Archive of Our Own

Kris’ world is crumbling around them.

They always knew, on some level, that the path they had chosen would lead them down this lonely route. And yet, something curls up and dies within them to be here without Susie or Ralsei by their side. To be here without any partner, without any indication that they did the right thing.

It certainly doesn’t feel right.

It leaves a bitter taste in their mouth, an empty feeling in their chest.

After everything they had built with them, with Susie… Gods the way she had looked at them.

The anger and disgust in those eyes would haunt them forever. But the distrust.

The hurt.

That is the worst part of it…

Kris has always known where their loyalties lie, what game they are playing, and what all is at stake, but… But somehow, somewhere along the way, they had gotten so attached and forgotten this isn’t something they would get to keep.

They hurt their friends.

And Susie has had enough of them. She said as much, before she pulled Ralsei along, leaving them alone in the dark.

There was a time there wouldn’t have been the slightest shadow of a doubt in their mind that they were doing the right thing, sticking with Dess, not giving up on her.

And now… doubts clog and fester in their mind, dread hanging over them like a wraith.

Their steps – once again not their own – carry them back to Castle Town.

Kris doesn’t want to walk in there as if nothing has changed, knowing Susie and Ralsei would be down there. At the same time, the choice isn’t theirs, and despite it all they hope they would get to see her again. Get a chance to explain, anything.

The Soul doesn’t share those wishes.

It carries them into Seam’s shop, shadow crystal in hand.

--

“Do you have it? The final Shadow Crystal??”

Seam’s voice holds all the world’s surprise.

Kris offers it to them wordlessly.

“Hahaha! Well done, Kris!” They bring it to a drawer behind the counter. “And now… the games will truly begin…”

Kris isn’t feeling quite as cheerful.

“Come see me later, and I will have created something suitably formidable.” Seam smiles close-eyed. “Now… I just need… one more thing from you.”

Oh?

“The Shadow Mantle. It is amazing that you found it again, Kris… Maybe I can help you put it to better use.”

Kris doesn’t have that on them. They are a party of one now, and the reminder smarts something awful.

“Why do you need it?” they ask.

“Why…? Why, it’s vital to what I am preparing!”

Kris cannot fathom why that would be the case. Either way, it is entirely moot.

“I don’t have it,” Kris admits. Their heart twinges.

“What?! What do you mean you don’t have it?” There’s an edge to Seam’s voice that sends alarm bells ringing in Kris’ head. “You had it the last time, Kris, you found it, didn’t you? Somehow…”

Seam’s mouth twists bitterly and they look away.

“… I don’t have it,” Kris repeats. “It’s with Susie –”

“Of course!” That seems to calm them. “Yes, yes, haha, of course! A wise decision. Well, then, Kris, why don’t you go get it from her?”

Kris shifts uncomfortably.

Absurdly the first thing they feel is shame at the situation they find themself in. To have to explain to someone that the heroes of legend had had a falling out because Kris was batting for the other side… That Kris once again found themself without a friend.

“We aren’t…” The suspicions from earlier return tenfold now though and Kris shakes themself of all other feelings they might have on the matter. “Why… do you need it so bad?”

Seam gives them a surprised look.

“It’s for your own benefit, Kris,” they cajole. “I simply don’t want all the hard work you heroes put in to go to waste now.”

Something’s off.

Kris starts to back away out of the shop, an excuse on the tip of their tongue. Seam’s face drops into a wry expression at that, all hint of amusement gone.

With a flick of their wrist, they send a sharp attack Kris’ way. Kris evades the needle but it goes around them, the thread binding them in place and pulling them behind the counter.

“If Susie has the mantle, I will simply take it from her,” Seam muses. “And I don’t need you to get all suspicious and clue her in too. So long… Kris…”

Kris struggles harshly against the bounds, the Soul shining its power trying to do something.

Seam’s eyes wander to the light, a smile curling up again.

“Oh! Maybe I have some use of you yet, Lightner.”

--

“… They’re here,” Ralsei whispers meekly.

Susie looks at him and can’t keep the scorn off her face. She knows who he means, of course.

Kris.

“And why does that matter, Ralsei?” she gibes. “They got some nerve… Coming back here after… ARGH!”

She gets up and starts pacing around, working some of the tension off. Ralsei sits by, nervousness dripping off his posture.

“Susie, I really think we should –”

“Do not even think about going to them! We’re done with them, Ralsei. They betrayed us. I can’t believe I ever trusted them…”

She sits back down, something dark falling over her features. She keeps her gaze trained away from Ralsei.

“I should have known… Why else would they –” Her mouth snaps shut, nostrils flaring. Susie wants to be nothing but angry but there’s a scared little part of her that just feels lost. Untethered.

A soft hand lands on her shoulder.

“I’m so sorry for how things fell out, Susie…” Ralsei consoles. “But… there must be a reason –” Susie interrupts with a scoff – “there must be. I have to believe that… And that beside, you know we need all three of us to progress anywhere. Even if for nothing else, then for that… Don’t you think they deserve a chance to at least tell their side?”

“What could they possibly say that would make this okay, Ralsei?” She sounds tired. She doesn’t care to hide it from him. “And how could we ever trust them to be telling us the truth even when they explain?”

“Susie… please look at me.”

Ralsei’s hand slips from her shoulder to rest on her clenched fist. His fingers start working to unclasp hers.

“I’m sure you felt betrayed… when I was hiding all those things from you.”

Her eyes widen. “Ralsei –”

He shakes his head. “But I got to explain myself, Susie. And you found it in your heart to forgive me, once you knew… Isn’t it possible that Kris has a good reason for this too?”

The most weary of sighs escapes Susie. At length she nods, going up easily when Ralsei tugs at her.

“Come on, let’s go find them. They must be around town somewhere.”

--

Reluctantly, Susie follows Ralsei into Seam’s shop, still pissed despite Ralsei’s talk. If nothing else, at least she would get to shout at Kris more.

They aren’t in the shop either though.

“Hello Seam,” Ralsei greets. “We were just looking for Kris. You haven’t seen them, have you?”

“Can’t say that I have, young prince. But please, come on in! I have need to speak with you both anyway.”

“Oh! What about Seam?”

“Yeah, whatever, it can wait,” Susie starts pulling Ralsei out.

“Wait! Please. It is important, and it is YOU I must speak to Susie,” Seam insists.

“Me?” Susie turns back, approaching the counter again. “Fine, shoot. What is it?”

“You hold the Shadow Mantle, do you not? I need it.”

“What, this thing?” Susie’s hand flows over the cape-like thing Kris had given her. Maybe she should have taken it off already… “Uhh yeah. Why? What do you want it for?”

“It is for something I was creating for you heroes,” Seam says jovially. “I suppose you don’t remember me saying so… oh well! No matter now. So? Might I have it?”

Susie couldn’t care less about any odd piece of armour, but Ralsei stops her.

“Seam… I’m sorry but this is… something we might need.” He looks at Susie nervously. “I don’t think we should part with it… without… you know, asking Kris…”

Susie’s eyes flash with anger.

Just for that, out of spite she wants to give over the mantle. But then Seam speaks again.

“Oh! Well, my dears, Kris already knows of what I’m creating for you! Really, now, Kris would have given me the mantle. They have been giving me the Shadow Crystals all this time as well.”

“Yeah well, fuck what Kris would do!” Susie growls. “Not like anything they did can be trusted. And Kris isn’t here now. I don’t care what deal you had with them, we’re not giving you jack. Come on, Ralsei.”

She turns to leave again but the curtains that form the entrance to the shop suddenly draw closed tight, the edges sewing together. A sigh behind her makes her turn to see Seam not looking too pleased anymore.

“Oh, you two… I had really hoped it would not come to this…”

“Seam…” Ralsei sounds apprehensive, moving a little to stand in front of Susie. “What… what are you doing?”

“What I have to,” they respond, producing a weapon from under the counter.

It appears to be a staff at first, glowing with magic. The five shadow crystals form the head of it, utterly confusing to behold, the shadows they cast dancing and the visions they show merging together in a cacophony. The head loops like the head of a sewing needle, but the shape shifts too much to comprehend it fully.

When Seam lifts it with both hands though, it becomes clear it is more than a magic sceptre.

The head of it is followed by a broken sword – edges sharp and dangerous and rough, jagged where it breaks off, runes running along the blade that glows with unfathomable power.

Ralsei gasps at the sight.

It only sets Susie more on edge, reaching for her own axe.

“On the bright side,” Seam says, nonchalant, “this gives me the perfect opportunity to test out the ShadowCaster.”

And they are pulled into a battle.

Shadows surround them, licking like flames, messing up their vision wherever they can gaze. Seam’s face is shadowed, brilliant colours cast by the visions dancing on their face and catching in their eyes.

“The hell do you think you’re doing?” Susie growls, fingers flexing around her axe. “We’re supposed to be on the same side!”

“There is no side I can afford to be on but my own, Lightner.” Seam’s voice is level. Their posture still and measured. They spin the staff expertly, no wasted movements, and fling the sword side towards the two.

At first nothing happens.

Then, darkness rolls towards them, sounds like thunder growing closer.

“Susie, guard!” Ralsei shouts and goes into a defensive position.

Susie follows just in time as the darkness transform into a thousand brilliant shards. It’s impossible to make them out by themselves but they cast shadows upon the ground. Susie can’t dodge them all.

They rip through scales and fluff alike, the heroes blown backwards by the impact.

“Fine, you wanna fight?” Susie grits her teeth, readying her attack. “Ralsei, let’s show this guy what we’re made of!”

Ralsei nods determined, his scarf tightening in preparation before lashing out just as Susie lets her axe fly.

Their weapons meet resistance midway, thrown back by some unseen barrier.

“What…”

“You…” Ralsei’s eyes widen in recognition. “What – what did you do?”

A strange light shines behind Seam, and now that Susie knows what to look for, she can see the shield emerging from it. Seam grins at them, almost mellow.

“Fret not, dear prince. I am only borrowing it. Call it a safeguard, yes?”

“Ralsei, what the hell are they talking about?”

“The Soul… They have the Soul.” Ralsei looks afraid. And Ralsei is all Susie has to take cues from because none of this is making any sense.

“What Soul, what is happening here?!”

“Kris’ Soul,” Ralsei says urgently, turning to her fully. “Susie, our attacks can’t go through!”

“Like hell they can’t,” she mutters, eyes narrowing. “Everything has a breaking point.”

“Susie, wait –”

Susie doesn’t wait.

Gearing up, she lets Rude Buster fly through the air, preparing herself for impact if it bounced back.

It goes straight through the barrier and hits Seam, who staggers back.

Ralsei makes an incredulous noise. “Magical attacks can go through…!”

“Heh. Told you we’d find a way.”

“You simple-minded children,” Seam snarls, the staff glowing in their hands. “You do not know the powers you stand against. You think these spells will help you? They are peanuts! You never stood a chance, not against what is written and not against ME!”

Seam hefts the sword up and lets it fly towards them, the weapon breaking up into a tenfold simulacrum of itself, darkness following through them like thread.

It leaves jagged cuts all over.

Susie grunts from the brunt.

She looks beside her to find Ralsei kneeling on the ground, ruffled and way too hurt. He picks himself back up as she watches on in concern.

“Ralsei, heal yourself!” Susie commands.

Ralsei shakes his head grimly.

“If I heal, you won’t be able to attack, not here in battle.” He looks to her, determined. “Don’t worry about me, Susie, keep doing what you were.”

“What… why are you so much more hurt?”

“Now you see why I need the Mantle, Susie?” Seam asks conversationally. “There is no surviving our fate without it. Sorry to say, I have to look out for number one.”

“Screw you!” Susie spits. “Ugh, damn Kris for giving you those crystals, what the hell were they thinking?!”

“What…” Ralsei’s interrupted with a cough, trying again. “What did you do with Kris…? How do you have the Soul?”

“Does it matter?” Seam raises an eyebrow. “Your friend here would have me believe that there is trouble in paradise indeed.”

“Enough talking,” Susie says gruffly. If Ralsei is sacrificing his own health for her to attack, then attack she will.

Pulling back with all her strength she lets another spell fly. Seam almost dodges it, but it catches them on the side and they wince.

When the next attack comes in retaliation, Susie doesn’t waste time in pulling Ralsei behind her.

“Susie, no –!”

She pulls the mantle closer around her, but the impact is still too hard. She grunts, gritting her teeth against it.

“Interesting…” Seam murmurs. “If this is how it must be, then, heroes…”

They raise their staff, and it glows ominously. Illusions dance around the battlefield, real attacks mixing in till Susie loses sight of what is real and what isn’t.

The broken sword comes flying towards her and Susie braces with the axe.

It is of no use.

The sword whips around her, and only then does she notice the thin black thread it carries on it.

“Ralsei, look out!”

The warning is too late – the thread wraps around Ralsei’s form, pulling him along behind the barrier when the sword returns.

He’s screaming.

Whatever it is – it isn’t simply a bit of thread. It’s hurting him, the edges of his form sizzling where the thread touches his body.

“What are you doing to him?! LET HIM GO!”

Screw attacking. Susie sends a healing spell through the barrier to hit Ralsei. He stays with his head bowed, squirming and stifling cries.

“S-Susie,” he gasps out, “it won’t… work…”

“Hmm? What won’t work?” Seam looks between the two of them. Look like they didn’t notice the much quieter healing spell amidst the shadows cast around them. “Anything you try to help your friend here is moot, my dear. This thread… it has been moulded from a shard from the Black Knife itself. For a Darkner… well, the young Prince will just unravel in front of your eyes if you don’t hand over the Mantle now.”

“Goddamnit, Ralsei, this isn’t worth it! We don’t need this.” She starts shirking off the cape but then Ralsei cries out –

“Susie, you can’t!” He looks into her eyes. His face is melting, losing form. “I-if you give it up… we’re – we – we’re already dead…”

“You don’t know that,” Seam muses. “You could take the gamble. Isn’t your friend’s life worth it?”

“It is,” Susie grits her teeth. She can’t attack yet… She defends, pulling the mantle tighter against her. “Give me your best shot, jackass!”

Seam looks at her consideringly a moment. Then –

“Very well.”

Horrific cold winds cut against her, and with them a thousand overlapping voices, whispering all her worst fears to her. It’s all a distraction, she knows, but it’s working. The shards carried by the wind catch her in two places, and she almost misses the thread that makes its way to her this time.

She gets away at the last second, breathing heavily from the exertion.

“My turn now,” she grins. Rude Buster is prepared again, strong and ready.

Seam looks bored.

But it isn’t directed at them this time; it flies over their head and onto the thread holding Ralsei up, damaging it greatly. Ralsei whimpers from being jostled, tears dropping from his eyes. But the thread will not survive another blow, she knows it.

“Heh.” Susie’s grin widens.

“That’s one option…” Seam notes, still serene. “Here’s another…”

They mutter an enchantment, the runes on the sword glowing bright red as the thread holding Ralsei up extends, tying around a spiked canopy on the other side. Susie frowns at the scene in confusion.

“It’s time for a reunion, don’t you think? Haha oh yes! I did promise you all a tea party, after all. And it looks like the world is ending as we know it.”

Wish a swish of their hand they bring up Kris, bound and battered beyond belief.

Susie’s eyes widen.

“Kris…”

Their head is hanging low, and they appear to be barely conscious. They seem all but unaware of the spikes hanging over their head.

“Attack the thread all you want, Lightner. One of them might survive this battle yet… And YOU get to choose.” Seam’s smile is finally starting to gain a cruel edge. They are done playing around. “Of course, there’s always the third option… I wonder…” Seam sends an attack flying at Kris, who lets out only a weak whimper, “if you really care as little as you say…?”

Susie shakes with anger.

Her fists are clenched tight and trembling on her axe.

She lowers the weapon, her convictions shaking.

“Su…sie…” Ralsei rasps out, eyes unfocused, “you need… to t-trust me…”

“I do,” she swears.

“You… can’t.” He gulps. “We’re… so close.”

“Ralsei…” her voice shakes. “I can’t do this…”

“It was mine to begin with,” Seam snaps, annoyed. “I don’t know how Kris found it… I had sent it safely away, if you lot had just kept to yourselves, we wouldn’t need to do this right now!”

Susie doesn’t care about any of that. She readies her axe again.

She has to… She has to save Ralsei. Right?

“You can’t!” Ralsei musters up his dying strength to speak. His cheeks are caving in. “Susie… you have to understand… now. I’m not… real.”

“Ralsei, that’s bullshit!”

“I’m NOT!” He breathes heavily, gulping before he goes on. “You can’t… hurt someone real. Not over me. Especially… not Kris. They’re your friend, Susie… Please… End this.”

“You’re not going to let the poor prince die, are you, Susie?” Seam goads. “After everything you three have been through together?”

“Shut up!”

Susie puts the axe back.

“I’m not giving up. Do your worst.”

She sends out another healing spell – but this time to Kris.

It’s not anywhere near enough, but it’s something.

Seam looks at her like she’s the biggest fool they’ve ever seen. They shake their head.

“My worst it is…”

A thunderous rumble.

A tornado of glass shards follows, surrounding her completely. Susie keeps her senses sharp, dodging what she can and using her axe to break through what she can’t. There is a solution here and she will find it. Even if Kris has defected to the other side, even if Ralsei has given up… Susie knows there’s hope and as long as there’s fight left in her she won’t give up on her friends.

The onslaught ends.

Susie moves forward on shaking legs, sending another healing spell to Kris. It is lost amongst the illusions. Seam doesn’t notice it at all; or maybe they don’t know to expect it. Not from Susie.

“Again,” she grits out, preparing herself.

“I don’t know how long you think you can stall this way,” Seam growls, patience wearing thin. “Your friend won’t survive his bounds for long.”

They send another volley of shadows and nightmares her way.

Susie bears it all, grinning against the storm, slipping between the veiled attacks. The fight is tiring her out. But just a little more…

She sees Kris looking at her. Their eyes are glazed but scared, like they are just now realising the situation. The anger, the betrayal, the hurt, it all wells up in her again and it’s almost overwhelming. A part of her wants to give in to it all. She doesn’t want to be the one holding on anymore. She’s so tired…

Voices whisper around her telling it isn’t worth it. That they were never really her friends. That she can just let go. That it’s better the quicker she moves on.

She shakes it all off.

Just one more…

Kris’ eyes widen when the next spell hits them. They start wriggling a little, trying to find a way out. Susie hopes they won’t give the bit away. Sweat pours down her forehead.

“That all you got?” Susie challenges, gritting her teeth against the exhaustion.

“… I don’t know what you think this will achieve,” Seam states lowly, “But if you leave me no choice but to rip that cloak off your cold dead body, well… Don’t think I will have any qualms about that, my dear.”

Seam wraps both hands around the hilt of the staff, leaning on it as the Sword’s jagged end rests on the ground. They start chanting, and the phantom voices around seem to join them, the shadows swirling and surrounding the crystals, ancient runes lighting up in strange colours.

Susie braces, fingers tightening on her own weapon.

All at once, Seam raises the staff and brings the sword crashing on the ground.

The earth itself seems to crack and splinter under Susie’s feet, throwing her back several feet.

The sky follows, the entire world around her shattering like mirror, sending her tumbling.

Attacks come in from unknowable shadows, and Susie falls onto her head, the world turning upside down like a maze of mirrors. She can’t tell what she’s seeing, where to go, what is safe. Shard after shard embeds into her skin, even the mantle not holding up against the ShadowCaster.

There is no way out she can see…

So she closes her eyes.

Susie blocks out every other sensation, every input that is becoming a cacophony around her. She thinks she’s still falling but she pays it no mind, just listening –

There.

Ralsei’s soft pained cry, stifled and unmistakable.

She lets the sound be her guide, following it against gusts of burning shadows and scathing glass, to the very edge of the barrier that still stands between then.

She opens her eyes again, face inches away from Seam’s and glares them down.

“Give. It. Up,” she grits out.

Seam’s old, frail hand atop the hilt is shaking too, more and more the longer they stand there facing off.

They gasp at long last, the spell breaking, and stagger back.

The world slowly sets itself right again.

Susie blinks back the stars from her vision.

“What… are you going to do?” Seam gasps out between breaths. “Wait me out…?”

Susie lifts her axe and bares her teeth.

“Checkmate, asshole.”

Rude Buster leaves her and Seam ducks instinctively. But it isn’t headed their way.

The sheer force of it knocks Kris off, severing their ties and sending them flying back. They land in a heap, bones cracking and a pained sound escaping them.

“What…?”

Seam looks back surprised at where Kris has fallen.

They are hurt. Bad. But they start crawling, making their way to Ralsei on the other side.

Susie gets there first, another spell flying fast, snapping the thread that’s leeching all life out of him.

Ralsei falls to the ground, gasping a breath. The thread unravels around him but he doesn’t move, every part of him appearing caved in.

“Ralsei!” Susie calls, pulling Seam’s attention to her again.

“That’s ENOUGH!” they snarl. “Playtime’s over.”

They pull the ShadowCaster out from the ground, readying another attack. Whatever it is, Susie is prepared to take it. All that matters is that Kris and Ralsei are safe now.

She takes a deep breath, readying her axe.

A bright light interrupts the battle.

Susie doesn’t want to lose sight of the attacks but she shields her eyes anyway. A harsh crash sounds out, and when the light dims Kris is standing behind Seam with the Soul in their hand.

The barrier is gone.

Susie grins.

“Just you and me now, threads.”

Foregoing all ceremony, Susie bashes Seam over the head with her blade. The ShadowCaster clatters to the ground. She picks it up before they can get there, feeling its power, its magic rush through her veins.

“Bet you didn’t know how many spells I knew.” She stalks to where they are lying on the ground, leaning over them menacingly. “This one’s called Sleepy Go Bye-bye.”

With all the cosmic power of the shadow crystals assisting her magic, Susie only casts a simple Pacify.

Whatever became of Seam, she doesn’t care. And she doesn’t care to be the one to decide it.

--

“Susie…”

Kris’ soft voice pulls her away from the scene.

They are kneeling next to Ralsei, holding up his head against their thigh.

He doesn’t look like he’s even breathing.

“Ralsei…” She drops the staff and hurries to the pair, taking Ralsei’s face in her hands.

His eyes are open to slits but not focusing on anything.

“I’m sorry…” Kris’ voice cracks.

“Yeah, you should be!” All the fury from before returns. Susie looks back at Kris, ready to spit fire, but they just… they look so small just then.

They shake and cower, injured in more places than Susie can count, one of their arms hanging limp from a dislocated shoulder, looking the very image of misery.

They look terrified.

“Why’d you do it, Kris?” Her voice shakes with bitterness. Tears are forming in her eyes and she feels betrayed by them too. “WHY?!” She hopes if she can get angry enough, the anger will just replace all the hurt. “Why were you working with the Knight? Why were you giving these – these crystals to Seam? Why have you been LYING to us this whole damn time?!”

Kris loses their own battle against their tears.

They shake their head. “You have to heal him…”

And just like that, Susie deflates again.

Her own tears never fall in the end. Lips pursed, she bows her head over Ralsei, placing a palm over his chest. The healing magic flows, sure and strong, reviving him slowly. His face seems to start filling in some, but…

“It’s not enough…” Susie mutters. It’s never enough.

It’s all too much.

Susie hunches over Ralsei’s still form, body shaking with despair and suppressed sobs.

She doesn’t know when it will ever be enough, when she will get to just have something good without it falling apart right in front of her eyes.

Kris shuffles and moves, standing up. Tiredly, Susie watches their movements from the corner of her eyes.

They limp slowly to where the ShadowCaster lies discarded.

Of course. She snorts. Of course Kris is more interested in their shiny new sword. It’s what this whole thing was about, wasn’t it?

The edge of the broken blade scrapes against the ground as Kris pulls it along with their broken wrist. They nudge Susie, waiting for her to glare up at them before pushing the hilt of the sword – covered in the crystals – into her hand.

She gapes at them.

They wrap her fingers around the sword, tighter. A flinch of the shoulder is the only indication they give of the pain their wrist must cause from this.

“Try with this…”

The magic thrums in her again, unlike any other she has felt before. It is warm, and bright, and red, like rubies.

Susie nods.

Kris’ knees buckle and they fall beside her again, catching themself on the broken wrist with a cry. Susie’s arm going around them is the only thing that keeps them from careening down further.

“Easy, shit, just… point at it next time,” she mumbles, setting them down. “And you’re next, dumbass. Ralsei said you must have a good reason for what you did… I can’t think of any good reasons to do this but you better not prove him wrong once I heal you too.”

They nod, refusing to look at her.

Susie barely has to think of the spell before the crystals bloom with her intentions, bending to her will. The spell pours out, knitting every hollowed-out piece of Ralsei back together. Susie isn’t even sure it is her doing the spell anymore – the staff seems to have a life of its own.

Once Ralsei is whole again, the shadows grow dim, the staff falling quiet. Susie sets it aside, shaking him, not daring to breathe wrong just yet.

Ralsei’s eyes flutter open. He looks at her with those big dumb pink eyes of his, blinking stupidly.

“I’m still here…” he says with wonder.

The tears do fall then, Susie half-gathering Ralsei into her arms, half-falling onto him on the ground.

Never do that to me again, she wants to say. But the blubbering noises that leave her between gasping sobs can barely count as words. His hand strokes her arm gently, saying nothing, only accepting her – messy snotty tears and all.

Then he tenses up, remembering something –

“Where’s Kris?” He shoots up, and Susie lets herself be dragged up too, looking away.

Somehow, of all things… she cannot have Kris see her like this right now. Not after everything…

But Ralsei does see them and the state they are in.

“Kris?! Oh, my word, Kris, are you – no of course you’re not okay…”

Ralsei slips out from Susie’s embrace and she lets him go readily, feeling wrung out. Her hands fall limp against her thighs. She can’t bring herself to move, only hearing it all happen behind her – Ralsei leaving her there to go after Kris, healing them like she had said she would, Kris’ quiet voice mumbling something over and over like a chant to Ralsei.

“Kris, it’s okay…” Ralsei soothes them.

“… ‘It’s okay’?” Susie growls lowly. She whips around, standing and stalking to where the two are on the ground. “How is ANY of this ‘okay’?! How can you say that, Ralsei? Without even hearing what they have to say for themself, for any of this? This whole mess is their fault!”

“Susie!” Ralsei stops her.

“What?!”

“Please, just… stop… just give them some time, they…” He trails off, looking back at Kris.

Susie follows his gaze to where Kris is still sat on the ground, refusing to look up. Their hair is falling over their face, so Susie can’t make their face out. But in the silence, the too-fast breaths ring out clear.

“We can talk later… can’t we?” Ralsei pleads.

Susie wants to hold onto the anger, she does. She tries, even, clawing at it as she feels it escaping, dissipating into thin air. But in the end, more than that, she wants things to be fine again.

It hurts to not just be angry.

It hurts to admit how badly she just wants them all to be fine again.

… For Kris to be fine, now.

The fight leaves her and she nods. Walking closer, Susie puts a hand on Kris’ shoulder.

They flinch at the touch but then go completely still, not a sound escaping them.

She stays there waiting them out. They don’t make a move.

“Dude, you gotta breathe eventually, y’know…”

And they do, breathing out in something that could have been a laugh or a sob. The shaking starts up under Susie’s hand and so does the murmured chanting she heard earlier, the words actually reaching her now.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I –”

Her heart twists.

It’s easier to believe Ralsei, seeing them like this – no one would do something they regret this much without a good reason.

“Kris…” she sighs, wrapping a hand around their arm and pulling.

They stumble onto shaky legs, head still downturned. She tries to catch their eye.

“Look, you can be sorry in there, you know. With us. And explain. But…” She steps closer when they still won’t move. “But later. Suppose there’s no hiding it but… I’m really just… I’m glad you’re both okay, y’know?”

They sniffle and nod.

“Ugh, I can’t take this anymore…” Susie mutters, and then she’s pulling them into her, wrapping herself around their shivering frame. Once she has them right there, it’s so easy to feel all that fear and concern for them that had her choking just moments ago, just wanting them to be safe.

Her arms tighten around them instinctively, crushing them in her embrace.

Her voice is thick when she speaks.

“I’m so fucking glad you’re okay, Kris I –” she sniffles, hiding her face in their hair, “I was scared I – I hurt you too bad…” She breaks off, unable to go on.

Behind her, Ralsei comes up to rub at her back, a quiet support.

“I don’t deserve you…” Kris whispers.

“Don’t tell me what we deserve!” she says fiercely. “Just show me… that we get to keep this.”

She feels them nodding against her chest.

And that’s good enough for now.