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Summary
Iridiana Jones has many talents: swimming, swearing, catching the attention of genteel ladies, bargaining with Dark Ones, and keeping her crew alive in a storm. And lying.
She spends a lot of time lying about where she is actually from.
After all, when your Mom tells you she wishes she had done as Zelena suggested and gotten an abortion, what else is a runaway to do but get as far away from Storybrooke as possible?
A/N: Apple in the Comb compliant, but can be read as a standalone. Probably darker, swearier, and Iridiana-centric.