Archive of Our Own

“Hyung…”

Junghwan felt heat flood through his body as he looked down at the person beneath him calling his name in that breathless voice. Dohoon’s wrists were pinned above his head by one of Junghwan’s hands. The contrast between Junghwan’s pale skin and Dohoon’s warm tan felt too vivid, too intimate, like a detail his mind had no business noticing so clearly. Junghwan’s other hand hovered near Dohoon’s waist, not quite touching, but close enough to feel the heat rising from him.

Dohoon’s face was flushed, his lips slightly parted as he breathed hard underneath Junghwan. His shirt had ridden up and was bunched above his chest, exposing skin Junghwan had never really paid attention to before. Dohoon was not particularly built, but he was not thin either. He had a softness to him that somehow made Junghwan’s chest tighten and his stomach twist with an unfamiliar kind of heat.

“Hyung…” Dohoon called again, his voice lower this time, almost pleading.

Junghwan hovered above him, unsure of how they had ended up in this position. He didn’t even recognize the room they were in. Was it Dohoon’s bed? His own? Somewhere else entirely? None of it made sense, and yet it felt terrifyingly real. The air felt thick. Their breaths mixed. Their bodies were too close.

What Junghwan knew for sure was that neither of them was resisting. If anything, Junghwan was the one in control, holding Dohoon down, and Dohoon was simply waiting beneath him, eyes dark, lips parted, like he was ready to be devoured.

Junghwan had never once, in all the years he had known Dohoon, imagined something like this happening between them. Dohoon was one of his closest friends. If Junghwan had to define it, he would say Dohoon was his best friend. Although on Dohoon’s side, that title was always shared. Everyone claimed to be Dohoon’s best friend. Dohoon had that kind of personality that made people gravitate toward him easily.

Still, Junghwan had never looked at him in that way. Not romantically. Not sexually. Not even in passing. The thought had simply never existed in his head.

So how did it come to this? Maybe he had thought of it before but buried it. Maybe… just maybe.

Junghwan blinked slowly as he looked down at Dohoon’s face. He noticed the way Dohoon’s tongue darted out unconsciously to wet his lips. It was a small movement, something Junghwan would never normally pay attention to, but now it felt magnified. Important. Dangerous.

Their eyes met.

Junghwan could hear his heart pounding loudly in his ears.

“Hyung… kiss me.”

The request was soft, almost shy, but it struck Junghwan like a spark landing on dry ground.

His body moved before his mind could even process what was happening and he leaned down and…

Junghwan fell off his bed with a loud thud.

His eyes flew open as his body hit the floor. Pain shot up his side, but it barely registered because his mind was still trapped in the remnants of the dream.

It was a dream.

Dohoon underneath him. Dohoon calling him. Dohoon asking to be kissed.

A dream. A stupid dream!

Junghwan stayed sprawled on the floor, staring blankly at the ceiling of his room. His breath was still uneven. His heart was still racing like he had actually been there.

“Fuck,” he muttered hoarsely.

He did not move. He did not sit up. He simply laid there and replayed everything in his head, every detail painfully vivid. This was not the first time Junghwan had experienced a wet dream. That was normal. That was something he could brush off easily.

But this was different.

Because the person in it was Dohoon, not some blurry stranger his mind had invented. Not some faceless figure. Not someone he had seen once and forgotten.

Kim Dohoon.

His friend.

His best friend.

Junghwan raised his arm and covered his eyes, as if that would somehow erase the images still burned into his mind. He was painfully aware of the uncomfortable hardness in his pants, and the realization only made him groan in frustration.

They had classes today.

Dohoon was a year below him, but that didn’t matter. Their friend group always ate lunch together. They hung out after school. They texted constantly.

Junghwan had no idea how he was supposed to face Dohoon today knowing he had just had a very vivid, very inappropriate dream about him.

He rolled onto his side and squeezed his eyes shut.

“Get it together,” he muttered to himself. “It was just a dream.”

But the problem was that it did not feel like just a dream.

It felt too real. Too detailed. Too… personal. And it felt like it awakened something in him. Something he had long buried.

Junghwan forced himself to get up eventually. His body felt heavy like he had not slept at all. He avoided looking down as he went to the bathroom to clean up. He refused to think about anything. He refused to replay the scene again.

But his mind betrayed him anyway.

Dohoon’s flushed face.

Dohoon’s voice.

“Hyung… kiss me.”

Junghwan splashed cold water on his face and stared at himself in the mirror.

“You’re losing it,” he said quietly.

He had known Dohoon for years. They had shared secrets. They had slept over at each other’s houses countless times. They had changed clothes in front of each other without thinking twice. They had joked, teased, laughed, fought, and made up more times than Junghwan could count.

Never once had Junghwan felt anything like what he felt in that dream. Though they once jokingly talked about being in a relationship with each other, but again, that was a joke.

So why now?

He shook his head and grabbed his towel.

“It doesn’t mean anything,” he told himself firmly. “You’re just stressed. Your brain’s messing with you.”

That had to be it.

There was no other explanation.

Yet as he got dressed for school, his movements felt stiff. Every thought circled back to the same person no matter how much he tried to push it away.

Dohoon.

His phone buzzed on his desk.

Junghwan froze.

He stared at the screen from across the room like it was something dangerous. He did not need to check to know who it was. Dohoon always texted him first in the morning.

Slowly, reluctantly, Junghwan walked over and picked it up.

Dohoon: You awake? Don’t be late today. I’m not saving you a seat if you are.

Junghwan swallowed.

Even that normal, casual message made his stomach twist.

He typed back carefully.

Junghwan: I’m up. I won’t be late.

Dohoon: Good. See you later, hyung~~

Junghwan stared at the words for a long time.

See you later.

He dropped his phone on his desk and ran both hands through his hair.

“How am I supposed to act normal?” he whispered.

Because he knew one thing for sure, the moment he saw Dohoon’s face, the dream was going to come rushing back in full detail. And he was terrified that it would show on his face.

That Dohoon would somehow know.

That he would look at Junghwan and realize exactly what he had been dreaming about.

Junghwan grabbed his bag and left his room, trying to shake off the lingering heat still crawling under his skin.

By the time Junghwan arrived at the university, the weight of the dream had dulled slightly at the edges. The morning air had been cool against his face during the walk from the bus stop, and the noise of students moving in every direction had forced his thoughts to scatter. He had convinced himself that if he just focused hard enough on his classes, his mind would settle back into something normal.

His first class and only morning class was math.

Normally, Junghwan liked math. It was the kind of subject that demanded full attention and offered no space for wandering thoughts. Numbers had rules. Equations had structure. There was comfort in the certainty of it. That morning, it felt like a lifeline. The professor wrote problem after problem on the board, and Junghwan followed along diligently, scribbling notes faster than usual, solving examples with more intensity than he probably needed to.

Every time his thoughts tried to drift toward the memory of warm skin, flushed cheeks, and a voice whispering “Hyung… kiss me,” he forced himself to look back at the board. He calculated. He erased. He recalculated. He filled pages in his notebook until his hand started to cramp.

For nearly two hours, he managed to forget.

By the time the class ended, his brain felt drained, like every single braincell had been squeezed dry. He packed his things slowly, relief washing over him because for a brief moment, he had not thought about Dohoon at all.

That relief lasted exactly until he stepped into the university cafeteria.

The noise hit him first. The clatter of trays. The overlapping chatter. The smell of food that should have made him hungry but instead made his stomach tighten. And then, before he could even prepare himself, he heard a familiar voice.

“Junghwan hyung! Here!”

His head turned automatically toward the sound. He spotted Jihoon waving both arms in the air like an idiot, Kyungmin was beside him grinning widely, Youngjae and Hanjin were already heading back with their trays, and then his gaze landed on Dohoon.

Junghwan stopped walking.

The image from his dream crashed into his mind so suddenly that it felt like he had physically walked into a wall. For a second, the cafeteria disappeared. All he could see was Dohoon underneath him, wrists pinned, lips parted, eyes dark and pleading.

His chest tightened.

He stood there, frozen, staring.

“Junghwan hyung! Come here quick!”

Kyungmin’s voice snapped him back to reality. Junghwan blinked rapidly and realized he had just been standing in the middle of the cafeteria like an idiot. He swallowed hard, feeling an invisible lump in his throat, and forced his legs to move.

Each step toward the table felt awkward, and heavy. Like he was walking into a situation he had no idea how to handle.

As he got closer, he tried scanning the table quickly for an empty seat. Somewhere not too close to Dohoon. Somewhere safe. Somewhere he would not have to accidentally brush knees or shoulders.

But before he could even decide, Dohoon casually lifted his bag from the seat beside him and placed it on his lap without even looking at Junghwan. The silent gesture made Junghwan’s heart drop.

There were only six seats at the table. Five were already occupied. The only one left was beside Dohoon.

He had no choice.

“Took you long enough,” someone said.

Junghwan turned and saw Youngjae placing his tray down on the table. Youngjae looked at him with a raised brow. “We’ve been asking Dohoon to get food with us already, but he said he’ll wait for you.”

Junghwan’s eyes flickered to Dohoon.

Dohoon laughed lightly and finally looked at him. “You should be thankful I waited for your slow ass.”

That smile.

That normal, easy smile.

Junghwan felt like he was overheating.

He forced out a small laugh that sounded awkward even to his own ears. “Let’s… let’s get food?”

“Yeah, you should. Dohoonie hyung has been telling us that he’s starving,” Hanjin said, waving his hand as if shooing them away. “Go! Both of you.”

Dohoon stood up first, stretching his arms briefly before turning to walk toward the food stalls. Junghwan followed behind him automatically, like he had done countless times before.

But this time felt different.

Junghwan’s eyes were stuck on Dohoon’s back. The way his shoulders moved when he walked. The way his shirt hung loosely on his frame. Details he had never once paid attention to before were now quite impossible to ignore.

They walked side by side in silence for a moment.

“You okay?” Dohoon asked casually without looking at him. “You’re unusually quiet today.”

Junghwan flinched slightly. “’m fine. Just tired.”

“Math class?” Dohoon guessed.

“Yeah.”

Dohoon hummed in understanding. “That class drains the life out of you. I don’t know how you like it so much.”

Junghwan nodded, grateful for the normal conversation. Grateful that Dohoon did not seem to notice anything strange.

They grabbed their food and headed back to the table. And surprisingly, lunch was not awkward.

Kyungmin was loudly ranting about how confusing his subjects were, waving his fork around as he talked. Youngjae kept interrupting him, telling him that if he needed help, he could ask anyone at the table, especially Jihoon who kept insisting he was good at everything. Jihoon started talking about a club he wanted to join, and Hanjin began sharing stories about a family trip they were planning for the next holiday.

The conversation flowed naturally. Loud, chaotic, and familiar.

Dohoon mostly minded his own business, scrolling through his phone between bites. Normally, that would’ve annoyed Junghwan. He’d always tell Dohoon to stop being on his phone during meals, but today, he was oddly grateful for it. It meant Dohoon would not pay attention to him too much.

It meant Junghwan could stare.

Because that was what he realized he had been doing.

Staring.

His eyes kept drifting toward Dohoon without permission. He noticed things he had never noticed before.

Dohoon’s hands.

He had always known they were small, but seeing them now beside his own tray made the difference seem more obvious. Dohoon’s fingers were cute and short compared to Junghwan’s. The way they wrapped around his spoon looked delicate.

They were the same height when standing, yet somehow, sitting beside him, Dohoon seemed smaller. Like he shrank a little without Junghwan realizing.

Junghwan’s gaze shifted to Dohoon’s wrists as he lifted his drink.

They were lithe. Thin. The skin there looked soft.

Junghwan’s breath caught for a second as an unwanted image from the dream resurfaced.

Those wrists pinned above his head.

Junghwan quickly looked away and focused on his food, his ears burning.

He hated how hyperaware he had become.

Every movement Dohoon made seemed louder. More noticeable. When Dohoon leaned back slightly in his chair, Junghwan noticed. When Dohoon pushed his hair back absentmindedly, Junghwan noticed. When Dohoon licked sauce off his thumb without thinking, Junghwan noticed that too, and it made his throat go dry.

He hated this.

He hated how his brain was connecting normal gestures to the dream he had tried so hard to forget.

No one else at the table seemed to notice anything. They were all too busy talking, laughing, arguing with each other. The noise around him should have been comforting, but Junghwan felt like he was trapped inside his own head.

“Junghwan hyung, you’re not eating,” Kyungmin pointed out suddenly.

Junghwan startled. “I am.”

“You’ve been holding that spoon for like five minutes,” Jihoon added with a grin.

Junghwan forced himself to take a bite. “Mind your own food.”

They laughed it off and the conversation continued.

Dohoon still had not said much. He was still scrolling on his phone, occasionally glancing up when someone addressed him. Each time his eyes lifted, Junghwan had to look away quickly, afraid of being caught staring.

He could not believe how different this felt compared to every other lunch they had shared.

Junghwan had always been comfortable around Dohoon. Now, sitting this close to him made his chest feel tight and his thoughts feel messy.

He told himself again that it was just because of the dream. Just a stupid horny dream. It’ll be a one time thing.

But the way his eyes kept returning to Dohoon said otherwise.

And the dream didn’t happen only once, much to Junghwan’s growing frustration.

He hoped, after that first dream, that it would be a strange, one time occurrence that his mind would forget as quickly as it had created. He had convinced himself that it was stress, exhaustion, or some random nonsense his brain had conjured up for no reason. But the nights that followed proved him terribly wrong.

Dohoon did not leave his dreams.

It was not every single night, but it happened far too often for Junghwan’s liking. Often enough that he began to dread going to sleep. Often enough that he found himself staying up later than usual, scrolling through his phone, watching pointless videos, doing anything to keep his eyes open for as long as possible.

Because the moment he slept, there was a chance Dohoon would be there waiting.

And in those dreams, Dohoon was never just his friend.

Sometimes, the roles were reversed.

Junghwan would find himself sitting back against a wall or lying on a bed, and Dohoon would be the one on his lap. Dohoon’s legs would be on either side of him, his weight pressing down in a way that made Junghwan’s chest feel tight. Dohoon would look at him with eyes that were nothing like the ones Junghwan saw every day in real life.

In those dreams, Dohoon’s gaze was heavy. Intent. Almost predatory.

Junghwan would feel small under it, like he was the one being studied, the one being cornered. Dohoon’s fingers would sometimes curl into the fabric of Junghwan’s shirt, pulling him closer, and Junghwan would wake up before anything more could happen, heart racing, breath uneven, body overheated.

Other times, which happened more often than Junghwan cared to admit, the dream would place Dohoon beneath him again.

Pinned.

Breathless.

His cheeks flushed red, sweat gathering along his temples and sliding slowly down the side of his face. His lips would look swollen, as if they had already been kissed too thoroughly, as if Junghwan had already done things he could not consciously remember.

The sight alone would make Junghwan’s throat go dry even inside the dream.

He would hover there, just like the first time, staring down at Dohoon as if he was something precious and dangerous at the same time. Dohoon’s eyes would look up at him, unfocused and hazy, and Junghwan would feel that same heat pooling low in his stomach.

Every detail would feel painfully vivid. The warmth of Dohoon’s skin. The way his chest rose and fell quickly. The quiet sounds that slipped past his lips whenever Junghwan leaned closer.

And every single time, Junghwan would wake up abruptly.

He would jolt awake in the darkness of his room, sheets tangled around his legs, his shirt sticking to his back with cold sweat. His heart would pound so loudly in his chest that for a few seconds he would not know where he was.

Then reality would sink in.

His room.

His bed.

And the uncomfortable, undeniable hardness in his pants.

Junghwan would squeeze his eyes shut and groan into his pillow, wishing he could knock himself back into sleep without dreaming. Wishing he could erase the images still flashing behind his eyelids.

He hated how real it all felt.

He hated that his body reacted so strongly every single time.

There was no blurry memory. No fading details. He could remember everything too clearly. The way Dohoon’s face looked. The way his voice sounded. The expressions that should not exist in Junghwan’s mind because he had never seen Dohoon like that in real life.

Sometimes, he would lie there for several minutes, staring at the ceiling in the dark, trying to calm his breathing. Trying to convince himself that it meant nothing. That it was just his brain being stupid.

But the repetition made it harder to ignore.

The fact that it kept happening made it feel less like a random dream and more like something his mind was trying to tell him.

And Junghwan did not want to hear it.

There were nights when he would sit up and run both hands through his hair, frustrated beyond words. He would mutter curses under his breath and kick his blanket away, too warm and too uncomfortable to fall back asleep immediately.

He began to notice how tired he felt during the day. How his patience thinned. How he sometimes caught himself staring at Dohoon for a second too long without meaning to.

Because the dreams were starting to bleed into his waking thoughts.

He could be sitting in class, and suddenly the image of Dohoon’s flushed face would appear in his head out of nowhere. He could be walking beside him, listening to him talk about something random, and his mind would briefly overlay the memory of those dream versions of Dohoon on top of the real one beside him.

It made him feel guilty.

Wrong.

Confused.

Dohoon was still the same as always. Loud. Annoying. Cheerful. Completely unaware of the chaos Junghwan’s mind had created around him.

Meanwhile, Junghwan was struggling to look at him without remembering how he looked in his dreams.

There were nights when he would try to force himself to think of anything else before sleeping. He would think about math problems. About random memories from childhood. About anything that did not involve Dohoon.

It never worked.

Because somehow, no matter what he did, Dohoon would appear again.

And every time Junghwan woke up in cold sweats, breathing hard, painfully aware of his own body, he felt more and more frustrated with himself for not being able to stop it. Because as time passed, he felt more eager to know how his dream ended, and the probability of it happening in real life.

—

“Hyung… you look like you haven’t slept in years. Look at those eyebags…”

Junghwan did not even realize Dohoon was already standing right in front of him until he suddenly found Dohoon’s face far too close to his own. Their noses were only inches apart. Junghwan could see every small detail of Dohoon’s expression. The curve of his lips. The slight shine on his skin from the afternoon heat. The way his bangs fell loosely over his forehead.

This was not new behavior from Dohoon.

Dohoon had always been like this with everyone. He had no concept of personal space. He would lean in close to people’s faces just to stare at them for no reason. Sometimes he would stay there quietly, eyes studying the other person as if he was trying to memorize their features. Other times, he would randomly press his cheek against someone else’s cheek if he found them cute, which happened most often to poor Kyungmin who had long since given up protesting.

So this, this closeness, should not have been something that made Junghwan react strongly.

But it did.

Before Junghwan could stop himself, his hand moved forward and pushed lightly against Dohoon’s shoulder, creating distance between them. The movement was instinctive. Unconscious. And the moment it happened, Junghwan realized what he had done.

Both of them froze for a second.

Dohoon blinked in surprise, his eyebrows knitting together briefly. Then, just as quickly, he laughed it off.

Junghwan felt his ears heat up in embarrassment.

“Ah. Sorry for surprising you like that, hyung,” Dohoon said, chuckling as if nothing strange had happened. “But really though, I think you need to sleep.”

Junghwan blinked at him, trying to steady himself. He forced his eyes away from Dohoon’s face and looked around, realizing they were still outside, walking along the sidewalk with the rest of their friends. The afternoon sun was lower now, casting long shadows across the pavement. He could hear the distant sound of traffic and the chatter of their group ahead.

For a moment, he had completely forgotten where they were.

Junghwan caught the way some of their friends glanced at him. Hanjin looked confused. Kyungmin looked mildly concerned. Jihoon, however, had a different expression on his face. It was not exactly concern, it was something closer to teasing. Almost knowing.

That made Junghwan even more uncomfortable.

“I’m fine,” Junghwan said quickly, clearing his throat. “I’ve just been pulling all-nighters for my classes.”

Dohoon tilted his head slightly, studying him again. “You always say that, but you never actually look this dead.”

Junghwan let out an awkward laugh. “Maybe I’m finally dying from math.”

Dohoon snorted. “Serves you right for gaslighting us into liking it.”

They continued walking. Junghwan tried to keep his eyes forward, focusing on the backs of Jihoon and Youngjae who were arguing loudly about something pointless. From the bits and pieces he remembered earlier, they had been talking about renting a karaoke room. That must be where they were heading now.

His mind, however, was still stuck on how close Dohoon’s face had been.

Close enough that Junghwan could smell his shampoo. Close enough that he could notice the faint pink tint of his lips. Close enough that for a split second, his brain had tried to overlay the image from his dreams onto the real person standing in front of him.

That was why he had pushed him away.

Because for a brief, terrifying moment, Junghwan had not been sure if he was looking at dream Dohoon or real Dohoon.

He shoved his hands into his pockets and kept walking, trying to calm the restless feeling crawling under his skin.

Dohoon walked beside him casually, completely unaware of the chaos happening inside Junghwan’s head.

“You should sleep early tonight,” Dohoon continued, his tone lighter now. “You’re starting to look scary.”

“Thanks,” Junghwan muttered.

“I mean it,” Dohoon said, nudging his arm playfully. “You look like you’re about to pass out any second.”

Junghwan almost flinched at the contact but managed to hold himself still. He nodded stiffly. “I will.”

He knew he probably would not.

Because sleeping meant dreaming.

And dreaming meant Dohoon.

They reached the building and Jihoon turned around excitedly. “Hurry up! I already booked the room!”

Kyungmin cheered loudly and rushed ahead. The rest followed with similar enthusiasm.

Junghwan slowed down slightly without meaning to. He watched as Dohoon walked a few steps ahead of him now, talking animatedly with Hanjin about what songs they were going to sing. Junghwan swallowed hard and forced himself to look away.

He hated that he could not look at his own friend normally anymore. He hated how every small detail now reminded him of things he should not be thinking about. But on the flipside, he learned more about Dohoon, things that he didn’t notice before that made the younger endearing.

He exhaled slowly and followed them inside, telling himself over and over that he just needed to act normal, because the only one who knew about the problem was him.

“You’ve looked like you’re stressed. What’s up with you, Junghwanie hyung?”

Junghwan heard Jihoon’s voice beside him just as Jihoon casually placed the microphone into Dohoon’s hand and nudged Youngjae forward to join him. The two of them were easily the best singers in the group, and whenever they went to karaoke, it was almost a rule that they had to do at least one duet. The music in the room shifted into an upbeat song, loud and cheerful, and Dohoon laughed as he took the microphone without protest.

Junghwan should have seen this coming.

He should have expected Jihoon to eventually corner him and ask what was wrong. Jihoon was not the type to ignore changes in people, especially not when it involved his own friends. He was even less likely to hold back if there was an opportunity to tease one of his hyungs. Most of the time, Dohoon was the target of Jihoon’s jokes, but today, Jihoon’s attention had clearly shifted.

Junghwan shrugged as he leaned back into the couch, nursing a can of beer in his hand. The cold metal pressed against his palm as he watched Hanjin and Kyungmin jump around in front of the screen, shaking maracas wildly and dancing without rhythm. The flashing lights in the karaoke room painted everyone in different colors, and the music was loud enough that they had to lean closer to hear each other.

“Classes,” Junghwan answered shortly.

His eyes stayed on the others in front, watching Dohoon and Youngjae sing effortlessly in sync, their voices blending together as if they had practiced beforehand.

Jihoon did not respond immediately.

That silence alone made Junghwan tense up. He knew Jihoon well enough to understand that the younger was thinking. Preparing. Figuring out how to word whatever question he wanted to ask in a way that would hit where it hurt most.

Junghwan took a slow sip of his beer and braced himself.

“Classes…” Jihoon repeated, his tone dragging slightly. “I don’t remember you sharing a class with Dohoonie hyung though?”

Jihoon bumped his can lightly against Junghwan’s before laughing under his breath. “Even Youngjae hyung noticed. What’s up with you, hyung? More like… what’s your deal with Dohoonie hyung? Did he do something?”

Junghwan pressed his lips into a thin line. His fingers tightened slightly around the can.

It was not like Dohoon had done anything wrong. In fact, Dohoon had done absolutely nothing. He had been the same as always. Loud. Casual. Comfortable.

It was Junghwan’s own mind that had been turning everything into a problem.

Junghwan shook his head slowly and took another sip. “No. He didn’t do anything.”

Jihoon grinned immediately. “So you’re not denying that it’s because of Dohoonie hyung, huh?”

He turned his attention back toward the front where the others were still singing and cheering. On the screen, colorful lyrics bounced along to the rhythm of the song. Dohoon suddenly lifted his can of beer toward them in a playful gesture, silently asking for a cheers even while still holding the microphone.

Junghwan raised his own can in response. Jihoon did the same.

“What’s there to deny anyway?” Junghwan sighed. “If I did, you’d probably call bullshit, so no need.”

Jihoon laughed again and then turned his body slightly so he could look at Junghwan more directly. “So did you finally realize you have this awful crush on Dohoon hyung?”

The way Jihoon said it, beaming with mischief, made it sound like the most obvious thing in the world.

Junghwan blinked.

A crush?

Did he?

He didn’t think so. He had never thought about Dohoon that way before all of this started happening. He had never looked at Dohoon and felt anything close to what people described as a crush. There had been no nervousness. No longing. He was attracted, yes, but not that intense.

Dohoon was just… Dohoon.

Someone important. Someone familiar. Someone special in a way Junghwan had never really tried to define.

Junghwan shook his head. “No.”

Jihoon raised an eyebrow slowly. “If not, then what? You look at Dohoon hyung nowadays like you’re ready to devour him.”

Junghwan’s eyes widened in shock as he turned to stare at Jihoon.

He did not remember looking at Dohoon like that. He had been trying so hard to act normal, to keep his thoughts to himself, to avoid being obvious. Has it been that noticeable? Had he really been staring at Dohoon in a way that looked predatory?

The thought made his stomach twist uncomfortably.

“Have you talked to Dohoon hyung about it?” Jihoon continued. “I’m pretty sure he noticed too. He’s just not confronting you… for now.”

Junghwan shook his head quickly.

He did not even know how he would begin to talk to Dohoon about something like this. What would he even say?

Hey, I keep having inappropriate dreams about you and now I can’t look at you properly? Do you want to—

Junghwan shook his head. There was no version of that conversation that would end well.

“It’s not something a talk with him could fix,” Junghwan said quietly, frowning into his drink. “It’s a me problem, not Dohoon’s.”

Jihoon tilted his head. “That’s… how can it be your problem alone if it involves Dohoonie hyung? Because you won’t act like this if nothing happened between you two.”

Junghwan paused when Jihoon asked that question.

He genuinely did not know how to respond without saying something that would sound completely insane out loud. There was no normal way to explain that he had been having explicit dreams about their friend for weeks now. There was no way to admit that in those dreams, he was always hovering over Dohoon, or holding him down, or touching him in ways Junghwan had never once imagined while awake.

How could he tell Jihoon that he kept dreaming about devouring Dohoon and waking up drenched in sweat because of it?

How could he explain that because of those dreams, he had started noticing Dohoon more than he ever had before? Noticing small things that used to mean nothing. Noticing how easy it would be to wrap his arms around Dohoon’s body. Noticing how small that waist actually was whenever they walked side by side.

Just thinking about that made Junghwan’s face grow hot.

“Ah. Sucks that you don’t have a crush on Dohoon hyung though. Honestly thought you’d end up together before you graduate.”

Jihoon chuckled as if he was talking about something completely casual. He reached over and gave Junghwan’s shoulder a friendly pat before standing up from the couch.

“You’ve always treated him differently than us. So I guess you’re just that guy, huh?”

With that, Jihoon walked off to join the others, grabbing the microphone from Dohoon’s hand as another upbeat song started playing. Junghwan stayed seated, watching from where he was as Jihoon and Dohoon immediately started fighting over who would sing first while the others laughed loudly at them.

Junghwan stared at the two of them for a long time.

He didn’t realize he had been treating Dohoon differently.

He knew that he rarely ever said no to Dohoon. But that was only because Dohoon rarely asked for anything in the first place. And when he did, Junghwan would go out of his way to make sure those small requests were fulfilled. It had always felt natural to him. Something he did without thinking. Because seeing Dohoon smiling makes his insides feel lighter.

But now, hearing Jihoon say it out loud, he started to wonder if it had looked like something else from the outside.

Like special treatment.

Something he had never consciously thought about before.

That night, when Junghwan got home, he did not bother turning on the lights in his room. He sat down on the edge of his bed and opened the bottle of whiskey he had bought on the way back. He did not even pour it into a glass. He drank straight from the bottle, hoping the burn would distract him, hoping the alcohol would knock him out fast enough that his mind would not have time to wander.

He kept drinking until his thoughts felt heavy and slow. Until his eyelids started to droop on their own. Until he fell back onto his bed without even changing his clothes.

The whiskey did knock him out.

But it did not stop the dreams.

This time, the dream was different.

Junghwan dreamed that he was lying flat on a bed. He could feel the softness of the sheets under his back. He could feel the warmth of another body above him before he even opened his eyes.

Then he felt hands.

Hands pressing lightly against his bare abdomen.

Junghwan’s eyes lifted in the dream and he saw Dohoon sitting on top of his hips. Straddling him. Dohoon’s weight pressed down comfortably as if he belonged there. Junghwan’s own hand was already resting on Dohoon’s bare waist without him remembering putting it there.

Dohoon was smiling down at him.

His eyes were half lidded. His cheeks were flushed a deep red. His hair stuck slightly to his forehead as if he had been sweating. Both of Dohoon’s hands stayed on Junghwan’s abdomen, almost as if helping himself settle more comfortably on top of him.

“Hyung…” the dream Dohoon whispered.

The sound of that voice made Junghwan’s chest tighten. He could feel Dohoon shifting his weight slowly, moving in a way that made Junghwan’s breath hitch. The motion sent a wave of heat through his body that felt too real.

Junghwan let out a low groan without meaning to. His fingers tightened instinctively around Dohoon’s waist as he watched him move.

He watched the way Dohoon’s hips rolled slowly. The way his expression changed with each movement. Junghwan felt his mind grow hazy, thoughts slipping away as he focused only on the sight in front of him.

“Fuck. You look so pretty, Dohoon-ah,” Junghwan whispered in the dream, his voice rough and low.

Dohoon grinned at him, and the expression made something inside Junghwan feel like it was coming undone.

“Hyung… Junghwan hyung…” Dohoon called repeatedly, his eyes never leaving Junghwan’s face.

“Yes?” Junghwan asked, trying to hold onto whatever sense he had left while staring at him. He noticed how Dohoon’s skin looked flushed and slightly shiny with sweat. The thought crossed his mind that he would mark that skin later.

Dohoon leaned down until their bare chests touched. Their skin was warm and slick, but neither of them seemed to care. Junghwan could only stare at him, completely lost in the sight.

“Are you finally going to do me tonight?” Dohoon asked.

Junghwan could hear his own heartbeat ringing loudly in his ears. It felt as if the sound filled the entire space around him. His chest rose and fell too quickly, and he could feel his pulse thudding so hard that he honestly thought his heart might leap out of his ribcage. At the same time, he could feel the warmth of Dohoon’s breath as the younger leaned closer in the dream, close enough that the air between them felt thin.

“Hyung…” Dohoon called softly, trying to get his attention.

But Junghwan was not really listening to the words. He was too focused on the overwhelming sensation of their skin touching. On how real the warmth felt. On how the person above him looked too perfect, too immaculate, for Junghwan to think about anything else. His mind had narrowed down to only that image.

“Hyung.”

The voice sounded clearer this time.

“Hyung!”

Junghwan nearly jumped out of his skin when he felt a hand grab his arm.

His eyes flew open as he jolted upright in bed, breathing hard. The sudden movement made the blanket fall off his chest. He blinked rapidly, trying to process what was happening.

And then he came face to face with Dohoon.

For a split second, Junghwan genuinely could not tell if he was still dreaming or not.

He stared at Dohoon with wide eyes. Sweat dripped slowly down his forehead and into his eyebrows as he tried to catch his breath. His heart was still racing as if he had just been running.

“Dohoon?” Junghwan blinked, his voice hoarse as he pushed himself into a sitting position. He didn't even register that he was shirtless.

“Yeah?” Dohoon blinked back at him, tilting his head slightly in confusion.

Junghwan raised both of his hands instinctively, as if trying to reach out and confirm that the person in front of him was real. Dohoon misunderstood the gesture as an invitation and stepped closer to the bed, still looking puzzled by his hyung’s expression.

Junghwan looked up at him from where he sat, realizing that Dohoon was standing tall in front of him. He could see the way the morning light from the window hit Dohoon’s face. He could see the familiar strands of hair falling over his eyes. It all felt too vivid.

Junghwan grabbed Dohoon’s wrist gently and tugged him down until Dohoon sat on the edge of the bed.

“You’re… you’re real, right?” Junghwan asked, blinking again.

Dohoon nodded slowly. “As real as one can be,” he said with a small chuckle. “I came here because Jihoonie asked me to check on you. He said you’ve been acting off.”

Junghwan cursed Jihoon internally.

Of course Jihoon would do something like this, especially after their conversation at the karaoke. He should have known Jihoon would not just let the matter go.

“You’ve been calling me while sleeping though,” Dohoon continued, looking amused now. “What was I even doing in your dream?”

He laughed lightly, clearly entertained by the idea that he had appeared in Junghwan’s sleep.

Junghwan could only stare at him. His cheeks were still flushed from the dream, and he silently prayed that Dohoon would not notice the obvious tent forming beneath the blanket over his lap. That would be impossible to explain without the entire situation becoming painfully awkward.

Junghwan shook his head quickly. “I don’t actually remember.”

It was a lie.

Junghwan remembered everything in terrifying detail. Every image. Every word. Every feeling. It was all still fresh in his mind.

“That sucks,” Dohoon said, still smiling. “It looked like I put you through a lot of work in your dream. Do you want me to turn the air conditioner on?”

Junghwan nodded silently, hoping that Dohoon would get up and leave soon so he could breathe properly again. So he could call Jihoon and give him a piece of his mind for sending Dohoon here at the worst possible time.

Although, instead of leaving after turning the air conditioner on, Dohoon stayed.

He stayed the entire day much to Junghwan’s luck… or the lack thereof.

Junghwan only found out why when Dohoon casually mentioned, while looking through Junghwan’s snack cabinet, that Junghwan’s mom had told him they were going to be out of town for the weekend to visit their grandmother. Apparently, she had even told Dohoon that he could stay over if he wanted, since he was practically family anyway.

Junghwan had to physically stop himself from reacting.

He wanted to scream.

It would be incredibly strange if he suddenly told Dohoon to go home. Dohoon had been treating Junghwan’s house like his own for years. He would show up unannounced, take naps on the couch, raid the fridge, and leave whenever he wanted. There was no world where Junghwan could kick him out without it looking suspicious. And Junghwan definitely did not want to deal with a sulking Dohoon asking him what he did wrong.

So they ended up spending the entire day in Junghwan’s living room, surrounded by takeout boxes and empty drink cans, playing video games like they always did whenever they had nothing better to do.

But nothing about it felt normal to Junghwan.

In all honesty, Junghwan wished he could be sedated. He wished he could shut his brain off for a few hours so he would stop noticing everything.

Whenever Dohoon spoke, Junghwan would find his eyes drifting toward him without permission. Toward Dohoon’s face. Toward his lips. He became painfully aware of how Dohoon held the game controller with his small hands. Things that looked small when Junghwan held them somehow looked bigger in Dohoon’s hands.

He noticed the sounds Dohoon made whenever he lost a round. The exaggerated groans. The childish complaints. The way his shoulders slumped in fake despair.

Junghwan noticed everything.

He noticed the small pout that formed on Dohoon’s lips when he tried ordering something online and realized it was sold out. He noticed the way Dohoon leaned closer when he wanted Junghwan to taste his food, holding the bite carefully between his chopsticks right in front of Junghwan’s mouth. He noticed how Dohoon’s eyes would sparkle while waiting for Junghwan’s reaction, and how he would immediately frown and whine if Junghwan’s response was not enthusiastic enough.

All the little things Junghwan had never paid attention to before were now impossible to ignore.

And every single observation sent heat crawling up the back of his neck and into the tips of his ears.

“Hyung.”

Dohoon’s voice pulled him out of his thoughts while they were preparing dinner. They had decided to grill some meat they found in the fridge since both of them had been craving it.

“Hm?” Junghwan replied absentmindedly, eyes focused on the grill as he tried very hard not to look at Dohoon too much.

“You’ve been staring at me the whole day. What’s wrong?”

Junghwan had not expected that.

The question caught him so off guard that his hand slipped, and his fingers brushed against the hot grill.

He yelped instantly, jerking his hand back. The sharp sting made him shake his hand in the air, but before he could even process it, Dohoon had already grabbed him by the wrist and dragged him toward the sink.

“Hold it under the water,” Dohoon said firmly, turning on the faucet.

Junghwan obeyed without thinking, watching the cold water run over his finger. Dohoon took the tongs from his hand and moved back in front of the grill, replacing him without hesitation.

“Just stay there. I’ll do this. Find an ointment after, hyung,” Dohoon said, his brows drawn together in concern.

“It’s not that bad,” Junghwan replied, turning off the faucet and inspecting his finger. It did not look serious. Barely noticeable to the eye, though he could still feel the tingling sensation from the burn.

“It’s still a burn, hyung. You have to take care of it. Now go,” Dohoon insisted, shooing him out of the kitchen with a flick of his hand.

Junghwan reluctantly went to the bathroom, not only to find the first aid kit but also to calm himself down. He stared at his reflection in the mirror as he applied ointment to his finger. He looked stressed and flustered. His hair was messy and his face still felt warm.

Should he tell Dohoon about the dreams?

The thought alone made his stomach twist.

What if Dohoon got weirded out? What if it changed everything between them? Junghwan could not bear the thought of losing someone like Dohoon over something like this. Dohoon was not just a friend. He was the friend Junghwan cared about the most.

Junghwan sighed and splashed water onto his face.

As the cold droplets ran down his skin, he found himself thinking about the things he had been noticing all day. He had always thought Dohoon was childish. Someone who did whatever he wanted, sulked when things did not go his way, and whined loudly whenever he felt like it.

But for some reason, Junghwan found all of that cute.

He also remembered how Dohoon took care of everyone in their group in small, subtle ways. Making sure no one felt left out. Making sure everyone ate. Checking up on people quietly when they looked tired.

Dohoon was kinder and sweeter than he let people see.

Junghwan splashed more water onto his face to stop himself from thinking further.

He had to go back. Dohoon might be getting impatient.

When Junghwan returned to the living room, Dohoon had already finished cooking. The plates were set on the table. The food was neatly arranged. Their drinks were ready.

Dohoon looked up from his phone and frowned slightly.

“I thought you got stuck in the bathroom or something,” Dohoon said as he locked his phone and placed it on the table. “I was about to message your mom to ask if there’s a spare key for your bathroom somewhere. I didn’t know if you fainted there because of the burn or something.”

Junghwan scratched his eyebrow awkwardly and muttered an apology for taking too long before slipping into the seat right across from Dohoon.

Throughout dinner, Dohoon talked nonstop.

He jumped from one topic to another without any clear connection. He talked about random YouTube shorts he watched earlier that day. He talked about a café he found on Instagram that he wanted them to visit soon. He talked about a new game that was about to be released and how he already watched three trailers for it.

Junghwan barely registered any of it.

He nodded when it felt appropriate. He hummed in response when silence would have been suspicious. But his mind was not there. His thoughts kept circling back to the same things over and over again.

Dohoon did not mention what happened earlier in the kitchen. He did not ask again why Junghwan had been staring at him. But Junghwan knew Dohoon well enough to know this was not over. Dohoon was the type to let things settle first before returning to a question with even more persistence.

So Junghwan ate quietly, bracing himself for what he knew was coming.

When they finished eating, Dohoon did not even let Junghwan stand up. He pressed a hand to Junghwan’s shoulder and told him to sit still on the couch because of his burned finger. Dohoon insisted he would do the dishes himself.

Junghwan did not argue.

He sat there, elbows resting on his knees, hands clasped together, watching Dohoon move around the kitchen.

And he started sorting through his thoughts.

He thought about what Jihoon said. About how he treated Dohoon differently from everyone else. He replayed small moments in his head that he never thought twice about before. He thought about how easily he gave in to Dohoon’s requests. How he never once declined anything if it was a request from Dohoon. How he always made sure Dohoon was comfortable, fed, and happy without even realizing he was doing it.

He thought about the things he noticed today. The lips. The hands. The expressions. The way his chest tightened every time Dohoon got close.

And then he thought about the dreams.

Junghwan had actually looked it up before. He had gone through threads on Reddit late at night, searching if anyone else had experienced something similar. The answers were all over the place. Some said it was the subconscious trying to tell him something. Some said dreams like that were symbolic. Some even said that maybe the person in the dream was trying to manifest him.

That part made Junghwan raise an eyebrow at the time.

Dohoon never showed anything that suggested he liked Junghwan that way.

Or maybe Junghwan just never noticed.

Junghwan was so deep in his thoughts that he did not notice the sound of the dishes stopping. He did not notice Dohoon opening the freezer. He did not notice Dohoon walking toward him.

He only jolted when a spoonful of ice cream was suddenly pressed against his lips.

Junghwan jumped back in surprise, and Dohoon burst out laughing.

“I’ve been making noise here left and right, but you’re so deep in your thoughts you didn’t even notice?” Dohoon said as he dropped down beside Junghwan on the couch. “What have you been thinking about, hyung?”

You.

The word almost slipped out of Junghwan’s mouth. He bit the inside of his cheek hard to stop it.

“It’s nothing,” he said instead.

“Knew you’d say that.” Dohoon scooped another spoonful of chocolate ice cream into his mouth.

Junghwan watched him.

He watched every small movement. The way Dohoon’s lips wrapped around the spoon. The way his tongue briefly appeared when he pulled the spoon out. The way his cheeks puffed slightly as he chewed the cold dessert.

Junghwan swallowed hard.

“You’ve really been staring quite a lot, hyung.”

Junghwan blinked, and instinctively leaned back when Dohoon shifted closer.

“Are you perhaps thinking about me?”

Junghwan did not answer. He only stared back, feeling like his chest was being squeezed from the inside. Dohoon seemed unbothered by the silence as he leaned back again and continued eating his ice cream, completely unaware of the storm brewing inside Junghwan.

“Junghwan hyung,” Dohoon called again, this time staring into the bowl in his hands. “You’re acting like you want me. That’s quite dangerous, hyung.” He chuckled softly.

Junghwan felt his heart slam violently against his ribs.

He felt nauseous. Not because he was disgusted. But because Jihoon said the exact same thing the night before. And Junghwan had already been wrestling with that possibility in his head.

That he might actually like Dohoon.

But wasn’t it awful that it only started because of a dream like that?

So Junghwan stayed quiet.

He neither agreed nor denied it. Silence felt like the safest option.

Dohoon turned his head to look at him because of the lack of response. Junghwan suddenly had the urge to run. To open the window and jump out just to escape this situation. Because he could not read Dohoon’s expression. He had no idea what Dohoon was thinking.

So Junghwan waited.

He waited as Dohoon’s eyes carefully studied him.

“You kept staring at me when you thought no one was noticing. You were chanting my name in your sleep,” Dohoon said slowly. He placed the empty bowl on the table before looking back at Junghwan. “You know it’s easier if you just ask me out, and we date for real, right? You can do all of that and more.”

Junghwan choked on nothing but air.

Dohoon had always been like this. Bold. Straightforward. He said what he wanted without hesitation. Junghwan was the complete opposite. He was naturally quiet and closed off. He had never been in a situation like this before, and he had no idea how to react.

“Or am I reading everything incorrectly?” Dohoon tilted his head. “But no. You’ve been watching my every move like a predator watching his prey. Or maybe you just find me amusing nowadays? If that’s the case then my bad.” He raised both hands in mock surrender with a laugh.

Junghwan’s thoughts were in chaos.

“So what is it, hyung? Are you finally answering my daily manifestations?” Dohoon grinned.

Junghwan’s brows furrowed in confusion. “Wh—what do you mean by your daily manifestations?”

Dohoon stared at him with lips pressed thin, looking almost offended.

“What do you mean you don’t know?” Dohoon asked, clearly surprised.

“What? What should I know? I don’t…” Junghwan was cut off by Dohoon’s groan.

Dohoon ran his fingers through his hair in frustration.

“Damn. So all these years that I’ve been boldly flirting with you only, and blindly taking your side, you thought it was nothing? Oh my gosh,” Dohoon groaned. “If me saving you a seat every time in the cafeteria wasn’t obvious enough, if me going to your place every time you were sick just to look after you, and me literally fighting the others for you wasn’t a clear sign that I like you, like a lot more than you could ever think of, then sue me.”

Junghwan’s eyes widened.

He started replaying memories. Dohoon defending him from teasing. Dohoon staying up all night to take care of him when he was sick while his family was away. Dohoon always choosing to sit beside him. Dohoon always being on his side no matter what.

“What?” Junghwan whispered, genuinely stunned.

Dohoon stared at him for a long moment. The disbelief in his eyes slowly turned into something quieter. Something like resignation.

“Ah. Basing on your reaction, it never really occurred to you, huh?”

Junghwan immediately shook his head.

And the moment Dohoon broke eye contact, Junghwan felt his heart drop heavily in his chest.

He couldn’t lie. It never really crossed his mind.

Dohoon nodded slowly before standing up. He picked up the bowl from the table and walked to the sink to wash it.

Junghwan just watched him.

He watched the way Dohoon’s shoulders slumped slightly. The way he leaned forward over the sink. The way his movements became quieter and slower compared to earlier.

And Junghwan felt a painful pang in his chest.

Once Dohoon finished rinsing the bowl and setting it aside to dry, Junghwan straightened on the couch without realizing he was doing it. His back went rigid. His hands rested on his knees as if he was bracing himself for another round of conversation. He expected Dohoon to return and sit beside him again. He expected questions. He expected teasing. He expected anything that would force them to finally talk.

But Dohoon did not come back.

Instead, Dohoon leaned against the table, pulled out his phone, and began typing. His face was unreadable. The casualness of it made Junghwan uneasy in a way he couldn’t explain. He waited. He kept waiting for Dohoon to turn around and walk back to the couch.

But Dohoon didn’t. Instead, he looked around the room, walked toward the chair where he left his wallet earlier and slipped it into his back pocket. The movement was so natural, so quiet, that Junghwan did not understand what was happening until Dohoon bent down to wear his shoes.

A cold panic rushed through Junghwan’s chest.

“Where are you going?” Junghwan asked, his voice coming out more rushed than he intended.

“I’m going home, hyung,” Dohoon replied, not even looking at him.

Junghwan immediately stood up from the couch. His legs moved before his mind could catch up. He walked toward the doorway where Dohoon was already tying his laces.

“But it’s late,” Junghwan said, frowning.

“Exactly! It’s late. I need to go home,” Dohoon answered, still focused on his shoes.

Junghwan’s brows knitted together. “It’s dangerous outside.”

That made Dohoon finally look at him. He lifted his phone and showed the screen.

“I already booked a cab,” he said plainly as he stood up.

Junghwan’s thoughts were spiraling, because Dohoon always stayed over. He even had his own pajamas inside Junghwan’s cabinet. He treated this house like his own second home. Seeing him prepare to leave like this felt wrong in a way Junghwan could not put into words.

“But you always stay over,” Junghwan said, his voice softer now but still strained. “Isn’t it easier if you just stay?”

Dohoon looked at him with disbelief, like Junghwan had just said something absurd.

“I’ll come back another time. I’m not about to stay at your place when you just rejected me. That’s cruel for me at least, hyung,” Dohoon said with a small laugh. “I’ll come back tomorrow if you’re lonely. I just need the rest of the night to cope.”

Junghwan’s heart dropped.

“But.. But I didn’t reject you,” he blurted out.

Dohoon chuckled lightly. “Yeah, I know. But learning that you never noticed anything I did, that you were completely unaware of everything, that tells me enough. That’s the same as rejection, hyung. You were never interested.”

Junghwan felt a tightening in his chest. Something twisted painfully inside him.

“Cancel it,” he said suddenly. “Cancel the cab. Stay here. We’ll talk.”

Dohoon frowned. “The driver’s already on the way.”

“Just cancel it,” Junghwan insisted.

“I don’t like penalties,” Dohoon replied with a small laugh.

Junghwan groaned in frustration and snatched the phone from Dohoon’s hand. Dohoon tried to grab it back, but Junghwan was stronger. He quickly pressed cancel ride, ignoring Dohoon’s protests.

“What’s wrong with you?!” Dohoon whined. “If I get blacklisted—”

“I’ll get my driver’s license and drive you myself everyday if you want,” Junghwan said without thinking.

“I’m not rich enough to buy a car or hire a personal driver,” Dohoon muttered as he stumbled back and ended up sitting on the couch with his arms crossed.

“My parents said my graduation gift is a car. Don’t worry about it,” Junghwan replied as he sat beside him.

Dohoon stared at him. “Congratulations then! But how does that involve me?!”

Junghwan watched quietly as Dohoon bent down to untie his shoelaces. He watched the way his fingers worked through the knots. He waited until Dohoon removed his shoes before speaking again.

During those few minutes earlier, when Dohoon looked defeated while washing the bowl and then tried to leave, Junghwan had already made a decision.

He realized something that frightened him.

He didn’t like seeing Dohoon sad. He didn’t like seeing him disappointed. He thought it was guilt at first, but eventually realized that it was something deeper. Something he had probably felt for a long time, but it was too normal for him to feel towards Dohoon that he didn’t think much of it.

He had always wanted to be the person Dohoon could come to. He had always wanted to be someone Dohoon depended on. That was why he never said no. That was why he always gave in. That was why he always made sure Dohoon was comfortable. That was why he was pissed when Dohoon decided to talk to Youngjae instead of Junghwan about his problems before.

Junghwan had always wanted Dohoon in more ways than he admitted to himself. And that Junghwan's possessiveness was not only triggered by his personal stuff, but also by a person. By Dohoon. He had always wanted Dohoon for himself that's why he had been trying to unconsciously appeal to him.

And Junghwan knew that the only way forward was to be honest.

“I’ve been dreaming about you,” Junghwan said.

Dohoon looked at him, brows furrowed.

“It’s been almost a month,” Junghwan continued. “Almost every night.”

“Is that why you’ve been staring? Why you’ve been so jumpy?” Dohoon asked.

Junghwan nodded.

Dohoon leaned back into the couch and ran his fingers through his hair. “What kind of dream was that even to make you act like this?”

“Things,” Junghwan swallowed. “I’m sorry. I don’t know how it started or why. The dreams were inappr—”

“So you’re having wet dreams about me?” Dohoon asked, eyes searching his.

Junghwan nodded slowly.

“I tried stopping it,” Junghwan said quickly. “I tried drinking. I tried exhausting myself. But every time I close my eyes, you’re there. And then I started thinking about it. I started noticing things about you. I started asking myself questions.”

“What questions?” Dohoon asked quietly.

Junghwan did not break eye contact. “What if I hold your hand? What if I kiss you? What if we—”

He was cut off when Dohoon suddenly lunged forward and covered Junghwan’s mouth with his palm.

“Hyung,” Dohoon said, flustered, cheeks red. “As much as I like you, I don’t want to hear the rest right now. That’s dangerous.”

Junghwan chuckled softly. He gently held both of Dohoon’s wrists and pulled his hand away from his mouth. He noticed how easily he could hold both wrists in one hand, and he immediately forced his mind to stay focused.

“I feel guilty that it took dreams like that for me to realize something,” Junghwan said. He guided Dohoon’s palm to his own cheek and pressed into it. He felt Dohoon’s fingers twitch at the contact. “But I swear that’s not why I started liking you.”

“You… like me?” Dohoon asked quietly.

Junghwan smiled. He had never seen Dohoon look this unsure before.

“I’m not completely sure of how much,” Junghwan admitted. “But I know I like you. Help me figure it out?”

Dohoon stared at him. “I’ve been trying, hyung, but you never—”

“I want to kiss you,” Junghwan said softly. “Would that be okay?”

Junghwan saw Dohoon’s breath hitch. He saw the surprise. The nervousness. The warmth spreading across Dohoon’s face, and thought yeah, he wanted to be the only reason behind that.

After a few seconds, Dohoon did not pull his hand away. Instead, Junghwan felt Dohoon’s thumb slowly brushing against his cheek before he gave a small nod.

Junghwan did not move immediately after Dohoon nodded.

He simply stayed there for a moment, holding Dohoon’s hand against his cheek, letting the reality of the situation settle into his chest. His heart was beating so loudly that he was sure Dohoon could hear it. He could feel the warmth of Dohoon’s palm, the slight tremble in his fingers, and the softness of his skin. This was nothing like the dreams. There was no heat rushing recklessly through him. There was no urgency. There was no haze clouding his mind.

There was only awareness.

Junghwan was fully aware that Dohoon was sitting in front of him. Fully aware that Dohoon liked him. Fully aware that he was about to kiss his best friend for the first time.

His eyes moved to Dohoon’s face slowly. He studied the younger’s expression carefully. The redness on his cheeks. The way his lips were slightly parted as if he forgot how to breathe. The way his eyes did not leave Junghwan’s, searching, waiting, nervous but hopeful.

Junghwan’s grip on Dohoon’s wrist loosened, not letting go, but gentler now. His other hand came up instinctively and rested on Dohoon’s waist. The contact was light, almost hesitant, like he was asking for permission with just that touch alone.

Dohoon did not pull away.

Junghwan leaned forward slowly. He moved as if any sudden motion would break the moment. His mind was quiet for the first time in weeks. No images from his dreams. No intrusive thoughts. Just this.

He could feel Dohoon’s breath fanning against his lips when their faces grew closer. Warm. Slightly uneven. Junghwan paused there, their noses almost brushing, giving Dohoon time to change his mind if he wanted to.

Dohoon did not.

Instead, Junghwan felt Dohoon’s fingers curl slightly against his cheek, holding him there.

That small movement was what finally pushed Junghwan to close the remaining distance.

His lips met Dohoon’s gently.

Soft.

Careful.

The kind of kiss that felt more like a question than a claim.

Junghwan’s eyes fluttered shut the moment their lips touched. He had imagined this countless times in his dreams, but none of those fantasies prepared him for how calm this felt. How warm. How right.

Dohoon’s lips were softer than he expected. Warmer too. There was a faint taste of chocolate from the ice cream earlier, and Junghwan found himself focusing on that small detail as if it grounded him. His hand on Dohoon’s waist tightened just a little, not to pull him closer, but to make sure he was still there.

Dohoon did not stay still either.

After a second of surprise, Junghwan felt Dohoon relax into the kiss. He felt the younger tilt his head slightly, adjusting, as if trying to fit better against Junghwan. It was awkward in the way first kisses usually are, but it was filled with something that made Junghwan’s chest ache.

Care.

Dohoon was kissing him back with the same gentleness. No rush. No greed. Just warmth shared between them.

Junghwan felt something loosen inside him. Weeks of tension, confusion, guilt, and frustration seemed to melt away in that one simple contact. His mind stopped racing. His thoughts stopped arguing with him. All he could focus on was how good this felt.

How different this was from the dreams.

There was no burning need to consume. No overwhelming desire to devour. Instead, there was tenderness that made his chest feel full. He felt like he wanted to protect this moment, keep it safe, make it last longer.

His thumb began rubbing small circles against Dohoon’s waist without him realizing it. A soothing motion. Something unconscious. Something affectionate.

Dohoon’s hand slid from Junghwan’s cheek to his shoulder, gripping lightly as if to steady himself. Junghwan felt the way Dohoon leaned closer, closing whatever little space remained between them.

The kiss deepened slightly, but still remained soft. Their lips moved against each other slowly, learning. Exploring. Junghwan felt his heart pound harder, but not from lust. It was from something that made his throat tighten.

He liked this.

He liked Dohoon like this.

He liked how Dohoon felt in his arms. He liked how careful Dohoon was being with him. He liked how this felt nothing like his dreams and yet somehow far better.

When they finally pulled apart, it was not because they had to, but because they both needed air.

Junghwan opened his eyes slowly.

Dohoon was still very close. Their foreheads almost touching. Dohoon’s eyes were half lidded, his cheeks still flushed, his lips slightly swollen from the kiss. He looked dazed. He looked shy in a way Junghwan had never seen before.

Junghwan realized his own breathing was uneven.

He did not let go of Dohoon’s waist.

He did not want to.

They stayed close after pulling apart, their faces still only inches away from each other. Junghwan could still feel the warmth of Dohoon’s breath brushing faintly against his lips. His hand had not moved from Dohoon’s waist, and Dohoon’s fingers were still resting against Junghwan’s shoulder as if neither of them trusted their own limbs to behave normally again.

Dohoon blinked slowly, then looked at Junghwan with a small, shy smile tugging at his lips.

“Hyung,” he asked softly, his voice still a little breathless, “was it better than your dream?”

The question caught Junghwan off guard, but it also made something warm bloom inside his chest. He could hear the teasing tone in Dohoon’s voice, but underneath it, there was something else. Nervousness. Curiosity. Hope.

Junghwan did not answer right away.

Instead, his hand on Dohoon’s waist tightened slightly, and before he could think too much about it, he gently pulled Dohoon closer. The movement was clumsy. They were still sitting on the couch in an awkward position, knees bent at odd angles, bodies turned toward each other. When Junghwan tugged him forward, Dohoon lost his balance.

With a small sound of surprise, Dohoon ended up toppling onto Junghwan.

Junghwan’s back hit the couch as he fell onto it, and Dohoon landed on top of him, bracing himself with his hands against Junghwan’s chest. For a second, both of them froze in that position, eyes wide, faces close again in a way that made Junghwan’s heart jump.

It was awkward. Their legs were tangled. Dohoon’s knee was pressed against Junghwan’s thigh in a way that would have made Junghwan overthink weeks ago. The couch was not big enough for two grown men to lie comfortably like this.

But Junghwan did not care.

Not even a little.

All he could focus on was how close Dohoon was. How he could feel the weight of him resting against his body. How their chests were almost touching. How he could feel Dohoon’s breath against his collarbone. How he could hear the faint, rapid thumping of Dohoon’s heart because of how near they were.

Junghwan slid both of his arms around Dohoon’s waist, holding him there, not tight enough to trap him, but firm enough to keep him from pulling away. It felt instinctive. Natural. Like his body had been wanting to do this for a long time.

Dohoon looked down at him, cheeks still flushed, lips curved into a small smile. He did not try to get up. Instead, he adjusted slightly so he could lie more comfortably on top of Junghwan, resting his weight there as if it was the most normal thing in the world.

Junghwan let out a soft breath he did not know he was holding.

He could feel Dohoon’s warmth through their clothes. He could feel the steady rise and fall of his breathing. He could feel the way Dohoon’s hands slowly relaxed against his chest, no longer tense, no longer unsure.

Junghwan’s heart was still racing, but now it felt different. It felt light. It felt full. He felt happy in a way that made his eyes sting slightly.

He looked up at Dohoon and saw the same expression mirrored back at him. Shared smiles. Flushed cheeks. Eyes that held so much softness that Junghwan felt like he might drown in it.

He realized something in that moment.

He did not just like kissing Dohoon.

He liked this. The closeness. The comfort. The warmth of having Dohoon secured in his arms without any hesitation between them. The ease of it. The quiet happiness that settled in his chest like it had always belonged there.

Dohoon’s fingers curled lightly into the fabric of Junghwan’s shirt as if to keep himself anchored there.

“Hyung?” Dohoon asked again, his voice softer now.

Junghwan smiled up at him, his hands still resting securely on Dohoon’s waist.

“Yes,” Junghwan said quietly. “This is a million times better.”