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English
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so obsessed i might actually watch hockey
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Published:
2026-02-11
Updated:
2026-02-19
Words:
1,784
Chapters:
9/?
Comments:
45
Kudos:
365
Bookmarks:
49
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6,264

Ilya Rozanov should have never been left unsupervised on twitter

Summary:

@rozthebest81
I dedicate all my goals tonight to Hayden Pike, so that he can finally know what it feels like to score

OR
Ilya being completely unhinged on twitter
(On multiple accounts)

Notes:

After 10 years writing Fanfiction and publishing it here
It was this asshole from Russia behind a chaotic gremlin that made me learn html

This couldn't have been done without the work of @starskin and their wonderful manual on how to format twitter skins
I owe you my current tiny moment of sanity that allowed me to write this!

And a huge huge thank you to @grocerystoredivorce for putting me on that masterpost
I APPRECIATE YOU SO MCUH!
Also go and read their fic "Ilya Rozanov vs. the shayden fandom" it's perfection I love it so much!

ENJOY

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Chapter 1

Summary:

The beginning of the end

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

Boston Bears
@bostonbears_hockey

We at the Boston Bears are extremely proud to announce the drafting of the young and talented Ilya Rozanov! He is an excellent player, all the way from Russia, and has been the first draft of the season, showing his talent and love for the game. He has a blinding future ahead of him and we at Boston could not be prouder to welcome him with open arms, ready to see what he has in store for us.

10:13 AM · June 28, 2009

51.9K Retweets    3.6K Quote Tweets    139.1K Likes

Илья
@rozthebest81

Hello Twitter! I heard you wanted me here, as you should. And I aim to please.

10:14 AM · June 28, 2009

23.3K Retweets    924 Quote Tweets    72.1K Likes

Notes:

I am going to try and end each "chapter" with a chaotic/unhinged/gremlinesque/borderline PR disaster/absolutely insane tweet from Ilya, so stay tuned!

THERE IS NO AI USE HERE, ALL THE PHOTOS IVE FOUND ON THE INTERNET! Fuck gen ai. I hate it.