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1) Wilderness
If asked, Leo could probably have listed a hundred things he’d rather be doing than studying, more if he was allowed time to think about it. It was a beautiful summer day, he was free as a bird, and there was a pack of bottle rockets all but literally burning a hole in his pocket. Okay, maybe that wasn’t exactly true. It wasn’t a beautiful summer day, it was actually gray and drizzly and also, technically, fall. And, to be honest, the only bird who envied his freedom was a canary in a coal mine that had just caved in and was actively filling with carbon dioxide. But he did have bottle rockets, and they were burning a hole in his pocket.
“Jace, come oooooonnn,” he whined, headbutting his boyfriend in the shoulder. “Let’s go outside. I’ve got an idea.”
“For the hundredth time, no,” Jason chuckled. He managed to tilt Leo’s chin up mid-headbutt so that Leo came to rest on his shoulder. He craned his neck to peck a kiss on Leo’s nose. “You know how important this exam is. Mr. Thames said that anyone who didn’t pass wouldn’t be allowed to go on the Grand Canyon field trip next week. You don’t want to miss that do you?”
Secretly, no he didn’t. Leo had wanted to visit the Grand Canyon ever since he saw it in a children’s picture book about the National Parks when he was seven. His mom had promised him that they’d go for Leo’s tenth birthday as a special treat. That, obviously, hadn’t happened. Still, he had a reputation to live up to, so he pulled back with a self-important scoff. “Pft, whatever. I can pass any test I want, with or without studying.”
“I believe that,” Jason said genuinely, like he wasn’t aware that the test was on American history and Leo struggled with remembering when the War of 1812 happened. “However, I can’t do that, and I’d like to go on the trip.”
“I don’t know how you can stand this stuff,” Leo said, wrinkling his nose in distaste. “Don’t you hate this?”
Jason hummed in thought for a moment before he gave Leo one of those world-shattering smiles. “It’s not so bad. It does kinda suck, but I’d happily put up with anything if I had the right company.”
Leo felt his cheeks flush and he lowered his gaze. Jason had a way of doing that, he’d just say things, things that made Leo’s heart flutter and his stomach tie itself in knots. He’d say stuff like it was the easiest thing in the world, like he didn’t rock Leo’s world to the core with that easy declaration of preference. Leo started fiddling with his fingers, picking at an annoying little hangnail on his left ring finger until it bled.
“I mean, I guess if it’s for your benefit, I could stick around,” Leo muttered, his heart still beating too fast to look at Jason.
He didn’t need to look up to hear the fondness in Jason’s voice when he said, “I’d appreciate that.”
Leo clenched his fists in his lap until his knuckles ached, then he screwed his face up and leaned in to peck an incredibly awkward kiss on Jason’s cheek. He was still getting used to that. To being allowed to show affection just because he wanted to. To know that somebody wanted him to want to. He cleared his throat and pretended like he didn’t flush a shade or forty darker. “Let’s, uh, study then. I guess.”
He peeked up at Jason, who had his fingers pressed softly to his cheek where Leo had kissed him. He was also blushing an absolutely darling shade of pink and he looked a bit starstruck. Then he shook his head and beamed at Leo like he was wonderful, before lifting his arm in welcome. “Come here; we can share my book, if you want.”
And, well, Leo wasn’t stupid, so he immediately took that offer, burrowing into Jason’s side and leaning into him like a cat. Jason’s arm came back down to rest over Leo like a safety bar on a rollercoaster, and Leo felt his heart beat a bit faster in anticipation. He turned his face and pressed another kiss to the collar of Jason’s t-shirt, a bit less frenetically than before and smiled. “Alright, Professor Jason. Go ahead and learn me some history.”
2) The Quest
Leo was tired. More specifically, he was exhausted. Or, maybe, “fucking wiped” would be the most accurate description. It didn’t really matter that much how you said it, though, the result was still the same. Leo was white-knuckling the reins of a bronze mechanical dragon that he’d spent all night working on because, apparently, that was his life now. Turns out he wasn’t the son of some deadbeat lowlife who’d left him and his mom high and dry, he was the son of some deadbeat god who’d left him and his mom high and dry. A lot of people seemed to think that one little word changed everything, even if Leo and his mom had been left in the same boat. So, now he had the shiny new title of demigod, and he was on a quest to save his psychotic childhood babysitter, who was actually Hera, and that was a whole other thing he wasn’t quite ready to unpack yet. So, he just did what he did best: he stifled a yawn and ignored as much of his life as possible.
Then, a big, achingly familiar hand settled on his shoulder and Leo stiffened like he’d been tased. “Are you okay?” Jason asked softly.
That… was the other thing he’d been ignoring. Jason wasn’t his boyfriend. Jason wasn’t even his regular friend. In fact, Leo had never actually met Jason before today, despite the fact that his heart absolutely sang any time Jason looked at him. It was all a trick of the Mist, some kind of fucked up mind game Hera had played on him because he simply hadn’t lost enough in his life. He remembered Will Solace explaining it to him outside of the Hephaestus cabin. How he’d argued and refused to believe it until Will had asked him what his boyfriend’s last name was. He’d cried like a baby when he came up painfully blank.
Jason had seemed relieved beyond words to have everything explained to him, and Leo tried very hard to not assume his relief had anything to do with getting rid of Leo. He didn’t know Leo, it would be beyond egotistical to assume that any part of him was even thinking about their farce of a relationship, for good or for ill. Leo told himself that Jason didn’t care, and if Jason didn’t care, he didn’t have to care. Leo had always been good at lying, but never to himself.
“I’m fine,” he muttered, recoiling slightly from Jason’s touch. Jason pulled back his hand like he’d been burned and Leo pretended that he didn’t want to cry. He scrubbed the heel of his palm into his eyesocket, trying to restore some feeling there. “I’m just tired. I spent all night in the woods getting Festus fixed and packing for the quest, you know?”
“The granola bars earlier were really good,” Jason complimented without a hint of irony in his voice. “Thank you.”
And that right there was what was killing Leo. That was exactly what his boyfriend would have said, and if Jason was his boyfriend like he was supposed to be, Leo would have kissed him on his stupid mouth to keep him from saying anything else. Instead he just gave Jason a weary smile over his shoulder. “I’ll be sure to send your compliments to Chef Quaker.”
Then, he yawned again, even though he clenched his jaw in an attempt to smother it. His whole body trembled with the force of it, and Jason’s hand was back, gentle and firm as ever. “Why don’t you go to sleep?” Jason coaxed. “Festus already knows where the Palace of Boreas is, right? I can make sure you don’t fall off or anything.”
And that was the truth. Jason, even this amnesiac version wearing his fake boyfriend’s face, would never, ever let him fall. He’d proven that much when he’d leapt into the Grand Canyon to catch Leo. Leo felt tears sting in his eyes as he remembered that moment, of Jason holding him close while they literally flew, of Leo pulling his face down to kiss him. That one, perfect moment was all that was real from all Leo’s months of memories, and it stung as much as it soothed. Still, Jason had proven himself time and time again, and Leo was so tired.
“Promise you won’t let me fall?” he asked, eyelids drooping. He slowly, slowly leaned back until his back was against Jason’s chest and Jason’s arms were around him, gripping Festus’s reins and holding Leo fast and secure.
“Never,” Jason swore softly in his ear. With that, Leo slumped the rest of his weight onto a stranger he loved more than breath, and he fell asleep.
3) Camp Half-Blood
Surprisingly, life actually started getting a bit better after it hit rock bottom. As it turned out, Leo was practically built to be a demigod. Everything just… clicked for him in a way nothing had since he was eight years old and the only thing that mattered to him was how much his mamá loved him and what cartoons were playing that Saturday morning. He got along with every last one of his siblings in the Hephaestus cabin, he loved getting to work on the Argo II in Bunker Nine, and he always, always knew where he was getting his next meal and where he was going to sleep. For the first time in years, Leo was allowed to just be his pure, authentic self 24/7 with no repercussions and he felt like he was breathing for the first time.
Unsurprisingly, a huge part of that relief was Jason. Leo’s heart still twinged, knowing that the Jason he had before was gone, had never been real, but it wasn’t quite so bad when he had this new, very real Jason at his side. Jason still wasn’t his boyfriend, but he was Leo’s best friend. Leo got to keep some small part of him. He still got to be on the receiving end of Jason’s blatant, genuine admiration, and he got to be squeezed up in hugs that made his bones ache and his heart pound with anticipation and joy at the same time. Jason wasn’t his boyfriend, but he was still Leo’s and that meant everything.
And part of that everything included, amongst other things, teaming up for Capture the Flag. The Hephaestus cabin was working with the Ares kids this time around, and despite Annabeth’s strategic offers of alliance, Jason had immediately aligned himself with Leo’s team. Leo didn’t know anything about battle strategy, so he was arguably more of a hindrance than a help during captain meetings, but that was fine because that was Jason’s job anyway.
Leo’s job was supposedly reinforcing the perimeter of the Red Team flag base, then joining the battle fray to push back the Blue Team. But, well, something as simple as setting traps didn’t exactly take long for someone like Leo, and he hadn’t even gotten around to picking a weapon, so a battle probably wasn’t going to be the most ideal spot for him. Could he have pointed that out during the meeting? Yes, of course, but that would have meant that he didn’t have an excuse to bail on fighting and he really wanted to bail on fighting.
So, instead of going where anyone would have expected him to, Leo just took himself on a little nature walk. This was a very bad idea because Leo had a habit of not paying attention to his surroundings when he got stuck up in his head, and the forest floor wasn’t particularly smooth sailing when you got off the beaten path. Demigod reflexes were cool and all, but they could only help so much when you got your foot twisted up in a tree root you would have seen if you weren’t too busy thinking about ballistae and Transformers.
Leo was sitting up against a tree, gingerly massaging his grapefruit-sized ankle when Jason found him. Jason’s eyes were wide, his expression a little wild, but he relaxed when their eyes met. “Leo! Are you okay?”
“Peachy keen,” Leo chirped as Jason fell to his knees in front of him. “Assuming you ignore my mutilated ankle, of course.”
Jason wasn’t ignoring the ankle, not even a little. “What happened? Why are you even all the way out here?”
“There was an attempt on my life, executed via tree root,” Leo reported. “And I was bailing on the fight. What are you doing out here?”
“You never showed up, so I started asking the dryads if they’d seen you,” Jason explained. “Come on, let’s get out of here; I can carry you if you can’t stand.”
Leo’s face immediately puckered. “No way, dude. I am not letting you damsel me in front of everyone. I’d rather just starve to death out here. At least then I’d have my dignity.”
Jason didn’t argue the point, much to Leo’s surprise. Instead, he just sat down next to Leo, his right leg extended next to Leo’s left. “Okay, I’ve got an idea. We’re gonna look weird, but there won’t be any carrying involved.”
Leo’s eyebrows shot up so fast he was a little worried they’d achieve liftoff from his forehead. “I’m listening.”
As it turned out, Jason’s plan was a three-legged race. They strapped Leo’s injured leg to Jason’s right, with Jason’s foot a couple inches lower to make sure that there wasn’t any weight put on Leo’s ankle. Then, after a few practice runs where they were only saved from faceplanting by Jason’s use of wind powers, they made their slow, awkward way out of the woods, Leo leaning as much of his weight on Jason as he could. Red Team wound up losing the game, considering they’d lost their powerhouse, but Leo didn’t really care, and neither did Jason. Leo was stuck on bedrest for the rest of the day while the Ambrosia did its magic, and Jason stayed right by his side the whole time. They played cards together, Leo told bad jokes that Jason always laughed at, and Jason doodled all over Leo’s very temporary cast.
As the afternoon started winding down, Jason got out his book, which Leo demanded he read aloud, despite the fact that he was in the middle of a chapter, and Jason obliged him. Jason sat down on the bed next to Leo, and Leo got comfy, plopping his head against Jason’s shoulder to half-listen to the book. When he was feeling very brave, Leo pressed a tiny, shy kiss against Jason’s shirt, and was rewarded with Jason pressing a kiss to his hair, and Leo had to hide his grin. Maybe Jason wasn’t his boyfriend.
Or maybe Jason wasn’t his boyfriend yet.
4) The Argo II
The thing that nobody bothered to point out to Leo when he was building his giant flying warship of destiny was that said warship was going to be attacked by monsters because it was going to have seven of the most powerful demigods in history (one child for each of the Big Three, mind you) sitting pretty and waiting to be snacked on like a box of individually wrapped chocolates. Okay, to be fair, that was actually pointed out, mainly by Ares kids, which was why it was tricked to Tartarus and back with every weapon they could fit on it. However nobody had really considered the fact that the ship would be damaged and that some of that damage would be on the bottom of the hull, A.K.A. the most difficult place to do repairs.
Fortunately, Leo was a demigod who didn’t know when to quit and had a boyfriend who was willing to do batshit insane things with him.
“Are you sure this is a good idea?” Jason asked for probably the hundredth time.
“Come oooooonnn,” Leo needled. “It’s a Leo idea! You’re not chicken are you?”
“It’s not that it’s just that I–” Jason cut himself off with a huff when Leo started bawking at him. He grabbed Leo by the ears and kissed him, just to keep him quiet. “Shut up. Okay, fine. You win.”
“Always do when I’m with you,” Leo grinned. Jason looked pleased for a split second before realizing that meant he always lost, so Leo took his turn to kiss his boyfriend quiet. “Okay, now, get a move on. Ship won’t fix itself in this universe.”
Jason heaved a very put-upon sigh and they got into position, Leo standing at the edge of the deck with Jason to his back. Jason looped their arms together then flexed, locking Leo securely in place, and Leo felt his heart pound in his chest in abject terror before he pressed back hard against Jason, then he took a step.
For several pounding heartbeats Leo was sure he was going to die, propped up against a flying Jason as he scaled down the side of a boat several hundred feet in the air in a mockery of a chimney climb that Leo had only ever seen in The Emporor’s New Groove. Then, he realized he was, in fact, still alive and he let out a somewhat hysterical giggle of relief. “Holy shit, I can’t believe that worked.”
“What does that mean?” Jason asked sharply. “You were the one who said this was a good idea!”
“I said it was a Leo idea, actually,” Leo corrected.
“You made chicken noises at me when you thought you were gonna die?”
“Nah, I wasn’t worried about dying,” Leo said, all false bravado and confidence again. “You’re here. I knew I’d be fine.”
That shut Jason right on up, just like Leo knew it would. Jason loved being told that he was reliable, that Leo, specifically, relied on him. Leo didn’t see the harm in indulging him every now and then, especially when it was always, always true.
“Okay, let’s get this show on the road!” Leo ordered, shattering the moment. “We’ve got a boat to fix.”
Together, they slowly, carefully made their way down the side of the ship, Jason standing on thin air and Leo wedged between him and the boat, until they were in position. Leo was right in front of the breech, it would be an easy fix, all he needed to do was reach up and– Oh. Right.
“Uhh, Jace?”
Jason stiffened behind him, and Leo winced in sympathy. “I hate when you say my name like that.”
Leo opened his mouth to argue, then stopped and sucked his teeth. “Okay, fair. Moving on, I, uh, may have not thought every last detail of this plan through.”
“What does that mean?”
“It means that I need my hands, ergo my arms, free to actually do the thing.”
“Okay, so? Just reach up and do it.” Leo arched an eyebrow Jason couldn’t see and tried to tug his arms free, and Jason immediately gripped him tighter. “Oh.”
“Yeah, oh.” Jason was silent for a moment too long, so Leo blew a raspberry. “Well, now what?”
“Why are you asking me?” Jason said somewhat defensively. “I should be asking you that. You’re the idea guy, I’m just the jetpack guy.”
Leo bit his tongue in thought as he scowled up at the hull. He needed to fix the ship, and considering they were flying over the middle of the Atlantic, landing was not an option. Scaffolding would have been the easy solution, but that would require either going back in time to give his past self foresight, or several days of work and materials present day Leo didn’t have. All Leo had was his jetpack boyfriend.
He paused. He thought about that. Jetpack. A grin curled over his mouth as he got another Leo idea. “Hey, Jace?”
Jason heaved a sigh, knowing he was about to lose again. “Yeah?”
“How do you feel about dating a human backpack?”
5) The Deck
Leo had suffered more than anyone ever. He was actively suffering more than anyone ever. And, no, he wasn’t talking about his mom dying, growing up a periodically homeless orphan, having his memories manipulated so that he thought he was dating the perfect boy only to have it ripped away, or even all the nonsense and bullshit with Giants and monsters and junk. Did that suck? Yes, obviously, he wasn’t stupid. But this? This was, somehow, worse.
Leo Valdez was seasick.
It wasn’t fair. He’d built this stupid boat himself, it was practically an extension of his soul. Not to mention that he’d literally never been motion sick before, not on car rides or flying chariots, or at any point in this two-month long quest where they’d been flying and sailing the whole damn time. He was Leo Valdez, he didn’t get seasick. He gently poked fun at his crewmates for turning green while making sure there was a steady supply of Dramamine available and keeping the ride as smooth as possible. That was his job, that’s how he stayed nice and useful.
At the moment, though, he wasn’t very useful for anything or anyone. He’d hidden himself in the most out of the way spot available on the deck, trying to keep out of sight as much as he could. He was simultaneously feverish and freezing, his skin covered in sweat and cold to the touch. He’d long since given up trying to sit upright of his own volition, instead clinging to the bars of the bannister and occasionally leaning over the side to expel what remained in his stomach. That was also unfair. He’d puked more than enough times to have run out of food, but his body just kept finding more junk for him to chunk. It wasn’t fair.
He was so lost in his own misery that it actually took him way, way too long to realize that strong, sturdy fingers were gently combing through his curls while a deep, gentle voice cooed embarrassing nonsense at him. “Mamá?”
The hand paused for a split second, but continued the moment Leo whimpered. “Not this time, sweetheart,” that gentle voice, masculine and young and definitely not his mom, said apologetically.
Leo struggled valiantly to blink open his eyes, and when the world finally came into focus, he let out a bone-deep groan that had nothing to do with his seasickness. “Go away.”
Because it wasn’t his mom sitting there, comforting him through this disgusting moment, it was his wonderful, perfect boyfriend.
“I’d really rather not, if you don’t mind,” Jason said softly. “Festus said you weren’t feeling good, so I’ve been looking all over the place for you. It seems like a bit of a waste to just leave you here after all that.”
“I’m gross,” Leo whined. “I don’t want you to look at me.”
“You are gross,” Jason agreed. “But I don’t mind. Being gross doesn’t mean you have to be alone. You took care of me after all my concussions, remember? It’s just like that.”
“That was different,” Leo protested because it was. Even injured and unwell, Jason was out of Leo’s league on his good days.
“I drooled on your shirt.”
Okay, maybe it wasn’t that different.
Jason apparently took his silence as permission to stay because he dropped his hands down to cup Leo’s cheeks and leaned in to kiss him. Would have succeeded if Leo hadn’t headbutted him, threatening concussion number who knew what. “No,” he said sharply. “Absolutely not. No kissing.”
“Why not?” Jason asked like he’d been fatally injured.
“I have puked so many times,” Leo said seriously. “It’s bad enough you’re even looking at me; I am not letting you kiss me when I have Barf Breath.”
Jason’s nose wrinkled in a combination of disgust and thought before he brightened. Then, before Leo could react, he leaned in and pressed a line of hard kisses across Leo’s cheeks and nose. Then he moved his thumbs to cover Leo’s lips and planted a big old kiss right on Leo’s shielded mouth. “Mwah! Kisses with no Barf Breath involved.”
Leo felt tears well up in his eyes and he let out a wet chuckle. “You’re stupid.”
Jason just looked at him like he hung the stars. “Is that a bad thing?”
Leo couldn’t speak, he just furiously shook his head and prayed to any god who would listen for Jason to understand that it wasn’t even remotely a bad thing, that it was the most wonderful thing in the world, that he was the most wonderful thing in the world. Leo didn’t have to speak, though; Jason always understood him. Jason just opened his arms in welcome, and Leo tumbled right on in, leaning all his weight on him.
They stayed like that for hours, Leo wrapped up in Jason’s sturdy arms and listening to him croon while the world spun. Jason didn’t move, not even when Leo puked in his lap, and Leo felt a tension he hadn’t even realized he was carrying melt off of his shoulders. He felt secure with Jason holding him, like he didn’t have to worry about gravity because Jason was there, and Jason would never let him fall.
+1) Bunker Nine
Leo wasn’t feeling well. In fact, he would have thought he was dying, but he knew it was too early for that. Demigods were built to survive, life clung to them like a disease. They could push their bodies past the line of endurance that a normal human could, and as a Hephaestus kid, he could go even longer. He could go days without food or rest, so long as he had a project, something he was working on. In theory, a mere three days should have been nothing.
But it wasn’t nothing. It wasn’t the same because he wasn’t working on anything. There was no device to build, no puzzle to solve, no world-saving quest to finish. There was no goal, no finish line to cross, no reason for him to make the effort of drawing in his next breath. It was just him, alone in Bunker Nine, pathetically curled in on himself, and begging his own heart to finally, finally stop.
He hadn’t seen the sun in three days. Hadn’t eaten, hadn’t slept, hadn’t moved. He had just stumbled his way into the Bunker, paused just long enough to seal the door too tight for anyone to find him, then collapsed on the floor, right there in the dust and dirt. By this point, he was delirious. He was a husk of his former self. He was nothing. Not anymore. Probably never would be again.
But then, a miracle.
Jason’s face appeared before him. His eyebrows were pinched together in that tight furrow of worry Leo knew so well, but he was still smiling at Leo like he hung the stars. He looked just like Leo remembered, soft blond hair, tiny scarred smile, and eyes bright and blue as the sky. “Oh, sweetheart,” he said so softly it hurt. “You don’t look too good.”
Leo’s eyes wanted to water, he could feel the way they ached and stung, but he couldn’t cry. He was too dehydrated for that. Instead, he just let out a soft whimper and lifted a weak, shaking hand for him. “Jace…”
Jason leaned over and pressed a kiss to Leo’s knuckles, the touch so light Leo saw it more than felt it. “It’ll be alright, Leo.”
Leo’s face screwed up and he used what little strength he had left to shake his head. “It’s not. It won’t ever be alright.”
“Yes, it will,” Jason assured him gently. “When have I ever lied to you?”
“You said you’d come back,” Leo whispered, voice cracking. “You promised.”
“And here I am, just like I said I would. Now, come here, sweetheart.” Jason sat back on his heels and opened his arms wide in invitation. There was something odd about it, though. His shirt was dusty and frayed at the seams and there was a large dark stain on his chest. Leo didn’t care. Couldn’t care. Jason still looked like shelter, like safety, like the only home Leo had ever known since he lost his mamá. Without hesitation, Leo let out a sob from the depths of his chest and tipped forward into Jason’s waiting arms.
Then his face hit the ground.
Leo’s breath hitched in his throat, enduring pain in every foul definition. Jason had let him fall. After a year of making sure Leo knew there would always be someone to catch him, Jason had dropped him. Leo’s shallow, hiccupping breaths stirred the dirt before him, and he couldn’t even blur his vision with tears as the memories came rushing back to him.
Three days. Three days ago, he’d shown up at Camp on the back of Festus. He’d smiled so eagerly at Jason’s haunted questmates. He’d said two words – Where’s Jason? – that would change his life forever. He’d gotten his answer.
Leo wondered if this was how a skydiver felt in their last moments when they realized their parachute had failed. Leo’s life was a rollercoaster, twisting and turning and trying to throw him out, but there had been one thing holding him fast, refusing to let him fall. He’d relied on one single, simple truth to assure him he’d survived. He trusted his parachute, his safety bar. One catastrophic point of failure. He couldn’t rely on Jason, never, ever again, even if he wanted to. The fact of the matter was simple. Jason would never, ever catch him again.
Because Jason Grace was dead.