes are drawn to my outfit.
"I'm wearing a hoodie and sweat pants, for God sake.."
"You oozes sex from every pore."
"Yeah sure."
We both sober up and after ten seconds, yes I've counted, staring into each other's eyes with dumb smile on our faces, I hear Doroty coming back home.
"I have to go."
"Okay." He smiles. "I'll see you at the altar."
"If I show up." I decide to remind him.
"Don't bail on me."
"I'll do my best."
His smile gets wider and it mirrows my own.
"Bye Jude."
"See you soon, Con."
###
Apparently three days fly in a blink of an eye and I find myself here, The day of my wedding day, looking at my mirror reflection and deciding to ignore every single
'You're beautiful.' 'My baby is getting married.' 'Such a handsome young man." dripping off my family's lips and just focus on this mess.
"Call Erica."
I tell no one in particular, I don't care who makes the call, I just need that hairdresser to come here and Fix this.
"Jude.. She left ten minutes ago." Lena says as she looks at me with a quizzical expression all over her face.
"It's a mess.. These hair.. Ugh. What are those?! "
"Jude." Stef's authorative voice makes me turn around and face everyone's shocked expression.
"Baby..You're perfect."
"It looks like a nest! Can I expect the doves to poop on my head, then?
I'm not... I'm not perfect.. H-he deserves someone perfect and These hair.. Ugh, are all over the place. Connor deserves perfection. He deserves perfect hair and perfect husband and--"
"Okay." Stef says with calm yet firm voice that leaves no room for objections. "Everyone out."
"Wh--"
"Don't make me say it twice. I said everyone out of this room."
Once everyone has left the room, including Lena, mom rests her hands on my shoulders telling me to breathe.
"Okay, honey.. Take deep breaths.."
"W-Why is it always like this, fuck.."
She clears her throat as she glares at me for my “scandalous” choice of word.
"Sorry."
She tells me to sit down and she crouches across from me.
"Your dress.."
She shakes her head as she shushes me.
"Do you know what was the first thing I told to your father when I've seen you for the first time?"
I shake my head and she smiles, lifting up her hand and gently carressing my flushed cheek.
"I told him; he's perfect. He's gonna be the most gorgeous boy I'll ever come across in my entire life and this little boy will bring so much happiness in my life."
"Mom.."
"I know I've not always been the loving mother you've always dreamed of but I've always been proud of you, since the day you were born, you've always been my greatest accomplishment and best thing that ever happened in my life along with your sister."
"I love you mom."
"I love you too, sweetheart.. And here.."
I give a soft gasp at the item landing on my hands.
"My phone..."
"Perhaps listening to his voice will make you feel better."
She gets up and I stand up as well, pulling my mother into the warmest of hugs.
"I love you baby."
"Thank you, mom and I love you too."
She leaves the room and I stare for few seconds at the number dialed on my phone. Should I? I mean.. It would be nice to keep the surprise of seeing him and listen to his voice for the first time in almost a week but..
Oh fuck it.
His voice sounds incredibly surprised and thick with tears when he answers the phone.
“J-Jude?”
I bit my lip but it's too much.. I just can't hold back the flood of happy tears streaming down my face.
“Baby.. no..” He cries along with me. Look at us.. being the same mess. God.
“You are crying.” I manage to say, sounding more like an affirmation than a question.
I can easily picture him nodding his head as he breathes a feeble “Yes.”
“So are you.”
There's no need to lie about this, even if I want to.. even if I want to be strong for him.
I'm the one who called in the first place so I can't possibly be his rock but maybe.. considering the way we're both crying over the phone, we can be each other's rock.
“Fuck..” He laughs.
“We're in a sacred place, Connor..”
“I know.. sorry.” He laughs and his soft giggles make me stop crying, it's soothing and it makes me realize how bad I needed this. To hear his voice .
“You called me.”
“I did.”
“Why?”
He asks with curiosity filling his voice and really why should I call you ten minutes before the ceremony?
“I miss you so bad.”
“I miss you too, baby..”
“I'm so pathetic.”
“You're not.” He tells me with laugh clear in his voice. “You're amazing.”
I try to ignore the blush creeping over my cheeks.
“These are the longest ten minutes of my life..”
“You'll have to wait ten more minutes and then--” He suddenly trails off and I hear him giving a deep inhale of breath just like he's trying to calm down the erratic pace of his heart beats.
“And then?”
“And then.. you won't have to wait a minute longer..”
I close my eyes as his soft voice tells me..
“I'll be your husband and we'll be together for the rest of our lives.”
“Tell me more.”
I can hear the smile in his voice as he gives a sigh of contentness before saying.
“We'll go to bed together every night..”
“I can't wait.”
“We'll wake up and have breakfast together before going to work..”
“Sounds amazing.”
“We'll go to your favourite restaurant on friday night.”
“...And to yours on sunday's brunch.” I concede to him.
“I promise Jude. It will be amazing.”
“Three minutes left.. tell me something else.”
He laughs at the eager edge In my voice as I ask him to tell me, to make me see what's gonna be like.. the rest of our life together.
I'll see it with my own eyes but it's nice to picture how's gonna be through the soft voice of Connor Stevens telling me.
“It's gonna be us..” He says with emotion filling his voice. “.. we'll keep being us but in a new, better way.. we'll keep telling each other to fuck off and we'll keep fighting for which show to watch as we cuddle on the couch. It's gonna be you, attempting to cook--”
I burst out in laughter as I run my free hand over my face, wiping away the tears.
“-- And me attempting to do laundry.. It's gonna be Crazy, intense, Electrifying us for the rest of our lives.”
His words as predicted wash all the tears away .. I need to see him and call him husband and savour all the amazing moments he's just described.
I'm fevering with excitement and I realize that finally..
“Time's up.”
“I'll see you in a few.” He says. “I love you.”
“I love you too.”
There was a time once when I would have felt flattered by all those eyes looking at me, being under the spot light, and witness at those facesstaring at me in awe as I walked down the school hallway.
Now, as I walk down the aisle, I realize how futile all of that was..
My eyes are on him, since the moment I started walking towards my fiancè, I couldn't stop looking at him for one second.
He takes my hand and then I can barely register what's happening around us.. my brain blacks out completely.
I hear my moms going to sit at the first row and then as I look into my fiancè's eyes and I'm lost.
It happens all too fast, the words of the priest sounds blurry and far away. I just can't stop looking at his smile and his freckles.. the way he looks in this dark tuxedo..
He's..
“You're gorgeous.”
The priest suddenly stops talking, he gives a low chuckle causing Connor to smile too, but now there's a soft blush on his cheeks that makes him look even more gorgeous.. damn, I'm so lucky.
The priest gives a soft smile when he notices that the blush on Connor's cheeks has grown even more flushed.
“I, Connor Stevens, take you Jude Adams Foster as my lawfully wedded husband, to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, until death do us part."
"Jude.."
"Sorry." I sniff as I slightly shake my head. "I'm okay.. I'm okay."
He laughs as he tightens the grip on my hand.
I can't explain the sensation of fullness that glows inside of my chest as he takes his hand back and there's a ring on my finger.. My wedding ring, mine.. Forever.
"Are you ready, dear?" The priest says, taking note of my overemotional state.
"Yeah."
I clear my throat before saying.
"I, Jude Adams Foster, take you, Connor Stevens as my lawfully wedded husband, to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, until death do us part."
He smiles when his gaze falls on our matching ring, his smile.. His smile has never been brighter.
"In my presence and in the presence of your family and friends, you have exchanged vows and made promises. You have opened your hearts to one another, declared your love and friendship, and have united yourself with the exchanging of rings. Therefore, with the blessings of God, it is my pleasure to now pronounce you husbands."
I think I've thrown myself into Connor's arms way before he says, "you may now kiss your groom." I get to hear it just when our lips collide and he whimpers softly against my lips.
Our kiss as newlywed is short and chaste but perfect in its essence.
"I can't believe this."
He breathes softly against my lips as his hand trails over my cheek and down my neck. He closes his eyes and he rests his forehead against mine for a short moment.
"You're mine." He laughs. "You're mine for the rest of my life."