Chapter Text
Chara woke up to the sound of their alarm. And Asriel's annoyed groan, but that was irrelevant, he should be used to their routine by now.
Chara's eyes open and they can pratically feel the disgusting feelings around their body, why wouldn't anyone else wake at 4:00am? Its just two hours earlier than class.
Frisk calls it OCD. They say its being organized, unlike the former whom didn't even shower in the morning. Chara's nose scrunched up at the thought, they were already getting restless so Chara got out of bed with all the calm them had at the moment. Them started doing their bed. First the white sheets, them take it off and put a new one on everyday. Second, the red sheets Asriel had got them, they put it on the washer meticulously, they watched unmoving as the machine started. Third, they put new bedsheets and fixed everything until It was properly smoothed out and clean.
they put it on the washer meticulously, they watched unmoving as the machine started.
1. 2. 3. 4...Now them can go. Chara was quick to dispose of their clothes and fold they smoothly, the law major had their scary smile already etched on their face, stepping on the bath they started scrubbing their hands aggresively. Washing away the filthy. The dirty. Eight times.
WASH AWAY ANYTHING THAT MAKES THEM HUMAN.
Chara stopped once their skin was raw. Almost bleeding. Once the sweet embrace of pain enveloped their being them relaxed and grinned wider.
Sweet, sweet pain.
After washing themselves atleast five times, them step out of the shower. They look in the mirror, grimacing when seeing their overly human face. How disgusting...
Something them can never fully wash away is their humanity. Its always there. Always plaguing their mind. Especially once them meet those stupid, dumb friends' of Frisk.
Once them get out of the bathroom they put on black gloves, feeling better once the feeling of touching things goes away. They were wearing a long-sleeved turtleneck, green with a yellow stripe and brown cargo pants, their hair brushed multiple times until they were satisfied.
Now them needed to clean their knifes.
Not the kitchen cutlery, them had already washed all of it the last night and forbid Asriel from touching anything till them left the dorm.
Their collection of knifes. The ones them really like. The ones them bought with their money alone.
(If their favorite knife is one Frisk, Asriel and Clover got them, no one needs to know.)
Them take out their favorite knife out of its place, its the sharpest one, and also one that was gifted to them. Currently, them have 18. Asriel was at first very worried about the sharp objects. Chara assured him nothing bad would happen.
(Then them got their first ever gift...)
They frowned at how dusty the knife was. With how busy they were with exams their routine had been shaken. Which made them really, really upset and distressed for most part. Chara was still pissed about Frisk managing to get the best grades without working at all.
Chara starts wiping the knife with a hankerchief, staying with their crimson eyes trained on every piece of dust. Chara could still see, see the germs and dust, so them wipe the knife seven times. They carefully picked it up by the handler after finishing the cleaning and carefully put it back in place, a more genuine half-smile came to their face.
Chara sits on their desk, doing their english essay for the millionth time since them got said assignement. It was not enough. It was not good enough. Them could do better. Chara needed to be perfect.
Asriel said the essay was already incredible. Frisk said it was probably going to get a full mark. Clover said them didn't understand anything aside from the fact it says things about justice and law.
But Chara can't have probabilities to fail. Them need it to be completely perfect. Them need to be unreacheable and unpredictable.
So no one can reach them.
Chara has checked their pocket atleast five times on the last five minutes, checking if their pocket were really with their two pocket knifes. And them had locked and unlocked the door in a specific pattern until satisified that it was really locked and no one would get in
Asriel loved Chara, despite their weirdness. Or when them were creepy. Chara is their sibling, well, not biologically nor legally...but he still knew them ever since they were kids! Even if Chara wouldn't tell him why them ran away from humans.
Chara looked back and turned around to follow their best friend. Forever their best friend.
Them still don't understand how people so sweet like Frisk or Asriel(maybe even Clover) actually stayed with them. But they'd cherish it forever. Quietly, of course. It'd be quite rude to yell how much their friends are wonderful.
Frisk was eating with their hands like a rabid animal, not even using napkins. It made Chara's eye twitches and them exhale, calmly eating their handmade food.
"Ey pardners! Sorry 'am late, english teach had me remake my essay..." Them looked away sheepishly while Frisk looked sympathetic, well, as sympathetic as them could look while squinting.
Chara already told them to use glasses, but apparently 'It itches.'
Chara glared at Clover, Asriel only snorted and started giggling. Chara had been trying to teach Clover things. As much as the cowboy (gender neutral) had good intentions and was quick to understand and memorize laws...
...Them were not so good with the rest of the subjects.
"I helped you write it so many times and you still did it your way, didn't you?" It wasn't really a question, them were still holding that unnatural smile while Frisk almost coughed up their soda.
Later, the rest of their group arrived, chatting and greeting, no one touched Chara. Them knew the latter wasn't much of a hugger.
Chara were tired. So very tired. But what about it? Them needed to clean the dorm room. So they do, Chara doesn't let Asriel help. Them don't want him to mess up their organization.
The lawyer grab a broom and start cleaning away the dirty. The future lawyer can't fathom to touch the trash, so them make Asriel take it out. Most of it was his fur afterall. Chara sighed and
Them take another long and painful shower. The hot water burned their body pleasantly. Them deserved the pain, a few old scars on Chara's start to sting. So them step out, the law student already has enough annoyances — an worried Asriel didn't need to be another one.
Them saw their...parents. It didn't make sense at all, Chara had ran away long ago. Yet now them saw those vile human beings berating them, It was loud. Loud. Loud. So loud and hurtful. Why did them feel hurt? Why were them crying? Chara hated those people too. Chara hated all of them in this damned Village and they wished for ITS DEATH to not ever see humanity again.
Them hated the bottles on the ground, them hated when their mom said Chara is a freak and when their father said that not having gender is a sin. Chara hated the feelings of hands on their body, be it hitting or touching. The adults always touched with malice. It hurt. It hurt a lot. He Them hated everything and everyone. Everyone.
Those strange nightmares have been happening for years, yet its something Chara will never get used to. They have always loved patterns, but this one them wanted to erase from existence.
Everytime something different happened...now Chara walked through the woods with a broken ankle. It happened the day they escaped, their mother called them a desgrace and didn't let them put a bandage on. Chara just kept walking, kept that fake, terryfying smile on their face as their feet dragged through the mood with pain and their hollow eyes looked ahead...
And now the strange part came...Chara never jumped into a mountain...
"Are you okay?! You look hurt!" Them looked up at the copypasta of Asriel when he was young, the same worried brown eyes, the same kind, unsure smile, the same fluffy, white fur. They laughed, maybe something that never changed was How pathetic them were. And how Asriel, ever the kind soul, always came in the rescue of a filthy human. "Hey...did you hit your head? Here, take my hand, I will take you to my parents!" His innocent voice snapped Chara back to reality, them wanted to mouth something, to say no because they shouldn't be a burden to Asriel.
But them couldn't, too tired to do anything but lean on the kind boy. Kind monster child. Even what the humans called monsters were gentle...
As Chara was slowly walked towards a castle that felt familiar, like a distant memory, yet them couldn't ever recall when this happened. Chara always remembered, so this was strange. But them did recognize the multiple monsters around, they were all bowing to Asriel...strange too, their...brother is the golden boy, but not to THAT point.
Then when them got to the castle the Queen and King answered....Toriel and Asgore? Well duh, if Asriel was born it means these two exist...
But that means Asriel is a prince.
This is the strangest dream Chara has ever had.
Them woke up gasping and sweating before the alarm even started, when staring at their own hands all Chara saw were golden flowers. The same one them consumed in their dream.
Then when the future lawyer blinked, everything was...human again. Maybe the flowers were better, how can them sign up for this?
Well, them can't. But whatever. Asriel is going to wake up soon, them just need to act normal. Or well, their type of normal. So the routine starts. Them smile unnaturaly as Asriel gets up after his usual 30 minutes of sleeping.
What would them do without that crybaby? Heh, probably be found dead in a ditch.
Them chuckled subtly at the thought and watched as Asriel walked towards the bathroom with a half asleep expression, them acted indifferent, yet Chara still made sure that there was nothing for him to trip on.
That idiot...they hoped he passes his exams, despite all of their flaws and humanity, them loved monsters just like how the creatures showed them how...loving is.