Work Text:
2014
We Dem Boyz
Vaughny added J.J, and unknown number.
Vaughny: Fellas, I just spoke with the rookie in Ottawa, Boodram, and we realized there is no safe space in the league for minorities like us. I would make a big group chat, but I think the four of us is good enough.
J.J: Ahhh, shit. Sounds good to me. Welcome to hell – I mean welcome to MHL Boodram!
Vaughny: No, you were right J.J. Welcome to hell.
Boodram: 😂😂. Thanks guys. I appreciate it.
Shane: Yes welcome!
Shane: Also, what does the name of the chat mean?
J.J: Ahhh Capitaine….
“Rozanov, what does We Dem Boyz mean?” Shane asked as he looked up from his phone. They were currently sitting down on the couch of Ilya’s Boston penthouse, taking a breather from their extensive extracurricular activities.
“As in, the Wiz Khalifa song?” Ilya asked with an amused look on his face.
“The who song?” Ilya let out a loud laugh that sent shivers down Shane’s spine. He knew he knew nothing about music, but he just wanted to understand the chat name.
“Why are you wondering about this Hollander?” Ilya picked up his phone and typed the song title into the YouTube search engine. Shane sighed as he looked back at the chat, now filled with greetings and preliminaries.
“Vaughny made a chat with me, J.J and that rookie from Ottawa, Boodram. Something about safe space for minorities, but it’s just the four of us. That’s the name of the chat.” Ilya let out another laugh, before pressing play on the music video.
“Let me introduce you to the Wiz Khalifa, yes?”
2015
We Dem Boyz
Boodram: I know Crowell did not say that…
J.J: Sigh! That’s what I was thinking. What do you mean the findings of the report were incorrect. We are treated like shit in this fucking league.
Shane: “Oh we have Shane Hollander”
Shane: ???????
Shane: I am so tired of being the face of “we fixed our racism issue. I’ve been here since 2009 and nothing has been done.
Boodram: I always forget you guys are so much older than me. 2009? Well mudaskunt…
Vaughny: Not now Bood! 😭😒
Boodram: my bad my bad!
Boodram: But no, that has to suck so much Hollander. Yes, we just want to play hockey, but I also don’t want into a locker room and worried about being hate crimed.
J.J: The number of times I got accused of doing voodoo….
Vaughny: No way! You’re better than me, I would’ve told them my mom got something cooking for them.
J.J: 😂 I did once! And then I got a warning from Crowell.
Shane: Crowell is so…
Vaughny: A bitch! You can say it Hollzy. He is a bitch.
Boodram: The biggest one. That’s why I hope he stub his pinky toe every day for the rest of his life.
Shane: That’s a threat I can get behind! :)
2016
We Dem Boyz
JJ: Zanmi! Amis! Friends! Capitaine got a girl losing her mind!
Shane: JJ….
Shane: can we not.
JJ: Non! I have to tell them. This is important.
Boodram: 👀 👀 I am all ears.
Vaughny: Thee Shane Hollander driving a girl crazy? I wish I was surprised.
Shane: Wait, what does that mean?
Boodram: Hollander, you’re hot. Like???
Shane: Oh.
JJ: He truly gets on my nerves.
JJ: Anyways. He has this girl, name Lily. Boston Lily to be exact. That’s why we always beat their ass. He gets laid and play like a maniac!
Vaughny: Wait!..... That makes so much sense.
Boodram: We were literally having that conversation in the locker room. Now we know why. Big up Lily two times!
Shane: Dear God…
Vaughny: You’re not denying anything Hollzy 👀
Boodram: right?? Lily giving my boy that ever-blessed pums.
JJ: 🤣 YES. I LOVE YOU BOSTON LILY. AND FUCK BOSTON.
Shane: She is giving me the what?
Vaughny: Yeah. Fuck Boston!
Boodram: Yuppp! Fuck Boston!
Shane: Fuck Boston!
2016
We Dem Boyz
Boodram: Hollander!!!!
Shane: That’s my name…
Boodram: ROSE LANDRY????????
Boodram: What happened to Boston Lily?
Vaughny: wait, what do you mean Rose Landry? Hollzy! You’re dating Rose Landry???
Boodram: My GUY. YES
Boodram: [link to tabloid article of the pair dating and being seen in Montreal]
Vaughny: OH MY GOSH. Shane Hollander the man you are.
Boodram: I am saying! I’m trying to be like him when I grow up.
Shane: Guys… yes I am with Rose.
Vaughny: ROSE LANDRY!
Shane: No need for the caps, or the full name. Just Rose is fine.
Boodram: JUST ROSE?????
Boodram: That’s like saying you’re just Shane. Please abeg…
JJ: What y’all don’t know is how they were immediately up under each other the night they met…
Vaughny: JJ! You’re hiding information from us??? Come on man.
Boodram: Wow imagine witnessing the power of love bringing Shane Hollander and Rose Landry together. The internet is losing their shit! I am losing my shit!
Vaughny: Same!
Shane: Oh boy.
JJ: You’re hot. She is hot. IT couple if you ask me.
Shane: Please stop calling me hot.
Boodram: No.
Vaughny: Nah.
JJ: Okay capitaine, I would stop calling you hot. I’ll call you sexy instead.
Shane: Ugh.
January 2017
We Dem Boyz
Vaughny: Imagine being stuck in the cold, instead of being in nice warm, sunny, Tampa.
Boodram: 🖕🏾
Vaughny: No need for the hostility Bood! I’ll send you sunshine from your cold, boring, Ottawa misery.
Boodram: 🖕🏾🖕🏾
Boodram: Go move ya muddaskunt.
JJ: Second.
Vaughny: You barely understand what that means JJ!
JJ: ale souse yon dick
Vaughny: 😮
Shane: yeah, you deserved that one Vaughny.
Shane: Tampa is nice though.
Vaughny: Whatever.
Vaughny: Can’t believe they have you and Rozanov on the same team. This is history.
Boodram: No, like if you told me back in 2009 that I would be able to see them on the same team, I would tell you to put down the cocaine.
JJ: I think I am going to throw up thinking about it.
Shane: It’s not that big of a deal. Just an All-Star Game.
JJ: Capitaine… you take everything seriously. Of course it’s a big deal.
Boodram: Isn’t he supposed to be your arch nemesis? Like don’t you hate the dude?
Vaughny: can’t be much hate. I saw them chatting it up at the hotel bar earlier.
Shane: Eh… rival sure, I do love beating him, but I don’t hate the guy.
Shane: and what’s up with this chat always reporting on me? Isn’t this supposed to be a support group?
Boodram: Can’t support you if we don’t know what’s going on. : )
Shane: Oh fuck off lool.
February 2017
We Dem Boyz
Vaughny: We are on a heater. I love this for me.
JJ: When you got a Capitaine like mine? Who can beat us?
Shane: We’ve lost more games than I would like to J.J.
JJ: Not the point Capitaine! We are still the best!
Vaughny: Now… I wouldn’t say the best…..
J.J: Vaughny… we will beat you guys so bad. Like Tu n’en sais rien.
Vaughny: I am going to be so fluent in French if I keep taunting you.
Boodram: At least you guys win games…..
Shane: Well. Have the Centaurs ever tried to win a game?
J.J: Capitaine! 🤣
Vaughny: Oh Hollander 😂😂
Boodram: you know what….. fuck all ah allyuh 🖕🏾
[Vaughny changes chat name to “4 Your (Colored) Eyez Only.”]
“Okay, quick question.” Shane said as he squinted at the name change of the group chat.
“Tell me Hollander.” Ilya’s voice echoed through the phone’s speaker.
“Vaughny just changed the of the group chat to the number four, your colored in brackets, spelled the American way, like, why?, eyes spelled with z only. What does that even mean?” Shane rolled his eyes as Ilya’s deep laugh filled through the room.
“Rozanov please.”
“Have you ever heard of J.Cole?” He laughed.
“Who?”
“Oh Hollander.”
March 2017
4 Your (Colored) Eyez Only
Shane: So, I have a question. It’s a little personal.
Vaughny: I am all ears. This is a safe space!
J.J.: Yes, capitaine. You’re good here.
Boodram: Yes, it’s a safe space until you’re on the Ottawa Centaurs. But all ears.
J.J.: Oh hush Bood! 😂
Shane: Good thing I am a Voyageur.
Shane: But yes, how do you know if you’re in love with someone?
Vaughny: Oh. That’s deeper than I expected. Honestly, I am still trying to figure that out with my girl.
J.J: I am honestly the last person to answer that question.
Shane: No yeah. I should’ve said this was a question for the others.
Boodram: 😂
Boodram: In all honesty. I believe it manifests in your actions. For me, once Cassie became a part of every plan, goal or idea that I had, I realized that I cannot live this life with her being a part of my life. I also just started swooning about everything. I started noticing her breathing patterns for all her emotions. I definitely knew I was in love when I got drafted. She was one of the few people that was real with me about the team but also reassured me that I was going to be alright. From that day, I also made a stronger effort to support her in her endeavors. It’s a lot of work, but yes. I am in love with that woman.
J.J: Why am I crying?
Vaughny: RT. That was beautiful.
Shane: Oh wow.
Shane: I think I feel the same.
Shane: Not about your wife, no.
Shane: alright, I just made that awkward.
Boodram: LOOOL. It’s fine Hollander. I understood you.
Boodram: Who got you in love? Boston Lily back?
J.J: wait… she is back.
Vaughny: Oh my, Boston Lily got you in love??? Maybe Boodram was right and she got that ever-blessed pum.
Shane: what does that even mean?
April 2017
4 Your (Colored) Eyez Only
Boodram: Holy Shit! That does not look good.
Vaughny: Sheeesh. Omg
Boodram: Is he moving? Oh man. Hollander please be up?
Vaughny: I hate this. I hate this so much.
Boodram: And they keep playing the hit. We don’t care if it was clean. Insensitive fuckers.
Vaughny: !!!!!! Always hated it.
Boodram: It makes my stomach hurt man. J.J, let us know when you get any updates on Shane. Please !
Vaughny: Yes, please.
[next morning]
J.J: Hey guys. Thanks for checking in. Capitaine will be alright. Out for the rest of the season though. He has a concussion and broken collar bone. :(
Boodram: Shit……
Vaughny: I hate that so much. No one wants to see the great Shane Hollander injured man.
J.J: Yeah, the team isn’t taking it lightly at all. And we were already a little bang up. Huge loss. I am glad he is okay though.
Boodram: Same. Shit, maybe we could send some flowers when he gets out? I think that would be okay.
Vaughny: I am down with that. Well, I hope he doesn’t find it weird, but I think it’s a nice gesture.
J.J: I believe he would like the flowers. Plus it wouldn’t be the weirdest thing that happened anyways…
Boodram: 👀 don’t be vague now…
Vaughny: right????
J.J: vous êtes vraiment curieux!
Boodram: my google translate really works overtime talking with you. Also, you mentioned it!
Vaughny: I don’t understand this guy LOOL.
J.J: fine, fine. Apparently Rozanov paid capitaine a visit.
Vaughny: ILYA ROZANOV?????!!!????!?!??!?
J.J: that’s the one…
Boodram: 😮
Vaughny: Okay, I mean they were buddy buddy during All-Star. So that’s good. I just didn’t expect it.
Boodram: 😮
Boodram: Hmmm…… I guess he is not that evil….
Boodram: Hmmmmmmm……..
J.J: what are you thinking Bood?
Boodram: Hmm….
Vaughny: I hate y’all pensive ass mfs.
May 2017
4 Your (Colored) Eyez Only
Vaughny: ugh… this winning thing is so much work. But so much fun.
Boodram: Here he goes… 🙄
Vaughny: Like, the pressure of not just being the best team in the eastern conference, but in the entire league… it’s such a heavy burden to carry.
J.J: Sorry, is someone talking??
Shane: 😂😂
Boodram: I was also seeing empty messages. Thought I was going crazy.
Vaughny: Blah Blah. Y’all just mad that I am winner!
Boodram: Imagine being mad at a dude from North Dakota…
J.J: Bon?? Just making all this noise for what.
Vaughny: I should’ve known you all are my biggest haters.
Shane: there should be something to hate for us to be haters.
Vaughny: 😮
Boodram: LOOOOL. I love when Hollander gets spicy.
J.J: That’s my capitaine!!!
Shane: : )
Shane: Congrats on the win Vaughny! And fuck Boston!
Boodram: Yeah! Fuck Boston!
J.J: Fuck Boston!! Not Boston Lily though, that’s only for Shane.
Shane: Oh my God.
Vaughny: HAHAHA. Yeah! Fuck Boston!
June 2017
4 Your (Colored) Eyez Only
Boodram: Damn, the Admirals really did it.
J.J: No foreal! Congrats to them, even though it should be me!
J.J: Vaughny! Félicitations!
Boodram: Yeah Vaughny! Big up yourself two times bredda!
Shane: Yeah! Congrats Vaughny!
J.J: Wait… what’s Hunter doing?
Boodram: is he waiting on someone? Why are they taking so long to come down?
Boodram: No urgency smh
J.J: okay, but…. What is really happening?
J.J: Who is that man?
Boodram: Who is that man?
Boodram: OH MY GOSHHHHHHHHHHHHH
Boodram: WADIASSSS WADIASSSSSSSS
J.J: SA FOUT LA
J.J: HUNTER SKDJFKJDKJF
J.J: OH MY! SCOTT HUNTER IS KISSING A MAN.
J.J: I REPEAT. SCOTT HUNTER IS KISSING A MAN IN THE MIDDLE OF THE ICE.
J.J: HOLY SHIT.
Boodram: I-
Boodram: HELLO?????????????
Boodram: THIS IS…
Boodram: WHAT IS HAPPENING
J.J: THEY ARE STILL KISSING?????????????
Shane: What the hell…
J.J: I am….
Boodram: WHAT ARE THE SOCIAL AND ECONOMIC IMPLICATIONS OF SCOTT HUNTER KISSING A HOT MAN ON THE ICE AFTER WINNING A STANLEY CUP AFTER 700 YEARS?
Shane: Bood 😂
Boodram: NO SHANE. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Boodram: THIS IS REVOLUTIONARY.
Boodram: IS THIS WHAT THEY MEANT WHEN THEY SAID THE REVOLUTION WILL BE TELEVISIED???
J.J: Now… Bood….. take a couple steps back.
Shane: Lol. Please. Breathe.
Shane: But yes, this is serious.
Boodram: SO SERIOUS.
Boodram: Congratulations to him though. They are hot.
J.J: !!!!!!!!!
Vaughny: Everyone wanted to know what I would do if I didn’t win……….. Guess we will never know!
Boodram: NOT NOW VAUGHNY. SCOTT HUNTER JUST KISSED A MAN.
July 2017
4 Your (Colored) Eyez Only
Shane: Okay. Question for Bood.
Shane: Did you take major risks for Cassie? Since you said you’re in love with her?
Vaughny: lover boy Hollzy is back guys.
Shane: Shut up Vaughny. I am asking an expert.
J.J: 😂
Vaughny: Ouch!
Boodram: Honoured to be called an expert by thee Shane Hollander. Adding that to my CV.
J.J: Okay, hop off my capitaine’s dick. I’m the only one allowed.
Vaughny: ?????????????????
Shane: what?
Boodram: Anyways……
Boodram: To answer you Hollander. Yes, I did. A lot of our relationship and love has been met with compromise and making big decisions to support and love each other. Cassie moved to Ottawa for me. Who in the world wants to live here for spite?
Shane: wait… I’m from Ottawa.
J.J: and you live in the greatness of Montreal…
Vaughny: 😭
Boodram: I’ve also had to take a lot of risks when it comes to her. Learning her love language, making sure I am always present. Supporting her endeavors. Things that are difficult and a logistical nightmare with my career, but I make it work. And that’s just the bare minimum….
Shane: Thank you, Bood! I appreciate it.
Vaughny: All I am hearing is that Hollander is getting real serious Boston Lily 👀
Shane: 🤫
J.J: atta capitaine!
July 2018
4 Your (Colored) Eyez Only
Boodram: *ahem*
Vaughny: Oh no…
Boodram: GUESS WHO GAH ILYA ROZANOV ON THEIR TEAM!!!!!!
Boodram: I DO! I DO! I DO! NOT YOU HAHHHHHHHHH
J.J: Who needs Rozanov when I have the best capitaine??? I have thee Shane Hollander.
Vaughny: I have Scott Hunter.
J.J: Now……..
Shane: 🦕
Boodram: right….
Vaughny: I’m telling him!
Shane: Oh no… the dinosaur is going to eat us.
Shane: 😔
J.J: HAHAHAHAHAHA
Boodram: As I was saying before Vaughny brought up the crustaceous period…
Boodram: ILYA ROZANOV ON MY TEAM. NO ILYA ROZANOV ON YOURSSSSSSSSS.
November 2018
4 Your (Colored) Eyez Only
Vaughny: Congratulations on the foundation Hollander. I think I cried reading the press release. You and Rozanov are doing something great.
J.J: That’s my capitaine man! It’s really great. Congrats.
Boodram: It’s so beautiful. Roz was telling me about it. I also cried like a baby.
Shane: Thanks guys! I really appreciate it.
Boodram: You’re welcome!
Vaughny: My bad if I’m overstepping, but why with Rozy? You know, the whole rivalry thing.
J.J: right?
Shane: You know, post all-star we just got to know each other better, and I believe with him in Ottawa now, it’s a good idea, and a great mission.
J.J: that makes sense! It’s a good mission indeed.
Boodram: Hmm….
Vaughny: ugh, Bood doing his pensive shit again…
December 2018
4 Your (Colored) Eyez Only
J.J: I can see you typing Bood.
Vaughny: I just saw the news… ah boy.
Shane: 😂 it’s a good move. They need it.
Boodram: WYATT MUTHAFUKIN HAYES IN ALLYUH MUDDASKUNT.
Boodram: NO GOALS FOR YOU. NO GOALS FOR YOU. NO GOALS FOR YOU. AHHHHHHHHH
Boodram: LETS GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
Boodram: AM I GOD’S FAVORITE? AM I BEING BLESSED FOR ALL MY SACRIFICES.
Boodram: THIS IS HOW I KNOW GOD IS A TRINI!
Boodram: [sends link to Trini 2 De Bone by David Rudder]
Boodram: TRINI 2 DE BOONNNEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
J.J: Okay, but this song slaps.
Vaughny: and do…
Shane: it’s very nice. Patriotic.
November 2019
4 Your (Colored) Eyez Only
Boodram: we still on for after the game right Vaughny?
Vaughny: Yes sir!
Shane: Don’t have too much fun now
Kingfisher – New York City
“Okay, so it’s not just me finding everything being very convenient.” Carter said before taking a sip of his beer. He and Zane were in a booth, away from the rest of the crowd at the Kingfisher. After greeting the others in the bar, they quickly grabbed a drink and start their small gossip session.
“Vaughny, Boston Lily, became Ottawa Lily as soon as Rozy moved to Ottawa.” Zane whispered as he grabbed a napkin from the table, and a black pen from his pants pocket. Carter watched him with an amused look as the other man drew out a chart with various lines and dates.
“Okay. We knew pre–Rose Landry Hollander. According to J.J., he would go, get laid, and then play they crazy against Boston. But he would also play crazy when Boston played Montreal. This means, that Boston Lily would be affiliated with the team. Right...”
“Like, staff that travels. Maybe a trainer.” Carter said as he nodded his head.
“Exactly!” Zane yelled a tad bit too loud. “I thought, okay. Hollzy would be into a health person. A nutritionist or a trainer. However, we got the post Rose Laundry era.” He said as he circled around the words on the napkin.
“He is cool with Roz. And then Roz visits him in the hospital. And then Roz signs with Ottawa, which I am thankful for, but it’s still what the fuck? And then the foundation and Boston Lily is now in Ottawa. I don’t know man. I don’t think Boston was also losing a nutritionist.” Zane said as he pushed the napkin towards Carter.
“You’re saying Lily is Roz.” Carter said as he looked up from the paper.
“Yes.”
“Holy shit.” Carter laughed. “This makes too much sense. But is Shane even? Roz literally has had sex with every woman on the eastern seaboard.”
“I’ve heard rumors about Shane, but it’s not my place to speculate. And Roz? I’m in the locker room with, and I know a man liker when I see one man.” Zane laughs.
“Well shit. What do we do?”
“Nothing. Just observe. When Shane is comfortable to tell us. He will. Until then, I’ll continue this conspiracy with Cassie.” He said as he shoved the napkin into his pocket.
“Of course, Cassie is involved. She probably figured this out and told you.”
“Yeah.” They both laughed.
January 2020
4 Your (Colored) Eyez Only
Vaughny: All-star is looking qwhite white this year….
Vaughny: Hollander being our rep is… hmmm….
Vaughny: But nooooo, there isn’t a race issue in the league.
Boodram: Crowell could go suck he modda…. I hate him so much.
J.J: That makes me and you both, mon frère.
Vaughny: Oh no, our designated Black is having an off year but that’s okay we have half-Asian Shane Hollander. He will represent the colored people! It’s a miracle that he is even that great. Wow! Diversity.
Vaughny: Stupid Bitches.
J.J: That’s how they’ve been sounding since 2009. It’s been 11 years. They need to get a fucking grip.
Boodram: It makes me so uncomfortable.
Shane: same here.
Shane: Also, most of these white guys are boring as hell.
Shane: At least I got Rozanov to tell me dumb shit.
Boodram: 👀
Vaughny: 👀
J.J: Tell Rozanov not to be too friendly now!
April 2020
4 Your (Colored) Eyez Only
Boodram: Oh, I see a lot of typing is happening.
Vaughny: Sigh… good game….
J.J: C’est nul de perdre.
J.J: Can’t relate HAAAAAAAAAAA
Shane: tell Hunter the dinosaurs are looking for their pack leader.
J.J: PAHAHAHAHAHHAHAAA
J.J: Hot man gotta comfort dinosaur tonight. Poor Hot man.
Boodram: LOOOL. Allyuh being real mean today.
Shane: I mean I too would be sad if I got eliminated and is a dinosaur.
Shane: :(
Shane: now I feel bad.
Shane: Actually no. I won.
J.J: HAHAHAA. I love you capitaine!
Vaughny: You know, you can be an asshole, Hollander.
Shane: :)
May 2020
4 Your (Colored) Eyez Only
Boodram: I know the MTL guys are on a generational run, but can someone (preferably Hollander), explain to me why my captain is getting a tattoo of a loon?
Vaughny: He is so random 😂
J.J: ???? Like the birds that in the forest.
Vaughny: There are so many birds in the forest J.J.
Vaughny: [sends picture of loon]
Vaughny: okay, those eyes are scary, but also…feels like Rozy. I support.
Boodram: It’s giving “O, Canada” headass.
Shane: I’m sorry, he is doing what?
Boodram: Oh… you didn’t know? 👀
Shane: No….
Vaughny: 👀 oh.
Boodram: Hmmmm
J.J: Here goes that Bood hmm again.
June 2020
Boodram: Congratulations Boys!!
Vaughny: The cup, once again stays in the best conference. Congratulations!
J.J: CONN SMYTHE FOR CAPTAINE. FINALLLYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY YYYYYYYYYYYYYY
Boodram: this mf drunk as hell.
J.J: CHAMPIONS CHAMPIONS CHAMPIONS
Vaughny: and is. The French incoming..
J.J: ON A GANGÉ. ON A ENFIN GANGÉ CE TRUC. LA COUPE EST À LA MAISON. DANS SA PLACE LÉGITIME. (We won. We won this shit. The cup is home. In its rightful home.)
Vaughny: and there it is.
Boodram: at this rate, I might be more fluent in French than English.
J.J: NOUS AVONS CONSTRUIT CECI, BRIQUE PAR BRIQUE, PAR BRIQUE, PAR BRIQUE! (We built this, brick by brick by brick by brick, by brick.)
J.J: Mwen se yon gayan!
Shane: Thanks guys!
Shane: Also.. must suck being a loser. Cannot relate : )
J.J: THREE CUPS. THREE CUPS. SOME PEOPLE DON’T HAVE ONE.
Boodram: Okay… damn…
Vaughny: 😂😭 catch up Bood!
Boodram: I’m trying!
Shane: try harder!
July 2020
4 Your (Colored) Eyez Only
Shane: And of course that’s all they say. Lol.
Boodram: This league is the worse man. It also sucks that so many guys in the locker rooms across the league agree with this shit.
Vaughny: Look. I told them straight up. You can’t have a problem with Black people and then want to buddy up with me. I know I’m from North Dakota, but I’m no coon!
Boodram: Yeah nah.. Rozy killed any type of those behaviors a long time ago.
Boodram: He said y’all want to meet Drake but don’t know why you can’t sing the N-word. And then proceeded to say Kendrick is better and that’s why he ended everyone on the control verse.
Vaughny: Rozanov is a character. 😂
Shane: Yes.
Boodram: Yes.
Boodram: But yeah. I feel like, idk civil unrest in America should be an important topic. Seeing why the unrest is happening.
J.J: Don’t get me started on the league. Those bourik.
J.J: Like what’s so difficult about making meaningful change?
J.J: Oh wait, it means they have to stop being racist. My bad.
Shane: I just got off the phone with my mom. League is not making any statement that would upset investors. I am putting out a statement though. This is unnecessary.
Boodram: and while you at it, tell dem jokey muddaskunts da you tired being their pawn! Strups.
Vaughny: I second that.
J.J: third!
Shane: Oh I will.
Statement from Shane Hollander, Captain of the Montreal Voyagers.
In light of the recent protests happening across North America, and globally, I am here standing in solidarity as people fight for their rights. While this experience does that pertains to me personally, I am both sympathetic to the issues that Black people face. I am also extremely disappointed in the MHL for the lack of support on this issue, ignoring the Black players across the league. I’ve included their call to action below I will continue to support and uplift our Black and minority communities through the work of the Irina Foundation as we make a better space for all, and ensure our mental health continues to improve. Lastly, I want to distance myself from any inclusion propaganda the league might push using my name, image or likeness, as I am tired of being the face of diversity when no work is being done behind closed doors.
Take care of yourself and continue being the change.
In Solidarity.
Shane Hollander - #24 MTL Voyagers.
July 2020
4 Your (Colored) Eyez Only
Shane: Please come for J.J.
Shane: [sends picture of J.J skating around with the students and the cup]
Vaughny: That is actually very adorable. I am jealous.
Boodram: Same.
Vaughny: How is camp going?
Shane: Great. Even though the players are stressing me out more than the children.
J.J: NOT ME. I am so great to you capitaine!
J.J: Now… Roz… y’all are an old married couple.
Shane: what, no we’re not.
J.J: I literally just heard you tell him to stop skating to make sure he is hydrated.
J.J: it’s either you’re his mother, or his wife. And with the smirk he gives you, mother would be weird.
Shane: whatever. Hydration is important. Are you hydrated?
J.J: yes capitaine!
Boodram: the way I just drank half a bottle of water in fear.
Vaughny: same. And I’m not even there.
Boordam: Hollzy terrifies me.
J.J: very strict. Lovable. But strict.
Boodram: that’s what Roz likes.
Shane: Huh?
J.J: Huh?
Vaughny: Huh? 👀
Boodram: Huh?
Shane: 🙄
October 2020
Vaughny
Zane: We just finished playing against MTL.
Zane: Ilya isn’t coming back to Ottawa with us.
Vaughny: The napkin is manifesting right in front of our eyes.
Vaughny: This is great. 😂
Zane: I am telling you. Roz needs it anyways. He has not been in the best mood.
November 2020
4 Your (Colored) Eyez Only
Boodram: Barrett is a great player and not that much of an asshole. But he needs to get his shit together. I am so over it.
Shane: What’s the issue? Rozy has been a little stressed with him too.
Boodram: Man, I don’t know what the hell happened in Toronto besides the Kent situation, but coming to the game drunk as fuck is unacceptable and dangerous. I don’t get it man.
Vaughny: Yeah, that’s dangerous as fuck.
Vaughny: How has talking to him been going?
Boodram: He is closer with Roz, which makes sense, but sometimes he is just mumbling to the both of us. I’m going to calm down and go to his room and tell him to get his shit together. We are already a pity parade. We don’t need more.
Shane: agreed.
Shane: and make sure someone keeps an eye on him.
J.J: Yes. He is obviously going through a lot.
J.J: and I want to reiterate that Kent belongs under the jail cell. Sickening human being.
Vaughny: !!!!!
Shane: In total agreement there.
Shane: cut off his dick while we are at it.
Boodram: Yeah. He needs to be beaten the fuck up.
Boodram: But thanks guys. As always.
February 2021
4 Your (Colored) Eyez Only
Vaughny: Maybe the demons Barrett was fighting in November was the closet he was locked in.
J.J: 🤣🤣
J.J: I love that for him thought. I gave my support on the socials.
Vaughny: Same! Scott needed some company though.
Boodram: I feel my team is just gay as hell and I love it. And we are winning? Who are we??
J.J: Crowell has to be losing his shit. It’s one thing for old Scott Hunter, but young and spunky Troy Barrett?
Boordam: He is throwing up, crying, sliding down the walls, asking God why the gays are is in his league.
Boodram: Hope he stub his toe every fucking day.
Vaughny: CORRECT. I love this. Now we have two out players. I wonder who is next.
Shane: a third one might be closer than you think.
Boodram: what does that supposed to mean Shane Hollander?
Vaughny: Yeah, I don’t like when you start speaking in proverbs.
J.J: 😂😂😂
Boodram: 👀 Shane. Hollander. What are you saying?
Vaughny: J.J is just laughing… he knows something.
J.J: 😂 🤷🏽♂️
Shane: Yes :)
Boodram: wait….
Vaughny: so number three is going to be……
Shane: Think about it.
Shane: Scott told me he saw y’all drawing a napkin a while back and my name was on it. .
Boodram: THE NAPKIN 😮
Vaughny: The napkinnnnnn… oh shit Bood. The napkin.
March 2021
4 Your (Colored) Eyez Only
Boodram: Holy shit.
Boodram: Hollander, are you okay man? I am so sorry. This shit should’ve never happened to you.
Vaughny: Fuck…. Hollander, just check in with us when you can.
Vaughny: Please.
Vaughny: This is not good. Not good at all.
Boodram: I hope MTL got his back…. We obviously rallying around Roz.
Vaughny: That’s great. I hope they support him indeed.
J.J: Hey guys, just spoke to Shane. He is not doing the best, but he has Roz. So we’re going to be alright.
Boodram: Also…. Whoever is this Brad dude… I’m going to pay him a visit.
April 2021
4 Your (Colored) Eyez Only
Boodram: Is everything okay? MTL locker room sounded like hell.
Vaughny: I have a bad feeling it’s because Hollzy tripped.
Boodram: That’s a dumb reason! If they are blaming him for the lost when they didn’t do shit all day, I will personally go over there and box in dem muddaskunt. One by one.
Vaughny: I would catch a flight and support you. Because that would be bullshit.
Shane: Hey guys. Sorry for the radio silence.
Shane: Yeah. Vaughny is right.
Shane: it’s dumb. But Hayden and J.J, had my back.
Shane: all of this sucks. I am tired.
J.J: none of this is your fault capitaine! They are all stupid. I hate them!
Vaughny: Did you say something J.J.?
J.J: Damn right I did! I told them
J.J: Yo pa gen dwa fache. Nou tout se yon bann moun initil. Twa tas. Li ban nou twa tas epi nou fache poutèt yon vwayaj. Nou pa fè anyen lòt ke salop ak salop. Nou pa bon nan antrennman. Nou pa bon pandan match. Men, toudenkou Shane Hollander ap gaspiye match yo. Bann sòt.
Boodram: Oh…
Boodram: Oh the google translation. 😂 you’re the best J.J
Boodram: [sent screenshot of the following: They have no business being upset. You are all useless fuckers. Three cups. He has given us three cups and you're upset over a trip. You do nothing but bitch and bitch. Suck at practice. Suck during games. But all of a sudden Shane Hollander is throwing away games. Dumb bitches.]
Shane: I knew it was bad but. 😂 I appreciate it a lot J.J. I really do.
Vaughny: I’m adding salop to my vocabulary.
Boodram: Same!
J.J: I will always have your back capitaine! Always.
May 2021
4 Your (Colored) Eyez Only
Vaughny: Hollzy! Happy Birthday man! The big 3 0.
Boodram: Yessii. Birthday Blessings! Hope today is great.
J.J.: Joyuex anniversaire capitaine!
Shane: Thank you guys!
Shane: 30 feels different. Back felt stiff this morning.
Boodram: Are you sure that’s old age, or Roz rocking your shit? Because..
Shane: Bood!
Boodram: I’m just saying. Since y’all got outed, he kept talking about he can’t wait and see his very hot husband. So….
Vaughny: Sounds like a Rozanov thing to say.
J.J: No foreal.
Shane: It really does.
Vaughny: Okay, things have calmed down a little bit and I have an important question.
Shane: was it on the napkin?
Boodram: I still have it by the way.
J.J: Frame it.
Vaughny: How the hell did you lock down Ilya Rozanov?
Vaughny: and yes, frame the napkin. That’s history.
Shane: I just got it like that.
Boodram: You know what?
Boodram: You do. Rose Landry, Ilya Rozanov.
J.J: Apparently Jackie wanted Shane first, but he ignored her.
Vauhgny: LMAAOOOOOOOOO
Vaughny: Hottest man in the league for a reason. I get it. Who doesn’t want Shane Hollander.
Shane: Here we go again.
Boodram: Right? He is hot. Got real estate. Hot. Polite. Hot. Three Cups. Hot.
J.J: I think you forgot to mention that he is hot.
Boodram: You’re right. HE IS HOT.
Shane: This is Rozanov. I know where you live Boodram. Stop flirting with my husband.
Vaughny: 🤣 Rozy will kill us.
Shane: yes. I will.
July 2021
4 Your (Colored) Eyez Only
J.J: In 3…2….1…
Boodram: I HAVE BEEN BLESSED TO NOT ONLY HAVE IYLA ROZANOV ON MY TEAM BUT THE GREAT, THE ILLUSTRIOUS, THE ONE AND ONLY SHANE HOLLANDER.
Boodram: I HAVE THE BEST LIFE IN THE WOLRD. I WILL NEVER LOSE. ONLY WIN.
Boodram: WHO JAH BLESS. NO MAN CAN CURSEEEEEEEE
Boodram: I CAN SEE IT. I CAN SEE IT. CUPS, SO MANY CUPS.
Vaughny: 😂
Boodram: THERE IS NO GREATER. NO ONE GREATER THAN YOU.
Boodram: I love this life and my team of super gays.
J.J: 🙄 just take care of my capitaine.
Boodram: your jealously is homophobic!
J.J: You’re stealing my man!
Boodram: Am I stealing him, or did he left!!!
Vaughny: Ohhhhhhhhhhh
J.J: Whatever! Idc
J.J: (I care a lot. I cried when he told us. And I understand because Montreal sucks).
Vaughny: It’s okay buddy. You can leave soon.
Boodram: Imagine fumbling Shane Hollander. Ilya Rozanov and I can’t relate.
Shane: 😂 please stop before Ilya threatens you again.
Shane: But also… Fuck Montreal
Vaughny: Fuck Montreal!
Boodram: Fuck Montreal!
J.J: Fuck Montreal!
July 2021
4 Your (Colored) Eyez Only
Boodram: I love them with all my heart, mind and soul. But why are there no chairs?
Vaughny: I’m saying.
J.J: I don’t know where to be annoyed and swooned by the fact there are no chairs. Like this is so on brand for them.
Boodram: Put on my good suit, to stand. Good thing they are beautiful.
Vaughny: They are so in love. I might be sick.
J.J: I think I’m crying. Okay I am crying. Love is beautiful.
Boodram: We are all crying J.J.
Vaughny: Out of all Rihanna songs???
Boodram: Harris man… these gays stress me out.
J.J: Diamond??? I bet you capitaine doesn’t even know that song.
Vaughny: He for sure doesn’t
J.J: SMH. This wedding. No chairs, now Diamond as the first dance.
Boodram: Should’ve played a Kompa song. Something like Bang Bang by Carimi.
J.J: Bood… that song is about American Imperialism in Ayiti. 😭
Boodram: Oh……… okay but we don’t know the words and it’s nice to dance to.
Vaughny: 😂
April 2024
4 Your (Colored) Eyez Only
Shane: Ilya asked if you guys listened to Cowboy Carter as yet.
Vaughny: 🤠 ofc. The ALBUM IS ABOUT ME.
Boodram: Just because your name is Carter and you’re from behind God’s back of North Dakota does not mean Beyoncé made an album about you.
Boodram: It’s been on repeat in my house since it dropped. Yes.
J.J: Love love love the album. She is soo good.
Shane: I like her as an artist yes. But I haven’t gotten to listen as yet.
Shane: Ilya is obsessed though.
Vaughny: Does he have a favorite song yet? Mine is Ya Ya.
Boodram: I particularly love My Rose. Reminds me of my baby.
J.J: 16 Carriages.
Boodram: Is everything alright J.J? 👀
J.J: Oh, I can’t like emotional music????
Vaughny: 😂
Shane: Ilya said his favourite song is Tyrant because it reminds him of me.
Shane: But… a tyrant is a bad thing.. no?
Vaughny: LOOOOOOL Never Change Rozy.
J.J: You know what…. That sounds about right.
Boodram: I have tears in my eyes for how hard I am laughing right now. 🤣
Boodram: Hollzy. Look up the lyrics.
Shane: Okay.
J.J: Roz man 🤣
Boodram: He lives to stress Hollander out man.
Vaughny: Freak4Freak
Shane: the lyrics…
Shane: Oh.
Shane: I see.
Boodram: AHAHAHAHAHAHA
Boordram: Roz love the way you ride it 🤭
J.J: AND DO!
Vaughny: At least the beat drop is immaculate.
Shane: Shut up!!!