Work Text:
Christmas has never been one of Katsuki’s favorite dates.
It’s always cold and snowy, and do you know what snow turns to when it touches you? Water. It means it’s basically rain. Katsuki hates rain, and snow is rain that makes the ground slippery. Plus, Christmas comes with obnoxious music, the most tacky decor humankind ever came up with, and low-quality sweets being baked everywhere. It’s an attack on all the senses.
If Katsuki is being completely honest, he hates all calendar dates with strong social expectations attached to it. And social expectations in general. For some stupid reason, Christmas seems to be the date with the most social expectations of all. This stupid Western holiday invaded their country and now everyone thinks that if you don’t celebrate it the exact way those stupid movies show, you’re a sad, pathetic loser.
Which brings Katsuki to his current predicament: trying to find a gift for some loser he doesn’t even know.
Shitty Hair and Pinky, feeling guilty that they’re the only ones in their friend group in a relationship and who’d have someone to spend the holiday with, decided to throw a huge party for everyone of their single friends. And if that wasn’t bad enough, they decided to have a Secret Santa gift exchange. And to complete this big shit sandwich, Katsuki ended up pulling the name of one of Pinky’s friends he never met before.
One could think the situation couldn’t be worse, but it got worse because Katsuki had a nightmarish week at work and now he has to buy the gift literally on the last day.
It’s fucking hell.
The streets are packed with people who also left gift buying for the last day; the stores raised their prices to gouge the losers who need to buy shit; the Christmas carols are playing at top volume; and if Katsuki is accosted by another scammer trying to sell him a shitty strawberry cake for the price of a Ferrari, he’ll snap.
It’s the fifth store Katsuki pushes his way in, and the fifth store that seems to only carry stupid junk that it’s not worth the price they’re asking. He looks at the shelves, trying to find something Deku would like.
Deku. What a stupid fucking name. What kind of person names their son useless? Katsuki could barely believe that was the guy’s name when he read Shitty Hair’s message, but since the message came with a long warning of “He’s a really good friend of Mina’s, please don’t be a dick to him, bro. If you make him cry, Mina is going to be furious and then she’s going to make me cry and then I’ll be kicked out of the house and have to live with you and none of us want that to happen” Katsuki decided to keep his opinions on the guy’s name to himself.
That’s also why Katsuki can’t call anyone and ask what to get to this Deku loser. There are very few things in the world that sound worse than having Shitty Hair sleeping on his couch, and he’d not put past Pinky’s craziness to decide it’s her boyfriend’s fault that Katsuki can’t buy a gift to someone he doesn’t know.
Mindlessly, Katsuki grabs a snow globe, wondering if something so generic would be appropriate. But then he checks the price and realizes it’d be cheaper to buy the guy a Hawaii vacation. What the hell? Has every store owner lost their fucking minds? Angrily, Katsuki puts the snowglobe back and marches out of the store.
Or, at least, he tries. He bumps on at least a dozen giggling teenagers on his way out. By the time he actually reaches the street, Katsuki wonders if his knowledge on chemical engineering would be enough to let him get away scotch free from blowing up the whole damn building with everyone inside.
Gathering the last bit of his patience, Katsuki decides to try in another part of town. Maybe further away from main street he’ll find a store with reasonable prices and not crowded.
Katsuki walks to his car, parked a couple of blocks away, hoping just to get out of this shitty snow. But just as he’s already imagining the heater of his car unfreezing his fingers, he sees the only thing that could turn this hellish day into The Worst Day of His Life—there’s an asshole breaking into his car.
It feels almost like watching it in slow motion. Katsuki sees a green-haired guy open the door of his car and sit on the driver’s seat. And then he’s running—he’s not going to let anyone take his care.
“GET THE HELL OUT OF MY CAR!” he yells, yanking the door open.
“WU-AHHH!” the guy screams in surprise, certainly not expecting the car’s owner to show up just as he’s about to steal it.
“I SWEAR TO FUCKING GOD I’LL KILL YOU! GET OUT OF MY CAR NOW!”
“What? Who are you?” he asks, still looking confused.
“THE OWNER, YOU ASSHOLE! I’M NOT GOING TO LET YOU STEAL MY CAR!”
“What are you talking about? Is this a prank?”
The clueless charade isn’t cute, even if the guy’s big green eyes totally seem genuine. The fucker should be trying for an Oscar, not stealing people’s cars. But Katsuki isn’t there to discuss the guy’s bad life decisions, he’s there to make sure his car is safe.
“I’ll give you a fucking prank when I murder you, thief! Get out of my car!” he states, trying to pull the guy off the driver’s seat by his arm.
“Stop it! Let me go! I’m not a thief!”
“You’re here trying to steal my car! You’re a shitty thief!”
“Are you crazy? This is my car!”
“You fucking liar! I’m going to kill you!”
“I’m not lying! This is my car! See? I’ve got the keys!” The guy says, jiggling keys in front of Katsuki’s face like he’s a baby.
“Not to my car, you don’t!”
“Oh my god! You’re actually crazy! I need to call the police…”
“I’m going to call the police after I’m done murdering you for breaking into my car!”
“Stop this! You’re not making any sense! This is my car! See? Keys! And-and! Oh! See? My All Might plushie!” The guy says, pointing at Katsuki’s All Might plushie hanging from the rearview mirror.
“This is my damn charm, you lying piece of shit!” he says.
“Crazy. You’re absolutely insane. I’m calling the police,” the guy says, grabbing his phone.
If Katsuki was a bit more calm and level-headed, he’d probably recognize calling the police to solve the situation was the best line of action. But Katsuki is anything but reasonable at this point and he just wants this lying thief away from his car.
“Fuck you! I’m done talking! Get out now!” he says, digging both his hands on the guy’s arm and yanking as hard as he can.
The guy, who was distracted by trying to dial the police number on his phone, doesn’t manage to hold on to anything. Katsuki succeeds in pulling him out of the car—just to forget the deadly combination of too much strength in a slippery stance.
Once again, time seems to pass in slow motion. Katsuki sees triumphantly when the guy is yanked out of the car and then sees the fucker failing to find his footing on the half-frozen ground. He stumbles awkwardly towards Katsuki, who tries to take a step back just to lose his balance too. They fall in a messy combination of uncontrolled limbs and just as Katsuki feels the impact of the cold pavement, he also feels the warm hardness of the fucker’s face smashing into his.
“AHH!”
“FUCK!’
The hit is so strong that Katsuki feels disoriented for a moment. Everything is spinning. He shakes his head, trying to get some clarity just to be hit again, this time by the pain radiating from the center of his face.
“Ouch… Ouch… Ouch…” the guy whines, by his side.
“Fuck… Holy fuck…” he grumbles as he feels wetness dripping on his lip. Shit, his nose is bleeding.
“Oh, it hurts… It hurts really bad. Oh my god, it’s blood…”
Katsuki forces his eyes open and sees that the guy is also bleeding from his nose and from a gash on this temple. Shit.
“I’m dead… You actually killed me…”
“Shut up. If you’re dead, why are you so fucking loud?” Katsuki grumbles, getting up.
“Probably came back to haunt you… But death shouldn’t hurt so much,” he says with a pout as he gets up as well.
“That should teach you not to steal any cars.”
“I can’t believe you’re still on this! It’s my car! I didn’t try to steal anything! See?” the guy pushes on the door button at the car key to show the car blinking its lights and locking up.
Just to see another identical car do the same thing, just two cars behind it.
The guy hits the button again. Same result, both cars blink and unlock doors.
Then again. And again. And again.
Each time, both cars respond. Both blue XT cars. Same model, even same year by Katsuki’s judgment.
Most importantly, same All Might plushie hanging innocently from the rearview mirror.
“Oh my god…” the guy whispers.
“Holy fuck…” Katsuki agrees, not believing what he’s seeing.
“I have two cars…”
“NO, YOU IDIOT! That’s my car! And that’s yours!” he screams, wondering if strangling someone after breaking their nose would be overkill.
“No, I know this is mine! It has my backpack—” he says, looking at the backseat through the mirror and failing to see anything there. “Where is my backpack?”
“Try the other car, asshole.”
The guy walks the ten steps that separates both parked cars and looks through the window, probably seeing his backpack. He takes a moment to open his car, check that everything is there, and accept this fucked up reality that he was actually in the wrong car. Katsuki sees him running a hand over his head in clear frustration, and sees the expression of pain when he rubs the wound on his temple, pulling his bloody hand away.
Then the guy walks back to Katsuki with the most pitiful expression on his face.
“I’m so sorry,” he says, sounding defeated. “I’d never imagine the key could open more than one car. I’m so sorry I got into yours and created this whole mess.”
The guy looks close to tears and, despite Katsuki’s best judgment, that moves his cold heart a little.
“Whatever. Let’s just… Forget this shitty day ever happened.”
“Right, right,” the guy mumbles. “We should probably get our wounds checked too…”
“Yeah,” Katsuki says, gingerly touching his nose to see if it’s still bad. It hurts like a bitch.
“For what’s worth, I’m truly sorry.”
“It’s fine,” Katsuki brushes him off, now wondering if his nose is actually broken. Fuck, he’ll actually need to get this checked at an hospital. “Just pay attention to whose cars you get in, idiot.”
“Alright… Good bye, then.”
“Good bye.”
The guy walks back to his actual car—and damn if the thing doesn’t look precisely as Katsuki’s—and offers an awkward wave before getting it. Katsuki shakes his head to himself, looking for clarity, and decides to go to the nearest A&E. If he shows up to Shitty Hair’s party with a bloody nose, the extras will lose their shit.
***
Katsuki sits in the A&E waiting room, mindlessly scrolling through his phone to distract himself from the pulsing pain coming from his nose. The green band on his wrist tells him he’s going to be waiting there a long time. He just hopes he makes it in time for Shitty Hair’s stupid party or else he’ll not hear the end of it until next Christmas.
To his left, a crying little boy is taken to the doctor to see about his broken arm, making Katsuki wonder if wailing will get him seen faster. Considering there’s an old man to the right who is wearing a similar green band on his wrist and is already dozing off, betraying how long he must have been there for, maybe Katsuki should be making a scene if he wants to get out in time for dinner.
His plans are halted when he hears a familiar voice talking to the receptionist. Familiar even if it’s sounding way more nasal than it was a while ago.
“Yeah, it was a big confusion! I can’t believe I’ve done that!” the green haired guy that unknowingly tried to steal Katsuki’s car explains to the woman.
Katsuki can’t help taking a good look at the guy, curious now that he knows he’s not a filthy thief. They must be around the same age, not surprisingly considering the guy is an All Might fan too—All Might had his prime fame years while they were kids. What is more surprising is that the guy is cute as hell.
His green hair is wavy and soft-looking, his face is dotted with freckles, and his ass… Katsuki needs to bite back a groan. Katsuki isn’t going to lie, he knows he has a type: likes them thick, big asses, round thighs, and Not-Thief hits all his boxes and then some. And when he turns to take a seat in the waiting room and sees Katsuki there as well, his eyes grow comically large, letting Katsuki see the prettiest green gems he’s ever seen—and a very red and inflamed nose. Fuck, it truly seems he broke Freckle’s nose.
“Oh my god! You’re here too!” Freckles says, walking up to him.
“Closest A&E to where we parked,” Katsuki points out, as if he wasn’t surprised as well. Damn, his voice is also sounding more nasal than it was a few minutes ago. His nose must be getting more inflamed as well.
“Right, right…” Despite the fact there are plenty of open seats in the waiting room, he sits right beside Katsuki. “At least it gives me the chance of apologizing again. I’m truly, truly sorry for the confusion.”
“It’s fine,” Katsuki waves him off, suddenly much more willing to ignore the whole ordeal now that he knows Freckles is hot. “Dumb mistake. The damn key shouldn’t have opened the car anyway. Fucked up shit.”
“Right? I wonder if it works in all cars of the same model… Or maybe the same model and same year? Do you think we can find out the month they were built? They probably come from the same factory but I guess we can’t be sure...”
“I’ll file a complaint with the company,” Katsuki grumbles. “This shit is dangerous. Could have been a fuckton worse.”
“Yeah, I mean… It was already bad enough. You broke both our noses,” Freckles points out.
“I broke our noses?” Katsuki snorts. “You’re the idiot who couldn’t tell the cars apart and it’s my fault?”
“The cars look the same, and even have the same mirror plushie! It was you who wouldn’t listen to me! If you had let me call the police, we wouldn’t—”
“Right, because that was going to go great,” he scoffs. “Calling the cops because our cars look similar. They’d arrest both of us for wasting police time.”
“Well, if you had just listened—” Freckles starts retorting but bites his tongue and takes a deep breath before continuing. “Fine. Fine. I was in the wrong car. You’re right.”
“You don’t look like a thief,” Katsuki offers an olive branch of his own. “I should have clocked you’re just a nerd.”
Freckles chuckles and mumbles, “Takes one to know one.”
“Who the hell are you calling a nerd, Freckles?” he barks.
“The one who has an All Might charm on his mirror,” he says deadpanned. “And my name is Midoriya. Izuku Midoriya.”
“Katsuki Bakugou,” he answers because his old hag gave him some manners at the very least. “And All Might is badass, not nerd.”
That makes Midoriya giggle, the cutest little sound Katsuki has ever heard. Shit, the nerd is so adorable it should be illegal. Maybe the cops should have been involved after all.
“All Might is the best for sure,” he says, still with a big smile on his face that looks somehow even more endearing with the blood stains under his nose. “It’s nice to meet another fan, even if under…. Ah… less than ideal circumstances.”
Now it’s time for Katsuki to laugh. Less than ideal for sure.
At that moment, a nurse opens the door and everyone perks up, hoping their name is going to be called. Unfortunately, it’s not their turn yet.
“I guess we’re going to stay here for a while…” Midoriya says.
“For sure. I just hope we get seen before we die, like that guy,” he points to the old man sleeping.
Midoriya starts giggling again but he quickly slaps his own mouth to stop himself.
“Oh my god, that’s awful! We can’t laugh at that!” he says, still with humor in his voice. “And he’s not dead. He’s sleeping… I guess…”
“Keep telling yourself that,” Katsuki jokes. “But yeah, wish to get this done soon. I’m supposed to go to this shitty party that my friends will drive me crazy if I don’t show up.”
“Me too… It’s more busy here than I’d expect,” Midoriya comments. “I thought everyone would be too busy with Christmas parties to get hurt.”
“Maybe Christmas is an accident-prone holiday,” Katsuki muses. “I was almost throttled by a herd of teenage girls at a store.”
“Teenage girls are ruthless,” Midoriya agrees gravely. “I was also doing some last minute shopping. I’m supposed to go to this friends’ party, and I thought I’d bring a cake to share but they were all so expensive.”
“You tell me. I had to buy some shitty Secret Santa gift and almost got ripped off for a snow globe.”
“Secret santas are so hard… I didn’t know what to buy to mine either,” he whines.
“At least you know the one you were buying a gift to. I have to buy something for a friend of my friend’s girlfriend. Never seen the guy before.”
“Yeah… I know the friend I got, but he’s a very fashionable guy and I’m… Well, you can see.”
So far Katsuki hadn’t really paid attention to what Midoriya was wearing, but in a closer look he sees it’s an All Might sweater. Bright blue with the standard AM used as detail pattern on the hem and collar. Cute as far as anime merch goes.
“Fuck, you’re truly a nerd,” he jokes.
“Some would say that, yeah,” he answers awkwardly.
“But I like it,” Katsuki says, trying to reassure the guy. But as soon as the words come out of his mouth, he knows he said too much. The pretty blush rising on Midoriya’s cheeks confirms that. “I mean, I like that you’re so honest about your hobbies and shit. That’s cool.”
That seems to be the right save because Midoriya goes back to smiling.
It’s easy to fall into a conversation about All Might after that. Too easy. And it’s not only because it’s Katsuki’s favorite anime as well. Midoriya is cute and funny, they have a fuckload in common, and Katsuki hasn’t had as much fun talking to someone in a really long time.
They laugh a lot as Katsuki makes mean jokes about other non-All Might animes; fall into deep discussions about lore details about their favorite characters; and try to out-trivia each other with the little mentioned-in-passing-once details of the story. It’s kind of awesome.
Katsuki’s enjoying their conversation so much that he forgets why he’s there, the pain on his nose barely a blip in his head. So it comes as a big surprise when the nurse opens the door and calls his name.
“Oh…” Midoriya says, his face falling for a second before he puts on a customer-service smile. “Lucky. You’re finally getting seen.”
“Yeah…” he says, not managing to fake the same upbeat farce.
He looks at Midorya, trying to come up with something to say to stretch this little moment of theirs. Maybe something that can give them a chance to talk later. But reality is quickly closing in on him—he needs to get his nose checked because he needs to go to that Christmas party.
“Katsuki Bakugou!” the nurse yells again.
“Go on,” Midoriya says. “If you leave them waiting too long they might call someone else.”
“Right, right… See you on the other side?” he offers, hoping that maybe this isn’t the last time he sees Midoriya.
“Sure,” Midoriya agrees. “I’m probably the next one to be called.”
And with that flimsy promise, Katsuki follows the nurse to the doctor’s office.
It takes over an hour to go through the whole process of getting it checked, x-ray, bandage, and instructions on how to care for his nose. He doesn’t see Midoriya once through it all and yet he still holds hope he’ll see him outside, in the waiting room.
And yet, when Katsuki is finally allowed to leave, he doesn’t see those green curls waiting for him. Midoriya is probably being treated himself.
For a moment, Katsuki considers waiting. Midoriya can’t have been called in much later, can he? Except Katsuki knows he can. Midoriya had a green wristband. Any number of people with high priority needs could have shown up since Katsuki was called. For all he knows, Midoriya may have just been called in, or he may have left.
As Katsuki considers if he should ask the receptionist or some nurse, his phone rings. It’s Shitty Hair’s 5th message, trying to get news on him. He’s so late to that damn party.
It’s useless. He needs to go. There’s no point in chasing someone he just met for a connection that may have been just on his mind. What kind of shitty fairy tale would it be to find the love of his life trying to steal his car? Stupid fucking thing. There’s no such thing as love of your life anyway.
Trying to ignore the bitterness in his heart, Katsuki leaves the hospital. Real life is calling him.
***
When he gets to Shitty Hair’s home, everyone is already there and dying to find out how Katsuki broke his nose. He doesn’t offer a lot of explanations, though. Says it was an accident on the frozen ground, which isn’t a lie. It just feels weird to tell all the story about Midoriya as Katsuki still doesn’t know how to categorize the whole afternoon in his head.
Seeing his grumpy mood, his friends are quick to disperse their attention to other things. Sero mixes drinks, Kirishima makes sure the snack table doesn’t need refilling, Jirou tries to change the playlist to stop the Christmas music, Kaminari plays with the Christmas lights, Ashido yells at Jirou and Kaminari to not fuck up her Christmas vibe. And Katsuki sits on the couch, looking at his phone and berating himself for not asking for Midoriya’s number.
No matter how much he tries telling himself that Midoriya wasn’t that incredible anyway, that he was just a dumbass nerd that tried to drive off with the wrong car, his heart seems to disagree. Where else will you find a sexy nerd with an All Might obsession and that thinks you’re funny? his heart tells him. Katsuki struggles to disagree with that.
Probably sensing Katsuki’s grumpiness is reaching dangerous levels, Kirishima sits by his side to try and talk to him.
“Hey, bro. Sorry you broke your nose. It must have been a hard day,” he says with sympathy.
“Yeah, it was…” Katsuki sighs, not really knowing how to explain. “It was a fucking mess… Didn’t manage to buy a gift for Pinky’s friend.”
“It’s fine… I mean, he hasn’t showed up anyway. Probably got caught on something as well—”
Right as he says it, the door bell rings, interrupting everyone’s conversation.
“It must be Izuku!” Pinky says, rushing to the door.
“Hi! I’m sorry I’m late,” a nasal voice Katsuki heard hours of this afternoon says. “I had the craziest day, you’re not going to believe it.”
“Oh my god, Izuku! What happened to your nose?”
Katsuki doesn’t hear any more of the conversation between Izuku, Pinky and all the others who approach to greet him. His brain is too busy catching up to the fact that Midoriya is there! Somehow he’s Pinky’s friend, the new one he was supposed to meet at the party.
Oh fuck, he’s Deku—the guy Katsuki didn’t buy a Secret Santa gift for.
What the hell? What in the living coincidences hell?
“And here it’s Katsuki Bakugou, I think he’s the only one you don’t know,” Shitty Hair says when the greetings end, trying to introduce them.
Midoriya looks at him and Katsuki can see his brain also trying to catch up to what’s happening.
“Kat—Wha—?”
“No, not Kacchan, Katsuki,” Shitty Hair corrects, still just as clueless.
“Hey there, nerd,” Katsuki greets, trying to sound nonchalant even though his heart is beating on his throat.
“Bakugou! You’re here!” Midoriya says when he’s coherent enough to sound surprised. “I can’t believe it! This was the friends’ party you were complaining about!”
Katsuki shrugs, “There was a lot to complain about.”
“Wait, you two know each other?!” Shitty Hair asks.
“Yes,” Midoriya answers at the same time Katsuki says,
“Sort of.”
“It’s a long story,” he adds.
“It’s a fucking mess,” Katsuki completes, not unable to stop the smile from showing on his face.
“Well… Great!” Shitty Hair says, still sounding confused. “The more friends, the merrier! Izuku, can I get you something to drink?”
Midoriya accepts the drink, so Shitty Hair asks Sero something and goes back to checking on the snacks table. Pinky is also back to yelling at Dunce Face for messing up the fairy lights, leaving them alone.
“That’s a surprise,” Midoriya comments awkwardly. “I thought I’d never see you again…”
“Same. Didn’t expect you to be Deku.”
“Deku?”
“I read your name in a message Shitty Hair sent me and thought you’re called Deku.”
Midoriya snorts, “That’s so stupid! Who would name their kid that?!”
“I don’t know. There are all sorts and Pinky always has the weirdest friends, Deku,” he teases, trailing very close to the line of flirting.
“I suppose she does if you’re one of them, Kacchan,” Midoriya teases back, getting even closer to that invisible line.
“Besides, it suits you. Only a Deku would try to steal someone else’s car without realizing it.”
“If you’re keeping Deku, I’m keeping Kacchan. Just warning you,” he says, raising an eyebrow but with humor on his voice.
“Fine by me,” he answers, smiling.
Suddenly, the Christmas party doesn’t sound so boring. The idea of celebrating Christmas as a whole becomes way more enticing. And Katsuki won’t make the same mistake of letting Deku leave without getting his phone number twice.
“Here, Izuku,” Sero says, handing him his drink. “Hope you like eggnog.”
“Never had it,” Midoriya answers with a small smile directed at Katsuki. “But it’s a nice day to get to know new things.”
“Everyone! Don’t forget to put your Secret Santa gifts under the tree!” Pinky screams.
“Just a moment,” Katsuki tells Izuku, rushing to Shity Hair’s kitchen.
He knows Kirishima keeps a pad and a pen laying around to make shopping lists. Katsuki quickly grabs the items and scratches Coupon for 1 date with Katsuki Bakugou on the paper. Then he folds it twice and writes Izuku Midoriya on it. He drops the little folded paper under the tree, with the rest of the Secret Santa gifts, praying he didn’t read the mood between them wrong.
It’s hard to believe he did when Deku approaches him the second Katsuki is back to the living room and engages in conversation as if they haven’t stopped since the hospital’s waiting room. And when Deku’s eyes shine so bright looking into Katsuki’s. And when they spend the whole night side by side, just talking, teasing, flirting…
After that night, Katsuki decides Christmas is his favorite holiday. What is not to like about gifts and Christmas miracles?
