Work Text:
It’s on one of her rare days off that Rose gets the pleasant surprise of Shane Hollander’s name on an incoming call. She’s fresh out of the shower, dry, still lounging in her towel, scrolling on her phone when she gets the call. “Hey cutie,” she answers.
“Hi. Uh. Thanks. Hey.” Shane sounds out of breath. “Do you— are you in the middle of something? Do you have a minute?”
“For you? I have all day.” Other than hitting the gym earlier this morning and doing some character research for an upcoming role, Rose has absolutely no plans today. “What’s up?”
“I need, I mean, can I ask you for, uh, relationship? Advice?”
Rose sits bolt upright. Half her towel falls off and she tucks it around her waist. “You’re seeing someone? Congratulations! When did that happen?”
“It depends. On, um. When you count from. So, officially? Five, six months?”
Rose smacks her hand against her mattress. “Six MONTHS?!?! When were you gonna tell me?”
“Unofficially, like, seven years,” Shane continues. “It was on and off.”
Rose sits there, jaw hanging, for a good couple seconds. She takes a breath and says: “Can you gimme a quick sec?”
He says sure.
Rose hits mute and yells “OH MY GAWD!!!” to her empty house, letting it echo. She leaves her damp towel on the bed, gets up and shrugs on a fluffy bathrobe. Unmutes her phone.
“Okay, so you’ve been with this guy officially for about six months; congrats, that’s already longer than half of my relationships, so take whatever I say with a grain of salt. How did it happen? What changed from ‘seven years on and off’ to now?”
“There was the summer. We spent the summer together up at my cottage.” Shane sounds calmer, his words flowing easier, less like he’s fighting to get them out.
“He’s been to the cottage?” Rose awws. “I haven’t been to your cottage. I watch that Architectural Digest video when I need to chill out. It seems so peaceful.”
“It is,” he says, fully at ease now. “It was perfect. It was like the first time we really talked.”
“Seven years and you hadn’t talked?”
“It was casual.” She can almost hear Shane dragging his fingers through his hair. “I mean, we’d go months without seeing each other.”
Rose curls an arm around one of her bedposts, knee up on the bed. She hums to say go on.
“And then, this summer— well. A little before that actually. Remember when I got hurt?”
“You broke your collarbone, right?” Rose asks. “How are you feeling by the way?”
“Oh the collarbone’s fixed,” he assures. “But when it happened, he uh…”
She can hear the smile crawl across his face. One of those rare, real Shane Hollander smiles.
Shane says, “He came to visit me in the hospital.”
“Awwww!” Rose says out loud.
“It was cute, he was so worried,” he says, still smiling. “And I, yeah, I invited him up to the cottage for the summer. Morphine made me bold.”
Rose blasts out a laugh. “It does that.”
“Yeah, and it was perfect. Well, almost perfect. He met my parents.”
Rose’s heart plummets. “Oh honey, did it not go well?”
“Went about as well as it could’ve, actually.” The smile in his voice is gone, replaced with a tinge of tension. “They were more thrown by who he was than the fact it’s a he.”
“Who is he?” Rose asks without thinking. Immediately, she self-corrects. “Nevermind, you don’t have to tell me.”
Shane is silent for a moment before saying, “Yeah, alright. I know you can keep a secret.”
Rose nods, even though Shane can’t see her.
“It’s ah…” his voice drops to that of a murmur. “Ilya Rozenov.”
Rose lets out a deeply unattractive scream-laugh. It actually stings her throat a little bit. Damn, she hopes she didn’t just injure something. She’s due in the studio for some voice-over work in a few days. Rose clears her throat. “Seriously?”
“Seriously.”
“Seven years, then—“ Rose starts doing mental math.
“Since the summer before rookie season,” Shane finishes the thought for her. “The whole time.”
“Wow,” says Rose, amazed. “Wow. Congrats again.”
“Thanks. I mean. Might all be over now. I don’t know.”
Right. Shane had called in a crisis, but something about his tone right now is giving crashout-over-nothing. Rose isn’t about to say that, so instead she asks what he’s worried about.
“Okay. Um. It’s. Rozanov texted this morning with a picture of him in a hotel bathroom. I couldn’t tell it was him at first and that freaked me out because I didn’t recognize him and. I sent a question mark like…? And he said he shaved his head.”
Rose gasps audibly.
“That’s what I said.” Shane is pacing on the other end, working himself back into a panic. “And I asked why, and he said he needed a change, whatever that means, and then asked if I like it, and tried to video call me but I don’t wanna see Ilya with a shaved head! I want the Ilya I’ve known for seven years, the man I fell in love with, that man, who has curly blonde hair!”
Rose draws breath to interrupt his tailspin, but it’s starting to sound like Shane needs to get it all out first, so she waits.
“I like his hair. I like how it’s all floppy and it shines when the sun hits it and how it sticks to his face and neck when it’s wet. I like touching his hair and just having my fingers all in it, it’s soothing and I’m not good at lying, you know that. And he keeps trying to call me and I lied over text and said I was driving and couldn't reply but he knows me he knows when I’m lying. I know he’s having issues with, I don’t know, the Russia of it all, and how he said he doesn’t wanna go back and I support him but, and he says he’s fine when I ask but he’s not and I know that and I don’t know what to do and I don’t want to push him away but I HATE that he shaved his head!”
Shane is, understandably, winded after all that. Rose soothes him and leads him in a couple of big, deep breaths. He starts to apologize but she shushes him. “Shane,” she says softly. “I have to tell you, this is an incredibly normal crashout to have.”
“Really?”
“Really. I promise you are not the first person to question the future of your relationship after your partner changed their hairstyle.”
Shane’s relief is clear in his voice. “I’m not overreacting?”
Rose makes a noncommittal noise. “Look, I dated a guy for like, six weeks, and it was fun, alright, but then he cut his hair for a role— not bald but like, military grunt flat-top buzz cut and…” she kisses her teeth loudly. “It was over. All attraction gone.”
“That’s what I’m scared of!” Shane insists.
“I don’t think you have to worry about that though, in your position.” She goes on. “Me? Six weeks. Lukewarm. Could’ve gone either way. You? Seven years plus six months and you used the words ‘in love’ with zero hesitation. Give yourself some credit, okay?”
Shane sighs. “So what do I do? What do I say? I can’t lie to him. Last I checked he was offering to wear a wig if I hated it that much. Rose, Ilya in a wig would be so much worse!”
Rose laughs.
“I honestly can’t tell if he’s joking!” Shane says.
“Okay, okay,” says Rose, getting her shit together. “First of all, a fact. Two facts. Sometimes the people we love make bad decisions. Doesn't mean we have to agree, but we don't have to stop loving them either. Also. End of the day, it's just hair. It will grow back."
Shane huffs out a breath, but doesn't argue.
Smiling, Rose goes on. "Here’s what we’re gonna do. You and me, we’re gonna write a text, that you’re not gonna send until you’ve read it back to me. After that, you’re gonna call Ilya Rozenov back and you’ll already have said the things you really need to.”
“Okay,” says Shane.
“And then you’re gonna text me and tell me how it went.”
“Okay,” Shane says with a smile. “What should it say?”
S: I love you. That will never change. You could kill someone and I’d still love you. Your dick could fall off and I’d still want you. But I wish you’d talked to me before cutting it off.
S: your hair not your dick
S: also don’t cut your dick off. I’m kinda attached to it.
Ilya: so am i 😈
It’s six hours later that Shane texts Rose.
Shane: sorry forgot to text. Thanks for all your help. :)
Rose: glad it went well!! Is it as bad as you thought?
Shane: it will grow back. 😐