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He wasn't sure when it happened. Couldn't exactly recall when he'd even closed his optics. Optimus Prime didn't even remember falling into recharge. Optimus knew, Primus he knew, Ratchet had told him he needed more rest. He needed to sleep. Ratchet had stopped telling, and started begging. Optimus knew it was bad if Ratchet was begging. He knew the signs of his exhaustion were clear as day.
It wasn't for lack of trying. Optimus fell into his berth in his quiet habsuite every time the sun went down, and the Ark grew silent. The usual busy environment went out like a candle. Most of the others didn't have trouble recharging. Long battles and longer missions ensured tiredness that made sleep come easily. It did not come easily to Optimus, and it hadn't for a long time, no matter how perfect he managed to get his berth.
Optimus would close his optics and twist and turn restlessly without abandon. He glare at the walls, he'd shove something over his audials, he'd even starve himself of energon to try and force himself to go into recharge. Actually, that last one was a new method, and it had yet to show results. Optimus was tired beyond belief, his frame begged for some relief, a break, but he just couldn't get it. Honestly, Optimus just accepted that his processor would never rest, no matter how much he wanted it to. Optimus was trapped, a prisoner in his own processor with a breaking frame that he ignored. He didn't deserve recharge. He didn't deserve energon.
That's why this was all particularly confusing. Optimus didn't remember shutting his optics, falling into recharge almost effortlessly. He managed to move his frame, feeling floatier and lighter than he had in millennia. It was like he wasn't carrying the burden of a leader, a dead planet, and a war on his shoulders. Optimus didn't dare open his optics for fear of breaking his moment of solace and tranquility. The peace that eased his processor. But there was a small nudge to his side and suddenly Optimus felt warmth.
Something was holding him. Someone was holding him. Optimus stiffened and held his vents, audials flicking as he tried to pick up a spark signature, a familiar vent cycle, the shape of the frame next to his, anything to see who his capture was.
The warm frame moved. "Orion...?" A soft, sleepy voice murmured, and Optimus found himself tightening up further. His energon ran cold. That was a very, very familiar voice, yet held so much warmth that Optimus wasn't used to. Megatron did not speak so kindly. He was cold. He did not hold other mechs so softly like this, he lived to hurt, to harm, especially the likes of Optimus. Optimus's optics flickered open as danger ran through him, spiking his need to get up and run or fight or something. He tried to move but Megatron's arms stayed locked around him.
"Pax, woah, calm down, calm down..." Megatron soothed. No, why was he trying to soothe Optimus?! Optimus managed to sit upright and looked at Megatron, who seemed just as frazzled as he felt. "What's wrong? Nightmares?" Megatron looked so concerned as he moved to cup Optimus's face in his servos, which didn't seem so harmful, yet Optimus still flinched.
Optimus looked around, ignoring the slightly horrified look on Megatron's face. They were in a habsuite. His habsuite. In his berth. Optimus's audials pinned as he looked back at Megatron sharply. "What is this, Megatron?" Optimus demanded, standing and yanking himself out of Megatron's grasp.
Megatron just looked... hurt by the actions. It both angered and saddened Optimus. Megatron held his servos up in a placating manner. "Mega-who? Pax, what are you saying? You're just scared, you were just having a nightmare." Megatron tilted his helm slightly, optics giving Optimus a once over. Megatron clearly didn't understand why Optimus was acting like this but Optimus was confused as to why Megatron was acting like this.
Something processed in Optimus's mind, though. Megatron questioned Optimus for calling him his name- that name. Optimus bit his glossa and decided to try something, looking at Megatron warily. "Dee..?"
Megatron nodded. "Yeah, it's just me, Pax." His optics were softer, not the usual cold and hateful he gave Optimus during their countless battles. Megatron reached up again, cupping the side of Optimus's face, and this time, Optimus found himself leaning into Megatron's servo. "You look tired..." Megatron stroked Optimus's cheekplate. "Want to tell me what happened in the nightmare?"
Optimus hesitated. He wasn't sure what was happening. Was the war real? Did any of that even happen? Or was he back in the past with Meg... D-16? Did he accidentally time travel? No, because he was in his "Optimus Prime" frame, not Orion Pax. And similarly, Megatron was... well, his bulky, large frame, yet not nearly as menacing.
Optimus shook himself out of his thoughts. Best to just go along with it until he could figure out what and why this was.
"...Uh.. I.. I don't remember it too much. Just.. blurs." Optimus placed his servo hesitantly over Megatron's. In turn, Megatron turned his servo and held Optimus's, warm and stable and solid.
Megatron nodded in understanding, leaning forward and capturing Optimus's lipplates in a kiss. Optimus froze, then fell into it softly like muscle-memory. He kissed back. And then they separated and Optimus almost didn't want to open his optics, but he did, and he was met with the sight of kindness.
"Well, it's just about the start of the cycle anyways, let's go get some energon before the chaos starts." Optimus nodded wordlessly at Megatron's suggestion, still trying to scope out what was going on.
Megatron kept their servos linked together, guiding Optimus through the long corridors of the Ark, which were still and silent, most were still in recharge, Optimus figured. His spark started to ease, as he looked around. It was the Ark. No doubt about that. Still, oddly enough it felt lighter. More of a home than a base.
Megatron led walked them both to the mess hall, gathering two cubes of energon for himself, and was about to grab two for Optimus before he stopped him. Megatron looked at Optimus, confused.
"I am not hungry." Optimus tried a smile. Megatron did not look convinced. "...You must be starving, Pax. We were recharging for hours." Megatron insisted, trying to gently nudge away from Optimus and grab the energon.
Optimus felt his energon run cold. He shook his helm quickly, panic swelling. "No. I am not hungry. Let it go." Optimus snapped, immediately regretting it. His optics widened. He felt sick. He just yelled at his... "M.. Dee- I am so sorr-"
Megatron held a servo up and Optimus flinched, expecting a yell, a lash out, something. What he got was a soft kiss to his forehelm and a sheepish smile. "I shouldn't have pushed, I'm sorry. If you say you are not hungry, then you are not hungry."
Optimus sighed in relief, and gave a grateful smile. He followed Megatron to a small sitting area, looking around. This didn't feel... right. Well, it did. But there was something that was just... off. Optimus sat across from Megatron, who was slowly sipping his energon. Pure, clean energon, not dark energon, not synth-en. Optimus eyed Megatron for a moment, fidgeting with one of his audials for a second. Megatron seemed to be comfortable in the silence. Optimus wasn't. So he decided to take a chance. "...So.. about the war..." Optimus trailed off, hoping to Primus Megatron would finish for him.
Megatron's optics flicked up, meeting Optimus's. He tilted his helm slightly and paused his eating. "Ah, I figured you'd want to discuss that. You seem like you have something on your mind." Megatron sat up straighter. "I, too, am worried. The Decepticons have been... quiet." Optimus internally winced at the word 'Decepticon', but Megatron continued, not noticing. "Starscream must be planning something. I am only worried about what, I mean, what would need this much silence? I-"
Optimus dissociated vaguely. Did he hear that right? Starscream was the leader of the Decepticons in Megatron's place. And... what about the Autobots? "-Fortunately, their absence has been having a positive affect on the other Autobots. We all get some much needed rest. You get some much needed rest." Megatron reached forward, placing his servo over Optimus's. Optimus held it in return.
Optimus looked down at the table thoughtfully, though his head whipped around as he heard the door swish open. In walked Bumblebee, a familiar friendly face, and... Optimus's vents hitched. His yellow scout was followed into the mess hall by Soundwave.
Megatron perked up at their presence, smiling. "Ah! Soundwave, Bee, how was your recharge cycle?" Megatron greeted with a friendly demeanor, which only served to horrify Optimus further.
"It was good." Bee chirped as he grabbed energon rations for himself and Soundwave. Soundwave nodded at Megatron. "Affirmative." His voice was as robotic and stiff as ever, but not as menacing or... cold. He gratefully accepted the energon from Bumblebee.
Megatron looked at them both with such fondness. Almost fatherly. "Wonderful to hear. Off to the training suite I assume?"
Both nodded, exchanged a few words with Megatron, and left. All while Optimus stared in mild shock. Megatron seemed to notice this. He squeezed Optimus's servo. "Orion...? What's wrong?" Megatron murmured softly, dragging Optimus back to the present as he looked at Megatron.
Megatron shook his helm. "Nothing, just... spaced out for a moment." Optimus smiled, though it was strained.
Megatron didn't seem convinced. He finished his energon quickly and stood up, taking Optimus with him. "Let us go get some air?"
They walked slowly together through the Ark, occasionally crossing paths with some others. Ratchet, Breakdown, Mirage, Astrotrain, Bulkhead, Barricade?! There were so many Decepticons mingling happily with the Autobots, not to mention wanted posters littered the walls. There were some Optimus expected. Starscream, Shockwave, Knock Out. Then there were... others. Jazz, Prowl, Arcee?!
Optimus didn't realize he was holding his vents until they got out onto the back deck of the Ark, and Megatron was stabilizing him. "Hey, deep vents, Pax." Megatron demonstrated, and Optimus followed, walking with him to the edge and leaning against the railing.
Optimus looked out at the vast Earth landscape surrounding their base. The sunrise was beautiful. And it was fall.
"I always loved autumn." Optimus mumbled quietly, a reverent look in his optics. Megatron stood beside him, though his eyes were fixed on Optimus rather than the scenery. "I know,"
"The colours are beautiful." Optimus didn't quite notice he was Megatron's center of attention at the moment. "They are," Megatron agreed easily. Optimus looked stunning in the fall colours.
Optimus finally realized he had Megatron's optics on him, and he met them, chuckling softly. "You're staring."
Megatron nodded, stepping closer. "It's hard not to," Megatron shrugged, wrapping his arms around Optimus and pulling him into an embrace. Optimus fell into it easily, resting against Megatron. "Not when I have the most beautiful mech right here."
Primus, that was unbelievably cheesy. Still, it made Optimus's spark flutter, his optics full of love, his frame feeling lighter. His spark was finally easy for the first time in forever. Centuries of weight being carried was finally beginning to fade away. Optimus's processor felt floaty, and he even started to feel... hungry. Hungry without guilt. Optimus closed his optics, letting himself be enveloped in warmth.
Megatron's lipplates brushed against Optimus's audial. Optimus didn't flinch. "Optimus," Megatron's deep voice rumbled, sounding a tad different. Optimus was so peaceful he didn't pick up on the name change. He just hummed curiously.
"You need to wake up."
Optimus shot upright with a loud gasp, optics wide, spark hammering. He looked around frantically. No sunrise. No gentle hold. No Megatron. No peace. Optimus was in the medbay, with an energon line going into him, giving him much needed energon.
Optimus had Ratchet on one side and Bee- a much too silent Bee- on the other. Optimus looked at Ratchet for an explanation, yearning for that lost touch and kindness from Megatron. Yearning for his love.
"You recharged and ate so little. Your frame gave out. You were out cold for a while. I was worried you were in deep stasis." Ratchet explained with a clinical detachment. Bumblebee made a concerned 'beep' at Optimus's other side.
Optimus just stared at Ratchet with a broken expression. He felt cold. Lonely. Empty. He didn't even care to comfort Bee, who was worrying himself into a spiral.
Optimus just shook his helm vaguely and wrapped his arms around himself. "Why did you wake me up..." Optimus breathed out almost too quietly.
Ratchet's expression changed to one of confusion. "Excuse me?"
"I didn't- I didn't want to wake up." Optimus sobbed, shutting his optics and hugging himself tighter. If he pretended, if he really, really pretended, he could imagine it was still Megatron holding him. That he still had his beloved, that he was still loved. That the world didn't exist. That Primus wasn't so cruel. Optimus couldn't care less that that hadn't been real.
If it was a dream, he didn't want to wake up.