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    His arms ache from the CPR before the ambulance arrived, and his temples are throbbing. The cross around his neck feels heavy, like it’s pulling him through the floor. Someone must have opened a window, he thinks, his shoulders shaking in the December air. A different paramedic tells him the police will be there any minute, that he needs to sit down and take some deep breaths. He’s pulled onto a chair and someone fits an oxygen mask over his face. His skin feels wrong and he tears the mask off, fumbling with the slick plastic.

    “Tell them no sirens,” Ilya gasps weakly. “Our daughter is asleep. She’s twelve years old.”

    A series of vignettes about fatherhood, adoption, and the grief of an otherwise-normal Tuesday night in December. Shane and Ilya don't know if they're ready for parenthood, and ten years later, Ilya knows he's not ready to be a single dad. Set post-canon, across eighteen years of their daughter's life.

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