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On the first day of summer vacation, a pipe breaks in the local swimming pool and the place has to close down for a month.
On the second day, Haruka's grandmother dies.
She spends the third, fourth and fifth day holed up in her room. The funeral is on the sixth day.
On the seventh day, Makoto decides that it's time for a road trip.
–
It wouldn't be Makoto if she didn't prepare for everything as best she could. She isn't obsessed with planning, but there is a difference between reasonable spontaneity and absolute disaster. So one of the following days, she asks her parents for permission to use the giant eight-seat van – they might only be a family of five, but the twins do have a lot of friends – and since they had planned to spend three weeks in a family summer camp with Ran and Ren anyway, she's lucky. She packs a bag with clothes and another one with board games and medical supplies, including enough of her hormones to last a month, and, after some deliberation, a box full of canned food and pickles, just in case. Her parents have gathered a ton of camping equipment from all of their trips; she ends up taking anything that looks even remotely useful. She also withdraws half of the money from her bank account – gas isn't cheap, and they'll have to last for some time, after all. The fastest route will take about five days, the nicest route one more. She picks their first three stops on the map and sneaks a few pillows from the couch in the living room. After she's done vacuuming the inside of the car, she finally admits to herself she's stalling for the most important part.
They're sitting on the floor of Haruka's room when Makoto drops the bomb.
“We could go to the ocean.”
Haru looks up from the photo album she's been leafing through. It's full of pictures of cute little kittens and baby turtles. Whenever Haruka feels sad, looking at a page or two usually helps; she's been reading it every day for two weeks straight now.
She snaps the album shut and nods.
–
[day 1]
The day of their departure, Haruka appears in Makoto's doorway with only one sports bag slung over her arm, as well as a plastic bag in her hand. It's probably full of tinned mackerel. She's wearing a blue sundress with a sweater tied around her hips; Makoto kind of wants to tell her how cute she looks.
“Ready?” she asks instead.
Haruka nods without saying anything. Her eyes aren't puffy anymore, but it still seems like she just wants to curl up and cry. Yet she's here, and that's all Makoto can ask for.
“Let's go, then.”
Haruka is silent for the beginning of the ride – has been for many days now, really – but Makoto anticipated that. When they've successfully left town and gotten onto the highway, she sticks a smile on her face and a CD into the radio, some airy piano music from the soundtrack to a series she doesn't really remember, and hands Haru the map with the instruction to check now and then whether they're still going the right way.
Haruka spreads the map on her lap, stares at it for a minute without really seeing it, huffs quietly, and turns her head to look out of the window. It isn't long until her eyes slip closed and her breathing evens out. Makoto can't help but worry about the amount of time Haru has spent asleep lately, but maybe it's for the best.
After about three and a half hours, Makoto decides she needs a break, badly. She turns at the next rest stop she sees, parks the car in the shadow of a tree, takes a moment to straighten her plaid shirt and then gently shakes Haru awake by the shoulder.
“Are you hungry?”
Haruka rubs her eyes and thinks about it for a moment.
“Not really. I'll come with you, though,” she adds.
She does order a latte macchiato once they're inside, which, Makoto supposes, is better than nothing. They sit in easy silence, Haru sipping her drink, Makoto munching on the salad-avocado-tuna-sandwiches she brought from home. There isn't much commotion around them; a grey-haired woman is sitting in the corner and reading a newspaper that looks like it's a week old, and three tables away from them, two girls about their age are discussing animatedly with each other.
Makoto doesn't mean to eavesdrop, she really doesn't, but she can't help it when they're being so loud.
“ – there should be other buses coming through here, we could wait and hope that one of them'll pick us up – ”
“They never do that, they have a list, we would need a ticket for that specific bus – ”
“Then maybe we could sneak in!”
“This is in no way meant to be an insult, Nagisa, but you are the exact opposite of sneaky – ”
“Rei-chan! I'm hurt!”
“Nagisa, please!” Makoto casts a careful glance at them and notices the taller one grip the other's hands. “Be serious for a minute, alright? Our bus just left without us, with our suitcases still in the trunk, and there is a ninety-percent chance that they'll be sent back to your parents' house once the driver notices because of the name tag and address, we don't have enough money with us to stay in a motel or book a train ticket, and you've just had a near-allergic reaction to the fish they serve in here, so could you please stop joking around?”
There's a moment of silence.
“We'll be fine, Rei,” the one called Nagisa eventually says. It doesn't sound very confident.
“Go talk to them.”
Makoto's head whips around, unsure of what she just heard. “Eh?”
“Go talk to them,” Haruka repeats, mumbling into her cup. “Ask them where they're going. Maybe we can give them a ride.”
“Haru – ”
“I know. I can see you want to help them. It's fine, I don't mind company. Now go.”
Makoto beams at her, then makes her way over to the talking pair.
“Ah, hello,” she starts. “Excuse me, I couldn't help but overhear you talking, and – ”
Nagisa scoffs. “Yeah, that's what they all say. But I know who you really are!”
“... Sorry?”
“You're the government agent trying to track us down!”
“Nagisa!” Rei hisses. She turns to Makoto with an apologetic smile. “Please, just ignore her. It appears we're in quite the pickle, so we're both a little jumpy.”
“Yeah, about that,” Makoto tries again. “See, my friend here and I – ” she points over to Haru still sipping her empty cup “ – we're headed for the ocean. So, if we can drop you off somewhere on the way...”
“The ocean?” Nagisa interrupts.
Rei raises her eyebrows. “That's far away.”
“I know. It's very important.”
“Yes!” Nagisa exclaims. “Rei-chan, it's perfect! You've always wanted to have a beach vacation!”
Rei doesn't seem quite convinced. “I'm not sure if it's polite to...”
“It's fine,” Makoto assures her. Haru flashes an apathetic thumbs-up.
“Well, in that case, gladly. Thank you so much for the offer. Ryugazaki Rei, by the way,” Rei says. “And this is Hazuki Nagisa.”
“Yes,” Nagisa confirms. “Also, I know how insanely attractive she is, but Rei-chan is my girlfriend so you're not allowed to hit on her.”
Rei's face freezes with wide eyes, but Makoto just grins at them.
“Got it. I'm Tachibana Makoto. My friend over there is Nanase Haruka.”
Nagisa grins back. “Good to meet you, Mako-chan! I can call you that, right? Actually, don't bother answering, because I definitely will.”
Rei sighs with a brand of exasperated fondness that tells Makoto just how used to this she already is.
–
“Sooooo,” Nagisa drawls out once they've hit the road again. “Why exactly are the two of you on a cross-country trip to the ocean?”
Makoto gets ready to give them an evasive half-truth, but to her surprise it's Haruka who answers the question.
“My grandmother died,” she says simply.
Rei averts her eyes. “My condolences.”
“Oh! And now you're on your way to the shore to release her ashes into the endless blue waves?” Nagisa slumps back into her seat with a dreamy expression. “How romantic!”
“Well, uh...” Makoto laughs uneasily. “Not exactly. We're just trying to take a break from all of it.”
“Aw, pity. It would have been so – ” She interrupts herself. “Wait. You can still do it! Symbolically, I mean.”
“Nagisa!” Rei exclaims. “Look, I agree with you that the thought of releasing a loved one's last physical trace on earth into the freedom of the ocean is an extremely beautiful one, but could you maybe not tell the two very kind people who were so generous to give us shelter in their car what they are supposed to do with the ashes of their grandmother?”
“The symbolic ashes of their grandmother.”
“What is that even supposed to mean?”
“Well, I was thinking, you could take a shoebox or something like that, yeah? And fill it with, say, some soil from a forest she might have liked, or some sand from a river, or maybe just some dirt from the road, depending on what kind of person she was, and just pour that into the ocean instead? Her soul will pass on without you having to dig up the grave. It's a win-win, basically.”
Rei opens her mouth to reply something. Once again, Haru is faster.
“I like it,” she says quietly. “We should do that.”
Makoto takes her eyes off the road for a second to look at her best friend. The dullness in Haruka's eyes hasn't faded away, but she seems to be regaining a little bit of energy – at least, that's the only logical conclusion if she's agreeing to a proposal like this.
Makoto pulls the car over to the side of the road at the next chance.
“Let's do it, then.”
They rummage through the trunk for a while – of course, Makoto didn't bring a shoe box, but she finds a big jar of pickles that should do the job just as nicely. Nagisa eats almost all of them on the spot since she couldn't finish her meal at the rest stop; she fills the leftovers into a plastic container from her backpack.
“For later,” she clarifies.
Once they're moving forward again, Makoto watches through the rear view mirror how Nagisa produces a water-proof sharpie from her pocket (what other things does she have with her?) and starts scribbling onto the jar.
“I'll put 'Rest in peace, Grandma Nanase', okay?”
Haruka nods absent-mindedly. Nagisa pokes her tongue through her teeth, concentrating on the writing. Rei peers over her shoulder with a frown.
“What on earth is the butterfly doing there? Apart from that, you've drawn a dolphin, an orca, a penguin and other marine animals.”
“I think it looks pretty!” Nagisa blinks up at Rei and presses a kiss to her cheek. “Just like you.”
Rei goes completely red in the face; Makoto has to stifle a laugh.
“Grandma would have loved it,” she says.
Next to her, she can see Haru nearly smiling.
–
Time passes far more quickly with four people inside the car instead of two, especially since one of them is Nagisa who never seems to run out of things to say, and before they know it the sky has turned dark and Makoto starts feeling like her eyelids are made of lead.
Luckily, they reach the first stop she's planned just half an hour after sunset. It's a little camping site on the outskirts of town where they can park their car and use the bathroom facilities for a reasonable fee. While Haruka is off to take a shower, Makoto digs some more sandwiches out of their food box.
“Would you like some?” she asks over her shoulder. “I've got four left with tuna and avocado and three with cream cheese and cucumber.”
Rei trades a look with Nagisa. “We – we really wouldn't want to take advantage of your – ”
“It's okay,” Makoto hurries to say. “They'll taste stale tomorrow anyway. We'll just have to find a supermarket in the morning before we leave.” She doesn't miss how Rei's eyes light up when she says 'we'.
“You're the best, Mako-chan,” Nagisa says earnestly. “Thank you so much.” She then goes straight for one of the cream cheese sandwiches.
“Still,” Rei says, fidgeting in her seat, “maybe Nagisa and I should go rent a tent. Or, perhaps, were you planning to sleep in a hotel room?”
Makoto knows what Rei is trying to do, but she isn't having any of that today. “As I said, it's okay. The van has three seat rows, and we can put the backrests down; if you can share a row, the four of us should fit easily.”
“Oh, don't worry,” Nagisa says around a mouthful of sandwich, “Rei-chan and I can share tiny spaces just fine. Besides, I sleep under any circumstance.”
“That is correct,” Rei agrees with a light frown. “Worryingly so, in fact.”
Makoto barely has time to wonder what kind of stories come with Nagisa's allegedly eccentric sleeping habits before Haru comes back from the shower, already changed into her night clothes with a towel on her head.
“I'm tired,” she announces. “I'll go sleep.”
Nagisa makes a sad face at that – no doubt would she have liked to find out some more about the mysterious girl with the baby blue dolphin pyjamas – but Makoto just nods and helps her set up their makeshift bed. Haru's mood has gotten a little bit better today, and that's enough already.
While Haruka curls under one of their blankets and nearly immediately falls asleep, Makoto goes back to sit with her new passengers for a while. Nagisa digs a card game out of her backpack, Rei opens a pack of nuts and raisins she's been carrying around, and they stay awake until Makoto's eyelids really do feel like lead.
–
[day 2]
“We should buy ice cream,” Haruka says, contemplating the freezing aisle.
“It's going to melt.”
“Don't pretend like you didn't bring a freeze box.”
“Point taken.” Makoto smiles and, after picking up a bag of chips and six fresh tomatoes, walks over to her best friend. “Which one do you want?”
“Maple syrup and walnuts.”
“That one's expensive!”
“Vanilla then.”
“Sorry, Haru-chan. I'm not buying anything that plain.”
“I told you not to call me that.”
Makoto taps her fingers against the glass. “Old habits die hard. How about one tub of blueberry, one tub of chocolate? They'll mix well, and Nagisa kind of strikes me as the berry type.”
“What does that even mean?” Haru mumbles. Makoto catches another of her almost-smiles.
Once they've stocked up on vegetables and snacks for the following two days, Makoto and Haru walk back to the camping site where Rei and Nagisa have already rearranged the seats in the van and seem to be ready to go.
Makoto tosses Rei a pair of toothbrushes she got from the supermarket.
“The one thing I'd really prefer not to share,” she says with a grin. Rei smiles back and thanks her.
“Haru-chan!” Nagisa calls. “Before we leave, we should get some symbolic ash for your grandmother from the site! This was our first stop, after all!”
Haru obediently walks over to Nagisa and helps her find a nice patch of grass where they can dig up some soil. The decorated pickle jar is clutched tightly in her hand.
Rei seems to have noticed Makoto's half-fond, half-puzzled look.
“Nagisa has a way of wrapping people around her finger even if they don't want to, doesn't she?”
“I guess that's one way to put it.”
Soon enough, they're back on the highway. It's warmer today than it had been the day before; Makoto has rolled her window all the way down and the sweat still trickles down her forehead. She can't express her gratitude when Haru wordlessly hands her an already unscrewed water bottle so she can drink without having to stop the car. Unfortunately, none of the others have a driver's license yet – Rei and Nagisa being a year too young, Haruka simply not really seeing the need as Makoto has hers already – so she's kind of stuck behind the steering wheel for now.
Meanwhile, the temperature seems to rob Nagisa of random things to talk about, and she complains about the heat and then the boredom for a while until Rei gets the deck of cards out again and they try to rope Haru into a game of poker, with a bag of jelly babies at stake. Unfortunately they've eaten all of the sweets before they even finish the fourth round.
Rei searches through her bag for a while and pulls out a pack of mint-and-strawberry-flavoured candy, each piece wrapped individually in a shiny green and pink wrapper. Nagisa squeals in delight.
“Wouldn't have taken you for a sweets kind of person, Rei,” Makoto comments lightly.
Rei pushes her glasses up her nose. “I'm not. I'm just... holding onto them. For Nagisa.”
“Aw Rei-chan,” Nagisa coos. “Always so thoughtful!”
“It's nothing special. You asked for me to buy them, after all.”
Nagisa shakes her head dismissively and nuzzles into Rei's side. “Doesn't mean I can't thank you for it.”
“Nagisa! At that angle, you will be able to look into my cards!”
“Oh, really? What a coincidence.”
Makoto tunes out their bickering-slash-flirting and focuses back onto the road, but her eyes land on Haru for a second who is wearing an even more thoughtful expression than usual.
After a short break at a restaurant on the roadside with delightful pizza and an even more delightful playground (according to Nagisa) and a few more hours of driving, they reach the second stop Makoto had in mind – it's another camping site, but this time far bigger, and, most importantly, it has a swimming pool. It's early evening when they get there, and Nagisa wastes no time. As soon as the car is parked, she hops out and heads off to the water.
Five minutes later, she comes back with a sheepish expression on her face.
“I guess my swimsuit's still in the suitcase back in the bus...”
“Borrow one of mine,” Haru says immediately. “I have several. Just take one out of that bag.”
“Really? Thanks, Haru-chan!”
She opens the trunk of the car and starts digging through the sports bag, Rei at her side, probably trying to prevent her from creating too much chaos. Makoto leans over to open her door, expecting Haru to do the same – there is a pool, after all – but her best friend doesn't move.
“Is everything alright?” Makoto asks quietly. Haru stares straight ahead.
“I've never properly thanked you,” she says eventually.
“For what?”
“For taking me on this trip. For doing all of this for me.” Haru takes a deep breath. “Thank you.”
Makoto can't say she expected this. “I... it's not just for you,” she says weakly, knowing her friend will see through it. “Road trips are fun.”
“You don't even like the ocean.”
Haru's voice kind of breaks on the last word, and her eyes are even shinier than usual, and Makoto really, really doesn't want her to cry.
Luckily Nagisa's voice is loud enough to carry over to them and make both of them turn their heads.
“Several? Haru-chan, just how many swimsuits did you bring?”
The pool is far too short and crowded for anything even remotely close to swimming laps, but Haru seems content to just float around while Nagisa splashes all of them with water. Rei is very quick to retaliate, sending the drops flying with near-professional precision. She soon starts to attack Makoto as well. Makoto wonders if that means they're officially friends now.
They sit together again when the sun is down; this time, Haru doesn't excuse herself to go to bed early. Nagisa wants to make a campfire, just for the atmosphere, but the camping site policies don't exactly allow it, so they sit around Makoto's camping stove instead while they wait for the broccoli cream soup to heat up.
“Mako-chan, you brought an entire restaurant!” Nagisa exclaims when it's finally ready and she digs her spoon in. “Not that I'm complaining.”
Makoto supposes she could have packed less food and relied a little bit more on what they could buy on the way, but her funds aren't exactly unlimited – at least the stuff she took out of their own pantry is already paid for.
They talk a little bit about the schools they're going to – Nagisa and Rei seem to have quite a few horrendous stories about a math teacher who hoards matchsticks, old wooden yo-yos and severed doll heads in her desk drawer, probably for some kind of satanic ritual – and about the worst summer jobs they've had – Makoto wins this round with a re-telling of her four-week-experience in a hotel that seemed like it was straight out of a horror movie. At some point, Haruka leaves abruptly only to come back with the two tubs of ice cream they bought this morning.
“So,” Makoto starts once everyone is served. Ice cream does taste best at night. “Why are you two here?”
Nagisa freezes, half-leaned over Rei to try and steal some blueberry ice cream from her bowl. “Does Mako-chan not want us around anymore?”
“No! No. I mean, why are you on a trip? Where were you even going?”
For some reason, Nagisa looks nervous. “Uh. Just some spontaneous traveling with the girlfriend? See where the road takes us?” She makes it sound like a question.
Rei sighs. “I'm sorry, Makoto-san, but the subject is a little bit touchy – ”
“No!” Nagisa exclaims. She takes a deep breath. “You're right. You told us why you're going, it's only fair if I do the same. Besides, you haven't left us on the roadside or murdered us in our sleep yet, so I'll assume I can trust you.” Her trademark smile is there, but it looks pained. Makoto is pretty sure she can feel her heart break a little. “My parents kicked me out. When they found out about Rei.”
“It was – a stupid mistake on my part,” Rei murmurs. “I knew they were suspicious, I shouldn't have left my phone lying around like that at your house – ”
“It's not your fault,” Nagisa says with emphasis on every word. “We'll figure something out.” She leans into Rei's side and twines their hands together.
Makoto bites her lip. What can she say to that? “I'm ... Look, Nagisa, if you ever need a place to stay, our house is really big, we have a guest room and everything. I know it's not a long-term solution, but if you just need to get away for some time – ”
“Are you sure your parents wouldn't mind?” Nagisa interrupts.
Makoto shrugs. “I mean, they don't mind me being trans. I doubt they'd mind me or anyone else being gay. You'd have to help around the house, though,” she adds. “I have two younger twin siblings who need a lot of attention. They'd probably love you.”
“Mako-chan...” Nagisa starts blinking very quickly. “Thank you so much. I hope I won't have to take you up on that offer.” She turns to Rei who is busy stroking her hair. “I'm really glad that bus left without us, Rei-chan.”
Makoto chuckles. “So am I. You guys make for great company.”
Nagisa wipes over her face a few times until her smile is back in place, more sly this time.
“So, Mako-chan. Are you, then?”
“Am I what?”
“Gay.”
“Oh.”
“You really don't have to answer this,” Rei says quickly and with a glare directed at her girlfriend.
“It's fine.” Makoto can feel Haru's eyes burning into her side. She resolutely doesn't look at her. “I mean, yeah, I probably am.”
Nagisa gives an excited squeal, so Makoto quickly redirects the conversation by asking how the two of them met. Nagisa insists it was love at first sight – “That's not true at all! You were pestering me for two weeks so you could recruit me for the drama club instead of chess!” “That was just a cover story, Rei-chan! Actually I wanted to recruit you for my heart!” “How can you even say such a sappy thing?” “And for my bed, too.” “Nagisa!” – which in turn leads them to discussing the various adventures of Makoto and Haruka since their first meeting.
When they reach the accidentally-starting-a-fire-in-the-hardware-store-incident, Makoto decides it's time to go to bed.
Much like the previous night, Haruka comes back from the showers with damp hair and her dolphin pyjamas, only this time she doesn't lay down on the second row of seats, but curls herself around Makoto instead.
–
[day 3]
“Look!” Nagisa exclaims, pointing out of the window. “Sunflowers!”
Sure enough, a gigantic sea of yellow stretches out on either side of the road. It's almost blindingly bright, and Makoto is a little bit worried she won't be able to keep her eyes on the road like that, but Nagisa insists on stopping to pick some of the flowers anyway. She takes off with Rei, a firm hand around her wrist, to find the biggest and most beautiful sunflower she can; Makoto and Haru wait for them, leaning against the car and sharing a box of orange juice.
It isn't long before they hear voices calling for them.
“Hey! You over there! See, Momo, I told you I saw a car! Can you hear me?”
“Holy shit! We're so lucky! Heeeey!”
“Guys, please! Maybe they're not even going our way – ”
“Have a bit of faith, Ai-chan!”
Makoto rounds the car and sees three girls jogging up to them – two with bright red hair, one with grey strands trailing a little bit behind, and each of them with a medium-sized backpack.
“Hey,” the oldest of them says, a little bit out of breath. “Mikoshiba Seiko's the name. Say, you guys wouldn't happen to head down the road over there? We really, really need a lift to that town a few hours away.”
“Please?” the other redhead adds, with puppy eyes that could rival Nagisa's. “It's for a wedding.”
“We would have gotten there on our own,” the grey-haired girl elaborates some more, “but there was a... a pretty big misunderstanding. I'm still not sure how it even happened,” she mumbles, more to herself.
“Uh.” Makoto feels a bit overwhelmed; a detached part of her brain notices that they still have four free seats left in the car, so it should be fine. “Could you show me on the map?”
“Seriously?” the one called Seiko exclaims. “You, milady, are a life saver. Oh, this idiot is Momo, by the way, and that's Nitori – ”
“Ai is fine,” the grey-haired girl quickly says.
“Tachibana Makoto,” Makoto says, wondering how many more times she's going to introduce herself on this trip. “And Nanase Haruka. We have two more passengers, Hazuki Nagisa and Ryugazaki Rei, but they're off picking sunflowers somewhere.”
Seiko raises an eyebrow. “Is that what they call it these days?”
“I'll pick a sunflower for you, too, Ai-chan!”
Ai goes bright red; Makoto pretends she didn't hear anything and digs the map out of the car. The town that Seiko points out deviates a little bit from their planned route, and the road looks kind of complicated, what with all the turns they'll have to take, but they should reach it within the day just fine.
“Don't worry,” Seiko says. “I have a GPS system on my phone.”
–
When, two hours after sunset, they still haven't arrived at their destination, Makoto has to admit that they're completely lost.
“I don't understand,” Seiko says for the seventh time today, frowning heavily. She has taken the seat next to Makoto so she could guide her better, a plan that has obviously backfired. Haruka is seated right between Nagisa and Momo, which is a position Makoto doesn't envy; Rei and Ai are quietly chatting in the backseat. From time to time, Momo turns around to flick Ai's forehead, or to plant a kiss there, or both in random succession.
“We should stop for today,” Haruka suddenly says, right in the middle of a heated discussion between Momo and Nagisa about which of the Avengers is the most morally grey one.
Makoto worries her lip. “We're in the middle of nowhere, though.”
“Doesn't matter. It's fine for a night. We'll only get more lost in the dark, you're tired, and I don't want you to drive us into a ditch.”
Momo sighs. “And here I thought we were going to sleep in a nice hotel...”
“Get yourself together, Momo!” Seiko exclaims. “Mother nature is the best hotel!”
There is no way all seven of them are going to fit in the car, so Seiko, Momo and Ai do indeed set up their sleeping bags in the open field. While the two sisters join Nagisa, Rei and Haruka for another game of poker – Haru is insanely good at it – Ai helps Makoto prepare dinner.
“I'm so sorry!” she blurts out after fifteen minutes of nervous silence. “Without us, you wouldn't have gotten lost like this. You're probably regretting taking us with you now.”
Makoto blinks. “What? No. We're not in a hurry, after all.” She smiles. “I think getting lost should be part of the journey, right?”
“Uh. Maybe?”
“Who is getting married, anyway?”
Ai smiles back hesitantly. “An old friend of Seiko-oneesan's. They were very close as kids, and she's practically a second sister to Momo. I'm kind of, uh, just tagging along.”
“I see.” Makoto gets up to check whether she remembered to take some kind of seasoning with her, but Ai quickly stops her, saying that she collected some thyme and rosemary from the side of the road early this morning and goes to get them out of her backpack. Makoto notices the two small boxes of pills rolling around on the floor of the van right before Ai does.
“Oh, sorry!” she says, quickly picking up the meds. “They must have slipped out. It's, ah, anxiety medication. And hormones. I don't know why I just said that.”
“Ah, good to know,” says Makoto, completely undeterred. “I thought they were mine for a second.”
This time, Ai's smile is a little bit less hesitant.
–
[day 4]
As it turns out, they aren't as completely lost as they thought. Makoto makes sure to ignore Seiko's directions this time and relies instead on what Haruka tells her from the backseat, map spread on her lap again. She has replaced her sundress with a t-shirt and a pair of thin baggy pants and already looks far more relaxed despite the commotion around her. Rei has borrowed a set of Makoto's clothes, while Nagisa is short enough to use one of Makoto's bigger t-shirts as a dress, combined with a belt she braided out of sunflowers. She's plucked the seeds and even a few petals off to put them in Grandma Nanase's symbolic ash jar. Momo, Seiko and Ai are still in their clothes from the night before, but Ai has assured Makoto that they're going to wear something else for the wedding anyway. They have until this afternoon to arrive in time for the ceremony, which will be close if they get lost again; Makoto still decides to be optimistic.
She isn't even surprised when halfway through the morning, their car breaks down.
“Well. Shit,” Seiko voices what they're all thinking.
Makoto hops out of the van and opens the hood. She's no expert, but she does know some stuff about cars, and it can't be that difficult, can it?
As it turns out, it can. Even with the combined efforts of Makoto, Rei, Nagisa and, surprisingly, Momo, they don't manage figure out what exactly is wrong. Everything looks like it should be working just fine.
Makoto sighs and grabs her phone. “Well, seems we have no choice. I'll try to call someone.” With dismay, she notices her battery is almost empty. Oh, she can always borrow the phone of – “Wait. Has anyone seen Haru?”
Haru, as it turns out, shows up again five minutes later with two more girls in tow, both with dark-red hair and clothes that seem very adapted to traveling. One of them is taller, much more muscular, and has a snarl etched on her face while she talks to Haru.
“So, where's that car you were going on about, Nanase?”
Haruka points at the van; the two girls immediately head for the open hood and get to work.
“Seems like this piece over there is dislodged,” says the shorter one. “Do you have a wrench?”
Makoto snaps into action, helping the two of them as best she can. Within fifteen minutes, they're done, closing the hood.
“That should do it.”
Makoto blinks. “Thank... you?”
“Don't mention it,” the taller one waves off. “Matsuoka Rin, and that's my sister Kou. You're Tachibana, right?” Without waiting for an answer, she rounds the car, opens the trunk and tosses her bag inside. “Now, Nanase, that ride you promised us?”
“They said they'd help if they could come with us,” Haruka explains, unhelpfully. Makoto winces.
“You do realise that we're one seat short?”
Haruka's cheeks grow red as she seems to count in her head again. “It may have slipped my mind.”
“What's going on?”
Seiko and the others round the corner, coming back from their fruitless search for a payphone. Her eyes widen at the side of the two newcomers. She walks forward and stops just one step short of Kou.
“Wait a second.” She squints and leans down. Kou seems frozen in place. “You're cute.”
“You're muscular,” Kou returns in the same disbelieving tone.
“Ah, see,” Makoto hurries, “Matsuoka Rin-san and Kou-san just repaired our car for us, so they'll be with us for a while. These are the rest of our passengers. Mikoshiba Seiko-san-”
“Just call me Seiko,” Seiko says, gripping Kou's hands who doesn't seem to mind at all. “Please.”
“- then we have Mikoshiba Momo over here and Nitori Ai, and Hazuki Rei and Ryugazaki Nagisa – no, ah, wait, the other way round, and I'm Tachibana Makoto, and, well,” she finishes weakly, “you've met Haru already.”
Rin raises an eyebrow. “How the hell do you know each other?”
Rei pushes her glasses up her nose. “It's a little complicated, Matsuoka-san. More importantly, we seem to be nine people, but there are only eight seats –”
“Kou-san can have my seat,” Seiko says without hesitation. “I'll lay on the floor. Or in the trunk, it doesn't matter.”
Kou looks touched. “Seiko-san...”
“Besides, we should reach our destination soon. It won't be long.”
“Where are you guys going?” Rin wants to know. Makoto shows her on the map. “Oh, I know that place. There's a shortcut from here. I can give you directions if you want to.”
“That would be amazing,” Makoto sighs. “I'm surprised I even made it through three days of driving without getting absolutely sick of maps.”
“What? Hold on.” Rin's eyes narrow. “Three days? You've been driving these people around for three days straight?”
“Uh. Yeah? I mean, we stopped from time to time, but-”
“No, no, don't say a thing.” She plucks the keys out of Makoto's limp hand. “I'm driving. You take a fucking break.”
“Thank you,” Haruka says instead of Makoto, who is still a little bit puzzled. Rin nods at Haru as if they have some kind of secret agreement.
At first, she's a little bit nervous to hand the wheel over to someone else and spends about twenty minutes fidgeting in her seat until she accepts that Rin does indeed know what she's doing, driving with a cool, detached sort of ease. A part of Makoto hopes Haru hasn't noticed how attractive their new driver looks, but a look into the mirror tells her that her friend is too busy trying to teach Nagisa how to fold a flower out of the mint-and-strawberry-candy's pink and green wrapping paper.
“It's so cute,” Kou breathes, eyes fixed on Haruka's handiwork with reverence.
“I want to learn it, too,” comes Seiko's voice from somewhere around their feet.
“Why can't I seem to make it work?” Nagisa whines. “Mine looks all wonky.”
“Look at how Rei-san does it.”
“What? Rei-chan, yours looks even more perfect than Haru-chan's! It's so symmetrical!”
“Well, Nagisa, the key to that is a lot of patience, precision and-”
“Oh, oh! Ai knows how to fold a llama! Show them, Ai-chan!”
“That's not true! I made a llama once, but there were, like, twenty steps or something – ”
“A llama? You can make a llama?”
“I think flowers are cuter.”
“What? How can you say that, Kou-chan?”
“While a llama might exhibit the greater cuteness of the two, Nagisa, I would have to agree with Kou-san that the flower's beauty is far superior.”
“Now you're backstabbing me as well?”
“Does it really matter that much?”
Rin sighs heavily and turns on the radio, just loud enough to reduce the chatter to background noise. “Seriously. You've had to listen to that for three days?”
“We weren't all that many at first,” Makoto amends. “Besides, it's soothing. At least they're having fun.”
Rin snorts. “So you're the mum friend, huh?”
“I, uh. What?”
“'s fine. Someone's gotta look out for the team, right?” She stares ahead at the road, contemplating. “You probably have younger siblings, too.”
“Yeah, a pair of twins. Ran and Ren. They're a lot of work, but...” Makoto trails off. “It feels nice to be needed, you know?”
“Yeah, I know what you mean. Kou's just a year younger than me, but I'd do anything for her. We haven't – it hasn't been –”
“You don't have to tell me anything,” Makoto quickly says. She knows what a face looks like on the verge of tears, and Rin is definitely making that face. Rin drags a hand over her eyes.
“Yeah. Maybe later.”
Haruka chooses that moment to lean forward and tap on Makoto's shoulder. When Makoto turns her head to inquire what the matter is, Haru slips the green and pink wrapping paper flower into her hair.
“It brings out your eyes,” she says, as if that explains everything. Makoto hopes her cheeks aren't getting too red.
Thanks to Rin's superior sense of orientation, they make it to the wedding site right in time. Momo pulls everyone into a group hug, almost squishing Rei's glasses in the process, Ai keeps forgetting that she has already thanked Rin for driving them without getting them lost and ends up doing it about four times in total, and Seiko gives Kou her number and a gallant kiss on the hand.
“I think I'm in love,” Kou whispers as they wave the trio goodbye.
“No shit,” Rin snorts.
After stocking up on supplies – Haru's stack of mackerel has grown alarmingly thin – they climb back into the van. Makoto insists on driving again this time, Rei in the seat next to her; Nagisa and Kou are behind them, trying to see which of them can fold the most wrapping paper flowers. Haruka and Rin are in the far back, one seat apart. They talk in hushed tones about god knows what, but the gap between them doesn't grow smaller. Makoto feels guilty at the relief that floods through her.
They reach the stop Makoto had planed just as the sun goes down. There's no pool this time, but some strange blobs of pink goop in the showers, and the supervisor of the camping site doesn't seem to understand half of the things Makoto tells her.
Haru still sleeps curled into Makoto though, so it's all fine.
–
[day 5]
“I couldn't find any camping sites for the next stretch of the road,” Makoto explains over breakfast, “so it looks like we'll spend a few nights out in the open.”
“Maybe we could get, like, a motel room?” Nagisa suggests. Rin huffs at that.
“Yeah, we could, if we weren't all broke as fuck.”
Nagisa makes a face. It doesn't take a genius to guess why she'd want a little bit of privacy for a change.
“The weather report says it won't rain,” Kou explains in an attempt to console her. “It'll be beautiful, with the stars overhead and all.”
“So you're okay with this, Kou-chan?”
“I've gone camping with Rin countless times. I don't mind.”
“Unless it's two a.m. and you start whining about how cold it is.”
“Remind me, who's the one who always has to kick the cockroaches out of our tent?”
“They're super gross, okay?”
“Either way,” Makoto says loudly while spreading cherry jam over her slice of bread, “we need to have that in mind in case any of you guys still need to buy something. Also, keep the fish away from Nagisa. We really can't afford a reaction like yesterday.”
Nagisa pouts. “It wasn't even that bad. Plus, Rei-chan has a ton of allergy meds in her bag. Right?”
“Not just allergy meds, but yes. If anyone gets bitten by a snake, turn to me.” She flashes a smirk. “I know what to do.”
“Oh, Rei-chan! Always looking out for me!”
“Are you two usually that cheesy?” Rin scoffs. She tries to make her face look grumpy, but Makoto can tell she's actually touched.
Then, in her typical blunt manner, Haruka delivers the blow.
“Who's looking out for you, Rin?”
Rin freezes, going completely silent. So do Rei and even Nagisa; Makoto swears she could hear a pin drop right now. She desperately wants to defuse the situation; at the same time, if it causes such a reaction, maybe Rin needs this question.
Rin's eyes narrow.
“I do,” she says eventually. Then she goes back to biting down on her ham sandwich with much more vigour than needed.
Makoto risks a look at Haru, but her friend acts like nothing happened, nibbling on a piece of mackerel.
–
There's only so many things one can do while on the road, and everyone's tired of poker by now – they all know Haru will win anyway – so Kou and Nagisa have taken up the task of setting up a game of Monopoly, balancing it on the seat between them. Rin is behind the wheel again, determined to not let Makoto drive more than exactly half of their planned way; Rei is sitting next to her this time, leaving Haruka and Makoto on the back seat.
About ten minutes into the game, Haru decides that apparently, seatbelts are overrated, and unbuckles hers to lay down on the seats, her head in Makoto's lap.
“Tired?” Makoto asks, unable to stop herself from running a hand through her friend's soft hair.
“Just a little.” Haru looks up to her, and the almost-smile on her face turns into an actual smile. “You're comfortable.”
“Haru-chan! It's your turn!” Nagisa calls. “I want to buy Atlantic Avenue off of you!”
“You can't buy anything. You're in jail, Nagisa,” Rei reminds her. Predictably enough, she has taken on the role of the bank director.
“Oh, really?” Nagisa leans forward with a sly smile and sticks her head between Rei's and Rin's seats. “Then what are you going to do to me, officer Ryugazaki?”
“Until you pay your bail, absolutely nothing.”
“Aw, come on! Can't you bail me out? That's what a good girlfriend is supposed to do!”
“I'm sure Seiko-san would bail me out,” Kou muses, a dreamy expression on her face.
“More the other way round,” Rin snorts. She twists her head around for a second. “Oi, Nanase.”
Haru barely looks up from Makoto's lap. “What?”
“I've been meaning to ask. What's in that jar you keep carrying around?”
Haru cradles the jar to her chest. “My grandmother's ashes.”
“Yeah, no. You see, I'm trying to convince myself since yesterday that this isn't just some really weird dream, and so far, you're not helping.”
Haru's head drops back onto Makoto's thigh. “I think it's a nice dream.”
In the end, Kou wins the game, partly because she makes for a very smart businesswoman, partly because Haruka doesn't really care, Makoto somehow has a hard time concentrating, and Nagisa is just plain bad at playing Monopoly. She is busy ripping open the last bag of jelly babies that has been designated as the prize for the winner when Rin lets out a loud groan.
“Your weather report was lying, Kou.”
Makoto looks outside the window, and surely enough a row of dark clouds is looming over the horizon. By the time they decide it's time for a lunch break, rain is already splattering all over the parking lot at the rest stop. Nagisa is euphoric and drags Rei out with her to improvise a little dance in the rain, which ends with Rei not seeing a thing anymore because of the water on her glasses and Nagisa having to forcibly drag her head down to kiss her. Makoto really hopes that she'll be invited to their wedding. Haru, too, looks fairly happy about the water from the sky, while Rin makes a face and tosses Kou her leather jacket so she can hold it over her head.
The plastic chairs outside are all wet, so they sit inside the cozy little cafeteria. Makoto volunteers to take their orders, with Kou offering to help her carry the trays. The selection of sandwiches is a bit meagre, but they have an impressive amount of cake slices to choose from.
“Hey, Kou,” Makoto ponders, “does Rin like coconut?”
“Why?”
“She looks like she could use a dessert.” Makoto pauses for a moment. “Actually, so do you. What can I get you?”
Kou stares at her. “I couldn't –”
“Pick whatever you want. My treat.”
“Makoto-san...” Kou bites her lip.
Then she breaks into tears.
Makoto feels entirely too unprepared for this. “Oh god, Kou, I'm sorry, did I say something wrong?”
“N-no,” she sniffles, “you just, you sounded like mum there for a second.”
That statement is full of things Makoto can't bear to think about right now, damn, she was just trying to buy some cake, but she guesses it's not a real road trip without a few breakdowns, so she sets the tray down on the counter and gathers Kou into her arms.
Kou clutches the front of her plaid shirt, which, Makoto belatedly realises, she's been wearing for far too many days already; right now she's thankful that it makes her look a bit more like an adult. She rubs Kou's back until the sobbing subsides into quiet hiccups. Kou mumbles something that Makoto doesn't quite catch.
“What is it?”
“I said, Rin's a sucker for coconut. And I really love raspberry cake.”
Makoto lets out a breath she didn't know she was holding.
They return with two trays full of food; Nagisa immediately busies herself with distributing it, making sure Rei gets more than her so she can steal from her plate. Rin raises her eyebrows and throws Makoto a sharp glance when she notices her sister's puffy eyes, but Kou smiles bravely and shakes her head. It looks like Makoto's not getting murdered today.
The rain doesn't stop all afternoon, and just after sunset comes the thunderstorm. Sleeping outside isn't really an option anymore, and neither is using the camping stove. Haruka, who is actually a fairly creative cook once she gets over her obsession with mackerel, makes them a salad with canned lentils, tomatoes, cucumber and feta cheese.
“Beluga lentils,” she explains to whoever is listening. “Like the whale.”
Three rows of seats are a little bit tight for six sleeping people. The close quarters coupled with the storm raging outside make it difficult for Makoto to fall asleep; when fatigue finally catches up to her, the rest is an uneasy one.
She dreams of the ocean; it's probably the thunder's noise that her brain tries to incorporate. She dreams of waves and whirlpools and ships cracking in the middle, wood splinters floating through the sea.
She dreams of drowning.
It's not her own scream that wakes her, but Haruka's muffled voice against her ear.
“Makoto. Wake up.”
She blinks. She doesn't feel like she's slept at all. Everything is cold, except for Haru's hands on her face.
“Did I wake anyone?” is her first whispered question.
“Yeah, me,” Rin grumbles quietly. “You kind of hit me in the face.”
“Are you okay?” Haruka asks, ignoring her completely. Makoto nods.
“Just a bad dream.” She swallows; it doesn't taste like seawater. “About the ocean.”
Haruka helps her sit up and holds onto her arm; the contact is soothing, and soon Makoto breathes steadily again. Nagisa, Rei and Kou are still asleep.
“I didn't really hurt you, did I?” she asks Rin. The girl shakes her head.
“It was just a swat. Kou says I can be a bit, uh, dramatic at times.”
Haru rolls her eyes, which makes Makoto chuckle quietly. They fall into an easy silence.
“Speaking of Kou,” Makoto says after a while. She isn't sure she should ask this, but the late hour and the lack of sleep are making her bold. “Rin, what happened to your mother?”
Rin tenses visibly. “What did she tell you?”
“Nothing. She kind of just started crying after I asked which slice of cake she wanted.”
Rin seems to consider it, raking her hand through her hair a few times. Finally, she deflates with a long, heavy sigh.
“Died in the hospital a few months ago. Our father was already dead – has been for a long time, I barely remember him – and we don't have other relatives living nearby. They wanted to put us into foster families, but I wasn't having any of that, so I told Kou to pack and we've been on the run ever since. We're getting by, but...” Her breath catches in her throat. “I really don't know where to go anymore.”
Makoto's hand is clenched into a fist. “Do you want a hug?”
Rin shrugs.
“Makoto is good at hugs,” Haruka supplies.
“Go ahead, then.”
Makoto wraps the arm that Haru isn't holding onto around Rin and pulls her close – she is good at this – and Rin sags into her completely, not even trying to look strong anymore. Haru has scooted closer as well, awkwardly running her hands over Rin's back.
“I know it's easy for me to say,” Makoto begins carefully. “But I, I believe in people's capacity to be good to each other. To just... help each other out, you know?”
Rin laughs. It sounds hollow. “Yes. Yes, of course you do.”
–
[day 6]
Nobody mentions anything, but Makoto can tell that Rin is a bit jumpy from the previous night. Makoto doesn't blame her; she probably isn't used to pouring her heart out to people who are essentially strangers, hugging ability non-withstanding. She insists on blaring loud music through the speakers, on sticking some of the muddy earth into the ash jar as fast as possible, and on having Nagisa finish the pack of granola bars.
The tipping point comes when they spot something dark a good distance ahead of them, right in the middle of the road.
Rin squints her eyes. “Oh for fuck's – why the hell is this douche standing there?”
Makoto slows down the van. “I'll go talk to them – ”
“You know what? No,” Rin snaps, already half out of the car. “I'll do it.”
Makoto sends Haru a confused glance, who shrugs and motions for her to just enjoy the show.
Five pairs of eyes are watching carefully as Rin stalks over to the stranger on the road. They're close enough to see that it's a girl, taller even than Makoto. Her flowery sundress does nothing to mitigate her intimidating appearance.
“Look at those muscles,” Kou breathes.
“Shh!” Nagisa admonishes. “I want to hear what they're saying.”
Luckily, that doesn't prove to be very difficult, as Rin is practically shouting.
“Oi! You there! Who are you?”
The stranger looks up from her map. “I'm lost.”
“Don't play dumb. What the fuck are you doing there?”
“Being lost.”
“And why is that?”
“Because I got lost.”
“Then I suggest you fucking get lost again!”
“Listen, you entitled piece of shit. This is a public road and if I want to stand here all day, then I will.”
“Yeah, and if I want to run you over with my car, then I will!”
“Where the hell is a dumbass like you going anyway?”
“To the fucking seaside!” Rin screams. “Wanna come with us?”
“To hell if I want to!”
And just like that, Rin jogs back to the van, the stranger in tow. “She's coming with us,” she announces unnecessarily.
Makoto opens her mouth, closes it, then opens it again. “What, uh. Who...”
“Ah, right. Hold on a sec.” She turns back to the stranger. “Your name, asshat?”
“Yamazaki Satsuki. You?”
“Matsuoka Rin!” She helps Satsuki get her backpack into the trunk, then holds the car's back door open for her.
“I like this one,” she tells Makoto, flopping down next to Satsuki. “Can we keep her?”
Makoto is surprised how quickly she manages to school her disbelieving expression into a warm smile.
“Sure,” she says. “Welcome to the family.”
–
Once you get to know her, Satsuki, as they find out, isn't actually aggressive at all, but rather a mountain of patience and friendliness. (And muscles. Boy, does she have muscles.) Makoto would feel threatened in her position as the mum friend if Satsuki weren't so completely focused on bickering with Rin. Haru has slipped back into the front seat (she's moved on to folding paper cranes now) while Nagisa and Rei try to calculate how much longer it will take them to get to the coast. Kou alternates between bobbing her head to music from her earphones and stealing glances at Satsuki's upper arms.
It feels all surprisingly normal.
And of course, that's when the tire pops.
Suppressing a sigh, Makoto hops out of the car and gets the spare tire out. She's done this before, but it's annoying, takes forever, especially in the heat with the tires still muddy from the rain, and it will set them back in their schedule some more. The back door opens; both Rin and Satsuki slide out.
“The tire?” Satsuki asks before Rin can. Makoto nods. “I'll help you with that.”
The rest of the girls are slowly leaving the van while Makoto, Rin and Satsuki get to work. This is less about knowledge and more about brute strength, so Kou stays back this time, just making a few comments here and there to annoy Rin like any younger sister mindful of her duties should. Nagisa peers over Satsuki's shoulder.
“Can we do anything?”
“No.”
“Okay then!”
After loosening the screws, Makoto and Rin go about changing the tire while Satsuki holds the front of the van up.
Only after they're done does Makoto realise that Satsuki just held the front of a fucking van up so they could change the tire.
“You might be right about the dream thing,” she says to Rin while they both watch Satsuki climb back into the car. Rin swallows hard.
“I think I'm in love,” she breathes. Kou snorts.
“No shit.”
–
Nagisa insists on scraping some of the dirt off the broken tire and filling it into Grandma Nanase's jar – “It 's basically every place we've been at once!” – and of course, Haru goes along with the proposal. Once they're done, the jar is nestled securely in her lap again, and they're good to go. The tire change cost them less than an hour, but Makoto knows they won't make it as far as they wanted to today, especially since the lack of sleep from last night is starting to catch up with her – and with Rin as well, it seems. She's trying to fall asleep against Satsuki's shoulder, but there's one very obvious flaw in that plan.
“How is anyone supposed to sleep on that?” she grumbles. “You're too fucking ripped. Get some body fat.”
Satsuki raises an eyebrow. “Not sure if body fat goes to the shoulders first thing, but okay. Give me the grapes.”
“I mean, how do you even get that many proteins?” Rin says while feeding Satsuki a grape from Rei's bag. “Do you eat an entire cow every day?”
“I'm vegan, you idiot. The secret is pulses.”
Nagisa leans over to Kou who is watching the two of them carefully. “I'm hallucinating, right?”
“I've never seen her act like this before,” Kou whispers. “I have no idea what's happening.”
“Is this what they call love at first sight?”
“Beautiful,” Rei sighs, awestruck.
Makoto feels a tug on her sleeve; she turns to her right. “What is it?”
Haru's eyes are shining when she looks at Makoto, then points at the map she has spread over her lap once more.
“There's a lake.”
Makoto leans over for a brief second, then remembers that if Haru isn't looking and she isn't looking, who's driving the car, so she gets her eyes back on the road.
“I don't know, Haru. It looks like a bit of a detour...”
“A lake, Makoto.”
Makoto knows she won't be able to resist those eyes if she looks to her right again; she doesn't even bother. “Okay then. We'll go to the lake.”
Haru leans over and tips her head against Makoto's shoulder briefly.
“Thanks.”
The rest of their passengers seem delighted to various degrees about going to the lake – Nagisa and Rin are positively ecstatic while Satsuki's expression turns into something almost wistful – but no one has any serious objections, and they even arrive in time for a late-evening swim.
This time, Haru is the first one in the water, closely followed by Nagisa (who couldn't be bothered to borrow a swimsuit again and just hops in in her underwear, which, by the way, she also borrowed from Haru) and Rin (who changes into her swimsuit faster than anything Makoto has ever seen). Kou and Rei follow with a little bit more chill while Satsuki barely gets a move on at all. Makoto then decides it's time for her to cement her place as the mum friend once more.
She grabs the bag of dirty clothes from the trunk and waves over to Satsuki.
“Wanna help me with the laundry?”
Satsuki shrugs and follows her wordlessly. Makoto doesn't want to pollute the lake with laundry products, so their only option is scrubbing a lot and hoping that it works. They go about their task in silence, water sloshing around their calves.
“I think I just lost a sock to the lake,” Satsuki says after a while.
“Ah, is that where they're always disappearing to?”
She glances over to where Nagisa and Rin are trying to dunk each other underwater. “How did you guys even meet?”
“You mean, because we're such a weird bunch?”
“No.” Satsuki squeezes the shirt in her hands; water runs all over her forearms. “Because you seem like you've been together forever.”
Makoto feels like her chest is expanding. “Well, it does seem like forever, even though it's only been a few days. We picked up Nagisa and Rei at our first rest stop because the two of them had just missed their bus; the next day, three other girls joined us – they were trying to get to a wedding, it was really confusing, and we ended up getting lost. And that's when we met Kou and Rin.”
“So, you and Nanase...”
“Oh, we really have known each other forever. I can't even imagine what it would be like without Haru.” Makoto wrings out a sundress. “I really don't want to, actually.”
“I see.”
“What about you? Where were you headed to?”
Satsuki smiles, her expression still wistful. “I told you. I was lost.”
Makoto decides not to pry further.
–
It's probably because Rin and Kou are there and also because they're not at an actual camping site, so there is technically no one who can stop them, that this time Nagisa does get her campfire. They learn a lot that evening, for example that there's a very specific way to stack the wood so the fire doesn't go out immediately. Or that gummy bears behave really differently from marshmallows when you try to roast them.
“Someone should have a guitar,” Nagisa sighs, curling into Rei's side.
“I have a guitar,” Satsuki says. “Not with me, though.”
“Oh! Can you sing, Sat-chan? I bet you have a really nice singing voice.”
Bu she isn't really listening, eyes wide with horror. Sat-chan, she mouths.
“Does anyone know a scary story?” Kou says.
“No!” Rei and Makoto scream in unison. She holds her hands up.
“Okay, I get it. Hm...” She considers it for a bit, then claps her hands together. “Let's talk about our futures then!”
“I thought we weren't doing scary stories?” Rin mutters.
“Come on, Rin, let's dream for a second, okay? I'll go first.” She crosses her legs and wrings her hands. “When I grow up, I want to be... like, a CEO. Or a manager. Someone who can kick people's ass when they don't behave. But, like, in a feminine way.”
“If that Monopoly game was any indication, it's gonna be a walk in the park for you, Kou-chan!”
She flips her hair over her shoulder. “Thank you, Nagisa-chan. You wanna go next?”
“Sure.” Nagisa looks at the starry sky for a moment and takes a deep breath. “I went to the career counsellor of our school a few weeks ago. I told her I couldn't decide on a job; she said I should become an actress then. That way, I can be anyone I want. So that's what I'm going for.”
Makoto frowns. “That's supposed to be really difficult. And not very secure, either...”
“I know.” Nagisa's smile is honest. “But I'd hate myself if I didn't even try.”
“I agree with Nagisa,” Rei says, predictably. “We're still young; if we don't allow ourselves to chase our dreams now, we'll spend the rest of our lives in a constant state of what-ifs.”
“What about you then, Rei?”
She pushes her glasses up her nose. “I'm going to be a physicist. Robotic engineering, to be precise. There's a college with an excellent reputation not too far away from my home; if I can keep my academic performance level where it is right now, I have a good chance of getting accepted.”
Makoto blinks. “That's... very realistic.”
“Please,” Rin snorts. “As if your dream would be any less realistic.”
“Well, kind of? I really want to be a teacher.” Makoto picks her next words with care, eyes fixed on a random tree. “I know for a fact though that some parents wouldn't even let their children near me.”
“Are you kidding me? You're gonna be a great teacher,” Rin says with emphasis.
“The best,” Nagisa adds.
“How can you say that?”
“Because it's fucking true, that's why.”
Makoto averts her eyes to the side, only to flinch back because Haru is fixing her with the most intense look anyone has ever given her.
“What – What about you, Haru?” she quickly deflects.
Haru blinks once, campfire dancing in her eyes. “I just want to swim.”
“What, you too?” Rin doesn't really sound surprised. “Go figure. I was on my way to the Olympics, you know. Went to a swimming school, beat records, that kind of stuff. But ever since... Well, family issues...” She trails off uncomfortably. “Not sure how I'm gonna balance all that.”
“Bullshit.”
Rin's head whips around to Satsuki. “Excuse me?”
“I said, bullshit. As long as you can swim, you'll swim. You'll find a way. You're strong enough.”
Her eyes narrow dangerously. “And what makes you so sure about that? You've literally known me for less than a day.”
“Because I've been there!” Satsuki snaps. It sounds raw, hurt, so different from when she's hurling insults at Rin for fun, and it startles them all into complete silence. She takes a deep breath and tries again. “I've been there. I've been close to reaching my dream. It was the same as you, you know – swimming in the Olympics, getting onto that podium. Being the best I could be. And then it all slipped away, because I was careless, because I was pushing myself too hard, because I was too weak to accept where my limits are.”
“What do you mean?” Makoto asks carefully.
“Training accident. Over-exerted my shoulder without noticing. It's going to heal eventually, but competitive swimming is out.”
“So what now?” Rin says. Makoto notices she's trying to pretend like she isn't crying again.
“I don't know,” Satsuki sighs. “I was thinking, maybe become a swimming coach or something. Or a cop. That'd be fun. Got the perfect build for that, too. But mostly – I just wanna be happy.”
“That's,” Rin chokes out, “that's the cheesiest fucking thing I've ever heard.”
“Says the crying sap.”
“Shut the hell up.” Rin punches her arm, careful to avoid the shoulder. “We could become cops together, you know. Chase down the bad guys and buy donuts and hang out with police dogs and shit.”
“Oh, I know. I could hire you as my bodyguards!” Kou exclaims.
“Or as my bodyguards!” Nagisa chimes in. “And Kou-chan can be my manager!”
“Hang on, why are we planning out futures around you now?”
She runs a hand through her hair with a flourish. “Because I'm worth it.”
“You are,” Rei murmurs. Nagisa's exaggerated smile instantly vanishes from her face as she stares at her girlfriend in disbelief, then abruptly pulls her down for a passionate kiss.
“Aaaand we've lost them,” Rin groans.
–
About an hour later, when the fire is out and all of them have dispersed for a little bit of quietness, Makoto happens onto Rin and Satsuki making out against a tree. She isn't really surprised, as she has already accepted that this must be the sapphic migration season and there simply aren't any straight girls around this time of the year, and quickly retreats to where she came from. Rin spots her and flashes her a thumbs-up.
Out of fear of walking in on Rei and Nagisa next, Makoto goes back to the van, only to find that Kou has put down the seats and is sprawled out across all of them like a queen, in a way that doesn't really leave room for anyone else to sleep there. Makoto sighs and changes into her still damp two-piece swimsuit. There's only so many places she can go now.
Of course, Haru is in the lake, swimming back and forth and diving in and out a few times.
“Looking for something?” Makoto inquires, swimming out to her.
“I was hoping for a nice pebble for the jar. All I can find is seaweed, though. And this sock here, which I'm pretty sure is yours.”
“Your grandma liked socks, though. And seaweed.”
Haruka hums quietly. “She was probably a mermaid.”
“That would explain so many things.”
“I don't nearly tell you often enough how much you mean to me.”
That's the thing with Haru; she'll talk to you about something trivial like mermaids or mackerel and then immediately deliver a statement like that in the same deadpan voice. Makoto swallows hard, fighting to keep her voice under control.
“You show it, though. You stick with me. Always have.”
Haru swims up to her and looks her right in the eyes. “Always will.”
If this is what drowning feels like, then Makoto isn't afraid of the ocean anymore.
–
[day 7]
Predictably, nobody got much sleep last night; even Kou woke up halfway through and decided now was the perfect time to finish the book she'd been reading. She's curled up in the front seat now, snoring lightly. Behind her are Nagisa, Rei and Haruka, staring out of the windows in various stages of alertness. Satsuki and Rin in the far back are fast asleep; Satsuki's arm seems to be a better pillow than Rin had claimed the day before.
They've come out of the forest with the lake onto a more dusty terrain. Nagisa, by far the most awake of the group, makes Makoto pull over to fill some of the sand and earth into the jar. Makoto's pretty sure that in terms of worth, it's on par with the Holy Grail right now.
The road continues on in serpentines, leading them up and down soft hills sprinkled with dry bushes and a few short trees. Since nearly everyone's asleep, it's as if Nagisa were the only passenger, which at first Makoto thought she would mind, but it's actually not half bad; after all, Nagisa knows a lot of puzzles.
“So, a girl walks into a bar and asks for a glass of water. The lady behind the counter points a gun at her. The girl thanks her and leaves. What happened?”
“Um.” Makoto tries to come up with a good question. “Did the girl want to die?”
“No!”
“Did the lady behind the counter recognise her?”
“Not at all.”
She thinks for a moment. “It's got to do with the glass of water, right?”
“Oh! Very good, Mako-chan!”
“So if the girl hadn't asked for the water, the bartender wouldn't have pulled the gun?”
“... Actually, she still would have, probably.”
“Huh.” She taps her finger on the steering wheel. “What about –”
“The sea.”
“The sea? What does the sea have to do with this?”
“No, no –” Nagisa sits up straighter and squints at the window. “I can see the sea. See?” She points. “That blue line on the horizon?”
Makoto looks more closely, and sure enough, behind a row of hills she can make out a stripe of a slightly different colour than the sky.
“Haru!” she calls. It's kind of unnecessary because Nagisa has already woken up the rest of their group in record time.
“Are you sure that it's the sea and not just some-” Rei never gets to finish her sentence; as soon as she looks out the window, her mouth just goes slack.
“It's so pretty!” Kou exclaims.
“Still kind of far away, though.”
Makoto tries to guess the distance. “The road curves around a lot, but if we don't stop, we might get there just a few hours after sunset...”
“No,” Haru declares.
“The hell do you mean, no?” Rin asks from the backseat.
“We're not in a rush. We can set up camp on on of the hills over there and take the last stretch tomorrow.”
Rin huffs. “I mean, I guess we can do that.”
Nobody really dares to question Haruka's authority as trip advisor; after all, she has the jar. Thus, they make a picknick break which mostly consists of half of what's left of the canned food – Makoto is really banking on the fact that there will be at least a village with a small shop somewhere at the coast – and make their way to the hill Haru picked as their place tonight.
It's early evening when they get there, with Rin at the steering wheel because she remembered that Makoto is a martyr by nature and would never ask her to switch with her no matter how tired she was, and if Rin wants to split their time fairly she has to drag her out of the driver's seat herself. Satsuki stays in the back of the car, which is a wise decision because it's the second-to-last day of their journey and they really can't afford to get lost now just because someone stayed at home when they'd handed out basic sense of orientation.
The hill is ridiculously perfect because there is a rudimentary viewing platform for the few tourists that end up coming here, complete with one of those ridiculous telescopes you have to feed a coin to look through and a vending machine from approximately nineteen-sixty-three. Most importantly though, they can see the ocean and feel the breeze and even smell the saltwater, and Haru couldn't possibly have known that, or maybe she has a sixth sense and her grandma really was a mermaid.
Nagisa is at the railing so fast that she almost topples over; Rei is there in an instant to wrap her arms around her back so she doesn't fall. Or maybe she just wants to hug her girlfriend, who knows. Rin, Kou and Satsuki have taken up the task of matching up the carved hills on the viewing platform's old stone map with the vast landscape that stretches in front of them; Rin and Kou insist on figuring out every hill's name, camping nerds that they are, while Satsuki grows bored quickly and tries to break open the vending machine to find out how fifty year-old coke tastes. Makoto locks up the van and walks over to Haru, who is standing at the railing, a little bit apart from the rest.
When she turns to Makoto, there are tears in her eyes.
Makoto squeezes her shoulder and looks out into the landscape herself. It truly is breathtaking, and the breeze runs pleasant fingers through her hair, but quickly the smell and the sight of all that saltwater start getting too much. After twenty minutes, she excuses herself and goes back to the car.
With trembling fingers, she opens the door and gets into the driver's seat, leaning her head on the steering wheel.
It isn't supposed to be like that. She doesn't know what her problem is, it's not her who was drowning, after all. Hell, she wasn't even there. She's just heard about it, heard about how the nice fisherwoman that always stopped by their town because her niece lived there had died in a thunderstorm at sea. Had seen how exactly three days later, the two goldfish that she had given Makoto as a present were floating in their aquarium belly-up, because apparently one life isn't enough to satisfy the water. Had sworn to herself never to get near the ocean.
And yet, here she is.
She closes her eyes with a sigh. Maybe that's all it takes. Maybe it's never going to go away, this fear; maybe just trying to face it is good enough. Maybe she can live with it, just like she'll be able to live with everything else life decides to throw at her, good or bad.
She hears the door to her side open; her head snaps up. “Haru?”
Haru climbs into the car, directly onto her lap. Makoto looks up at her, face probably the perfect embodiment of confusion.
They stay like this for at least a minute, silent. Then Haruka huffs quietly, grips the collar of Makoto's plaid shirt (that she's still wearing, dammit), and kisses her square on the mouth.
It's less surprising than it should be, and Makoto has fairly good reaction time anyway, so she manages to kick her brain into action fast enough to kiss back.
After a while that feels like forever but is actually probably more like ten seconds, Haru pulls back to bury her face into Makoto's neck. Her hair smells like the ocean.
Makoto isn't afraid.
–
[day 8]
Their last ride is silent, even though everyone is awake this time. The van just stops dead approximately six kilometres away from the coast, which surprises exactly no one, but they can't be bothered to look for the problem, not now, not when they're so close.
“We'll walk,” Rin declares, already packing their swimsuits and the last of their food supplies into a spare bag.
And so they do walk. Rin refuses to let Satsuki carry the bag even for one second, Kou is snapping pictures of every single seagull they encounter on the way, Nagisa tries to catch one of them to get a feather for the jar until Rei finds her one that was lying on the ground already.
Haruka doesn't let go of Makoto's hand.
It takes them nearly an hour and a half of slow walking, and as they're about to reach the shore, Makoto realises why they're stalling.
“Wait a second,” she says.
It's the first words anyone has spoken, so naturally, they all stop dead in their tracks.
She takes a deep breath. “This doesn't have to be the end.”
And it's as if a heavy blanket is lifted from them. Nagisa hops over to squeeze Makoto into a hug; she can swear the sun shines a little brighter that moment.
“It won't be, Mako-chan,” Nagisa whispers.
“Come on, suckers.” Rin, predictably, looks like she's about to cry again. “Let's go see the ocean.”
When they get to the beach, Kou is the first one to toe off her shoes and drag her feet through the sand with a pleased sigh. Nagisa picks up a few final shells for the jar, and both Rei and Rin seem to simultaneously develop an overwhelming desire to build a mud castle. Satsuki just kind of drops onto the beach and makes a sand angel.
“We should pick a spot, Haru-chan!” Nagisa calls over.
Haruka raises an eyebrow. “For my grandmother's ashes?”
“Symbolic ashes! But, yes.”
Haru thinks about it for a moment, then points to a line of rocks reaching about twenty metres out into the water.
“That okay?” she asks Makoto. Makoto squeezes her hand.
“I won't die.”
“Good. I won't let you.”
Of course Nagisa is the one to carry the jar. Of course, not even a metre away from the water, she trips over a stone and it slips out of her hand. Of course, the glass with the sea animals and the butterfly breaks and the content is spilled over the rocks.
Of course, Haru doesn't mind.
“She'll be close to the ocean,” she declares. “That's all that matters.”
–
“So.” Rin rubs the back of her head sheepishly. “I kind of hate to say it, but... Any idea about how to get back?”
Makoto looks at each of them, at this strange little patchwork group of friends she and Haru have collected like shells and flowers and dust on the side of the road. Her heart does a little flip; it's not unpleasant.
“Let's just stay here for a while.”