Archive of Our Own

A cold shiver ran through Changbin’s skin as her body slowly started to wake up, her usual heavy and warm blanket was not carefully placed on her as it had when she had fallen asleep. She shifted in her bed, head burying itself deeper in her pillow until the cold was way too harsh to keep ignoring.

With a frown on her face, her eyes still not opening all the way and a permanent pout on her lips, she swung the light blanket off her and stood up. If Hyunjin had stolen her blanket for herself during the night again she would start contemplating murder, no matter how much she loved the girl. She unplugged her phone from the charger on the nightstand and left the room.

Her steps made little to no noise as she approached the kitchen, where she could hear muffled voices she had never heard before. Suddenly aware of what she was wearing, black boxers and a muscle tee that only hid half of her breasts, because the voices were men's.

Why would a man be there? She wondered quietly as she stepped into the starkingly bare kitchen. Something wasn't right, there were so many things missing in this place but it was her kitchen, she was sure of it. What also made her question if she was completely awake yet were the men sitting there, eating breakfast as if they lived here.

They looked like Hyunjin and Jisung but also not. The man that looked scarily like Hyunjin, apart from his jawline which was sharper, looked up and seemed to be just as confused as Changbin. He pushed his elbow against Jisung’s, who looked at him with an annoyed frown before following Hyunjin’s eyes.

Jisung looked like her Jisung as well, but the difference was more striking than Hyunjin’s jawline, his hair was cut short, something her Jisung had been contemplating a lot but never got the company's approval. His eyes grew wide as he looked at her, his posture stiffened as if he had never seen a girl in his life.

“Why is there a girl that looks weirdly like Changbin standing in our kitchen?” Jisung asked Hyunjin in a very loud whisper.

“Did she just come out of Changbin’s bedroom?” Hyunjin asked in an equally loud whisper.

“Oh my god I'm telling Minho! Changbin-hyung slept with a girl!” Jisung shouted while pointing an accusing finger towards the frozen girl in the doorway of the kitchen.

“I didn't sleep with Changbin, I am Changbin,” she finally said. They proceeded to stare at her for an uncomfortably long time, before Jisung slid down his chair.

“I'm getting Chan-hyung,” he mumbled and rushed past her towards Chris’ room. Changbin slowly walked forward and sat on the chair she usually took while staring back at a red faced Hyunjin who seemed to be scared of her.

So they also had a Chris living here, which meant that all her members were boys here. Her heart skipped a beat at the thought of Minho as a man, she didn't know how to feel about it. She wondered if everything else was the same, if they were a boy group, if Felix and Minho got into the group. She wondered if 3racha was a thing here as well. She wondered if Minho and the male version of her were as in love as she was with her Minho.

“It was probably a dream Sungie. I’m sure Changbin didn’t turn into a girl during the nig-” Chan stopped speaking at the sight of the girl in their kitchen. They stared at each other for yet another uncomfortably long time. It gave Changbin time to really look at him and notice how similar to her Chris he looked. His nose, lips and eyes were the same, the state of undress as well, his hair was a short undercut that completely changed from the long hair her Chris has.

“I didn’t turn into a girl, I’ve always been one. From my point of view, you all turned into boys overnight,” she said with a laugh, trying to bring the mood up. They didn’t laugh, Hyunjin was typing on his phone at a speed she had only ever seen done by, well, Hyunjin.

“So you’re Changbin,” Chris said a little skeptically, before crossing his arms over his chest. She nodded, unsure of what to say, thankfully she didn’t need to because the front door burst open, revealing four more men. She could immediately recognise Felix, if she was right, he had to be a man, but he looked exactly like her Felix, from the hair, to the freckles, to the slender body.

“Holy shit.” That came from the boy with Seungmin’s face, he was very boyish which made him a little harder to recognise but the face, partly covered by the bangs and the slim long legs that peeked from his shorts made it obvious it was her, him, them? This situation was already giving Changbin a headache.

“How did that happen? You’re really Changbin-hyung?” Felix asked, his eyes bright and full of wonder, making Changbin remember how fond she had always been of Felix and it seemed that no matter what body she had, she would still love her Yongbok.

“I don’t know, I woke up in my bed, in my room but you all are different so I guess I’m the one who-” She let her sentence hang, trying to find the right words. “Hell, I don’t even know. You’re all supposed to be girls too. Why aren’t you?” That made Minho snort, her eyes snapped over the older man.

Her heart skipped a beat, he looked exactly like her Minho, only the hair is shorter and his arms more muscular, the lack of boobs made Changbin a little sad but it only made sense if he is a cis man. However, she still found comfort in the high nose, the bunny teeth and the sharp eyes.

“Maybe we should finish this conversation after she changes clothes,” Minho spoke for the first time since he came in. Changbin frowned, looking down at her frame, trying to figure out what was wrong with what she was wearing. Only then she noticed that the muscle tee she was wearing had moved and displayed very obviously her left nipple. Usually she wouldn’t care, her girls didn’t either, but these were men she didn’t know, in a place she didn’t know as well. Her arms flew up to hide her chest, face flushed in embarrassment, she mumbled something even she couldn’t understand herself and ran back to her room, well, his room.

She closed the door and started looking around, everything was almost the same, the picture of her family she had on her dresser was the same, except she saw a man beside her sister. She sighed and went to look around the closet, finding many clothes she also had, but also noticed a serious lack of skirts and dresses which shouldn’t have surprised her.

She pulled out a familiar green hoodie, then stared at herself in the mirror for a moment, her eyes gliding over to the underwear shelf. He probably didn’t have a bra, or if he did it probably wouldn’t fit her, the boy in the picture was incredibly skinny just like she had been years ago. She opened the drawer and found men’s underwear, she looked a little deeper and found a lingerie set, she smirked and chuckled, she had the exact same one at home, it was Minho’s favourite.

After finding no other bra than a useless bralette made for decoration only, she settled on using the tightest tank top she could find and slipped on the hoodie on top of it, slipping on black sweatpants as well because she was terribly cold in that dorm. She stepped out of the room and walked back to the kitchen where all seven men were speaking quietly, then became silent when they noticed her.

“You really are him,” Jeongin said. His eyes were a dead giveaway, as well as his voice for some reason, that was Changbin’s baby. She sent him a confused look and cocked her head to the side. “That’s the hoodie he wears when he doesn’t feel his best,” he explained, making everyone else turn to look at him quizzically. “What? I pay attention to hyung!” He defended himself, making everyone chuckle fondly. That was familiar.

“So are you from another universe? It happened in a fic I read once,” Felix chimed in from where he was sitting on one of the kitchen stools.

“Are you in an idol group too?” Hyunjin asked, tucking his hair behind his ears, something her Hyunjin would always do when she started getting excited about something.

“I am, yes,” she answered the tall man.

“All eight of us?” Felix asked, a little bit quieter than how he had been speaking earlier and if their history was anywhere near as traumatic as hers, then she understood why.

“Yes, all eight.” Everyone seemed to let out a breath of relief, happy to hear that in another universe they were still all together.

“Am I the maknae in your group too?” Jeongin asked, making all his hyungs chuckle again, Changbin as well.

“Yes Innie is the maknae in our group too,” she answered calmly and smiled fondly when the younger boy slumped back against the kitchen counter, a blush on his cheeks and a grin on his lips.

“How come you recognise us, like, do we look like your members the way you look like our hyung?” Jisung asked, eyebrows furrowed in concentration. She wouldn’t have thought anything else from him, trying to understand the situation on a deeper level and from the crease on Chris’ forehead, so was he, listening quietly, taking everything in to better understand how to proceed.

“You all have the same face, there are obviously some things that change. Like Hyunjin’s jaw, it’s more square than my Hyunjin. Jisung’s hair is shorter, my Jisung has a wolf cut down to her shoulders. Seungmin is a little taller than my Seungmin, and he looks a lot more boyish if that makes any sense. Jeongin’s jaw too, more square and you’re a little taller than my Jeongin.” Her eyes brushed over Minho, she didn’t dare say a thing about him, she had no idea what the relationship between this Minho and this Changbin was like.

“Felix looks the exact same, if it weren’t for his voice being a little deeper than my Felix I’d think you also were from where I am from,” she smiled at the boy who smiled back.

“No, I do have a penis unfortunately,” he answered, making his lips turn into a downward smile. Changbin giggled then turned towards the leader.

“There is a clear lack of boobs coming from Chris,” she ended her speech. Almost all boys bursted out laughing at that comment, the man immediately flushed all the way down to his chest, the lack of shirt meant that everyone in the room could see it.

“Wait, is your Chris always naked too?” Jisung asked, curiosity filling up his round eyes.

“Oh yeah, she doesn’t give a single fuck.” She answered lazily, a second uproar filled the kitchen but curiosity suddenly took the better of Changbin. “What’s Chris short for?” She asked the older man who seemed glad to have the conversation take a different turn than his parallel universe self’s nakedness.

“Christopher. What’s-” He scratched his throat, seeming embarrassed for asking all of a sudden. “What’s her name?”

“Christina.” Changbin smiled, showing him that it was okay to ask. She was in an unknown territory and they had someone unknown in theirs, it was natural to be curious. Suddenly, her stomach growled loudly in the first quiet moment that had installed itself in the kitchen, making Hyunjin snort and Felix smile widely.

“You really are just like Changbin-hyung,” he giggled and before anyone could say a thing, Minho turned around and started taking things out of the fridge and cabinets to cook something. Changbin suddenly felt bad, she didn’t want anyone to work harder just because some weird magic decided to propel her into a different universe. She awkwardly swung from side to side on her chair, looking at the male version of her girlfriend about to start cooking for her.

“Oh, you don’t have to cook for me, I can make myself something. Or buy something. I don’t want to bother anyone,” she said, scratching the back of her head and feeling every single knot that had formed in her hair as she slept. She would have to ask Hyunjin or Felix if either of them had a hair brush. Minho turned around and the look on his face was something Changbin knew all too well. Those eyes were in all her dreams and more often than not in her bed too, even if they came from someone that wasn’t quite her Minho, it was still making her react.

“Do you know how to cook?” he asked, making Changbin feel flushed and embarrassed. She joined her hands in front of her and twisted her fingers together.

“I get by,” she mumbled back.

“That’s exactly what Hyung says before making a mess in the kitchen.” Jeongin said, making the whole room nod. So their Changbin was a lot more similar to her than she thought.

“I’m cooking,” Minho said in a final tone that sent shivers down Changbin’s spine, the voice and words way too familiar.

“Okay,” she whispered, looking away from the piercing stare of the older man. Minho turned around and resumed his movements by the stove, the rest of the boys continued asking her various questions about their girl-self.

“Do you think Hyung is in your world? With your members?” Seungmin asked, the question making Changbin surprised that she hadn’t thought of it herself.

“Maybe. If he does wake up in my bed like I did his then I wish him good luck when he sees Hyunjin and Jisung. I’m pretty sure they would scream if they ever see a man in our flat,” Changbin chuckled but felt a little bad for her male counterpart.

“You guys don’t have boyfriends?” Hyunjin asked, his expression telling her there was something deeper hidden behind the simple question. Changbin shook her head, her bangs tickling her forehead as she took a quick look around the group who all looked on different stages of apprehension.

“Nah, raging lesbians that bunch,” she joked, hoping to make the mood lighter. And it did, they all seemed to sigh in relief.

“We’re gay in every universe. Good for us,” Felix said in a laugh before Jeongin perked up, as if he had just gotten an idea. He took his phone out of his pocket and began scrolling, the rest were still talking amongst themselves about the inevitability of their homosexuality while Changbins kept a close eye on the youngest who was soon going to ask her something.

“Do I look like that as a girl?” He asked, showing her a picture of himself with long black hair, some purple and white streaks. Changbin giggled, this clearly looked like he was wearing a wig but he was still so adorable. “Don’t laugh!” He pouted, taking his phone back but Changbin reached for it before he could go too far.

“No, I’m sorry. Show me again please.” The youngest reluctantly gave the phone up and looked at her with expectant eyes. “You don’t look like her with that wig, I’m sorry. Her face is pointier and she would never let anyone treat her hair like that, it’s an accessory to her outfits she takes that very seriously. But her eyes and dimples are the same,” she said in a kind tone she reserved only for her baby Innie.

She unzoomed the picture he had shown her and saw the rest of them, dressed in different characters. She smiled fondly at the pretty picture they made all together, they looked like a real family, Changbin really hoped that her and the girls looked as much like a family as they did.

Her gaze fell on the male version of herself, it felt a little weird seeing herself so different. He was visibly strong, on the shorter side but so was she. He looked happy and the way his cheeks creased cutely with his smile made her chest feel empty. How she wished she had the freedom to be this happy in her skin. She wanted to be strong like that, have cute cheeks like that and the ones she had now were nowhere near as cute as Jisung’s.

A gasp left her mouth without her meaning to. “Holy shit,” she exclaimed, making everyone in the room turn to her with wide eyes. Changbin had just moved the picture and saw Minho. It had to be this Minho but in a wig but- “You look exactly like my Minho with a wig on.” She finally looked up and stared right at the older man.

The dancer’s face immediately flushed bright red, he looked like he had gotten caught doing something he wasn’t supposed to. The room exploded in screams and compliments, some saying they kept telling him during the shoot how pretty he looked, others telling him to grow his hair out, a ‘Minho-unnie’ as well as a few ‘noona’ got thrown around in the chaos. Changbin giggled at the frown on the older’s face.

“Breakfast is ready,” he grumbled and started handing out plates to whoever was closest to him. They all got their plates and began eating, Changbin didn’t even question if the food would be good because it was Minho who cooked. It was like heaven in her mouth.

“It’s really good,” she complimented once she had eaten half of her plate and placed her spoon down, leaning back on her chair. Chris frowned at her, so did Minho and Felix.

“Are you full already?” Minho asked carefully, seeing all the food left on her plate.

“Oh.” She looked down at her plate, contemplating how to say that. It seemed that their Changbin didn’t have any restriction from their management so she would have to explain it. “I’m not allowed to eat more than half of whatever food I’m handed. I can stomach fat way too easily and no matter how much I go to the gym the only way to keep it off is-”

“Starving yourself,” Minho finished her sentence for her, he looked angry. His face was neutral but if he was anything like her Unnie, he was absolutely raging. She could see it from the way his ears were read, his lips pressed tight and eyes twitching slightly. She nodded once, suddenly feeling embarrassed.

“Well you’re here now, there’s no rule like that here,” Felix said and reached for more food before placing it on her plate. Changbin’s heart felt full, their care felt familiar.

“I knew there was something missing,” Hyunjin had muttered more to himself than to the rest of them but once he noticed that some were looking at him to elaborate. “Well, her stomach is flat, Hyung has a cute little belly.” He said and made a grabby gesture as if he remembered all the times he had grabbed the man’s stomach.

They finished eating, Chris excused himself to make a call and the rest gathered around in the living room to keep the interrogation going but Changbin noticed something. “Hyunjin, if your hair was a little bit shorter, you would look like Yeji,” she smiled. “Do people compare you and him a lot?” she asked.

“Him?” Jisung said, his head tilted to the side.

“Oh my god, Itzy is a girl group here?” she asked loudly, unable to keep her voice down. That news was way too exciting to stay reserved. “I need to see them.” She made grabby hands in front of her, waiting for one of them to give her a phone with their picture. Once they did, she screamed. “Look at Ryeong-ah!” she laughed loudly, seeing her oldest friend as a woman.

“Is she your neighbour in your universe as well?” Seungmin asked, looking very amused by the whole thing. Changbin nodded, still too busy laughing to really say anything, they probably know everything there is to know about her friendship with Chaeryeong.

As her laughter died down, Chris walked back towards them with a bewildered look on his face. All seven of them looked towards the leader as if they had been trained to pay attention to the older the moment he walked in.

“As expected, manager hyung didn’t believe me when I told him Bin woke up as a girl so we still need to go to our schedule as planned.” Chan’s words made a wave of panic run through her and settle heavy in the pit of her stomach. “Don’t panic, today is only studio time we need to finish up our songs and send them out by tomorrow afternoon,” he explained, making Changbin let out a breath of relief. She never wanted to taint the public image of the group by being seen in their presence.

“Do you write songs for your groups?” Jisung asked, eyes wide and curious.

“Uhm, yes. Chris, Sungie and I we’re 3Racha we make all the songs.” She explained. Jisung jumped up with a shout.

“3Racha in every universe.” He then proceeded to wipe away a tear that had rolled down his cheek. Hyunjin and Seungmin laughed at him while Jeongin rolled his eyes and Felix gave him a tissue.

Soon after they all started moving to get ready to do their jobs. The situation may have been peculiar but life had to keep going. If she remembered correctly, her group also had a schedule today but Changbin couldn’t remember what it was precisely, she really hoped she would wake up tomorrow and start the day over, because she had no idea how male Changbin could try and pretend to be her.

She ended up back in her room, sitting on the bed with a frown, she was worried for her group, what could happen to them. It somehow would feel like her fault if a scandal broke out and ruined the reputation of either group, she didn’t know how the fans reacted to Stray kids with men around, but she knew that her fans and the general public did not react kindly to men near any of her members or herself.

“If you hide all your hair under a hat and pull your hood up, you look exactly like him, don't worry,” Chris said, startling her, he was leaning against the doorframe, this time completely dressed. It was like he had read her mind, having the right words at the right time was Chris’ speciality. She smiled at him nervously. “What’s on your mind?” he asked as she saw her looking conflicted.

“I just don’t want any of you guys to get in trouble if they see a girl leaving your dorm,” she breathed out. Chris crossed the room and sat by her side, the solid arm resting against hers felt comforting, familiar. She had just left yet was already feeling homesick.

“Don’t worry about that. We can just lie. You can be our Binnie’s cousin if it comes to that.” He bumped her shoulder with his, smiled then squeezed her knee. “Don’t worry too much, I know that’s what Seo Changbin is programmed to do but today is studio time, nobody is going to bother us, nobody will see you.”

She nodded and whispered, “Thank you.” before standing up and looking once again through the closet to put on some actual clothes. Chris left her alone for that, he had been very reassuring but the crease on his forehead showed that he was just as worried about the situation. Today was studio time, yes, but what if she didn’t go back home tomorrow? What then? What if she never went back?

That thought was devastating, she would never get to see her girls again, never see Minho again. She had a Minho here but it surely wouldn’t be the same, it had been awkward between them today. Changbin had been so uneasy at the sight of her girlfriend as a man, she didn’t even know if they were together in this universe as well. What if Changbin let it slip that she was dating a version of Minho and this Minho got weirded out? It would break her heart.

Shaking away those depressing thoughts, she grabbed a pair of black trousers, changed her green hoodie for a black one, then stared at the underwear drawer. If tomorrow she woke up still here, she would have to order at least some sports bras because with the heat that was rising by the day, the underboob sweat and chafing would be hell to deal with.

Pulling up a random pair of boxer briefs, the trousers and the cap, she gathered all her hair and stuffed it under the hat. She looked at herself in the mirror, making sure no hair was visible and that the hat was secure on her head. Once it was somewhat to her liking, she pulled the hood of her hoodie up and sighed heavily at the sight of herself.

Stepping out of her room was nerve wracking, she joined Jisung and Chan who were waiting for Hyunjin in the living room. They smiled at her kindly, Jisung still staying as far as he could as if she had some sort of disease. She felt kind of empty without her bag, but she couldn’t find anything she needed to bring with her other than his phone and his wallet so she just stuffed them in her incredibly big pockets. Once Hyunjin had reappeared they were on their way.

That felt familiar, the way down then into the car, the drive as well. Everything was the same, the buildings, the red lights, the shops, the cafés. They made it to the company’s parking lot and Changbin easily pulled out her badge, scanning it to open the elevator. Chan’s eyes on her made her think that he was probably wondering if this building was the same in her universe.

She wasn’t lost but she still looked around to make sure she could find her way around. They walked past a few members of the staff who greeted them without actually looking at them. Relief flooded Changbin once a very familiar sight walked around the corner and broke into a wide smile, looking as adorable as she always did.

“Chan-ah!” Sana greeted cutely with a small wave. “Hey guys,” she added once she noticed the other three behind her friend. They all bowed at the senior, Hyunjin was looking back at her with questions all over his face. It was clear he wanted to know if in her universe Sana was a man or a woman.

Chan stopped to chat with his friend for a little, leaving them to keep walking towards the studio. Once the door closed behind them, Hyunjin asked. “So?” he pressed, making Changbin giggle, wanting to keep the suspense for a little longer.

“Twice is a girl group in my home,” she said with a smile. Jisung nodded as he took his jacket off.

“I knew it, Sana and Nayeon’s lesbianism is too strong, it transcends universes.” His comment made them laugh as Chris entered the room.

“So, I’m getting the demo now or do I have to wait for hyung to talk with all his friends first?” Hyunjin pretended to be annoyed. The leader rolled his eyes and fished a flashdrive from the desk before giving it to the younger.

“Track five,” he said, the younger seemed to know what he was talking about because he nodded and left the room with a sloppy salute.

Changbin found her place on the familiar couch easily, it seemed that this was the same as well, Chris at the desk, Jisung on the floor and Changbin on the couch. She grabbed the spotify pillow and placed it on her lap, smiling a little at it, finding comfort in the smallest things. Jisung then slid a pink notebook on the table in front of her. Looking up at the younger with questions in her eyes, he explained.

“This is hyung’s lyric notebook, he’s been working on a song that he said worked with one of the beats he made. We’re supposed to wrap all of this today while Hyunjin, Minho-Hyung and Felix learn the choreo to the title track we already submitted.” Changbin stared at the notebook with a hammering heart. Maybe it wasn’t a good idea for her to look through it, she had no idea what type of music they made and a lyric notebook was personal. If she found out that anyone had looked through her most raw emotions on paper were being read by someone she would want to cry. But then again this was her, she was him and he was her. They should be the same person, it shouldn’t matter.

“Can I listen to a few of you guys’ songs?” she said, instead of answering the younger. Chris nodded, pulling his phone out of his pocket. Soon the first notes of district 9 started playing, relief flooded her as she recognised the song but the voices felt wrong. She nodded then asked for a more recent one. This time the song coming out of the leader’s speaker was unfamiliar to her, she looked up at him with panic in her eyes. “I don’t know this song,” she whispered.

“That’s your song. Well, it’s Changbin’s song. It’s called Doodle. We released a special album with solo songs in it,” Chris explained carefully. Changbin scratched her head over the hat she wore.

“We also released a special album but they only accepted unit songs so I never worked too much on one. The lyrics feel familiar, I’m pretty sure I wrote that but it just never went past that.”

“So you have written the lyrics for Doodle.” Jisung shifted to sit on his ankles. Changbin nodded, she hadn’t ever named that song, it had felt useless. “That means you probably wrote the lyrics in the notebook too,” he added, clearly trying to reassure her, and it was working.

They soon fell into an easy rhythm, Changbin opened the notebook and flipped through it. All her worries had been futile because she indeed had written all of those already. They were all finished, waiting to be picked for an album. She made it to the song Jisung had said their Changbin had been wanting to finish today and frowned.

“I already wrote this,” she spoke up, Chris turned to her on the desk chair, waiting for her to keep talking. Jisung looked up from where he was leaning on his elbows with the same look on his face. “I mean, I finished this song, I even made a demo and everything. In my universe this song is complete.”

Tension visibly bled out of the leader as she said those words, “Mind doing it again?” he asked with an awkward smile.

“Not at all,” she said excitedly, eager to be doing something she loved.

Time flew by without her even noticing, she could feel the phone in her pocket vibrating but the acute knowledge that this wasn’t actually her phone stopped her from looking at it. Just the fact that she had the laptop of this world’s Changbin in front of her, with the same password, was enough to feel like she was looking through someone’s intimacy.

A sudden thought came to her. She pulled the phone out of her pocket, took the cap off and held her bangs out of the way before placing the locked phone in front of her face. When it unlocked she gasped and giggled. “It worked,” she couldn’t help but shout, making both boys in the room jump. “Face ID” she explained with a laugh. They smiled at her before going back to their work.

Now that the phone was unlocked she couldn’t help but see the wallpaper, her heart stuttering in her chest. Staring right back at her was Minho, this world’s Minho making an ugly face the same way Changbin’s phone had her Minho as wallpaper. This wasn't proof of their relationship, Minho and her had been putting each other as lockscreens and wallpaper since before they got together but Changbin had done it because she had the biggest crush on her.

Maybe Changbin did too, she had seen the love songs he had written, the ones Changbin had written about her girlfriend. She saw those unreleased lyrics that talked explicitly about Minho’s body and the things they did when the lights were off. There was a lot more silence as the hours ticked, it didn’t feel stressful or heavy, she was glad to have something that was familiar to occupy her mind as she waited to see what the future had in store for her.

She finished rewriting and reproducing the song faster than she had done the first time. Sending it to Chris who had also finished what he had been working on. Jisung jumped once he saw that they were done for the day and urged them to leave and go get food. Changbin couldn’t help but smile at the familiar feeling that settled in her chest at the sight of the younger. They settled on having Jisung and Chris go down to the cafeteria and bring back the food because having Changbin wandering around wasn't a good idea.

Waiting wasn't something she minded, she liked getting served so she would appreciate it while it lasted. No, what had her on edge was the fear of someone barging in and seeing her. She was terrified that her presence would cause harm to their reputation. Her thoughts drifted towards what would happen if her own group was seen with a man. It would ruin everything, but it seemed that being in a boy group had its perks. More freedom to do what they wanted, artistic as well they had the opportunity to release solo songs and fans wanted more of it. She doubted it would ever happen to her and her girls but she was glad at least one version of her got to live that life.

With the phone in her hand, she figured that she wouldn't really mind if the man version of herself looked through her phone and she felt like they were similar enough. She decided to look through it but only at surface level, she was glad it was a Samsung because she would have no idea how to navigate an IPhone. The pictures he had were adorable, Jisung curled up, sleeping on the very couch she was sitting on. His meals at various restaurants. Gym pictures of himself shirtless. Changbin snorted but had to admit he worked hard, maybe if she was allowed one day she could look as strong as him.

The rest of the phone was pretty blank, much like hers, she wasn’t much of a social media addict like Felix so she was not surprised to not see many apps on his phone. A knock on the door made her jump, her whole body froze, her blood felt like it had stopped as she listened closely. She couldn’t hear anything, her thoughts suddenly drifted towards Chris and Jisung who had left the door unlocked so they wouldn’t have to struggle when they would be back with food in their hands.

“Unnie!” Felix’s voice broke out from behind the door, making all the tension bleed out from her body. She rushed towards the door and opened it with a smile, feeling herself at home with the way she had been called.

“Shouldn’t I be noona?” she said, noticing Chris and Jisung behind him with trays of food. Moving away to let them come in, Felix stepped inside as well, his hands immediately wrapping around her arm.

“Do you mind if I call you Unnie? I’ve always wanted to have a Unnie but my sister hates it,” he pouted as they walked towards the table where Chris was unpacking everything, once they sat Changbin couldn't help but chuckle and ruffle the younger’s hair affectionately.

“Of course I’ll be Unnie. I’m used to that more than noona anyways.” She smiled at him with reassurance.

“Should I call you unnie too?” Jisung asked, cheeks already full with food Changbin hadn’t even noticed had been ready to eat already.

“Whatever you feel most comfortable with.” She smiled and pushed food in front of Felix, a silent habit that she couldn’t shake off even in another universe.

They ate while the other three talked about the upcoming comeback. Changbin’s thoughts drifted towards the horrifying thought that maybe she was never going home. She had no idea how she got here and how to go back. She didn’t know why she was there and all those unknown were freaking her out but she held it in. She smiled and answered when one of them asked her a question. The rest of the day flew by after that. Producing with these two was always fun and made time fly by so fast.

Soon they were done and packing to go home. Feeling so comfortable with Chris and Jisung made her almost forget where she was, they had the same personalities as her girls, only the voices sounded a little wrong but it was easy to not pay attention to it. Only when they were all packed to go did Changbin remember that she had to hide her hair. Taking her hair in her hand, she twisted the long black wavy strands then shoved the cap on her head, effectively trapping her hair under the hat, then pulled the hood of her hoodie on.

The two others were waiting for her, once they saw she was ready, with her mask on her face, they opened the door and made their way to the elevator as fast as they could while still walking. Fortunately, this time nobody stopped them, they walked past a few members of the staff that barely even looked up from their phones. Once inside the parking lot, they walked towards the car waiting for them without a word.

Chris chatted with the manager driving them while Changbin pretended to be sleepy and let her head fall on the window, eyes closed. Her heart was beating fast in her chest with adrenaline. She had no idea how anyone outside of the group would react to her being here and not their Changbin. Would they throw her in jail for breaking into the dorm? Maybe identity theft? She had no idea why her thoughts were going to the worst case scenario immediately but she couldn’t help it. As the car came to a stop in the familiar parking lot of the apartment complex they lived in, she was once again struck by how similar everything in this universe was.

They quickly went home finding Hyunjin in a corner, sitting on a chair with a sketchbook on his lap, drawing with a focus she only saw when her Hyunjin would draw or dance. Soft music was playing and a wave of sadness engulfed Changbin so suddenly that all she could think about was Minho. She wanted to bury herself in her arms and never let go but she wasn’t here and the last time they spoke made Changbin curl into herself and cry herself to sleep. Minho would've made it all better even after the fight they had the night before because that was just how her lover was, and that was one of the reasons she fell in love with her.

Instead, she silently made her way to the bedroom and hid under the blanket, shivering at how cold the room felt. Once she stopped feeling like crying her eyes out she would go out and ask Chris where they kept their spare blankets. She took deep breaths, face smushed against her pillow but her cap was in the way, making it very uncomfortable. She sat up a little to throw her hood back then the cap off, discarding it on the floor.

As she was about to lay back down, her phone vibrated inside her pocket. She pulled it out and looked at who had sent Changbin a text and if she needed to look at it or not. Turned out to be Chris informing her that he had told the manager that she was feeling sick and wouldn’t be able to be at the meeting they had scheduled for tomorrow. The future felt a little less heavy but she really wished she would wake up the next morning in her own bed, with her own group.

With a heavy sigh she made her way to the bathroom with sleeping clothes, she knew it was way too early to go to sleep but if the night had fallen then she could do whatever she wanted. She guessed that they probably kept their things in the same order and really didn’t feel like going out and having to ask. There was a very low chance that anyone would be upset if she mistakenly used their shower or their towels.

After her shower, she pulled out a new toothbrush and brushed her teeth, gaze and mind lost in the fog of the bathroom. Once clean, she made her way towards the living room, seeing Hyunjin still hunched over her drawing and Jisung strumming absentmindedly on his guitar. “Where’s Chris?” she asked quietly, not wanting to disrupt the calm they had in the room.

Hyunjin pointed towards the kitchen with his pencil and mumbled, “Kitchen.” Changbin mumbled a thank you then made her way towards the older. The man was zoning out while ramen was cooking in front of him, Changbin couldn’t help but feel a pang of guilt. The older was probably stressed out by the situation and it was all her fault even though she had no control over it she still felt terrible.

“Chris.” She tried to get his attention by softly speaking so as to not startle him. The mission failed because the older man still jumped slightly and turned around, neck and ears turning red in embarrassment. Changbin couldn’t help but smile softly at the reaction that was so similar to her Chris.

“What’s up?” he said, trying to act nonchalant. Changbin bit the inside of her cheek to stop herself from laughing at him.

“Do you know where the spare blankets are?” she asked quietly, the energy in the dorm that evening was very soft, it felt wrong to speak too loudly. The older man nodded then made his way towards the hallway, Changbin followed him silently then accepted the big blanket that looked exceptionally warm with open arms. “Thank you. Good night,” she said and before she could walk away, Chan’s voice stopped her.

“Aren’t you going to eat before sleeping?” he asked worriedly. She hadn’t thought about that, she had already eaten twice that day, it was one more than what she was allowed back home so she felt pretty full still. She smiled and shook her head.

“I don’t feel hungry but thank you.” She waited to see if the older believed her, when he nodded she added, “You know, you’re just like her.” She smiled somewhat bitterly. “Very motherly, even as a man.”

“I take that as a compliment,” he said, voice light with a small laugh to keep her at ease.

“It was meant to be.” She didn't wait to see his reaction before turning around and back to her room with a slightly louder "Goodnight”.

Under that warm blanket, Changbin fought to find sleep as homesickness was clawing at her throat. The noises outside her door were unfamiliar, her room smelled different, her mattress didn’t feel the same and those boys seemed to never turn the heater on. She wondered if it would be weird to call Minho, when she felt uneasy or sad she would call her girlfriend but this was a totally different situation. How she wished she could just hang onto the hope that when she opened her eyes the next morning, everything would go back to normal.

She grabbed her spare pillow and hugged it close to her chest, pretending in between consciousness and dreamland that she had Minho close to her, reassuring her about the uncertainty of the future ahead of her.

~~

When Changbin woke up, she didn’t open her eyes immediately. Not wanting to know the truth just now. Staying in denial and hoping felt safer. Even though she was not very hopeful that her world came back to her. There were already hints to her theory tickling her nose and making a deeply heavy feeling weigh down on her chest. She sighed and turned around in her bed, keeping her eyes closed and bringing the blanket she had asked of Chan the night before with her.

Scratching her nose, she wondered what she would do if she stayed long enough for the company to realise Changbin wasn't Changbin anymore. How was she going to deal with her period once it hit her out of nowhere because her tracking app was on her phone in her own universe. It felt a little too early and useless to just download it on this Changbin’s phone, especially since her birth control was in her own bathroom. She didn't want to have to spend more time here than she had to, no matter how lovely these boys are, they aren't her girls and she missed them so much already.

What would happen if some of the crazy girls that like to follow the group around notice her and try to destroy their reputation. That was the thing that terrified Changbin the most. She could live with the knowledge that if she never went back home she could never perform on stage anymore but at least she could still produce songs for them, but harming them in any way would kill her.

A sense of desperation clawed at her. Frustration bubbling up way more violently than she could explain, making her groan and sit up. She pushed her hair back with a huff but froze when she heard her roommates' muffled voices. Anxiety crept up on her, they were still basically strangers to her and so was she to them.

It had only been one day but she missed Minho so much it hurt. Everyone called her clingy and she held the title with pride until today, because this need to be close to her girlfriend most of the time was excruciating. Even more so after all the things she had said to her the night before she disappeared. Taking the phone from where it was charging on the nightstand, she looked at the time and fell back on the bed. She had nowhere to be, nowhere to go. 3racha had a meeting she couldn’t attend and the rest probably had other schedules so she would be all alone. She had no idea if she liked the idea or not.

There was more talking and moving around until the sound of the front door shutting echoed in the flat, then silence. Changbin stared at the ceiling for one too many minutes before standing up, her bladder screaming at her to get up and rush to the bathroom. There she freshened up but decided against getting out of her pajamas. Her first stop was the kitchen, filling a tall glass of water then promptly drinking it without thinking about breathing.

A small smile drew itself on her face when she put the glass down in the sink and noticed a mug with her, his, name on it in front of the coffee machine. She looked around the cabinets for a little bit to find the coffee pods and sighed relieved when she found her favourite. Coffee in hand, she lazily made her way to the living room, hating how empty and quiet the flat felt now that she was alone.

To fill the void, she opened youtube on the TV and searched the group's name, suddenly very curious how their performances looked compared to hers. An hour passed exactly like that, her giggling quietly over how young they all looked back then and feeling a weird heaviness in the pit of her stomach every time something in the song or choreo was different.

The sound of the front door opening made her jump from her spot on the couch. Despite expecting one of her roommates, Sengmin was the one walking towards her with a shy confidence. “If you're anything like my hyung, you're probably not enjoying being alone right now.” Changbin almost melted at the younger's words. “ I have nothing to do right now so-” he let the end of his sentence hang, knowing that she would understand and being too embarrassed to admit he thought of her and wanted to do something nice. Changbin looked at him with a soft smile that hid some guilt, this situation was making him act out of ordinary, Changbin wasn't the member that needed to be looked after but right now she was lost and scared. It was her job to look after them, yet here she was.

The rest of the day was spent like that, commenting on old performances with Seugmin until Jeongin arrived and made himself comfortable between them. Once they had gone over their whole discography, they went on to put on some random show the male version of herself had really liked but she had never heard of before. Little by little the dorm filled itself back up, bringing life back to the previously quiet and lonely home. Changbin couldn’t tell which of them had brought food but soon they found themselves around the table in the living room, chatting and eating as if it was the most normal thing ever.

All her worries were forgotten for a brief moment, because the feeling of the seven people around her was the same. The overwhelming love and comfort transcended universes. “I’ve had a question since yesterday,” Hyunjin spoke up right after taking a big gulp of his beer, chicken drumstick hanging between his fingers loosely. Changbin smiled and nodded at the boy whose glassy eyes showed his state of tipsyness. “Do I have boobs as a girl?” he asked, rubbing his free hand over his flat chest. She couldn’t help but giggle at the question, so previsible yet still cute.

“I’m sorry. You’re pretty flat,” she answered with a pout. Hyunjin let out a cry of sorrow which sent chicken flying everywhere.

“I don’t know why you’re so surprised. From what she told us we look mostly the same and look at you.” Seungmin chimed in with malice in his eyes.

“What do you mean look at me? I’ve been going to the gym with Hyung.” He climbed to his knees then rolled his sleeve up to his shoulder, flexing his bicep. “Look!” The display made the whole table giggle while Felix reached over to grab the arm and squeezed it with a wild look on his face.

“It’s obvious that only Changbin hyung, Channie Hyung and Minho Hyung have big boobs. Hyung line.” Jeongin added to the conversation nonchalantly but his ears were a deep shade of red.

“Actually, my Innie is a lot more chest heavy than you would think, she just likes to bind it when we’re out of schedule and performance clothes.” She felt the need to correct the younger. The blush that spread to his face all the way to his neck made the room burst in cackles.

Jisung slapped the youngest’s back and shouted “You did well maknae-ah.” making the room roar in renewed laughter. Changbin couldn’t help but steal a glance towards Minho who was chuckling behind his glass, ears a little red as well. “Wait, does that mean I don’t have boobs either?” Jisung shouted in sudden realisation, he looked towards her with his big round eyes filled with disbelief.

“I mean, let’s just say they’re the size of apples,” she said, trying to make the younger feel a little better but he still looked absolutely devastated, grabbing his pecs with a lost look on his face. Hyunjin was laughing so hard on the other side of the table he almost choked.

“You probably see their boobs so much,” Felix said dreamily. Coming from anyone else, it would’ve been creepy but Changbin knew that it was adoration painted all over his features and not perversion.

“Yeah, especially your Minho Unnie.” Seungmin added with a smirk. The words made Changbin burn all over, she couldn’t help but look towards Minho who was frozen in place, silent and staring down at the table.

“W-What? Why wo-would I? I see everyone’s boobs a normal amount.” She tried to defend herself, still unclear if this version was romantically involved and not wanting to make it awkward. She knew she was being weird and suspicious but their words genuinely took her by surprise.

“Yeah but Minho Unnie more right? Or she would feel jealous.” Felix giggled like a little demon. From the corner of her eye, she could see the way Minho’s fist clenched around his glass and not knowing what to do made Changbin panic. Her eyes grew twice their size as she tried looking anywhere but at the male version of her lover. When her gaze met Chris’, he must’ve noticed how panicked she looked and opened his mouth to say something, hopefully settle down the situation, but Jisung spoke faster.

“Wait, are you guys not in a relationship in your universe?” The silence that fell in the room as he asked the question felt loud in her ears. Her mind was burning with how fast it was working. She had no idea how to navigate this situation, how to react, how to process all that information.

“Yah! Don’t make her uncomfortable.” Minho’s voice broke the silence and made her skin tingle. He didn’t have the same voice as her girlfriend but it was close enough that she still felt her heart flutter.

“I’m not uncomfortable,” she rushed to say, making the older’s eyes meet hers. Once their gazes met, it was hard to even want to look away. Her face felt hot as she added “I am in a relationship with my Minho,” she admitted, eyes glued to the way Minho’s shoulders relaxed and cold eyes melted into their natural softness.

“Well, I’m dating my Changbin,” he said with a soft, shy smile. Changbin felt like crying, hearing this made it so hard not to throw herself in his arms, she missed Minho so much and knowing she had a version of her right here but unable to touch him felt like torture.

“That’s so romantic.” Felix cried out with tears in his eyes, letting himself fall against Jisung who was teary eyed as well.

“Okay guys, I think you’ve had enough to drink.” Chris chuckled at the two and shook his head, way too fond. Changbin didn’t know what to do with that new information, she helped clean up the table and smiled seeing the four stumbling out to go back home and sleep the chicken and beer off. Minho’s retreating figure made her heart clench, somewhat hoping that he would turn back and look at her. When he did, she saw her in his eyes and felt a weight, one that had begun to feel unbearable throughout those two days away from home, lifting up just a bit.

As she brushed her teeth, she heard knocks on the doorframe. There, standing, was a freshly showered Chan who looked so cuddly and very tired. Changbin spat her toothpaste and cleaned her mouth before turning completely towards the older. “I think we’re going to have to tell manager hyung about you. Tomorrow we have a meeting about the comeback and Changbin has a meeting for a shoe brand he’s supposed to model for.” She bit her lower lip anxiously. Their manager had a pretty fatherly vibe to him, treated all of the girls respectfully but she had no idea how he would react to an information like that one.

Hopefully, the boys’ manager was the same. Her thoughts drifted towards her group again, she really hoped the male version of herself hadn’t taken her place. She nodded at the older and sighed, pulling on the sleeves of her hoodie. “I guess the best way is for him to see me. What time is he supposed to come pick everyone up tomorrow?”

“Seven am,” Chris answered, seemingly relieved that she was agreeing with him as easily.

“I’ll be ready, just make him come up and we’ll talk about it.” She was nervous about it but it was unavoidable. Chris reached out to her, first taking her hand in his and squeezing it, then pulling her in for a hug that she didn’t know she needed. She melted in his arms that felt so familiar yet foreign.

“I’ll be there, from beginning to end, I’ll be right here with you. I made a vow when I picked Changbin to be by my side to accomplish my dream and you are still my Changbin. I owe to myself from your universe to protect you the way I would have protected him. I’m with you, you’re not alone.” Tears swelled at the brim of her eyes at his words but she refused to let him see her cry.

She hugged him back with as much strength as she could, gripping the back of his shirt in her fists. “Thank you,” she whispered against his shoulder, breathing in his scent.

Once again alone in her bed, she hugged a pillow close to her chest. The guilt of being away from her members felt less intense tonight, it still didn’t feel right that she wasn’t there for them. She usually was the one to make sure everyone was okay, everyone did what they were supposed to do. Be a listening ear for the younger ones and a help for the older ones. Yet here she was, in another universe, being a problem for everyone when she was supposed to be the one to solve them.

A sigh escaped her and willed those thoughts away, out of everything that happened that day, Changbin could only think about one thing. “We love each other in every universe.”

~~

Changbin’s knee bounced in its place as they waited for the manager to arrive, Chris had texted the man to come up instead of waiting for them in the parking lot. Jisung and Hyunjin were sleepily drinking their coffees in the kitchen while Chris stayed on his feet. She scratched her head, her hair slowly getting dirtier by the days, she didn’t have any of the products she usually used and felt a little weird buying things with someone else’s card even if it had her name on it.

The door opened, making Chris look up and Changbin jump but the sound of the rowdy boys entering the previously quiet place was enough to make her breath out. The three younger ones joined the two sleepyheads in the kitchen, Minho on the other hand joined Changbin on the couch, sitting by her side quietly. The small reassuring smile he sent her was enough to make her leg stop gesticulating. She buried herself in the clothes she was drowning in and pretended not to listen to the older’s conversation.

“Did you prepare what you were going to tell him?” Minho asked the leader calmly. Chris sighed and rubbed a hand over his face.

“I figured seeing her sitting there would start the conversation easily enough.” He tried to joke but Changbin couldn’t find it in herself to even chuckle. The oldest’s phone buzzed in his pocket, once he checked he breathed out, “He’s coming up.”

That made her fists ball on her lap tightly, eyes stuck on the floor, heart hammering in her chest, throat closing in anxiety. A hand forced her fist open, she looked up to see Minho lacing their fingers together like it was the most natural thing to do and for them it was. She found comfort in the familiar action, in the familiar weight against her palm. When a knock resonated in the flat, silence fell. The conversation the boys were having in the kitchen suddenly stopped and everyone listened as Chris’ footsteps echoed closer to the door.

“What’s so important that you need me to come all the way up here.” Their manager wasn’t the same as Changbin’s, she had never seen that man in her entire life and that only made her anxiety grow. Changbin guided the hand that was latched to Minho’s to rest on the couch, subconsciously trying to hide her love because she didn’t know that man and her own manager didn’t know about her relationship with her Unnie. Once their eyes met, he stopped talking, and froze in his place. There was a moment of silence where he clearly was trying to make sense of what was happening. Eventually, he let out a stressed out breath, eyes flickering towards Minho and said, “You must’ve wished for that really hard.” He snorted.

Chris rolled his eyes and whined, “Hyung be serious,” ignoring the man giggling to himself at his joke. So he knew about them, Changbin glanced at Minho when she felt his hand squeezing hers just slightly, his ears were deep red but he kept a neutral face.

“Okay, what’s the situation here? How did Changbin turn into a girl overnight? You were actually serious that one time when you called me. I thought you were fucking with me,” he rambled, leaning against a chair, looking way too relaxed for what the situation actually was.

“It’s not our Changbin.” Chris tried explaining. “What I mean is, she’s not the Changbin we know but with long hair and-” He stopped himself, eyes flickering towards her before hesitantly adding. “Female attributes.” That made the manager snort again but he composed himself quicker than the first time.

“I am getting too old for this,” he mumbled under his breath. “So what is it then?”

“She’s from another universe I guess. Just saying it actually sounds pretty crazy but she’s from a world where Stray Kids is a girl group.” Chris got lost in his own explanation but she was glad he was the one talking because she had no idea how she would navigate this whole mess.

“Am I tripping balls? I stopped doing mushrooms like 10 years ago but I think it’s catching up on me.” Changbin couldn’t help but snort at the manager’s comment but Chris and Minho only looked aggravated, it seemed that it was his usual behaviour. After a while he took a deep breath and cleared his throat. “How long has he actually been gone?” he asked, finally serious.

“Today is the third day.” Chris answered.

“But you said he was at the studio two days ago when you guys finished the album demo.”

“That was her, she finished the song.” The manager nodded, then stayed silent for a long while, just staring at Changbin but not really seeing her, he was clearly deep in thoughts.

“I’ll contact the higher ups to put him on indefinite hiatus, we’ll say it’s for health reasons,” he started while looking at Chris, voice dropping to a serious tone that shook her to the core. “Try not to let her be seen with you guys, bringing her to the company was a shitty idea. Until everything goes back to normal we’ll proceed with the group as 7. I will cancel every meeting he has and refuse any offer coming his way. As long as we don’t know what’s happening, why it’s happening and how to go back to normal I don’t want to risk anything.” His words were final, there was no room for debate, then he turned towards her. “If you need anything that the boys can’t be seen buying let me know and I’ll go pick it up for you. I am not saying you can’t leave this place but I will strongly advise against making any type of public appearance.”

On one hand, Changbin felt relieved that they had a plan and the group wouldn’t be disrupted too much because of her, on the other hand she felt sad that they still had no idea of what to do with her and how to get her to go home. They all nodded then quietly departed, leaving her alone on the couch, with the feeling of Minho’s hand in hers still present like a phantom.

The silence that was left in the room felt loud in her ears but knowing that they weren’t mad at her for being here. Letting herself melt into the couch, the thoughts of having Minho close to her sent a warm feeling tingling into her chest but also made all the memories of the last time she saw her girlfriend rush back. It had not been pretty and Changbin preferred not to think about that. While she couldn’t help them with the group stuff, she could help with house stuff.

Entering the kitchen, a sigh left her lips at the state of the table. She could not believe she was about to clean up men’s messes but those were her members, even if they were men they were just like her girls and she would do anything for them. The dishes were cleaned easily, the table was wiped, the floor was mopped and yet she still felt restless. Making her way to her bedroom, she took one look at it and cursed her male self for being this clean.

She would just need to occupy herself until she found a way to go back home.

~~

Two weeks have passed since she arrived in this universe and she only cried eight times, she patted herself on the back for that. The guys have been busy but they always found time to come and ask the most random questions about her world and their women selves. Most often than not, Chan was there to put a stop to their hogging but she didn’t mind it, she liked being surrounded by them and seeing them with their wide eyes and constant giggles.

Minho was a constant presence in her new routine, he always dropped by their dorm after a schedule and the two of them existed in the same room for a little while. It was more than she knew she needed. His presence was almost like having her there, even though their perfumes were different and his voice was deeper. It was hard to describe but she couldn’t help feeling the same way in his presence than in hers.

At first it had made Changbin feel guilty, how could she get butterflies in her stomach when seeing someone that wasn’t her girlfriend. However, she easily reasoned with herself because that still was Minho and no matter what she looked like, she loved her. They spoke a few times about their respective relationships and Changbin learned that both their stories were the same. The two being attracted to one another, holding hands all the time like they were magnetic, putting each other’s ugly faces as wallpaper, the playful teasing on stage, the butt grabs.

Remembering all those little things always warmed Changbin’s chest. A lot of people just assumed it was very loud between the two of them when they were alone, the loudest members of the group, but every time they found themselves together they just held hands quietly and watched a show until Changbin fell asleep and Minho went back to his dorm. Maybe the older felt uncomfortable with the thought of sleeping in the same bed as her, Changbin wouldn't bring it up either even though she often felt her eyes water when the pillow she hugged at night was nothing compared to having her love cuddling her.

Even when Minho looked exhausted and at the verge of falling asleep after their long and tiring schedule of the day, he always insisted on spending a little bit of time with her. While usually only one member hung out around when she was in the common areas of the dorm, Minho always ended up finding her and spending quiet time with her. It touched her deeply and made her feel even more guilty for being here and still having no idea how to bring his boyfriend back.

“You look like snow white and the seven dwarfs, cooking and cleaning like that,” Minho said when Changbin passed him his bowl, making her roll her eyes.

“Who is a dwarf here? It sure isn’t me,” Hyunjin said while sitting down.

“Why do you think you got transported here?” Jisung asked, eyes glazed and unfocused with sauce all over his cheeks.

“If you’re here then where is our Changbin? In your universe? In another one? Just nowhere and he'll come back not remembering a thing from the past few weeks?” Felix asked, just as dazed as Jisung. They had just gotten back from a schedule that lasted the whole day, unfortunately everything Changbin was able to cook was instant ramen so that was what they were munching on as they rambled about her situation.

“I wonder how the woman version of Chan-hyung reacted to a dude in your dorm,” Seungmin added with a snort.

“Oh I really hope for him he did not get jumped by Chris-Unnie.” Changbin shook her head at the thought of a random man bursting out of her room and Chris charging at him naked.

"What's the last thing that happened before you woke up here?” Jisung continued, not minding the conversation happening around his deep thoughts. Changbin froze, her eyes glancing over at Minho who was staring down at his bowl with a frown.

“I mean, it was just a normal day of practice for all the award show performances then I went home.” She purposefully omitted something really big that happened but she wasn’t sure how to go about it.

“So you didn’t have a loud, explosive fight with your Minho?” Hyunjin asked, making Changbin’s uncertainty fly out the window.

“I-Yeah, I did.” Changbin scratched her throat, avoiding everyone’s eyes but from the corner of her eye she noticed Chan elbowing Hyunjin.

“So both you from here and you from over there fought with their Minho.” Jisung looked focused the same way her Jisung was when she got inspiration for a song or started a new show she ended up loving.

“I guess. I mean I wouldn’t call it a fight.” She risked a glance towards Minho who looked like he was battling between multiple emotions, no matter how guarded Minho was, Changbin could always tell what was going on in that pretty head of hers, in that case his.

“Well you both had a disagreement then you woke up here, maybe if you talk it out you’ll go back home.” This was the first time Chan engaged in one of those conversations, maybe he had heard his Changbin and this Minho screaming at each other the same way Chris had heard them.

“But that’s only if our Changbin figured this out as well and came to the same conclusion.” Jisung added but Changbin couldn’t find it in herself to have hope, not if the only way to go home was like that.

“I don’t think it’s that easy. What if Unnie and I’s argument wasn’t the same as theirs. If it is the same-” She stopped talking to look straight at Minho, “It can’t be resolved by talking it out.” The sigh that left her did nothing to appease the weight on her chest. Minho looked down at his ramen, moving them around with his chopsticks until Changbin made herself rip her eyes away from him.

“It doesn’t hurt to try. At least you’re not doing nothing,” Seungmin finally spoke, his tone even, sure but not harsh or accusatory.

“Just say it if you want to get rid of me.” She chuckled humourlessly, trying to lighten the mood but Seungmin was having none of it.

“We can see how restless you’re getting, stuck in the flat, unable to go anywhere. You want to go home just as much as we want our Changbin back,” he reasoned with her. Seungmin was right, she was losing it slowly but surely and she missed her girls very deeply, it was like an open wound that stung each time she noticed differences between her girls and these boys.

The rest of the dinner was quiet, all of them were tired and Changbin couldn’t find it in herself to try and entertain them. Soon she gathered all their bowls to wash them and saw Hyunjin sliding a bag of sweets from his not so secret stash to share with the rest of them for once. As she cleaned the kitchen, she couldn’t help but get lost in thoughts, flashes of that night replaying behind her eyes and making her throat tighten as well as a heavy feeling weighing down her stomach.

There was nothing she could do to go back home and that was the most devastating part of it all. After telling all of them she was going to sleep, she made her way down the hall and into her bedroom, ready to hide under her blankets and mope until sleep took her. “Holy shit!” She startled when she saw the silhouette of a man sitting at her desk. Still not that used to these boys.

“Sorry! I didn’t mean to scare you,” Minho said, hands up in defense, standing up to show he was ready to leave if Changbin desired so. The younger just sighed in relief before crossing the room and sitting on her bed.

“It’s fine, I was just lost in thoughts and didn’t expect to see anyone,” she assured him with a mumble, unable to meet his gaze for the first time in weeks. Minho sat back down on the chair, the both of them stayed silent for a little while, knowing what they had to talk about but not wanting to open that wound again. “Let’s get this over with. At least we should figure out if we both argued about the same stuff.” From the corner of her eye she saw the older rubbing his hand over his face.

“Had an award show that day too?” Minho finally spoke, his voice low, almost a whisper. The seriousness of his tone and the words that came out of his mouth made her feel like she had just gotten punched in the guts. Unfortunately they were talking about the same event and Changbin had no idea how to navigate this whole mess.

“Yeah,” she whispered before pulling herself together, rolling her shoulders back and gathering her hair to tie it up with a hair tie she stole from Felix. “We won, 3racha got producers of the year. We were really happy, the whole team was and during the break Minho-Unnie and I sneaked away to-” Changbin blushed, remembering how giddy and handsy they got.

“Celebrate,” Minho filled the blank.

“Yeah.” Changbin smiled. “Then we overheard someone bad mouthing us. Someone very influential but inconsequential in our life just sharing their useless opinion very loudly and-”

“You let it happen,” Minho cut her off, in the exact same tone her girlfriend had used when they had that exact argument.

“What was I supposed to do? Fight her? Because she said our sunbae deserved the award more? That makes no sense and would’ve made more problems for the whole team than it would’ve done any good,” she argued for what felt like the thousandth time.

“You’re always talking about your convictions and doing what is right, defending the kid’s honour but the moment it comes to you, to your feelings being hurt, you fold. You fucking let yourself get abused and disregard your own feelings so fast.”

“I do what I have to do for the team because they mean more than some dumb rich kid’s opinion that paid their way through the industry. Someone that could ruin us with one phone call, I can take it. It doesn’t matter to me.” For a moment, Changbin was back there, staring back at those eyes, feeling that burn in her chest, trying to make her understand.

“But it matters to me! It matters to all of the kids. She didn’t only talk about you three, she targeted you in particular and you just let it happen, you keep letting it happen. I can’t stand there and watch you accept mistreatment as long as you’re the only one touched by that. I can’t stand it. It makes me so fucking mad when you do that, you’re worth so much more than being a punching bag just so nobody else gets hurt.” Minho’s voice was raising slightly but it was nowhere near as loud as it was the last time.

“I would do anything for the team, this is my life and I would never do anything to jeopardise our career, our lives. Not at the expense of my ego, I could not care less about the way any of their words make me feel as long as you’re all well.” That seemed to make Minho tick and stand up, fury in his eyes.

“I care! I give a fuck! I love you more than anyone I’ve ever loved in my entire life and seeing you just taking hits after hits when you could stand up for yourself the way you do for all of us makes me lose my mind! It’s not even about this particular situation, it has happened so many times and you refuse to act, you refuse to let us act.”

“What do you want me to do? Change the way I am? I love you too Minho and knowing that you care so much about me means the world to me but I can’t change the way I am because it makes you mad.” Changbin had gotten up from where she was sitting on the bed as she spoke. Now standing right in front of Minho, she noticed that he was slightly taller than her Minho but the face was the same, the arguments and tone were the same. This was the love of her life she was talking to and they were once again at an impasse.

“I don’t want you to change, I fell for the caring and self sacrificing asshole that you are but I just wished you’d let me do what you won't do for yourself.” His voice quietened, making a tingly feeling run up the back of her neck.

“And what is that?” she whispered.

“If you won’t defend yourself, let me do it for you. Let me be the support you are for every single one of us. Tell me about your worries, about the people who wronged you and let me do something about it,” he pleaded, hands reaching to take hers,“Trust me to do what’s best and know the limits. Trust that I won’t do anything to make you uncomfortable but also never let you get disrespected by anyone ever again.”

Changbin’s throat was tight, her eyes blurred with tears begging to be shed. Squeezing the older’s cold hand with a deep inhale then a long exhale, she finally nodded. She knew that the first time they had that argument she was too stubborn to hear Minho out, to understand that it wasn’t her responsibility to endure all the hardship for the whole team so they wouldn’t suffer as much. Those weeks away from her team, getting to know all the sides of these boys that were so similar to her girls made her realise how deeply she cared for all of them and how much they reciprocated. Hearing them talking about their Changbin with so much love never failed to make her heart squeeze, thinking about the way her girls probably talked about her the same way when she wasn’t there.

She missed them but most importantly, Minho, she missed her Minho even deeper after that fight and how alone she had felt in her bed that night, right before appearing in a whole new universe where everything was the same and at the same time not. Everything Minho had told her that night had scared her, not only because she wanted to be the rock she knew she could be for the team but also because letting Minho take the reins meant letting go of what she had held onto for so long. Since Chris had chosen her and she had seen how hard Chris was working and how scared Jisung had looked all the time, she made it her mission to make sure they knew they could count on her, always. If she let Minho do the work, then maybe everything she worked for and built could crumble.

“Okay,” she whispered brokenly. She agreed not just to get the fight to end but because she trusted Minho blindly. She trusted her with everything she had and maybe she was tired of holding the weight of the group’s worries on her shoulders without letting go of her own. Maybe she wanted to let go of her own mental load and even though it felt wrong, all the cells of her body were fighting against it, Minho was begging her to do it and there was very little Changbin would keep from her lover.

Minho pulled her by the hand to wrap her into a bone crushing hug and for the first time since the night before she arrived here, she felt like she could finally breathe. “Will you hold me to sleep tonight?” Changbin asked quietly, words partly muffled by the older’s shirt. Minho nodded against her head and led her to bed, wrapping his arms around her frame, once they were comfortable under the blankets. With her eyes closed she could notice the difference between the man’s strong arms around her and the usual softness of her girlfriend had never been more noticeable but in her core, she knew that was her Minho and that was how she fell asleep this peacefully.

~~

Changbin woke up to the sound of voices and laughter in the other room, her head on a firm chest that made the world sway up and down with each breath the person under her took. She rubbed her cheek against the shirt and tightened her arms around the waist in her hold. A hand gently touched her head, running fingers through her head. She knew exactly where she was, it didn’t surprise her but it still made her throat close up a little. The way Jisung shouted “Hyung!” behind the door was just another proof that this whole argument from yesterday was not the way to go home.

Nonetheless, she still let herself enjoy those quiet moments of cuddling with the person meant for her. A sigh escaped her as tingles ran down her spine from the gentle head massage. “Good morning,” Minho whispered, his chest vibrating under her ear. His morning voice was rough and deep, very manly but warm and comforting. It felt weird to get butterflies in her stomach at the sound of someone else’s voice than her girlfriend but she couldn’t help it.

“Hey,” She whispered back. “Guess it didn’t work,” she couldn’t help the disappointment in her voice.

“We’ll find a way,” He whispered back before wrapping his arm around her shoulders. She sighed again and let herself enjoy the embrace before reality caught them both. Changbin dragged herself out of bed when Minho’s alarm went off to let him have some time alone before he had to go, they were in the middle of comeback preparation and she knew exactly how exhausting all of it was.

No matter how left out she felt while seeing them all talking about the schedules they had to go to and absent mindedly marking the new dance moves they had to memorise, she knew it was better for the wellbeing of the group and for her own that she didn’t ask too many questions. It would make her way more sad than she already was.

She got ready, even if didn’t go out, she made it a point to get dressed and look presentable or else she would let herself rot in bed and wither away. The kitchen was lively once again as she entered it, getting handed a cup of coffee without even having to ask. She could see it in their eyes that they had expected her to have gone back to her own universe after the fight and were a little disappointed but she couldn’t take it personally, she had had the same reaction. Minho entered the room soon after and as fast as he she got handed the coffee, so did the older. They all ate and drank fast before dumping everything in the sink and walking towards the door for a full day.

Before the door closed behind them, leaving Changbin all alone in a quiet dorm, Minho turned back, walked towards hers before wrapping an arm around her waist and kissing her on the forehead. The butterflies went crazy, the gesture was so familiar and caring that minutes after the front door had closed, she was still standing there, unmoving, dazed. Shaking her head clear of the fog that had taken over it, she quietly started washing all the dirty mugs and plates in the sink, wondering how she was going to spend her day doing.

It turned out that even in another universe, Minho was still giving her the inspiration she needed to write. Perhaps it was this peculiar situation that aided this surge in productivity but she found herself on his laptop, playing around with beats and sounds, writing down lyrics and humming to herself as she did so. The image of Minho in the morning and his rough voice, the feeling of his lips on her forehead before he left, his arms around her, it all made her soul sing like it always had and she needed to let it out the way she knew how to. She got so into it that she did not see the hours flying by until the door opened, only then did she realise that the sun had set. She looked up to see the boys flooding the flat and couldn’t help the gasp that left her lips.

“Your hair!” she exclaimed, jumping up to look closer at the new styles on her friends' heads. Jisung’s hair went from dark brown to a deep red that complimented his skin tone so beautifully. Hyunjin hadn’t changed the length much but his previously long black hair was now honey blonde, and Minho. Minho made her stop in her tracks, his hair was blue, not all the way through but it was still blue. She couldn’t help herself as she walked closer, feeling her heart beating hard in her chest at the sight of Minho’s shy expression. When she ran her hand through his hair delicately, he leaned into it until she whispered. “It’s pretty.”

“Thank you,” he whispered back, ears bright red in embarrassment. Once she dropped her hand, Minho squirmed and announced that he would start cooking dinner before disappearing in the kitchen. She quickly recovered and started fussing over the rest of them, even complimenting Chris who hadn’t gotten any colour done but did get a haircut. Everything was normal, it felt weird to be used to seeing them and find it as natural as breathing.

As they ate, Changbin couldn’t help but chat about the song she started making, hoping to have Chris’ opinion on it when he had the time. The day came to an end, both Minho and Changbin moved in tandem as they got ready for bed, brushing their teeth together, changing into sleeping clothes then climbing in the bed together. They hadn’t said a word, they just knew they would get back into their old routine, it seemed that the man version of herself had shared a bed with his boyfriend every night the same way she had. There was only one thing that she couldn’t stop thinking about since that very morning.

“Goodnight kiss?” she asked, shy, buried in her blankets and avoiding eye contact. No words came from the older, she heard the rustling of the sheets above her then felt lips on her forehead again. Looking up at him, their faces were so close and all she saw was Minho, no matter which it was, that face was just inherently Minho. She leaned forwards and kissed his lips softly before whispering. “Goodnight, I love you.”

Minho smiled fondly, returning the kiss on her small mouth just as softly and whispering back “Goodnight, I love you too Binnie.”

Changbin woke up, pleasantly warm and comfortable, feeling rested and ready to start her day of doing nothing yet again. She opened her eyes and immediately noticed something was different, the room looked fuller, familiar in a nostalgic way. Sitting up abruptly, the sudden realisation made her heart beat hard in her chest. She threw her blanket off her body and scrambled towards the door, running to the kitchen where she was hearing noise. A sob almost left her when she saw the back of the woman she loved right there in front of her.

“Unnie,” she whispered, making Minho turn around, a surprised look on her face. Changbin rushed to her side and pulled her into a bone crushing hug, the feeling of the older woman’s body against hers was familiar and missed, the arms around her waist and the face in the crook of her neck. She felt like crying, screaming, jumping around. She was finally home. Instead she opted to say, “I missed you so much. I love you. I trust you.” Her words made the older chuckle and pull away from her neck to kiss her lips gently.

“I love you too, so much. I don’t know how I survived without having you with me.” Minho’s words made all the buried feelings spill over.

“I promise I won’t ever be stubborn again, I can’t live without you,” she blurted out.

“I doubt you can do that but I’ll hold you to it.” With that Minho’s hand slid up to the back of her head before pressing their lips together for a long kiss, charged with emotions that made all of the younger’s nerves burst into flames inside her skin. Once they pulled apart, they stayed close, looking at each other with dumb smiles on their faces until Hyunjin sleepily walked into the kitchen and yelled.

“Unnie is back!” Soon, six girls surrounded her, asking a thousand and one questions about her stay in this other universe where they were all men and just like that she realised that it hadn’t been a dream, she really had been gone but she was back now and she would never make the same mistakes twice.